


Survival Of The Broken

by Gigi_Bell



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Age Swap, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Violence, Byun Baekhyun-centric, Dubious Morality, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by The Walking Dead, Love at First Sight, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Past Sexual Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protectiveness, Rape Recovery, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:55:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 77
Words: 227,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22610617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gigi_Bell/pseuds/Gigi_Bell
Summary: No matter what anyone says, no matter what you think.You are not safe.~ COMPLETED AT CH 55 ~
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Do Kyungsoo | D.O, Byun Baekhyun/Do Kyungsoo | D.O/Kim Jongin | Kai/Park Chanyeol, Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongin | Kai, Byun Baekhyun/Park Chanyeol
Comments: 434
Kudos: 258





	1. A Flower

**Author's Note:**

> This work is solely mine, I do not allow stories to be posted on any other site, and any translations that are done will be posted here on my own page, I don’t allow my works to be posted under any other accounts.

Baekhyun was running. Full speed, jumping past trees like he was trying to avoid the night falling.

His fingers tightly wound around his little brother's wrist, pulling him along.

The elder knew he had made a mistake, Taeyong had warned him it was nearing dark, but Baekhyun was starving- having given his brother a lot of what they found.

When the apocalypse had first begun, he never imagined he would get this far.

He was small, weak, he wasn’t even remotely calm enough to have killed these creatures, but he persevered.

For his little brother Taeyong.

The twelve year old had more guts than he did, it had been obvious when he had only been a toddler, but Baekhyun still protected him, still loved him to death.

But Taeyong was still a child, and he wouldn’t give up on him, he never had, and he didn’t plan on it, ever.

“Hyung- Hyung I’m tired.” Taeyong coughed out, his dirty hands grabbing Baekhyun's shirt.

Baekhyun looked around with wide eyes, they were in the woods, there was nowhere for them to find cover. “No, a little further, Tae. You can do it.”

The child glared and watched the elder readjust his backpack over his shoulder, “No! I’m tired!” He yelled, moving his back against a tree, “You don’t know what we’re doing!”

Baekhyun gawked before jumping up and running over to hold a hand over his brother's mouth with a dirt covered hand, “Stop it, be quiet.” He hissed, “Just because we’re in the woods doesn’t mean they can’t find us.”

Taeyong glared and shoved his brothers hand away, moving to sit on the forest floor. “I’m tired.” He repeated quietly.

The elder sighed and pulled his brother to his chest, grimy fingers moving the greasy hair from Taeyongs forehead. “Okay, okay Hyung will watch out while you sleep, okay?”

“Where are we going?” The younger mumbled, moving to lay in between his brothers legs, his fingers touching Baekhyun’s cold arm, rubbing over the pretty moon soulmate mark.

Baekhyun licked his cracked mouth and began rubbing Taeyongs forehead, an action that always put the younger to sleep. “I don’t know, but we’re a team, remember? We’ve always been a team.”

“Because Hyung always… takes care of me…” Taeyong mumbled tiredly.

“That’s right.” The elder whispered against his brother's head, “That’s right, go to sleep.” He requested, reaching into his pocket and curling his fingers around his knife.

~~~~~~~~

The backpack that laid on the forest floor beside Baekhyun was opened as he counted the little supplies they had left.

The sun was just rising and the elder rubbed his eyes, thumb feeling the dark circles and then running along his pronounced cheekbones.

He never used to look like this. Baekhyun actually used to consider himself a rather attractive person, he wanted to wait for his soulmate to come sweep him away despite his flaws.

But now, he would only kill for a shower, he didn’t have time to be a hopeless romantic when cannibalistic creatures snapped jaws at him everywhere he went.

He sighed and counted their cans of food. Only three left, enough for Taeyong for three, maybe four days.

Baekhyun hated leaving home now, but any place was better than the dark memories inside that horror filled place, even if the creator of the nightmares no longer was there- he could still remember them- and that was enough to make his skin crawl.

“Taeyong.” He muttered, reaching over to pull his brothers ragged jacket tighter onto his shoulder and zipped it up underneath Taeyongs chin from where Baekhyun moved him laying on soft grass.

“Hey, bug, get up.” Baekhyun laughed softly and ran his thumb over Taeyongs cheek, at least his brother looked the same- healthy and sweet- just like he always had. “We gotta get going, little bug.”

Taeyong let out a groan and laid on his side, his hands browned with dirt, moving to lay them under his temple. “Hyung, did you sleep?”

“Of course.” The elder lied easily, leaning down to press a kiss to his brother's head, “I’ll open you up a can, we have peaches left, your favorite.”

“My favorite.” The younger mimicked quietly, licking his lips.

Baekhyun smiled and grabbed his knife, stabbing it into the top of the can, the grinding metal sound used to be annoying, but now it meant food for Taeyong, not necessarily himself, but he grew to appreciate the noise.

“Here.” Baekhyun offered, tossing the rabidly cut off lid to the side so Taeyong wouldn’t hurt himself, regardless that the younger could handle himself decently. “Up, Tae.”

Taeyong grumbled before sitting up and accepting the can, “Thank you, Hyung, good morning.”

The elder hummed and licked a bit of juice from his thumb, licking his lips hungrily before looking away and stabbing into the dirt. “We’re going to keep walking through here, it seems safer than being on the road. We’ll follow the sun.”

Baekhyun felt his hands shaking with weakness as he scratched his cold arm, still not regretting giving Taeyong his coat even though he knew his nose was running and he wondered if his headache was from hunger or a cold.

“Whatever you say goes.” Taeyong said kindly, fingers getting sticky as he reached into the can and offered a peach to his brother.

The elder accepted when he would normally argue, mainly because this would probably be the only bite of food for the next day or so.

“Let me tell you something, little bug.” Baekhyun requested, moving to watch the younger eat, pulling Taeyongs hood over his ears. “Hyung doesn’t know what he’s doing okay?”

“Hyung.” Taeyong looked guilty and wiped the juice from his mouth, “I didn’t mean to get mad at you, you always do your best for me.”

“You’re right though.” Baekhyun mumbled, “I don’t know what I’m doing anymore, Taeyong. We’re just…. we’re just going to keep trying until we figure it out.”

Taeyong nodded and tossed his empty can to the side before kneeling and wrapping his arms around Baekhyun's shoulders. “We stay together, no matter what.”

“We always have, right bug?” Baekhyun responded, pressing his nose to Taeyongs hair.

The younger nodded.

~~~~~~~

Baekhyun wasn’t sure how much he could keep going like this.

Running off of a small amount of food every two days or so, and he couldn’t even recall the last time he slept.

Maybe it was about four days ago when they had found a room that was relatively decent in town, but that was also his fault for falling asleep, because when he woke up all of the rooms were flooded with creatures except theirs.

“Look!”

He smiled softly at Taeyongs laugh and looked over his shoulder, “You found a flower, it’s pretty, Taeyong. But stay close to me please.”

Taeyong laughed again and ran over to Baekhyun's side in his worn out converse, pulling his light backpack over his arm again, “For you, Hyung!”

Baekhyun smiled and accepted the flower, “How cool! You want to know a trick?”

The child nodded and watched as Baekhyun stopped and pulled his backpack off his shoulders, digging through.

“Mom taught me this when I was little.” The elder explained quietly, a pang of guilt on his face as Taeyong looked confused. “Look, if we put the flower in between a book…. let’s just use this notebook, then it will become all flat and you can save it when it dries out.”

“Mom taught you that?” Taeyong wondered as Baekhyun placed the notebook back in his back after explaining and showing, “I wish I met her too! That’s so cool!”

Baekhyun gulped and nodded, “I know, Mom was nice.”

“Nice like Dad was?”

“No.” The elder said immediately, grabbing Taeyongs hand tightly, fingers on his opposite hand whitening around the knife in his opposite pocket, “Not like that, like really nice.”

“Oh!” Taeyong nodded and curled his hand into the olders, “Sounds good!”

Baekhyun would have laughed at his cuteness had his heart not been racing so hard.

Suddenly, Baekhyun heard the sound of jingling like that of cans being pushed around.

He reached out and grabbed Taeyong, shoving him behind him. “Stay behind me.” He ordered in a whisper, looking Taeyong in the eyes, “Stay.”

The child nodded and held the back of his brother's backpack when Baekhyun spun around.

The elder slowly walked towards the sound, his knife tight in his hand as he walked towards the noise cautiously.

If he wasn’t so damn tired he’d have just had them both take off running in the opposite direction, but they were following the sun, not running away from it or else they’d end up in the same overrun town they had come from.

“Hey! Freeze!”

Baekhyun froze in his tracks as he spun around, pushing Taeyong to the ground and standing over him with his hands up.

He heard footsteps over his shoulder and licked his lips nervously, the taste of sweat and dirt on his tongue. “I-I’m just passing through- please.” He muttered, voice shaking with nervousness, he hadn’t encountered a real person in a while, they ran from them, people weren’t safe- even before the apocalypse.

“Turn around.” The voice was deep, demanding, Baekhyun's heart was racing.

He turned around and stepped back, closer to where Taeyong laid nervously, unable to do anything but curl fingers around his older brothers worn down jeans.

“What’s your name?” The man demanded, a gun in his grip and brows so dark Baekhyun shook harder, but he was surprised by a few things.

One, this man was surprisingly clean and looked healthy.

Two, he didn’t necessarily look frightening, but he was still pointing a gun at him.

And finally, the man couldn’t see Taeyong, the long grass must be shielding his brother just enough for him not to be noticeable, and for that Baekhyun was relieved.

“Byun Baekhyun…. I was just walking through…” He responded, his knife held in his palm by just his thumb.

“How many walkers have you killed?”

Baekhyun frowned at the question, he'd never had a name for them, but now he thought that name fit the monsters. “I can’t count that high.”

He saw the man's lip curl upwards slightly, but he quickly dropped it, “How many people have you killed?”

Baekhyun gulped, “One.”

“Why?” The man drawled, no readable expression.

“Because…. because it was time.”

The man raised a brow curiously at Baekhyun's answer and looked him over, “How old are you? When’s the last time you ate?”

“I’m… I'm twenty two.” Baekhyun whispered, slowly putting down his hands as he watched the man put away his gun into a holster. “And… it’s… it's been a while.”

“Here’s the deal.” The man began, “I'll bring you to my camp, you mess up at all, you’re out, hear me?”

Baekhyun looked up at him curiously, surprised at his offer, putting his knife into his pocket and scratching his soul marked forearm. “What’s your name?”

“Wu Yifan.” He introduced, stepping closer with his hand outstretched and Baekhyun stepped back immediately, trying to keep him as far away as he could.

“Wait, wait, don-“

Baekhyun cut himself off and dropped to the ground, his back blocking Taeyong. “It’s my brother- it’s my brother.” He explained as Yifan went to take his gun back out.

“Please.” Baekhyun muttered shakily, his crusted hand coming out in front of him as he felt Taeyong press into his back in fear, “He’s twelve, please, please don’t.”

“Hey, I’m not doing anything.” Yifan frowned down at the two, “He's welcome, you guys are welcome. I didn’t mean to… to scare you…”

“Yifan Hyung!”

Baekhyun made a scared noise at the calling and heard Yifan curse as he turned around towards where the noise was coming from.

“Hyung!” The voice continued.

Yifan rubbed his temple, exasperated, as a member of the group popped out, “Fuck, Sehun, I’ve told you to stop yelling, goddamn.”

Baekhyun's eyes flicked to the other man and he scratched over his arm nervously.

“Hyung, you’re the one that said don’t go off on your own- oh, hello.” Sehun murmured, pushing his hair from his face almost nervously as he stared down at the wide eyed man on the ground.

“Go back to camp, you’re scaring him.” Yifan ordered, a roll of his eyes as he patted Sehun’s shoulder.

Contrary to listening though, Sehun stepped closer. “He has Hyungs mark.” He whispered in disbelief.

“What?” Yifan rolled his eyes, “You're freaking him out, stop.” He grabbed Sehun’s shoulder before he could get closer.

“Hyung, he has the moon mark- you know what I’m talking about.”

Yifan suddenly ‘oh’ed and Baekhyun frowned in confusion, feeling Taeyong sitting up but still hiding behind him.

“Baekhyun.” Yifan addressed, “Do you want food? You and your brother. We have food, and clothes, you can rest and get cleaned up, nobody will mess with you, I'm one of the leaders- you have my word.”

Baekhyun looked confused as Yifan tried to convince him to go with them. “Why? What’s… what would I owe you?”

“Nothing, those of us left need to watch out for each other.” The leader explained, “What makes you think you’d owe something?”

“Everyone wants payment.” Baekhyun said softly, turning to look at Taeyong. “Hey, you good? I pushed you pretty hard, you okay?”

Taeyong nodded and Baekhyun felt horrible every time he saw the fear on the youngests face. “Hyung…. I… I want food.”

Baekhyun sighed and pressed his mouth near his brother's ear, “What do you think then? Good or bad? You tell me, Taeyong.”

“I think…. we can risk it either way.”

“You think so?” Baekhyun laughed softly and weighed his options.

They were almost out of food. He hadn’t slept in weeks, he hadn’t eaten anything filling in days, he couldn’t recall the last time they had been cleaned- he reeked of sweat and dirt.

“Okay.” Baekhyun said unsurely, standing to his feet and pulling Taeyong to his side, “Okay… nobody… nobody can touch my brother.”

“Nobody will touch you either.” Sehun cut in with a twist of his lips and an analyzing expression, “Our group isn’t like that.”

Baekhyun smiled softly and pushed his hair out of his face like he was nervous, and he didn’t know why. “Okay, lead the way?”

“Follow me then.” Yifan muttered, looking amused for a moment before he spun around and started walking towards where Baekhyun heard the sounds earlier.

It turned out to be string holding cans like a fence, it was an impressive trap- well, more of a warning system- but Baekhyun was more impressed with all the people.

So many people, he didn’t know that he would be able to learn all of their names.

Tents were scattered about, even a large RV resting to the side.

People stared as they walked in, Taeyongs hand nervously holding onto his and Baekhyun couldn’t help laughing quietly as he noticed two kids about Taeyongs age running around and playing with a ball.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” Sehun said suddenly, making Baekhyun jump and try to hold back his embarrassed blush as he nodded, maybe the dirt on his face would cover it for him.

“How long were you on your own? Not a lot of people?” He added, a smile playing on his small lips and Baekhyun laughed under his breath.

“I don’t know… it’s been over a year, maybe. I-we don’t talk to people… too many risks.”

Sehun hummed, “And too many bad people nowadays. I can’t blame you, if I were you, I’d avoid them too.”

“Hey, we got newbies?” Baekhyun's attention was drawn to a woman sitting in a folding chair, a baby breast feeding in her arms probably about one.

He hadn’t seen a baby in so long, let alone one so young.

“Yeah, more people for you to boss around, Hyuna.” Yifan laughed as she reached out to hit him and Baekhyun tilted his head curiously. “You seen Kyungsoo at all? Need to get them some clothes, and… they’ll really want to meet them.”

She looked over Baekhyun curiously at Yifans words and then stopped at the moon on his arm with a fond laugh, “About time you got here, sweetheart. Those boys deserve it so much.”

Baekhyun raised a brow and then tried to play off his confusion with a small smile, “I’m sorry…. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Hyuna laughed as if hilarious and ran gentle fingers over the back of her babies head. “Sehun! You didn’t tell him anything.”

Sehun flustered and his ears reddened, “Noona, I -I mentioned it, I implied it!” He defended.

Yifan snorted and ruffled Sehun’s hair, “Yeah, Sehun, be a better friend to your brothers soulmate.”

“What?” Baekhyun gawked.

Taeyong started pulling on his hand then making him look down at him, “Hyung… Hyung, I want to go play with those kids.”

“You want to meet them, honey?” Hyuna smiled softly at Taeyong and Baekhyun sighed in relief that she wasn’t saying anything that would bring anymore attention to him specifically.

Taeyong looked up at Baekhyun as if unsure before nodding, “Noona… can-can I play?”

“Of course, run off, cutie.” She dismissed in a way that Baekhyun should be offended she was acting like she was his parent, but Taeyong didn’t notice at all.

Baekhyun dropped to his knees and began taking the backpack off Taeyongs back. “You be nice, okay? And you be careful, you stay where I can see you.”

“Yes, Hyung.” Taeyong nodded and Baekhyun laughed as the child bounced on his feet in excitement, it was a good sight to see.

The elder smiled and pressed a kiss to Taeyongs hair, internally reminding himself to make his brother change and get cleaned later. Taeyong wasn’t nearly as back as he was though. “Okay, play nicely.”

Baekhyun felt a part of his stomach churning as Taeyong turned to bounce away excitedly. He couldn’t tell if it was nervousness or jealousy that his brother could still be pure, could still be innocent despite seeing much more horrors than he was sure any of these children had seen.

“He’ll be okay.” Yifan reached down to pat Baekhyun on the shoulder, “Mark and Lucas, those two kids, they’re about as dangerous as picking flowers, let’s get you cleaned up- no offense, but you look like shit.”

Baekhyun let out a quiet chuckle and a nod of agreement, “I feel like shit too.” He admitted.

Yifan snorted.

“I think he looks quite nice.” Baekhyun looked over Yifans shoulder towards a table filled with supplies and felt his heart pound at the tall man leaned back on his palms. “Oh, look at you, never seen any stray Hyung brought in look like you.”

“Chanyeol.” Yifan smirked and shook his head, “There’s a reason you think that, maybe I’ll let you figure it out on your own.”

Chanyeol tilted his head curiously, one of the most handsome smirks Baekhyun had ever seen on the man's lips. “Oh, but I’m so impatient Hyung, I hate secrets.”

“I… I like secrets.” Baekhyun word vomited and then immediately felt embarrassed as he watched Sehun walk over to the taller man with a childlike smile on his face.

“Yeah? Why’s that, gorgeous?”

Baekhyun felt his mouth drying up as Chanyeol stared at him, so handsome he scratched his jaw to keep his hands from shaking. “They… they… can keep people from getting hurt.”

“Hmm.” Chanyeol looked him over and Baekhyun watched his eyes soften, and then mouth drop open a bit and couldn’t help the small laugh as he scratched over the moon tattooed into his arm. “Holy shit.” Chanyeol added.

“Holy shit indeed, you got a pretty soulmate, I’m very jealous.” Sehun drawled with a laugh.

Baekhyun felt Yifan grabbing Taeyong's backpack from his hands then. “Baekhyun, you can leave your things here, the only thing we ask is if you have any food to set it out to be rationed, other than that you can keep your things here until we can figure out where to place you and your brother.”

“Taeyong.” Baekhyun corrected as he slid his backpack off, “His name is Taeyong.”

“Excuse me.” Yifan muttered apologetically as he watched Baekhyun set things on the grass, frowning at the lack of supplies, “Taeyong, then. I’ll be sure everyone learns your names quickly, I’ll announce you both tonight after you’ve rested.”

Baekhyun smiled and felt eyes on him as he pulled out the last two cans of fruit they had left. “Here, this was all we had left.”

“Wow.” He heard Sehun mumble and he quickly picked up the rest of the random supplies he had dumped out. “That’s it?”

“That’s it.” Baekhyun responded softly, tossing the backpacks underneath the plastic tables and using the edge to pull himself up.

“No wonder you’re so skinny.” Chanyeol muttered, sounding almost mad, “You ever need anything, gorgeous, you come to me.”

“Like you’re ever going to leave him alone.” Yifan rolled his eyes and placed a hand on Baekhyun's shoulder to lead him towards the RV. “Let’s get you some new clothes, Baekhyun.”


	2. Little Moon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jongin, the flirt.

Baekhyun wasn’t surprised with how much clothes they had stocked up, not with how many people they had, but he was surprised Yifan gave him an option.

“Men’s is over here.” Yifan pointed to a box beneath the built in table in the wall. “I’ll grab some kids clothes while you look, how old is he again?”

“Twelve.” Baekhyun called across the RV, a smile on his lips as he pulled the box out. “He’s a bit small though.”

Baekhyun then began rummaging through the box, not that it really mattered what he wore, but it seemed a lot of these clothes were bigger, looked like he was just going to have to drown in them.

He ended up settling with a pair of socks, dark blue jeans, boxers, and a large orange sweater. He didn’t even care that they would all be too big for him- he was freezing and he felt disgusting.

“We’ll have to get you guys some new shoes, or maybe I can walkie out to the crew that is still out and hope they’re still in a mall.” Yifan explained as he grabbed two towels, a handful of kids clothes in his hand.

“You don’t have to.” Baekhyun mumbled, standing up and following Yifan out.

The leader laughed, motioning for Baekhyun to follow him down a hill, “Your shoes look like they’re on their last life, maybe one of the others have an extra pair.”

Baekhyun smiled shyly at the group of people washing clothes at the edge of some sort of creak and then flushed once he realized where they were going. “I… have to bathe in front of everyone?”

“You shy?” Yifan laughed before realizing Baekhyun genuinely looked scared, “Relax, Baekhyun, i'll lead you to a secluded part- only a few other people might be there- and nobody will even pay attention, swear.”

Baekhyun hadn’t had the elder lie to him thus far, only promising him things he hadn’t had in a long time. “Okay.”

“Okay.” Yifan said softly, a small frown on his face as he eyed Baekhyun. “We’re just going past these trees.”

He pointed and pushed some tree branches out of the way and gently guiding Baekhyun to a smaller pond looking area, there was a man with his back towards them, the color a pretty tan.

“There’s… someone here.” Baekhyun mumbled shyly as Yifan set a towel on the sand for him.

“Don’t worry, that’s Jongin, there’s no way in hell he’d ever touch you. You don’t have anything to worry about, okay?”

Baekhyun twisted his shirt nervously and nodded.

“Okay, I’ll go back and see if your brother wanted to bathe now or later, you remember the way back?”

“Yes.” Baekhyun mumbled, “Don’t worry about Taeyong, he can play a little.”

Yifan laughed and ruffled his hair, “Okay, i'll ask to get something cooked up for you then, you look like you might collapse.”

Baekhyun smiled appreciatively and watched the elder walk off with an extra towel and some children’s clothes over his arm, maybe it wasn’t so bad here.

Company was fun, he hadn’t talked to anyone but Taeyong for so long.

And apparently, he had a drop dead gorgeous soulmate, which was extremely unexpected.

Baekhyun looked over and made sure the man's back was still facing him, and it was, he was washing his hair under a small waterfall like stream of water and probably had no idea anyone else was here.

He quickly pulled his shirt off with a small shiver at the coldness of the air and stripped his ruined clothes away before quickly walking into the pond.

The water wasn’t necessarily the cleanest, but it felt refreshing on his skin as he got about waist deep and then cupped the water, rubbing it onto his face with a laugh.

Looks like he didn’t need to kill for a bath anymore.

This water was cold, but the promise of cleanliness motivated Baekhyun to want to stay here all day.

He knelt down and plugged his nose as he dipped his whole head under. God, even his itching scalp felt better with just the water peeling away some of the grease.

He knelt down and leaned his head forward to scrub out some of the built up dirt and laughed quietly, disbelievingly.

The dirt floated off his skin and it was so satisfying Baekhyun watched in amazement as he scrubbed under his nails.

“You new?”

Baekhyun jumped at the voice, looking ridiculous as he flailed and ended up sitting in the sand at the bottom, the water up to his collarbones.

“Cute.” Jongin murmured, “You new, Yifan brought you?”

Baekhyun nodded with a dry throat as he watched the tanned man swimming his way closer, uncaring about the nudity it seemed.

The man laughed as Baekhyun blushed, “Cat got your tongue?” He then paused and looked over the smaller, “Wow, he just found you?”

“In the woods…” Baekhyun whispered, wiping the water off his forehead.

Jongin smiled, all pretty white teeth on display, “You're a pretty sight, who’d you meet so far?”

“Um…. Hyuna… Chanyeol, Sehun…” Baekhyun recalled quietly, scooting back a bit uncomfortably as Jongin began swimming towards the shallower area closer to Baekhyun.

“Let me tell you this, you don’t need any of them, doll. Stick with me.”

The smallers cheeks flushed bright pink and he turned his attention back to cleaning his hands to avoid the man's pretty stare.

“You shy? That’s okay, I’m not.” Jongin added with a flirtatious smirk.

Baekhyun laughed quietly, “I’m not shy…”

Jongin beamed at his voice and moved in the water closer, only a few feet away. “Really? You can’t even look at me, pretty. That’s okay, I’ll just keep flirting with you until I get responses.”

“I’m looking at you.” Baekhyun responded with a slight pout as he looked up, pulling his legs closer, unsure of whether this water was see through or not. “There’s no need, I’m listening.”

“Oh, but I want to.” Jongin shot back with a wink, eyeing the pretty man in front of him. His eyes trailed over Baekhyun's boney shoulders and collarbones with a slight frown though.

“You have a little… Do you mind… Can I?” Jongin cut himself off and instead scooted closer and reached out to wipe a splatter of dried blood from Baekhyun's sunken cheeks.

Baekhyun gasped and raised his hand to his face, “What? Where?”

Then, Jongin wrapped warm fingers around his wrist and pulled his arm straight out. “You… you…” He mumbled in excitement.

Baekhyun frowned in confusion before Jongin was laughing and standing up and Baekhyun began to freak out. “What are you? Don’t-“

“I'm not doing anything creepy.” Jongin frowned and touched the crown of Baekhyuns head gently, “I swear, look.” He requested.

Baekhyun felt a warm finger trailing over his cheek and slowly opened his eyes and saw Jongin standing up, but the water covered below his hip bones. “Look, we’re soulmates.” Jongin urged.

And sure enough, resting on his hip was an identical moon imprint, Baekhyun wanted to touch it, but of course he didn’t and instead licked his dry mouth and felt relaxed when Jongin sat back down.

“How many of you are there?” Baekhyun asked in disbelief.

Jongin's smile was no longer flirtatious, and instead, it was fond and soft, genuine. “Just three of us have them, and we’re a hundred percent sure we weren’t each others soulmates- but shared one- that means you must be very special to have gotten more than one.”

So, if Jongin and Chanyeol had the mark, who was the last one?

“So, what’s your name, pretty?” Jongin added, his foot brushed Baekhyun's calf in the water and the other flustered.

“Baekhyun…. you’re… Jongin, Yifan told me.” The smallers' ears were on fire and Jongin smiled like it was his favorite sight.

“That’s right, doll. And you can’t imagine how happy I-we are to see you, finally.” Jongin laughed in such a childish way Baekhyun had to laugh too.

“Yeah? I-I’m glad.” Baekhyun murmured quietly, cupping some water and rubbing his face.

Jongin beamed radiantly, “I’m going to go get dressed and wait for you! Get ready to be annoyed.” He teased.

Baekhyun didn’t have it in him to reject his decision, not when he was staring at him as if he expected a rejection. “Okay, don’t look.”

“No promises!” The other sung happily as he began to walk behind Baekhyun up towards the shoreline. “My pretty little soulmate, my eyes are stuck on you!”

Baekhyun's face was on fire, and he was glad his back was towards the flirtatious man so he didn’t see Baekhyun smiling.

~~~~~~~

“Don’t look, Jongin!” Baekhyun whined for what he thought to be the millionth time the past half hour he was cleaning up.

Jongin smirked and grabbed the smallers towel, sitting in the sand. “I keep telling you, sweetheart, my eyes can’t leave you. What if you… disappear?” He exclaimed dramatically.

Baekhyun threw his head back in a laugh and Jongin smiled fondly at the sight. “Jongin! I’m cold, I want to come out now!”

At his words the taller laughed, “Okay, babe, come on out, my eyes are sealed.”

Baekhyun nodded with a small pout, watching Jongin put the towel beside him and close his eyes, a smirk on his plump lips. “Please don’t.” He said softly, no joking in his tone.

Jongin frowned at his almost frightened tone and nodded, “No more teasing, I swear.”

Baekhyun chewed his lip and hurried up to the sandy bank, snatching his towel up.

“Here.” Jongin offered his towel with his eyes closed, “I can hear your teeth chattering, dry yourself and get dressed quickly, pretty.”

Baekhyun smiled softly and accepted the towel, using his for warmth and Jongin's to wipe off his skin fast and throw his clothes on.

Even though the clothes he had chosen were huge, the sweater specifically, he couldn’t remember the last time he was so warm.

“You can look.” Baekhyun said softly, sitting on the sand to pull his socks on.

Jongin blinked cutely at him and rested his elbow on his knee. “You look so much better, happier.”

“It’s been awhile since I’ve come across anywhere to bathe… or- or it wasn’t safe.” Baekhyun admitted.

Jongin hummed and smiled fondly as Baekhyun's finger tips disappeared under the orange sweater. “Let’s get you some food, yeah? It’s almost dinner time and you’re so small, Baekhyun.”

At the promise of food Baekhyun felt his stomach twisting up and a loud rumble. “Yeah… I’m pretty hungry.”

The other man laughed and stood up to offer him a hand, pulling Baekhyun's smaller form up easily before turning and gathering the dirty clothes from the ground. “We should just toss these, they don’t look like they could keep you even remotely warm, doll.”

“They don’t.” Baekhyun agreed softly, reaching out to take his dirty clothes from Jongin with an embarrassed expression and walking towards where he recalled Yifan going.

“No need to look so embarrassed, although you blush so cutely.” Jongin smirked and placed a hand on Baekhyun's back, “We’re soulmates, you don’t need to be embarrassed ever.”

“You keep saying that, but we’re still strangers.” Baekhyun whispered, then realized it sounded extremely rude and chewed his bottom lip, “I’m sorry, I just… I’m not good at talking to people.”

“That’s okay.” Jongin crooned softly, lifting up a branch so it wouldn’t hit them in the face, “But we’re not strangers, we’ll never be strangers, beautiful.”

Baekhyun didn’t have much to say, because he didn’t want to ruin how hopeful the other sounded, he never was good at hurting anyone’s feelings but his own.

And, he was certain if he saw Jongin ever looking sad or upset he would cry, and it wouldn’t be pretty at all. Curse the soulmate effect.

“You can toss those here.” Jongin broke the silence, his hand slowly moving from Baekhyun's mid back to around his waist. “This is where we put trash.” He explained.

Baekhyun nodded and tossed the dirty, ruined clothes into the garbage can.

“There you are, there you are.” A deep voice cooed, sending shivers up and down Baekhyun's spine as he looked up towards the man.

“Hello.” Baekhyun whispered quietly.

Chanyeol beamed, “Aish, and I thought you were beautiful with all the dirt, look at you, little moon.”

Baekhyun let out a small laugh at the nickname, trying to play off the pink on his cheeks as he heard people cooing at him.

“Hyung, give him some air.” Sehun drawled by the barbecue. “God, you guys are going to suffocate him.”

“Hyung! Baekhyunnie Hyung!”

Baekhyun suddenly had arms wrapping around his waist, “Hyung! Look!”

The elder laughed and ruffled Taeyongs hair, “Yeah? You cleaned up? I thought you’d play for awhile.”

“Mark and Lucas’s Mom said we could go swimming! So we did it for just a little but then it got too cold.” Taeyong explained excitedly.

“I bet you’re really tired now, huh? You want to eat and sleep?” Baekhyun asked, pressing his lips to Taeyongs forehead.

“I’m really tired, Hyung.” Taeyong admitted, “Let’s sleep a lot.”

“Oh, you will sweetheart.” Yifan cooed, making Baekhyun look around, slightly embarrassed he was caught coddling his brother so much in front of a ton of people. “I was about to ask about sleeping arrangements.”

“They should stay with us.” Chanyeol said immediately, earning a few hoots from the people seated around a fire that was slowly building up.

“That’s too much.” Yifan disagreed immediately, “Fuck, I need Jun to get back soon to control you, give him some space.”

“I hate space.” Chanyeol groaned and brushed the black inky curls from his eyes, “Come on, Hyung. You were like this with Xing Hyung too.”

“Yixing also is not Baekhyun. If anything Yixing is more like Jongin, don’t make me go get Kyungsoo, Chanyeol.” Yifan threatened.

Baekhyun had no idea what was happening, but he heard both Jongin and Chanyeol groan at the mention of this other person.

“Don’t you dare.” Jongin whined, a pout forming in his lips, “He’ll never leave Baekhyun alone, we’ll have to beg for time.”

“Hyung.” Taeyong murmured, pulling in his sweater towards the fire.

Baekhyun sniffed and wiped his running nose on his jacket before taking Taeyongs hand and moving towards the fire, smiling at a younger looking man as he scooted over on a log to make room for them.

“So you’re who Chanyeol was ranting about.” A man across from him stated, “How’d those two get you?”

“Oh great!” Baekhyun heard Chanyeol exclaim, “Now Jimin is flirting, thanks Yifan Hyung.”

“How the hell is that my fault?” Yifan gawked and turned around towards the RV door.

Baekhyun laughed softly, pulling Taeyongs fingers into his lap and holding his smaller hand in between both of his.

“Baek Hyung, today I played kickball.” His brother said as if Baekhyun should be extremely interested.

And, of course, Baekhyun always listened to Taeyong. “Really? Was it fun?”

“Really fun, I’m not very good yet, but that’s okay because… because Lucas said we can play together all the time.” Taeyong nodded and picked at the leg of his new jeans, they were a little big on him too, but kids grew like weeds.

“I’m glad, did you keep the knife I gave you with you? You never know when something will happen, and keep your hood on, you’re going to get cold.” Baekhyun fussed, reaching over to pull Taeyongs hood over his hair.

The younger boy nodded and patted his pocket, “Emergencies only, only use on the bad monsters, I know Hyung.”

Baekhyun beamed and wrapped his arm around Taeyongs shoulders.

Baekhyun's mouth started watering the longer he watched Sehun cooking at the barbecue, but just as he was about to force himself to look away, the RV door popped open and a man came out carrying a huge pot.

“Chanyeol, move your dumbass.” Fuck, Baekhyun had a feeling he knew who this man was just because his voice sent shivers down his spine. “I have hot ramen, you dumb fuck.”

“Soo.” Chanyeol growled, “I legitimately can’t stand you sometimes, you know that.”

“The feeling is mutual.” The man shrugged and Baekhyun was getting anxious the longer he only saw the man's figure or profile, but not his face. 

He blamed it on the sky darkening.

Jongin moved his way over to the log, taking a spot beside Baekhyun and squeezing right up against his side. “You guys hungry? I know you are, Baek.”

“Hyung, I’m super hungry.” Taeyong leaned over Baekhyun's lap, “My Hyung always says he’s not hungry, but he lies.”

Baekhyun gawked and slapped Taeyongs leg lightly, “Hey, shut your mouth.”

Taeyong only smiled cutely and snuggled to Baekhyun's side.

“I’ll get you food.” Jongin promised, “I’ll be right back, babe.” He addressed Baekhyun who flushed and turned to bury his nose into Taeyong’s fresh hoodie.

“That Hyung likes you.” The younger teased.

“Aish, give your brother a break, sweet pea.” Hyuna crooned across the fire, “You want to come see Jisungie? He’s one year and two months old, have you ever seen a baby before?”

Taeyong gasped dramatically and shook his head while Baekhyun mouthed a thank you to her.

She wiggled her brows at him and then sat the blinking baby up, “Come here, Taeyong, Noona will show you little Jisung.”

Baekhyun sighed in relief as Taeyong hopped off.

God, he loved his brother so much, but the problem with little kids was they had zero filter and Taeyong knew way too much than he should for his age; he had a lot to spill about Baekhyun.

“So, soulmates huh?”

Baekhyun raised his face from his palms and blinked up at the man standing in front of him.

He was so overwhelmingly handsome, but manly as he pushed a bowl of soup towards Baekhyun. “Eat up, can’t have my soulmate passing out on me…”

Baekhyun gulped and accepted the warm bowl with a sigh as his hands were warmed. “Thank you… Kyungsoo?”

“Correct.” The man looked vaguely impressed and his eyes also held excitement behind his small smile as he took a seat beside Baekhyun. “Baekhyun, huh? Heard Yifan mention you earlier, didn’t picture you though.”

“What’d you picture?” Baekhyun mumbled over his mouthful, stomach aching already at being filled.

Kyungsoo laughed, “Well, I was hoping you’d be healthier… but that can be fixed, it seems we got pretty lucky with your looks though, I’m very impressed, beautiful.”

Baekhyun laughed quietly into his spoon, pretending he didn’t feel people eyeing him from all around.

“You look like you could use some sleep.” Kyungsoo added softly, fingers tapping on his leg and if the man hadn’t seemed so confident Baekhyun would have considered it a nervous action.

“I could.” He agreed before feeling his stomach protesting on his previous mouthful of food.

Baekhyun knew he hadn’t eaten much in a while, but he had only eaten a few, maybe a little more than 1/4th of the bowl and his stomach was already cramping up.

“Tae.” He sat up and called his brother back, “Bug, come here.”

Kyungsoo reached out and grabbed his wrist softly when he saw Baekhyun holding the bowl out, “There’s plenty, you should eat it.”

“My stomach hurts.” Baekhyun explained before turning to Taeyong, “Here, finish this and if you’re hungry you go ask nicely, okay?”

“‘Kay!” Taeyong cried excitedly, scooting onto the log and accepting the bowl happily.

“You should eat more.” Chanyeol scolded softly, taking a seat on Kyungsoo's other side, “Jongin said you were very skinny, Baekhyun.”

Jongin whined as he walked over with a plate of meat, “Must you out me?”

Baekhyun laughed before Jongin was holding out the plate. “Here, at least one bite, please? Taeyong, you too.” Jongin added.

Taeyong wiggled so hard in his excitement at seeing meat that Baekhyun had to steady his bowl as his fingers reached out to snatch a chunk from the plate. “Bug, what do you say?” Baekhyun prompted.

“Thank you, Hyung.” Taeyong nodded and quickly went back to his food making Baekhyun roll his eyes fondly.

“You’re welcome.” Jongin smiled softly and waited for Baekhyun to grab a piece of meat from the plate. “Please, Baek.”

Baekhyun knew he wasn’t getting out of it so he accepted, grabbing the smallest piece of cut up meat and chewing on it quietly.

He had missed meat, but his stomach was already telling him he was full, and, unlike Taeyong, he wasn’t young enough to simply ignore the feeling without feeling sick.

So, he swallowed his mouth full and turned to the three men who were eating beside him. “I’m done.” He offered, holding the rest of the meat out for one of them to take.

This was the damn end of the world for god's sake, and it’s not like they had enough care for germs or for people to be picky with food. Food was food, and they were lucky to have whatever type of meat this was.

It was definitely something odd, maybe rabbit or even some kind of bird, probably from these very woods.

“Sweetheart, you should eat some more.” Chanyeol swooned, deep voice cutting Baekhyun down to the core.

“My stomach is hurting and I’m tired.” Baekhyun said quietly, licking the corner of his mouth.

“We’ll try again tomorrow.” Kyungsoo warned, grabbing the meat from his fingers, “Until you’re healthy.”

Baekhyun only sent him a smile and then turned to the weight settling at his side, a familiar warmth and quiet noises he recognized immediately. “You little brat.” He laughed and unwrapped Taeyongs fingers from the empty bowl.

Taeyong was already dead asleep, lips smacking with ramen juice on his mouth.

“Do you know where we’re sleeping?” Baekhyun asked aloud, placing the bowl on the grass and holding his brother up.

“Wherever you want.” Yifan called a bit away.

Baekhyun heard someone grabbing the bowl from the ground as he stood up, planning on scooping Taeyong up.

“We’ll get him.” Jongin offered immediately, making Baekhyun look over and saw Kyungsoo cleaning up their empty bowls and plates.

“He’s my brother, I got him.” Baekhyun said, more defensively than he meant.

“We know.” Jongin cooed, face never losing his reassuring smile, pretty orangish red reflecting off his face from the fire. “But you look like you might fall over, and we don’t want that.”

Baekhyun suddenly felt guilty and brushed Taeyongs hair from his forehead, “Okay.”

“I got him.” Chanyeol said softly, walking around Baekhyun and reaching over to pick up the child as if it was easy, Baekhyun was jealous and he didn’t know what of. “Where do you want him, gorgeous?”

Baekhyun weighed his options and decided he was too tired to care, and if fate decided so, then obviously they were trustworthy.

“Can we… I mean- you don’t have too, but uh- your tent? If you want- if that’s okay-“

“God.” Kyungsoo's nose scrunched up into an expression Baekhyun couldn't read, “You're fucking adorable, come with us.”

Baekhyun heard some people around the fire cooing at him and looked at the ground, tangling his fingers into his sweater nervously until he felt a warm hand wrapping around his wrist, pulling him along.

“We share a tent, right over here behind the RV.” Kyungsoo explained, “This one is the leader tent area, Yifan and his soulmate.” He pointed at one, then the other, “And Junmyeon, you’ll meet him eventually, him and his soulmate are out right now getting supplies.”

Baekhyun was barely following along, too tired, but he nodded anyways and watched Jongin unzip a large tent for Chanyeol.

“Sehun usually stays in the RV, but sometimes he stays in here too.” Kyungsoo added in a whisper as he pulled Baekhyun's wrist gently into the tent.

“I’ll put him over here.” Chanyeol said quietly, kneeling down and putting Taeyong against the tent wall and covering the little one in blankets.

“Thank you.” Baekhyun mumbled, rubbing his eyes.

They smiled and squinted at Baekhyun in the darkness. “Get some sleep, doll.” Jongin whispered, walking towards the tent door, “I have watch tonight, so I’ll see you in the morning.”

Baekhyun felt his face drop, “Oh, okay. Be… careful.”

“Always careful, sweetheart.” Jongin chirped, pressing his hand to Baekhyun's back for a second, looking like he was contemplating something before shaking his head and ducking out, zipping the tent tightly behind him.

“Come on.” Chanyeol murmured over the sounds of Kyungsoo dragging blankets around, “Let me tuck you in.” He said softly.

Baekhyun laughed and walked over after kicking his shoes off, moving to sit beside Taeyong, “I’m not a child, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol's heart raced as he heard his name fall from Baekhyun's mouth. “I know, but I want to make sure our soulmate sleeps well.”

He said it so softly, and almost nervously, Baekhyun could only smile and move the blankets back, pressing his back firmly into Taeyong as he faced Chanyeol laying down. “Okay.”

Baekhyun watched Chanyeol's smile transform wider as he stared down at him. “Okay.”

Then, Chanyeol started pulling the blankets tightly around both Baekhyun and Taeyong protectively.

“We’ll be right over here, sugar.” Kyungsoo commented, making Baekhyun's drooping eyes look at where he was spreading blankets out across the tent.

Baekhyun frowned, “You can… over here-if-if you want.”

“You want us to sleep with you guys?” The tallest asked fondly, his thumb brushing over Baekhyun's hair as he stopped his shuffling.

“It… gets cold.” Baekhyun mumbled in embarrassment.

“God, what are we going to do with you, you’re so sweet.” Kyungsoo cooed, pulling blankets over. “I’ll sleep by Taeyong.”

Baekhyun felt his smile widen at the man's words. They didn’t have to take care of Taeyong, but they were, everyone here was, and it felt like a weight falling from his shoulders.

“Goodnight.” Baekhyun whispered, eyes closing in exhaustion as he felt Chanyeol shuffling under the blanket beside him.

A warm hand pressed to his jaw, thumb running over his skin. “Goodnight, little moon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blushing Baekhyun is the cutest, it’s undeniable.


	3. Antibiotics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Learning.

Baekhyun almost had a panic attack when he woke up and didn’t feel a pressure pushing into his back.

He sat up quickly, immediately, looking for Taeyong, but didn’t see him at all, and his head was pounding, pulsing behind his eyes so hard he let a quiet whimper slip as he pressed a hand to his head, laying back down.

“Oh, sweetheart.” He heard someone moan across the room. “You’re up, it's almost time to start cooking dinner, you were that exhausted?”

Baekhyun chewed his dry mouth and sat up on his elbow, eyes squinting as he looked across at Kyungsoo. “Taeyong?”

“He’s fine, Baekhyun. He’s been playing all day, had breakfast and lunch, he’s fine, don’t worry.”

Baekhyun sighed in relief and laid back against the padded, blanketed tent floor. “I feel horrible.”

Kyungsoo frowned and strolled over, kneeling beside Baekhyun, “Our medic is out right now, but I know enough, move your fingers, sugar.” He cooed, moving Baekhyun's hand from his face.

“Fuck, you’re burning up, Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo cursed, “Have you felt sick a while?”

“My ears have been hurting.” Baekhyun mumbled with closed eyes, “My nose is running too. I thought- it was because I was cold.”

Kyungsoo frowned and ran his thumb over Baekhyun's forehead, “Does this hurt, if I press right here, does it hurt?” He asked, moving his fingertips over Baekhyun's sinuses, pressing gently around his nose.

“Little.” Baekhyun mumbled, “Behind my eyes, it hurts, Kyungsoo.”

“Oh, love.” The man sighed and ran his thumb across Baekhyun's cheek, “I’m going to go see if we have any antibiotics left, I think you have a sinus infection.”

Baekhyun whined aloud at that, eyes closed as he curled onto his side, “I feel like shit.”

“I’ll be back.” Kyungsoo promised, “I’ll be right back, okay? I’m going to send the others in so you won’t be alone.”

“‘Kay.” Baekhyun whispered, feeling Kyungsoo press his fingertips to his cheek once more before hearing the tent unzipping.

God, Baekhyun was an idiot. He should have paid more attention to himself, but he was so focused on Taeyong he didn’t even notice he had been feeling disgusting for weeks. He spurred the infection on without even realizing.

He heard footsteps rushing towards the tent and cracked his eyes open a little to see Chanyeol and Jongin kicking their shoes off.

“Hey, doll.” Jongin cooed, “I was about to come in here and take a nap, but we heard our soulmate didn’t feel good.”

Baekhyun tried to give a smile as Jongin pulled the blankets up behind him and pressed his thigh into Baekhyun's side. “Hi.”

“We got you water, pretty.” Chanyeol cooed, his hand cupping Baekhyun behind the neck to sit him up.

Baekhyun curled his fingers around Chanyeol's wrist as the taller held the water to his mouth. He could have done it himself, he wasn’t that sick, but it was nice to be treated so gently.

“Thank you.” Baekhyun croaked and laid back down as Chanyeol twisted the lid onto the water bottle. “Kyungsoo said he’s looking for medicine.”

“He is, don’t worry.” Jongin murmured, scooting closer, “He's going to go threaten the shit out of Yifan and dig into the emergency medicine.”

Baekhyun laughed softly, throwing his arm over his eyes to try and stop the throbbing. “Everyone is scared of him? He doesn’t seem so mean.”

“You’re his soulmate.” Chanyeol pointed out, his hand brushing Baekhyun's waved hair from his warm face. “Of course he’s going to be nice to you, everyone will be nice to you.”

“You don’t have to be nice to me, that’s okay.” Baekhyun replied, “I don’t want to owe anyone anything here.”

“You don’t owe us shit.” Chanyeol said immediately, a frown on his mouth as he met Jongin's equally confused eyes. “You never owe us anything ever, you or Taeyong.”

“Because we're soulmates.” Baekhyun finished with a quiet sigh making the two look at him confused.

“Partially.” Jongin admitted, “But also because it’s the right thing to do, doll.”

Baekhyun licked over his pink lips, glad he didn’t have to look at them at this second, “I’m sorry, I don’t… I don’t know what ideas you guys have about soulmates or about me… but, but I don’t know how to love- at least, not- not unless it’s Taeyong, like family.”

Chanyeol and Jongin felt their hearts drop in disappointment, but Baekhyun just sounded so apologetic, they weren’t mad at him- but they wondered why he thought this.

“Then we will teach you, sugar.” Kyungsoo zipped the tent behind him and Baekhyun heard something rattling as he came closer and blankets rustled as Kyungsoo took a seat at his feet. “We can teach you, that’s okay. We’re already enamored with you, and if it takes you a while that’s fine, we have time.”

“As long as we don’t get chomped up.” Jongin pointed out.

Baekhyun found himself frowning at that thought. “Okay.”

“We’re not asking you for anything right now, Baekhyun. Just your sweet self, that’s easy right?” Chanyeol prompted.

“I’ll try.” Baekhyun murmured. “I’m not good… at people things… relationships.”

“Then we’ll work on that too.” Kyungsoo said immediately, “Now, I got you some penicillin, take one every twelve hours for a week, and tomorrow when you wake up you’ll feel so much better.”

“We’ll be on you all week to take them if you forget.” Jongin teased as Baekhyun was sat up to take a pill.

“There you go, Baekhyun. Now you’ll want to sleep all day, we’ll bring you dinner in a little.” Kyungsoo explained, grabbing Baekhyun's hand and pushing the sweater off his knuckles, “We’ll watch Taeyong well, Hyuna is already on him.”

Baekhyun laughed softly and nodded tiredly, “Okay, thank you.”

“Of course.” Kyungsoo pressed a soft kiss to Baekhyun's palm before dropping it and patting his ankle, “Jongin needs to sleep too, have a good nap.”

Baekhyun nodded and turned to lay on his side, letting a small surprised noise slip as Jongin threw an around over the blanket and around his waist.

~~~~~~~~

Baekhyun did feel better after taking the medicine, but he still felt sick, it was odd.

His eyes had stopped pounding when he woke up from his nap, but his head was now groggy and foggy, like he was lethargic.

“Baek, dinner.” Jongin placed a hand to his soulmate's jaw and rubbed his thumb gently over the soft skin, “Time to eat, sweetheart.”

“Not hungry.” Baekhyun mumbled, turning his head into Jongin's hand more.

“You need to eat, tiny dove, you’re going to get nauseous if you don’t.” Kyungsoo said softly, smiling at how Jongin lit up when Baekhyun turned his way.

“Where’s Chanyeol?” Baekhyun sighed and pulled himself to sit up, Jongin's hand moving down the back of his neck softly.

Kyungsoo smiled and passed him the plate in his hand, “He's playing with Taeyong, they're like best friends suddenly. Probably because they both act the same age.”

Baekhyun laughed quietly and began going through the food. “I’m glad.”

The two smiled and Jongin pressed his cheek into Baekhyun's shoulder. “You don’t need to worry about him, we’ll take care of him.” Jongin muttered softly.

“I’m always worried about him,” Baekhyun turned to look at Jongin but quickly looked away when he realized how close together their faces were, cheeks flushing prettily as he went back to his food. “I raised him, of course I worry, especially… now.”

“Ten years is quite a bit, Yifan told everyone your name and age this morning. I’m curious about you and Taeyong.” Kyungsoo nodded, “But… you don’t need to feel obligated to tell us anything.” He added when he saw Baekhyun's eyes shake.

“Maybe…” Baekhyun chewed his cheek and moved the plate off his lap, “Maybe… later, not now…”

“Of course, doll.” Jongin frowned and pulled the pillow from behind Baekhyun's back and motioned for him to lay back down, “We can tell you about us though, If you want.”

Baekhyun smiled shyly as Jongin sat back on his elbow and played with the hair on the crown of his head, “If you want to tell me.”

“I was a kindergarten teacher.” Kyungsoo began, running his hand over Baekhyun's leg through the blanket, “Well, technically I was an assistant, not that it really matters anymore.”

Baekhyun hummed tiredly, “How old are you guys?”

“You should call us Hyung, love.” Jongin mumbled with a sly smile when Baekhyun's eyes flicked to look up at him, “Twenty three, Kyungsoo Hyung is twenty four, Yeol Hyung is twenty six.”

The youngest looked up in surprise, “Really?”

Kyungsoo laughed and brushed a thumb over Baekhyun's cheek, “So surprised? You’re our baby now.”

Baekhyun let out a small embarrassed noise and pulled the blankets up to his chin.

“Fuck.” Jongin mumbled, “If you keep acting like this my heart my stop.”

“Stop being cheesy.” The younger whispered, muffled through the blanket as he pulled it up more to hide his face.

“Shit, we’re going to take such good care of you.” Kyungsoo cooed softly, standing up. “Get some sleep, baby.”

And Baekhyun squealed softly when Jongin pulled him towards his chest.

~~~~~~~~

Baekhyun woke up and rubbed his eyes. He smacked his lips quietly and squinted in the darkness.

He smiled despite wanting to freak out as he noticed Jongin's tight fingers holding his sweater in his sleep, his other arm draped over Baekhyun's hip and touching Taeyongs little shoulder.

Baekhyun's throat was screaming for water. He slowly sat up, turning to pet Taeyongs hair for a moment before uncurling Jongin's hand from his shirt.

Carefully, he stepped over Kyungsoo and Taeyong, praying not to accidentally step on them in the darkness.

He saw a light blinking by the tent door and he made it over almost silently, reaching down to pick up the electronic watch. It read 3:46 AM.

Baekhyun hoped he wouldn’t wake anyone up going out so late as he slipped on his shoes. But he had slept more than all day, he didn’t think he could sleep any longer.

He stepped out and was surprised lights were on out here, a bunch of spotlights lit up around the main area of camp.

Baekhyun wrapped his arms around himself, the cold darkness making his arms shake as he moved towards the supply table and looked for water.

He wrapped his hands around a mini, partially drank water bottle when he noticed a light pointed near him and looked up curiously.

Chanyeol waved with a small smile, walking on top of the RV, a flashlight in his hand, “Good morning.” He teased.

Baekhyun laughed quietly, running a hand through his hair self consciously. “Hi.”

“Come up here, I haven’t seen you all day.” The elder requested gently, pointing to a ladder on the side of the RV.

The younger chewed his bottom lip as he held the water in one hand, using the other to climb up.

“There we go, gorgeous.” Chanyeol murmured, reaching down to pull Baekhyun up when he was within reach.

Baekhyun felt his blush crawling down his neck at the man's strength, almost as if Chanyeol was purposely showing off as he carried him to a folding chair and sat him in his lap.

“You look better.” The elder commented, a fond look in his eyes as he watched Baekhyun avoid his gaze shyly, fiddling with the cap of the water bottle.

“... I feel better, thank you.” The smaller mumbled, chewing the corner of his lip when he met Chanyeol's lingering eyes.

Chanyeol hummed and pulled the blanket resting over the back of the chair around Baekhyun's shoulders. “I’m happy.”

Baekhyun would usually feel his skin crawling if people so much as looked at him with anything akin to interest, but he supposed this was part of these men being his soulmates, because he only felt overwhelmingly warm as Chanyeol wrapped a large hand around his side through the blanket.

Chanyeol leaned closer, resting his chin on Baekhyun's shoulder with a soft smile, “I’ve been waiting so long for you, little moon.”

“... yeah?” The smaller prompted, looking down at his fingers, trying to hide his face.

“Yeah, and you’re beautiful, I’m proud.”

“Hyung…” Baekhyun licked his mouth and looked up at Chanyeol apologetically. “I… I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to call me that.” Chanyeol said immediately, “We’re… we’re soulmates, you can call me Chanyeol, you can call me babe, whatever you want, sweetheart. And you have no reason to feel sorry, why are you sorry?”

Baekhyun gulped at the feeling of the larger man's warm breath fanning his cheek with every word. “I… I- I need time, it’s not fair.”

Chanyeol frowned and grabbed Baekhyun's chin gently, “Hey, you have no reason to apologize.”

“I’m sorry.” The smaller responded, eyes looking back and forth around Chanyeol's face.

“Who hurt you, my baby?” Chanyeol suddenly muttered, his thumb running close to Baekhyun's bottom lip, “We would never hurt you.”

Baekhyun flinched slightly and pulled his face from Chanyeol's fingers to rest his shoulder on Chanyeol's chest for warmth, “Don’t want to talk about it. Please.”

“Are we making you uncomfortable?” The elder whispered softly, his hand on Baekhyun's side running up and down through the blanket, “Soulmates… they usually are attached immediately, and if you need time that’s okay, but you need to let us know if you’re uncomfortable- if we’re being too much.”

“You’re not.” Baekhyun denied immediately looking off at the dark shadows of trees, “I mean- I don’t- just you guys… don’t- i don’t want anyone so close to me but you guys.”

Chanyeol laughed quietly and gently pulled Baekhyun's head beneath his chin, “We don’t want that either, baby, if you want nobody will touch you.”

“I want that.” The younger agreed immediately, closing his eyes.

“Then that’s what you get, I’ll protect you, sweetheart.”

Baekhyun felt his mouth upturn and he dropped the water bottle onto his lap to curl both fingers into Chanyeol's shirt.

“You can sleep some more, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol said softly, pressing his mouth to Baekhyun's head for a moment.

“Tell me a story… about you… what’d you- what’d you do before this?” The younger asked with a tired smile, pulling the blanket up his shoulder more.

Chanyeol beamed, rocking him as if a child, “I was a fitness trainer, can you tell? I also was very good at archery, so usually they send us hunting because Kyungsoo is decent too.”

“I can tell.” Baekhyun answered shyly, literally pressed against the larger man’s muscles. There was no way he hadn’t noticed them honestly.

“You like it.” Chanyeol teased, “Don’t worry, soulmate, I’m yours.”

Baekhyun whined aloud at the teasing, cheeks pinkening, so it was good it was very dark out and the only light on top the RV was a lantern sitting close to the ladder.

~~~~~~~

“Sunscreen, Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo scolded, walking up to Baekhyun during breakfast. “I’ve been telling you the past few days, antibiotics makes your skin more sensitive, you’ll get a burn easier.”

Baekhyun sighed and pouted up at the man, a partially eaten packaged muffin in his hand, “I hate it, Soo.”

Luckily, Baekhyun was learning fast how to get his way and becoming less nervous to talk to anyone here.

So far all of the people at camp had been very welcoming, many of them had asked if he was alright the following morning of him taking antibiotics, it was nice to be the one being looked after.

“You just don’t want to get your hands dirty.” Jongin called out, “Don’t worry, Hyung will do it for you, love!”

Well, for the most part he had been getting less nervous around people, but not when they were as blatant and flirtatious as his three soulmates.

“I will do it.” Kyungsoo argued, “I’m already doing it, Jongin.”

“Fine.” Jongin pouted softly and moved towards the log and adjusted Baekhyun's jacket- really Chanyeol's jacket- over his narrow shoulders. “I get to put it on Taeyongie then!”

“Hyung!” Taeyong whined, chocolate on his face from this morning's breakfast which consisted of packaged muffins. “Why do I need it?”

“You listen to your Hyungs.” Baekhyun scolded, looking up at Kyungsoo who began to rub sunscreen onto his face.

“Because you’re going to go want to play soon, and even though it doesn’t look sunny the sun can still get you.” Jongin explained before smiling and throwing an arm around Taeyongs shoulders, “And Hyung wants to see you!”

Baekhyun heard Taeyongs huff of annoyance, but knew the kid was overwhelmingly happy with the attention.


	4. Innocence

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning!!!!!
> 
> This chapter and some scenes in the story may be triggering.... check the tags.

The rain hadn’t let up since last night.

Baekhyun was pretty anxious as he had agreed for Taeyong to stay the night in Mark and Lucas’s tent, the first time in years he had slept without his little brother.

And now it was storming out, not that Taeyong cared, he loved storms, he slept like a baby when it rained.

But Baekhyun hated lightning, he hated loud noises, he hated the cold.

He hated storms. They made him feel trapped and weak, feelings he never wanted to reimagine.

“You’re shaking.” Jongin commented loudly, breaking Baekhyun from his thoughts.

“What?” Baekhyun heard Kyungsoo mumble from his spot across the tent, holding the material shut as it was unzipped, waiting for Chanyeol to come back with snacks and water since they’d likely be hiding in here all day and night again.

“Baekhyun.” Jongin called back to Kyungsoo, “He's shaking.”

“Oh, baby. Just a minute, okay? I see Yeol checking the last group of tents.” The elder said softly.

Baekhyun nodded and looked at Jongin as he wrapped blankets tightly around the younger. “Don’t worry, you’re safe, doll face.” Jongin cooed, cupping the back of Baekhyun's head and pressing a soft kiss to his temple.

The younger didn’t even have it in him to be embarrassed about how quick he wiggled closer, practically in Jongin's lap, fingers pulling out of the blanket to latch onto Jongin's sweatpants.

“Finally, Hyung.” Kyungsoo muttered, Baekhyun could hear the wind fighting against the tent material as it was opened.

“Sorry, I wanted to make sure Taeyong was okay, he looked like he was having fun, Yifan is with them.” Chanyeol said, dripping water onto the entranceway of the tent.

Baekhyun gawked at the water literally pouring off the others face and clothes, “You're going to get sick.”

“I’m okay, baby, I brought us snacks and a flashlight.” Chanyeol ignored the worry in the other's voice.

Baekhyun frowned and pulled back the corner of the blankets and reluctantly shimmied out from beneath the warmth to stand up, Chanyeol's zipped jacket falling to mid thigh on his small form, covering the thin pajama pants he snatched to be more comfortable.

“Chanyeol.” He whispered softly, walking over towards the entrance where Kyungsoo was grabbing the snacks and waters from Chanyeol. “Hyung… you’re going to get sick.” He repeated.

Chanyeol blinked down at him, wiping water out of his eyes, “Don't worry, my love.”

Baekhyun felt his ears burn as he wrapped a hand around Chanyeol's coat zipper and began to pull it down, “Take… your wet clothes off.”

“You seducing me?” Chanyeol laughed in shock as Baekhyun small fingers unclasped the zipper of the soaking jacket.

“No.” Baekhyun said immediately, wide eyed. “No, I swear.”

“He's teasing you, beautiful.” Kyungsoo said softly, running a hand over the back of Baekhyun's neck before carrying the snacks and waters over to Jongin and the huge pile of blankets.

“You ever want a show though, you let me know, doll.” Jongin chirped, not able to see Baekhyun's reaction as he made grabby hands for a water as Kyungsoo sat next to him.

“Hey.” Chanyeol sounded upset as his freezing fingers cupped Baekhyun's jaw, “You know we’re only kidding, yeah? We’re joking.”

Baekhyun nodded and licked his mouth anxiously, “I know, it’s okay.”

Chanyeol smiled and pressed a barely there kiss to Baekhyun's button nose and pulled his coat off, tossing the wet material by the door before reaching for his shirt, “Would you be uncomfortable?” He motioned to his wet sweatpants and shirt.

Baekhyun shook his head and took a step back, arms holding his own jacket tight to his chest, “No- go… yes, you can... you might get sick… I’m not- I’m not a child.”

“You’re our baby though.” Kyungsoo called gently, a confused looked playing on his face, “We know, you’re a very beautiful adult, our pretty soulmate, baby.”

“Okay.” Baekhyun flushed and scratched his cheek when he noticed Chanyeol taking off his sweatpants. “I just… I’m not innocent you know…”

“I’m just going to act like I don’t understand what you’re implying.” Chanyeol growled, grabbing Baekhyun's fingers, pulling him towards the blankets. “We definitely don’t want to hear that you’ve had sex before.”

“I haven’t had sex.” Baekhyun denied, smiling slightly as Chanyeol sat down and pulled Baekhyun to rest between his legs, in the middle of all three of them.

Chanyeol's chest was warm despite being outside in the cold as he laid back and pulled Baekhyun to rest against his muscular front.

“So you're a virgin.” Jongin said softly, reaching over to pull the blanket up to Baekhyun's chin, “That’s okay too.”

Baekhyun twisted his mouth, “Not a virgin.”

The three got deathly silent, the only sounds were the storm outside knocking branches around, thunder and lightning striking in the distance.

But all Baekhyun heard was the beating of his own chest.

“Baekhyun….” Chanyeol whispered softly, pressing his cheek to Baekhyun's jacket covered shoulder. “You don’t have to tell us anything.”

“You don’t want to know anyways.” Baekhyun said under his breath, pulling his hands from the blankets to pick at them almost as if angry.

The three elder boys frowned at him and Kyungsoo reached out to grab his fingers when he looked like he might start hurting himself. “Hey, someone did something bad to you?”

Baekhyun felt his eyes watering slightly as he glanced up and gave a minuscule nod.

“Oh, baby, don’t cry. You don’t need to tell us, just don’t cry.” Kyungsoo requested, reaching out to wipe the corner of Baekhyun's eye with a taking sound.

“Not… I’m not crying because I’m sad.” He responded with a small sniff, bringing his sleeve up to his eye. “I’m embarrassed.”

Chanyeol tightened his hold on Baekhyun and saw Jongin lay a soft hand on his blanketed knee. “You have no reason to be embarrassed.” Jongin said immediately, “Our sweet little soulmate doesn’t ever need to be embarrassed, it’s just us baby, we’d never judge you.”

Baekhyun felt himself word vomiting before he could even realize. “I’m disgusting.” His mouth curled up and he felt angry tears falling as he glared at his hands. “I’m dirty and you guys don’t deserve to put up with it.”

“You’re beautiful.” Chanyeol argued immediately, his hands under the blanket wrapping around Baekhyun's narrow waist. “You’re a beautiful person, the past week and a half have been nothing but amazing for us, baby. You’re shy, you’re quiet, and we love it, there’s nothing we have seen that we didn’t like.”

“You-you don't understand.” Baekhyun cried, his hands disappearing under his sleeves and rubbing his eyes harshly. “It- it isn’t- I’m still disgusting and I hate myself.”

His soulmate's faces dropped and Kyungsoo reached up to grab his wrist gently, pulling it away from his reddening eyes. “Then we will teach you otherwise.”

“It’s not possible.” Baekhyun sobbed, “I-I’ve tried, I've tried and the memories- they- they still are there, he's still there.”

“Oh, doll. Come here, come here.” Jongin muttered frantically, reaching out to pull Baekhyun from between Chanyeol's legs to straddle his lap. Baekhyun laid his face in the crook of Jongin's neck and wrapped his legs around Jongin's hips tightly, as if afraid he was going to let him go.

Chanyeol turned and ran a large hand up and down Baekhyun's spine, “We’ll take care of you, Baekhyun. I will tell you this everyday, everyday, baby.”

“When- when I was twelve, my mom… my mom died giving birth to Taeyong-“

“You don’t need to tell us, just breathe.” Kyungsoo interrupted, “You need to breathe.”

Baekhyun took a deep breath into Jongin's neck, pressing his nose to his soulmates shoulder for a second, Chanyeol's hand running over his back comfortingly.

“Okay, you’re doing good, sweetheart.” Kyungsoo cooed softly, moving to sit on Jongin's other side and peering over the younger shoulder, “That’s good, beautiful. You’re okay, you’re with us and nothing will hurt you.”

Baekhyun pressed his cheek to Jongin's shoulder as he looked over at Kyungsoo, watery eyes making Kyungsoo frown and brush his hair away from his forehead.

“My dad blamed me, I-I don't know why.” The youngest whispered, Jongin's hands pulled his thighs closer to him. “It wasn’t that bad, at first. I had to take care of Tae, and that was my only responsibility. Then, I started… I had to start skipping school and the police showed up for truancy.” Baekhyun chewed his lip and saw Chanyeol leaning around Jongin to look at him too, the pressure wasn’t that bad though, they didn’t look like they were searching for anything, only listening.

“He got so mad, he… he was so mad, but he wasn’t taking care of Taeyong I was.” He scoffed and felt his face contort into anger, “He only worked and then came home and ignored us, it was better when it was just me and Taeyong.

And then… he just, he just called me in one night. He never hit me- he only yelled at me a lot, but… but I didn’t understand back then. I didn’t understand a lot… I was only maybe fourteen when it first h-happened, because I can remember thinking… what if Taeyong starts crying and I can’t go help him.”

“What happened, sweet pea?” Kyungsoo whispered even though it was fairly obvious, leaning over to press a warm hand to Baekhyun's face.

Baekhyun closed his eyes and turned his face away, pressing his cheek into Jongin's ear. “He touched me… he didn’t, he didn’t rape me yet, but he… the first time is always the worst… I can remember everything. I didn’t understand, but I-I didn’t cry or anything because I deserved it-“

“You don’t deserve that shit.” Jongin's voice held anger, but it was more of a whisper, “Nobody deserves that, Baekhyun. You don’t deserve that, Taeyong doesn’t deserve tha-“

“He never touched Taeyong.” Baekhyun growled, sitting back to look at them with tears dripping off his chin, “He never, never touched Taeyong. I was with Taeyong all the time for… the whole time, always. Taeyong was never alone with him. And if I got called away… well, it’s okay because-because at least Taeyong was fine and he-he didn’t know any better, he still doesn’t know any better.”

“It’s not okay.” Kyungsoo added softly, “Baekhyun, that's not okay. You can be scared, and you can be upset, but that doesn’t make anything that happened to you okay.”

“Of course it’s not okay, but I can pretend!” The youngest was suddenly glad it was storming so badly out as he sat back on Jongin's thighs, “I can't talk to people, I can’t- I can’t even look many people in the eyes- what if they can tell? What if they’re disgusted? I had to, I had to- I didn’t… I didn’t have a choice!”

Jongin made a soft shushing noise as he grabbed Baekhyun's fingers, pushing his sleeve from his palm, “Okay. Okay, we believe you, and we’re not disgusted, baby. It wasn’t your fault, it’s still not your fault.”

Baekhyun let out a strangled noise from his throat, “I can’t- I can never have norm-al relationships now. People always, always want something.

He-he first raped me on my sixteenth birthday… an-and the next day at school, this kid- he-he asked me on a date and I-I threw up all over the floor and ran, the thought of… of… are relationships like this? Is that ho-w things should work? I didn’t … I didn’t even know what- what people wanted. He said so many… I’ve heard so many things- and they don’t add up, nothing adds up.”

“Stop, stop it, please.” Kyungsoo requested, pulling Baekhyun's fingers out of his hair, “You don't have to keep talking, baby.”

Baekhyun shook his head immediately, looking wide eyed and slightly confused when he noticed Chanyeol wiping his own eyes. “I haven’t, I never told anyone- ever. Usually… usually I throw up even just, just thinking about telling people, but- I have the courage right now, let me, please, let me and you can-you can be disgusted and you can… call me all kind of names, but at least, at least I can get it off my chest.”

Jongin sighed and leaned forward to rezip Baekhyun's jacket up, as if comforting himself. “Yo-u… you can do what you want, but you don’t need to tell us everything at once. We’re soulmates, we’re not going anywhere.”

“He told me… I’d never get a soulmate, that he was the only- the only one that would love me, I think-I think that was one of the only times I cried.” Baekhyun admitted, shaking hands moving to pull his hood over his head to obscure their view of his face. “That time… I think, I remember that he looked, he looked guilty and let me leave early, but he never- he didn’t take it back. It scared me, he-uh- he didn’t touch me for… for a while after and I got worried, thought he’d go for Taeyong.. so I-I… you’re going to be disgusted, oh god, I’m going to puke.” He cried and scooted off of Jongin to pull blankets to his lap as if protecting himself as he pushed himself against the cold tent wall, listening to lightning outside.

“Hey, hey, we only want to love you.” Chanyeol cried quietly, his voice not showing the tears on his face. “You did what you thought was right, we know that, and that’s okay.”

Baekhyun's expression changed into a pained one as he buried his face into his knees. “He was my dad… he was my dad, that’s disgusting, it’s immoral.”

“What he did to you is immoral, Baekhyun.” Jongin whispered, sitting up on his knees to push more blankets towards him because if that’s what made him more comfortable, then he would happily freeze. “And not fighting back, not telling anyone, that doesn’t make it your fault. He was an adult, he knew what he was doing, you didn’t- you didn’t know anything other than that you wanted to protect Taeyong, and that’s not wrong, that’s… you’re a good brother, Baek.”

“Does it… does it could as sex if I asked him to?” Baekhyun's words muffled through his pile of blankets. “I was scared… Taeyong, he-he said Dad tried to talk to him and gave him a toy, and… he never, ever talked to Taeyong. Dad would give him things, I think… because he knew it made me feel better, but.. he didn’t talk to him unless he had a reason. So I-I went and I… I asked him to just… just because if he gave Taeyong something… then, then I owed him something in exchange and… then it would make things equal-“

“How would things be equal if he… he molested you many times, he raped you… I assume r-repeatedly, Baekhyun. He manipulated you, there is no other reason for his actions other than that he was sick, and he was disgusting. That’s not how things work, sometimes you do things and want nothing in exchange.” Kyungsoo tried to explain gently, fingers white around his pajama pants.

“No.” Baekhyun denied, “You always do things because you want something in exchange. For seven years… that’s what happened, if I needed school books- I- I knew what to do, if Taeyong needed something I didn’t ask for it, I just need to be quiet and listen because I’m filthy and- and it always worked- I didn’t get hit, I didn’t get that hurt, so it was okay because Taeyong got what he needed, I got what I needed and that’s it… that’s it.”

Jongin sat up, mouth twisted in anger not at Baekhyun, never his soulmate, “You don’t think you’re hurt now? Just looking at you I can tell you’re hurting Baekhyun. Just because you didn’t get physically hurt doesn’t mean you’re not hurt. You were sexually abused for… seven years you said…. You said you couldn’t talk to people, you stutter sometimes, you flinch back from people when they get too close, you don’t like asking for things, and… you said you didn’t know how to love us.

This is not even two weeks worth of observations and you don’t think you’re hurt? Fuck, I feel like we’re even more upset than you are right now because you don’t even… you don’t know that it was wrong.”

“It’s common in abuse victims.” Kyungsoo growled, sending Jongin a warning look, “Calm down, you’re scaring him.”

“I am hurting.” Baekhyun muttered softly, “I have nightmares, the sounds of… of breathing or even certain tones, sometimes even just… just colors will make me panic, but you don’t understand. He, he still took care of us, he said… he used to tell me he loved me… everytime. And… he was my Dad, how could I… how could I not want to… to make sure he wasn’t upset, because he was the one in control, even when… when I was above age I couldn’t- I didn’t have control, he still had Taeyong, so I stayed. And I-I hate myself so much, and I’m disgusted, but I-I don’t regret anything because my brother is fine and he’s pure, innocent, he’s beautiful and I can-I can never be any of that.”

Chanyeol stood to his feet, a blanket wrapped around his nearly naked form as he walked over to the smaller, “You’re not mad? You’re not upset any of this happened to you? Fuck, Baekhyun, I’m so… I’m so mad right now that this happened to you; because you’re so sweet, you’re so kind, and we… we wouldn’t have wanted that to happen to anyone, much less our soulmate. God, I’m… I’m livid, Baekhyun.”

“I didn’t think I was mad.” Baekhyun admitted, looking up slowly at the sound of footsteps. “When I was younger, I didn’t really know what was going on, it was just… stray touches and a voice in my head telling me that this wasn’t how things were supposed to be. But… I think once… once I really, I really understood and it was happening… so, so often I realized I was tainted, that I-I was slowly ruining… everything.” He licked his lip and leaned his head back against the polyester tent.

“In high school, people talk about… sex, and they talk about dating, finding soulmates, and they’re explicit. And this one time… I remember listening to a girl in my class and she mentioned that, that she felt… aroused during sex and I was so confused.” He laughed to himself and felt his ears turning red at the intense stares he felt from his soulmates, “I didn’t… I honestly had no idea what it was to-to like sex, or to… like a persons touch. And I remember I was about… seventeen? I think, when I really learned about things, I didn’t- I didn’t understand as much as I thought I did.

But, I went home and cried that day… and when, when I was told to go with him, I didn’t. And he never came after me when I didn’t show up, he never mentioned it, but I think… I think he knew I realized, because I remember I looked at him at breakfast the next morning and I just… I remember seeing him grabbing his work suitcase, and… I said, ‘I hope you know that I can’t look at you anymore.’ And then he looked like he was going to cry but he only nodded and said, ‘I can’t look at you anymore either.’ And I agreed.”

Baekhyun laughed watery and shook his head, “I was mad after that, I remember once, when… when- I-I tried to fight one time, and I think it’s the only time I really… I really got in trouble with him, but I told him that I… I wished he would stop, would leave me… would stop doing this to me because… because I couldn’t look at myself anymore. I sobbed, and I cried, and I begged, just this one time and I told him- I told him that I couldn’t keep doing this, that I was in pain, and -it shouldn’t be this way- that- that I wouldn’t tell anyone if he would just stop.

He didn’t stop though, I think it made him more upset. It really, it really hurt that time, I think… I think I remembered him crying too, but that didn’t make me feel any better. I told him… when I was walking out later, that… that I wanted to die, and that it was his fault, and he only told me… he told me if I did that Taeyong was still here, and that Taeyong would be upset. It wasn’t.. it wasn’t really a threat, he didn’t usually say threatening things, usually just a few insults or-or… but… but that’s what I took it as.”

“Baekhyun…” Kyungsoo mustered up, “I want to hold you, can I hold you?”

“I don’t want you to treat me… like I’m fragile, I’m not… I’m not a child, I want you to treat me normally.” Baekhyun mumbled, “You guys don’t need to… I don’t, I don’t feel gross when you touch me, I think… I think it calms me down, I think I feel better.”

Kyungsoo accepted the admission with a small smile, urging Baekhyun into his arms. Pulling the youngest sideways on his lap, Kyungsoo pressed his lips to his temple gently. “You don’t need to tell us anything else right now, honestly… I don’t think we can handle anymore, but…. if you ever, you ever want to say anything you tell us. It doesn’t matter if we’re talking to someone, if we’re busy, you pull us to the side immediately and you say whatever you want.”

“You might… you might think I’m disgusting.” Baekhyun whispered.

“Never.” Jongin murmured, fixing the blankets back down into a bed. “Never, you could never say anything to make us feel like that. You tell us whatever it is you want to say and that’s it, we won’t treat you differently, we won’t stop annoying the shit out of you.”

Baekhyun let a small laugh slip at that.

“See, you feel better, don’t you?” Chanyeol smiled and reached over to press a kiss to Baekhyun's hair, “My baby, you finally have people to tell, you look like you feel better.”

“I do.” Baekhyun agreed with a sigh. “Can we take a nap then?”

“Of course, sweet pea.” Kyungsoo smiled and pressed a daring kiss to Baekhyun's cheekbone, “Of course, and we’ll see how the weather is later, maybe we can take Taeyong hunting.”

“Maybe.” Baekhyun mumbled tired, “Taeyong… might cry.”

And the three snorted in agreement.


	5. Deserving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe Baekhyun could learn as they went.

The storm was still bad.

It still hadn’t let up, and even the short nap the group had taken didn’t seem to make time go faster.

Not that it went very fast when there was nothing to really do anyways.

A downside to the apocalypse, nothing to do.

At least Chanyeol's efforts had gotten them food because Baekhyun actually had an appetite lately, and he was slowly building up some fat.

So now Baekhyun was sitting up, constantly pushing the long sleeves of the jacket back as he dug into his bag of chips.

They hadn’t really been talking that much, just a few words back and forth, or small flirty comments, but Baekhyun could feel their gazes burning into him much more than normal, and felt their fingers linger longer than he recalled them cautiously doing before.

He didn’t really mind the extra touches or looks, at least when it was from them only. He hadn’t been dramatic when he said he felt sick to his stomach when men looked at him too long or they gave him interested smiles, it shook him up like his stomach was in a blender.

“Aish, our little soulmate is so small.” Jongin teased, reaching across for Baekhyun's arms to roll up his sleeves.

Baekhyun let his lips pout slightly, “This is Chanyeol's jacket, it’s not my fault he's a giant.”

“I’m taking that as a compliment, I could throw you over my shoulder easily, you want to try?” Chanyeol joked, wiggling his brows flirtatiously.

Baekhyun laughed quietly and looked down at his chips with blushing cheeks, letting Jongin roll up his other sleeve, his tanned fingers lingering on his wrist moments longer than he needed.

“The size differences are endearing.” Kyungsoo commented, “Even though me and you are almost the same height, I can still carry you around, baby. We need to keep you well fed.”

Baekhyun didn’t doubt his claim at all. Beneath his long sleeves and fitted turtlenecks, he swore he could picture muscles hidden beneath Kyungsoo's clothes, not to mention that the man screamed that he was no nonsense, straight to the point and strong. Maybe people were scared of him for a reason.

“I’m more hungry these days.” The youngest admitted, an embarrassed look on his face as he processed his next words, “Because my… my Hyungs are taking care of me.” He flirted lamely, he had seen people do it… but it never really appealed to him.

“You’re so cute, doll.” Jongin smiled and sat up on his knees to press a kiss to Baekhyun's temple, “You need help flirting? I flirt with you all the time, baby. You don’t notice my efforts?” He pouted playfully.

Baekhyun scrunched his pink nose up, embarrassed, “I’m not good at it, you’re good at it.”

“I think you’re just fine, sweetheart. You could insult me and it would sound like a compliment from your pretty little mouth.” Chanyeol added with a sly grin when Baekhyun's face turned magenta.

“This isn’t fair.” The youngest whined, rolling up his chips. “I’m not… I’m not good at this, don’t… don't be so good at it.”

Kyungsoo laughed beside him, fixing the bed head that was standing up on Baekhyun's temple reluctantly. He wanted to leave it because Baekhyun looked adorable puffy eyed and curls in every direction, but it gave him an excuse to touch him. “You never tried flirting with people before? We… understand now, but you’re so pretty, people didn’t ask you out very much?”

“Um.” Baekhyun did this cute expression where he widened his eyes and tilted his head when he thought about something, like a puppy, and it made his soulmates preen. “I think… a few times, yes. But I didn’t… I didn’t really like… to talk to people or… I had one friend though.”

“Yeah? A good friend?” Jongin mumbled on his package of cheese itz.

“His name was Luhan, he… he was a good person, I remember in school he always told people to leave me alone, he said it was because people were interested in me, but I-I didn’t like it. Luhan never asked, and I never said anything… but I think- I think to a certain degree he knew.” Baekhyun admitted quietly.

“Oh, I’m sure lots of people wanted to take you on a date, but you’re our little moon now, hm? So pretty, so sweet. You don’t need to worry about anyone looking at you but us, Kyungsoo has a scary glare.” Chanyeol said gently, laughing at Kyungsoo's nod and approving smile.

Baekhyun giggled so cutely their eyes couldn’t leave him. “I wish I was as good at- at-uh complimenting and flirting just because, because I want to-to make you guys feel… happy too.”

“You make us very happy, just looking at you makes me happy.” Jongin admitted genuinely, “Plus, half the art of flirting is just telling the truth, let’s try it, hm? Go ahead, beautiful.”

“Oh… I-uh- I don’t think…” Baekhyun flustered, pausing at a rather loud lightning strike that made him jump into Kyungsoo's side. “I’m not… I just…”

“Then what did people say to you? I’m curious, did people get to see your pretty little blush.” Chanyeol said, sounding envious even though they were speaking about years ago.

Baekhyun smiled softly and shook his head, “I think… they probably only saw me running away. But, sometimes it was nice… this-this kid a year older than me asked me to a school dance and I-I felt bad running away because I heard he had a big crush on me, but I couldn’t… people thought I was really shy, but I just didn’t I didn’t feel a need to try and socialize or… talk because making friends means… means learning about each other and I didnt- I didnt need more things to worry about.”

“I would’ve cried too.” Kyungsoo teased, pressing his head onto Baekhyun's, “I was a huge nerd in school though, so I wouldn’t have had the guts to talk to you anyways.” He admitted.

“You don’t… look like it.” Baekhyun said with a cute confused look, “I mean, I would picture you… a part of the popular boys, because… you’re so… good looking.”

Kyungsoo beamed at the compliment, “I think you’re the best looking, baby. But that was more of Jongin and Chanyeol's style.”

“Hyung was a nerd.” Jongin chortled to himself, “We were neighbors, the three of us, so we went to school together, well somewhat because Yeol Hyung only was in the same schools as us for a while since he’s three years older than me.”

Baekhyun furrowed his brows. “So… you’ve known each other this long? How’d you… Jongin mentioned that you guys knew you guys weren’t soulmates, how? What if… what if I really am just the platonic… extra soulmate?” He felt a pang of hurt at the thought, but the three older ones looked much more upset.

“It’s not possible.” Chanyeol disagreed immediately. “I’ll explain. So… soulmates are supposed to… have a certain feeling right? A pull if you will?”

Baekhyun nodded minisculely and saw the three smile at confirming he had the feelings too. “Comfort… like a… blanket?” The youngest ducked his head shyly at his own admission.

“Definitely.” Chanyeol agreed with a wide grin, “But also… like… you’re a beacon, we’re drawn in, and you don’t give us the same feelings we get from each other. With each other it’s nice, it’s like an unbreakable trust, a friendship. But… we don’t want to be… close to each other like we do you.”

“What do you mean?” Baekhyun chewed his lip, confused.

“He means we don’t… want to hold each other's hands, we don’t feel attracted to each other like we do to you. You’re like… the centerpiece, sweetheart. I can tell you right now I definitely don’t want to kiss them like I want so badly to kiss you, I don’t want to hold them and treat them like I do you.” Jongin admitted with a pretty smile as he watched Baekhyun's face turn into disbelief.

“Been there, I can agree I do not want to kiss either of them.” Kyungsoo added quietly, “Got dared to kiss Chanyeol at a party once, we’re all positive it’s not each other.”

“Oh.” Baekhyun laughed quietly and ran his tongue across his pink lips, chewing gently at them. “That’s… I feel better now?”

“If just telling you we didn’t want to kiss each other makes you happy, want me to tell you how much I want to kiss you, pretty?” Chanyeol flirted gently, sitting up on his knees making Baekhyun have to tear his eyes away from the rippling muscle of his torso.

“You don’t… you don’t want to do that, I won’t… be any good, I’m gross… let’s not…” Baekhyun trailed off, his eyes on Chanyeol's mouth not really convincing that he didn’t want to- because he did.

Kyungsoo sighed in his ear, pressing closed mouth kisses to Baekhyun's cheek. “You’re not gross, to us, you’re not gross. Never, Baekhyun.”

“I… haven’t… I don’t think I've ever had a kiss… one time I-uh…”

“Remember what we said, baby, if you have something you want to say, you can say it. If we… if you talk about it, maybe it can help you, sweetheart.” Jongin said softly, “Nothing you say can make us not want to kiss all over your pretty face.”

Baekhyun let out a quiet laugh and placed his hand on his cheek, “Okay.” He murmured, “I just wanted to say… that… I-uh- I was kissed the day… the day the creatures started… so like a year and a half ago?

Me and Taeyong, we were locked up in our house and… Dad came back. I had put Taeyong to sleep, pretending things were normal and I watched the news. I explained to my him that we needed to start figuring out what to do that night, but he… he either didn’t care or he was just- he was trying to act like things were okay, but I was scared.

That’s all I had left, my first kiss, it was all I had, but… he-he wanted to take it from me, he did. And I screamed and I can barely remember what happened, but he… had a gun in his desk, and as he was trying to convince me… that-that everything was staying the same I shot him, I killed him. He wasn’t a creature and I killed him, I don’t… it was time, it was just time for it to be over.”

“We’ve all killed people, Baekhyun. People, not walkers.” Kyungsoo said gently, “And your reasoning is way better than any of ours, it doesn’t change how we look at you, you’re still the same. Truthfully, it’s good you did that because.. because we’d have killed him the moment we heard about it.”

“But… I never got an explanation, a reason why… he did that to me.” Baekhyun responded quietly, not upset, more confused. “He needed a reason to have done that to me for so long.”

“But would it have changed anything, Baekhyun?” Jongin asked calmly, “Would it have made you feel better? Would it have helped you form relationships, help you forget?”

Baekhyun sighed and shook his head, “No, no, it wouldn’t have. But… don’t … don’t I deserve at least an explanation?”

Chanyeol frowned and placed his hand on Baekhyun's leg, “We’re sorry, sweetheart, you do. We wish there was an explanation, but sometimes people are just… They're sick, and even before walkers people were like that. You just need to remember that it wasn’t your fault, and anytime you feel upset… you tell us and we will always tell you that it’s not your fault, that we want to love you and help you learn.” Baekhyun wouldn’t get over those memories, and even though Chanyeol so badly wanted to say they could help him forget them, he didn’t want to give out false promises, but he would still try.

“I want to… make better memories.” Baekhyun whispered quietly, “I don’t want to… get sick everytime I think someone stares too long, or… or pass out when someone compliments me a bit too flirtatiously.”

“If someone does you come tell us and we’ll go beat them up.” Jongin said playfully, but the glint in his eye was possessive. “Nobody can flirt with you but us, you like that don’t you? If you don’t like something someone says to you, you come tell us.”

“I like it when you guys say it.” The youngest said with an embarrassed glance, “I like… when you guys say I’m nice looking… and… when you hold me… or pick me up and tell me nice things, I don’t feel bad.”

“First of all, Chanyeol stop manhandling him, I know for a fact me and Jongin haven’t picked him up so it must be you.” Kyungsoo ordered, “And secondly, then we won’t stop telling you nice things, babe. And even if we do or say something that makes you uncomfortable, if you tell us we won’t be upset.”

“He just said he likes it, Soo.” Chanyeol rolled his eyes with an annoyed scoff.

Kyungsoo glared at him through his hair.

“I want…. to be kissed.” Baekhyun's shy admission broke the twos jealous staring contest.

Chanyeol smirked and pushed Jongin's shoulder when the younger smiled and went to move closer, “I’m oldest, what I say goes.”

The other two rolled their eyes.

“You don’t… have to.” Baekhyun added, as if kissing him would be a chore.

“Didn’t I just tell you how much I’m dying to kiss you, little moon?” Chanyeol laughed and moved to sit beside Baekhyun, facing him, eyeing his pretty bitten red lips.

Baekhyun laughed and brushed his hair out of his face nervously, “I don’t… I probably won’t be any good.”

“Oh, god, just kiss him before my heart stops.” Jongin whined dramatically, leaning back on his elbows and looking at the two through his long black hair.

Chanyeol smiled gently and cupped Baekhyun's jaw, angling his head how he wanted before surging forward and pressing a gentle kiss to his mouth, more than a peck, but not overwhelming as he only left his mouth in place against the others, feeling Baekhyun let out a nervous breath into his mouth.

The elder smiled and turned his head at a different angle to pull Baekhyun's top lip between his gently, a small noise sounding as he released it to do the same to his bottom lip. It was all chaste, never using his tongue to pry open the youngers mouth even though he wanted to so badly, to taste him.

But Baekhyun licked and chewed his lips so nervously throughout the days that Chanyeol could taste him through the small amount of saliva on his lips, and he felt so, so protective of the younger man. Baekhyun was so sweet, so cute as his hand came up to rest on Chanyeol's bare shoulder, his nose brushing Chanyeol's as he tried to figure out how to copy him.

Reluctantly, Chanyeol sat back, pressing one last kiss to Baekhyun's mouth. “Good first kiss?” They would pretend it was Baekhyun's first, because it deserved to be.

The way Baekhyun blushed immediately and licked off his mouth as if trying to search for Chanyeol's again made the eldest overwhelmingly soft. “Yes.” He whispered breathlessly.

Chanyeol smiled and pressed a chaste kiss to the center of Baekhyun's forehead. “I’m really happy.”

“God, you’re so cute.” Jongin mumbled in disbelief, “Hyung kissed you, so now you need to watch out because it's only fair to share.”

Baekhyun threw his head back in a laugh as Kyungsoo hummed an agreement and pressed a sly kiss to his jaw.

“He’s really good too, he’ll learn fast.” Chanyeol added to the red on the youngests face just because he found the sight adorable.

“Liar, I have no idea what I’m doing!” Baekhyun called out with loud laughter, “I was probably horrible and you just don’t want to tell me-“

He was cut off by a pair of plump lips attaching to his, his mouth parted open since he was mid sentence when Kyungsoo grabbed his chin.

He let a surprise noise fall from his mouth as his hands moved to curl into Kyungsoo's sweater.

It was different from Kyungsoo. With Chanyeol it was overwhelmingly sweet, a softness and protectiveness only the eldest could convey, but Kyungsoo… he was gentle, but not as soft as Chanyeol. His kiss was almost nervous as if afraid he had scared Baekhyun.

Kyungsoo didn’t. Of course he didn’t, as soon as Baekhyun realized what was happening his eyes were closing as he let a small smile fall onto his lips when Kyungsoo pressed a gentle kiss to the curve of his smile, a tiny swipe of a tongue on Baekhyun's bottom lip had him making a noise he’d never heard before from his mouth, like a whine, one of need.

Baekhyun mused if this was what the students in his class talked about, if this was arousal? But he didn’t feel like he necessarily wanted to have sex… but he felt safe, was this love then? It was impossible.

But it felt an awfully lot like it as Kyungsoo pulled away with an equally happy smile on his face, “Chanyeol Hyung is right, very good.”

And, for once, Baekhyun thought he could fall in love with them.

Maybe it would be a long time, or, it could be tomorrow, but he knew they had time, at least for now they did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Isn’t Baekhyuns story painful? Do you understand why he would listen though?


	6. Your Boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A moment for everyone.

The sound of a car alarm was not the best thing to wake up to.

Especially when they had slept soundly, Taeyong curled up at his stomach and Kyungsoo's soft breath fanning his forehead and Jongin's and Chanyeol's warmth mixed up around him.

At the growing loudness in the distance, Chanyeol jumped up as did everyone else, the eldest reaching for his gun that was tucked under his pillow.

“What the fuck is that?” Jongin grunted, digging his nose into the hair at the nape of Baekhyun's neck.

Baekhyun hummed an annoyed sound, hand moving to cover Taeyongs ear even though the child was hard to get up.

“We’ll go check it out.” Kyungsoo murmured before leaning up and pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's mouth, hand brushing his crazy hair behind his ear. “You want to come?”

Not much has changed, only this.

A few days ago when he had shared a kiss with both Kyungsoo and Chanyeol had spurred the two into kissing fiends, always taking their time to press kisses onto his mouth whether in public or not.

But Jongin still hadn’t, and Baekhyun was growing slightly confused with the man's reluctance when he was the most flirtatious of them, and that hadn’t changed.

“Yeah.” Baekhyun mumbled with swollen eyes, moving to sit up groggily, moving his own blanket onto Taeyong.

God, he really needed to set the kid a bedtime again, he couldn’t have Taeyong not be alert at times like this, but also he was a kid, there wasn’t much he could do anyways. Chanyeol promised to show him to shoot though, and that made him happier.

“Here, baby.” Jongin said tiredly, offering a jacket to Baekhyun who accepted it and then turned to curl himself into Chanyeol's side as he slid on his shoes.

“My little leech, hm?” The eldest teased, his gun in his waistband of his sweatpants as he pulled Baekhyun from the tent with a kiss on his forehead.

Baekhyun only nodded tiredly, squinting at the early morning brightness as they walked towards the noise.

Yifan was already standing on the edge of camp, arms crossed and his gun dangling from his hand. “I swear, I’m gonna kill them.”

“You think it’s Hyungs?” Kyungsoo yawned and ran his fingers through his hair.

“Who else? They were supposed to be back within fifteen days, it’s been thirteen, close enough.” The leader explained. “Dumbasses I swear.”

“Your soulmate is one of them.” Jongin pointed out with a laugh.

Yifan turned around with a passive expression, “I said what I said.”

The group snorted at him and Baekhyun stared at Yifan confused. “That’s not nice.”

Chanyeol chuckled and leaned down to press his chin on Baekhyun's head, “Him and Yixing have been together forever, he’s only playing.”

“Am I?” Yifan grumbled, “I knew I should’ve made him stay here.”

Baekhyun cringed as the horn of the car started to go off and he heard people’s tent doors flapping open behind them at the ruckus. He brought his hands up to cover his ears and turned to press his cheek to Kyungsoo's collarbone. “Loud.”

Kyungsoo frowned and wrapped his arms around him, pressing a soft kiss to his hair and covering his ears with both of his hands over Baekhyun's.

The car was going fast, swerving up the hill, the alarm blaring the whole time.

Yifan curled his mouth in annoyance as he noticed a large packing truck following, no sounding coming from it.

The sports car with loud noises coming from it stopped in front of the group and the leader immediately jumped down in anger. “You dumbasses! You trying to get us found!”

The driver popped the hood and Sehun immediately cut the alarm line and everyone in camp relaxed.

“Hoseok, what the fuck were you thinking?” Yifan cried as the second vehicle pulled up behind the first silently, “God, what the fuck!”

“Chill, Fan.” A dimpled man cooed sweetly, walking fast from the second car to wrap an arm around Yifan. “It’s cool, right?”

Baekhyun looked at the men confused as they poured out of the cars, he knew names based on the two weeks or more he'd been here, he just didn’t know where they belonged. It was obvious who Yixing was though.

“Yoongi Hyung!” Jimin cried before running over and throwing himself at his soulmate. Baekhyun always thought Jimin was cute, despite flirting with anything that moved.

He mainly talked to him and Jungkook, a younger teen that hadn’t met his soulmate yet, he was quiet.

“That is Junmyeon, the other leader.” Jongin murmured, pointing to a shorter man standing beside a man with cat-like eyes who both beamed at Chanyeol as he walked over to them, large form towering. “And his soulmate Minseok, they're both very nice.”

“And Hoseok and Yoongi mainly hangout around Namjoon, Seokjin, and Jimin.” Kyungsoo added into Baekhyun's hair.

“And Jungkook?” Baekhyun wondered.

“Our baby, so observant.” Jongin flirted playfully, pressing a kiss to his temple as Baekhyun stared at Chanyeol's back, flushing in embarrassment when Chanyeol turned to point at them with a wide grin.

Suddenly, Baekhyun heard a familiar distressed huff and spun around. “Hyung! Hyung!”

He felt momentary fear as he saw Taeyong stumble out of the tent, face went with tears, causing everyone to look at the kid as he ran towards them barefoot.

Baekhyun frowned and dropped down to put his arms out for Taeyong. “Hey, we’re right here, Hyung is here, bug.”

Taeyong calmed down immediately, nodding and pressing his chin to Baekhyun's shoulder. “You weren’t there.”

“The others came back, you were sleeping so we thought you wouldn’t wake up. We scared you, we’re sorry, Taeyongie.” Jongin whispered, reaching down to pick up the kid.

Baekhyun always teased him and Chanyeol for picking up Taeyong so much. He had only just turned twelve, and he was small, but he was growing like a weed so soon he wouldn’t want them to be treating him like a kid so much- even if he was a kid. He did have to grow up fast though, even if Baekhyun didn’t want him to.

“Nini Hyung, I was by myself, the walkers could have gotten me.” Taeyong explained his tears, wiping his face with his sleeve.

“And that’s why Hyungs are going to show you to fight.” Kyungsoo said gently, “Sunmi is going to show all the young ones to fight starting today, and everyday, so you should go eat up, bear.”

Taeyong stuck his lip out and nodded, leaning into Jongin's chest like a child even though he was always adamant he wasn’t.

Baekhyun would be lying if he said he wasn’t jealous Taeyong let his soulmates baby him, but whined if Baekhyun did, maybe he had a childlike admiration for them, Baekhyun couldn’t blame him if he did.

He had very much accepted he really liked his soulmates, liked a lot at the max- he wouldn’t admit anything more at this point- not unless he was completely sure.

“Baby!” He snapped his eyes to look at Chanyeol beckoning him over, looking away from where Jongin was walking off with Taeyong.

Baekhyun looked over at Kyungsoo and saw him talking to Yifan, looking deep in thought and dug his hands into his huge hoodie pocket as he stumbled over. Probably looking a mess having woken up not so long ago and drowning in clothes too big, but Chanyeol still looked at him as if he was the prettiest sight he had seen all day.

“My baby.” Chanyeol added to his embarrassment with a hand out towards him, that he accepted quickly, only to be pulled into his soulmates hard chest. “This is Baekhyun, our soulmate.”

“You look much too nice to be with them.” Junmyeon snorted and looked him over as if calculating. “But I’m glad to finally meet you, they’ve been waiting forever.”

Baekhyun felt slightly guilty at the words and nodded, backing up and pressing himself into Chanyeol's chest because he knew it made the elder happy. “I’ve heard about you too, you guys were getting supplies?”

“Oh fuck, that reminds me.” Minseok cursed and went to the back of the truck, pulling up the back. “The place we usually raid, it's surprisingly empty, like… we didn’t see any walkers at all.”

“What?” Chanyeol sounded so confused Baekhyun looked up at him. “Usually it’s packed.”

“Right?” Junmyeon muttered, “Hopefully… they're not working their way here, but I mean… they probably ran out of food, they’re animals.” He shook his head.

“They’re people.” Someone argued and Baekhyun looked over his shoulder, he hadn’t spoken to everyone, but he prides himself in knowing most of their names, and he had noticed not many people spoke to Jinhyuk, maybe this was why. “They’re still people.”

“Say that when they’re munching your face off.” Minseok argued, “You’ve never been out of camp, Jinhyuk, you have no idea.”

“See, that’s the problem these days, none of you guys treat them like people! Maybe they wouldn’t be so-“

“Have you ever even seen them up close?” Baekhyun surprised himself, and even more so the audience. “Try to say they’re people still when they’re ripping you apart and getting up from death. I’ve seen walkers stabbed in the chest get up like it’s nothing, can you survive that? Can you get shot a million times and still walk away safely?”

Baekhyun saw a vaguely impressed look on Yifans face as Jinhyuk huffed and walked back to camp, then felt proud as Chanyeol reached down to intertwine their fingers.

“Didn’t picture you as the confrontational type.” Junmyeon commented with a smile.

“Us either.” Chanyeol said happily, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's mouth. “Full of surprises, Baekhyun.”

~~~~~~~

Baekhyun turned to Taeyong and his small group of friends, biting off his jerky stick. “You guys stay within view of the others, I'll be right back.”

“Yes, Hyung.” Mark said with a cute smile, continuing digging in the dirt.

“You too.” Namjoon called on watch on top of the RV. “Stay within shouting distance.”

“Yes, Hyung!” Baekhyun mimicked the kids, spinning on his heels and grabbing a red plastic bucket from the ground.

He smiled and nodded to the women at the edge of the river and continued into the forest. A few days ago Sehun had pointed out a bush of berries he wasn’t sure was poisonous or not, and Baekhyun was pretty good at telling fruits apart.

The perks of not having had many friends was that he had a lot of time to learn things once considered useless.

Baekhyun spotted the bush of berries and smiled, there was a lot, the kids would love them, maybe even Jisung could get his first taste. He laughed quietly before kneeling down and picking the fruit off, they were only raspberries, they were harmless.

He hummed to himself and didn’t notice the footsteps walking up behind him until a hand curled around his hip and he jumped around, letting out a scared cry before making an angry face and hitting the other in the shoulder gently.

“You scared me!” Baekhyun whined, pressing his forehead to Jongin's shoulder.

The other laughed and pressed a kiss to Baekhyun's hair, “I’m sorry, baby, I thought you heard me. What are you doing all the way out here?”

Baekhyun lit up at the reminder and turned to grab a berry from the bucket, “Raspberries, the kids will go crazy.” He cooed, offering the berry as he stood up.

Jongin smiled radiantly and stepped closer, pressing his chest up against Baekhyun's, “Feed me, love.” He requested playfully.

The younger laughed and held the berry up to Jongin's mouth, his fingertips brushing the elders plump lip as if amazed before blushing and realizing what he was doing.

Jongin smirked and hurriedly ate the berry before cupping the back of Baekhyun's hair, pressing his nose to Baekhyun's. “You can touch me all you want, sweetheart, however you want, whenever you want, I’m yours.” He prompted.

Baekhyun licked his mouth, looking around Jongin's face. “How… why haven’t you kissed me yet?” He couldn’t stop himself from asking.

“You can kiss me whenever you want, you want Hyung to kiss you, my little baby?” Jongin smiled and ran his thumb across Baekhyun's soft cheek. “You want a kiss?”

The younger sucked his bottom lip between his teeth as he nodded, “Hyung, I want you to kiss me.”

Jongin preened and leaned forward to press his mouth to Baekhyun's, his tongue immediately searching Baekhyun's making the younger gasp and open his mouth up for Jongin, never having been kissed like this before.

Jongin kissed like his personality. Seductively, flirtatiously, but carefully. He paused every few moments and gave Baekhyun a chance to try and replicate his action, and Baekhyun only shyly ran his tongue across the elders as if afraid before making soft whines to spur Jongin into kissing him dominantly again.

“You taste so good, doll.” Jongin said, a panting in his voice as he pulled away to press his plump mouth to the corner of Baekhyun's as the smaller panted, brushing the hair from his soulmates cheek softly.

Baekhyun laughed and licked the combined combination of their saliva from his swollen mouth. “I like kissing.”

“Yeah?” Jongin smiled and pressed his mouth to Baekhyun's hair, “We like kissing you, kiss you whenever you want baby.” He teased, pressing pecks happily around Baekhyun's face just to see him laugh.

“You.. Hyung!” Baekhyun giggled and grabbed Jongin's cheeks and the elder smiled, elated. “You can… kiss me whenever you want too.”

“I’ll never stop!”

And Baekhyun felt tears from laughing so hard building up as Jongin pressed sweet kisses to his skin.

~~~~~~~~

Baekhyun smiled and laughed quietly at the kids covering their fingers and faces in berries and running around.

He and Jongin had gone and picked more, having gotten two buckets full of berries and let the kids have at one, little hands digging through it.

“You can tell plants apart?” Sunmi asked sweetly, “We really needed someone like you to be able to do that- there’s so many plants here we don’t know.”

Baekhyun laughed and scratched his arm at all the attention, glancing up at his soulmates talking across the camp. “I’m okay… I only know a few, usually poisoned plants have three leaflets on them, like poison ivy.”

The group looked vaguely impressed.

“I tried studying them, I got bored after page three.” Chaeyoung said softly, making the group laugh.

Baekhyun nodded and reached over to help her fold some of the laundry.

“Oh, you don’t have too, it’s okay.” She said quietly.

“It’s fine, you all wash the laundry in the river? I’m sorry, I haven’t been doing much lately, but I’ll start joining you guys.” Baekhyun brushed her off.

“Don’t worry about it, handsome.” Hyuna bounced Jisung on his lap, feeding him some berries, “You didn’t look so well when you first got here, Taeyong is a joy to have around, so we were mainly curious how you were.”

“Oh, he’s sweet.” Sunmi giggled and twirled her knife in her fingers, “Watch, as soon as one of his soulmates comes over, they’ll be all heart eyes and sugar, even Kyungsoo.”

“Unbelievable.” Hyuna laughed, “Kyungsoo doesn’t like anyone, I’ve seen him glare at everyone here at least once. You’re really easing them up.”

Baekhyun laughed and reached over to place the folded clothes into Chaeyoung’s basket. “Chanyeol and Jongin act the same as they did when I got here.”

“Oh god no.” Sunmi groaned, “Chanyeol literally took watch every night because he had nothing else to do, I’ve never seen him happier than when he sees you. And Jongin usually only smiled and waved, now he walks around with a pretty grin and all perky.”

“Really?” Baekhyun mumbled with reddened ears. “But the first thing that came out of his mouth was… was flirting.”

“Ah, the perks of soulmates, attracted immediately, I can’t wait.” Sunmi giggled.

Baekhyun laughed with a happy smile before turning around at footsteps, expecting to see his soulmates, but quickly frowned at the unfamiliar man.

“Chaeyoung, time to go.” The man ordered.

Baekhyun felt his fingers curling into his hoodie at the man's tone and at how silent Chaeyoung had gotten.

“Now, girl. Get your kids too.”

Chaeyoung’s hands shook so bad that Baekhyun reached over to help her toss the folded clothes into the basket, “I got it, it’s okay.”

“Don’t be doing a girls job.” The man growled, Baekhyun frowned at the grip he noticed on the back of Chaeyoung’s shirt. “Although, you’re quite nice looking, boy.”

Baekhyun's spine popped from how quickly he sat up, wanting to respond, but unable to find the words as he watched Chaeyoung obediently walk off with him.

“He… he treats his soulmate like that?” Baekhyun gawked quietly.

“They’re not soulmates.” Sunmi sighed, “She lost her soulmate, Mark and Lucas are her soulmates, not Seokmin’s. She’s never mentioned it… but we don’t think he’s very good to her behind closed doors either, but he doesn’t really come out much.”

Baekhyun couldn't really stomach what he was hearing, but he nodded and dug his nails into his palms.

“Oh, tell me about it, Hyojong wants to slaughter him, but he has no proof.” Hyuna commented, mentioning the soulmate Baekhyun had seen carrying Jisung around.

“My boys will… they’ll be so mad if they hear about something happening.”

“Your boys, huh? What are we talking about baby?”

Baekhyun felt his ears burn as Kyungsoo wrapped arms around his shoulders from behind, resting his chin on the youngers head.

“Oh, nothing to worry about Kyungsoo. Your soulmate is just so cute, how do you handle it?” Hyuna smirked and sent Baekhyun a wink.

Kyungsoo laughed deeply, “Trust me, we haven’t learned how yet.”


	7. Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The first signs of infestation.

“Hyung! Hyung!”

Baekhyun dropped the plate in his hand extremely quickly, taking off towards the forest.

He heard a lot of people following him, but only focused on the children’s crying and screaming as he ran through the trees.

Baekhyun dropped to his knees and grabbed Mark and Taeyong around their legs, pulling both into his arms. “Did you get scratched? Did you guys get bit?”

He saw a bunch of the men running past the two kids and could hear the lewd sounds of the creatures groaning.

“Hyung.” Mark cried, wrapping his arms around Baekhyun's neck.

Baekhyun sighed and pressed his lips to both of their faces quickly, “Go back to camp, we will talk later.”

“Wanted to get more berries, Hyung.” Taeyong added, tears on his face as Baekhyun stood up.

“Go, we’re going to talk later, go find one of the others at camp, maybe you can play in the RV.” The elder added, urging the two over.

He watched them run up the hill and saw Sehun nod at him from the top, letting Baekhyun know he had them.

Baekhyun turned on his heel, digging in his jean pocket for his knife and walking over to the circle of men.

It looked like the creature had been feasting on a deer, the deer's body laid out and intestines sprees over the forest floor.

“They never make it up the hill.” Yifan said, confused as he kicked at the walkers body, the head rolled out a few feet away.

Baekhyun jumped when he noticed the mouth still chomping and then curled his mouth in disgust. “You gotta go for the head.” He whispered, kneeling down and stabbing the creature in the back of the head, using his foot to hold the skull down as he retracted his knife.

“Ugh, let’s not get so close, you’re giving me anxiety.” Chanyeol commented, wrapping his long fingers around Baekhyun's hood.

“They’re running out of food.” Minseok said, “Jun and I noticed in town there weren’t any, or there were barely any.”

“Fuck.” Seokjin chewed his mouth and sighed, “I’m gonna go tell Hoseok and Yoongi to fuck with the RV and get it running, if we have that and then the other cars it should be enough if we pack everyone in, but we’ll have to leave supplies behind.”

Baekhyun sighed and reached for Chanyeol's hand, fingers intertwining with the larger man’s as the group separated. “Taeyong is in so much shit.”

His soulmate laughed and pressed a kiss to Baekhyun's cheek. “Don’t be too hard on him, he wants to be like you.”

“I told him to stay within eyesight and first thing he does is run off, he’s going to get killed, Yeol.” Baekhyun said quietly, pressing his cheek to Chanyeol's arm.

The larger sighed and pulled Baekhyun under his arm, “We will make sure he can fight, he’ll learn.”

“We?” Baekhyun wondered with a soft smile, “It’s ‘we’ now?”

Chanyeol snorted and stopped to cup Baekhyun's face, neck angled down and Baekhyun wondered if it was uncomfortable for him, their size differences were really too much, even with Kyungsoo he looked so small. “Of course, we’re a team.”

“I used to tell Taeyong we were a team.” Baekhyun said with a small smile, fingers curling into the edge of Chanyeol's shirt.

The elder hummed and pressed his mouth to Baekhyun's nose and then a chaste kiss to his mouth, “Now it’s all of us.” He pressed his forehead to Baekhyuns and smiled when Baekhyun leaned up shyly for another kiss. “Right, my love?”

“Right.” The younger murmured, his hands moving to rest on Chanyeol's chest as Chanyeol pressed soft pecks to his mouth.

Baekhyun pouted slightly when Chanyeol pulled away, standing on his tiptoes, “More.” He requested almost silently, surprising Chanyeol.

The elder beamed and wrapped his arms around Baekhyun's waist, relishing the size difference as both his hands covered so much of Baekhyun's small form as he picked him up, moving to press the smaller against a tree. “You like me this much?”

The younger let a soft noise fall from his mouth, eyes widening in surprise as his back pressed up against the oak of a tree, not uncomfortably, just for support. “Yes.”

Chanyeol hummed happily, trailing his nose down Baekhyun's cheek. “Yes? That’s it?”

Baekhyun laughed quietly, muffled as Chanyeol pressed a kiss to his mouth. “You make me… I feel safer when I’m with you guys.”

“We’d never let anyone hurt you and get away with it.” Chanyeol said seriously, his hands moving to hold Baekhyun's hips up, “You’re uncomfortable, we stop. If you’re upset, so are we. You should never be scared, not when you’re with us.”

“I was always scared.” Baekhyun whispered under his breath, eyes searching Chanyeol’s. “What if I wasn’t home and he got back early? What if Taeyong walked home and I wasn’t there? I think… those feelings are scarier than even these monsters that are here now.”

“I’m sure they were.” Chanyeol said softly, pressing a kiss to the corner of Baekhyun's eye when he looked tearful, “But you don’t need to worry like that now, nobody is going to touch you in a way you don’t like, nobody will touch Taeyong.”

“P-promise?” Baekhyun stuttered, tears falling down the curve of his cheek. “I don’t… I don’t like to be trapped, I don’t like… noises like… bad noises, I can't- I can't think sometimes, I can’t look in mirrors too long… I’m a lot of work, but-but I want you to take care of me so badly… don’t… don't give up on me.”

“Oh, my moon.” Chanyeol felt his hands trembling as he moved one to Baekhyun's cheek, running his thumb over the corner of Baekhyun's mouth. “I promise you, I promise, Baekhyun. God, I love you, you don’t need to say anything back, but I want you to know that I love you so much, and I love Taeyong. And we would never let you go through that again.”

“C-chanyeol.” Baekhyun cried out, fingers curling into Chanyeol's collar and pressing his cheek to Chanyeol's. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry, I’m fucked up. I can’t- I can’t.”

“Shhhh.” The elder purred comfortingly, holding the back of Baekhyun's head to his face. “You’re not, you’re not fucked up at all. I love you.”

“I-I can’t Chanyeol, it makes me sick, it makes me sick.”

“What, sweetheart? What makes you sick, baby? That I love you. I do, so much.” Chanyeol admitted softly, pressing a gentle kiss to Baekhyun's ear.

“No.” Baekhyun could taste salty tears on his mouth, “I might… I want to love so bad, but… I can’t trust… I can’t-can't love, I don’t even know… I don’t know if I could ever, ever do anything with any of you guys. I never even thought… never thought I’d ask to be kissed.”

“Just holding you, like this, it’s enough, Baekhyun. None of us will ever ask you for more. And if… if you ever decide you want to try, then you do what you want- we won’t make you or tell you to do anything. It’s all you, it’s only what you want, but we have so much time, we have time, Baekhyun. Don’t worry, don’t be so afraid. Holding you, kissing you, just seeing you is enough- it’s always enough.” Chanyeol cooed, cupping Baekhyun's jaw and pulling him from his hiding place in his cheek. “You don’t have to love me, but I love you and that means I’m going to take care of you, baby.”

“I want… want to love you so badly.” Baekhyun sobbed, Chanyeol wiped his nose onto his own sleeve gently, heart panging at his tiny soulmates crying. “I want… you to kiss me now.”

So Chanyeol did, immediately, his heart hurting and also beating fast as Baekhyun's fingers curled into his hair, and the other tightened into his collar, afraid.

~~~~~~~~

“Okay, what’d you get?” Kyungsoo cooed at Taeyong who stood on a rock, a fishing net in his hand.

Taeyong beamed and pulled up the net before frowning, “Nothing, Hyung. I think… I’m not good at it.”

“Yeah. Being all rude, staying submerged. Little suckers, they know something's up.” Kyungsoo smiled as he saw Taeyong laughing, “That's what's going on. Just going to have to do this the old-fashioned way.”

The child laughed and jumped from his place, “What do we do!”

The older man smiled and kneeled down into the water, “All right, little man, look. You are the… you are the key in all this, okay? All I'm gonna do is go after one of them, scare the rest of them off. They're all gonna scatter and they’re going to run to you.”

“And then frog legs for dinner, gross!” Taeyong stuck his tongue out.

Kyungsoo snorted, “Hell yeah. Give me your mean face.” He demanded, scrunching up his face.

Taeyong giggled and frowned his face, making Kyungsoo laugh, “Yes, my little man. Are you ready?”

“Yes, Hyung!”

Kyungsoo laughed and began jumping in the water, splashing obnoxiously, “Here we go, Tae. Here we go.

All right, they're coming your way. They're coming your way. Go on.”

Taeyong laughed loudly, echoing across the pond to where Baekhyun sat watching.

“Get them, get them. They're coming your way, come on. Catch the frogs. Catch those frogs. They're coming, little man!” Kyungsoo laughed as Taeyong dropped the net in his fit of laughter. “Ah, now you laugh at Hyung! Rude!”

Taeyong squealed as Kyungsoo picked him up and pulled him into the water, “Hyung, Hyung!” He squirmed and laughed loudly.

Kyungsoo beamed at the noise, playfully holding him to his chest. “I caught the frog, Taeyongie, you were too slow!”

Baekhyun smiled fondly at the two playing in the pond before turning back to wash laundry at his feet, piles of his, Taeyongs, and the boys clothes, not that it really mattered whose it was these days.

Sunmi had come by a bit ago to ask if he needed things washed, but that was unfair to not even do his own, so he packed up all the clothes quickly and followed her down to the pond.

“You got good soulmates, huh? Wish I had a man.” Sunmi commented wistfully.

Baekhyun's cheeks pinkend, “Yeah, they're really… they're great.”

“Wait till I get a good man, we can have them rival each other.” Sunmi snorted when Hyuna pushed her arm.

“Me too.” Chaeyoung added softly.

The group laughed and Hyuna reached over to pinch her cheek.

“What's so funny?” Seokmin’s nasally voice commented, standing behind the group.

“Problem, Seokmin?” Hyuna asked, dropping the shirt in her hand back into her basket.

Seokmin curled his mouth up as he took a drag of his cigarette, “Nothing that concerns you. And you ought to focus on your work. This ain't no comedy club.”

“Excuse me?” Sunmi gawked and Baekhyun looked up in disbelief, “All you do is sit on your ass, leave us the hell alone.”

“Well, I sure as hell ain't listening to some uppity smart-mouthed bitch. Tell you what… come on. Let's go.” Seokmin ordered, looking at Chaeyoung.

“I don't think she needs to go anywhere with you.” Baekhyun said softly, moving to stand up in front of Chaeyoung, brows furrowed.

Seokmin laughed and looked over the small man, “You can take her place, pretty boy.”

Chaeyoung gasped and curled hands into Baekhyun's shirt, “Baekhyun, please. It doesn't matter.”

“Stay out of this.” Seokmin growled, “I’m done with you bitch, let me talk to the boy, come on, give your Hyung a show.”

Baekhyun felt his skin goosebump up and his stomach churn as the older man reached out to grab his wrist tightly, it felt as if his palm was burning through his sweaters sleeve.

“Don’t touch him!” Hyuna demanded, “I’m going to get his soulmates!” She threatened, noticing Kyungsoo had taken off with Taeyong.

“Get off him!” Sunmi yelled, pushing at Seokmin’s shoulder as he pulled Baekhyun's arm, but the man was larger, fatter and heavier.

“Come on, you look like you could take it.” Seokmin growled.

Baekhyun felt his mouth drying up, “No!” His voice cracked even with the small exclamation and he reached out and pushed Seokmin’s shoulders.

“You son of a bitch!” Seokmin yelled, his hand moving faster than Baekhyun processed and hitting him in the cheek. He felt his cheek burning and licked over the cut on his lip from it hitting his tooth.

Baekhyun stared at the sand in disbelief for a second before he felt Seokmin release his sweater and looked up.

“Don’t fucking touch him!” Jongin screamed and grabbed Seokmin by his shirt, pulling him to the ground and pummeling his face.

“I’m sorry!” Chaeyoung yelled into the back of Baekhyun's shirt, “I’m sorry.”

Baekhyun only brought his hand to his mouth in shock, his fingertip coming back bloodied. His cheek was already bruising, he could feel the blood settling.

“Don’t you ever fucking touch him! You touch anyone in this camp I’ll fucking kill you!” Jongin screamed.

“Baekhyun, baby, come here!” Kyungsoo yelled as he ran down the side of the hill, hair dripping as he grabbed Baekhyun's hand and began pulling him away, “Fuck, I was gone ten minutes, oh god, what’d he do? I’ll kill him.”

Baekhyun licked the blood from his lip uselessly as the blood came back moments later, “He was going to hurt Chaeyoung.”

“Oh, fuck. Let’s get you an ice pack, sweetheart. Hyung is sorry, my love. Chanyeol is going to be pissed.” Kyungsoo fussed, gently pulling Baekhyun into a soft folding chair to the side of the RV and digging in an ice chest, “Does it hurt? Do I need to get Yixing?”

“I’m okay.” Baekhyun said softly, “I’m just… I think I’m in shock or something, my lip is throbbing.”

Kyungsoo sighed as he looked over Baekhyun's shoulder and saw Jongin, bloody knuckled, talking to Chanyeol, both of them looking deadly as Jongin explained. “I’m sorry, baby, I left for ten minutes.”

“I saw you playing with Taeyong.” Baekhyun ignored his fussing and only placed his hand over Kyungsoo's that held an ice pack to his cheek. “He looked happy.”

“Yeah? He’s a good kid, babe. You did well.” The elder complimented, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's forehead, “But you can't change the subject, I can see right through you, sweet pea.”

“What the fuck happened!” Jongin yelled as he and Chanyeol practically steamed, draping himself over the back of Baekhyun's chair. “Hyuna came up here yelling that there was a fight, didn’t know it was you, Baek.”

Jongin let out an angry noise as he looked at Baekhyun's face. “I’ll kill him, fuck, I’ll kill him, baby.”

“I’m going to.” Chanyeol growled, pulling off his jacket, “What the fuck, I’m going to kill him.”

Baekhyun made a fearful noise and reached out to grab Chanyeol's wrist, “It’s okay, It’s okay.”

“It’s not okay.” Chanyeol snapped, “Your lip is bleeding, your face is swollen, I won’t forget this, Baekhyun.”

“I want you to stay with me.” Baekhyun whispered, “Stay with me, my soulmate.”

Chanyeol lost all tension from his body at Baekhyun's uncharacteristic nickname, sighing and taking a seat on the ice chest. “God, I can’t stand when you look so adorable.”

Baekhyun laughed quietly and felt a drop of blood drip from his lip as it cracked more. He gasped and raised a hand to cover it when Kyungsoo wiped his thumb over his bottom lip softly, “Easy, baby.”

“Soo Hyung, it’s okay.” The youngest said quietly, tasting iron on his tongue, before turning around, holding the ice pack to his cheek. “Thank you, Jongin.”

Jongin laughed and brushed the blood on his knuckles off onto his jeans before pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's temple. “Of course. But I was so mad, Baekhyun, he looks so bad.”

“Worse than me?” Baekhyun tried to joke, leaning up to press his mouth to Jongin's jaw, not puckering his lips in fear it’d split his cracked lip more, but pressing lips to Jongin's jaw with the same intention of giving affection; a rare sight unless they asked him for it.

“Way worse than you.” Jongin growled, pressing a gentle kiss to the corner of Baekhyun's mouth, “He won’t be up for a while, not for touching you, for laying hands on you.”

“Now, you want to tell us what happened, or should we go ask Sunmi?” Kyungsoo said carefully, laying a warm hand on Baekhyun's thigh, a damp towel on his shoulders.

“I told you.” Baekhyun sighed, “He tried to hurt Chaeyoung. He probably hurts her a lot, the girls said, and I only told him she didn’t need to go with him- it wasn’t safe.”

“Then how’d you get hit? Yifan is going to know about this as soon as he’s up, and he’s going to need a good reason Jongin beat the shit out of Seokmin or he’ll be in trouble.” Kyungsoo explained.

Baekhyun felt his heart jump at the thought of accidentally getting Jongin in trouble, he didn’t want to cause any accidents, he didn’t know how they dealt with this sort of thing. “He… he said I could take her place, I don’t know if he meant… to get beaten or… something else, but I told him no and he hit me, that’s it.”

“That’s not it.”

Baekhyun startled and looked over his shoulder at Chaeyoung who had a thin blanket in her hands, offering it to him. “I hung your clothes up to dry for you.”

“You didn’t have to do that.” Baekhyun said softly, placing the ice pack down and accepting the blanket, “Thank you though.”

“And you didn’t have to do that for me.” Chaeyoung countered, “Thank you, sweetie.”

“What’d he say to Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo interrupted, “I’m sorry, we just… we want to make sure…”

“No… I understand, for someone to treat your soulmate like that… it’s hard.” She brushed off, “He… I don’t know if he would have honestly, but he was calling him pretty, and.. I’m sorry, I’m really sorry Baekhyun.” Her hands shook and Baekhyun frowned, “It's okay, it’s fine. I’m okay.”

“You should get back to your kids.” Chanyeol said softly, placing a hand on her shoulder, “Thank you for the blanket, we’ll take care of it.”

Chaeyoung nodded and pressed her hand to Baekhyun's shoulder again before turning and walking back towards the boys who were tossing their ball in a circle.

“We’ll protect you better, Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo promised, sounding like he was near tears. “We’re sorry, baby.” He whispered, pressing his lips to Baekhyun's knuckles and placing his forehead to Baekhyun's knees, almost like he was begging for forgiveness.

“You did.” Baekhyun argued softly, “You did, Soo, you did.”

“I’d do it again.” Jongin said quietly, “We'll do it again, for you. We love you, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun gulped and leaned over to press his forehead on the back of Kyungsoo's. “I’d do it for you too.”


	8. Moving On

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to go.

Yifan hadn’t been mad at all. In fact, he had laughed and said “About time he got his shit beat.”

It was nice to know the leader sided with them. Him and Junmyeon had agreed, after seeing Seokmin’s face, that he had gotten punishment enough for his actions.

Now, days later, Baekhyun was practically up and normal, while Seokmin was still bed rested, face black and his concussion making him even more demanding of Chaeyoung.

Baekhyun would never understand that kind of abuse. Emotional definitely, sexual definitely, but physical… he didn’t know how Chaeyoung could treat him so well after what he had done to her.

He supposed not many people would understand the same of him though. He wasn’t even sure his soulmates fully understood, and that was okay too, he didn’t really want them to fully understand.

“Let me talk to you, babe.” Kyungsoo smiled at Baekhyun's back as the younger changed his shirt.

“Okay.” Baekhyun responded quietly, pulling the shirt off his chest.

Kyungsoo laughed and walked over to wrap his arms around his bare waist. Baekhyun let out a surprised noise. “Hyung!”

The elder laughed and pressed his lips to Baekhyun's soft shoulder, “Hyung can’t hold you?”

Baekhyun's ears reddened as Kyungsoo pulled him down to the padded floor playfully, rolling Baekhyun on top of his chest.

“Hyung! I’m changing!” Baekhyun whined, pressing his bare chest down to Kyungsoo's for cover.

“I know, our Baekhyunnie is so pretty.” Kyungsoo flirted innocently, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's nose.

Baekhyun giggled and pressed his own, shyer kiss to Kyungsoo's chin. “What’d you want to talk about?”

Kyungsoo hummed, “I just wanted to tell my soulmate that I love him so much, I can’t tell you I love you?” He teased, fingers running gently over Baekhyun's spine.

“Hyung.” Baekhyun whined, embarrassed. “You told me all day today already, even in front of everyone!”

The elder snorted and cupped Baekhyun's chin, pressing his mouth to the others, smiling when Baekhyun immediately scooted closer, a small whine vibrating Kyungsoo's lips as the younger made a needy noise.

Baekhyun loved the attention, loved the affection, loved being loved, and his soulmates were happy to give him whatever he wanted, always putting on pretty smiles even when they were upset, even when he was telling them something angering- about his abuse or thoughts of himself- because they never wanted him to think they were getting mad at him, or getting upset with him.

And Baekhyun analyzed things, always watched people rather than having a lot to say. His shyness was a personality trait, but also a bit maddening as they couldn’t read him sometimes.

“Love you, baby.” Kyungsoo muttered across Baekhyun's pretty lips, “Hyungs love you, so much.”

Baekhyun still couldn't say it back, they knew it, but he didn’t feel as horrible about it anymore, not when they still smiled at him sweetly and lit up when he would initiate affection, which he was getting better at doing.

“Hyung.” Baekhyun whispered quietly, leaning up to press a quiet kiss to Kyungsoo's lips, “Soo, I’m hungry.”

Kyungsoo snorted and pressed an opened mouth kiss to Baekhyun's mouth for good measure before letting him roll off his chest, fingers searching for his pajama shirt he had been in the middle of putting on.

“Way to ruin the moment, sweet pea.” Kyungsoo teased, climbing to his feet and putting his gun back in his waistband from their nap. “Hyung is oh so nice to his baby soulmate and Baekhyun only wants food.”

“Want kisses too,” Baekhyun corrected with a flush, putting his pocket knife in his sweatpants and turning around.

Kyungsoo smiled softly and reached out for him, throwing an arm over his shoulders as they made it out of the tent, dark already fallen as people sat around the campfire. “How could I forget?” He teased, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's yellowed bruise. “Hyungs give you so many kisses.” He added in a whisper, pressing his lips below Baekhyun's ear.

Baekhyun whined and shoved him off, playfully running over to his other two soulmates with laughter.

“Ah, finally you come out?” Jongin gave him a half smile and patted his lap. “You came to see your Hyungs finally?”

Baekhyun nodded cutely and took a seat on Jongin's lap, Chanyeol's fingers reaching over to drag Baekhyun's ankles into his lap.

“Lies, he said he was hungry.” Kyungsoo called out. “Don’t let him fool you.”

“Our baby could never lie.” Chanyeol teased, pinching Baekhyun's calf and making him pout.

Jongin pressed his chin to Baekhyun's shoulder as the smaller looked around the fire, waving at Junmyeon seated across them. “Tae already went to bed?”

“The little bug had a little bit of a cough, so Yixing gave him some medicine after he ate and we told him to get some sleep early. He’s in the RV, Yifan is letting him sleep with the heater.” Jongin explained in his ear.

“Thank you.” Baekhyun called across the fire, nodding at Yifan.

He waved it off, “Of course.”

Baekhyun beamed in reply, turning to accept the plate of food from Kyungsoo with a smile.

He immediately began digging in, his appetite so much better after being here over a month, ribs no longer as protruding.

“Did you sleep well?” Chanyeol moved his hands to massage Baekhyun's calf’s.

Baekhyun nodded in response, swallowing his bite before leaning over and asking for a silent kiss. Chanyeol lit up, as they often did when Baekhyun initiated affection so cutely, pressing a kiss to his mouth and nose for good measure.

“So sweet after your nap, baby.” Jongin praised, their little area drowned out by the smooth talking and laughter around the fire. “Hyungs love when their baby is so cute.”

“I’ll… I’ll always be cute then.” Baekhyun said shyly, a nervous look on his face he always got when he tried to flirt and knew how horrible he was at it.

His soulmates still liked his attempts though, still thought he was painfully adorable.

“You’re always cute, babe, give me a kiss.” Jongin requested softly, running his thumb across Baekhyun's yellowed cheek to get his attention.

Baekhyun beamed, deeming his flirting a success when Jongin pressed quiet pecks to his pink mouth.

It wasn’t like they starved him of affection, people would probably think that by the way Baekhyun lit up and how fast he would accept any opportunity to get his soulmates attention, it was very much the opposite.

Baekhyun soaked up affection like a sponge, and the three had always wanted and dreamed of their soulmate since they had gotten their marks at age thirteen, and Baekhyun didn’t disappoint, never disappointed. They wanted his eyes on them too, just as much as the youngest wanted their eyes only.

“Hyungs!”

The group jumped up immediately at Taeyongs high pitched scream and saw the RV cracked, the young boys eyes wide before he slammed the RV door shut, they could hear his crying inside.

Baekhyun felt his heart jump, but Kyungsoo was acting on it immediately, his gun already smoking as he shot the walker by the RV door.

“I’ll get him!” Chanyeol yelled as people began to scream, walkers growling and dragging themselves through the forest towards the camp.

“Everyone! If you’re in a tent, stay inside!” Minseok yelled aloud.

Baekhyun jumped into action as he saw Chanyeol pulling Taeyong out of the trailer, carrying him towards the RV ladder.

“Go up! Taeyong, go up and stay there!” Chanyeol demanded.

Baekhyun grabbed a walker by the hair, other hand jamming his knife into it's temple before turning around at a familiar scream and running over to Hyuna.

A walker had her pinned to the forest floor, her fingers pushing into the decomposing flesh, only digging deeper with no effect to the walker.

Baekhyun kicked it off of her and used his foot to step on its chest, “Get in a tent! Go!” He didn’t see if she was still there or not before stabbing the snarling creature in the eye, cringing at the smell of death when he had to pull his knife out.

“Fuck, we can't stay here.” He heard Sehun sigh, kicking at a freshly attacked body on the ground.

Baekhyun furrowed his brows, but didn’t feel bad at all when he saw it was Seokmin’s dead, or slowly turning, body.

“You okay?” Baekhyun was spun around as Jongin looked down at him, his own hand holding a bloody knife, “No scratches and no bites?”

“None, you?” Baekhyun said, a quiet panting from his adrenaline rush.

“None.” Jongin sighed in repeat and wrapped both arms tightly around Baekhyun's shoulders, “We’re all okay.”

“Hyung, I wasn’t scared!” He heard Taeyong say, the same voice he used when he lied, Baekhyun could recall it easily.

“Yeah? Well, Hyung was scared, you’re sleeping with us tonight.” Kyungsoo said, carrying Taeyong towards their tent, Baekhyun didn’t even know if any of them would sleep tonight.

“We’re going to have to announce leaving first thing in the morning.” Junmyeon said quietly, almost guiltily, “We should have left as soon as we saw that one in the woods, now we have two of our own dead, Seokmin and Hwanhee.”

Baekhyun hadn’t known much about the older man, all he knew was that Hwanhee was in charge of fishing, and was fairly good at it.

“Some may not want to go with us, we would be on the road, or on foot a long time.” Yifan sighed, “They may want to split.”

“That’s okay.” Chanyeol said immediately, “We’re going with you guys though, the six of us are with you guys.”

Baekhyun saw Junmyeon look genuinely touched, “Thank you, Chanyeol.”

~~~~~~~

“So here’s the deal!” Junmyeon yelled from his spot standing on a log. “We can’t stay here any longer, we will be going west, and if you decide it’s time to split up then it’s understandable.”

Baekhyun chewed his lip as he looked around, he could already see that people wanted to leave, to go on their own. He understood, it was easier to be in smaller groups, but not if humans came.

“We will leave a trail, signs as we go, maybe we will find shelter.” Minseok added quietly, “But we will be on the road, we will go as far as we can by car, and then we will have to walk, and it will be hard.”

“We’re staying.” Hyuna said quietly, Baekhyun found himself frowning and leaning against Kyungsoo's arm, fingers working under his soulmates jacket. “It’s too much for a baby… I can’t… we will stick around here until we can’t any longer and then… we will try and follow you.”

Baekhyun chewed his lip and saw Hyojong throw his arm around his soulmate comfortingly.

“If Hyuna is staying… then I will too.” Namjoon said gently, “My group will stay, to protect them.”

“You guys are crazy, I’m going.” Jinhyuk insulted, “It’s a madhouse here.”

“That was the second attack we’ve had the whole year we’ve been here, you're more useless on the road than here!” Sunmi yelled.

“My boys and I need to stay.” Baekhyun gulped at Chaeyoung holding Mark and Lucas to her chest, “They wouldn’t make it walking too much, and you don’t know how long it’s going to take.”

“Taeyong can make it, if he can the boys can Chaeyoung.” Baekhyun said quietly, it wasn’t that he really wanted to convince her, but she shouldn’t stay where so many bad memories were. “They’re strong, they can make it.”

Chaeyoung stared across at him and then smiled, “You should stay then, the boys would miss each other.”

Baekhyun felt Kyungsoo tighten his grip around his waist, pressing lips to his temple, probably out of fear he would accept and they would be separated.

“I’m sorry… but I’m staying with my family.” Baekhyun said apologetically, “And if we see you again… it will be safer.”

Kyungsoo released a heavy sigh of relief and Baekhyun saw Taeyong crying as he ran over to say goodbye to his friends, he tore his eyes away so he wouldn’t feel guilty.

“I’m going with the leaders.” Sunmi added, “But we should show them the area we’re aiming for.”

“Let’s get some maps out.” Yixing suggested immediately.

~~~~~~

Baekhyun couldn't help crying, of course he couldn’t.

He had his arms tightly around Hyuna.

They had all cleaned up, packed up cars and filled them up. And now it was more of a waiting game, they split supplies, they split weapons, Baekhyun knew it would be hard, but he hoped he would see them again.

“Hey, we won’t go down that easy, sweetheart.” Hyuna cooed, grabbing his face, “And you guys won’t either, maybe… maybe we will see you again, some day.”

“Maybe is not a reassuring word.” Baekhyun mumbled.

She laughed and pressed a kiss to his face. “Then I’ll promise to see your cute face again, that better?”

“Better.” Baekhyun sniffed and pulled himself together before kneeling down to pull Jisung into a hug. “You better be really big when I see you next, Jisung.” He cooed gently, pressing a kiss to the baby’s head, “Hyung will look forward to seeing you again.”

Baekhyun smiled at the wide eyed gurgles and passed Jisung back to Hyuna, vision blurred by tears.

“H-Hyung.” Baekhyun didn’t want to say goodbye to the twins, not when they had been crying so much, he didn’t know if they’d beg him to let Taeyong stay, and he wouldn’t allow it.

“Hey, boys.” Baekhyun crouched down to pull Mark and Lucas into his arms, “You’re going to be okay, and you need to take really good care of your mom.”

Marks face was already covered in tears but Lucas nodded. “Yifan Hyung already said that.”

Baekhyun snorted and pressed a kiss to each of their heads. “Sorry then, Hyung will have to think of something new, huh?”

“Baek.” Jongin called, sounding apologetic as he walked over, “Baby, it’s time to go.”

The younger gulped and let go of the boys, accepting Jongin's hand, “Taeyong already in the truck?”

“Cried himself to sleep.” Jongin cringed and pressed a kiss to Baekhyun's hair, “He’ll be okay though.”

“This is better, right?”

Jongin sighed against his temple and opened the backdoor of the truck, it would be a tight fit, but all six of them could fit, Taeyong was already asleep in Sehun's lap. “I honestly don’t care if it’s better, as long as you guys are safe.”

Baekhyun licked his lips and cupped Jongin's jaw, his fingertips brushing the soft hair on the side of his soulmates head. “We’re safer together.”

“Of course.” Jongin muttered immediately, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's forehead and then resting his mouth over the others, “We stay together.”

“Together.” He agreed, pressing a soft kiss to Jongin's mouth, “We take care of each other now.”

Jongin smiled and pressed another kiss to his mouth before pulling away, the fondest of looks on his face as he brushed Baekhyun's hair back. “Let’s get going, doll.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m really happy about all the comments!! Also, some things may be a bit confusing esp about Baekhyuns trauma, but it will be explained!! 
> 
> Also, I’m just jumping around some Walking Dead things, anything you’d like to see?


	9. Treat Me Softly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anger, and smut.

Baekhyun had been staring out the truck door for what felt like weeks, it had been days, but it felt so much longer.

“If you think you’re hating everything right now.” Sehun laughed to himself and poked Taeyongs nose. “Sunmi is riding with Jinhyuk, we’re the lucky ones!”

“That Hyung is so mean.” Taeyong giggled, fingers toying with a rubix cube Mark had given him in Kyungsoo's lap.

Baekhyun laughed softly and looked at Chanyeol who was driving, reaching over and curling his hand over the top of the elders, turning to look back into the backseat. “Do you say that about me too? ‘Oh, Hyung is so mean!’”

Taeyong laughed, his fingers reaching over a sleeping Jongin's lap to grab the water bottle from the door. “Baek Hyung isn’t mean though, he’s nice to everyone.”

“Yeah, Baekhyunnie is very nice, I agree with you.” Kyungsoo smirked and pressed a kiss to Taeyongs hair.

“Ugh you guys disgust me.” Sehun groaned, “Someone knock me out.”

“That can be arranged.” Chanyeol said immediately, “You’re only eighteen, Hunnie, give it some time. You don’t need to be worrying about finding your soulmate.”

Baekhyun smiled when Chanyeol brought his hand to his lips and pressed a soft kiss to his knuckles. “I didn’t find mine until I was twenty six, so shut up.”

“Okay, but you worried about it all the time, ‘What if my soulmate died?’ ‘What if he can’t find me?’” Sehun mocked.

Baekhyun snorted and saw Chanyeol's ears flush red at the teasing. “Yah! I’ll beat your ass, man.”

“Oh, please.” Sehun smirked and looked out the backseat window. “You probably were masturbating to your fantas-“

“Hey! Hey! Kid here!” Kyungsoo cried, hitting Sehun on the shoulder.

Sehun laughed and shook his head, “You want to hear embarrassing stories about Hyung, come to me Baekhyun Hyung.”

Baekhyun's face was a bright red, probably not more than Chanyeol's, but his heart raced as he laid his cheek against the center console in embarrassment, pulling his legs into his seat with him.

Chanyeol cleared his throat awkwardly and laid his hand on Baekhyun's hair. “Don’t listen to him, he only says bullshit.”

“Really? You think I couldn’t hear you in the bat-“ Sehun was cut off by a hard punch to his arm, “Fuck, Soo Hyung goddamn, I’m done! I’m done!” He whined.

“Babe.” Chanyeol muttered quietly, thumb running over Baekhyun's cheekbone, “You don’t- don’t listen to him.”

Baekhyun laughed quietly as Chanyeol turned the music up to drown out the people in the backseat. “It’s okay.” He smiled and sat up, grabbing Chanyeol's hand that wasn’t holding the wheel. “I’m not a child, Yeol. I know things.”

“I know.” The elder frowned and spared a glance at his soulmate for a second, “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m not.” Baekhyun frowned and leaned over the console to press a kiss to his soulmate's jaw. “I’m not, we can talk later.”

“Okay, I love you.” Chanyeol responded softly, pressing another kiss to Baekhyun's fingers. “Love you, baby.”

Baekhyun chewed his lip and scanned Chanyeol's side profile, “I adore you, Hyung.”

~~~~~~~

“Oh thank god!”

Baekhyun yawned and slid out of the truck, turning to watch Jongin pull Taeyong out of the tall vehicle.

“Holy fuck, ground!” Sehun added dramatically.

“Shut the fuck up.” Kyungsoo growled, moving around the truck to wrap an arm around Baekhyun's waist.

Baekhyun smiled and dug his nose into Kyungsoo's neck, feeling his soulmate run fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck.

“We’ll rest here for the night, take off again in the morning.” Junmyeon explained aloud. “We can rearrange seating if you guys would like, Sunmi you look very cheerful.” He added sarcastically.

“Peachy.” She snarled.

“I’ll ride with Noona!” Taeyong giggled and ran over on short legs to grab her waist, “Noona can I ride with you!”

She beamed, “Of course, you can put your toys in the backseat if you want- if that’s okay with your brother.” She added as an afterthought.

Baekhyun only gave her a thumbs up over Kyungsoo's shoulder.

“Noona, I’m riding too then, Taeyong loves me.” Sehun added.

“Who said that, Hyung?” Baekhyun laughed into Kyungsoo's neck at Taeyongs question.

Sehun gawked, “You little shit, tell Hyung you love him, now!” He yelled before running up to the kid and roughing him up gently, enticing Taeyongs laughter.

“Baby, want to come with me to scout the area?” Baekhyun frowned at Chanyeol's tone before nodding and pressing his mouth to Kyungsoo's.

“Okay.” He whispered, turning to accept the eldests hand, “Where to?”

“Hey, if you guys see anything useful or water, let us know.” Yixing reached out and grabbed Chanyeol's wrist, “We’re running low on supplies already, I think we were too nice, we left too many.”

Chanyeol nodded, “Got it.”

Baekhyun wrapped his arm around Chanyeol's and pulled him towards the side of the woods, humming to himself as they walked through trees and green shrubbery.

This area looked empty, extremely empty. But something about it looked familiar.

“Babe, let me talk to you.” Chanyeol requested softly, stopping Baekhyun in his tracks.

Baekhyun sighed, “If this is about what Sehun said-“

“Baek, I’m really sorry, I’m going to tell him not to make such jokes.”

Baekhyun suddenly felt angry, more angry than he had in a while as he pulled his arm out of Chanyeol's. “I’m not a kid, Chanyeol.”

The elder frowned as if genuinely confused, “I’m not saying you are, Baek. But saying things like that… it won’t be good for your recovery.”

Baekhyun scoffed and took a step back, “What recovery? There’s nothing to recover from, it’s been years Chanyeol, years. I’m tired of you guys walking on eggshells around me, fuck. I should’ve… I wish I never told you.”

“We don’t, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol denied, reaching out to grab Baekhyun's hand, “Baekhyun, we don’t need to fight, I just don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”

Baekhyun laughed humorlessly and pulled his hand from Chanyeol's grip, running it through his greasy hair. “You guys think anything even remotely sexual makes me uncomfortable. Do you think I want to be like this forever? You guys always shelter me, I don’t want that!”

He scoffed in disbelief and turned to kick at the grass. “You think I don’t realize how men are supposed to be? You think I don’t want you guys? It’s been two or more months Chanyeol, of course I want you guys.

Soulmates usually consummate meeting the first week. I told you… I said I didn’t know if I could ever touch you, but that's… not true, I want you to touch me, I just… I just want to be careful, I don’t want to hurt anymore.”

“Baekhyun, you said you didn’t even know what arousal was, I can’t… we can’t explain to you or do anything with you when you don’t even fully know what’s happening.” Chanyeol said gently.

“I also said I was in high school, I know now!” Baekhyun yelled, turning around to look up at Chanyeol. “You don’t think… I’ve touched myself Chanyeol… I, I feel ridiculous even telling you this.”

“You’ve been molested since you were a child, Baek-“

“I’m tired of you guys reminding me!” Baekhyun screamed, not even caring the others could probably hear them as he grabbed Chanyeol's shirt aggressively, “Everytime you say that it makes me feel like you don’t listen to anything I’m saying, you told me that anything you guys do goes at my pace, mine. But then when I want something more, even if I want to kiss for longer, to do anything- you start this up!”

“Baby.” Chanyeol sighed and grabbed Baekhyun's cheek. “We don’t want to scare you, we don’t want-“

“Oh fuck you!” The younger cried, pushing Chanyeol in the chest, “Fuck you, I try to get over anything and you guys just throw it back at me and reject me! Fuck, I know you’re scared, I’m fucking scared! But I can’t be like this forever! God just- just shut up!”

Baekhyun cried and hit Chanyeol in the chest as the elder pulled him down into his lap, “We want you too, baby, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, we didn’t know.”

“I’m so mad at you Chanyeol.” Baekhyun sniffed and hit his shoulder, “I’ve been… I’ve been forced to do things, Hyung… I-I think I learned more about sex than I did anything in school, but I-I still want you, I want… to learn better things. You’re not him, you guys aren’t him.”

“Shhh, my love, my heart. I know, of course we aren’t. We wouldn’t make you do anything, ever.” Chanyeol pressed soft kisses to Baekhyun's temple, pulling him to straddle one of his thighs. “You do what you want, Baekhyun. Nobody will ever tell you anything ever again.”

“Stop telling me that.” Baekhyun growled and stared at Chanyeol, “I’m done hearing that. You don’t listen to me anyways.” He added, moving to climb off his lap.

“Hey.” The elder grabbed his sleeve gently and looked at him beggingly, “Don’t leave when we’re arguing, we have to make up first, Baekhyun. I don’t want you to leave when you’re mad.”

“No, you don’t listen to me anyways, you just keep telling me the same things- the same things Kyungsoo tells me, the same things Jongin tells me. Stop telling me! I want you to want me.” Baekhyun's face expressed anger as he shoved Chanyeol's chest so he rested in the grass, “Listen to me!”

Chanyeol frowned and cupped Baekhyun's face, rubbing his thumb across his jaw as the smaller glared down at him. “I’m listening, Baekhyun. I’m listening now.”

Baekhyun huffed an angry breath before leaning down and connecting his mouth to Chanyeol's, fingers tight in the elders hair as he kissed him aggressively.

Chanyeol groaned as Baekhyun bit down on his lip, the sounds of their mouths meeting and heavy breathing loud in their ears. “Baek.” He sighed into the youngers mouth, “I do want you, we want you.”

Baekhyun pulled his mouth away with a popping noise and began pressing his lips down the elders neck. “Let me try, just… let me touch you, Chanyeol.” He whispered, sucking gently at a spot beneath Chanyeol's ear. “Hyung, please.”

Chanyeol grunted out a moan when Baekhyun left a dark hickey in his neck and nodded, “Okay, okay. You stop whenever you want, you don’t need to-“

“Shut up.” Baekhyun growled and pushed his shoulders back down in the grass, “Just shut up.”

“Wait.” The elder whispered, fingers grabbing Baekhyun's that rested at the edge of his shirt, “Wait, look at me, look at me please.”

Baekhyun made an annoyed sound as Chanyeol grabbed his chin and sat up onto his elbow to look at him. “I love you, I love you baby. I just wanted to look at you.” Chanyeol said softly, “You know I love you, right? Love you so much, Baekhyun.”

The younger felt all of his anger dissipate as he licked his mouth and nodded, turning his head to press his lips to Chanyeol's fingers. “I know, I know Hyung. It’s not the same, this isn’t the same.”

Chanyeol smiled as Baekhyun pressed a kiss to his fingers and then sat back on his thigh, little fingers pushing Chanyeol's shirt up his abs.

Baekhyun chewed his lip, eyes flickering up to look at Chanyeol as he reached for the elders jean button, fingers fumbling for a moment as he moved to kneel between the elders legs.

Baekhyun unzipped the fabric and started pulling them down, hearing Chanyeol's heavy breathing as he sat up on his elbows to watch the younger.

After a few moments, Baekhyun had successfully pulled Chanyeol's pants down to mid thigh and leaned down to press his lips to Chanyeol's defined stomach, soft kisses around his hips as his eyes stayed on the elders.

He licked over his red mouth as he watched Chanyeol close his eyes as he cupped his growing erection, massaging his length through his boxers.

Baekhyun smiled at the reaction, his mouth moving lower, the dark hair peeking out from his boxers tickling Baekhyun's chin.

“Hey, you don’t need to, don-“

“Don’t tell me what to do.” Baekhyun interrupted quietly, “You said I could do what I wanted.”

Chanyeol groaned in response, sucking his lip into his mouth as Baekhyun pulled his boxers out of the way.

Not that Baekhyun really had room to judge, or even care, but Chanyeol was big everywhere, his height, his muscles, and apparently even his cock.

Baekhyun never understood the appeal, but he also had never really understood how people liked to have sex, but just watching his soulmate writhe in pleasure made him aroused too. He felt okay, he felt safe. He knew if he stopped right now that would be it, Chanyeol would accept immediately, he had an out- he wasn’t trapped when he had a choice.

His thumb toyed with the tip of Chanyeol's erection, smearing the substance around before he knelt down to place his cheek onto his soulmates thigh, feeling Chanyeol's fingers comb through his hair, minuscule thrusts into Baekhyun's hand and quiet moans.

Baekhyun didn’t feel a rush, there was no reason to when he felt so safe.

“Come here.” Chanyeol requested with a pant, sitting up and reaching down to pull his jeans off one leg.

Baekhyun laughed quietly as the elder pulled him onto his lap, straddling Chanyeol's thigh.

“I want to see you, baby.” Chanyeol explained, adjusting Baekhyun on his leg and then moaning when Baekhyun reached for his erection. “You’re doing so well, sweetheart. Love you so much, hm?” He whispered, eyes searching Baekhyun's before pressing a wet kiss to his mouth. “My baby, my precious Baekhyun, love you.”

Baekhyun accepted the kisses to his face with a smile, hand stroking Chanyeol's length before he felt a pang of excitement flow through him, a high pitched sound coming from his mouth when Chanyeol flexed his thigh between his.

The younger flustered, hands gripping Chanyeol's shirt with fingers wet with precum as he moaned into Chanyeol's ear.

“Oh, my moon. You like that? That feel good?” The elder whispered softly, hands moving to hold Baekhyun's hips down when the younger squealed softly. “Sound so pretty, look so pretty, babe. Hyungs love you so much.”

Baekhyun's hips stuttered as Chanyeol guided his motion, moving the smallers knee so it brushed his exposed erection. “Just like this, baby. Just like this. You’re so beautiful.”

“Hyung…” Baekhyun whined, pressing his forehead to Chanyeol's shoulder, “Hyun-g, Hyung, feels good.”

Chanyeol smiled and guided Baekhyun's face back to his, “Keep going, just like this, baby.” He praised.

Baekhyun let out a rather loud noise before turning to muffle his sounds against Chanyeol's mouth, the elder rubbing over his hips through his clothes, the friction of Baekhyun's pants rubbing the younger and elders erections.

“G-fuck, fuck, baby. I’m gonna cum, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol mumbled against Baekhyun's mouth, bucking his hips up as Baekhyun grinded against his thigh, hips circling as the younger moaned against his skin.

“Chany-eol, Chan-“ Baekhyun made such a pretty noise as he came Chanyeol could only hold his hips still as he mouthed at Baekhyun's cheek, whispering encouragement and praise as he went.

Chanyeol laughed and turned to drop Baekhyun onto his back, “Did so well, baby. Love you, so much.”

Baekhyun panted, laughing quietly as Chanyeol sat back to adjust his pants back up to his hips, pulling his outer shirt off to clean himself off. “Yeah?”

“Yes, you’re so beautiful.” The elder said gently, “I told you we wanted you, do you feel better? Hyungs love you so much, Baekhyun.” He moved to lay himself between Baekhyun's legs, holding himself up on his palms beside the youngers head.

“I wanted you.” Baekhyun's face was still flushed pretty and Chanyeol couldn't help himself from pressing his mouth to his cheek. “I wanted you, Hyung. I’m sorry for yelling.”

Chanyeol smiled and shook his head, his nose brushing Baekhyun's, “It’s okay, you were right. We’re too overprotective, you would tell us if it’s too much.”

“I will, I promise.”

“Okay, now let’s clean you up, hm?” Chanyeol asked, fingers holding Baekhyun's waistband, “You can do it yourself baby, but I want to take care of you. Can I?”

“I trust you.” Baekhyun whispered, gulping as Chanyeol's fingertips skimmed the soft skin of his hip. “Trust you, Hyung.”

Chanyeol smiled and pressed an extra kiss to Baekhyun's swollen mouth before gently pulling his pants down, tossing the sweatpants to the side.

“Just have to get new boxers at camp.” Baekhyun mumbled, embarrassed as he kicked his boxers off.

“Fuck, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol sighed and ran his thumb over a few scars on his inner thigh, they had seen Baekhyun when he changed, they had seen his pale, soft skin, but not this close, not so privately.

Baekhyun gulped and reached for Chanyeol's dirty shirt to wipe himself off. “They're old.”

“They don’t hurt?” Chanyeol asked, his eyes looking over the youngers hips, no intention other than to look for more. “I thought you said he didn’t hurt you.”

“I said he didn’t hit me.” Baekhyun said softly, “Those are… they're… you don’t need to know, pass me my pants please.”

“They’re teeth, Baekhyun. You-I- you didn’t say it was this… this…” Chanyeol felt his tears falling even as Baekhyun blocked his searching eyes to pull his pants on.

“Don’t cry.” Baekhyun whispered, crawling on his knees to wrap his arms around Chanyeol's neck, “I’m not crying so you shouldn’t cry.”

Chanyeol gulped and pulled the smaller fully in his grip, “I love you, I love you.” His fingers shook as he tangled them in Baekhyun's hair, “I’ll only ever be nice to you, baby. Only ever say good things to you, I’m never going to be so horrible.”

“I only want you to be easy with me.” The younger responded with a quiet sigh, “Just treat me like this, unless I say, just treat me softly, please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here I am with my psychology degree to explain some of Baekhyun’s behavior.
> 
> Childhood sexual abuse has a number of things that become apparent in adulthood, and two of the more common extremes are often being overly promiscuous or dissociating with any sexual contact at all. I’m kind of just feeling out how Baekhyun should be, but he is overwhelmingly curious about a lot of things. Also, this AU has a bit of fantasy aspects with the soulmate marks etc, so he does feel differently/safer with them more than anything.


	10. Not A Sweet Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A pit stop.

It was a bit embarrassing when the two went back to camp.

They smelled like sex, they were sure, but nobody really commented, or asked.

“There’s a town, just over this bridge, we need to scavenge.” Yifan pointed out, a map sitting on top of the car.

Baekhyun rubbed the sleep from his eyes and leaned back against Jongin's chest as he watched Kyungsoo and Chanyeol leaning over to look at the map.

“We’ll lead.” Kyungsoo commented, “You guys can just follow us.”

“Okay, we can split up in a residential area and search homes, maybe everyone can rest in a bed tonight.” Yixing agreed, rolling up the map, “Let’s go before we lose daylight.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes when he saw Taeyong climbing into the back of the car Junmyeon was driving, slightly annoyed his brother kept jumping cars, but he knew everyone liked Taeyong, found his presence soothing.

“You want the front or the back.” Jongin murmured, pressing his mouth to Baekhyun's jaw.

Baekhyun blushed and ducked his head, turning to wrap his arms around his soulmates neck and whispering under his breath. “Need to change.”

Jongin burst into laughter as he picked Baekhyun up, arms beneath his back and knees, “Are you seducing me, little duck? We didn’t hear what happened last night, you want to elaborate?”

The younger flushed and let out an annoyed huff, pressing his nose into Jongin's jaw. “Don’t tease me.”

“Oh I’m not teasing, love.” Jongin shuffled Baekhyun's weight around when Kyungsoo suddenly pushed the backseat door open from the inside. “It’s a genuine question.”

Baekhyun felt his face burn as Jongin set him in, the elder shutting the door and climbing into the driver seat.

Baekhyun pulled the duffel bag into his lap as he felt Jongin start the car and heard Chanyeol climbing into the passenger seat.

“Head west, there should be a road directly over the bridge, a few feet north.” He heard the eldest instruct.

“You looking for clothes, baby?” Kyungsoo asked softly, watching Baekhyun dig in the duffel bag.

Baekhyun sent him a flushed smile and nodded, “Yes, Soo.”

“You should just stay like that.” Chanyeol turned around in his seat to look back at him, “You smell good.”

“I smell like sweat.” Baekhyun argued.

“You smell like Chanyeol.” Kyungsoo corrected, “What’d you guys do? I expected an explanation last night, but you both passed out.”

“Our soulmate wanted to try something, we didn’t have sex, if that’s what you were wondering.” Chanyeol explained, “He’s very pretty though, sounds even prettier.”

“We heard you guys yelling, not really distinguishable, but we were worried.” Jongin said quietly.

Baekhyun frowned and pulled his shirt off, changing it for a new one before grabbing his boxers and jeans. “We’re okay, I was just… I overreacted.”

“You didn’t overreact.” The eldest disagreed. “You were right, we are being too careful. If you say you’re okay, then you’re okay.”

“What are you guys talking about, we’re out of the loop.” Kyungsoo raised a brow, eyes on Baekhyun's small form changing beside him in the truck.

“Baek thought we didn’t want him, because everytime he did anything or asked for more than kissing we told him no.” Chanyeol sighed and sent Baekhyun an apologetic look.

Baekhyun only pulled the long shirt over his front as he slid off his pants, pretending he didn’t notice the men eyeing the soft pale skin. He didn’t mind, in fact they didn’t look lustful, but the windows were only tinted slightly.

“We want you, Baekhyun.” Jongin added, looking in the rearview mirror.

“I meant… like sexually.” Baekhyun said under his breath as he pulled jeans on, “You love me, I know. But I wanted to try things and you guys always pushed me away. I’m not broken, you know.”

“Of course you aren’t.” Kyungsoo said immediately, pulling Baekhyun under his arm, “You’re not broken, baby, and we do want you like that too, anything at all.”

Baekhyun laughed off his blush and curled his head under Kyungsoo's chin. “Good.”

“Good?” Jongin laughed, “We say we want your little self all flushed prettily and you say good.”

“Oh it is pretty.” Chanyeol groaned and laid his head back against his seat. “I told him once he didn’t have to call me Hyung, but I think that’s all I want to hear now.”

Baekhyun giggled, “Good and…. me too?” He added, pressing his cheek to Kyungsoo's collarbone and looking out the window.

“Good and me too.” Jongin mimicked with a smirk, “Ugh, you’re so cute.”

“You’re so good at getting us worked up.” Kyungsoo teased, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's head.

Baekhyun smiled and tilted his head up for a kiss that was given immediately before leaning over and looking out the window.

“You want details?” He heard Chanyeol teasing and mostly blocked him out knowing he was just trying to see him blush.

Instead, Baekhyun rested his cheekbone to Kyungsoo's shoulder as he stared out the window.

Trees flew by and the car jumped as they passed over a bridge. Baekhyun found himself frowning as they passed over a few buildings, peeling and faded, but mostly untouched.

“I know where we are.” He stated, getting off Kyungsoo's lap and leaning hazardously over the middle console, ignoring their scolding as he pointed. “Turn right.”

“Babe, sit down.” Kyungsoo said softly, holding Baekhyun's hips still.

“Go straight four blocks, and then left, there’s a school on the corner, then you can park.”

“Babe.” Chanyeol frowned and turned to touch Baekhyun's hair, “Where are we?”

Baekhyun watched the road the whole time, “My town.”

“Then we’re not stopping here, absolutely not.” Kyungsoo argued, pulling Baekhyun to sit back. “Jongin keep driving, don’t stop.”

“No, there’s supplies, I swear. When we left it wasn’t cleaned out- a lot of people turned and didn’t have a chance, we do. Jongin, stop here, you can park here.” Baekhyun ordered, already moving towards the door.

“Hey, hey, hold on.” Kyungsoo said immediately, reaching out to grab his wrist. “Chill, baby, calm down.”

“I will tell you if I’m uncomfortable, okay?” Baekhyun snapped, “I will tell you.”

“Okay.” Kyungsoo frowned and pressed a kiss to his hair, “Okay, sweetheart.”

Baekhyun sighed in relief and opened the truck door, immediately going behind the truck to speak to the people getting out of cars. “This place should have a lot of supplies, we should split up.”

“You want to take a place to stay the night in?” Minseok asked, locking the car.

“Taeyong, come here.” Baekhyun heard Jongin order over his shoulder and saw Taeyong run over. “We'll take the light blue house on the corner, walkers shouldn’t be so bad here.” Baekhyun added.

“Then we’ll take the ones beside it, we meet up here tomorrow morning, first thing.” Yifan nodded and grabbed his gun, “Be careful, stick together.”

“I’m going with you guys, Jinhyuk is useless.” Sunmi groaned, latching onto Sehun's arm, “We’ll go with Yifan, give you guys some alone time.” She wiggled her brows at Kyungsoo who sighed and grabbed a metal poker stick from the back of the truck as a weapon.

Baekhyun only smiled politely and grabbed his knife from his pocket, “Come on, this way.”

“Hyung!” Taeyong smiled and wiggled out of Jongin's grip to grab Baekhyun's hand, “We’re going home?”

“Baekhyun…” Chanyeol warned softly.

“Hyung told you we would come back for your things, didn't I?” Baekhyun ignored him, swinging Taeyongs hand in his.

Baekhyun pulled Taeyong passed a few stray walkers, but otherwise the town seemed mostly empty.

Baekhyun could hear the three whispering behind him and rolled his eyes, turning to kick a walker that got too close for comfort.

They were all starving here, easy to take down, limbs were already falling apart. Time was killing them, decomposing the already dead.

Taeyong bounced in excitement despite the fact that walkers were slowly crawling around towards their footsteps.

“Let me go first.” Baekhyun ordered, pulling Taeyong behind him as they walked up the steps. “You let me check it first.”

Baekhyun didn’t wait for a response, holding his knife as he pushed open the door.

But the house looked untouched, unscavenged by ravagers, it looked just as Baekhyun had left it, clean.

“You can come in.” He called towards the door, “It’s fine.”

Taeyong burst in immediately, “Hyung! I’m going to pack things I want.”

Baekhyun snorted and patted the back of his head, “Only what you need.” Taeyong rolled his eyes and disappeared down the hall, “I know!”

“So this was it, huh?” Jongin asked gently, shutting and locking the deadbolt behind him.

Baekhyun licked his lips and nodded, turning towards the kitchen and pulling pantries open. “This was it.”

He felt the floor creaking as Kyungsoo walked over to him, laying his backpack down. “Anything good?”

“Lots of cans.” The younger replied, “You guys can go look around.”

“We want you to show us, Baek. We can pack up later.” Chanyeol replied, fingers brushing over dusty books by the front door.

Baekhyun sighed and climbed to his feet, setting the cans he found onto the counter, “Okay.” He pulled his backpack off and kicked off his shoes. “I wanted to search for things anyways.”

Jongin frowned at his disconnected tone and intertwined his fingers with Baekhyun's as he started to move down the hall.

Baekhyun reached out to pull open a door at the end of the hall, bypassing the one that was obviously Taeyongs, stickers littering the wooden door.

“You were curious, right?” Baekhyun mumbled and stepped into the room. “Where it always happened.”

“Baekhyun.” Jongin whispered, hand trying to stop Baekhyun from walking into the room, but he had already let go.

There was a blood stain on the ground, obviously based on Baekhyun's story. The tan carpet only stained in that area, the bed made like someone had cleaned up.

“I didn’t want Taeyong to know.” Baekhyun whispered, walking over to a desk in the corner and pulling out a wooden box. “He would have been scared back then, and maybe… maybe in a few years I’ll tell him the truth, but he doesn’t need to know now.”

“He doesn’t need to know ever, if you don’t want him too.” Chanyeol replied, turning to lean against the wall.

Baekhyun laughed, shook his head, pulling a revolver out of the box and loading it with the six silver bullets from the container. “Here.” He held it out towards them, “One of you guys can have it, I think I like snipers better.”

Kyungsoo gently accepted the gun, a worried expression printed equally on the elder soulmates faces as Baekhyun sat on the edge of the bed.

“In the top of the closet, there’s some more ammo.” He added, picking his nails, “Might be other useful things too.”

Chanyeol walked over to the closer door and began digging.

“We wanted to see your room, not… not this.” Jongin whispered, looking like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to sit beside Baekhyun or if the thought made him angry.

“Was in here more than in my own room.” Baekhyun muttered, “I’m sorry, I’ll stop.”

Kyungsoo tsked and moved to stand between Baekhyun's legs, pulling his cheek to rest against his hip. “It’s okay, we’re only worried about you.”

“I killed him here.” Baekhyun curled his hands around the back of Kyungsoo's thighs, “I’m not scared, he’s dead.”

“And you’re here.” Baekhyun whispered. “It’s like the ultimate fuck you, you know? Like… like I have soulmates and he always told me I never would… that-that I wouldn’t, so that’s why I wanted you to come here.”

“That’s right, babe.” Jongin said gently, “A huge fuck you, he was wrong, and he was sick.”

Baekhyun laughed quietly, his fingers tapping on Kyungsoo's jeans, “A lot of memories, but I feel okay right now.”

“Your hands are shaking, I don’t know if that counts as okay.” Chanyeol pointed out, a box of ammo in his hand.

“Oh.” The youngest in the room muttered, “It’s just… it’s a lot you know, last time I was in here… I killed someone. I can remember everything.”

“Well it’s not easy to forget.” Kyungsoo said quietly, kneeling down to press a kiss to Baekhyun's forehead.

Baekhyun gave a soft smile at the attention before laying back and looking up at the ceiling. He felt like the room was spinning, he had looked up at these ceilings so many times, maybe he could remember how many grooves there were, how many discolored spots there were.

“Be good Baekhyun.” He whispered to himself, almost silent. “Just a little while longer.”

“Baby.” Jongin said quietly, leaning over the side of the bed and blocking his view of the ceiling, “Are you okay?”

Baekhyun nodded and reached his hand up to touch his soulmate's cheek. “I’m okay, I’m always okay.”

“You can’t always be okay.” Kyungsoo pressed a palm to Baekhyun's knee as he copied his position, if only to snap him out of it.

“I used to just stare, right there, you see that mark on the ceiling.” Baekhyun turned on his side and pointed up, resting his cheek on Kyungsoo's shoulder, “Everyday, I just stared.”

Kyungsoo felt his eyes watering as he cupped Baekhyun's cheek, “Baby, stop.”

“It’s disgusting right.” Baekhyun laughed humorlessly and threw his arm over his eyes. “Because I’m a whore and I’m easy.”

“Stop, Baekhyun, please.” Jongin's voice cracked as he ran gentle fingers through Baekhyun's hair, leaning over him even though Baekhyun wasn’t listening.

“You said I should let it out, that I should tell you.” Baekhyun responded quietly.

“It hurts, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol sounded like he was crying, and it made Baekhyun feel sad, the first thing he’d really felt since they walked in. “Doesn’t it hurt you?”

The youngest laughed darkly, “I can remember everything Chanyeol, of course it hurts. I was the one being pinned to this very bed, being-being told horrible, v-vicious things!

Hold still, it makes it better. Stop moving, you’ll wake up your brother. Oh, you’re bleeding, clean up.” He mocked.

Suddenly, Baekhyun felt himself being lifted up and immediately moved to wrap his arms around Kyungsoo's neck.

“You’re done, Baekhyun. Nobody touches you unless you want it, you don’t… you don’t need to be scared.” Kyungsoo sniffed into his hair and allowed Chanyeol and Jongin in front to open one of the two unlooked in doors.

One was the bathroom, so that was off the list quickly.

“I’m not scared.” Baekhyun whispered, “I’m not afraid anymore.”

Kyungsoo laid him down when they opened the other door, this one looked more like Baekhyun. It had personality, albeit a bit empty for a room that was supposed to be lived in.

His soulmates looked more relaxed though, actually taking time to look around,. Baekhyun sat up on his elbow as he watched Jongin walk into his connecting bathroom, hearing him digging through cabinets.

“We should pack your clothes, ones that actually fit.” Chanyeol commented, digging inside Baekhyun's closet.

“I like wearing yours, Hyung.” Baekhyun argued.

Chanyeol looked over his shoulder at him and Baekhyun could see the reflecting tear stains, dried. “I like you wearing them too.” He smiled and pulled out a handful of shirts, “But one day you’re going to get caught on something, just watch, I’m calling it.”

Baekhyun heard the familiar rushing of Taeyongs feet and snorted when he saw Jongin jump at the sudden entrance, “Hyung, the water is still on!”

“Good, go take a shower, you stink.” Kyungsoo teased, pushing Taeyongs head away jokingly.

Taeyong scrunched his nose up, “You’re right.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes because Kyungsoo wasn’t right, he was sure they smelled way worse than Taeyong who was too young to even get body odor yet.

“Alright, little ass kicker, go shower and I’ll make dinner. Don’t take too long, we all need to shower too.” Baekhyun sighed and slid off the bed.

“Okay!” Taeyong exclaimed, turning to run back down the hall.

“There should be clothes that would fit you guys around here.” Baekhyun said softly, moving over to his dresser, “I always liked big clothes… maybe you guys can find things that fit.”

“Okay, babe, we’ll look.” Kyungsoo smiled, “You want to shower first?”

“No, I’m gonna make dinner, you guys clean up.” He smiled and pressed a kiss to Kyungsoo's cheek, “I’ll be back.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m adding a smut interlude next, I kept it separate just in case people wanted to skip, it's not very plot heavy, but some people may not like it because of Baekhyun’s past since the line of him feeling obligated to be intimate is kind of blurred and no, it’s not sex.


	11. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun is an unreliable narrator.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole chapter is smut.

Baekhyun hadn’t been in a real shower in what felt like forever. And even though the water was limited, and they had to take breaks, he was happy to be cleaned.

Being here, it had a lot of memories, good and bad, but he wanted to cover up the bad ones with the good- never get rid of them, but he could try to forget them.

And that’s why he wanted to make new ones, in his old home. Have some more good ones to add to his growing collection.

He was nervous, of course he was, they were so protective of him, so scared to even look at him too long sometimes. But he was okay, or, at least he felt okay.

Baekhyun wrung his hair out in his towel, smiling as he heard his soulmates laughter in his bedroom, just on the other side of the door.

He wrapped the towel around his waist and glanced at the foggy mirror, wiping off the condensation.

He looked better than he remembered. Maybe it was because he was happier now, he felt better. But he still didn’t like looking too long, he already knew what he looked like, he didn’t need to constantly keep looking.

Baekhyun chewed his lip and felt his heart racing as he pulled the door open, ready to face rejection. He would understand, he would also probably cry, but that was okay too.

“Hey, baby. Taeyong is already asleep. We put him to bed.” Chanyeol smiled at him and Baekhyun smiled nervously, hand running through his damp hair.

“What’s wrong?” Kyungsoo stopped laughing immediately, “You have that look on your face.”

Baekhyun laughed and felt his skin goosing up. “I… uh-you don’t have to, but I was… I was thinking… I want, I want you guys to touch me.”

He felt himself blush all the way down his chest as he saw Jongin immediately look at his towel and saw shock in both Chanyeol and Kyungsoo's eyes.

“Come here.” Jongin whispered, moving towards the end of the bed and spreading his knees when Baekhyun walked over.

Baekhyun couldn't read whether they were going to accept or not, and it was freaking him out.

Jongin laid a gentle palm on his ribs, running his thumb over the soft skin, “You sure?”

“Yes.” Baekhyun whispered, fingers running across Jongin's cheek, “Please.”

He saw Jongin lick his lip and lean up to press a kiss to his mouth before he felt fingers loosening his towel.

“Climb up here.” He heard Kyungsoo suggest, “We want to see you.”

Baekhyun smiled, having not heard or seen any signs of rejection as he moved onto the bed, the towel falling off as he laid down, Chanyeol moving a pillow beneath his head, and it was sweet, he was comfortable.

“You say stop and we stop.” Kyungsoo said softly, moving to kneel beside his head on the bed.

“Okay.” Baekhyun whispered, reaching up to pull Kyungsoo's mouth down onto his.

“God, you’re so fucking pretty.” Jongin said, and Baekhyun felt warm fingers running along his legs and let out a quiet moan when Kyungsoo licked into his mouth.

“I told you.” Chanyeol added, “He’s gorgeous.” He ran his hand along Baekhyun's waist, resting it on his navel, “I’ve never seen anyone this beautiful.”

Kyungsoo was kissing him loudly, like he wanted his full attention, eyes dark when he pulled back, running his thumb across Baekhyun's cheek. “I love you, we love you, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun licked his lips and let out a needy noise, “I know, please.”

He didn’t need to repeat himself, not when Chanyeol started pressing his mouth to Baekhyun's collarbones.

Baekhyun felt Jongin spreading his legs and bit his lip as he looked down, his soulmate pressing wet kisses to his hips, his thumb running over his inner thighs directly over the scars. But he didn’t say anything, Chanyeol probably told them anyways.

“Jongin.” He moaned, back arching, “Jongin please.”

“Shh.” The elder whispered, mouthing at his soft skin, “We got you, beautiful. My baby, our precious soulmate. We’ll take care of you.”

Baekhyun let out such a loud high pitched noise when Jongin wrapped his lips around his length that he was glad to see the doorknob locked, just in case.

“Oh, you sound so nice.” Kyungsoo smiled and mouthed down his chest, “Fuck, I want you to be louder, I wish you could.” He mumbled, hand thumbing over Baekhyun's nipples and making him writhe at the combined pleasure.

“Does he taste good?” Chanyeol asked, his huge hand moving around Baekhyun's waist, “You’re so pretty, all pink for us.”

“Fuck, he tastes good.” Jongin licked his lips and pressed a kiss to Baekhyun's tip, his palms holding his inner thighs apart carefully. “You like it, Baekhyun? Do you want us to stop?”

“More.” Baekhyun moaned, “More, I want more.”

“Move, I want to touch him.” Kyungsoo demanded, “Baek, what do you want? You need to tell us specifically.”

Baekhyun made an annoyed sound, fingers curling into Chanyeol's hair and keeping him against his neck, tongue running over the sensitive skin.

“Anything, Hyung.” Baekhyun muttered, “Fingers, I want-want..”

“Babe…” Jongin whispered quietly, moving to sit in Kyungsoo's spot, “You sure? You need to be sure.”

“Fuck, one of you just fucking do it.” Baekhyun cried, “Stop asking me and just do it.”

Chanyeol laughed hotly against his neck at the demand, “We don’t have lube.”

“There’s lotion, my side table, use it.” Baekhyun demanded, his hand going to reach for his soft pink, leaking erection. “Please.”

Kyungsoo watched his expression carefully as he coated his hand, running the other along Baekhyun's scarred thigh. He ran his finger along his soulmates perineum.

Chanyeol leaned over and pressed his mouth to the youngers, distracting him as Kyungsoo pushed the tip of his finger in. Baekhyun gasped into his mouth, saliva dripping from the corner of their lips.

“Fuck, you gotta relax, sweetheart.” Kyungsoo said gently, pressing his mouth around Baekhyun's thighs, sucking into the flesh gently, “Relax, baby, relax.”

“Baekhyunnie, look at Hyung, it’s just us.” Jongin whispered in his ear, mouth pressing to Baekhyun's jaw, “It’s just us, you’re okay, baby.”

Chanyeol licked the side of Baekhyun's mouth before moving down to place his head on Baekhyun's ribs, hand soothing down his soulmates hips.

“That’s it, love.” Kyungsoo cooed, slowly wiggling his finger in, “It will feel good in just a second.”

Baekhyun squealed, turning his head to pant into Jongin's hair as Kyungsoo pressed into his prostate.

“Fuck- this- Hyung.. Hyung.” He moaned, hips getting held down as Kyungsoo fingered into him.

“That’s it, sugar.” Kyungsoo praised, “Fuck, you look so good, love you so much.”

“Ngh, Hyun-gs!” Baekhyun whimpered into Jongin's mouth, the elder sucking Baekhyun's swollen lips in between his teeth and muffling his whines.

Kyungsoo smirked into his thigh, sucking into his soft flesh as he added another finger carefully.

“Perfect, baby.” Chanyeol cooed, his long hand wrapping around Baekhyun's length, his hand swallowing the pink erection, “Cum for us, sweetheart. You look gorgeous, doing so well for us.”

“Mmm, H-Hyung.” Baekhyun whined, rolling his hips back and forth, fingers curled almost painfully into Jongin's hair, holding the elder to his mouth. “G-good, ah- good, so good.”

“You gonna cum for us, soulmate?” Jongin murmured, wet lips trailing the others, saliva stringing between them, “Come on, baby. Hyungs want to see you feel good, honey. So good, so pretty, Baekhyun. Come on, you’re so good.” He swooned, tasting more of his soulmate on his tongue than his own saliva, and it pleased him.

And then, Chanyeol pressed his thumb into Baekhyun's slit right as Kyungsoo pressed up into his prostate and his face contorted in pleasure, an almost silent moan falling into Jongin's mouth, quickly swallowed up.

“So fucking beautiful.” Kyungsoo murmured, pressing a lingering kiss to Baekhyun's thigh as he reached for the towel on the floor, wiping his hands off.

“Fuck.” Chanyeol cried before wiping his finger through the cum and putting it in his mouth with a deep moan of approval, “Fuck, you taste so fucking good.”

Jongin pulled away from Baekhyun's mouth with a loud noise of separation before moving down, “Let me try.” He whispered, pressing a few stray kisses to his soulmates chest before licking off the cum from his skin, gently licking off Baekhyun's tip until the younger moaned out in oversensitivity.

“You did so well, sweetheart.” Kyungsoo purred, moving to press a soft kiss to Baekhyun's mouth, “Was it okay? You feel okay?”

“Feel… good.” Baekhyun laughed dazed, combing his hand through Jongin's hair when the elder laid his head down on Baekhyun's stomach.

“Good, moon.” Chanyeol chirped happily, pulling the blanket from where it was kicked onto the floor, “That’s how it’s supposed to be.”

Baekhyun smiled and laid his head on Kyungsoo's chest, “It’s nice.”

“You’re the prettiest thing I’ve ever had the honor of seeing.” Jongin smiled cutely and moved to sit up, Baekhyun could see the erection straining in his pajamas.

“Do you want me..” Baekhyun whispered, his hands moving to Kyungsoo's waistband when he noticed that all of them were straining, could feel Chanyeol's against his thigh as the eldest laid a blanket over his naked form.

Kyungsoo grabbed his fingers, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “It’s okay, you’re tired. There’s no rush.”

“I’m tired.” Baekhyun admitted with a nod and could still taste Jongin in his mouth, “Later?”

“Maybe, babe.” Jongin called across the room, “Go to sleep, love you.” He added, shutting the bathroom door behind him as he disappeared inside.

Chanyeol laughed against Baekhyun's cheek, “Jongin can’t handle you, you’re too handsome, too good for us.” He flirted, pressing a kiss beside Baekhyun's drooping eyes.

“I think the same about you guys.” Baekhyun mumbled, already practically asleep, tired and warm.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I think Baekhyun is an unreliable narrator in the sense that he doesn’t fully disclose his reasoning for these sexual encounters. As mentioned before, abuse victims may act promiscuous, and many have high numbers of lovers in their lifetimes than people who did not encounter abuse, but Baekhyun is between being promiscuous and dissociating from sex.
> 
> So, do you think Baekhyun acts this way out of curiosity or out of an innate obligation he feels as a soulmate? Is he trying to prove himself to not be broken? 
> 
> Do you think he is an unreliable narrator?


	12. Journal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is it worth reading?

The boys had collected a lot of things from the house, tons of food, lots of water. They had practically filled up the back of the truck by the time Baekhyun had finally woke up.

He had slept a lot more than normal, probably because of the orgasm that had practically swept him to sleep immediately.

“Hey, little duck.” Jongin smiled over his shoulder and continued rolling clothes and throwing them in bags, “We cleared out most of the house, Taeyong is practicing shooting with Sunmi.”

Baekhyun hummed tiredly and sat up, running his hands over his wild hair as the blanket dropped down into his bare lap. “Hyungs?”

“They’re taking some boxes out, no need to worry.” Jongin looked over the love bites on their soulmate, “Come give me love, baby. You’re so cute in the morning.”

“Thought I was cute all the time.” Baekhyun commented with a shy smile as he dragged the blanket off the bed with him towards Jongin.

The elder pulled him down into his lap immediately, pressing a soft kiss to his still puffy mouth. “You are, it makes me crazy. You’re driving me insane you know.” He teased, pulling Baekhyun's head down to his chest before continuing sorting clothes he wanted to take with them.

“Me too.” Baekhyun whispered, blanket forgotten as he wrapped his arms around Jongin's waist, “Me too, Hyung.”

“So this is how it is now?” Jongin smiled down at his soulmates messy hair, running his hand down his bare spine. “I flirt with you and you throw in a ‘me too’ and suddenly my heart is racing?”

Baekhyun giggled into his shirt, looking up and pressing his chin to Jongin's chest, “Yes.”

“Yes?” Jongin teased, playfully sitting up on his knees and laying Baekhyun on the rug, “Not ‘yes Hyung’, not even a ‘yes Nini, you’re so nice!’”

The younger burst into giggles as Jongin nipped at his nose. “Yes, soulmate! So handsome!”

“That’s more like it.” The elder beamed, pressing quick kisses to Baekhyun's mouth, “You got handsome soulmates, hm? But you’re still the prettiest, the most handsome.”

“I think the same.” Chanyeol added deeply, grabbing Baekhyun's ankle playfully as he sat down, “Admit it, babe, I’m extremely handsome, but you’re even better.”

Baekhyun blushed and lighty kicked at Chanyeol as Jongin let him sit up, reaching out for him. “Hi.”

Chanyeol laughed at the shyness, “Hello, good morning, come to Hyung.” He cooed softly, pulling Baekhyun and the blanket attached to his hips to his chest.

Baekhyun smiled against Chanyeol's mouth before wrapping his arms around the eldests neck, laying his cheek on Chanyeol's neck, looking out the doorway.

“You have a good sleep?” He asked gently, pulling the blanket up Baekhyun's back, “You looked like it, our little monkey, stuck to us all night.”

“Slept good.” Baekhyun whispered, eyes lighting up as Kyungsoo walked in, gun strapped to his side and dressed cleanly. “Hyung, hello.”

Kyungsoo's eyes softened as he knelt down to press a kiss to Baekhyun's mouth, loud in Chanyeol's ear. “Hey, beauty. You look cheerful today.”

“I am, Hyung.”

“What’d we just say, doll?” Jongin teased, pulling some clothes out for Baekhyun, “I’m teaching you to flirt; you gotta study.”

“I think he’s good enough, even without meaning it.” Kyungsoo defended, pressing another kiss to Baekhyun's head before stepping around them.

Baekhyun pouted as he thought over Jongin's words, turning around in Chanyeol's lap, “I am in a good mood today, but seeing you made me feel better!” He smiled, ears red.

“That’s my boy,” Jongin praised, “Ah, I’m so proud, come here, babe.” He cooed, dragging him over.

“I take it back.” Kyungsoo laughed and picked up a bag of clothes, “Keep teaching him, I want to see where this goes.”

“I second that.” Chanyeol agreed, “Now it’s time to go, love.”

~~~~~~~

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and rebuckled Taeyongs seat belt, “Read, you know the rules, Tae. You do homework for at least an hour, you don’t get to play until then.”

Taeyong gave Baekhyun one of the dirtiest looks he could muster up. “I’m not a kid anymore.”

“You’re not even thirteen, you listen to me, Taeyong.” Baekhyun said firmly, “What’s gotten into you lately? You always listen to me.”

Taeyong huffed and turned his body towards the window, “Noona said I was becoming a good shot, why the hell do I need to learn this shit?”

“Don’t curse at your brother.” Chanyeol ordered, turning around in his seat. “You’re being rude today.”

“Why does it matter? All of you cuss, I can kill walkers, Hyung. Let me do what I want.” Taeyong whined, folding his arms childishly.

Baekhyun frowned and snatched the workbook from Taeyongs lap, “Fine, the next stop you ride with someone else. You can go run off and be a man since you suddenly want to be so badly.”

“Good.” The youngest grumbled. “I don’t want to see you anyways.”

Baekhyun gawked and grabbed his stomach. “What the fuck is your deal, Taeyong?” He felt Kyungsoo swerve the truck a little, probably stunned at the outburst. “Literally two days ago you were sweet and nice, what… what the fuck.”

“I found something.” Taeyong whispered under his breath, scratching his arm. “You… you lie.”

Baekhyun felt like his world was collapsing as Taeyong dug in his backpack, pulling out a familiar ragged book, the front cover peeling back.

“Did you read this?” He felt himself growing red in anger as he grabbed Taeyongs shoulder, “Did you read this?”

Taeyong curled his lip up in anger, the first time Baekhyun had ever seen such a face. “I read the first pages.”

“Pull over.” Baekhyun demanded, “Soo, pull over.”

“You said I ruined the family.” Taeyong added, “Maybe that’s why dad never liked you.”

“Taeyong!” Jongin cried, looking over Baekhyun's lap, “You don’t tell your brother stuff like that- stop it, now.”

Kyungsoo pulled over then, and Baekhyun literally climbed over Jongin's lap to jump out of the truck, throwing up all over the dried grass.

He heard walkers grunting and groaning, dragging themselves over at the sight of the human, food.

“He sick?” Baekhyun heard Yixing call, the sound of tires coming to a stop behind the truck.

“No!” Chanyeol denied immediately, “Can you take Taeyong, he-uh- he's testy today.”

Chanyeol turned, grabbing Taeyongs backpack as he heard Jongin killing a few close walkers, “You need to apologize.” He whispered to Taeyong, putting his things into the bag, “Being a man isn’t yelling when you’re mad, Tae.”

Taeyong huffed, “You don’t know, Hyung.”

“No.” Chanyeol patted his shoulder, “You don’t know, go ride with the others until you can apologize.” He requested, gently pushing the smaller in that direction.

“Baek.” Kyungsoo worried, knelt down beside him, “Come on, we shot a gun, walkers will be on the way soon.” He fussed, running his hand over the back of Baekhyun's head.

Baekhyun grimaced at the taste in his mouth, standing up and running back to the truck, shaking legs trying to find the strength to pull himself up when Chanyeol lifted him up and into the back with a sad look.

He immediately grabbed the light blue book and put it in his lap, scooting over for Kyungsoo to slide in.

“Water.” The elder offered, “You’re okay, what's wrong? Brothers fight, Baek.”

Baekhyun felt Jongin start the truck up again and shook his head, “Me and Taeyong don't fight, we never fight.”

“First time for everything, baby.” Chanyeol leaned over the passenger seat, “Even we fight sometimes, and that’s okay.”

“It was my journal.” Baekhyun explained, laying the ragged book onto the console, “It’s my journal- I don’t/ I don’t know how he got it, I forgot about it, I-I think I left it on the bookshelf in the living room- but, he’s, he's taller now so he could’ve gotten it.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Kyungsoo sighed and pulled Baekhyun into his lap, “Fuck.”

“Let’s just… lets hope he only read the first few.” Baekhyun whispered, turning the pages over between his fingers. “They’re just… those are just… ranting.”

“Words you didn’t mean.” Chanyeol summarized, “He’ll understand, he feels bad, I can tell.”

“I’ll have to tell him.” Baekhyun whispered, “I think… I have to tell him.”

Kyungsoo looked down as Baekhyun turned pages, feeling guilty, but unable to look away as his eyes skimmed over some words.

“You don’t need to tell him anything, I don’t even know if he can… truly understand, Baek.” Jongin called into the back.

“That’s okay, Hyung.” Baekhyun mumbled, sitting up in Kyungsoo's arms, “At least I’ll have tried to explain…”

The boys all got silent, sneaking worried looks back at Baekhyun, Jongin peeking in the rearview mirror as the youngest flipped pages.

Baekhyun chewed his lip as he scanned an entry, it was weird to read passages written years ago, some good like how Taeyong had learned how to walk or how fast he had gotten, and some… horrible, detailed descriptions of self deprecating thoughts, insults that had been told to him written in bold, like the anger seeped through the pages, even accounts of abuse, so vulgar especially knowing he was only a teenager at the time.

“You… you guys should hold onto this for me.” Baekhyun mumbled, “You can… you can read it if you’re curious, it’s not all… bad.” He shut the journal and ran his finger over the corner.

“Why don’t you want to get rid of it?” Kyungsoo wondered, resting his head on the crown of Baekhyun's head.

Baekhyun laughed, “It’s not all bad, Taeyongs first birthday is in here… I think I wrote a lot about him.”

“You really love that little shit, huh?” Chanyeol commented, a fond smile on his face as he tossed his backpack into the backseat for Baekhyun to put the journal in.

“I raised him.”

~~~~~~~

Baekhyun was curled up in the backseat, his head resting in Jongin's lap, the elder combing fingers through his head as he looked out the window.

Jongin could see Kyungsoo teaching Taeyong how to siphon gas, not that it really mattered for the kid right now, but it would, eventually.

The kid had apologized, not that it really mattered again. Taeyong didn’t even know what he was apologizing for, much less the whole reason Baekhyun had flipped shit

He was a child, he shouldn’t have to understand, but Baekhyun also shouldn’t have had to learn things like that so early on either.

Jongin's eyes snapped to the truck door being pulled open. He could see the sheen of sweat built up on Chanyeol's forehead despite the cold weather as he tossed a bloodied tired iron into the backseat.

“Anything good, Hyung?” Jongin asked quietly, hand pressing over Baekhyun's ear so he wouldn’t wake him.

Chanyeol nodded, tossing a few random packages of snacks into the backseat before climbing into the driver's seat, “Snacks, better than nothing.”

Jongin hummed, moving his other hand to rest on Baekhyun's stomach, feeling his soft hip where his shirt was pulled up from his sleep. “Good, Baek is still too thin, his spine peeks out too much for comfort.”

“Definitely.” The eldest sighed, turning around and leaning over the center console to run soft fingers through his soulmates soft curls. “So what do you think?” He added in a whisper.

Jongin looked at him confused, resting his head back against the leather of the truck seats. “About what?”

“Are you going to read it?” Chanyeol elaborated, thumb running over Baekhyun's brow gently, “Fuck, he’s so beautiful.”

“I don’t know if I can.” The younger whispered before a small smile overcame his face as Kyungsoo pulled open the passenger door after safely getting Taeyong placed in Sunmi’s car to rest. “And I know, right? It… it turns my stomach sometimes, but in a good way.”

“You talking about Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo asked, face slightly red from the cold as he pulled his hood over his head and covered his red ears.

Chanyeol laughed. Pulling his knees into his seat, long limbs taking up his whole area, invading Kyungsoo's as he pulled the blankets off the passenger seat floorboard. “Of course, I was asking if Jongin was going to read the journal.”

They all went quiet as Baekhyun suddenly made a scared noise, fingers holding onto Jongin's pant leg tightly, grip whitening.

“Shhh.” The elder mumbled even though Baekhyun was definitely asleep, probably having a nightmare. “You’re okay, baby. Hyungs are here.” Jongin added, leaning over to press his cheek onto the youngers, “There you go, sweetheart. Hyung loves you, babe.” He cooed.

Jongin pressed a kiss to Baekhyun's temple before sitting back when the younger calmed down, running his finger over the cutely pointed part of Baekhyun's ear. “Fuck, I want to read it, but… I don’t know if I could not look at him differently, be more protective, you know?”

“It’s hard.” Kyungsoo agreed, leaning his seat back, the only lights being those from the car lights reflecting off their faces. “Soulmates… they're supposed to be connected immediately, Baekhyun can feel it, that’s obvious, but he just needs… more time than normal to process, and that’s okay.”

“I just want to give him what he wants.” Chanyeol murmured, “The other day, when we were fighting in the woods, he looked so genuinely upset that I felt my soulmark burn. I know… that past abuse can alter… how he sees and feels things, but… but I think that he doesn’t even realize he has anything happening. So if he… if he wants you to touch him or anything, you need to make sure he knows what’s going on. Just keep having him look at you; I can’t- I can’t stand the thought of him not realizing and then it would be one of our faults…”

“I used to major in psychology, Hyung.” Jongin sighed, “I think… I think he knows what he’s doing, but I don’t think he realizes fully how sexual acts work. He thinks they’re payment for doing something, how to get he needs, so… it’s hard to weigh whether or not he asked us to touch him because he wanted attention and didn’t know how to ask, or if it’s because he just wanted us to, because we're soulmates so he’s drawn in naturally.”

“I think… we need to read the journals to understand.” Kyungsoo whispered, pulling a blanket up to his chin. “And don’t… just control yourselves. He doesn’t need to be constantly reminded of what happened to him. Sure, he has a few… ticks that probably stem from the abuse. He whispers to himself a lot, he taps when it’s too quiet, I’ve seen him pulling his shirt around when people start yelling. He does… a lot of things, but I’m not sure… what applies to us, because as Jongin said, we’re not just anyone to him.”

“He said the same thing.” Chanyeol laughed softly, pulling Baekhyun's shoes off while Jongin combed his hair. “He said we didn’t need to baby him, that he didn’t need to be reminded when he sees us. So let’s just… let’s stop treating him like he’s glass. He’s fragile, I agree, but he doesn’t want to be, and that’s reason enough to listen.”

“Okay.” Jongin whispered, slowly pulling Baekhyun on top of him so he could lay across the backseats, “Goodnight.”

“Night.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you read it? 
> 
> Was debating on writing a few entries.... but they would be pretty disturbing, so maybe not.


	13. New Members

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Walking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my two wonderful people that commented immediately! A double update!

Baekhyun beamed, laying his cheek against the crook of Kyungsoo's neck, pressing his red mouth to the elders pulse.

“Baek, we’re starting a fire.” Chanyeol poked his head into the backseat window, laughing softly at the youngests position. “Are you going to come out?”

Baekhyun sighed and curled his arms around Kyungsoo's waist as he turned to look at his oldest soulmate, “Only if you carry me.”

Chanyeol snorted, “Come to this side then, babe.”

“Hyung is strong.” Baekhyun giggled as he climbed off of Kyungsoo's lap and crawled to the other back door as Chanyeol opened it.

“Are you flirting? Has Jongin taught you anything good?” Kyungsoo teased, patting Baekhyun's ankle.

Baekhyun hummed softly, shivering slightly as Chanyeol picked him up out of the truck. “Jonginnie says I’m getting good, Soo.” He pouted up around Chanyeol, fingers brushing the strap of the gun on the eldests shoulder. “I’ll be as good as him soon.”

“We don’t doubt that for a minute, honey.” Chanyeol cooed, running his hand through Baekhyun's hair that definitely needed to be cut- they all did really. “You coming, Soo?”

Kyungsoo shook his head, “Nah, i'll be out in a little… I’m gonna read.”

“Oh.” Chanyeol's eyes widened as he nodded, “Yeah, okay, see you in a bit.”

“See you, Hyung, be safe.” The youngest worried.

Kyungsoo laughed and waved at him, “I will, babe, don’t worry.”

Baekhyun smiled in approval as Chanyeol pulled him away from the truck.

Kyungsoo laughed to himself as he dug into Chanyeol's backpack, beginning to read.

~~~~~~~

Taeyong was getting good with a gun, it was unsettling, but not inconvenient, especially at times like these when the fucking vehicles gave out and they had no choice but to stick things out.

It was to be expected eventually, they just had thought they would get a few months with them, but then Sunmi’s car started smoking, the radiator blew out, and Yifan’s car had begun overheating every few miles- coolant pouring out with every mile.

“So what now? We can’t all fit inside the truck.” Junmyeon groaned around the fire.

Baekhyun looked around, feeling equally as upset as everyone looked.

“Is it even worth it at this point?” Jinhyuk scoffed, “Do you even know where we’re going?”

Minseok stood up, a harsh glare at the man. “We told everyone at some point we would have to be on foot, at least until we can get something else running, it was your mistake to join, apparently.”

“You’re welcome to leave anytime, you and your horrible fighting skills.” Sunmi commented, Baekhyun snorted, arm around Taeyongs shoulders.

“Well, not everyone can be homicidally manic like you.” Jinhyuk growled.

“Hey, man, you’re really pushing it.” Kyungsoo sighed from the window of the truck, legs propped over the seat, eyes scanning something in his lap, only listening to the group. “All of us are at least a little homicidal, if you’re not- you don’t survive.”

“Listen, all of you.” Yifan growled, twirling his knife in the dirt. “There's gotta be a place, not just where we hole up, we fortify, hunker down, pull ourselves together, build a life for each other. I know it's out there; we just have to find it."

Baekhyun felt a smile curl onto his face as he leaned against Jongin's side, fingers running through Taeyong's overgrown locks, “We’re with you.” He smiled at Yifan, “Whatever you decide, Hyung.”

“Amen!” Sehun cried making everyone roll their eyes.

“I want a real plan, we can’t keep living on false hope.” Jinhyuk disagreed.

“Then go!” Junmyeon yelled, “Go on your own- go. But if you stay this isn’t a democracy anymore, you wanted a leader- so here we are! If you’re gone in the morning then goodbye, but if not then you listen to us, this goes for all of you.”

Baekhyun raised a brow at the leaders state, the crazed look on his face.

“Okay.” Yixing said gently, wrapping his hand around Junmyeon’s wrist and pulling him away from the fire. “Everyone rest up, tomorrow we will pack what we can carry and set off on foot.”

“Come on.” Baekhyun murmured, “Put that up, stop messing with it, it’s not a toy.” He added, forcing Taeyong to put his gun back in the holster.

“Yeol Hyung said to always be prepared.” Taeyong said, allowing Baekhyun to pull him up. “I’m going to be a man soon, Hyung… I can’t remember the date, but I’ll get a soulmark soon, I know it.”

Baekhyun frowned down at him, now that he thought about it he didn’t know the date either, everything kind of blurred together, he slept days away in the back of the cars or truck, remembered weather changing a little- but it couldn’t have been that long- could it have?

He thought just a few days ago they were in his hometown, but had it been longer than he thought?

~~~~~~~

“Hey, have you guys seen the extra rifle?” Jongin called, shoving as much as he could into his duffel bag as he stood in the bed of the truck.

“It’s not in there?” Minseok snapped his attention up to Jongin immediately.

Baekhyun frowned at the exchange, pulling his backpack over his arms, “Now that I think about it… has someone been taking extra supplies… I mean, it’s okay if so, but… we kind of need to know.”

“We haven’t dug into those boxes since we were back in that residential town a few weeks back.” Yifan pointed out, “I haven’t seen anyone in them since then.”

“Hyung!” Taeyong suddenly yelled, “My ammo is gone!”

Baekhyun heard a twig snap and spun around, raising his gun at the treeline.

“Who’s there!” Chanyeol yelled into the trees, bow pointed towards the noise.

“We’re not looking for trouble!” Junmyeon added.

They could all hear the twigs snapping, wind howling, and trees moving as a man appeared beside a bush, hands raised. “If you’re not looking for trouble, you probably shouldn’t be in this area.”

“And why is that?” Jongin questioned as Baekhyun squinted, trying to identify the familiar voice.

“You haven’t seen the signs?” The man stepped closer making everyone tense, guns firm in his direction. “Damn, sorry about the supplies, my friend is a little sticky fingered.”

“Friend?” Baekhyun murmured before spinning to look behind him, a man- pretty, but dirty- not unlike them, stood behind him, arms raising and eyes widening at getting caught.

“Yeah, sorry, he’s the sneakier of us two, you guys have been here a few days though- we got curious.”

“Give us names.” Yifan demanded.

“Luhan?” Baekhyun laughed quietly and put his gun down as he saw the first man step into the light, “You're alive?”

“Luhan?” Kyungsoo drawled, a jealous glint in his eye as he eyed the man.

“He’s okay.” Baekhyun defended, “I’ll vouch for him- his friend… I have no idea.”

“That’s Taehyung.” Luhan smiled, “Been a while Baekhyun, you look just as cute as I remember.”

Baekhyun heard his soulmates make annoyed noises at the compliment as Jongin reached out to grab his sweater to keep him from walking over. “Thank you!”

“What about this one… Taehyung you said?” Sunmi motioned at him with her gun, “Stick fingers over here that took our supplies.”

Taehyung gave an embarrassed grin, “Yeah, sorry about that, I’ll give them back. We didn’t- we were seeing if you guys were good people- didn’t mean to steal the kids ammo.”

“Wait, hold up, what signs?” Jinhyuk pointed out, looking afraid.

Luhan bounced over, uncaring about the guns on him as he grabbed Baekhyun's arm. “There’s been signs the past few miles, warnings. There’s a town not too far from here, it’s where we came from.” He revealed.

Jongin glared at the man and pulled Baekhyun under his arm, his gun mere inches from Luhan. “What’s wrong with it?”

“Oh, what isn’t wrong with it!” Luhan laughed, scratching at a splotch of dirt on his shoulder, the peeking of a soulmark pointing out, “There’s weak people, gross, a dictating ruler. It’s bad, trust me.”

“I’m done playing.” Junmyeon stepped closer with his gun, “What do you want?”

“Hey, hey, hold on!” Sehun yelled, surprising everyone as he walked in front of the gun, “Hyung, hold on a second.”

“Sehun….” Chanyeol warned his brother, “Sehun, what the hell are you doing?”

Sehun raised his arm, reaching out to lower Junmyeons gun, “He’s my soulmate, chill. He has my mark.”

Baekhyun couldn't help his snicker as Luhan widened his eyes and looked over the man, Sehun was attractive, he could admit as much.

“Ugh.” Minseok groaned, when he lowered his gun everyone else did also, relaxing. “Fuck.”

“Okay, come here, kid.” Sunmi ordered, grabbing Taehyung by his hood, pulling him into the middle with Luhan, “Hand it over sticky fingers.” She ordered.

Taehyung flushed in embarrassment and Baekhyun thought the sight was pretty cute as he placed the rifle he had around his shoulder in her hand and began digging in his pockets.

“Okay, I gotta ask.” Jongin laughed and Baekhyun looked up amused as the older man walked to Taehyung, hand out for the ammo. “Why’d you take pistol ammo if you took a rifle.”

“I’m only good with knives.” Taehyung replied with a laugh.

Baekhyun giggled, “I prefer them too.”

“I do not.” Jongin rolled his eyes playfully as he walked over to give Taeyong the ammo back, “Close range cannot continue, babe, it gives us anxiety.”

“Baek?” Luhan had a playful smirk on his face and Baekhyun knew he was about to get fully embarrassed as the older man grabbed his cheeks. “You found your soulmate, ugh! I’m so happy for you!”

“Soulmates.” Chanyeol corrected with a sneer, pulling Baekhyun away, “And we’d really appreciate a no touching policy, thank you.”

“Oh shit!” Luhan laughed, the sword on his back clunking in its case. “Shit, Baekhyun, you got multiple!” He reached out to grab Baekhyun's shirt again and whined as his hand got pushed away, “Hey! We were friends first, and I have no personal space, so get used to it.”

“I’ll cut your hand off if you keep touching him.” Kyungsoo growled, looking darkly through his hair.

“Oooo! Three, Baekhyun!” Luhan cheered, uncaring of the threats, “Wow, look at you, squirrel!”

Baekhyun flushed furiously at the old nickname, turning to rush into Chanyeol's ribs when he heard a few laughs.

“Hyung is like a squirrel.” Taeyong laughed and began walking towards Luhan when Kyungsoo grabbed his coat. “Tae, we don’t trust strangers.”

Taeyong only shrugged, “He knows Baek Hyung so he's not a stranger.”

“See, we’re friends.” Luhan teased, seeing the annoyance on the other man’s face as Taeyong walked over to him. “I like your gun, kid. I can show you how to use my sword, if you want.”

Baekhyun could feel Chanyeol huffing in annoyance, hand running over his shoulders softly.

“Okay, here’s the deal.” Yifan called, slamming the emptied trunk of his car shut, “We keep heading north, you two can come if you want, but me and Junmyeon are in charge- no questions asked.” He motioned to Junmyeon who had his arms crossed.

“Alright.” Taehyung agreed carefully, “And here we go, walking back where we came from, fun.”

“On a scale of one to ten, how bad is this ‘town’?” Sunmi questioned said the group began walking.

Taehyung shrugged, hands in his pockets, “We only really stayed a week, but… something is off.”

“Probably that fucking leader.” Luhan added, already latching himself onto Sehun, “He just gave the creepiest of vibes.”

“Hm.” Yixing hummed, a knife twisting in his hand, “A missionary type or like… a dictator.”

“He’s… charming, it was hard to see past his exterior.” Taehyung admitted, “But we only saw him a bit when a group was brought in, he was just so weird, he had this vibe.”

“So a con man?” Minseok wondered.

“Maybe.” Was all Luhan could offer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys know how I roll by now... lots of fluff before a storm brews.


	14. Shoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Searching.

Blisters were the worst part about walking so many miles on a daily basis. Well, it was Baekhyun's problem.

Taeyongs problem was he kept trying to “be a man” and walking too far for anyone’s comfort away from the group, getting yelled at by one of the members. Baekhyun didn’t really care about them parenting him anymore, it was better when he had so many people watching out for him.

Chanyeol's problem was that even though it was hot out, he still sweat ridiculously, which pleased Baekhyun because his soulmate shirtless was a great sight to see, he liked it very much.

But, Taehyungs' problem was that he didn’t have a weapon. He had to rely on everyone else when a walker popped out, and Baekhyun thought it was awfully funny when Jinhyuk freaked out, a knife in his hand but didn’t help at all, but it was getting annoying to have to cover his ass and Taehyung’s.

Which was why he was pulling out his butterfly knife and walking towards the middle of the group to offer it to him. “Here.”

“Why?” Taehyung frowned, “Nobody else offered up a weapon for me.”

“Well, I don’t want anymore deaths on my conscience.” Baekhyun said quietly, patting Taehyung's back, “Plus, seems like you could handle yourself pretty well, saw you smash in that walker a while back, have fun with that drying blood on your shoe though.” He pointed down at Taehyung's bloodied boot with a laugh.

Taehyung snorted, “You're the one that should be careful, those blisters are opened wounds now.” He noticed Baekhyun's white/ dirtied sock having a red color seeping through.

“Ah, fuck.” Baekhyun whispered, “I’ll go wrap it up, just in case.”

Baekhyun spun on his heel, ruffling Taeyongs head as he walked past to get to Yixing and Yifan in the back. “Xing Hyung.” He mumbled, walking beside the medic, “Do you have any bandages? I have blisters pretty bad, I don’t want to risk dying over a fucking blister.”

Yixing frowned before nodding, stopping to pull his backpack off, “Why didn’t you mention it? Fuck, we should’ve gotten you some new shoes when we walked past those shops a few miles back.” He fussed.

“Everyone, take ten!” Yifan called, noticing his soulmate pulling Baekhyun's pant leg up.

Baekhyun sighed and took a seat on the cold asphalt road, “It’s okay, I didn’t really notice honestly.” He explained, pulling off his shoe and rolling down his sock.

It was worse than he thought, the whole back of his ankle rubbed raw, cracking. He should’ve gotten some boots, something that could last, but instead he was stuck wearing his messed up school shoes that had been pushing a size too small since he had gotten them.

“Fuck, I need to put some antibiotic ointment, this is gonna take a few, Baek.” Yixing sighed and Baekhyun felt bad for bothering him even though he knew the medic was only worried about him.

“What’s wrong?” Kyungsoo asked as he walked over, only a small bit of water left in the bottle he handed to Baekhyun, “We’re almost out of water, we’ll need to stop and rest up somewhere.” He added.

“Baekhyun's shoes aren’t cutting it.” Yifan nodded at the medic who was wiping down the wounds with an alcohol wipe, “We can’t risk infections, we don’t have antibiotics left, we need food, we need water, we can’t keep on the road.” The leader sighed.

“Let’s scout later.” Kyungsoo said immediately, running a hand over Baekhyun's hair, “You, me, Jun Hyung, maybe one of the others- we should go scout ahead.”

Yifan nodded, a contemplating expression as he ran a dirtied hand through his hair, “We should get everyone inside somewhere first, settle them in so we know they’re safe. You’re right, there’s no point in forcing them more miles into the woods if there’s nothing there.”

“Baekhyun would have an infection by then.” Yixing interrupted, “With all the dirt, we haven’t showered in weeks, cutting deeper into his wounds- yeah, no. He can’t get an infection right now, I think I’ll have to start taking his temperature every once in a while, the wound was pretty deep, and a little discolored.”

“It was just a blister.” Baekhyun denied, “Hyung, I didn’t even feel it.”

“It was.” Yixing agreed as he wrapped it up, “But, the blister broke, opening the wound. Infections can enter and travel into the bloodstream, honey. Sepsis and Cellulitis are not things to be taken lightly, especially when I don’t have any treatment, we need to be careful these days, Baek.”

Baekhyun huffed in annoyance as he noticed Kyungsoo look frantic as he leaned down to pick him up.

“Hyung!” He whined as he was thrown over his soulmates shoulder, “You forgot my shoe!”

“Forget your fucking shoe.” Kyungsoo growled, “Chanyeol is going to carry you to a safe place, and that’s it, we’re getting you new shoes and you’re going to be fine.”

“Ugh, Soo.” Baekhyun whined, “This is unfair.”

“Caring for your health, baby.” His soulmate teased, “Yeol Hyung, a gift, here.”

Baekhyun was maneuvered around like a rag doll and if he had a full stomach, maybe he would have thrown up as Chanyeol held his thighs and moved him onto his hip like a child. “The best gift, hi baby.”

“Hi.” Baekhyun sighed, pressing his forehead on Chanyeol’s chest, “You're my ride, apparently.”

“Okay first, Jongin don't make a dirty joke.” Chanyeol ordered, a stern look at Jongin over Baekhyun's head, “And I don’t mind, what happened?”

“Soo left my shoe behind!” Baekhyun cried, pouting his lips as he looked up at his soulmate, “My shoe, Yeol!”

Kyungsoo snorted, patting Baekhyun's ass gently as he stepped around Chanyeol, “He fucked up his ankle, we’re going to stop at the next building we find, clear it out for everyone and lock them in. Me and the leaders are going to run ahead if you guys want to come.”

“I wanted to come.” Baekhyun pouted, only getting cooed down at for the cute face.

“I’ll go.” Chanyeol agreed.

“Guess I need to stay back with this trouble maker.” Jongin teased, reaching over and pulling Taeyongs shirt to annoy him, “Hyung will stay with you, bug.”

“Hyung!” Taeyong screeched, “I can protect myself!”

Jongin only cooed and pinched his cheek, beaming when Taeyong smacked his hand away.

“What kinda building are we looking for?” Luhan said, a hand over his brow to block the sun, “Like infestation level one or ten?”

“Ideally a one, but I can tell that you’re hoping for a ten.” Minseok snorted. Baekhyun smiled at the two, they had been getting along so well.

“We can go for a five.” Sehun teased, throwing his arm around his soulmate, “Make it fair, Lu.”

Baekhyun thought they were cute too, but wished they would stop fucking every night, it made him feel guilty as Luhan had consummated the first night, and here he was… months later, giving his soulmates little to no intimacy.

“Hyung could probably take on a level ten!” Taeyong laughed to himself, “Luhan Hyung is crazy.”

“I should be offended, but I tend to think crazy is good these days, so I’ll accept your compliment, ass kicker.” Luhan said happily, making everyone snort.

Baekhyun loved that everyone latched onto Taeyong, it gave him protection, it gave him people to care about. But that was also an issue in itself, the more people to care about, the more people to lose.

And since so many people paid Taeyong attention, his brother never really sought him out very often anymore. He was getting older, and he was growing. Baekhyun had realized that morning that his brother had grown at least a few centimeters more than what he had remembered and it made him reminisce about the toddler that clung to his leg when he made them dinner.

“On a scale of one to ten, how sinful would it be if we slaughtered all those walkers in that church?” Sunmi pointed out in the front, pointing at a run down church, boards blocking the windows and door, but the groaning from inside was unmistakable.

“It’s a ten if Sehun and Luhan decide to fuck inside, but it would be unsurprising.” Yifan rolled his eyes.

“Hey, watch your mouth, Taeyong already cusses more than he should.” Junmyeon ordered, setting his bag on the ground.

“The world ended, I don’t think his bad habits are really the top of our priorities right now.” Yifan replied with a laugh.

Baekhyun shrugged when they looked at him for a response, Chanyeol setting him down on a patch of grass, “Guess some things we had to learn he doesn’t really need to.”

“Huh.” Minseok mussed, “Guess you’re right, do you think that makes us more moral than the newer generations… or are we the more vicious of them?”

“I don’t know if morals are something we need to worry about with Taeyong… we are the ones he's watching, let’s just… it’s hard to call ourselves good people, isn’t it?” Baekhyun wondered aloud, watching the others pull out weapons, he didn’t even have a shoe, his soulmates wouldn’t let him help even if he wanted to.

“I think you’re a good person, Hyung.” Taeyong smiled, pulling his gun off his hip and pointing it at the door, “Watch this, I can probably headshot from this far.”

Baekhyun didn’t know what constituted being a good person anymore, but even as he saw his brother shoot down a few walkers and get praised for it, he didn’t think he was necessarily doing a bad job.

~~~~~~~~

“You’ll be safe?” Baekhyun asked quietly, pulling Kyungsoo down to his level to press his mouth over the others, “You and Yeol, you both come back.” He ordered against his soulmates mouth.

“Of course.” Kyungsoo smiled, brushing Baekhyun's hair off his forehead and pressing his lips to his dirtied skin, “We always come back for our family, you just sit tight.” He murmured, pulling his soulmate into a hug.

Baekhyun sighed as he rested his chin on Kyungsoo's shoulder, watching some of the others dragging the dead walkers out and tossing them into a pile, “I’m serious, Hyung.”

“I’m serious too, baby.” Kyungsoo responded, pulling back for another kiss before motioning for Chanyeol to say goodbye, even though it would only be a few hours, they never knew when the last times could be. “I love you, we’ll be back soon.”

“You’re scared?” Chanyeol asked, “You don’t need to be afraid, Baekhyun.”

The younger licked over his cracked lips and wrapped his arms around Chanyeol's waist, “I’m gonna be pissed if you don’t come back.”

Chanyeol laughed and Baekhyun pouted cutely, “It’s not funny, Hyung! I’ll-I’m gonna hit you!” He threatened.

“I know.” Chanyeol laughed a few more times, pressing his forehead to Baekhyun's and kissing his pouting mouth, “I know, I just love you. And you don’t need to worry, there’s no way we wouldn’t make it back to you.”

“If you die or turn, you won’t.” Baekhyun murmured against his mouth.

“Nah, even then you bet your pretty ass we’re going to haunt you, baby. Annoy the shit out of you, huh? It’s what we’re good at, yeah?” He prompted, tickling Baekhyun's side until he got a cute squeal and a light hearted ‘stop it!’ “Seriously, we love you, we’ll be back, and get you some shoes.”

Baekhyun laughed at the reminder, looking down at his dirty sock and his one shoe, “Soo’s fault.” He whined.

“I’ll find you new ones!” Kyungsoo called back, waiting with the leaders for Chanyeol to finish. Baekhyun stuck his tongue out at him in reply just to see the pretty smile he got from the elder.

“Let’s get you in, babe. You can walk around inside.” Jongin called as he hopped over a body to get to Baekhyun, “You gotta let them get going before it gets dark.”

Baekhyun sighed and rubbed his nose on Chanyeol's before turning and motioning for Jongin to pick him up, “I’ll be pissed, Yeol.” He cried as Jongin picked him up.

“Don’t worry, I’ll watch his dumbass.” Junmyeon added with a laugh when Baekhyun beamed at him before Jongin took him in.

“He’s cute.” Yifan muttered, nudging Kyungsoo's shoulder, “You guys love him a lot.”

“Yeah.” Chanyeol mumbled, already looking down as they began to walk away, “We’re soulmates, it’s hard not to.”

“Definitely, he loves you guys too.” Junmyeon added, pulling out the map, not that it was useful when they didn’t really know where they were.

“You think so?” Kyungsoo mumbled, him and Chanyeol looking genuinely confused.

Junmyeon and Yifan looked at them equally confused. “Of course.” Junmyeon laughed quietly, “He looks at you guys like… like you hung the stars or some shit.”

“Really.” Yifan frowned at their confusion, “You guys might not see it, but Baekhyun loves you guys. When I found him in the woods all those months ago, he looked like shit physically, emotionally, he just looked like he had given up. He doesn’t look like that when he sees you guys.”

And it only confused Kyungsoo and Chanyeol more.

~~~~~~~

“Hyung, I know it’s expired… but do you think it’s okay?” Taeyong asked across the church, digging through a pile of what looked like donated food.

Baekhyun remembered a church near him doing something similar when the disease struck. Having people come in with supplies and having them all stick together under the protection of god. How well did that work out when they were too ‘enlightened’ to realize not to allow infected in. The irony that such self priding people ended up becoming the reason for their own demise.

“Let me see.” Baekhyun called, hearing Taeyong walking his way over to where Baekhyun was rummaging through a desk.

Taeyong held out the package and Baekhyun smiled softly as he leaned back against the desk, “It’s pudding, bug. Not a lot of this can go bad.” He explained as he looked over the label. “What else did you find? Show Hyung.” He suggested.

Taeyong beamed and walked Baekhyun over to his pile, “I remember you said if it has been opened, it’s not good. And if it is a fruit or vegetable it isn’t good anymore unless dried.” Taeyong said proudly, pointing at the small pile of food he deemed good versus the bad pile.

“And why is that?” Yixing called from a bench, peeking down the walkway.

“Because you’ll get food poisoning.” The youngest responded.

“That’s right, sweetheart.” The medic cooed, brightening Taeyongs smile.

Baekhyun smiled at his brother and took a seat by the pile, looking through it, “These all look okay, bug. You should keep the pudding for yourself, a treat.” He smiled and set it in Taeyongs hand before looking at the ‘bad’ pile.

“What’s the rule about rice?” Baekhyun tested, “These cans too, why do you think they’re bad?”

“Rice needs water.” Taeyong responded, “We’re out of water and need the room to carry other things like… granola bars. And… I honestly didn’t know what those were.”

“It’s tomato sauce.” Baekhyun mumbled, “Doesn’t taste very good alone, but it will give you a lot of energy.” He explained, placing them in the good pile before sitting back on his palms and looking at his brother with a proud smile. “I like your logic, it’s good, but we haven’t found very many supplies, so don’t you think the rice is worth it to carry? Is rice worth more or less than say… this small granola bar?”

“The granola bar will give you energy faster.” Taeyong mumbled as he peeled the top off the pudding cup, “But the rice will give you more meals, but you still need water.”

“But the extra work will be worth it, don’t you think?” Baekhyun asked, “It’s up to you, what do you think?”

“I think…. if we have room maybe we can boil water later on…” Taeyong explained, “Maybe it’s worth it because… rice is more filling and maybe we can find water.”

“I like that answer.” Baekhyun smiled and stood up, pressing a kiss to Taeyongs hair, “I’m proud of you, bug. Don’t eat too much sugar.” He cooed.

Taeyong smiled at the praise and at Baekhyun's back as the elder walked down the walkway.

“Hey.” Baekhyun said gently, sliding in beside Jongin how was sprawled out across a bench. “You feel sick?”

“Headache, probably from waking so much.” Jongin murmured, smiling up at him.

Baekhyun hummed and gently moved Jongin's head into his lap, running his fingers through his soulmates hair even though they were both disgusting, all of them smelled so bad they almost were immune to the smell at this point, he had no idea how Luhan and Sehun could stand to have sex so much when they all smelled horrible- soulmates or not.

“Tae found some food, do you want me to get you some? I think I saw your favorite.” The younger suggested quietly.

“Hm, in a minute, I want you to sit with me.” Jongin responded, eyes closing at the comforting ministrations.

Baekhyun laughed quietly, “I always sit with you, Hyung. Nothing has changed.”

“All these months and nothing’s changed, hm?” Jongin asked, an expression Baekhyun couldn't place, “It’s nice when we’re inside, when we don’t need to be on edge.” He added, softer.

“Yeah, it’s gonna get hot in a few months. It’s going to be hard to travel in the heat, especially with low water.” Baekhyun worried quietly, “But it should rain soon, maybe that will be a blessing, more cover from walkers, and water.”

“And cleanliness.” Jongin moaned, reaching for Baekhyun's hand that wasn’t in his hair, moving it to his chest, “God, I feel disgusting.”

“You look handsome still.” Baekhyun's ears tinted, but he was getting used to telling his thoughts- at least to his soulmates.

Jongin smirked, “Yeah? You’re getting so good, one day you’ll have me flustered, babe.”

Baekhyun giggled and shook his head, “Really though, we do need to shower, it’s been… weeks.”

“Yeah.” Jongin murmured quietly, “I smell horrible.”

“We smell horrible.” The younger corrected.

“I think you smell alright.” The elder teased, “Always pretty like a flower, always smells like a flower.”

Baekhyun snorted, cheeks pinkening as he smacked Jongin's chest lightly, “You're a horrible liar, Hyung, the worst.”

Jongin laughed so handsomely Baekhyun was often stunned by the handsome man. “Can’t lie to you, doll. Love you too much.”

“I adore you.” Baekhyun whispered his replacement response. He had felt too guilty not to reply to them these days, and they still liked his response, it was cute.

It just wasn’t the one that they wanted to hear, that their hearts raced just to think about hearing the three words falling from their soulmates pretty mouth.

“Nini Hyung.” Baekhyun turned and watched Taeyong wall down the walkway, “His favorite.” His brother added when he got close enough, passing the can over.

“Thank you, bug.” Baekhyun said softly, pressing his palm to Taeyongs long hair. “Go eat some more. Do you want me to cut your hair later? Can you even see?”

“Oh.” Taeyong murmured, pushing his hair out of his eyes, “Yes please, it’s not very… safe. You should cut yours too.”

“I will if you do too.”

“Deal.” Taeyong smiled.

~~~~~~~

“I think we’re about four miles out, maybe five…” Junmyeon checked his watch, “We only have a few hours of daylight left, we should turn back.”

Kyungsoo furrowed his brow, stomping the walkers head at his feet before wiping the dripping sweat. “No, we can’t keep doing this, Hyung.”

“We can’t, Jun.” Yifan agreed, pulling Chanyeol's arrow out of a walker, “Just a little further, there’s more walkers in this area- that’s gotta mean something.”

“It means death.” Junmyeon scowled, “Look, I agree, I do, but if we don’t turn around within the next hour we’re going to be dead men walking.” He argued.

“I’m not going until I have somewhere safe, or at least better than the road, even if it’s temporary.” Chanyeol disagreed, renocking his crossbow. “Please, Hyung. I… I don’t want Taeyong to have to sleep on gravel or in an old car every night.”

At the mention of the youngest member they saw Junmyeon falter, his mouth pursing as he nodded, “Alright.” He sighed, “Alright, I agree.”

“Can I see the map?” Kyungsoo asked, wiping his hand on his jeans, “Maybe I can figure out where we are, there was a sign a while back, a national forest. Don’t they put that shit on here?”

“Hopefully.” Yifan murmured, looking over Kyungsoo's head as he accepted the map.

Kyungsoo stared at it for a few seconds as they walked slowly, “Do you remember the main road name? Fuck… I saw the highway sign, but I can’t remember if it was 60 or 80.”

“80.” Yifan mumbled, reaching over to point at the map, “What forest was it?”

“It doesn’t really matter.” Kyungsoo laughed, “There’s only one forest off 80, so we must be here.” He pointed, “If we’re here, let’s assume the church is… you said four maybe five miles back, so… near us should be-“

“Holy fuck!” Chanyeol yelled, much louder than they should be right now. The three staring at the map jumped and looked around for the man.

“Guys, guys!” He called, making the three take off towards the sound of his voice.

He wasn’t that far, only standing on the edge of the forestline maybe a fourth of a mile from the clearing they were talking in. But they were too distracted to scold him.

“Shit.” Junmyeon gawked in disbelief.

Chanyeol smirked, leaned over and pulled his arrow out of a walker. “If we could clear this out, what do you think?”

The leader looked around wide eyed, it would be work to clear out, but not unattainable. “Perfect.” Yifan laughed.

“Hey, Yeol.” Kyungsoo smiled and pointed at a walker dressed in a guard uniform. “Shoot him, will you? I think Baek would like those shoes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Have any of you seen the walking dead? If you have... you’ll see where I’m going with it...


	15. Bug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A safe place.

Baekhyun was pacing anxiously, it was dark out, and the four hadn’t showed up yet.

He couldn’t help but to get upset, everyone else looked just as scared as him- this wasn’t their useless members that had been sent out, it wasn’t Jinhyuk who nobody could honestly care about, it was their leaders- it was four of their strongest fighters.

And two of his soulmates. Jongin was here, dead asleep, he didn’t blame his soulmate, Jongin was exhausted and had practically devoured his can of pears and passed out. But Baekhyun was too panicked to rest.

“Baek.” Luhan said gently, reaching into the walkway to grab his arm. “Calm down, they’ll be fine.”

“Easy for you to say.” Baekhyun whispered, “Sehun is here, dead asleep with Taeyong.”

Luhan looked a bit upset with his snapping and Baekhyun sighed, rubbing his temple as he sat beside him. “I’m sorry, my heart is racing.”

“It’s okay.” Luhan murmured, “Really, it’s fine. You really love them.”

Baekhyun felt his lip turning up but didn’t respond, tapping his fingers on the hardwood bench as he stared at the doors.

He saw Yixing organizing things in his backpack and Minseok was reading. He felt a bit envious of the two, but they had been with their soulmates way longer than Baekhyun- especially in the apocalypse- they had spent way more time with their soulmates during such a stressful time that they didn’t seem nearly as worried as Baekhyun.

It could have been a facade- or, it was because Baekhyun had trouble trusting that they would come back- whether it be their fault or not. He couldn’t help it.

That thought reminded him of another thing. “Hey, Hyung.” Baekhyun murmured, turning to face Luhan. “Do you remember school much?”

Luhan hummed, using the edge of his knife to pick under the edge of his nails. “A little, why?”

Baekhyun scratched his itchy hair and chewed the side of his cheek. “You asked me… you asked me once if you could come to my house, do you remember?”

“Oh.” Luhan laughed and Baekhyun's eyes flickered immediately over to Jongin sitting up a few benches in front of them, his soulmate stretching. “Of course, you… you said you weren’t allowed to have people over. I always thought you were just so cute and shy, squirrel.”

“No.” Baekhyun whispered, “You didn’t think that… did you?” He licked his lip nervously, searching Luhan's face.

Baekhyun scooted over for Jongin when he noticed him, inviting him into the bench with him.

“You said something to me once, Baekhyun.” Luhan paused to eye Jongin as if unsure he could continue, and Baekhyun only nodded, immediately bringing his hand to Jongin's cheek when his soulmate yawned and rested his chin on Baekhyun's shoulder.

“You told me… that you didn’t want to go home, when you were sixteen, I didn’t really know.” Luhan lowered his voice even though it was echoing in the church- or it felt like it was.

Truthfully, Baekhyun didn’t feel it was much of a secret anymore. He didn’t think it really mattered, it didn’t interfere with much, in his opinion. He had much, much too many things to worry about than to keep his abuse a secret, but… he felt he owed Luhan an explanation at least, since he had cared for him in school, watched out for him.

There must be a reason they had been reunited. So, maybe it was Baekhyun's turn to care for the elder, or at least be a better friend to him.

“And I told you… I didn’t want to either, we were kids then, remember? And.. and I said we should just run away together. And you told me you couldn’t because your little brother had school the next morning.” Luhan smiled as Baekhyun blushed at the memory. “And… I think you and I- I think… we’re similar, am I right?”

“How?” Baekhyun frowned.

Luhan shrugged and began carving his knife into the back of the wooden bench in front of him. “My mom's friend, she wasn’t very… she liked to babysit me. So, when I was around twelve I told my mom the truth, that I didn’t like when she babysat because she… did weird things.” Luhan turned his head to eye Baekhyun, “Similar right?”

Baekhyun could only gulp, pretending he couldn’t see the members looking at the two of them.

“I think the only difference is… I got to escape early, did you Baekhyun?” Luhan added softly.

“Your nightmares weren’t at home everyday.” Baekhyun replied, feeling Jongin's nails digging into his shirt, “I had to go home to them.”

Luhan's eyes softened as he reached out to touch Baekhyun's cheek. “I still have issues sometimes.” Luhan said, “But you look so well, I almost couldn’t recognize you. The little teenager that jumped if I shut my locker too hard, my squirrel that scattered when the football team smiled at us. Now you fight, and you don’t flinch; I don’t know what you’re doing, but you look so much better.”

“It's been years.” Baekhyun whispered, “I’ve had years to deal.”

“It was your dad, wasn’t it?” Luhan murmured, almost apologetically. “I could tell… you didn’t even want to be my friend at first… because I was a guy right? And I was a little older? It scared you, you used to stare like I was going to attack you, and we were only kids.”

Baekhyun nodded, leaning back against Jongin's chest. “I killed him.” He admitted, “Befor- before I even spent a day out with walkers, I shot him.”

“Good for you, squirrel.” Luhan smiled, “Maybe that’s what’s changed… or,” He gave a slight nod to Jongin, “You have better people now.”

“Both.” Jongin whispered, looking at Baekhyun's profile fondly, “We think he's stronger than he gives himself credit for.”

“I agree.” Luhan laughed, “And Taeyong… he’s going to be a good man, Baek. Really, he’s going to live, and he’s going to survive, even if we can’t change to fit into this world- he can.”

Baekhyun hadn’t cried this whole time, but he couldn’t stop the small couple of tears that fell as he pulled Luhan into a hug. “The younger generations are the good ones, right?”

“I don’t know.” Luhan mumbled, “But Taeyong will be.”

~~~~~~~

He was half dozing off when the church door slammed open, almost making him roll of the bench with how fast he reached for his knife on the floor, he probably would have fallen had Jongin not been wide awake and alert.

His happiness only came for a split second before he was pissed, getting up and stomping to the door. “You fucking- you- I’m so mad!” He cried, grabbing Kyungsoo and Chanyeol each by the edges of their shirts. “I’m going to fucking kill you.”

“Babe.” Both of their beaming smiles only succeeded in making Baekhyun angrier. “Babe, we’re fine.” Chanyeol laughed as Baekhyun pushed up Kyungsoo's sleeves.

“Shut the fuck up, take off your backpack.” Baekhyun growled, an angry scowl on his lips as he moved the collar of Kyungsoo's shirt to check his collarbones.

“No bites and no scratches.” Kyungsoo said softly, pressing a quick kiss to Baekhyun's temple, earning an adorable glare from his soulmate.

Baekhyun huffed in annoyance when Chanyeol wouldn’t lean down for him, tugging the edge of the giants shirt hard so he could look at his exposed skin. “Soo got you new shoes, sweetheart.” Chanyeol beamed happily, puckering his lips for a kiss when Baekhyun managed to pull him down.

The younger pointedly ignored his soulmates mouth, pressing a kiss to his cheek and hitting both of them. “We expected you back before dark!” He scolded, folding his arms. “I’ll kill you guys if you pull this shit again.”

Kyungsoo smiled, “Pretty-“ quickly being shushed by Baekhyun's glare that he guessed was supposed to be scary, but it looked more like a puppy than anything.

“I swear to god, I’m really mad at you guys right now.” Baekhyun added, “And I’ll kick your asses if you ever do this again.”

“Baby.” Kyungsoo laughed, pulling Baekhyun's hips to his, “We found a place, we can rest, we can be safe.”

Baekhyun's eyes flickered with interest and thus both laughed when he tried to keep the same ‘scolding’ expression. “I’m still mad, that doesn’t change anything.”

“It’s really big, Baekhyun. Maybe we can get more survivors, Taeyong could get some friends again.” Chanyeol prompted.

Baekhyun sighed, unable to keep up his false anger when he felt excitement rush through him, jumping up to wrap his arms around Kyungsoo's neck. “Where are those shoes? Can I try?”

~~~~~~~~

The first thing that was apparent when they walked the five miles to the prison was that it was… very infested.

Many walkers around the gate, many inside the gate, but that was probably because both of the rolling protective gates was opened, it was allowing walkers to come and go as they wished.

But the leaders had plans, they always did.

Yifan cut a wire around the prison with pliers, choosing a spot where not many of them were standing around.

Baekhyun pressed his back to the fence as he kicked a walker in the chest, sending it sprawling back.

“Watch the backside!” Yifan called as he slid through the whole.

“Got it!” Sunmi yelled, stabbing the walker Baekhyun kicked to the ground in the head with a pipe.

“Let’s go! Go!” Junmyeon urged, pushing everyone towards the hole.

Baekhyun saw Luhan shove Taeyong in first before everyone was shoving each other in.

“Hurry, hurry.” Minseok cried as Kyungsoo weaved a wire through the hole, making sure it was tightly sealed as walkers pressed up against the fence.

They now stood in the alley between two fences, one side the yard of the prison, and the other the open field and forest they had just come from.

“Lets go!” Chanyeol yelled, leading the group in a run.

The alley between the fences turned at an L and then stopped at a rolling fence that led to the yard.

The yard that was filled with walkers.

All of the creatures stumbling over to the fences loudly at their sounds.

“It’s perfect. If we can shut that gate, prevent more from filling the yard, we can pick off these walkers. We’ll take the field by tonight.” Minseok panted, pointing his machete at the opened gate.

“So how do we shut the gate?” Taehyung asked.

“I’ll do it. You guys cover me.” Jongin volunteered.

Baekhyun practically snarled, “No, it’s a suicide run.”

“I’m the fastest.” Jongin argued.

“No. You, Luhan, Sehun, and Kyungsoo draw as many as you can over there.” Yifan ordered, pointing to the fence opposite the gate.

“Kill them through the fence. Chanyeol, Jun, and Sunmi, go back to the other tower. Baekhyun, you’ve become a pretty good shot, take your time, we don’t have a lot of ammo to waste. Taehyung and Minseok, you both and Taeyong, take this tower. Jinhyuk… help.”

Baekhyun snickered

“Alright.” Taeyong nodded, spinning to the door to a tower and waiting for Taehyung.

“I’ll run for the gate.” Yifan nodded at Yixing who readied himself to roll the gate open for his soulmate.

“Let’s go!” Sehun began prompting the walkers, “Cone on!”

“Come on! Hey, come here!” The boys began yelling, leading walkers to the fence and stabbing through it.

“Come on! Hey, come here! Come on! Hey come on! Come on! Come on! Hey come on, get over here, come on!”

Baekhyun laid the tip of his gun through the gate as he followed Yifan running through walkers. “Come on, Hyung.” He mumbled, shooting a few walkers who got too close to the leader.

Yifan ran, Baekhyun saw a bullet fly almost through Yifan's arm and heard Taeyong scream out an apology, even though the leader probably didn’t even notice.

All the walkers began noticing the running figure and Baekhyun could feel his anxiety rushing as Yifan almost got tackled, quickly shooting the walker, a leg shot, but it got the creature down- good enough.

Yifan rolled the gate closed and Baekhyun sagged in relief, laughing in disbelief as Yifan climbed up a tower.

“He did it!” Luhan screamed.

“Light it up!” Kyungsoo added.

Baekhyun saw Yifan laughing as he too began shooting walkers down from his tower across the yard, all of them killing as many as they could.

“Wooooo! Come on, you motherfuckers!” Luhan cried like a manic at the last few walkers in the yard, tempting them towards the noise as he rattled the fence.

Baekhyun snickered and pulled his gun away from the fence, reloading.

“Fantastic!” Yixing laughed, almost looking like a child as he rolled open the gate once the last walker in the yard was shot down.

“Nice shooting.” Kyungsoo smiled and threw his arm around Baekhyun's neck. “Yeah?”

“Hyung! Did you see me?” Taeyong smiled and grabbed Jongin's shirt, “Noona said I was good.”

“Very good, Tae.” Jongin complimented, ruffling his hair.

“You okay?” Baekhyun called to Yixing as he walked into the yard looking almost star struck. “I haven’t felt this good in weeks.” The medic joked.

Baekhyun snorted, wrapping his arm around Kyungsoo's side.

“Oh! Oh, oh! We haven’t had this much space since we left the camp!” Minseok yelled, kicking a dead walker as if unsure it was fully down.

Baekhyun heard running and turned around only to squeal loudly when Chanyeol picked him up, holding him like a child. “Let’s play, baby!”

“Are you two!” Baekhyun wiggled with laughter as Chanyeol faked like he was going to drop him, hands tightening in his soulmates shirt.

Chanyeol only beamed, cupping the back of Baekhyun's head before actually placing him in a blank space grass, “All this space, little moon! Run around with me!”

Baekhyun giggled and held Chanyeol’s head to his chest, “Can’t we just rest for a while?”

“Ugh.” The elder groaned as if annoyed, but kept his wide grin. “Tag?”

Baekhyun snickered, pushing Chanyeol off him as he stood up, a smirk playing on his lips as he spun around and touched Taeyongs arm.

“Bug is it!”

~~~~~~~

Junmyeon let them have their fun for a while, truthfully less than an hour as they were all exhausted and needed to clean up these walkers.

It took them all day to drag them all into a pile on the gravel area of the courtyard.

It was better to get rid of them now though, before they decomposed even further, rotting bodies and guts merging together.

So, they currently had two fires going. One burning away the walkers corpses, and the other a bonfire, a few cans of beans resting near the heat to get warmed up.

“You think water will still be running?” Taehyung asked, chewing on a granola bar.

“Probably, the government tends to have a different sort of program for water in prisons, same with generators and power- they’ll probably have some manual ones we can figure out- I’m not sure that the utilities were completely shut off here though.” Junmyeon explained.

“Probably, that town not too far from here had power, and water, even boilers.” Luhan added, words mumbled into Sehun's arm.

“Fuck, i’d kill for a hot shower.” Kyungsoo stated, digging a clean knife into the top of a can.

Baekhyun smiled and motioned for Taeyong to lay his head in his lap when he saw the younger looking dazed.

“You did well, Tae.” He said softly, combing his brother's hair back, “Hyung is really proud of you, bug.”

“You know…” Yixing glanced across the fire at Baekhyun, “I always wondered about the nickname, does it have a story?”

Baekhyun laughed and nodded, running fingertips over the soft skin around his brother's cheek. “When Tae was little he used to be scared to death of bugs- any kind- ladybugs and spiders were the same to him.” He laughed and looked down at Taeyong smacking his lips in his sleep.

“And then this one time, he was crying and screaming about a butterfly that flew into his window, I think he was like… four, maybe. But he was sobbing so hard, and it was ridiculously cute. So I caught the butterfly for him and told him that he should look at it because it was so pretty, and I figured if he saw all the colors maybe he wouldn’t be so afraid.

And it worked, he was so excited, ‘Hyung I want to keep it, and he can stay with me always’ he told me. And I told him we didn’t keep bugs because they liked to go outside and see things. And he argued, his little four year old self crying, so I told him, ‘Bugs like to stick together, and they have to go home and see their families too, they don’t want to be alone.’”

Baekhyun smiled and looked around the fire, “And he said he wanted to be a bug so he could always stick to me too, so he didn’t have to be alone. So, it’s always me and Taeyong, it’s always been us, we’re a family.”

“We’re a family.” Minseok said softly, expression so fond it had Baekhyun looking slightly confused. “My blood, my family is sitting right here.” He added.

“That’s the cop out we get, isn’t it?” Baekhyun said softly, “When you care about people… hurt is part of the package, but we get to be a family, even if it’s only for a little while, even if we do horrible things to keep it this way.”

“All of us have earned a place here.” Junmyeon said softly, “And all of us will continue to do the worst kinds of things for each other, but we can make it together, or we die trying, and I think dying for family… it would be honorable.”

“Just don’t let me turn.” Taehyung laughed, his awkwardness taking away the tearful tension. “I think we can all agree, none of us want to turn out to look like one of those motherfuckers.”

The group laughed, Baekhyun resting his shoulder on Jongin's side with a grin.

“Alright.” Yifan groaned as he stood to his feet, “Better all turn in. I’ll take watch over there on the tower, we’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

“What do you mean?” Yixing frowned up at his soulmate.

“Look, I know we’re all exhausted. This was a great win. But we gotta push just a little bit more. Most of the walkers are dressed as guards or prisoners, and it looks like this place fell pretty early. Could mean the supplies may be intact. They have an infirmary, a commissary.” Yifan sighed, looking apologetic.

Baekhyun saw people perk up, “An armory?” Sehun asked.

“That would be outside the prison itself, but not too far away. Warden’s offices would have info on the location. Weapons, food, medicine, this place could be a gold mine.” Junmyeon added, “The inside is probably flooded, but it’s worth it.”

“We’re dangerously low on ammo. We’ll run out before we make a dent.” Sunmi pointed out quietly.

“That’s why we gotta go in there. Hand to hand. After all we’ve been through, we can handle it, I know it. These walkers don’t stand a chance.” Yifan said adamantly, “Now rest up, and tomorrow around this time, we’ll have beds.”

And only god knew how badly Baekhyun wanted a bed again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all ready for some angst or no? Don’t worry, you guys know I can’t handle it.


	16. Confess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun gets a bed.

The inner courtyard wasn’t an issue, the main issue was getting into the actual prison.

But it would be dark until they could get power, and to get power they needed to get inside the cell blocks and kill the walkers they were sure infested the place.

“Let’s just go, back to back.” Luhan suggested, “Nobody use gunshots, it will echo off the walls and all of us will be stunned.”

“Okay, then Taeyong needs to sit out.” Yixing said softly, “Sorry, sweetheart, you’re good with guns, but you’d get overpowered.”

Taeyong only pressed his tongue to his cheek in annoyance, but otherwise didn’t argue with Yixing which was good because Baekhyun was ready to agree with the medic.

“If we go in silently, then we can sneak up- hopefully.” Kyungsoo agreed, “Lets walk in pairs.”

“Me and Yifan Hyung.” Chanyeol said immediately, “We’re the strongest, we should go first.”

“Hyung didn’t sleep last night.” Baekhyun said gently, “He’s not in a good state, he can sit out.”

He saw Yifan go to argue and laughed at Yixings immediately glare that kept the leaders mouth shut.

“Okay, then me and Sehun.” Chanyeol corrected, “Then… Taehyung and Baekhyun, Kyungsoo and Junmyeon, sound good?”

“I’m gonna start clearing a few I saw near a shed.” Sunmi added, “It looks like it might be a stairwell or something, the wall looks down on the other side of the prison though, I noticed from the west tower.”

“That’s okay, we can rebuild, and we only need a wing opened for now.” Junmyeon rubbed his eyes, “Also, take some people with you- nobody goes alone.”

“I’ll go inside the cell blocks too.” Jinhyuk sighed, “I haven’t killed more than like ten walkers, ever. I should… try.”

Baekhyun smiled and sent the man an approving head nod.

“Alright, Min Hyung, you going with Sunmi?” Chanyeol stood up and offered Baekhyun his hand. The eldest nodded in response.

“Hyung, can you show me how to fight?” Baekhyun heard Taeyong asking Jongin and laughed quietly.

“Okay.” Yifan sighed as he held the door handle to open the main area door, “If it’s too many you guys come back, all of you.” He ordered.

“Okay.” Kyungsoo agreed, hands tight around his tire iron.

Baekhyun twisted his knife in his hand anxiously, sensing a nod to Taehyung beside him.

“Be safe.” The leader added, opening the door.

It actually wasn’t as dark as they expected, a window at the end of the hallway shining, giving them a narrow area of light.

Baekhyun could hear the nervous shuffling of someone behind him, it had to be Jinhyuk as he new Kyungsoo and Junmyeon definitely weren’t that nervous- and weren’t stupid enough to be so loud about it- but nobody could talk as they listened out for walkers.

It was silent as they walked down a corridor, no sign at all as they walked on.

Chanyeol stopped the group in the front, looking back with a finger to his mouth as he reached down to grab a set of keys off a dead guard.

Quietly, Chanyeol unlocked the main door that closed off the corridor of cells. At the sound of the metal squeaking open a few walkers groaned.

Sehun immediately began stabbing them, rushing forward.

Baekhyun and Taehyung stopped to stab a few walkers through the cells.

“Oh-god-“ A groan, a scream, and then a gunshot rang out behind Baekhyun.

Everyone’s eardrums practically burst at the pressurized noise and cement walls only echoing before it occurred to Baekhyun that someone was groaning in pain.

“Fuck!” He yelled, pushing past Taehyung and Junmyeon and kneeling on the ground, “Fuck, Soo… Soo… oh my god.”

Baekhyun couldn't tell if he just couldn’t make out what Kyungsoo was saying because of his ears ringing or if he was in shock as Kyungsoo held pressure to his leg.

“Jinhyuk, you… you idiot.” Junmyeon sighed, reaching down to close the man’s eyes, a large bite from his neck already having spilled too much of the man’s blood. He then turned and stabbed the walker that gnawed on the chunk of flesh between the cell bars.

“Kyungsoo!” Baekhyun cried, running his hands over his soulmates face, pressing his forehead down onto his soulmates, “Soo- Hyung, Hyung!”

“Someone get Yixing!” Chanyeol yelled, kneeling beside them.

“Fuck, Baek, you need to move, I need to see.” Chanyeol urged gently, “Babe, I know, please.”

Kyungsoo groaned, holding his thigh, “Baby, baby I’m okay- fuck, fuck, I’m good.”

“Hy-ung!” Baekhyun sobbed, realizing he was in the way as he fell onto his hip on the other side, “Don’t- don't ever scare me like this!” He scolded, “Don’t ever- I th-thought you were bit!”

“It’s not that bad.” Chanyeol said softly, “We’ll need antibiotics, but it looks like the bullet went in and out, he’ll be fine.”

“Everyone else come clean out the cell.” Junmyeon demanded, “This block will be good.”

“Shh, Baek.” Kyungsoo murmured softly, “It doesn’t hurt that bad, it’s okay.”

Baekhyun sat back, pulling his knees to his chest as he watched Yixing run in, “You got shot.” He whispered, pressing his shaking hands into his eyes. “Hyung-Hyung you were shot.”

“Someone needs to get him out of here before he goes into shock.” The medic suggested.

Baekhyun stiffened at the thought, turning to wrap shaking hands into Kyungsoo's shirt, “No! No, I’m staying!”

“Baby… babe, you’re no-“ Chanyeol reached out for him.

“No!” Baekhyun screeched, shoving his hands away, “Stop, I love him, he’s mine!”

Chanyeol gawked at him while Kyungsoo was already dazed on blood loss, unable to really pay much attention anyways.

“Don’t touch me- leave me alone!”

Jongin ran in then, moving around people trying to clear out the cell block, “Fuck, I’m sorry I’m late, I had to lose Tae. Fuck, Hyung.” He murmured, watching Yixing cut away Kyungsoo's jeans.

“What happene- why do you have that look on your face?” He questioned Chanyeol before shaking his head. “Soo Hyung, are you conscious?”

“‘M good.” Kyungsoo slurred slightly.

“Hey, Baekhyun.” Yifan said gently, kneeling down to touch the man’s arm, “Hey, why don’t you go set up your guys cell, you guys can have the perch up there, we won’t even fight you for it.” He prompted, passing Baekhyun a set of keys, “We’ll bring Kyungsoo up as soon as he’s all wrapped up.”

Baekhyun looked up with puffy eyes, lips bitten red and his soulmates looked pained at the sight, “P-promise?”

“Of course.” Yifan murmured, “Of course, the door is just up those stairs, we need him moved so we can get the walkers out, sweetheart. Yeah- there you go, honey.” He smiled gently and helped the shaking man to his feet, “I’ll take you, we don’t want you falling over.”

“S-Soo..” Baekhyun whispered, looking over his shoulder as Yifan began guiding him towards a small set of stairs.

“It’s okay, see. He’s not alone, it’s okay. Yixing is the best, I swear.”

Baekhyun gulped, but trusted Yifan with his life.

~~~~~~

“What do you think?” Junmyeon nodded at Yifan as they sat at a table in the resting area outside the cell block.

“Home sweet home.” The other laughed. “For the time being.”

“It’s secure?” Minseok questioned as he took a seat beside his soulmate.

Junmyeon hummed and looked down the hallway of the cell block, watching Chanyeol and Jongin pick up Kyungsoo. “This cell block is.”

“What about the rest of the prison?” Sunmi asked quietly, as she had been since Jinhyuk had died. She spent the most time with him, and although he was a horrid man, he was still a person.

“In the morning, we’ll find the cafeteria, and the infirmary.” Yifan explained, smiling as Taeyong bounced his way in. “Hyung, we’ll sleep in the cells?”

Yixing smiled at the kid as he peeled his gloves off, pushing him towards the cell block, “Pick a cell, sweetie, we’d prefer close to others.”

“Yeol found the keys on some guards. I have a set too.” Junmyeon said, “We can pick sets off guards until everyone gets some.”

“I’m so exhausted, I don’t even care.” Minseok groaned.

~~~~~~~~

Baekhyun had calmed down a bit as he had pulled the thin mattresses off the tops of cots on the second floor of the cell block, dragging them over to the locked down perch.

It wasn’t exactly private, but it was basically a cell that was used for the night watch guards, a door locking it off from the others and it was more open.

Baekhyun suspected everyone chose cells far from there to give them more privacy though, so he appreciated it- or it was to give themselves more privacy.

“Let me see you, baby.” Jongin whispered, sitting down beside where Baekhyun was seated criss crossed on the piles of mattresses, running fingers through Kyungsoo's hair.

“Arms up.” The elder whispered, pulling the edge of Baekhyun's shirt up. He complied a bit confused as Jongin pulled it off and began looking at the dirtied skin of his neck and shoulders.

“What are you doing?” Baekhyun laughed quietly at the fingers running along his skin.

“Checking for scratches.” Jongin replied, looking up at Chanyeol who pulled his shirt off to get comfortable.

Baekhyun smiled adoringly as Jongin pressed a kiss to his shoulder and then neck, “You’re okay.” Jongin mumbled before pulling the younger to his chest.

Baekhyun closed his eyes and cupped Jongin's jaw, pressing a stray kiss to his ear. “I love you.”

Jongin pulled back with a disbelieving laugh, eyes glossing over. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” The younger smiled and smiled as Chanyeol pulled his hips back to rest in between his legs. “I have… I think.”

“We love you.” Chanyeol whispered, chin on Baekhyun's shoulder, “We’ve loved you.”

Baekhyun nodded and furrowed his brows to keep from crying as he grabbed Kyungsoo's limp hand, he was only sleeping, but Baekhyun found it unnerving. “I know, I’ll tell you guys everyday now.”

“Tell me again.” Jongin murmured, a soft request.

“I love you, Hyung.” Baekhyun swallowed hard and turned to press his nose to Chanyeol’s jaw, “I love you too, and I love Kyungsoo. Everyday, whenever you want, I’ll tell you guys.”

Chanyeol pressed his cheek to the nape of Baekhyun's neck, but the younger could still feel warm tears run over his skin.

“Because… everytime we step out it’s a risk, everytime we get up it's a risk, we breathe and it’s a risk, and I-I want you guys to know… that-that I do love you, so much, so much. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.” Baekhyun sobbed, sucking his trembling lip between his teeth for composure.

“There’s no reason to be sorry.” Jongin whispered, “There’s no reason, baby. We knew, we knew you felt the same.” It was a lie, and Baekhyun knew it, but Jongin was so good at faking genuinely it was concerning.

“Hyungs!” They heard squealing as Taeyong stomped up the metal stairs and all of them sighed in relief as his head poked in. “Hi, I heard Soo Hyung got hurt.”

“He’s okay.” Chanyeol said softly, wiping his face.

Taeyong frowned, “Then why was everyone crying? You guys all look like you’re crying.” He observed.

“Happy tears, bug.” Baekhyun murmured, offering him a hand, “You want to spend the night with us?”

Taeyong laughed in embarrassment and nodded, “I chose a cell… right around here, so if anything happens I can come here first.” He explained, laying down on the mattress beside Kyungsoo.

“That’s smart, sweetheart. Hyungs appreciate the thought.” Jongin said, grabbing the piles of folded blankets and distributing them, “Now I’m tired, let’s sleep, and tomorrow let’s hope there’s lots of food in the cafeteria.”

Baekhyun laughed and laid down between Taeyong and Kyungsoo so the younger wouldn’t accidentally kick him or anything. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight, love you.” Chanyeol replied.

“Love you Hyungs.” Taeyong murmured, Baekhyun smiled and curled his arm around his brother's waist, “Love you all.”

For once, Baekhyun didn’t feel overwhelming guilt when he heard Jongin's own muffled, “We love you both, so much.”

~~~~~~

The next morning he must have slept in more than usual, because he didn’t feel tired at all.

He rolled onto his side where Taeyong used to be laying, he probably ran off bright and early. He sat up on his elbows as he watched Jongin and Chanyeol get dressed.

“Good morning, sweetheart.”

Baekhyun smiled and turned to look at Kyungsoo, “Good morning, how do you feel?”

“I feel like I deserve some love, don’t you think?”

Baekhyun giggled and scooted over to press a kiss to his soulmates forehead, “You do.”

“Don’t you have something special to say, sweetheart?” Jongin chirped, bending over to touch the back of Baekhyun's head for a moment.

Baekhyun hummed and pressed a soft kiss to Kyungsoo's mouth, observing how his soulmate took his time to reopen his eyes before bumping his nose on the youngers gently.

“I love you, Kyungsoo Hyung.”

Kyungsoo frowned as if confused, jerking his head back for a moment as he licked over his lips. Baekhyun laughed fondly, curling into a ball on his side as he watched Kyungsoo's expression change into borderline tearful. “Am I still knocked out?”

Baekhyun heard Jongin and Chanyeol laugh behind him. “No, it feels like it huh?” Chanyeol inquired.

Baekhyun only leaned up on his elbow to press a few shy kisses to Kyungsoo's cheek, resting his nose against his soulmates cheekbone. “I do. I love you.”

“I love you.” Kyungsoo muttered immediately, still a bit of confusion in his tone, “I love you, so much. You know, baby, you know.”

“I was scared, Hyung.” Baekhyun responded, “I freaked out- what if that was your scream? What if that gunshot was any higher, could have hit your chest- your head. And then I realized… I can’t- I can’t keep pretending to brush off everything because I’m scared to trust… because life fucked me up.

Not in this world, not when… everything we do comes with consequences, with chances of not surviving. So, I want to tell the truth… and I want you guys to know… that I do love you guys, so much, love you so much. Thank you… for taking care of me….” Baekhyun gulped and Kyungsoo grabbed his jaw to pull him towards his chest with a soft noise.

“Oh, sweetheart. We love you. You don’t need to thank us, baby. You take care of us too, you keep us happy too, it’s okay, shh.”

“I like… I like it when you guys take care of Ta-Taeyong like he’s your brother.” Baekhyun whispered against Kyungsoo's shirt, his happy tears falling into the fabric. “I like when you guys touch my face an-and you tell me I’m beautiful and nice things. When you protect me and Tae. I like to be treated gently, softly.

You guys know… you know I don’t like to be held certain ways, I don’t like to… be told certain things, but you know- you know and I love when you guys know without me telling you. I love you, love you guys.”

“We love you, Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo cooed, pressing his lips to Baekhyun's forehead, “We know you, we know you and you know us just as well, love. I’ve known Chanyeol and Jongin my whole life and you think I noticed things you do? No, of course not, because I don’t pay attention as much as you do.

I didn’t even know Jongin's favorite fruit was pears until you ranted about finding some the other day. Or how you noticed Chanyeol had to check locks three times or else he would be fidgety the whole day, no, I never noticed, but you notice things, baby, and we know you love us because you pay so much attention to us, even when you didn’t say it.”

“You do this thing.” Baekhyun sat up and pulled his blanket up to his chest, “When you're bored you pout, but you don’t realize you’re doing it.” He laughed and then smiled up at Jongin when he laid a jacket over his shoulders. “Jonginnie taps his cheek when he gets confused, everytime. Chanyeol does this thing in his sleep… it's like a whimpering noise, used to scare the shit out of me until I realized he was just… dreaming and that it was a good noise.”

“Oh, shit.” Chanyeol whispered, bending down to pull Baekhyun to his chest, “We love you, Baekhyunnie, anything you want, baby, you deserve it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for reading this! We’re you surprised Kyungsoo was injured? Those of you that have seen the show will realize what I’m doing in a few chapters...


	17. The Medic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yixing tries to help Baekhyun.

Baekhyun wasn’t happy about it, not at all. But the boys had went off to clear out the cafeteria, and see what else they could get cleaned up.

Well, not Kyungsoo he was still resting, and he was going to need antibiotics if the wounds didn’t start closing up within a week or so.

Yixing had stitched it up the best he could, but the infirmary here didn’t seem as stocked up as they had hoped and Baekhyun wanted to smack some sense into Taeyong who had went off to clear said place himself, “Hyung, it’s no big deal, I killed two walkers.” Taeyong had told him.

It wasn’t, he couldn’t exactly yell at Taeyong for it, but he could still be upset.

“Hey.” Baekhyun looked up from his half eaten can of beans, other hand holding a prison map layout. “Xing Hyung, hey.”

“Hey, sweetheart, mind if we talk?”

Baekhyun frowned, setting his spoon down, “Something wrong with Soo?”

The medic gave him an apologetic smile and shook his head, taking a seat across from him. “No, well we won’t know for a bit, but that’s not why I wanted to talk.”

“Oh, okay?” Baekhyun mumbled, confused, “Are you okay?”

Yixing laughed, “I’m fine… I just wanted to talk to you.” He licked his lips and looked across Baekhyun's face for a moment, “Remember the other day in the church?”

Baekhyun raised a brow in confusion before nodding, “Yes, Hyung…”

“Well, I know it was a private conversation, but… uh- if you ever need to talk or anything… I’m actually a Psychiatrist… well, I was in my eighth year of training so I studied mental health and medical practice.” Yixing started at him almost apologetically, “So… if you need anything… I’d gladly talk to you, honey.”

Baekhyun pulled his hood over his head, almost self consciously. “What makes you think I need help?”

The medic frowned and scanned his weary expression, “If you didn’t you wouldn’t be so defensive right now.”

“Maybe I’m uncomfortable.” Baekhyun mumbled softly, hair blocking his eyes.

“No, I think you want to talk and you just don’t know what to say. I care about you, and some people may try to say it’s not okay to reminisce in the past… but that doesn’t really apply to you, Baekhyun. Does it? You can’t just forget, you can’t push it off even if you wanted to, and that’s the problem… is it not?” Yixing argued softly, reaching across the table and touching Baekhyun's sleeve covered hand.

The younger chewed on his lip before reluctantly nodding and leaning onto his elbows, “It's…. it’s been months, you know.”

“Since you came?”

“Yes, it’s been months since I met the boys.” Baekhyun smiled fondly at the mention of them, “And I only just… just last night told them that I loved them… the first time, Hyung. And they’ve been telling me since… since the first few days practically.”

Yixing frowned, “Really?”

Baekhyun nodded and began pulling at a string on the edge of his jacket, dirtied fingers that were sore and raw. “It’s so… mean, isn’t it? It’s been so long, Hyung and I haven’t… I’ve barely touched them, they’ve barely touched me, they know… and they’re so nice about it, but that doesn’t mean it’s… it’s not right, not how things should be. It took this long for me to… fully trust my own soulmates, ignoring the pull for so long.”

“But you want help though.” Yixing pointed out, “You can talk to me, Baek. We should start talking every once in a while… there’s some things I’m sure you wouldn’t want them to know, and maybe I can help you, I’d never judge you, never. I swear, we’re family, sweetheart.”

“Can you stomach it?” The way Baekhyun laughed was dry and emotionless and made Yixing cringe in sympathy, “Hyung, I’m messed up. I contradict myself a lot, I… can’t really stand myself, I’m not even sure I care about the abuse anymore, it was so long ago.”

“But it sticks.” Yixing murmured, “It sticks and that’s why you find yourself unable to do certain things, or, even doing things you otherwise don’t need to, feeling things you don’t have a reason to. It’s your mind pushing memories back, but your unconscious is giving you signals, trying to keep you from more harm, or even making you feel like you might need to do things… normal people probably wouldn’t.

You can tell me whatever you want, sweetheart. It’s just you and me, that’s all that needs to know, I won’t even tell Yifan- it’s nobody’s business but yours. Sure, I might get overwhelmed… maybe angry, but it’s because I care about you, Baekhyun, and you’re so sweet, you’re so kind to everyone even when you don’t need to be, and you didn’t deserve to be treated… so… horribly.”

Baekhyun leaned back on the bench, pulling his hands out of the medics reach and saw a flicker of disappointment fall over Yixings face before he quickly played it off, waiting for Baekhyun's response.

“I don’t have nightmares anymore.” Baekhyun began, watching Yixing smile instead of looking worried, “I sleep, I can eat, I feel okay most of the time. But… then I’ll hear something loud, or something aggressive, my heart starts beating quickly, and I feel like puking.”

“That’s normal, you have some trauma, it doesn’t just disappear, Baekhyun. But we can work on it.” Yixing said softly.

“You’re right too.” Baekhyun whispered, “You said… I might feel things I don’t have reasons for, want to or will do things even though I didn’t know why I was doing them.”

“Does it happen a lot?”

Baekhyun tilted his head as he tried to think before shaking his head, “Not… a lot… but randomly. Like… when we could all hear Sehun and Luhan in the woods… I feel really guilty, but I know my soulmates- they don’t care that we haven’t… done things, but I want to, I’m curious, I’m damaged, but I’m not broken, I understand that what happened to me was wrong.”

Yixing nodded, “Very wrong, Baekhyun.”

“I get… urges.” The younger whispered, almost like he was scared people would overhear even though almost everyone was out clearing the cell blocks, Kyungsoo was passed out down the hallway, and Taeyong was outside practicing with Sunmi. “I’ll… for example I’ll see um… I’ll see Chanyeol eating something or maybe… even just being… being his handsome self, but either way he has something I want.

So, say I wanted the snack, or even just his attention… I could go ask, right? And he’d give it immediately becau-because that’s what my soulmates do, they… love me, care for me, but… the first thing that comes to my mind is… is that I could offer myself to him.” Baekhyun wiped his eyes with his sleeve, no tears were falling, but his eyes burned, “It’s… it's disgusting right? I should want to… have sex with him because I love him, and I do love him, but… I want to just… have sex with him the first time because I want attention or even over something as small as a snack- simple things- things they give me daily, things I honestly don’t need to ask for.”

“It’s the only way you know how to get things you want- wanted.” Yixing corrected himself, “Don’t feel bad, obviously your mind is sorting itself out, because you wouldn’t be thinking things like that about others, just your soulmates, right? Your thoughts don’t just change that fast, so I’m assuming in the past you’ve had the same thoughts… not about them.”

Baekhyun released a dry whimper and felt like his whole chest was on fire as he agreed, “I can’t- I don’t think like that about anyone but-but my soulmates, but… but before I have, I mean… you’d give up anything for your family, or is it just me? Like… like if Taeyong needed something… that’s- I’m all I had to offer.”

“Of course, for anyone in this prison, Baekhyun. Your thoughts are… a bit tangled up, but your morals are still right. You don’t need to explain yourself, you don’t need to tell me reasons for doing things, they don’t matter to me, what matters is that I can help you try to sort them out.” The elder explained.

“I never did though… just-just so you know, I don’t… you said not to explain myself, but… I want you to know.” Baekhyun murmured.

Yixing smiled kindly and shook his head, “I wouldn’t have thought any different of you even if you did, honey. What you do… it’s your business, but I guess that’s a plus about soulmates, huh? They can shake you up or calm you down pretty quickly, you trust them fast- even if you think you don’t, same with love. You may think you don’t- but you do.”

“Is it… is it the same with… uh-interest. Like… like I think I don’t want to… to have sex but… I really do… but it needs to be… needs to have a reason- I don’t want to have more meaningless sex-“

“It wasn’t sex, Baekhyun, you were raped. Sex is different, you want to be intimate, but you don’t want the pain. You’re not afraid of having sex, your mind is giving you mixed signals because it constantly is remembering bad experiences, so when you think about doing something intimate now you’re either probably panicking, or maybe… maybe even getting a little giddy because you’re interpreting it as getting something in return, whether it be something or even just attention. Am I wrong?”

Baekhyun opened his mouth but closed it quickly at the sound of metal grinding as the cell doors pushed open, feet rustling in.

“Baek!” Baekhyun felt himself smiling even at just the sound of his soulmate calling for him, “We’re in here!” He responded, sending Yixing an appreciative look he hoped the medic would interpret accordingly.

“Babe, you won’t believe it!” Jongin laughed and Baekhyun giggled as Chanyeol draped himself over his back, pressing his sweaty face into Baekhyun's cheek. “We found the shower blocks, and the water… it can get warm!”

“Oh my god.” Baekhyun whispered before his face broke out into a smile, “Let’s go! Let’s go!”

~~~~~~~

The showers were nice, well, they were nice enough.

They were separate blocks, which was also nice.

Each one was about eight feet by eight feet, a cell door that locked the squares individually, they even still had shampoo and soap inside, well, it was to be expected- they weren’t exactly priority when the world ended.

“This is so nice.” Baekhyun smiled as he began to peel his grimy clothes off, laying his clean clothes in the corner far away from the rows of shower heads, there were a few, but some of them looked broken, not that it really mattered because the three of them- four when Kyungsoo could walk- would probably share them anyways.

At this point, Baekhyun was confident being exposed to them, they never touched him, barely even laying hands on him in general other than to coddle or kiss him, never straying down passed his hips.

“Can’t wait to get rid of some of this.. blood, I can’t get it out of my nose.” Chanyeol groaned.

Baekhyun laughed and turned to look over at them, both of his soulmates already turning on their own faucets. Even their backs were gorgeous, muscular and strong, Baekhyun couldn't find it in him to be jealous though, because they liked their size differences, how Baekhyun wasn’t toned and muscular, that he was soft and small.

Baekhyun liked it too, he liked how Jongin liked to rest his chin on Baekhyun's head because he was too tall and it probably hurt his neck to rest at an odd angle on his shoulder, how Kyungsoo could man handle him from the floor and carry him around like he weighed nothing, and Chanyeol… Chanyeol was practically double his size… everywhere, it was a bit inconvenient sometimes, but the eldest never had anything to complain about, only praise his tiny soulmate.

“Me too!” Baekhyun chirped as he finished kicking his jeans away, moving over to the faucet in between them. “My hair is so itchy recently.”

“Here.” Jongin said, offering him a bottle of shampoo, “Although I still think you look pretty, even with all that dirt, reminds me when I saw you in the pond.”

“Oh, I agree.” Chanyeol laughed, eyes closed as he merely stood under the stream of water, “Our baby, so cute so long ago, and even cuter now.”

“Ugh, you guys are so biased.” Baekhyun giggled and went back for more shampoo to lather up as he scrubbed his hair, “I was completely embarrassed.”

“It was cute though, I guess I did come on a bit too strong though.” Jongin murmured, abandoning his stream of water to go to Baekhyun's. He probably would say, ‘I’m helping’ if Baekhyun asked why, not that he really cared the reason when he got his youngest soulmates attention. “I should probably apologize for being so forward, hm? But it was so long ago, and you looked so pretty I couldn’t help it.”

“I thought you were a player.” Baekhyun smiled as he felt Jongin lather his stained hands with soap, “I figured you probably flirted with everyone, so I wasn’t… too concerned.”

“Oh, but I did not, gorgeous.” Jongin wiggled his brows and pressed a kiss to Baekhyun's wet jaw, pressing himself into Baekhyun's side, not sexually, only for attention. “But I genuinely had no idea you were our soulmate, but… you were so adorable, I think I physically couldn’t help it.”

“You hit on him too?” Chanyeol laughed deeply, Baekhyun thought the way his black hair spread out weirdly in water was endearing. “What was it I said? You can come to me or something?”

“First, you said, ‘holy shit’.” Baekhyun giggled and felt Jongin laugh against his shoulder blade. “Then you called me too skinny and said, ‘You ever need anything, gorgeous, you come to me.’” He mimicked.

Chanyeol cheeks reddened but he only smirked, “You remember that so clearly? You like us this much, hm?”

Baekhyun smiled genuinely, “Of course, I remember everything you guys have ever said to me. I pay attention to you all the time.” He felt Jongin's arms wrap around his waist, the elder pressing his cheek to Baekhyun's neck.

“Love you, doll.” Jongin murmured.

“I love you too.” Baekhyun said immediately, turning around to cup Jongin's face, “Love you, so much, Hyung.”

The way Jongin's eyes lit up as he surged down for a wet kiss was painstakingly adorable, and Baekhyun didn’t feel as guilty waiting so long when they took his affection so preciously.

“Our little moon.” Chanyeol's voice was always hard to ignore, even when Baekhyun's mouth was attached to Jongin's, licking water from his lips.

Chanyeol's hand ran along the curve of his spine until it rested just above Baekhyun's tailbone, as if he suddenly deemed his own action inappropriate. Baekhyun hated when he caught them doing stuff like that- almost like they were scared to try anything with him unless he did it first, it was annoying.

Even when Baekhyun could feel them pressing against their pants hard when they kissed, they never tried anything, and Baekhyun found it difficult to offer when he wasn’t sure they could tell he wanted it too.

“So beautiful, so sweet, I love you.” The eldest added.

Baekhyun smiled into Jongin's mouth, turning his head to look up at Chanyeol as Jongin pressed kisses to the side of his face. “Hyung, I love you.”

Chanyeol laughed brightly, pressing his palm to Baekhyun's forehead and rubbing the water off his skin. “You have no idea how happy we are to hear you say that, love.”

“I promised I’d tell you whenever you wanted.” Baekhyun whispered, fingers twirling into Jongin's hair as the man pressed his mouth to his jaw. “I love you both, love Kyungsoo, love all of you.”

“Oh fuck.” Jongin murmured, pulling his head back, “We need to get Hyung cleaned up, I’ll go get a bucket.” He realized, turning off the faucets and walking towards the cell door.

Baekhyun started laughing loudly, making Jongin spin around, confused.

“I do like the sight… but you should put some clothes on, you’re mine.”

“Oh shit.” Chanyeol laughed, wrapping a towel around Baekhyun's shoulders, “Look at that, baby, you out did him- he’s blushing- knew you could do it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooo some shit is gonna go down soon...


	18. Taken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unexpected situations.

Baekhyun frowned and ran gentle fingers through Kyungsoo's hair as Chanyeol sat the injured man up.

It had been a few days, and the prison was really coming together. Minseok had even started talking about starting a garden in the springtime, apparently he had been a botanist before all of this.

“I know, Hyung, I’ll send Xing Hyung in here later the check.” Baekhyun murmured, pressing a kiss to Kyungsoo's temple.

Kyungsoo grunted in pain as Jongin pulled his pants off.

Baekhyun curled his lip up at the disgusting colored stitches, they didn’t even look like they were helping keep the wound closed or cleaner than it would be if the entry or exit wounds were opened.

“Fuck, someone talk about something… this shit fucking hurts.” Kyungsoo moaned as Chanyeol wiped around the stitches carefully with a clean rag.

“I-my therapy is going well.” Baekhyun said immediately, brushing Kyungsoo's damp hair from his face, “Hyung said it was.”

“Yeah?” Jongin said gently, squeezing Baekhyun's arm when he saw him cringe at Kyungsoo's groan. “How many sessions has it been, babe?”

Baekhyun pressed his nose to Kyungsoo's hair, “Three. I feel… better.”

“That’s- fuck- that’s good.” Kyungsoo flinched.

“Okay, I really need to get someone to check on you.” Chanyeol said softly, “It’s been over a week, Kyungsoo, it should be healing by now.”

“I’ll send Hyung in, I was gonna go talk to him a little more.” Baekhyun said softly, brushing his lips across Kyungsoo's cheekbone.

“No, I’ll just get Junmyeon, he knows some.” Jongin argued, “You go talk to Hyung, we’ll come get you if something’s up.”

“Yeah.” Kyungsoo grumbled, “Go ahead, baby. Love you.” He whispered, crossing his arms over his bare chest.

Baekhyun frowned, “Love you too.” He whispered, “I don’t want to leave you here.”

“We’ll be with him.” Chanyeol muttered, “Now give us kisses and get your pretty ass outta here.”

~~~~~~~

“I want to try to… sleep with one of my soulmates.” Baekhyun chewed his lip and glanced at the cell doorway to make sure nobody was lingering before snapping back to look at Yixing.

Yixing grinned, the cute dimpled one that reminded Baekhyun of the dimple on one of Chanyeol's cheeks. “That’s very interesting, sweetie, what made you come to that conclusion?”

“I… I…” Baekhyun ran his sweaty palms over his pants, “You said last time that I shouldn’t remember intimacy as something bad… I don’t want to anymore.”

“Don’t base your decisions on that alone, Baekhyun.”

“I’m not.” The younger said immediately, “I’m not… you know I’ve been wanting to, but…. maybe I’ll do it.. probably not now, not when Soo is… not healing very well.”

“Even if you did.” Yixing said softly, “Even if you did, your soulmates would be very proud of you, Kyungsoo included. I’m sure they’d be thrilled just to know you considered it.”

“They know.” Baekhyun said immediately, “They're not… they're not clueless, they know my problems, it’s pretty annoying sometimes. But… they care, maybe too much, maybe that’s why I get so annoyed sometimes, but they do know I want too.”

“You guys talk about it? It’s good to talk to them about such things, Baek. I’m really proud of you, it’s better to talk, right?” Yixing asked.

“Yeah.” Baekhyun smiled and leaned his elbows onto his knees, “Some things… they’d be too much for them… it’d only make them more reluctant to-“

“Hyung! Hyungs!”

Baekhyun sighed and rubbed his temple. Taeyong did what he liked nowadays, but still managed to seek Baekhyun out at the most inconvenient times.

“What’s up, Tae?” Yixing said, a perfect smile even as he noticed Baekhyun rolling his eyes.

Taeyong huffed like he had just ran a mile as he grabbed onto the cold metal doorframe. “Hyung, Soo Hyung has a fever, Jun Hyung said he needs antibiotics.”

Baekhyun jumped up immediately, “There’s a store on the map, a few miles north, I’ll make a run.” He said frantically, walking out into the hallways and jogging towards his perch.

“Woah, wait, we don’t go out alone, Baekhyun.” Minseok called as the younger booked it past the sitting area.

“Don’t care.” Baekhyun responded, “I don’t care, I’m going.”

“I’ll go with him.” Jongin called over the perch railing, tossing Baekhyun his gun and holster, “We’ll be back in a few hours.”

“Guys, you don’t need to go right this second, it’s not that urgent… we have tea, it can help fight the infection, it’s not that urgent right this second.” Sehun tried, “Don’t make me go get Hyung from watch.”

“It doesn’t matter, Yeol will just want to go with them.” Yifan interrupted, “Be back before dark, we’ll send an army if you two don’t come back.” He threatened, digging on a shelf behind him and passing over an empty backpack to Jongin when he hurried down the stairs.

Baekhyun grabbed a knife from one of the tables, glancing at Taehyung giving Jongin keys.

“Hyung, I’ll watch over Kyungsoo Hyung.” Taeyong said, a stern look on his face.

Baekhyun nodded, turning to press his palm to Taeyongs cheek, “We’ll be back, watch Hyung closely, okay?”

“Aish, don’t be so dramatic, squirrel. No more than three hours and if you both aren’t back you bet we’re all coming to drag your asses back here.” Luhan called, “Now get your asses going, we’ll get Kyungsoo some tea, he’ll be fine.”

“We can’t risk infections these days.” Jongin responded, “Just because he’s okay now doesn’t mean he will be tomorrow. We’re wasting daylight, let’s go Baek.”

~~~~~~

Baekhyun leaned his head back against the headrest, fingers playing with the leather on the doorframe. “What exactly did Jun Hyung find?”

Jongin chewed his lip for a moment before glancing off the road and at his soulmates profile for a mere second, “High fever, apparently Hyung didn’t want to scare us and said that his leg was burning.”

“Fucking idiot.” Baekhyun growled, “After we get these meds, I’ll fucking strangle him.”

Jongin snorted, glancing at the map before swerving around a walker, “We’ll help you, doll face.”

The younger smiled for a second, looking out the window, “But they said he was fine right? Yixing Hyung would have been more panicked- everyone would have been.”

“Of course, baby. It wasn’t that bad, but we better get the medicine now and be safe.” At Jongin's word, Baekhyun felt much more relieved.

Baekhyun nodded, licking his mouth before reaching over to set his hand on Jongin's knee, “Better to be safe.”

Jongin smiled, blindly reaching out to run his hand over the back of Baekhyun's head. “That’s right babe. Was this the place, up ahead?”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun leaned towards the windshield, “Taehyung said when he and Sunmi came the other day they cleared out the walkers, probably why it’s so messy.” He laughed.

Jongin snorted and parked the car, “Those two, idiots, I swear. Who comes to a store and only gets candy? Fuck, Junmyeon Hyung was so pissed.”

Baekhyun giggled, pulling his knife out of its sheath, “You guys if I asked you!”

“Ah, what am I gonna do with you?” Jongin teased, latching onto Baekhyun's back playfully, “Why are you so confident, hm? Your boyfriends made you this way?”

“My soulmates.” Baekhyun corrected with a laugh, “You just said that as an excuse to say we’re boyfriends, right?”

Jongin only chuckled and walked ahead, moving to the store door and holding it open, “After you, baby.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes playfully as he walked into the store, turning to grab a basket, “You got a new friend, Hyung, coming your way.” He teased, pointing his knife at a walker crawling towards the store door.

Jongin snorted, shutting the store door hard on the walkers temple. “So playful today. Go on, sweetheart, we need to go before it gets dark.”

Baekhyun only sent him a beaming smile before looking around for the pharmacy. He hopped the counter, sliding across, before beginning to scan over medicine bottles.

“Jonginnie!” He called, “What's the name of the medicines again?”

Baekhyun heard Jongin's footsteps, the clanking of car keys in his pocket and glanced at the counter to see Jongin holding a basket of what looked like random items.

“Penicillin, amoxicillin, anything baby, just grab anything.”

The younger nodded and began swiping the bottles off the shelves and straight into his basket, “What’d you find?”

“Just some random things.” Jongin murmured, Baekhyun could hear him dig through the basket, “Some comics I think Taeyong might like, some… feminine things for Sunmi, I saw her write it on the list for the next run.”

“I was going to say, ‘oh how nice of you’ until I noticed the gummies sticking out.” Baekhyun called out with a sly smile as he climbed the counter again.

“What?” Jongin faked offense, “I got them for my soulmate, you wouldn’t know him.”

Baekhyun chewed his lip to keep from laughing as he set his basket beside Jongin's and pulled his shirt close, “Hm, I don’t? You don’t think your soulmate would be upset if you were so close to me?”

Jongin hummed, cupping Baekhyun's cheek, “What a coincidence, you look just like him.”

The younger scrunched his nose up and laughed, “Yeah? That’s so weird.”

“Very.” Jongin whispered with a charming smile, leaning down to press a kiss to Baekhyun's nose and a longer one to his mouth.

Baekhyun hummed under his breath, standing on his toes to press an extra kiss to Jongin's cheek before pulling away, turning to grab his basket. “Let’s get back before dark.”

Jongin patted his hip and walked him out of the car, putting a disgusted face on as he stepped on the smushed body of the walker in the door.

“Do you think Taeyong will like the comics?” Baekhyun asked as they walked to the car.

“And where is it y'all good people are calling home?”

Baekhyun jumped three feet in the air as he spun towards the voice.

“Aye, no boy, you put your hand on that gun, he’s dead.” The man ordered, gun pointed at Baekhyun but he looked at Jongin, watching him put his gun up.

“Okay!” Jongin cried, putting his hands up, “What do you want? We have food here, take it.” He set his basket on the ground and pushed it with his foot, “We don’t want any trouble, man.”

“Where are you from? Where’s your camp?” The man asked again.

“Do you need a place to stay?” Jongin tried, “We'll tell our leader you're here and he'll come out to meet you.”

The man tsked and grabbed Baekhyun around the neck, Baekhyun squirmed and wrapped his arms around the man’s forearm, “Please! Please!”

“Shut up, boy.” The man growled, “I’m asking him a question, you just be silent unless you want a bullet through that pretty little head.”

Baekhyun's eyes were as wide as they could get as he looked at Jongin in fear.

“Listen, listen!” His soulmate began, “Listen, we can’t tell you that, we don’t want any trouble, just let him go and we’ll forget this ever happened.”

“Son, get in the car.” The man growled, “You're driving, get in.”

Jongin frowned, “No, let him go.”

“No! Hey, hey, hold up, buddy, hold up.” The man ordered when Jongin took a move closer, “Get in the car, now.”

“Do it!” Baekhyun muttered, “Hyung, do it.” He felt his stomach twist when Jongin looked near tears and turned to run to the driver's seat.

“There we go, it ain’t so hard- get moving sweet cheeks.” The man muttered against Baekhyun's hair, practically picking him up and dragging him towards the backseat, “That's it, boy, we’re going for a drive.”

Jongin curled his lip as he looked in the rearview mirror and saw the man pointing the gun at Baekhyun relentlessly. “We're not going back to our camp.”

“No, we're going somewhere else. You mentioned leaders, how about you meet mine?”

~~~~~~

Chanyeol was raging, pissed to have found out Baekhyun and Jongin went off. As soon as he saw them drive out from the watchtower- he was livid nobody told him what was going on.

“Hyung.” Taeyong muttered, setting his sniper down, “Hyung, do you think they’ll be back soon?”

“Yes, Taeyong, I’ve told you every minute the past hour.”

Chanyeol heard Taeyong sigh and felt slightly bad for snapping at him, but he was worried too.

“Hyung…”

And there went his guilt. “Yes, Tae?”

“Hyung… someone is on the fence…”

Chanyeol spun around with an immediate scowl, “Go get Yifan Hyung, now.” He demanded, staring at the fence, “Now, Taeyong.”

Taeyong scurried, opening the ladder hatch and shimmying down, Chanyeol immediately after.

The elder went running towards the gates, looking confused at the two red baskets the man held, and why the walkers weren’t attacking him.

“You bit?” Chanyeol yelled, rolling one of the fences open.

The man only shook his head, “No, it’s the dead’s blood.”

Chanyeol turned his head and saw Yifan booking it through the courtyard, a few others right behind. “He bit?”

“No!” Chanyeol denied, hand on his gun.

Yifan nodded before changing his expression into a scowl, “Let him in, guns on him.”

The man had some sort of metal stick attached to his back, the men immediately eyeing the weapon as the unfamiliar man stepped into their property.

“Luhan, check him.” Yifan ordered.

Luhan walked up, snatching the metal rod away and cringing at the smell.

“He looks familiar.” Taehyung commented, “Do I know you?”

“You wanna tell us your name?” Junmyeon interrupted, “And why do you have these baskets?”

“Xing, take these to Kyungsoo.” Yifan asked gently of the medic, picking the baskets up from the dirt.

The man only stayed staring at all the guns on him, an expressionless look on his face.

“We can give you a little food and water, and then send you on your way. But you're gonna have to tell us how you found us and why you were carrying medicine.” Junmyeon added when he received no response.

The man stared him down, “Names Zitao. The supplies were dropped by two Asian boys.”

“What happened? Were they attacked?” Chanyeol snarled angrily, finger hovering over his trigger in rage.

“They were taken.”

Yifan stiffened, “Taken? By who?”

“By sick people. “

“Hey, these are our people, we’re gonna need more than that.” Junmyeon added with an edge.

“There's a town. Woodbury.” Zitao muttered.

“I fucking knew it.” Taehyung growled.

“They got muscle?” Yifan asked, motioning for the man to follow them towards the cell blocks.

“Paramilitary wannabes. They have armed sentries on every wall.” Luhan answered, “How long did you stay for?”

“A month, until I saw through the facade.” Zitao explained, looking particularly unphased as Yifan pressed his gun into his spine to push him towards the cells.

“You know a way in?” Chanyeol asked, turning to grab ammo from the shelf of supplies. “That’s my soulmate out there and our brother, our family.”

Zitaos eyes flickered with sympathy even as Junmyeon locked him in a cell. “I’ll help you then. The place is secure from walkers, but we could slip our way through.”

“How'd you know how to get here?” Sunmi demanded from her seat at a bench across from the cell.

“The Governor mentioned a prison the other day, said which direction it was in, that it was a straight shot.”

“How long do we have?” Yifan asked, grabbing what ammo he could fit in his pockets, “Less people the better, me, Junmyeon, Sehun, Chanyeol, and Zitao only.”

“Fuck, what do we tell Kyungsoo?” Taehyung realized under his breath.

“Well.” Zitao clicked his tongue and looked through the bars at them frantically pulling stuff together, “One of them… the puppy looking one, he was really pretty.”

“Fuck, let’s go. Let him out, now.” Chanyeol ordered, throwing his keys to Taeyong.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry, but can y’all see where I’m going...
> 
> If you’ve seen TWD probably!


	19. Go To Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People aren’t good anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole story is triggering.... but this chapter is especially!

“Now, I wanna know where they're hiding, where your camp is, and I wanna know now. I wanna know now!

Where the hell are they? Tell me!”

Baekhyun shuttered at the noises coming from the wall beside his room, staring at the wooden table in front of him.

“Let him go!” Jongin's voice was becoming more hoarse with every word, more slurred and broken, just like Baekhyun's chest felt like.

He had no idea how long it had been.

All he could recall was staring at a group of armed people once the car was parked, some sort of wall, and then he had a bag thrown over his head and heard Jongin yelling threats as they were separated.

It could have been hours he had been listening to Jongin get the absolute shit beat out of him, and he was waiting his turn.

“Hmm. So tell me, where y'all been at?”

“It's just a matter of time before they come looking.” Jongin sounded absolutely drained and Baekhyun wanted to tell him just to give in.

But they couldn’t. Their family was there, their friends, his brother, two of his soulmates.

It wasn’t safe, and they’d never invite strangers in, especially people that would do this to someone.

“Ain't nobody coming!” Another sound of Jongin's pained groan, and it didn’t sound any better than the last dozen or more he had heard.

“My leaders will come!”

A deep, mocking laugh and Baekhyun heard a metal noise, like that of a gun banging against something.

“Leaders, huh? I’ll give you one more chance kid, where are you hiding?

You two look in good shape, it must be nice.”

“Go to hell!” Jongin's voice cracked and Baekhyun couldn't stop his tears as they dropped onto the wooden table in front of him.

He wondered if this was part of their tactic, to have him sit here and listen, unstrapped down.

Not that it really mattered when there was nothing in this room but a table and two plastic chairs- hardly weaponizable.

Or, maybe he wasn’t strapped down because he was weak, he wasn’t threatening or screaming like Jongin did, because he honestly didn’t feel the need- he knew they were fucked the minute they had gotten spotted.

“Alrighty then, sunshine! Guess what? My leader really wants to know where you came from, he’ll go see your little boyfriend now!”

And Jongin screamed louder than he had all day.

~~~~~~~~

Baekhyun had a lot of time for his tears to stop, but he couldn’t. Not when Jongin was screaming for them to come back- probably trying to have them beat the shit out of him so Baekhyun didn’t have to deal with it.

But they were done with him, and Jongin sounded done too.

He wondered what his soulmate was tied down with, if he was, because he swore he could hear walking around after Jongin had quieted down, and coughing.

It sounded wet, Baekhyun knew it was blood.

A knock on the door to the right and Baekhyun twisted his face in disgust.

The man was good looking, not in an admirable way, but in a sort of… fake way, everything about this man just seemed fake.

“Hello, I’m the leader here, but you can call me… The Governor.” Even his voice sounded fake, he looked like he was trying to win him over- but he would never.

Baekhyun watched silently as the man pulled out the chair across from him, “We'll take you back to your people, explain this was all just a misunderstanding. You tell us where they are and we'll drive you there.”

“I want to talk to Jongin.” Was all Baekhyun whispered.

“I can’t allow that.” The Governor tsked, “Your people are dangerous. You just tell us where they are and we'll bring them here.”

Baekhyun only stared at him, narrowing his wet eyes.

“You'll be safe, I promise.” The Governor added.

“Because Jongin sounded really safe.” Baekhyun spat.

“No? Fine.” The man across from Baekhyun dropped his ‘reassuring’ expression and full-on scowled. “Let's try something else.”

“Stand up, please.”

Baekhyun frowned in confusion, ignoring the request.

“Stand up!” The man exclaimed loudly, making Baekhyun jump.

Eyes shaking, Baekhyun stood up, hands shaking at his sides.

The Governor leaned forward onto his elbows. “Take off your shirt.”

Baekhyun stiffened, heart stopping, “No.”

“Take off your shirt or I'll bring Jongin's hand in here.” The man threatened nonchalantly.

Baekhyun gulped, mind racing.

There was no way out, if Jongin hadn’t found it by now, there was no way he had one.

His fingers shook as he pulled off his shirt, laying it on the table, eyes already watering as he realized he had no way out, he was trapped.

He never thought he’d ever feel like this again, but life hated him. And he’d do anything for Jongin. For his family, even this.

“Go on.” The man across urged, pointing his gun at Baekhyun's pants before standing up.

Baekhyun's tears fell, kissing the corners of his lips as he pulled his jeans off, crossing his arms over his chest.

The Governor hummed a noise that made goosebumps appear on Baekhyun's skin before he walked towards Baekhyun's side of the table, gun in one hand as he pressed his chest to Baekhyun's back.

“Pretty, ain’t ya?”

Baekhyun didn’t make a noise, only breathing sharply as the man pressed his chin to Baekhyun's bare shoulder, running his hand along his bare waist.

Then, The Governor grabbed a handful of hair in the back of his head and slammed Baekhyun cheek first into the table, bending him how he wanted. “So you're gonna talk?”

Baekhyun sniffed, letting his tears pool onto the table as he felt the man press up against him from behind.

He knew how this worked, knew very well how it worked. He wished he didn’t.

“You can do whatever you're gonna do. And go to hell.” Baekhyun whispered.

The Governor laughed, running his gun along Baekhyun's spine. “Now you have spirit.”

Baekhyun went limp as he felt the man’s hands spread his legs apart. “Doing this… it’s-it's not going to get you anywhere.”

“Yes, dear, it will. Now be loud.” Was demanded on his neck.

Baekhyun only sighed and looked at his own hand that laid flat beside his face, his knuckles clutching uselessly at the flat surface.

“You won’t hear anything out of me.”

~~~~~~~

Baekhyun glared, standing up straight as he watched The Governor button up his shirt.

“Put your boxers on, we’re gonna go visit your boyfriend.”

“No.” Baekhyun growled, pulling his boxers up before stepping back, “No, I won't see him.”

“Too bad you don’t have a goddamn choice, cupcake.” A gun pointed at Baekhyun. “Now be a good bitch and come here, we had fun, right?”

And Baekhyun sobbed.

He didn’t want to see Jongin like this, didn’t want to see him at all until he was clean until he had scrubbed his skin off and screamed.

The door opened and Baekhyun choked on his tears as two more guards walked in, one of them the man that brought him in.

“Oh shit, oh shit cutie. He a good time, boss?” The one that captured them leered.

“Get over here, pretty boy, or I’ll let my friend here try you out too.” The Governor growled.

“Oh please do, wow, where you been at, boy?”

Baekhyun ignored them and willingly walked over to The Governor, letting the man wrap his arm around his shoulder roughly, pulling him out of the room. “Rude of you, you don’t want my boys to have a turn?”

“I’d rather die.” Baekhyun said under his breath.

“Careful, boy, that might be what happens… or, maybe we’ll keep you.” Was responded, The Governor using his other hand to motion for one of the two armed guards to open the door he walked Baekhyun to.

“Uh-uh. Hey! Drop it.” Baekhyun heard one of the guards yell.

Jongin was standing directly in front of him, both of the guards pointing rifles at him as he held some sort of chunk of wood, blood pouring down around his chin to his bare chest and Baekhyun could just see how weak he looked from blood loss, his cheek busted and hair matted with blood.

“What’d you do!” Jongin croaked, his arms that held the weapon lowering before he eyed Baekhyun and raised it higher, “What’d you do!”

Baekhyun must have been worse than he figured he did. Maybe he looked just as bad as he felt.

“We're through with games.” Baekhyun felt The Governor point a gun at his temple. Before gawking as it was turned on Jongin.

“Now one of you is gonna give up your camp.”

“Go fuck yourself.” Jongin spat at the ground, it was all red with blood.

The Governor laughed and grabbed Baekhyun by the back of the neck, pushing him down to his knees on the floor. “I’ll fuck your bitch, again, right in front of-“

“I’ll kill you!” Jongin cried, Baekhyun couldn't look up from the dirt floor in shame, but he could hear the staggering on the floors. “I’ll kill you!”

Baekhyun felt hands on the bottom of his spine as he was pushed onto his hands to the ground. “I’ll do it, kid.” The Governor threatened, wrapping a hand around Baekhyun's throat and pulling him up, “Tell him, cupcake, look at him- look at him!”

Baekhyun startled, lips trembling as he was forced to look at Jongin. He knew it was over the moment Jongin read the truth in his eyes.

“The prison- give him to me.” Jongin cried, blood dripping down his bare chest from his chin, “Please don’t, please.”

“The one near Nunez? That place is overrun.” Their captor said in disbelief.

“We took it.” Jongin muttered, only staring at Baekhyun.

“How many are you?” The Governor inquired.

“Thirteen.”

A guard scoffed. “Thirteen people cleared that whole prison of biters?”

It was no longer safe. Not for them, not for their family. Baekhyun whimpered, sucking a breath in with a sob.

“Huh? Hey, hey. Shh, shh, shh.” He only cried harder as The Governor faked sympathy, pressing his lips to the side of his face as if he truly wanted to comfort the younger.

Baekhyun was only more scared and disgusted.

“Don’t touch him.” Jongin wailed, “Please stop, please I told you- I told you.”

“It’s alright. It's alright. Shh.”

Baekhyun cried and turned his head away from The Governors face.

“Alright then.” The leader growled, shoving Baekhyun down as if garbage, “Don’t get too cozy, we’ll be back.”

Jongin waited until he watched the three men walk out before throwing himself to the ground, “Baekhyun, Baekhyun.”

And Baekhyun screamed out in pain and threw himself at his soulmate, “J-Jongin! Jongin-“

“Shhhh.” Jongin cooed, cupping the back of his soulmates hair and pulling his almost naked form into his lap. “Shh, I kno-ow I know, I’m so so-rry, I’m sorry.” He pressed his mouth to Baekhyun's cheek, his own tears and blood smearing over Baekhyun's skin. “It’s over now, it’s okay. I’ll kill him, I’m so soo-rry, I’m sorry.”

Baekhyun sat back and cupped Jongin's cheek, both of them sobbing painfully and ugly, noses running. “I lo-ve you, I love you.”

Jongin only shushed him and pressed his mouth to Baekhyun's forehead, “I love you.” He whispered, looking at his soulmate in disbelief, he could never forget this, ever.

It wasn’t possible when Baekhyun looked so… scared, so apologetic like it was his fault, so worried. “He’s going to die, Baekhyun. You just wait- once-once they come get us… he’s dead- they can all fucking die. I’ll kill- I’ll kill them all myself.”

“I want to go home.” Baekhyun cried.

~~~~~~~~

Chanyeol glared at Zitaos back as he led them along. “It’s almost dark, how much further.”

“Chill, it’s just a little more, a half mile or so.”

Unable to control his anger, Chanyeol grabbed the man by the back of his shirt, pulling him to the ground and shoving a gun into his face. “Tell me to chill and I’ll shoot you in the fucking head!”

“Chanyeol!”

“Hey! Hey!”

“Hyung, stop!”

Chanyeol growled in anger as Yifan and Sehun ripped him off of Zitao, “That’s my fucking family out there! We’ve been walking two miles, we should’ve taken the fucking car out this far it would’ve been faster!”

“They’re our family too!” Sehun yelled, “Hyung, snap out of it, be rational!”

“Chanyeol, listen.” Junmyeon offered him a hand, “Bringing the car this far would alert them, we want to get there as soon as possible too, okay?”

“You don’t understand.” Chanyeol argued, “That’s my-“

“They’re our family.” Yifan said softly, grabbing a Chanyeol by the back of his head and pressing their foreheads together, “Breathe, Chanyeol, breathe. We love them too, both Baekhyun and Jongin, okay? They’re family, let’s get them back.”

Chanyeol panted out angry breaths and nodded, hitching his gun strap onto his arm, “Let’s get them back.”

“Okay?” Yifan pressed his palm to Chanyeol's jaw before stepping back, “Okay, okay let’s go, Zitao let’s go.”

~~~~~~~

When Kyungsoo woke up he wasn’t expecting Taeyong to be sitting against the metal door across from him.

Kyungsoo coughed at the unexpected dryness in his throat and went to sit up but noticed an IV sticking out of his arm.

“Don’t touch it.” Taeyong said quietly, knees pulled to his chest and gun in his hand. “Yixing Hyung said it has antibiotics in it.”

The man frowned at Taeyong and sat up, grabbing a water bottle Taeyong rolled across the floor. “It’s not that bad.”

“Apparently it is.”

Kyungsoo laughed, “Why are you watching me sleep?”

“I’m protecting you.” Taeyong explained making Kyungsoo smile fondly.

“Where’s Baekhyun?” Kyungsoo responded, sitting himself up against the wall.

Taeyong went all kinds of pale and Kyungsoo was alerted immediately, “What is it?”

“I-.... I don’t know if I should tell you.” The child muttered, looking around the room like he did when he was scolded.

“We don’t keep secrets, Taeyong. Me, you, Baekhyun, Jongin… none of us, we don’t keep secrets and we don’t lie.”

“That is a lie.” Taeyong called out, “You guys have a lot of secrets, you think I don’t realize when you all go silent and change subjects when I walk in? All of you do it, even the other Hyungs. Nobody takes me seriously.”

“If we didn’t take you seriously why are you holding a gun right now?” Kyungsoo said immediately, “If we didn’t think you were a man, then why would we let you have one?”

“Then why do you keep secrets?” Taeyong said softly, almost apologetically.

Kyungsoo sighed and wiped sweat from his brow, “So people's feelings don’t get hurt, look, we can talk about this later, where is Baekhyun? Go get me Yifan Hyung please.”

“Yifan Hyung is gone too.” The youngest stated, “They went to get Baek Hyung and Nini Hyung back.”

“Back? Where’d they go, Tae?”

Taeyong turned white and climbed to his feet, “Um… I’ll get Min Hyung…”

And Kyungsoo felt his heart race before he even knew what was going on.

~~~~~~~

Jongin rocked Baekhyun slowly, his back against the hard brick, feeling his face swelling up the longer they sat in this dimly lit room. “Look at me, baby.” He requested almost silently, running his dirtied thumb over Baekhyun's cheek.

“Shhh, it’s just me.” Jongin whispered, watching Baekhyun pull his trembling lip between his teeth. “Hi, baby. Hello, love.”

“Hyung…”

“Shhh, no, we’re okay… we’re okay right now, you’re supposed to say ‘hi’ with those pret- pretty brown eyes and- and look adorable and… make me feel better, I can’t-“

“Hyung, hi.” Baekhyun said gently, wiping his thumb under Jongin's eye, “Hi, I love you.”

Jongin sighed and rested his forehead onto Baekhyun's, “All this time, running from walkers-- you forget what people do, have always done. Look at what they did to you.”

“Doesn't matter.” Baekhyun whispered, “You're more hurt than I am.”

“It does matter.” The elder disagreed, pressing his nose into Baekhyun's, “It fucking matters. People can’t have- don’t have any common-fucking morals, he just- you- I can’t. I cannot Baekhyun, fuck I-I love you so much, an-and I couldn’t… I should have done better.”

“He would’ve done it anyways.” Baekhyun sighed, “It’s okay, it’s fine.”

“It’s not fine.” Jongin said in anger, sitting Baekhyun between his legs and wrapping his arms around his shoulders, tucking his soulmate under his chin, “None of this is fine, don’t try and say it is.”

“I’ll be okay though.” Baekhyun's words muffled against Jongin's bloodied throat, “We’ll be okay and… and when we get back we can… we’ll go steal some of Taehyung's stale m&ms and… and we’re going to act like nothing happened.”

“I like your train of thought.” Jongin said softly, “But we both know that’s not possible, to pretend. We’re both bad liars, even harder to pretend something like this didn’t happen.”

Baekhyun gulped and wiped his nose free of tears and snot. “I feel dirty, Hyung.”

The elder immediately held his sides tighter, lightly skimming a bruise forming on his soulmates hip above his boxers, “I still love you, we sti-still love you.”

“I did it to-to protect you.” Baekhyun hiccuped, “He sai-said that… he was going to cut your hand off… said he was going to do so many things to you, Nini.”

Jongin's voice cracked before he could even get any words out, “I know, shhh, I-I know, doll. You don’t need to feel bad at all… oh my god, I didn’t even ask.. fuck, are you hurting? Are you in pain?”

“I’m just dirty.” Baekhyun whispered. “My… my chest hurts.”

“Me too.” Jongin released a dry sob, pressing his bloody mouth to Baekhyun's softly, “Me too, just rest here. Here, listen, listen baby.” He urged, pulling Baekhyun's head to his chest, “Calm down, baby, I’m here with you. I feel better even just being with you.”

Baekhyun nodded in agreement, his hands wrapping around Jongin's wrist only to keep it in place.

“And… just so you know.” Jongin chewed his lip, “I don’t think any different of you- I never could. As long as you are safe, and- you’re right here with me… I can breathe easier.”

“Me too.”

And Jongin could only press a wet kiss to Baekhyun's temple.


	20. Run Like Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They said their leaders would come.

It wasn’t nice, but it was peaceful to rest with Jongin, until it had to come to an end.

They had both been waiting for it, but they were exhausted and all the fight had basically withered away when they noticed how bad the other looked.

Caring about people was painful, but loving them… it could tear you apart.

Your strength becomes your weakness, your life becomes your death, but the warmth you get for loving and being loved in return. Well, Baekhyun couldn't find it in him to regret anything, even their deaths that were coming.

“Please.” Baekhyun whimpered as he was moved onto his knees beside Jongin. “Please, a little longer.”

“No use in begging, boy.” The Governor cooed from the doorway, “Wish I would’ve had a little more time with you though. Martinez, get the bags.”

Jongin clenched his jaw and looked to the side at Baekhyun, “Just look at me.” He muttered, looking at the shaking of his soulmates features, “Just keep looking at me.”

“I… I love you.” Baekhyun whispered before a cloth bag was getting placed over his head and Jongin felt like puking as he saw Baekhyun get pulled blindly to his feet.

“Alrighty, time to go outside-“

The sound of gunshots sent shock through Baekhyun's system and he immediately dropped to the ground.

He couldn’t see, but he tasted something foul and coughed on something he assumed to be smoke.

“Inside, quick!” Baekhyun heard Sehun and sat up blindly.

He felt hands touch his shoulder and jumped back, scrambling.

“It’s me! It’s me, take it off!” Jongin cried, “Come on, baby.”

Baekhyun was confused and disoriented, unable to know what was being said until the bag was pulled off his head and he flinched back as he met Junmyeons eyes.

“Ain't no way out back here.” Yifan commented.

“How did you find us?” Jongin muttered, propped up against the wall.

Baekhyun looked around, eyeing an unfamiliar man before meeting Chanyeol’s eyes. “H-Hyung- Hyung!” He screamed, reaching out for him.

“Fuck.” Chanyeol cursed and ran over to him, cupping his cheek, “Are you okay? I’m sorry, I’m sorry we don’t have time. I’ll check you when it’s safe.” He promised before sitting back and looking at him confused, eyeing his nearly naked state.

“How bad are you hurt?” Junmyeon questioned, handing out a pistol to Jongin and pulling him up.

“I'll be alright.”

“And… Baekhyun Hyung?” Sehun muttered.

“It was too late.” Chanyeol realized, tears immediately pouring from his eyes as he pulled his own shirt off, “Bae-Baekhyun, fuck… we could’ve came sooner.”

Baekhyun could only cry with no response as Chanyeol placed the big shirt on him and picked him up, unable to realize what was happening.

“What’s he talking about?” Yifan asked immediately, eyeing Baekhyun with concern as his breath came out in squeaks with his crying. “Jongin, what’s he talking about?”

“No time, we got to go.” Zitao interrupted, smashing the butt of his gun into a thick glass window multiple times. “We need to go, they’ll be back soon- with more people than us.”

“He’s right, we’ll talk later.” Junmyeon agreed, “Let’s go, let’s get going. Baek, can you walk?”

“Ye-“

“No, I’ll carry him.” Chanyeol said immediately, “Don’t-don't convince me otherwise, I can still run.”

The group stared at him silently before Jongin walked over to the broken window, “Pass him over, we’ll take turns.”

Jongin looked like he was going to pass out any second, but nobody had it in them to argue when he cried a single tear just looking at Baekhyun.

The group began running, and Baekhyun was wrapped tightly around Chanyeol, the elder man only placing one hand on Baekhyun's spine and the other holding a pistol as they ran.

Baekhyun was extremely confused, it was some sort of town, some sort of society. It must be the one Luhan and Taehyung had come from.

“This way!” Zitao yelled back at the group, “If we make it to the forest we can lose them in the trees.”

Maybe, if it were any other place, Baekhyun would feel bad about watching his family shoot people- but they were coming at them with guns, trying to herd them like sheep, and his family were not weak.

“Freeze! There’s more of us than you!” A voice yelled from the treeline as soon as Zitao had pulled back a portion of fence and all of them got through it.

They huddled close, panting.

“On three, drop or take cover.” Junmyeon coughed into his arm.

“One more warning, drop the weapons!”

“They're soldiers, Hyung.” Sehun whispered.

“So are we.” Yifan said quickly. “Ready…. three-“

Chanyeol practically dropped Baekhyun, it was painful when he landed on the grass, but he didn’t really care when he knew he was going to be sore anyways.

“Give me a gun!” Baekhyun yelled, crawling blindly towards Junmyeon who was crouched behind a tree.

The second leader sent him a worried look and slid a gun across the grass.

Baekhyun gulped at the gunshots surrounding him and finished crawling beside a car, leaning against it.

He had killed one person. One. And it was deserving.

He didn’t think he needed to count his kills anymore, because he was going to have too many.

Baekhyun peeked out from behind the car and shot up at the top of a wall built of tires where the people were firing from, headshot.

He didn’t count how many people he saw falling, dead.

“Baekhyun, cover!” Junmyeon growled, pulling the long shirt edge, making Baekhyun fall to the grass just as a bullet flew past where he was peeking.

“Let me do it!” Baekhyun yelled, “Let me- let me!”

Junmyeon looked at him like he was crazed and grabbed his cheek. “Calm down, you’re going to get yourself killed.”

Baekhyun only curled his mouth in anger, not at Junmyeon. “Kill them, Hyung.”

“Okay.” Junmyeon muttered, “Okay, Baek. You’re safe, we’ll kill them.” He said, much too gentle to be hidden on a battlefield, but this was his family, and he was obviously distressed.

Baekhyun could only nod and lean his back against the tire, pulling his knees to his chest and closing his eyes.

“I saw Chaeyoung when we were running past!” Baekhyun heard Sehun say across the field, “I swear!”

He looked at him confused, before he was being picked up again.

“We gotta run!” Yifan yelled in his ear, “I’ll give you back in a minute, hold on, Baekhyun.” He added, softer.

“Let’s go! Let’s go!” Junmyeon yelled, “Someone get Jongin!”

“I’m fine!” Jongin yelled, pulling his arm out of Sehuns as they ran into the woods, “Stop, I’m fine!”

Baekhyun only held onto Yifan tight as the leader ran with him.

Yifan was a good man. A good leader. Baekhyun would follow him as long as he could, as long as their family stood together.

They went far. Way further than expected, they kept going even when they couldn’t hear anything but their own breaths and footsteps.

“Okay, we- we can walk from here.” Junmyeon panted, leaning over to cough out against his calves.

“It’s too dark.” Sehun whispered, “It’s too dark now, we won’t be back until morning.”

Baekhyun gulped and tugged Yifan's shirt, wanting down.

“We told him where the prison was.” Jongin muttered, his swollen cheek disrupting part of his vision as he sat down against a tree with a bloody cough. “We couldn't hold out.”

“Don't.” Yifan said softly, placing Baekhyun down carefully, “No need to apologize.”

“They’re gonna be looking for us.” Jongin added, accepting the zip up from Zitao, looking at him confused, as if just realizing he didn’t know him.

“Can you walk? We got a car a few miles out.” Junmyeon worried.

Jongin scoffed, “I'm good. All right. Stop asking.”

“Okay, we need to keep going.” Chanyeol interrupted, “If Jongin says he’ll make it, he will. Come here, Baek, you’re not wearing shoes.”

Baekhyun ignored him, walking along the grass with the gun in his palm.

His soulmates only looked at his long shirt covered back in pain, his thin legs stepping over twigs carefully.

“We need to go back.” Jongin said quietly, wiping the blood onto his sleeve as the group continued walking behind Baekhyun. “Hyung, we need to go back.” He said firmly, turning to look at Junmyeon.

“Why the hell would we do that?” Yifan frowned, “You can barely stand, Baekhyun can barely walk.”

“The Governor is still alive.” Zitao answered for Jongin, “He’s still alive, and now there’s a fight bound to happen.”

“These two were the priority.” Junmyeon argued, “They’re in no condition.”

Jongin spluttered and stopped walking, prompting the group to stop. “Do you know what he did to him!” He screamed, stepping closer and grabbing Junmyeon by the shirt, “Do you know!”

“Leave it alone!” Chanyeol grabbed the other by the arm, pulling him off, “Let’s go!”

“This is the hand we’ve been dealt!” Yifan said firmly, “We will go home and think about it, you need to heal!”

“Hyung!” Jongin screeched, looking ferocious as he struggled out of Chanyeol's hold. “Hyung- he touched him- he touched him!”

“Jongin!” Chanyeol hissed, “Shut up!”

“He raped him!” Jongin continued crying, grabbing onto Yifan's shirt as if the leader wasn’t listening, he definitely was. “H-Hyung. Hyung..”

Yifan frowned and pulled Jongin to his chest, taking the small, weak hits as if Jongin wanted him to let go.

“Chanyeol.”

Baekhyun's soft whisper snapped everyone over to look at him.

He had blood caked under his nails and his forearm was bleeding, long, red marks created by his own doing. His eyes lost, tears falling down his face but he didn’t seem to notice at all.

“I think I want you to carry me now.”

“Okay.” Chanyeol sniffed and everyone watched him run up to Baekhyun, “Okay. Don’t do this okay? Don’t.. don't hurt yourself.”

Baekhyun pursed his lips in confusion as Chanyeol knelt down and grabbed his arm, pressing a kiss to the soft skin of his inner wrist. “I’m not hurting.”

“We don’t lie.” Chanyeol cried, pulling Baekhyun's hips closer and resting his cheek onto his soulmates stomach. “We- we don’t lie to each other.”

“Okay.” Baekhyun ran fingers over Chanyeol's head, “I want to get back and see everyone.”

“Let’s go then.” Yifan wiped his eyes on his sleeve and pretending he hadn’t been crying for his family member. “Let’s go, you heard him.”

~~~~~~~

Baekhyun was dead asleep against Chanyeol's shoulder by the time they got to the SUV, and Jongin was rightfully staggering, having walked at least a mile or two before finally accepting Sehun's arm for balance.

Junmyeon popped the trunk and threw his gun into the back, stepping back to allow everyone else time to throw theirs in.

They all piled in the car, Baekhyun resting deadly on Chanyeol's lap and Jongin placed in the middle, already drifting off on Sehun's arm as Junmyeon started up the vehicle and began driving.

“So, what’s in this for you?” Yifan asked quietly, looking back from the passenger seat into the very last row of seats where Zitao sat.

Zitao looked up from picking at his dirty nails, “What do you mean?”

“Why would you help us? There’s no reason you’d come all the way to our prison, come save people you don’t know, but here you are. You want something, so what is it?”

“All I want is The Governor dead.” The man replied vaguely.

“And he will be.” Chanyeol growled over the seat, running his thumb over the shell of Baekhyun's ear, “He’s dead- there’s no other option.”

“So what’s your reason then?” Junmyeon called, glancing in the rearview mirror. “This is our family, innocent people taken for no good reason other than territory, like animals.”

Zitao frowned and scratched under his jaw. “He… he does this thing… It's like a walker fight. He basically will have everyone watch people fight walkers, my sister... she went missing when this thing started… she was the walker.”

“That’s disgusting.” Sehun spat, “That’s… what kind of… society is that.”

“Didn’t you say that you saw Chaeyoung?” Junmyeon realized, “You think that means she saw you too?”

“Guess we’ll wait and see.” Sehun shrugged, “We’re in for… something now.”

“You staying or going?” Yifan called to Zitao, “If you stay, I have three questions.”

Zitao shrugged and picked at his nails, “Big groups are a lot of work.”

“It’s better than being alone.” Chanyeol argued quietly.

“What are the questions?”

“How many walkers have you killed?” Yifan mumbled.

Zitao laughed and shook his head, “Too many.”

“How many people have you killed?”

“Too many.” Zitao repeated.

Yifan held back his smile, “Why?”

Zitao leaned back against the seat with a sigh, “Reasons like today, trying to be a good person despite the world being absolute shit.”

Junmyeon snorted, “You’ll fit in just fine.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story really digs into the characters relationships... I think more than the other story, what do you think?


	21. I’m Too Good

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying to help doesn’t always make things better.

Baekhyun woke up laying sideways on their bed facing the blank white wall, dressed the same as he last remembered in the woods.

He felt someone tugging the edge of his shirt and heard Kyungsoo and Chanyeol whispering over his head.

“No, Kyungsoo. You can barely use crutches.”

“I don’t give a fuck. We’re just, we’re just gonna sit on our asses and not do-do anything about this?” Kyungsoo hissed.

“Move, I need to clean up Baek, and Hyungs went to find the armory this morning.” Chanyeol said softly.

Baekhyun jumped as he was pulled onto his back. Chanyeol blinking down at him in surprise. “Oh, good morning, love.”

“Don’t- don't.” Baekhyun muttered, pulling his shirt down over himself when he felt Chanyeol try to change his clothes.

Chanyeol's eyes flickered with pain as he sat back, “Okay, okay you can do it yourself. Hyung just wanted to take care of you.”

Baekhyun nodded and scooted back, pulling the shirt over his knees, “Just… don’t-uh… I don’t want you to see me right now.”

“We don’t care.” Baekhyun looked up at Kyungsoo who had crutches, slowly making his way over. “It’s not your fault, Jongin told us, and it-we’re livid, of course, but it’s not your fault.”

“Where’s Jongin?”

“He got some painkillers and went to see Taeyong. Tae wanted to come see you, but… we figured it wasn’t good right now.” Chanyeol explained.

Baekhyun sucked his trembling lip into his mouth and nodded, pressing his head to the cold cement.

“Listen, okay?” Kyungsoo scooted onto the mattress, dropping his crutches to the side and reaching out to rub his thumb over Baekhyun's ankle. “We love you, we don’t blame you for anything. You’re going to be fine, and we won’t let him get away-“

“Stop treating me like a child.” Baekhyun interrupted, crying even though he curled his mouth in anger. “This isn’t new, this is fine. I’ll go clean up and we’ll act like this never happened. I’m not- not scarred, I’m not fucking scared, I’m angry Jongin is hurt. But I am okay, I am fine.”

“If you want to be angry then you can.” Chanyeol sighed and knelt beside the mattress, “But I’m going to tell you the truth Baekhyun. And the truth is that you are scared, and that you were raped- look at me, ba-“

“Don’t fucking say that!” Baekhyun screamed, leaning over and shoving at Chanyeol's chest, he didn’t even flinch. “Don’t you- you don’t tell me that!”

“You were!” Kyungsoo exclaimed, watching Chanyeol grab Baekhyun under his arms and pulling him into his chest despite the fact the younger was slapping at him, sobbing and huffing in anger. “You were raped, Baekhyun, and you need to be mad about it, not just that Jongin was hurt.”

“Stop it!” The youngest sobbed, curling his hands into his hair as Chanyeol held his waist up. “Stop- I don’t- I don’t want to hear it.”

“Too bad.” Kyungsoo sniffed and ran his fingers over Baekhyun's exposed hip, the skin a dark purple bruise. “You need t-to realize you’re not okay.”

And then, the two let Baekhyun cry. Rocking him gently, letting him wail until he couldn’t scream or try to hit them anymore, until he just went silent and let the tears fall with soft sniffles.

It was heartbreaking, the two would cry as soon as Baekhyun went back to sleep, or he left. They felt so guilty, but Baekhyun needed to face reality, he couldn’t keep pushing off his anger, his fear. It was a reason he couldn’t function sometimes- because he didn’t comprehend, too used to brushing everything off.

“You done?” Chanyeol whispered into Baekhyun's forehead, reaching up to push his brown hair back, “You done, baby?”

Baekhyun licked his mouth and furrowed his forehead, “I’m sorry… for hitting you guys.” He whispered almost silently against Chanyeol's collarbone.

“Don’t be.” Kyungsoo sighed and grabbed one of Baekhyun's hands, looking at the red caked under his nails before pressing a kiss to his fingertips, “You want to talk now?”

Baekhyun only nodded and squeezed Kyungsoo's hand as he tucked himself to Chanyeol's shirt.

“Okay.” Chanyeol pressed a barely there kiss to Baekhyun's hairline before running his hand between his soulmates shoulder blades, “This hurts us too, baby. We promised you so much, and we didn’t- we didn’t keep it.”

Baekhyun didn’t respond, only nodding again. There was no point in trying to argue, not when they were right.

“We- we’re not going to make promises anymore.” Kyungsoo whispered, pressing Baekhyun's knuckles to his cheek. “We want- we really thought it was the truth. That… that we could protect you from anything, but.. but you knew the whole time it wasn’t, bec-because you’re smart, sweetheart. And you knew better.” He licked his dry lips and shook his head as he dropped Baekhyun's hand gently.

“We can’t always protect you. We can’t always protect Taeyong, but we will try and- and keep things from happening. What happened… it- we don’t know what to tell you. You were raped an-and Jongin isn’t talking about what happened, it’s too much to ask you too-“

“Jongin was getting the shit beat out of him.” Baekhyun mumbled, staring at the cell door to the right of Kyungsoo. “I could- I heard it all, he tried. He-he begged and screamed for them to let me go, he tried and… and it’s the most he could have done.”

“We’re not saying he didn’t do his best.” Chanyeol cupped the hair at the back of his neck, running his thumb over the soft skin where he noticed the skin a bit discolored, “We’re saying… we couldn’t understand what happened, and that we wished- wished you both weren’t in that situation in the first place.”

“Would you have… told them where everyone was?” Jongin muttered as he pulled the cell door open.

Baekhyun let out a silent cry at his soulmates face. All over his neck a dark purple, the side of his jaw, and his eye was swollen, a deep black. “Hyung.” He reached out a hand for Jongin to come closer to him.

“I don’t know, Jongin. We weren’t put in that situation.” Kyungsoo replied.

Jongin sighed and sat on Chanyeol's right, leaning over so Baekhyun could touch his face. “I didn’t know he was going to touch Baekhyun until right as he left, and then I tried to get their attention, but… I didn’t hear anything from his room so I didn’t know.”

Baekhyun curled his fingers around Jongin's chin, tilting his head. He noticed the swollen eye was bright red, the blood vessels all broken. Jongin only stared at him, pressing his lips to Baekhyun's fingers for a second.

“So you gave up the prison?” Kyungsoo asked, “You don’t want to talk about it, we heard you tell Junmyeon, but you need to.”

“He did it for me.” Baekhyun defended with no real feeling, running his fingers over Jongin's uninjured cheek. “It was either… either Jongin dies, he watches… watched me get- get raped again, or one of us tells.” He spat.

Baekhyun felt Chanyeol flinch and could only sigh softly and continue looking over Jongin.

“We weren’t going to say anything, we shouldn’t have.” Jongin whispered, “But… Baekhyun… he- you didn’t, you didn’t see, you didn’t hear what… that leader was saying or doing. It just… it slipped, and I put everyone in danger, but- I don’t feel anything but anger.”

“All of us are angry, but not at you guys.” Chanyeol said immediately, “Yifan Hyung knows it’s not your guys fault, everyone does. It’s an issue, yes. But we’re not upset with either of you guys… you both did- did so much for everyone and we realize.”

“Come here.” Jongin whispered, “Shh, we’re going to be okay, remember?” He asked quietly, pulling Baekhyun out of Chanyeol's lap. “You said that, baby. You told me that.”

“I-I didn’t even fight, and you look… you look so bad, Hyung.” Baekhyun cried, sitting back on Jongin's thigh and pulling his collar down to see how far the bruise on his neck went.

“It doesn’t matter, Baekhyun. You did what you thought was right and we’re not upset with you at all.” Kyungsoo said immediately.

Baekhyun sniffed and laughed wetly as Chanyeol reached over to wipe his nose with his own sleeve. “I’m gonna- I’m gonna go see Yixing later.”

“That’s good, sweetheart. You just.. don’t act like you don’t care anymore, okay?” Kyungsoo asked, reaching over Jongin's shoulder to touch Baekhyun's hair.

“You..” Baekhyun wrung his hands in Jongin's shirt for a second, “You guys can come… if you want.”

“Do you want us to?” Jongin muttered, pressing his cheek against the crown of Baekhyun's head, looking at Chanyeol shocked.

Baekhyun had never invited them to go with him. Not that they ever asked, and they were curious about what he and Yixing talked about. But it was private, and if Baekhyun wanted it to be a secret then they couldn’t care to ask if they could go.

They kept secrets too, and that was fine, if they weren’t hurting anyone then it was better to keep them that way. Like how Kyungsoo had read the whole journal, he had wanted to talk to Baekhyun about it, but it was so old… and so sad he didn’t want to bring it up when Baekhyun had been making so much progress up until now.

“Um… I don’t, I’m not sure… it might be- sometimes it might be too much, but if you want too…”

“I’ll be there, baby.” Kyungsoo whispered, “I’ll control myself, won’t say a word.”

“I… probably won’t.” Chanyeol said quietly, “You know I can’t control my anger, sweetheart. Jongin… probably shouldn’t either. But… Soo can give us a summary, yeah?”

“Okay.” Baekhyun agreed before looking at his clawed arm. “But… can- can you take me to the showers? I feel gross.”

Chanyeol frowned and stood up immediately, “Of course, love.”

“Me and Soo Hyung will find you those stale m&ms you wanted so badly.” Jongin added, pulling the edge of Baekhyun's shirt down when Chanyeol picked him up.

~~~~~~~~

Baekhyun shook his damp hair out into his towel, drowning in Chanyeol's biggest hoodie and long sweatpants that probably were one of the boys too.

They felt extremely bad when Baekhyun had freaked out at the plain t-shirt and jeans he usually wore, the crying making them guilty over picking out his usual clothes.

Baekhyun had cried until Chanyeol had offered him clothes that Baekhyun usually avoided because he could barely breathe in all the fabric. He loved to take the boys clothes, loved when Chanyeol's shirts hit his thighs, but this was one that was even big on Chanyeol.

But if Baekhyun wanted to be covered, which they realized immediately, they had no problem giving up all of their things, covering him head to toe.

“Here, you wanna hold your shirt up for Hyung?” Chanyeol requested quietly, “It’s bruise cream, I’m going to put it on you okay?”

“Jonginnie has it too?” Baekhyun asked quietly, holding the hoodie up to his belly button.

“Of course, I’ve been putting it on three times a day.” Jongin said softly.

Baekhyun nodded and flinched, looking down at Chanyeol knelt in front of him pulling the edge of his sweatpants down his hips.

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. It’s just me, okay? I’ll be quick.” Chanyeol whispered, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's hip.

Baekhyun nodded down at him before looking back up at Jongin. “I’ll put it on for you later.”

“Thank you, baby.” Jongin smiled and pressed a kiss to his temple, “I… I’m gonna go see what the leaders found, I’ll tell Yixing Hyung you’ll be down in a few.”

The younger hummed and leaned up for a kiss. Jongin smiled and pressed his mouth onto Baekhyun's for only a second, “I love you.”

“Love you.” Baekhyun mimicked, looking upset as Jongin walked out.

“Oh, sugar.” Kyungsoo sighed and leaned against the wall opposite Baekhyun, “Those look pretty bad.”

“You’re the one with crutches.” Baekhyun said, then frowned and looked down at his hips, the bruises weren’t that bad honestly, his soulmates were probably just upset in general, so he didn’t call them out.

“Just for a day or two, beautiful.” Kyungsoo laughed. “Then I’ll be fine.”

“Baek, the one on your tailbone is bad, I need to pull your pants down more, okay? I didn’t want to scare you again.” Chanyeol explained, “You can do it yourself… if you want.”

“Want you to do it.” Baekhyun said immediately, looking over his shoulder. “Hyung, I want you to do it.”

Now that one, that one hurt. Baekhyun was already in pain in areas he’d rather not mention until he saw Yixing, but his tailbone definitely hurt.

“Okay.” Chanyeol sighed and pulled Baekhyun's pants up, “We’ll do it again later, okay?” He said softly, pulling Baekhyun's hoodie down all the way to his knees, “Hyungs would never touch you badly, you know that right? You don’t need to be scared.”

“I know.” Baekhyun muttered, wrapping his arms around Chanyeol's waist, “I’ll go see Xing now.”

Chanyeol pressed his lips to Baekhyun's forehead and nodded, “Okay, Hyung loves you, Baekhyun. I’ll get Taeyong out of the way, you can see him… when you want to, but not right now I’m guessing?”

“A few days.” Baekhyun replied, “Few days.”

“No problem, I’ll tell him you’re sick from being outside, and we don’t want to make him sick.”

“Okay.” Baekhyun chewed his lip, “Soo Hyung, let’s go, please.”

~~~~~~~

Baekhyun held the cell door open for Kyungsoo, letting him crutch his way through before closing it and holding his pants up slightly as he walked towards the main resting area.

“Good morning.” Luhan smiled from across Taehyung and Baekhyun nodded at the people scattered about the room. He noticed Zitao leaning against the wall, cleaning his metal rod and looked at him curiously before looking away.

Chanyeol had explained to him how he had gotten here, and he supposed he should thank him, but there was enough attention on him right now, he would pull Zitao aside later.

“Have you guys seen Yixing?” Kyungsoo asked loudly, Baekhyun figured he probably noticed Baekhyun's nervousness with everyone staring at him. They knew, there was no way they didn’t, everyone just looked at him so… sympathetically, and he hated it.

Taehyung stood up quickly and Baekhyun stepped back out of instinct, back hitting the pantry shelf behind him, making the metal shelf clank into the wall and a few cans roll off the bottom shelf.

“Fuck.” Baekhyun cursed, kneeling down to pick them up, feeling everyone staring at him, his ears reddening.

“Hyung, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Taehyung whispered, “I’m sorry, let me help yo-“

“Let’s not get too close for a little.” Kyungsoo blocked him immediately, “It’s not you, Taehyung. It’s not your fault.”

“I wouldn’t- I’d never, Hyung- I’d never-“

“It’s okay.” Baekhyun sighed at the distress in Taehyung's tone, “I know, it’s okay. He’s fine, Soo.”

“Yixing is in his cell.” Minseok answered quietly.

Baekhyun smiled shyly and put the last few cans back before standing up, wrapping his arms around himself, “Thank you.” He replied, “And Taehyung… I’m sorry, it’s not your fault.”

“It’s not yours either.” Taehyung replied carefully, sending Baekhyun a look he couldn’t interpret.

“Yeah.” Baekhyun whispered, pulling the huge hood over his head and stepping closer to Kyungsoo, almost like he was protecting himself. “I know.”

“Let’s go see Hyung.” Kyungsoo said gently, slowly reaching over to grab the large fabric of the hoodie, “Let’s go, sweetheart.”

Baekhyun ducked his head as he rushed down the hallway, hearing the clacking of Kyungsoo's crutches behind him.

He looked at some of the sheets people had hung up in their cells for privacy until he saw a familiar uncovered cell.

Baekhyun had asked him once why him and Yifan didn’t put up a sheet, and Yixing claimed it was because they wanted people to be able to come by whenever they wanted. He had no idea how the soulmate couple could deal with rarely having privacy.

“Hyung, are you busy?”

Yixing peeked his head up from the book in his lap and as soon as he saw Baekhyun brought a hand to reach out for him. “Not for you. Never for you.” He tossed his book to the floor like it meant nothing.

Baekhyun scrunched his nose up in pain and practically jumped at the older man, curling up like a child, his head on Yixings lap.

“Poor baby. I don’t know what to say, sweetie. Me and Yifan… we- we’re going to figure something out.” Yixing said softly, patting Baekhyun's hood as he cried into his leg.

“We know.” Kyungsoo called from the doorway, clutching over to sit on the edge of the bed, pulling Baekhyun's pant leg over his ankle as if comforting himself by keeping Baekhyun all balled up and covered. “Tell… tell us what we do, Hyung… we can’t- why do people treat others… like this?”

The medic frowned as Kyungsoo dropped his head into his palms, crying. He’d known the man for over two years now, since the world had ended and he couldn’t recall seeing him cry.

“I don’t have an answer, Kyungsoo.” He said reluctantly.

Kyungsoo sniffed and turned to place his cheek on his palm, “Hyung… we’re worried… our soulmate already- he already was dealing, and now… now I’m- we don’t know… what can we do? What can we do, Hyung?”

“Hyung… Hyung it hurts.” Baekhyun cried, face hidden in Yixing’s pants and hood covering his profile. “I need help- please, fix me Hyung.”

Kyungsoo scrunched up his face and leaned over to press his forehead into Baekhyun's back, unable to deal with his begging.

“You’re not broken.” Yixing whispered, “Baekhyun you’re not broken, remember? You told me that everyday. You belong to yourself and nobody else, right? We were working on that.”

“I-I belong to men.” Baekhyun argued, “Men who-who don't five choices, everyone takes and takes and no-nobody cares if I don’t want it.”

“Hey.” Yixing growled, “We care. We all care. This isn’t going to be forgotten, Baekhyun. What those people did to you, did to Jongin, it was disgusting and we might not know everything, but we know enough to want them dead.”

“We’re going to hunt them down, Baek.” Kyungsoo said angrily, tears falling as he clutched Baekhyun's hoodie. “And we’re going to let you watch them die, because you deserve that much. Hell, you can kill them if you want, Hyungs would let you. We kill bad people and they’re the worst for what happened. We don’t like thieves, we don’t like abusers, and we certainly don’t fucking like rapists, Baekhyun.”

“I don’t like anyone else.” Baekhyun said gently, “Want it just to be us, just our group, I don’t want anyone else to come.”

“Shh, you don’t mean that, your heart is always in the right place, Baek. You’re just a bit traumatized right now, but we can work on it, we will continue until you can breathe.” The medic shook his head and pushed Baekhyun's hood off his face. “You’re always good, Baekhyun. And that’s hard to come by these days, it’s why everyone loves you so much.”

Baekhyun laughed darkly as he turned over, laying facing the ceiling with his head in Yixings lap. “That’s why I’m easy, right? Because I’m so good. I didn’t even fight, I just laid there, because I’m good. Right, Hyung?”

Yixing wiped his eyes and tried to configure what to say as Baekhyun threw his arm over his eyes.

“With my dad… he didn’t make me do things, it was expected, he didn’t demand… he just took, but… but that man wanted so much- he- he wanted me to say things, to do things. I couldn’t, he- he wanted me to say things, but Jongin was… he could hear it so I had to be quiet, I couldn’t give him the… satisfaction.” Baekhyun whispered, “It hurts more… that it was a stranger, I don’t- I don’t know why… maybe because I had thought I was past this, that I wouldn’t have to do.. that ever again.”

“W-we gave you false hope.” Kyungsoo sobbed into Baekhyun's stomach, “We’re sorry, we-we really thought we could protect you.”

“It’s okay.” Baekhyun moved his arm from his face to place it down onto Kyungsoo's cheek. “It’s okay, I don’t know if… if I really believed it was over anyways. I’ll always… be... good, that’s the problem.”

“That’s not a problem.” Yixing moved his hand from his own face to wipe Baekhyun's, “You're a good person, you’re misinterpreting the meaning. Being good doesn’t mean you are weak, or submissive, or that you listen all the time. It means you can see things clearer than anyone else. You’re the one that asks questions first, cares, we shoot first and regret it later, but you… you have hope in people even when we don’t, and that’s why you’re good.”

“I don’t have much… hope right now.” Baekhyun admitted, looking up at Yixing. “The Governor… he- he laughed and told me I was a good bitch after, I don’t think good is a compliment.”

Kyungsoo sucked in a harsh breath and pressed his nose into Baekhyun's stomach, “You're the best Baekhyun, don't- don't let what he has done ruin you. You’ve been through so much… so much, and I-we know it’s hard, that it hurts you, and fuck- it hurts us too, baby. But… we love you, you can’t- you sound like you’re giving up.”

“You can only handle so much.” Baekhyun scrubbed at his eyes as if trying to hold tears back. “Hyung, I-I don't know if I can keep… keep this up.”

“Baekhyun… we- we need to talk about this.” Yixing said softly, “I… I spoke to Yifan earlier, and we… we want to put you on antidepressants, just for a few months… just until we can figure something out. And… I’m sorry but we’re taking away you’re gun, and your knives-“

“What?” Baekhyun croaked like he was offended, “You-you think I’m going to hurt someone? That’s- I would never-“

“We think you’re going to hurt yourself.” Yixing sighed as Baekhyun sat himself up and shoved his back into the wall. “You obviously need them, honey. Just for a little.”

“That’s ridiculous.” Baekhyun scoffed and pulled his hand from Kyungsoo's when he grabbed it. “I would never leave my family. I might be fucked up- but I’d never… kill myself.”

“Look at this, Baek.” Kyungsoo whispered, reaching over and pushing Baekhyun's sleeves up, “You did this last night, right in front of everyone.” He said tearfully, pointing out the red, inflamed lines running down one of Baekhyun's forearms. “And look… baby, look at your palms, you did that this morning. You might not know, but you are hurting yourself.” He ran his thumb almost nail imprints in Baekhyun's palms, red crescents that had yet to heal.

Baekhyun gasped in disbelief, his wet face making hair stick to his cheeks. “I… I didn’t.”

“You did.” Kyungsoo whispered, pressing his lips to Baekhyun's temple apologetic even though he was only telling the truth. “We saw, baby.”

“How about this?” Yixing stood up from the edge of his cot and walked to the other side, digging through a duffle bag. “You guys had a lot of medicine in those baskets, when Zitao brought them we got them sorted out. So, this morning me and Yifan found the antidepressant we had the most of. It’s called Zoloft.

I’m going to give it to you, and you can decide on your own if you want to take it, okay? How much do you weigh? I'm going to figure out an appropriate amount.”

Baekhyun only stared at Yixing’s back in betrayal.

“He’s about 120- maybe.” Kyungsoo answered for him, rubbing his hand over Baekhyun's knee when he turned to glare at him.

“You need to eat more.” Yixing commented, “For now, if you decide to take them, take only a half of a pill we need to see how you respond.”

“I’m not going to.” Baekhyun whispered.

“There will be some side effects, he might get sick for the first week or two, probably exhausted and fatigued.” Yixing passed the bottle to Kyungsoo before turning to Baekhyun. “We only want you to be better, Baekhyun.”

“Everyone… everyone just wants to tell me what to do.” Baekhyun cried, jumping off the bed and leaving the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think? Does Baekhyun need the medicine?


	22. I Want The Medicine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He doesn’t want it, but he takes it.

He hadn’t taken the medicine. It had been sitting on the metal built in shelf in their cell for three days now, haunting Baekhyun.

Three days was also how long he had been sitting here doing absolutely nothing but staring at the book in his lap, blankets pulled around him, the heat making him sweat a bit, but he liked the extra cover over his pajamas.

Baekhyun had been wondering when one of the boys would finally ask about it, or try and convince him to take them- or even go out of the room. He had only dipped out to shower or grab food quietly, not really speaking to anyone before running back up the stairs.

Not that anyone really tried to talk to him, they seemed more afraid than he did, and that thought alone made Baekhyun scowl unknowingly.

“Babe, I’m going on a run with Junmyeon Hyung.” Kyungsoo said quietly, limping slightly as he walked towards the bed.

Baekhyun frowned and glanced at Chanyeol and Jongin, but Chanyeol was passed out from watch at the end of the bed and Jongin was busy putting a new butterfly bandage over his cheekbone. “Without kisses?”

“You want kisses?” Kyungsoo sounded surprised and Baekhyun hadn’t realized until now he hadn’t kissed or really given the boys any affection in days.

Baekhyun nodded, placing his book to the side and moving the heavy blanket off his lap to sit up. “Yes, Hyung.”

Kyungsoo smiled gently and sat on the floor carefully, leaning over to cup Baekhyun's cheek, running his thumb across his cheekbone. “You should get some sleep while I’m gone, you haven’t slept in a while.”

“I’ll get nightmares.” Baekhyun said honestly, pressing his forehead to Kyungsoo's.

The elder only sighed, looking like he wanted to add something else, but instead only pressing his mouth to the youngers for a few seconds before pulling back to press chaste pecks to his lips until he felt Baekhyun smile.

“Love you.” Kyungsoo prompted, pressing a soft kiss to Baekhyun's nose and then his forehead before standing up.

“I love you too.” Baekhyun chewed his lip as he watched Kyungsoo limp to grab his coat, “Be safe.”

“Of course.” Kyungsoo smiled and waved at Jongin before walking out and making Baekhyun sigh.

Jongin turned to look at him, his jaw and neck looking slightly shiny from the ointment on his skin.

At least he looked better now. His eye was no longer swollen, but an ugly black color around it, his bruises slowly fading out.

“Hyung will be fine.” Jongin said quietly, getting up and moving to sit beside Baekhyun.

Baekhyun reached out to rub the ointment into his skin immediately, careful to make sure his fingers weren’t pressing too hard. “I know.”

“Why do you look so upset then?”

“I don’t like when… when you guys leave the grounds.” Baekhyun admitted, “But I know they’re just getting wood for the fences.”

Jongin nodded, “This morning the walkers pushed down part of the east fence, almost broke it. They’re fortifying the first set of fences, don't worry.”

“Apparently… a lot can happen as soon as we step out of the gates.” Baekhyun muttered.

“Apparently.” Jongin agreed, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's hair. “You really should try to sleep a little, love. Your eyes are all red, don’t they hurt?”

“My head kind of hurts.” He replied, “I… I’m hungry though, I’ll eat and then get some sleep.” Baekhyun promised.

“Okay.” Jongin smiled and laid down, watching Baekhyun climb out of his cocoon. “I’ll nap too, and when I get up you better be snoring.”

Baekhyun laughed quietly, pulling a zip up over himself even though his sweater already covered anything. “Deal.”

Baekhyun smiled at Jongin stealing his spot, taking all the heat he had made from the blankets and turned to walk down the stairs, shutting the cell door quietly so Chanyeol wouldn’t wake up.

He knew everyone was out here, and nobody really tried to talk to him except Yifan. Out of all of them he never took the leader for the soft type, but he had been wrong, Yifan was on him like a hawk when he spotted him- relentless the past few days until Yixing would get the leader off his back.

“Baekhyun, good to see you.”

Baekhyun held back his sigh and smiled at him before turning to grab a plate, walking over to the pot of rice and some sort of dehydrated meat. Prison food didn’t taste like anything, but Minseok was a good cook, usually finding a way to give the food at least some flavor.

“You going to eat with us today?” Yifan asked.

“I was going to take a nap with Jongin and Yeol.” Baekhyun whispered, ignoring the eyes on him as he felt red creep up the nape of his neck.

“Aren’t you hot in that?” Sunmi suddenly worried, “It’s not cold in here.”

“Sunmi!” Baekhyun heard Luhan hiss.

He only pretended to ignore the interaction, and question, setting his bowl down on the counter to dig around for a cup because his throat suddenly felt very dry.

Baekhyun heard Yixing clear his throat, “Baekhyun, you look a little pale, why don’t-“

Baekhyun didn’t hear whatever he said because arms wrapped around his hips, little arms. But he couldn’t process that.

All he knew was that someone was touching him, and he didn’t know who, couldn’t feel who, but hands were on his stomach and he couldn’t breathe.

His breath came out quickly as he closed his eyes, covering his face.

“Hyung?”

“Tae, get off, move, move.” Yixing said gently.

Baekhyun's legs shook and he basically had no choice but to drop to the ground and wrap his arms around his knees, pressing his face into them.

“Baekhyun, breathe.” Yifan ordered, running across the room, approaching cautiously to pull Taeyong back. “You’re okay, you’re okay, Baek.”

“Hyung?” Taeyong trembled, turning to look up at Yifan. “I scared him.”

“He’s okay, it’s not your fault, go get Chanyeol in his cell.” Yifan urged, pushing Taeyong in that direction.

Everyone was watching Baekhyun's rocking, a slow panicked movement, his eyes held tightly shut, hands in his hair and what sounded like incoherent whispering.

“Baek Hyung.” Sehun tried across the room, “Hyung.”

Baekhyun didn’t even look like he could hear him, not even a glance or a movement to indicate acknowledgement.

Yixing stood up, walking over to his soulmate who stood a few feet away from Baekhyun in utter shock, confusion, and disbelief. “He’ll be okay, don’t touch him.”

“Well I’m not just going-just gonna watch this!” Luhan said, standing up, “Do something!”

“If you touch him you’re going to scare him, Lu.” Minseok leaned over Zitao and grabbed his arm, “He’s panicking from a hug from his own brother- you’re definitely not going to help- sit down or leave.”

Luhan didn’t have time to argue or respond as a messy haired Chanyeol came booming down the hall, “What happened? What happened!” He exclaimed.

“Baekhyun.” Yifan muttered quietly, “Chanyeol… we don’t- we don’t know what to do.”

Chanyeol frowned, eyes puffy from sleep as he looked where Yifan pointed, a few feet in front of him and almost under the plastic table, curled in a ball Baekhyun was wearing himself out.

“Shit.” The man cursed and practically pushed Yixing and Yifan out of the way to get to Baekhyun, dropping to his knees onto the cement loudly. “Baby… Baek, you’re okay.”

“If you touch him he’s going to freak out.” Yixing said quickly when Chanyeol went to touch him. “Really, Yeol, he's not… he doesn’t know what’s happening.”

Chanyeol heard his warning, he did, but he didn’t care about the warning and gently laid a hand on Baekhyun's arm. “Moon… hey, baby.”

Baekhyun flinched like he was just stabbed, kicking his legs out and launching his fists out practically blindly, vision blurred and heart pumping.

“Hey! It’s me, it’s me.” Chanyeol struggled for only a second before getting Baekhyun's wrists into his hands, holding firmly but not painfully. “Shhh, Shh, you’re okay.”

“Don’t- I don’t- no more! No more!” Baekhyun screeched, echoing off the cement as if he didn’t recognize Chanyeol at all.

Chanyeol cringed and tried to shush him, but Baekhyun's whimpering and pleads were too loud, too painful. “Get Jongin, someone get Jongin.”

Baekhyun quieted at the name, his sobbing loud, but quieter than it was moments before, stopping his fight against Chanyeol's grip. “J-Jongin?”

“That’s right.” Chanyeol said immediately, “You want to see Jongin?”

Baekhyun's chest moved up and down fast as his panic began to simmer, his fight or flight instincts bubbling down to exhaustion as he nodded, pupils blown and slowly becoming smaller.

“I’ll take you to him.” Chanyeol said quietly, “I’ll take you to him, little moon. Just breathe for a second.” He cooed, releasing his arms when he deemed it safe and running a hand over Baekhyun's hair. “Do you know where you are?”

Baekhyun closed his eyes for a second as he breathed heavily, “Home.”

“That’s right, and you’re safe, everyone is okay.”

“I… I scared Taeyong?” Baekhyun rubbed his temple at the pounding headache he felt building up before opening his eyes and looking around.

Everyone was staring at him in fear. Of what, Baekhyun had no idea, but it felt like a bucket of cold water poured on him, like being knocked out.

Everyone already looked at him like he was wounded, like he had some sort of injury. They weren’t wrong, and he honestly wasn’t mad about it, but it still disgusted him to know that they all knew what he could have kept a secret.

He could have lied and told never Jongin what happened, denied it. But they would have known anyways. And Baekhyun never lied, he had never lied to them, only harmlessly withheld information when needed.

And now, all of the people in the prison knew- except Taeyong- but he hardly counted, and he was probably extremely confused as to what was happening right over his head.

“Chanyeol.” Baekhyun turned to look at Chanyeol, putting his arms out for him, “I want the medicine now.”

“Okay.” Chanyeol mumbled, grabbing him under his knees with one hand and cupping the back of his head as if trying to shield him from the others view. “Whatever you want, Baekhyun.”

~~~~~~~

To say his soulmates were worried would be an understatement.

Baekhyun had only been on the medication a few days, and he was already acting out of it.

And out of the three, Jongin couldn't stand what had happened. He couldn’t stand the thought that he could have prevented this- or so he thought- and he was just so angry. A rage nobody had really seen from him before.

“Zitao!” He yelled as he stomped into the cafeteria, dressed in an all black, armored guard uniform.

“He's coming. We should hit him now.”

Zitao looked up confused from beside Junmyeon, “What?”

“He won't be expecting it. We'll sneak back in and put a bullet in his head.” Jongin growled, checking the bullets in his pistol.

“We're not assassins.” Yixing said in shock. “Jongin, calm down, you’re going to scare Taeyong if he sees you.”

“You know where his apartment is. You and I could end this tonight.” Jongin tried, looking at Zitao as if he was the only one in the room. “I'll do it myself if not.”

Junmyeon sighed and stood up, “He didn't know we were coming last time and look what happened. You were almost killed. You and Baekhyun were tortured, we know you’re upset, but-“

“You can't stop me.” Jongin argued, rubbing over his bruised eyes as if it didn’t hurt at all- which was a huge lie.

“Yifan Hyung would never allow this.” Sehun threw out sadly.

Jongin huffed in anger, “You really think he's in any position to make that choice? This is about me- about my soulmate- it’s personal.”

“Think this through clearly. It isn't worth any more killing. If he's really on his way, we should be out of here by now.” Taehyung prompted.

“And go where?” Jongin could feel his hands shaking in anger.

“We lived on the road all winter.”

“Back when Kyungsoo could walk on two legs and we didn't have Baekhyun who can’t even stand up right now.” Everyone flinched at Jongin's mention of Baekhyun.

Jongin spun on his heels, walking towards the exit when Junmyeon grabbed his sleeve, “Jongin! You're not going back to Woodbury, are you?”

“No. I'm just going out there.” Jongin shook him off and grabbed a pair of keys from the shelf by the entryway.

“By yourself? How can you possibly think that's a good idea? You went on a simple medicine run and got the crap beat out of you. Baekhyun was attacked.”

Jongin snarled and turned to face Junmyeon, “You think I don’t know that? Are you saying this is my fault? I did what I could. I can’t fucking look at Baekhyun and forget- fuck you. You all have no idea.”

Junmyeon looked at him like he was unrecognizable and refused to let go of his arm. “We know you did. So does Baekhyun. He’s one of the people most precious to us and you know this. This rage is going to get you killed.”

Jongin only looked across the group of people as he shoved the keys into Junmyeon’s hand and shook his head. “I have the right to be angry.”

“You do, we agree, but you should also be with Baekhyun right now.” Yixing said firmly.

~~~~~~

Baekhyun cried and held the bucket to his chest, head tilted downwards.

“Oh, baby. Just a little longer, a few days and if you aren’t better then we need to ask Yixing Hyung for a different type.” Kyungsoo said quietly, pushing Baekhyun's hair out of his face, waiting for Chanyeol to pass him a damp rag.

“Sleep.” Baekhyun's eyes were closed and they weren’t even sure he was awake unless he said something, he was so tired, and the medication made him so lethargic and odd when he was awake, often throwing up.

“We know, sweetheart.” Chanyeol sighed and wiped Baekhyun's chin down, moving the bucket from his lap, “Taeyong brought you some rice when you were sleeping, did you want to eat some?”

Baekhyun made a quiet sobbing noise as if they were arguing, “Sleep.”

Kyungsoo sighed and ran his hand up and down Baekhyun's back, “A few bites, and you can go back to sleep. We won’t ask you again until tonight if you take a few bites. Deal?”

“... ‘Kay.” The youngest replied with watering eyes, blinking long as if it took too much energy to open his eyes again.

“Okay, babe. Here, open.” Chanyeol cooed, grabbing the plate and cupping the back of Baekhyun's head when he looked like he was going to lay back down voluntarily or not. “There we go, love.”

Baekhyun scrunched his face up with a tired eye smile at the nickname before accepting a second bite and pushing Chanyeol's hand away. “Done.”

“Ah, one more.” Kyungsoo cooed, “One more for Hyungs, please.”

“Where… where is Nini?” Baekhyun's eyes were staying closed because he didn’t have the energy to open them as he let Chanyeol feed him another bite, the elders hand holding him up.

“He said he was going on watch, you don’t remember? It was only an hour or so ago, sugar.” Kyungsoo fussed.

Baekhyun scrunched his nose in confusion, shoving both of his hands together and sinking over his lap with his hands between his thighs.

It was an odd posture, but his soulmates had seen him do some odd things lately- if it comforted him then they would let him do whatever he wanted, they didn’t control him.

“Come on, baby. You can eat one more.” Chanyeol cooed.

Baekhyun gave no response except his back going limp against Chanyeol's hand.

“Baek?” Chanyeol sighed, “Baby…”

“Just let him sleep.” Kyungsoo rubbed his eyes with his palms, “We can’t do anything, not until his body gets used to the medicine. It’s common to have these side effects.”

The eldest pulled his face together in anger, contrasting the gentleness he used as he laid Baekhyun down, pulling the blankets around the younger loosely in case he needed to throw up.

The first night they learned the hard way when they woke up to Baekhyun sobbing and apologizing into his ruined shirt. He had fallen asleep pretty much as soon as they got him into the showers, and they cried silently.

“He’s already underweight, Soo. He needs to be eating more, he can’t stay up for more than ten minutes to eat and only ate a bowl of mashed potatoes yesterday- he’s only puking stomach acid at this point.”

“Well what the fuck do you want me to do about it? I’m fucking worried too, Hyung. This will be better for him in the long run, this medication helps with panic, it helps with PTSD, he needs it.” Kyungsoo snapped before frowning at his own behavior and shaking his head, “I’m sorry, we’re all stressed out.”

“Don’t lose it on me, Kyungsoo.” Chanyeol said firmly, “You're the level headed one, Jongin has already lost his shit, I can’t pretend to be the calm one.”

“Well I can’t always be the calm one.” Kyungsoo said softly, “You’re better at being level headed than you think. And Jongin has reason to, we shouldn’t- we’re all mad.”

“Of course.” Chanyeol whispered, pulling the blanket over his lap and laying on his side, draping his left arm across Baekhyun's stomach. “I’ll fucking kill anyone that comes near.”

If any stranger saw the group they’d assume the three older boys were simply touchy with Baekhyun, or extremely enamored- both of which were true- but the real reason for their actions were protective.

A hand on his side, an arm around his stomach, anything to keep him close, to keep Baekhyun grounded because they had no idea what would trigger another episode.

Nobody spoke about it, Taeyong tried to ask about it multiple times, but it was completely brushed off for the youngest in the group, and everyone could see Taeyong was absolutely pissed about it, that nobody would tell him what was going on with his own brother.

“Yeah, well, let’s hope Jongin doesn’t go off alone when he thinks we aren’t paying attention, I took his armor away- hid it in Taehyung's room. Baekhyun asked why he was wearing it all the time last night, I think it freaked him out.” Kyungsoo explained, “I don’t think Jongin is trying to get himself killed, he wouldn’t leave without it.”

“Of course not, he wouldn’t do that to Baekhyun. To us.” Chanyeol rubbed his hand gently over Baekhyun's stomach when he whined in his sleep, his hands unconsciously searching for comfort, unknowingly clinging to Chanyeol's shirt with a deadly grip. “There’s only so much Baekhyun can take… one of us dying… that’s not plausible.”

Baekhyun shifted, eyes cracking open with a frown. “Hyung…” He murmured, blinking at the ceiling before closing his eyes again, “H-Hyung.”

Kyungsoo shushed him softly at the first sign of tears, the shaking voice. “We’re right here, sweetheart. We love you.” He ran his thumb over Baekhyun's brow bone softly even though he wasn’t sure if he was already asleep or not.

“Go to sleep, little moon. When you get up Jongin will be here too.” Chanyeol pressed his chin down on Baekhyun's curls, shadowing Baekhyun with his large form, “We know, love. You don’t feel good.”

Baekhyun was already long asleep again, but for some reason he was still crying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is actually based on my own experience with Zoloft! The first two weeks I was so sick I lost almost fifteen pounds, it really messes with you.


	23. Trapped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t be too mad at Taeyong, he is a teenager after all!

In the weeks following, Baekhyun didn’t think the medication was helping all that much. It made him overly tired, emotional even though it was supposed to regulate his mood, and his mind spun uncontrollably sometimes.

Yixing said it was probably because he was telling himself it wasn’t working, that he didn’t have any faith the medicine would help. Baekhyun thought that was bullshit.

They wouldn’t even give Baekhyun his weapons back, and he couldn’t take one from the shelf when people were constantly watching him.

“Hyung.” Taeyong said quietly, standing in the doorway of his cell. “What are you doing?”

“Hi, bug.” Baekhyun smiled, looking over his little brother.

He hadn’t noticed until recently that the past month or so Taeyong looked different. Sure, he had grown, he had a growth spurt, but something in his eyes… It was too old to belong to a thirteen year old.

“I’m just… I'm just counting.”

“Counting medicine? I heard Xing Hyung talking to Kyungsoo Hyung earlier and he said they’re going to change how many you take.” Taeyong revealed, looking at Baekhyun confused. “What’s it for anyways? Everyone just says they’re vitamins, but if that were true you’d be looking healthier- and your face looks skinnier now.”

“They make me not hungry.” Baekhyun replied, “Take a seat.” He added, scooping the medicine he broke into halves back into the bottle.

Taeyong adjusted himself on the corner of the mattress on the floor and Baekhyun's eyes latched onto the holster attached to his brother's leg enviously.

His thirteen year old brother got a gun and knives, but not him, because he was untrustworthy apparently.

“They’re called antidepressants, do you know what those are?”

“Aren’t they… they're for people who give up.” Taeyong replied.

Baekhyun shuttered and nodded slightly. “I guess, but I’m taking them because I panic- do you remember a few weeks ago? I get scared really easily.”

“But why now? Why do you need to take them now? You’ve always been like that Hyung.”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun laughed humorlessly, it wasn’t Taeyongs fault, he never got the education, he didn’t understand a lot of things, and that’s probably why he was always so blunt, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt. “Yeah I guess I was always like that. Tell me the truth, Tae. You think it’s weak, and that’s okay, I agree.”

“I don’t…” Taeyong turned to look at him carefully, like he wasn’t sure to be truthful or not, “I don’t know that it’s weakness, but it’s an issue. Hyungs took away your weapons because of it, and that makes you… what’s the-“

“Vulnerable.” Baekhyun cut in, “Like a child, looks like it's your turn to take care of me.”

Taeyong looked at him blank faced, and Baekhyun couldn't read it and see if he had said something wrong, or what the look was for.

“Just pull yourself together and you can fight with us again.” Taeyong said it like it was simple.

Baekhyun scoffed and wrung his hands in his blanket to keep from screaming, or crying. “You don’t understand, Taeyong, I can’t.”

“Then tell me. I tell everyone that I’m not a child- that I can handle things, I have a soulmark now, I have perfect aim- what else can I do to prove myself? I can’t be a kid, you guys are all stuck on the idea that I shouldn’t be this way, that I want to sit around on my ass! There’s nothing more I want to do than fight, Hyung!” Taeyong screamed.

Baekhyun flinched and hit his head on the wall on accident, hissing and cupping the back of his head. “We want to give you a better life.”

“There is no better life! Hyung, I wake up and kill walkers through the fence right after breakfast! I put up reinforcements on the upper walkways so we wouldn’t get fucking shot! This is the best life we could get now!”

“Don’t cuss at me!” Baekhyun snapped, tears falling, “You think I don’t know this? Fuck, Taeyong! I’m the one that’s fucked up, you know me and Jongin got fucked up, so if you want to be a man so badly stop acting like a child!”

“You’ve been fucked up! Even before this you were fucking crazy. You don’t want me to be a child anymore so fine, I’ll tell you! You think I never noticed? I knew something was going on- I don’t know what- but I know an- and you’re the one that’s fucked Hyun-“

“Taeyong, shut the fuck up!” Kyungsoo yelled from down the hall, footsteps running in.

If they could hear from the resting area, there was no doubt everyone could.

“What the fuck, Taeyong!” Chanyeol pulled him up by his arm and gently shoved him towards the door. “You’re a child, you don’t talk back to your brother.”

Taeyong ignored him, peering through the bars and staring at Baekhyun, his stomach twisting guiltily as Kyungsoo picked up Baekhyun's hands and he was shaking. “Hyung, I’m-i'm sorry- I didn’t… Hyung, I love you, I’m sorry-“

“Go, Taeyong.” Jongin placed his hands on the youngests shoulders, steering him away from the bars.

And if there was something Baekhyun always did, always, without fail, it was to respond to Taeyong. Even now when he was shaking and wanted to throw up, he couldn’t even look at him, but he replied, “Love you.”

“I want to see him- Hyung, I wa-I want to apologize.” Taeyong tried, tears falling down his face, “Please.”

“Go on watch with Junmyeon Hyung, go.” Chanyeol called sternly, “Baekhyun isn’t upset with you, but I am, go, we'll talk later.”

Taeyong huffed, “You guys always say we’ll talk later, but we never do.” And then he walked away.

“Baek.” Kyungsoo pulled him to his feet, “Come on, let’s get some air.”

Baekhyun nodded, wrapping his arm around Kyungsoo's like he was going to fall over, “Yeah.”

~~~~~~~

“Do you like these flowers?”

Baekhyun hummed and curled himself around Chanyeol's hip, looking behind at Jongin. “I like all flowers.”

Kyungsoo laughed beside him, throwing his arm around Baekhyun's shoulders, “I like you.”

Baekhyun laughed quietly, accepting the kiss to his nose.

It was easy to pretend the world wasn’t completely shit sometimes. Like now, how they were walking along the yard, ignoring the walkers snarling outside the fence at them. Well, mostly ignoring, every once in a while one of his soulmates would turn and stab one through the fence if they pushed too hard on the wood fortifications propped up against the outermost fence.

“We don’t know a lot about what you like.” Jongin commented, a yellow flower in his hand that he tucked behind Baekhyun's ear. “What do you like?”

“I like you guys.” Baekhyun giggled as Chanyeol playfully nipped at his cheek with a wide grin. “I like… the color blue.”

“Like the sky?” Kyungsoo wondered.

“No… like… like turquoise. I can’t think… of a lot… the medicine makes me dizzy.” Baekhyun stated, walking ahead of them and rubbing his temple.

The three’s smiles dropped for a second before putting them back on when Baekhyun turned around with a smile. “I like strawberries, I wonder if there’s any in the woods.”

“We’ll find you some then.” Chanyeol vowed, “It makes me sad seeing your cheekbones like this, we’ll let you eat so many until you’re all chubby.”

Baekhyun snorted, running his palm over his cheek at the comment. It was flatter than his face used to be, he could feel his muscles in his jaw when he opened his mouth. “I’m still okay looking though?”

“Still beautiful.” Kyungsoo said immediately, “Still so pretty, don't ever worry about that. We just want you to be… healthy, it’s not that we don’t think you’re pretty anymore.”

“I guess… Yixing Hyung said I was 112 two days ago.” Baekhyun said quietly, bending down to pick a few more flowers.

“Baby, that’s not good, love. You should be at least 130, we have food now. We know it’s not your choice, but we really don’t want to see you so thin anymore, you’re smaller than when we first saw you.” Jongin said carefully, kneeling to help him collect the flowers he liked, other hand running over the knobs of Baekhyun's spine. “You don’t like it either, we know you feel sick these days.”

“I thought the medicine was going to help.” Baekhyun replied with a smile as he placed a flower in Jongin's hair, making the man laugh and pull him to his chest.

“It has. You haven’t had any big panic attacks, and that’s progress. You even went to the showers by yourself the other day and you said you ran into Zitao and had no problems.” Kyungsoo pointed out.

“Zitao is nice.” Baekhyun nodded, “He fits in well, even if he doesn’t talk very much.”

“He saved your and Jongin's life, sweetheart. He's part of us now, he belongs.” Chanyeol added.

“Yeah.” Baekhyun smiled cutely and threw himself into Chanyeol’s chest, pressing his forehead into the firm muscle. “He belongs.”

Chanyeol leaned over to press his nose into Baekhyun's hair, wrapping arms around his narrow shoulder tightly, “Everyone here belongs.”

Kyungsoo reached over to adjust Baekhyun's shirt because he knew the younger didn't like even the smallest bit of skin showing, and the tiniest bit of his hip peeked out because Chanyeol's grip hiked up his shirt.

“Baekhyunnie, the-“

Suddenly, gunshots were going off and the group froze as one flew right past where Chanyeol's head had been if he hadn’t thrown himself and Baekhyun down into the long grass.

Kyungsoo and Jongin ran for shelter.

“Go!”

Baekhyun felt his heart racing, someone was attacking them.

“Stay down!” Chanyeol said firmly, “Stay down, I’ll be back!”

Baekhyun could only nod, eyes wide in confusion. He reached out to grab Chanyeol when he realized his intentions but was too late as Chanyeol ran towards the watchtower, gunshots flying past.

Baekhyun had no weapons, he had nothing at all, all he could do was crawl through the grass towards the cell block door.

But a bullet flew directly over his shoulders, skimming his shirt and he went limp, pulling the grass to the side and eyeing the walkers on the other side of the fence that were giving away his position.

But behind the walkers, was a familiar man. A man that sent shivers down his spine, and he smirked, like he knew. Baekhyun met eyes with him, but he didn’t shoot- the sniper in his grip not reaching for the trigger even though he had the perfect opportunity.

The Governor waved, and then Baekhyun heard a smashing sound, jumping and looking to his other side at a car horn.

A white and red van was driving through the front fence, Baekhyun huffed into the dirt and looked back over at The Governor, he was gone.

But when he looked at the van, the back dropped down and a bunch of walkers started stumbling out, a man jumping from the driver seat, covered head to toe in black armor and booking it out of the broken fence, Yifan's shots from the towers hitting the man's armor, but it must have been thick.

It was a set up, Baekhyun realized. They were warning them, giving them a taste of what they could do.

“Baekhyun!” Kyungsoo yelled out the doorway of the tower.

Baekhyun screamed and kicked at a walker, snapping its knee backwards and scrambling to his feet. He looked around, trying to find a clear way to go, it seemed he was the only one not somewhere safe- he could see Taehyung shooting off the upper walkways alongside Minseok.

“Run!” Yifan cried, “Run!”

Baekhyun took off towards the cell block entrance, but it was covered. Someone shot a walker right behind him, the blood spattering over his back; he could hear them screaming at him but couldn’t register what about as he turned and climbed onto the hood of the van.

He couldn’t do anything, not without a weapon, all he could do was kick at the walkers with his boot or stomp on their decomposing hands to try and keep their nails away.

Baekhyun was trapped, again.


	24. No Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yifan needs an opinion.

Baekhyun cried as he kicked out at a walker, the creature grunting viciously and getting pushed back into other decomposing things.

“Baekhyun!” He registered screaming.

“Hyung! Hyung!” Taeyongs tone was erratic, Baekhyun had tears blurring as he looked up at the watch tower and saw his brother aiming a sniper between the holes in the fence.

A hand grabbed his pant leg and he fell backwards at the unexpected strength of the walker.

His head hit the aluminum hood and he saw spots of black.

Baekhyun only snapped out of it when he heard a disgusting hissing right beside his neck and flailed away from the drooling mouth of the walker, moving back onto the windshield, backing up onto the top of the van.

Someone shot a walker beside him and Baekhyun did nothing but curl into a ball, crying, and uselessly kick the creatures hands off the edge of the vehicle.

But he was pissed. He would have been fine- he wouldn’t have needed anyone’s help if only he had his weapons.

Now, he felt like a baby, doing nothing but wailing and sobbing. He didn’t want to die by a walker bite, just the thought he found pathetic, if he was going to die he wanted the reason to be better than him losing to the man that had raped him- ruined him, again.

“Baekhyun!” Baekhyun wondered how they all hadn’t gotten tired of yelling for him, how their voices weren’t hoarse yet.

He closed his eyes and covered his ears. Baekhyun knew they had found a stocked armory- they had gotten lucky- but he still felt they were wasting bullets on him.

He felt the metal bending in before he looked up and released a relieved cry and reached up for Sehun, realizing they had cleared as much of a path as they could.

“Fuck, Hyung.” Sehun cursed as he picked him up, jumping off the hood of the car, holding the back of Baekhyun's hair, uncaring that it was matter down and crusted from the dead’s remains. “You better not have fucking gotten bit.”

Baekhyun couldn't respond, too winded as if he was the one running and not the one being carried.

Sehun dodged what little walkers were left, running to the cell door that was being held open by Zitao.

“Sehun, put him here!” Yixing yelled, “Someone get water, and a rag, we need to check for bites and scratches.”

“Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo ran over as Sehun set Baekhyun on top of the metal table, “Breathe, baby. You’re okay, right? Did you get bit?”

Baekhyun's face was contorted in terror as he grabbed onto Kyungsoo's shirt, “He-Soo he looked at me! H-Hyung, Hyung we’re going to die!”

“You saw him?” Zitao asked loudly.

“I did too.” The loud metal door sounded as those who were on watch rushed in. “I saw him too.” Yifan growled, “Fuck, I had my gun locked on him but I was out of ammo.”

“Watch out.” Yixing said softly, pushing Kyungsoo to the side and beginning to wipe the blood from Baekhyun's neck.

“I didn’t- not bit.” Baekhyun whispered, pressing his forehead to Kyungsoo's chest with a loud pant.

“Could be scratched, no harm in looking.” Jongin muttered, almost in disbelief as he pressed his palm to Baekhyun's ankle.

“We need to go.” Chanyeol started, “This was a warning, we could have been killed- Baekhyun was almost killed.”

“We might have some thick walls to hide behind, but he's got the firepower and the numbers. And if he takes the high ground around this place, shoot, he could just starve us out if he wanted to.” Luhan agreed.

“What are you suggesting?” Junmyeon asked, a furrow for his brow as he wiped the sweat from his skin, “We’re not leaving- not when we’ve worked so hard for this place. You want to just let him win? After everything he’s done to us- to Jongin and Baekhyun?”

Chanyeol furrowed his brows and slammed his palm on the metal table loudly, “Don’t you fucking bring him into this, you think we don’t fucking know what he’s done? Fuck- I’ll… I'll rip his goddamn head off!”

“Hyung…” Taeyong whispered, “Hyung… you’re scaring my brother..” He pointed out against the wall, a mad look on his face as if he hadn’t just screamed at Baekhyun hours before.

Chanyeol breathed harshly and dropped his gun on the table before gently moving Yixing out of the way. “Baek, I’m sorry. Hyung is sorry, beautiful.” He cooed, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's damp temple.

“Want- I want my we-weapons back.” Baekhyun sniffed with a wet frown, hiding his face in Kyungsoo's stomach.

“We can’t-“

“Just let him have them.” Sunmi defended, cutting off Yixing, “He was almost killed, fuck if he wanted to kill himse-someone he would have already, just let him have his shit.”

“They’re right, Xing.” Minseok said gently, “You want to protect him, we do too, but he needs to be able to protect himself also.”

“Alright.” Yifan commented, “Everyone gear up, we got a field full of walkers that needs to be cleared, we’re going to need lookouts every minute. I’ll take Baekhyun to-“

“We’ll take Baekhyun.” Jongin said immediately, “We’ll take him.”

Yifan raised a brow and crossed his arms, “I want to talk to him privately, I’m only going to walk him to get clothes. What…. you don’t trust me suddenly?”

“I’m having trouble trusting anyone since Sehun saw Chaeyoung there.” Jongin said honestly. “And since Zitao said she looked just like the girl The Governor was with.”

“W-What?” Baekhyun whispered, flinching back from Kyungsoo's chest and holding his stomach, “What?”

“Listen… we didn’t tell you because you didn’t need to-“

“You… you didn’t think that was important!” Baekhyun hissed, “I already- I already feel like shit an-and… I’m going… I’m gonna throw up.” He stood up wobbly, his boots making wet noises with all the blood on them.

“You don’t need to feel guilty, you never did anything wrong.” Yixing said worriedly.

Baekhyun sighed and stopped at the bottom stair to look over at him, “I’m tired of you trying to get into my head, you don’t want to.”

~~~~~~~~~

Yifan chewed his lip as he stood on the last step that led to the perch Baekhyun was in, peering through the cell bars.

Baekhyun was only brushing out his wet hair, but for some reason it made the leader feel horrible.

People's lives were in his hands, peoples families were in his care. The responsibility could fall on Junmyeon too, because back when they had formed the camp that was the deal, to share it.

But Junmyeon didn’t like the pressure, he was much more emotional than Yifan, more likely to shoot first. And that didn’t make him as reliable.

Yifan was the decision maker, the true leader, everyone could see it. But that didn’t mean he had to like all that came with it; like this.

“Hey, I brought you some food.” Yifan said quietly, pushing the cell door open.

Baekhyun's eyes widened before he visually calmed down. He was extremely pale, and thin, Yifan had been keeping up with Yixing’s updates, but he hadn’t… gotten around to see for himself.

Some leader he was.

“You guys got this room decorated pretty nicely, huh?” Yifan mused with a slight smile, looking at the lights strung around the top of the room, “Mind if I sit?”

Baekhyun reached over, pushing the stack of books he pulled out to give away to the floor- he had read them all already. “Kyungsoo doesn’t like it to be really dark in here.” He answered. “And Jongin likes decorations… makes this place seem… like a home.”

“You guys aren’t putting a sheet over the bars for privacy?” Yifan asked, a bit awkwardly as if he didn’t know how to make small talk.

“There’s no reason too.” Baekhyun answered and Yifan internally cringed, “And Tae likes to come in randomly- he doesn’t have any concept of privacy.”

Yifan snorted, setting the paper bowl in Baekhyun's lap, “Oh, don’t I know it, ‘Hyung, let me borrow your gun,’ ‘Hyung, let me follow you today.’” He mimicked, feeling calmer when Baekhyun laughed.

“He likes you.” Baekhyun smiled, twirling the fork into the food he was given without actually eating it.

“He likes you too.” Yifan looked away, eyeing the books and random toys on the wall in front of him. “He’s a teenager, and it must be hard… to be in a world like this, it changed so suddenly.”

“We don’t get along these days.” The younger sighed, setting the bowl on the floor beside him, “He wants to be included and take care of me, but he doesn’t understand that he doesn’t need to know everything.”

“I wanted your opinion.” The leader said gently, “Out of all of us… you have the most weight in the decisions right now.”

Baekhyun snorted as if it was genuinely funny, “I’m unstable, I’m hardly sane enough to be making decisions. You should ask Luhan, he has a lot to say recently.”

“I don’t need you to… be sane. I used to be a cop and we hated psych calls, but sometimes insanity is better these days.” Yifan said, “I just want you to be honest, and tell me what your opinion is- regardless of what anyone else thinks- just you.”

“Why?” Baekhyun frowned, pulling his knees to his chest.

“Because I care about you, I value your opinion. Sure, the others might think… you’re unstable, but I think we need your perspective either way.”

Baekhyun chewed on his cheek as he thought the words over, watching Yifan reach out and pick up a flower laying on the ground, withered.

“You’d do anything for us.” The leader said gently, running his hand over the flower without looking at Baekhyun, “For any of us- I don’t know if it’s good or bad yet, but I think it’s… a trait we all need. You might be a better leader than me one day, I know you wouldn’t want it, but… one day we’re going to start a counsel, when we have more people. And you’re going to be in it- it can’t just be me.”

“You said this was a dictatorship once.”

“I was wrong.” Yifan said immediately, “How you live, how you die it isn’t up to me. I’m not your governor. We choose to go, we choose to stay, we stick together.”

Baekhyun stiffened at the title even though it was meant to calm him down, but just the name made him angry.

He reached over to pull a notebook out from under the edge of the mattress, “I write a lot these days. Since… since I didn’t have anything else to do. You should- if you ever get stressed out… you should write too, Hyung. It’s been helping- well, I don’t know if it’s the medicine too, but I- I can think clearer.”

“What do you write about?” Yifan asked gently.

Baekhyun smiled and ran his thumb over the corner of the yellowed pages, “I write about all of us… about Taehyung tripping over the stairs the other day. About Luhan and Sehun… Sunmi… you and Yixing… sad things too, but they’re still memories, it’s still nice to remember.”

“Why would you want to remember sad things?” Yifan wondered.

“Because one day… those people might not be here anymore- I might not, we all might not. The sad memories… they’ll turn into good ones, and they can keep going on, without us.” Baekhyun explained under his breath. “You should… you should keep it, I filled it up anyways, I asked Sehun to get me a new one.”

Yifan smiled fondly at him, pulling the notebook into his lap and opening it up, skimming the pages.

Baekhyun's handwriting was a bit wild, probably from underuse, but there was something so… charming about his writing and his misspelling of words, the scribbles when he messed up.

“I don’t cry over it anymore, if you were wondering.” Baekhyun whispered suddenly, leaning closer onto his elbows, Yifan could see the reddish tint to his eyes.

Everyone had found Baekhyun a beautiful person, and he could definitely understand why Yixing wanted to protect him so badly, to care for him like he was his own child.

Baekhyun wasn’t a child, he knew that- Yixing knew that. He just looked so young, so cute, but then you would meet his eyes and you could just see the suffering, the years of horror. Yifan didn’t need to know what he and Yixing talked about to see it.

“I cry… when I feel useless, see the pain I caused... or when I have a nightmare- but not about… him.” Baekhyun rapped his thin fingers over the edge of the blanket and Yifan found himself too interested in Baekhyun's words to look away. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want him dead, that doesn’t mean I don’t- I don’t notice everyone else crying over me. I hear my soulmates every night… I caught Yixing and Minseok talking before. They don’t need to be so worried.”

“We cry because we love you.” Yifan said under his breath, “And you cry because you love us, because you feel guilty for something I could never- we could never even pretend to understand. I won’t sit here and tell you I can relate to your pain, give you some sob story about how much hurt I have experienced. But that would be bullshit because nothing… nothing I can tell you will make you feel better, and that’s a fact.”

Baekhyun laughed and nodded, “I like that better than saying you’re sorry, I think I’ve heard that more the past few weeks than anything else.”

Yifan shook his head with a chuckle, “It’s pointless. You know it, I know it- your soulmates know it. But… they say it because they don’t know what else to tell you- I don’t either.”

“I know.” Baekhyun reached up and rubbed his eyes, Yifan thought it made him look even more like a child, he was so small- always wore clothes many sizes too big, and always clung to his older soulmates.

He had seen Baekhyun do some crazy shit, jump through windows, jumpstart cars, kill walkers like it didn’t affect him at all- after what he suspected Baekhyun had gone through, maybe it was nothing to him. But he was arguably one of the most useful members despite all of this.

Even now when he was suffering, had been for months, Baekhyun still offered what little he could do to help.

“He held me down, Hyung. He didn’t care at all. He ordered me to say disgusting things, bruised me when I didn’t; he’s a pathetic excuse for a person. I want him dead before he can ever do what he did to me and Jongin to someone else ever again. There is no forgiveness from me. I don’t forgive people- they don’t change- even if you give them chances.”

Yifan sucked in a breath and looked at Baekhyun as if he was going to cry any second. He didn’t, Baekhyun only pulled the flower off the blanket where Yifan put it and set it beside his bowl of- now cold- food.

“Then there is no forgiveness from me either.” The leader vowed, “Now give me a hug.”

Baekhyun laughed and wrapped his arms around Yifans neck. “I’m not going to freak out you know, or cry.”

“Yeah.” Yifan laughed against his shoulder, “But Hyung might, so humor me, sweetheart.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baekhyun is good with words, right?
> 
> What do you think about Yifan? I tried to model him after Rick (If you’ve watched TWD) but I always liked the moments where Rick was more emotional and really showed how much he cared and loved his group.


	25. Superheroes & Villains

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who is good?

Sehun snorted, ruffling Taeyongs hair, “I don’t think even superheroes could deal with this, my man.”

“Then we’re the superheroes, right?” Taeyong wondered from his spot on the floor of the northern watchtower, a comic spread over his lap.

Sehun continued looking out into the treeline as he hummed and thought about Taeyongs words, “I get to be Superman then, you can be like… Green Lantern.”

“Ugh.” The youngest scoffed and flared through his hair, “He’s the fucking lamest one- if anything I’ll be… I’ll be Deadpool!”

“Deadpool is crazy.” Sehun laughed at the offronted tone from the teenager.

“But he’s cool, and he’s really funny.” Taeyong shrugged, “I have the first few releases, Noona said she was going to keep an eye out for me too.”

“Send them my way then, Tae. Luhan likes them too, nothing else to do these days.”

Taeyong nodded in agreement, “Yeah, Min Hyung said we were going to get some seeds for the garden, and then maybe some farm animals. Taehyung Hyung said he wants to start looking for more survivors soon.”

“Yeah? What do you think about that? Maybe you can make some more friends.” Sehun peered through his scope at Jongin walking the fence with a pole, killing a few walkers.

“What if they’re not… I don’t know, nevermind.” Taeyong mumbled.

Sehun frowned and looked over his shoulder, “No, go ahead, what’s up?”

The youngest had his lips pursed as he stood up, “Just… we’ve- we all went through a lot, we all fight- we can all pull our weight. But… some people are sheltered, you know? Like Jinhyuk was, he couldn't fend for himself, and we don’t need people that can’t… face reality.”

The elder hummed, thinking over his words as he turned to look back out, “You should bring that up to Yifan Hyung later, or Chanyeol Hyung.”

“I’m just a kid, nobody listens to me.” Taeyong said softly.

“You’re not a kid, Taeyong. We all know, but… Some of us have a hard time accepting it. When we were your age… we were running around in arcades and doing stupid shit, not killing.” Sehun explained quietly.

“Not my brother.” Taeyong frowned, almost confused sounding. “He was changing my diapers when he was my age… my dad sure as hell never did.”

The elder furrowed his brows without turning to look at Taeyong, “Baekhyun is a good person, you’re lucky to have him as a brother, Taeyong. Even if you disagree with him sometimes. I’m not… I’m not trying to tell you what to do, and I’m not scolding you, but you should go easier on him.”

“I just get… so mad.” Taeyong sighed, “I want to go out there and defend too, I don’t know what happened- nobody will tell me, but I know it was bad, and I know that… I should protect my Hyung.”

Sehun smiled softly and motioned for him to look through the sniper, “That’s what you're doing right now, you don’t need to be in a fight to protect him. He’s right inside this building.. and you’re defending it, and him. You saved him from a lot of walkers with that aim of yours too.”

Taeyong didn’t respond, but Sehun thought his jaw tightened up in determination as he scanned the yard.

The kid was a handful, Sehun realized he would be, but he reminded him a bit of himself despite the huge range of different circumstances they faced.

But, the main issue that puzzled everyone with Taeyong was whether he would turn out okay. He was smart, especially for a kid that had no professional schooling since the world ended about two or more years ago, but he didn’t get the same social experiences they had all gotten.

He didn’t have much to watch and learn from other than how to kill or how to survive. They tried to give him good examples, but it was difficult.

The best they could do was try and explain to him what a good person or a moral person would do, but telling and doing are different things entirely.

“Hyung, someone is in the yard.”

“What?” Sehun whispered, pulling the gun from his hands and peering through. “Holy shit.” He whispered.

“Get Yifan Hyung and the others.”

~~~~~~~~

Kyungsoo glared through the fence, watching the familiar figure run over, something held to her chest. She weaved through walkers urgently.

“Open the gate!” She screamed.

“Are you alone!” He yelled, running towards the bent up metal gate on the outter fence.

“Open it!”

Kyungsoo pointed his gun at her, eyes shaking as he tried to decide whether to let her in without anyone else’s approval.

“Are you alone!” He repeated.

Chaeyoung looked at him in shock, “Open it! I have Jisung!”

Kyungsoo gawked and quickly opened the gate, shooting a walker that got too close for comfort.

“Hands up!” Junmyeon yelled as the others ran outside, “Turn around, hands up!”

Chaeyoung looked in absolute disbelief as everyone pointed guns at her, “It’s me! I’m not- it’s Jisung, here.”

“What? What about everyone else?” Sunmi was the first to lower her gun, grabbing the baby carefully. “How the fuck did you get all the way here with a… a two year old?”

“You have any weapons on you?” Yifan ordered, walking behind Chaeyoung and checking her pockets.

“No… No, Yifan-“

“Good, welcome back.” The leader said without emotion, grabbing her arm and pulling her towards the cell block, “Get walking.”

~~~~~~~~

Baekhyun was almost asleep when he heard the cell block door slam open and got up curiously. He walked down the hallway and found himself frozen with the sight of Yifan roughly pushing Chaeyoung towards a seat.

It had been a good few months, almost a year since he had last seen her, and he wanted to hit her.

“Wow.” Chaeyoung whispered as she looked around, “You guys all live here?”

Nobody answered her and Baekhyun watched her look around the room. “Taeyong? You look so handsome.” Chaeyoung smiled at him and didn’t seem to care about the glares she was getting.

Just as Baekhyun locked eyes with her, Junmyeon was blocking her view with crossed arms, “Why did you bring us Jisung?”

“Jisung?” Baekhyun asked under his breath.

“Hyuna and… Hyojong… they would have wanted him to be with you guys.” She said quietly. “They didn’t… we ran out of food after a while… they didn’t make it. Hyuna got sick, Hyojong was bitten, Hoseok, Namjoon, and Seokjin too, we tried to follow your guys signs but we got led to Woodbury instead, it’s safe for everyone there. Mark and Lucas love it.”

Baekhyun scoffed in disbelief, his footsteps loud in the silence as he walked over to Sunmi, picking Jisung up.

Jisung was always a quiet baby, but Baekhyun thought he grew beautifully, his pretty white teeth beaming on show as he set him on his hip. “Hi!”

“Hi, sweetheart. Do you remember Hyung?” Baekhyun cooed softly, ignoring the silence as he walked towards the cells.

“Yes!” Jisung chirped, “Came par!”

“Yes, you came very far to see us, hm? Let’s take a nap.” Baekhyun smiled and pressed a kiss to the baby's tiny palm and stepped up the stairs until he was out of the tension.

“You guys sleep in the cells?” Chaeyoung looked so excited, and if they could stand to look at her as a friend again then they would have been happy to see her personality had adapted. She was stronger now. “Well, can I go in?”

Jongin jumped to block the cell door immediately, “We won't allow that.”

“I'm not an enemy, guys. I just want to talk to Baekhyun.” She frowned and looked at them confused.

“We had that field and courtyard until your boyfriend tore down the fence with a truck and shot us up.” Yifan commented, a warning in his tone, “And Baekhyun… he won’t want to talk to you.”

“He said you fired first.” Chaeyoung shot back, folding her arms.

Yixing scoffed, “Well, he's lying. He tortured Jongin and Baekhyun, almost killed Baekhyun a second time in his walker attack.”

“I didn't know anything about that. As soon as I found out, I came. I didn't even know you were in Woodbury until after the shoot-out and I saw Sehun.” Chaeyoung said immediately. “Look, I cannot excuse or explain what he has done. But I am here trying to bring us together. We have to work this out.”

“I can’t listen to this bullshit.” Jongin hissed, turning to walk up the stairs.

“There's nothing to work out. We're gonna kill him. I don't know how or when, but we will.” Chanyeol said firmly, “There’s nothing you can say or do to make us change our minds. He could come crawling on his knees and every single one of us would send a bullet into his head, do you get me?” The man stepped up to her with every word until Yifan grabbed his arm.

“We can settle this.” Chaeyoung looked up at him as if he was unrecognizable. “There is room at Woodbury for all of you.”

“You only say that because you’re fucking him.” Kyungsoo spat, laying his rifle on the table, “Ask him what he does in his spare time, I can assure you it ain’t checkers.” He growled, spinning to follow Jongin.

Yifan sighed and let go of Chanyeol, rubbing his temple, “You know better than that. What makes you think this man wants to negotiate? Why did you come here?”

“Because he's gearing up for war. The people are terrified. They see you as killers. They're training to attack.” The woman said quietly, taking a seat in the metal bench and wrapping her arms around herself, she was alone, and she knew it.

Minseok scoffed, tapping his hand on the doorway. “I'll tell you what. Next time you see him, you tell him I'm gonna take his eye out.”

“We've taken too much shit. He wants a war? He's got one.” Chanyeol muttered, pulling off his vest and then reaching over to put his arm around Taeyong.

Chaeyoung eyed the teenager, looking at his blank face, remembering how cheerful and outgoing he used to be, like her children. Something had changed.

She then turned to look up at Chanyeol, “If you don't sit down and try to work this out, I don't know what's gonna happen. He has a whole town. Look at you. You've lost so much already. You can't stand alone anymore.”

“You don’t get to say that to him.” Luhan growled, “I don’t know you lady, but there’s not shit you can say to him- to any of us to make us change our minds. You want to make this right, get us inside.”

“No.” She replied immediately.

“Then we got nothing to talk about.” Sunmi said uninterestedly, turning to walk into her cell block.

Everyone followed her example, and Chaeyoung could only sigh and take the time to explore.

~~~~~~~

“He looks like Hyuna, doesn’t he?” Kyungsoo asked softly, brushing Jisungs hair back from where he laid, snoring softly in the middle of a mattress.

“I’m tired of losing people.” Baekhyun sighed, running his finger down the baby's nose softly.

Chanyeol hummed from the soft desk chair they had wheeled into the room a few days prior from one of the offices, “Agreed, love.”

“Did she leave yet?” The youngest asked quietly, “She just came to drop off the baby and try to give us false truths.”

“She is here still, and to her it is the truth, she doesn’t know who that man really is.” Jongin replied, “I’m not defending, she’s known for months we’ve been here and only now came, but she genuinely wants us to all be safe. I feel like she knows something is up… she just ignores it.”

“I’m not… I don’t hate her. I don’t feel anything for her anymore. She’s… she's fucking him, that’s why she’s ignorant.” Baekhyun spat in a whisper.

“Do you want her to know?” Kyungsoo asked, “If you want it I’ll go spill just who he really is, maybe she’d see him for he really was.”

“No, she would deny it.” Jongin said immediately, “Trying to tell someone that their… whatever the fuck they are... is a rapist, people still fucking denied that shit before the end of the world.”

“I just don’t want to see her, I won’t talk to her.” Baekhyun replied, “I don’t… I can’t look at her and not feel guilty even though I didn’t.. we didn’t ask for this. We just wanted some fucking medicine.”

“We know.” Chanyeol snapped his head up at Baekhyun's tone, “We love you, nobody asked for this. Come here, sweetheart.”

Baekhyun smiled softly and stood up, walking over to straddle Chanyeol's lap, “Love you guys too.”

The eldest smiled adoringly and pressed gentle kisses to Baekhyun's mouth, his fingertips lingering on the soft skin of Baekhyun's jaw.

“Oh, good morning, baby!” Baekhyun laughed into Chanyeol's mouth at Jongin's baby talking voice.

“Sheep…” Baekhyun smiled and turned to sit sideways on Chanyeol's lap to watch Jongin pull Jisung to his feet.

“I know, you took a good nap. Do you remember Hyungs?” Kyungsoo cooed softly, laughing as Jisung grabbed onto his finger and jumped with both legs only an inch closer to Jongin.

“ ‘member!” Jisung giggled.

He probably didn’t remember any of them, it was almost a year ago they had last seen him, but Jisung was still cute, overwhelmingly so.

The sight of something so innocent, it made Baekhyun happy. It gave him the same feeling Taeyong used to give him, before he had a gun, before he thought he was way older than he was. Jisung was pure, something Taeyong used to be and Baekhyun wished he could have kept.

“Jump!”

Baekhyun beamed and climbed off Chanyeol's lap to kneel beside the mattress, “You want to play? You can probably jump super high!”

Jisung ooed and nodded, letting go of Kyungsoo's finger. “High!” He giggled, reaching his arms out and simply falling forward into Baekhyun's chest.

“Wow! Super high, are you okay? That was really far!” Baekhyun faked worry, pulling on Jisungs shirt and fake checking him for any injury.

“Otay!” Jisung laughed, “I otay!”

Baekhyun heard the others snorting and stood Jisung up on the bed again, putting his arms out, “Again! Big jump!”

Jisung could play this game all day.

~~~~~~~

Chaeyoung was eating the bowl of white rice that Yixing had served her silently, watching Baekhyun walk by, handing Taeyong a bowl before grabbing a second, his other hand pressing to Jisungs hair as the baby clung to his leg with a granola bar in his hand.

“Don’t even think about it.” Taehyung spoke up, taking a seat directly where Chaeyoung was looking, “His soulmates will be on you so quick.”

“They’re more hostile than I remember.” She looked at the unfamiliar man before looking at Yixing.

“Given recent circumstances it’s to be expected really.” Yifan commented, seating himself beside Chaeyoung almost like a precaution.

“Hyung, the baby is going to need clothes.” Taeyong stood at the end of the table making the adults look at him.

Yifan smiled and patted his arm, “I know. We’ll go out and get some tomorrow, you go ask your brother if you can go, tell him we’ll only go within twenty miles.”

Taeyong smiled, looking less angry with a cute grin as he walked over to Baekhyun. Reaching down to pick up Jisung, holding him in one arm like he was an object more than a baby.

Yixing laughed under his breath at Baekhyun's immediate wide eyes and rearranging of Jisung onto Taeyongs side, a soft scolding expression even though they couldn’t hear what he was saying.

“Taeyong seems different.” Chaeyoung added, “Mark and Lucas would love to see him.”

“Taeyong hasn’t been sheltered.” Yixing defended, “Who knows if they’d get along anymore, everyone has changed.”

“Yeah.” Chaeyoung stared at him, “I can see that. As a mother I don’t think sheltering is a bad thing, it keeps them from becoming… hateful.”

“I certainly hope you’re not trying to tell us how to watch over Taeyong, might want to be careful, Kyungsoo Hyung just walked in.” Taehyung drawled, grabbing his bowl and moving to a different table with a disgusted expression.

Chaeyoung frowned and watched Kyungsoo press’s soft kiss to Baekhyun's mouth before he looked intently down at Taeyong as Baekhyun explained something to him.

“I wasn’t, I was just stating my opinion.” She said softly.

“Yeah, well, our opinions are different, Taeyong knows how to live, he can survive because he wasn’t sheltered. Whatever ideas you have about us… we still care about our family, he’s safer because he’s aware.” Yifan said like he was explaining himself.

“Hyung said yes!” Taeyong smiled like it had made his day as he carried Jisung over with him, “I told Hyung I wanted to get Ji stuff and him and Soo Hyung said yes!”

“Good, I’ll need your help, Tae.” Yifan laughed and watched Yixing wipe Jisungs cheek with his sleeve, “Go ask if Zitao wants to go too, bug.”

Taeyong nodded and pulled Jisung more into his side, “Ji, don’t move so much!” He whined, making the baby laugh high pitched as he wiggled while Taeyong walked up to Zitao.

“What happened to Baekhyun and Jongin?” Chaeyoung said quietly, looking over Yixings shoulder.

“I don’t know that you deserve to know that.” Jongin said from behind Chaeyoung, no real heat to his tone, but somehow his expression made her somewhat regret asking.

“I have no idea, Jongin. I swear on my life that I have no idea what has happened between all of you guys and Woodbury.”

Jongin looked at her for a solid thirty seconds before laughing, sliding in beside Yixing, “It’s not what happened, it’s what they did to us, we didn’t do shit.”

Chaeyoung opened her mouth to reply but Yifan elbowed her softly, a silent warning.

“We needed medicine.” Jongin began, “And everything was going so well here… we were content.” He shook his head and licked his lips, “All we did was go on a fucking run, only a few miles away and this son of a bitch came and kidnapped us at gunpoint. Your… boyfriend had him beat me to a pulp, wanting our location, hours I was pummeled, Chaeyoung. I came out of there unrecognizable.”

“So, of course we went after them.” Yifan added, “That's why we started the shoot out- but they started it first- we didn’t do anything to them.”

“If you didn’t… tell them your location then how did they know?” Chaeyoung searched.

“I never said I didn’t tell them.” Jongin said immediately, “I didn’t say I didn’t tell them.”

“So… Baekhyun-“

“We’re not telling you about that.” Yixing shut her up quickly, “It was cruel, and it was unforgiving, that’s all you need to know. Baekhyun… he wasn’t the same, nobody has been the same, we cannot trust anyone. We can’t… you used to be family, but we don’t know if we could even trust you.”

Baekhyun's laughter was loud as they looked over and Sehun had him thrown over his shoulder like a rag doll, “Sehun!” He cried, hitting his (practically) brother in laws back, “You shit, put me down!”

“Our Hyung is so little!” Sehun teased, “I told you I would do it, Tae!” He added, making Taeyong laugh as he stood Jisung on a table.

“Make yourself useful and bring him here then!” Chanyeol ordered, turning around to look over his seat beside Junmyeon and putting his arms out, “Finally you give me something I want, Sehun.” He joked, pulling Baekhyun into his lap, smiling at his soulmates pout and pink face.

“I’m trustworthy.” Chaeyoung argued, “Why the hell would I be coming here if I didn’t care about everyone here, I’m not trying to see anyone die.”

“It’s us or them, you don’t get to save all of us.” Yifan said realistically, “This is life or death now, either way… your boyfriend… he’s dead.”

“You can’t just decide someone’s death so thoughtlessly.” She frowned.

“He did that to us.” Jongin snarled, “He had us ready to execute- like animals. He went and- I can live with what he did to me, getting beat is nothing compared to what he did to Baekhyun. That’s my goddamn life, he’s my fucking life right there, I would think you would understand, given that you lost your soulmate.”

“He died before all of this, Jongin.” Chaeyoung whispered, “It’s been ten years since then, I’m sorry but… I-“

“Then I guess you really can’t relate then.” Jongin interrupted without care, “Just think of the worst pain you’ve ever felt times ten, because it took us weeks- no- it’s still in progress, we’re putting him back together because of what that man did, and it’s been a fucking rollercoaster, and it’s nobody’s fault but that man you’ve been sleeping with- I can’t even- fuck, I hope you feel like absolute shit when you find out.” He spat, standing up and tossing his spoon onto the metal table loudly.

Yixing sighed and reached across the table to grab Chaeyoung’s hand, gaining her shocked attention. “The Governor, you need to do something. You need to sleep with him. Give him the greatest night of his life. You get him to drop his guard. Then when he's sleeping, you can end this.”

Chaeyoung looked at the medic with a shake of her head, “No… I can’t, he’s really not a bad-“

“Then it’s time for you to go.” Yifan cut in, digging into his pocket and pulling out a set of keys, laying them on the metal table. “I’ll walk you out, I had Taehyung bring a car around.”

Chaeyoung had the nerve to look at the leader like she was the one near tears as he passed her a gun, “Be careful, walkers are bad at night, just avoid the highway.”

“Can you spare it?” She mumbled, following Yifan out the door and looking at the old Toyota.

“Yeah.” Yifan opened the driver door for her and looked debating as he leaned in through the window. “And Chaeyoung.”

“Yeah?” She sighed, buckling up.

“Baekhyun… he stood up for you once.” Yifan threw out, “Just think about that.”

“He did it because he’s kind.” Chaeyoung argued.

“No.” The leader shook his head, “He did it because he didn’t want to see his family get hurt, I’ll go open the gates for you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jisung is back... aren’t you sad to learn so many people died? But wasn’t it a bit expected?


	26. Softness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff and smut!

“I’m going to go out tomorrow, search for some more guns.” Yifan commented, tapping his hand on the metal table and looking around, “We have enough weaponry… and I think I have a plan, but we’ll need to be prepared for an invasion to happen any time.”

“Taeyong said you were going for baby clothes.” Kyungsoo pointed out, “I should’ve figured it was also something like this.”

“We are going to get baby clothes, but we’re going to just keep an eye out for anything.” Yifan admitted, “Does it really matter what we’re going for? We’re only going a few miles out, you know I’d never take Taeyong anywhere I wasn’t sure if he would make it out of.”

Kyungsoo nodded, a small smile playing at his lips as he heard Baekhyun cooing down the cell block, “We know, we trust you.”

“So what’s this plan?” Luhan wondered, hand intertwined with Sehun’s on the table.

“The only reason they got us last time was because they caught us off guard, right? So we don’t necessarily need to do anything more than scare them.”

“That’s true.” Zitao agreed, looking slightly impressed, “Most of his army is going to be civilians, only a handful were actually from outside the walls, they’ll already be terrified- a little push and they wouldn’t ever want to come back.”

“Exactly.” Yifan agreed, “I have a plan, until I can get it figured out let’s just work on the wall for now.”

“What about Chaeyoung?” Minseok sighed, leaning against Jongin's arm tiredly, “She said she wanted to schedule a meeting, she had a place and everything.”

“Let’s meet him, then.” Chanyeol said aggressively, “I’ll shoot him right in the head- over and done with.”

“No, you wouldn’t go.” Junmyeon called out, “We’re honorable, we’re not monsters like them, if they say it’s a peaceful meeting then we go peacefully, here him out and come back here with our plan still in tact- there’s no way Chaeyoung could convince any of us anything.”

“I’d have to go.” Jongin frowned, “Hyung, I’d have to go.”

“Okay, lets not get ahead of ourselves.” Yifan shook his head, “We’ll see about it when we need to.”

Baekhyun's soft singing made the men look at the doorway, watching him walk down towards the shelves with Jisung swaddled in a blanket.

It was a reassuring sight, to not only see Baekhyun out of his room for more than a few minutes, and to see him look genuinely calm.

“Tae?” Jisung asked quietly.

Baekhyun laughed and shook his head, carefully holding Jisungs back to his chest as he grabbed a bottle of water off the shelf, “No, it’s bedtime, you can see Tae tomorrow, he said he was going to teach you numbers, remember?”

“One… two…” The baby replied, head in the crook of Baekhyun's neck, eyes closed.

“That’s right baby, one two, we know you’re so smart.” Baekhyun said under his breath, smiling at the table as he walked over. “You don’t want to sleep for me, do you want to sleep for someone else?”

Jisung huffed like he was upset as Baekhyun sat down, “No sheep.”

“Yes sleep.” Kyungsoo cooed softly, looking over Baekhyun's shoulder at Jisungs tired eyes as Baekhyun took a drink, other hand patting Jisungs butt softly. “Hyung wants to sleep, Jisung should sleep too.”

The baby frowned as Kyungsoo ran a thumb over his forehead making him involuntarily close his eyes, Jisung made a quiet whine and turned his head to hide in Baekhyun's neck.

“I can’t believe she just dropped a baby off here, knowing we were in a whole lot of shit.” Luhan commented.

“His parents were good friends of ours.” Minseok explained, “They were amazing people, they would have wanted Jisung with us too, they only stayed back at our old camp because it was winter, and Jisung was so young- he was vulnerable to sickness. Now… I wish we would have convinced them otherwise.”

“We can’t think like that, Min.” Junmyeon whispered, throwing his arm around his soulmate, “Jisung is enough, let’s be grateful we get to see him again.”

“Taeyong told me the other day that you raised him, Hyung.” Sehun said gently, “That’s probably why Jisung likes you so much, huh?”

Baekhyun laughed with glittering eyes, Jisung’s soft snoring into his neck as he continued patting the babys bottom comfortingly, “Taeyong was so cute. Back then, he was so… sweet, I loved him immediately.”

“Tae is still cute and sweet.” Baekhyun didn’t know why, but Yixing’s words felt like a compliment to him too.

“The world… it might have fucked up a lot for us.” Baekhyun smiled, “But Taeyong never had so many people watching out for him before, so I-I guess I wanted to thank you guys. Those not here included, I really appreciate it, he’s just… he’s only a teenager, but now he can really… live.

When me and him were on our own… It was horrible, he gets worked up quickly and he didn’t understand anything back then. All of you taught him things I couldn’t, because I’m just his brother, you know?

There’s things he doesn’t want to listen to me about, and there’s things I sure as hell don’t want to tell him. I don’t want to tell him the horrible things people can do, or what truly happens, how people are worse than walkers.”

“We love him, Baekhyun.” Junmyeon said with a smile, “That little shit gets under everyone’s skin sometimes, but we love him, and we’d never want anything to happen to him either, you have nothing to thank us for- ever. You’re just as important, you’ve done more for us than even… than I have, and I’m supposed to be a leader. We owe you more than what you ever feel like you owe us, okay?”

Baekhyun sniffed and leaned into Chanyeol's side, “I don’t know that you fully understand what this means to me. My life was shit before this, I'd do anything to keep things how they are right now.” He admitted, “I won’t sit here and act like… like I’m suddenly fine- like the assault never happened… but I can live with things as long as I know everyone is safe.”

“Fuck, you’re going to make me cry, why do you always say things so nicely?” Luhan groaned, laying his head down on his crossed arms.

Baekhyun giggled, beaming as Kyungsoo pressed a kiss to his cheek, resting his arm around Baekhyun's back.

“Don’t worry, if he keeps this up we’ll all be crying, worse than Jisung when Taeyong took his snack earlier.” Zitao pointed out with a smirk when everyone laughed.

Baekhyun snorted, smiling at Jongin as he reached out to take Jisung from his chest carefully, “I’ll put him to sleep with Taeyong.” Jongin said softly, holding the baby carefully as he leaned down to press a kiss to Baekhyun's head, “Don’t stay up too late.”

Baekhyun only smiled and accepted Kyungsoo's hand onto his thigh as Jongin walked away.

“He’s right.” Yifan chirped, “I’ll go switch Sunmi on watch.”

“No.” Kyungsoo said softly, “I’ll do it, get some sleep, you’ll be out tomorrow.”

Yifan stared at him for a moment before nodding, “Okay, i'll see everyone in the morning, everyone else get to bed.”

Baekhyun watched everyone get up tiredly, splitting off to go to their cells or makeshift rooms before deciding to get up.

“I’ll see you in the morning, baby.” Kyungsoo whispered, pulling Baekhyun's hips into his, “Good night.”

The younger pressed a soft kiss to Kyungsoo's lips before shaking his head, “I want to go with you, I’ll sleep up there with you.”

“It’s cold.” Kyungsoo argued.

“You’ll keep me warm then.”

Kyungsoo's ears reddened as he laughed and pressed his hand to Baekhyun's lower back, “Okay, say goodnight to Yeol then.”

Baekhyun laughed before jumping up to Chanyeol, getting hands under his thighs immediately, Chanyeol picking him up as he did often. “You don’t want to sleep with me, moon, I’m offended.” Chanyeol faked a pout.

The younger laughed, pressing a few chaste kisses to Chanyeol's mouth, running his fingertips across the stubble on his soulmates jaw. “Love you, Chanyeollie. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Chanyeol smiled sweetly, pressing a quick kiss to Baekhyun's brow and then his mouth, “Goodnight, my love. I’ll come bug you bright and early.”

“I’m counting on it!” Baekhyun tittered, intertwining his hand with Kyungsoo's as he was set down, “Tell Jongin the same I’ve told you.”

Chanyeol faked a disgusted look, “Ew, tell him yourself! He’ll probably hit me!”

Baekhyun only laughed into Kyungsoo's arm as the elder began pulling him towards the door.

Baekhyun didn’t go out to the watchtowers that much. He wasn’t overly fond of the many stairs you had to climb up to get to it, not like Taeyong was.

But it was still so pretty out, once he got to the top he could see everything, the trees were beautiful along with the stars.

“Finally.” Sunmi faked exasperation, “They’re not going to attack us at night, not with all those walkers groaning blindly at crickets at night.”

Kyungsoo snorted, accepting the sniper with a laugh, “Agreed, have a good night.”

“You too.” She yawned, patting Baekhyun's cheek making him pout at the childish touch.

“So.” Kyungsoo commented, setting the rifle on the ground beside the makeshift bed on the ground and leaning against the short metal cart filled with random items. “You going to tell me why you wanted to come? You hate climbing all the way up here.”

Baekhyun flushed and sat cross legged on the thin bed, eyeing the metal cart. Feeling Kyungsoo watching him, the perfect lighting with the lantern dangling in the middle of the roof. “Because I love you.”

“And I love you, but I’m not buying it.” The elder laughed.

It only made Baekhyun pout with red cheeks as he glared up at him, “Hear me out, okay?”

“Okay, sugar, hit me with it.” Kyungsoo replied with a smirk, turning to look through the small square window, the only area that opened up in the circle of bulletproof glass wrapping the upper ⅓ of the tower.

“I feel really good today.” Baekhyun began, “It’s been a good day.”

“I’m really happy to hear that, beautiful. Really, it makes us very happy.” Kyungsoo said softly, turning back around to look at him.

Baekhyun nodded, chewing his lip as he looked up at Kyungsoo. “I… I want you to make love to me.” He blurted, “Wait… wait, let me explain before you talk me out of it.” He added when Kyungsoo made a worried face of disagreement.

“I don’t want to remember sex as painful.” Baekhyun muttered, “And that’s all it’s ever been… for me. I don’t.. I don’t want the last memory I can remember be… like how it was, Hyung. I love you guys, I want you to treat me.. right, I want you to love me.”

“Baby.” Kyungsoo whispered, kneeling down and reaching for Baekhyun's cheek, “We do love you, you don’t need to have sex with us just for us to love you. We already do, we already think everything is amazing about you, nothing can ever change that, okay?”

“Okay.” Baekhyun mumbled, cupping the back of Kyungsoo's neck, “But I still want you to make love to me, Hyung.”

Kyungsoo sighed as Baekhyun pressed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, “We don’t have the supplies, Baekhyun. Even if I wanted to- and I do, you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen- I can’t because I don’t want to hurt you, i'd never hurt you.”

“Yes we do.” Baekhyun whispered against his cheek, “I asked Yixing… he uh- he gave me things…” He licked his lips in embarrassment and turned to pull the bottom drawer of the metal cart, digging through it.

“Why me?” Kyungsoo said softly, running his hands over Baekhyun's covered legs, “Just because I took watch? I don’t care about the reason, I’m just curious.”

“Partly.” Baekhyun answered truthfully, “It doesn’t really matter to me who… because I trust and love the three of you, but I think- I think it’s good it was you, because… you’re very level headed. Chanyeol would probably tell me straight up no, and Jongin might have cried at just me asking.”

“What makes you confident I wouldn’t do either of those?”

Baekhyun giggled softly and pulled the condom and unopened bottle of lube into his lap as he opened it, “Because you can’t tell me no, and you only cry when I’m crying.”

Kyungsoo chuckled at the cockiness of his statement, “You’re too confident these days, I fucking love it, come here.” He purred, pulling Baekhyun's ankle and making him laugh, laying flat on the thin mattress, the bottle of lube and condom falling to his side as Kyungsoo carefully framed himself over the top of Baekhyun.

“I really want you, Hyung.” Baekhyun whispered against Kyungsoo's mouth, his fingers feeling in between their chests to pull the end of his soulmates shirt.

Kyungsoo's eyes softened as he combed his fingers through Baekhyun's hair, “I’ll take care of you, Baekhyun. You tell me if you’re afraid, and you look at me, just at me.”

“Just at you.” Baekhyun replied, pressing his lips to Kyungsoo's mouth before he watched the elder sit back, pulling off his shirt.

Baekhyun still had half a mind to wonder how his soulmates were so gorgeous, but everyone said they were paired beautifully, that Baekhyun with each of them were a beautiful couple, and it made him feel a lot better.

Kyungsoo smiled endearingly as he pulled off Baekhyun's shirt, watching carefully as he pulled off his soulmates jeans before removing his own.

“Hyung, I want you to kiss me.” The younger whispered, a pretty blush already working down his thin chest.

Kyungsoo laughed before leaning down to press kisses down Baekhyun's chest, “What about this? Do you like these kisses too?”

“It’s nice.” Baekhyun sighed as Kyungsoo moved his thigh, spreading his legs, his boxers rubbing against his soulmates.

The elder smiled against his chest before gently sucking on Baekhyun's sensitive nipple, making the younger make a surprised noise, hand moving to cup Kyungsoo's hair.

“Hyung… you’re already…” Baekhyun mumbled, his hand reaching down to grab Kyungsoo's waistband.

“Of course I am.” Kyungsoo laughed at the shock on Baekhyun's face, “I told you, I tell you everyday, you’re the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen. Absolutely gorgeous.”

The younger sighed contently, “I like you to tell me nice things.”

“We only tell you nice things, honey. Now I’m going to take off your boxers, okay?”

“I don’t need a step by step.” Baekhyun pouted, “I want you to… fingers, like all those months ago.”

Kyungsoo groaned, immediately pulling his soulmates boxers away, reaching over him to grab the lube.

“You too.” Baekhyun interrupted, “Hyung, want you naked too.”

“Fuck, keep talking, I love it.” The elder moaned, using his dry hand to pull off his boxers, before ignoring his own erection and wrapping his lubed hand around Baekhyun's, it wasn’t as hard as his yet, but he was slowly getting there.

“Ah, Hyung!” Baekhyun whined at the sudden contact, bucking his hips up, “H-Hyung- Hyung!”

Kyungsoo only beamed at the response, leaning over to press soft kisses to the protruding muscle of Baekhyun's thigh, “You can be as loud as you want, sweetheart.” He cooed, running his thumb over the vein in Baekhyun's light pink cock, “I want to make sure you feel good.”

Baekhyun gasped, “G-Good, it’s good! Hyung, want you to hurry up.”

“Aish, I want to love on you and you’re so impatient, baby.” Kyungsoo teased, truthfully just as impatient as the younger, “I guess that’s okay, bend your knees, like this.” He requested, pressing Baekhyun's heels to the back of his legs, keeping his legs spread for him.

“God, you’re so beautiful, everywhere.” He added, running his wet finger along the inner part of Baekhyun's thigh to his ass.

Baekhyun involuntarily stiffened at the feeling before sitting up on his elbows to look at Kyungsoo carefully. “I’m okay.” He assured, “I’m looking at you, always.”

“That's right, baby.” Kyungsoo said full of adoration as he pressed his mouth to Baekhyun's inner thigh, “I’m right here.” He purred, his finger gently entering the younger.

He heard Baekhyun's gasp at the intrusion and smiled into his leg, pressing soft kisses into his inner thigh, over the disgusting scars. He took the thin flesh between his lips and sucked softly as his finger worked its way into the younger.

Baekhyun moaned at the feeling of getting a love mark, he probably hadn’t ever gotten one before, and Kyungsoo would gladly give him as many as he wanted.

“H-Soo, Soo, more.”

Kyungsoo hummed, vibrating over the dark colored mark he made as he looked up at Baekhyun, adding another finger only to see how the younger rolled back onto it.

“Tell me, sweetheart. This feels good? I like to hear that pretty voice.” Kyungsoo smiled, partially teasing as Baekhyun was busy huffing out breaths.

“Hyung, yes.” Baekhyun moaned, fingers curling into the blanket beneath him, “Hu-Soo.”

The elder grinned fondly, let out a small groan as the tip of his erection brushed the blanket, “Fuck, baby, you’re so sexy. Our baby is so handsome.”

Baekhyun's noises became louder at the praises, a high pitched whine coming from his saliva slick lips as he threw his head back. “Hyung- I’m gonna- if you don’t stop now, I’ll cum.”

“Yeah? So soon, love? You love Hyung so much, Baekhyunnie?” Kyungsoo prompted, mainly because he liked to hear Baekhyun confessing to him so much.

The younger made a relieved noise as Kyungsoo pulled away from him, breathing deeply as he looked down at Kyungsoo opening the condom, “Love you so much.”

Kyungsoo smiled, slipping the condom on before looking at Baekhyun, “I love you so much too, my precious soulmate. Now, how do you want-“

“Want to be on top.” Baekhyun said immediately, sitting up, “I want to be on top, Hyung.”

“Of course.” The elder cooed softly, cupping Baekhyun's cheek, “Whatever you want, lovely.”

The younger smiled, pressing his nose to Kyungsoo's in an action much too innocent for their current actions before Baekhyun was moving out of the way, letting Kyungsoo lay down in his spot.

Baekhyun sucked his swollen lips into his mouth as he threw his leg over Kyungsoo's hips, “Am I… this okay?”

“You’re perfect.” Kyungsoo muttered gently, hands holding Baekhyun's hips, “Do you want to do it, or me?”

The younger laid his cheek down on Kyungsoo's chest, seemingly embarrassed. “You.”

“Shh, that’s okay, you don’t need to be embarrassed.” The elder assured, pressing a few kisses to Baekhyun's hair before holding Baekhyun's hips up slightly, leaning over and grabbing his own erection, “You’re okay, right? Let me see those pretty eyes please.”

Baekhyun's cheeks were pretty blushing red as he met Kyungsoo's eyes with a small shy smile playing on his lips, “I’m okay.”

“Okay.” Kyungsoo said softly. He held eye contact with Baekhyun the whole time, gently pushing Baekhyun's hips down, letting him adjust every few seconds, running his thumb over the curve of his hip bone.

The younger gasped, hands gripping Kyungsoo's waist as he sat up, pressing his ass firmly down onto Kyungsoo's hips. “H-Hyung.”

“You feel so nice, pretty.” The elder swooned, a deep moan as he pulled Baekhyun down to his mouth, “So perfect, baby.”

Baekhyun laughed, the movement making him shift, Kyungsoo's erection pressing right into his prostate and he squealed cutely, rocking his hips back as if testing.

His soulmate thought the sight was adorable, his hands moving to hold Baekhyun's ass, gently showing him how to move earning a pleased groan.

“Hyung- it’s good.” Baekhyun moaned, an almost shocked tone that made Kyungsoo lean up, cupping Baekhyun's cheek and pulling him down to rest his chest against his, his tongue searching the youngers.

Kyungsoo pressed his feet flat on the ground before slowly thrusting into his soulmate, hands keeping their spot on Baekhyun's soft skin.

“Ah.” Baekhyun huffed against his mouth, “Ah, Soo.”

“Give Hyung a love bite, baby. Let’s let everyone know that I belong to you, Baekhyunnie.” Kyungsoo requested in a deep sigh, “Yes, babe, love you, my love.” He moaned as Baekhyun attached onto the thin skin beneath his ear, sucking the skin softly, figuring out what to do.

“Want you to be mine.” Baekhyun whispered, wet lips directly below his ear, making him shiver at the sound so close, senses overwhelmed.

“I’m yours, sweetheart. Fuck- always been yours, the others too- nobody’s but yours.” Kyungsoo promised, a sheen building on his skin as he restrained himself from fucking into his soulmate roughly.

He wouldn’t, not if Baekhyun wanted him to be soft. He deserved a good first time, something sweet, nothing but love.

“Hyung, I’m cu-I’m… Kyungsoo!”

Baekhyun was always beautiful, always so cute and seductive without even trying, and he looked like an angel as he squeezed his eyes shut, mouth opened prettily as he released such a melodic moan Kyungsoo found himself overcome too, just at the sight.

“Love you.” The elder began the coddling immediately, without even removing himself from the younger as Baekhyun laid back down on his chest despite the stickiness between them, “My pretty soulmate, you did perfect, how do you feel?”

Baekhyun laughed against his cheek tiredly, “Good, love you.”

“Oh, sweetheart, I love you more. My strong boy.” Kyungsoo cooed, pressing his cheek to the youngers, running his hand along Baekhyun's spine. “You want me to clean you up now?”

“No.” The younger pouted at even the mention, “Like this, want to stay like this a little longer.”

“If that’s what you want, then that’s what you get, because Hyung is so proud of you, baby. I love you so much it’s unreal, Baekhyun.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... thoughts?


	27. After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Preparations.

Of course, the silence could only last until morning.

Baekhyun heard whistling off of the watch tower and rubbed his eyes as he stood up, a blanket wrapped around his shoulders as he squinted through the window, his soulmate still sleeping peacefully.

“Well good morning to you too!” Baekhyun flushed red at Luhans teasing, him, Zitao, and Yifan all loading up a car.

“Look at you, squirrel!” Luhan added with what Baekhyun read as a proud grin.

Baekhyun laughed, pulling his blanket over his naked shoulders, “Be careful!” He yelled out the window.

“We’ll be back in a little!” Yifan called, “Don’t have too much fun!”

The younger flushed, a laugh on his lips as he rolled his eyes at their teasing, watching Taeyong run towards their car, a backpack on his arm. “Shut up! Taeyong, be safe!”

“I will!” The teenager yelled with a smile and a wave, obviously uncaring about the odd state his brother was in.

Baekhyun quickly ducked back in at the sound of footsteps up the stairs towards the watchtower door, a beaming smile as he heard the familiar chatter.

He reached down to fix a blanket over Kyungsoo's chest and instead squealed as the elders eyes shot open, pulling him down onto him.

“Hyung!” He squeaked, loud laughter as Kyungsoo pressed kisses all over his face.

The metal squealed open, “Babe, good mo-“

Baekhyun rolled onto his back, the blanket falling to his hips as he beamed cutely, “Good morning!”

Jongin and Chanyeol looked like they had no idea what to say, or how to process the sight of them.

Both of them very obviously naked beneath the blankets, a few stray love bites sticking out, a very visible one on Baekhyun's pale collarbone and another one below Kyungsoo's ear; Baekhyun's hair waved and wild, the curls separated by fingers.

“God, you’re gorgeous.” Jongin said under his breath, kneeling down with open arms, “Fuck, I might cry.”

Baekhyun shared a laugh with Kyungsoo, a shy smile as he was pulled to Jongin's chest, the warmth of the blanket falling away and making him shiver.

“Baekhyun.” Chanyeol muttered, sitting on the ground and touching his forehead over Jongin's shoulder, “Do you feel okay? Fuck… you’re so… I love you so much.”

The younger giggled, pressing a soft kiss the Jongin's covered shoulder as his youngest soulmate ran gentle palms down his spine. “Good, I feel good.”

Chanyeol looked relieved, and Jongin squeezed him tighter so Baekhyun guessed Jongin was too. “No soreness? I can’t… I’m really proud of you, you know that?”

“Cold, Nini.” Baekhyun whispered, pressing a kiss to his soulmates neck, his nose brushing the soft hair before turning to look at Chanyeol. “Not sore, Soo said I looked pretty though.”

The three snorted, Jongin pulling a blanket from the ground and pulling it around Baekhyun. “Searching for compliments now?”

Baekhyun pouted cutely, “You like to give me them.”

“That’s right, gorgeous. And you do look very pretty, I’m really jealous only because you look so beautiful.” Chanyeol commented with a wide grin, leaning over Jongin's shoulder to press a kiss to his soulmates red mouth.

Kyungsoo began pulling their clothes from the ground, slipping his pajama pants back on, “He did very well, no panic, no issues at all. I’m very, very proud of our baby.”

Baekhyun smiled against Chanyeol's mouth before Jongin turned him around, pulling his blanket covered back to his chest and pressing a gentle kiss to Baekhyun's pulse. “We’re all very proud, Baekhyun. You’re not… You're not cured, and we know that, but it’s a big step, and we’re really happy that you trust us this much.” He murmured, kissing his jaw.

“I always trusted you guys.” Baekhyun replied, hands moving out of the blanket to hold Jongin's knuckles, leaning his head back on his shoulder, “I never didn’t, Hyung.”

“It’s very relieving to hear you say that, sweetheart.” Kyungsoo cooed, leaning over to put Baekhyun's clothes in his lap. “We never would ever mistreat you, we value you so much.”

“I know.” The younger giggled, beaming with the prettiest of boxy smiles, “I feel… really relieved too, um… uh- sex is nice.”

The three laughed adoringly. “It is, doll, but that’s not what we do.” Jongin said with a chuckle, “We’ll only ever make love to you, not have sex with you, because that’s what we do, hm? We love eachother so much.”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun giggled, pressing his forehead to his bent knees in cute embarrassment, “Then… I like it.”

Jongin laughed, pressing a kiss to the top of his spine, “And we like you, now let’s get you dressed.”

“Yeah, I want to snuggle you.” Chanyeol teased, wiggling his brows as Jongin began to get Baekhyun redressed. “Ugh, our love is so sexy, hurry up, I want to hold my baby.”

Kyungsoo snorted, already redressed and clipping his gun holster around his waist, “Don’t act like he’s suddenly so sexy, you had indecent thoughts since we met him.”

Chanyeol gawked, eats reddening, “Hey! Not just me! Don’t act innocent!”

“I’ll admit to it!” Jongin chirped, pulling Baekhyun's shirt over his head before nibbling on his cheek playfully, “Baekhyunnie, so gorgeous, all ours! Of course I wondered!” He laughed into Baekhyun's cheek at the cute giggles coming from the younger.

“Hyung, me too!” Baekhyun tittered, face slightly red from laughing as he threw his sweater covered arms around Jongin's neck, moving to straddle his lap, “My soulmates are so handsome.”

“And?” Chanyeol prompted, swiftly standing up and reaching down for Baekhyun who promptly wrapped himself around the elder, looking ridiculously adorable against the large man.

“And… sexy!” Baekhyun decided, pressing a kiss to Chanyeol's jaw, a nervous smile on his face contrasting his words.

The eldest nodded in agreement, faking a serious expression as Kyungsoo opened the door, amused. “That’s right, baby. Now Hyungs are gonna spoil you all day, I’ll even bribe Taehyung for candy for our soulmate.”

Baekhyun giggled, reaching over to hold Kyungsoo's hand over Chanyeol's shoulder, “Taehyung will give up his candy if you tell him it’s for me.”

“Of course he will.” Jongin said immediately, “Everyone loves our Baekhyunnie- but not more than us, doll.”

~~~~~~~~

“Where are you going, baby?” Chanyeol asked softly, looking up at where Baekhyun was standing up from the table, Jisung still chewing on a piece of dried fruit on his hip.

“I’m gonna take Jisung out to get some sun.” Baekhyun explained, pressing a kiss to Chanyeol's hair before moving to do the same to his other two soulmates, “You guys should come.”

“Huh.” Jongin mused, tickling Jisungs side, “What do you think, boss? You want to play outside?”

Jisung giggled, wiggling a little as he tried to get away from the fingers, “Outsi’ yes!”

“Outside yes!” Jongin mocked, pushing his paper plate away, “Hyungs will go with you!”

Baekhyun smiled, beaming up at Jongin as he stood up and pressed a gentle kiss to the corner of his eye. “We’ll go change, meet you in the yard, don’t get too close to the fence please.” Jongin requested, running his hand over the back of Jisungs hair.

Baekhyun hummed, leaning up for a kiss, “Okay, we’ll be good, Hyung.” He joked, earning himself a pretty grin from his soulmate and a kiss to his mouth.

“Mwah!” Jisung giggled, tilting his cheek towards Jongin for attention.

“Ah, Hyung didn’t forget you, Jisungie!” The man cooed sweetly, pressing a dramatically loud kiss to the baby's cheek, “You stay close to Baekhyun, no running off.” He added, tapping Jisungs nose.

The baby nodded, pretty teeth showing with his grin, “No wun!”

Baekhyun laughed, fixing Jisungs shoe, the Velcro barely holding together anymore.

Hopefully, one of the boys out would think about getting some shoes too, they couldn’t keep carrying Jisung forever even though he was still a baby. Still defenseless and small.

Babies this young were rarely seen these days, so Baekhyun was sure there were plenty of supplies. He was also confident Yifan would grab them all, Taeyong could probably find things he liked too.

“Ow!” Jisung cried with a fake pout making Baekhyun snap out of his thoughts.

“The sun is hurting your eyes? Look, go like this!” Baekhyun instructed, placing Jisungs hand over his brow, blocking the light with little hands, “See, all better!”

“Bettew!” The baby mimicked, already forgetting what he was doing and looking around as Baekhyun walked.

“You faker.” The elder snorted, pressing a kiss to Jisungs hair.

The baby giggled, pressing his hand to Baekhyun's neck, moving his fingers distractedly.

“Min Hyung wants to put in a garden over here.” The elder explained, pointing towards an area where the grass was stripped away. “And then we’re going to get some animals, do you know any animals?”

Jisung made a confused noise as Baekhyun set him on the ground, holding onto the baby’s finger, “Oink!”

“Pigs? You like pigs? We can probably find some pigs.” Baekhyun agreed, taking little steps for the baby to keep up. “What about cows, do you know them?”

The baby hopped with a laugh, using Baekhyun's hand to hold himself up as he jumped over the grass like it was super funny. “No, oink.”

“Cows say Moo!” Baekhyun laughed, “Hyung will find you pictures and you can see, they’re really big, bigger than Hyungs!”

“Woah!” Jisung cooed, watching Baekhyun stop and sit in the grass in front of him, “Hyung, up!”

“Let’s play in the grass.” Baekhyun said softly, ignoring the baby’s request to be held again, “Look, you want to see these?” He added, reaching over and grabbing a small pink flower, “For Jisungie!”

Jisung gasped with a cute squeal, the sound making Baekhyun glance at the fences for a moment out of concern, but the walkers weren’t too bad today, mainly the ones hanging around were those left over from The Governors attack a bit ago.

Baekhyun laughed as the baby grabbed his hand, the flower already squished up in Jisungs other hand. “You want to spin?”

The elder beamed, twirling his hand around and letting the two year old spin under his arm with happy noises. “Pin, pin, pin!” Jisung laughed.

“Spin, spin, spin!” Chanyeol corrected, making Baekhyun smile up at his arrival. “Come here you little shit.”

Jisungs face turned red as Chanyeol tossed him up, squeaking. “ ‘gain!”

Chanyeol laughed, gently tossing the baby and catching him with dramatic noises.

“You’re giving me anxiety, Yeollie.” Baekhyun whined, laying on his back in the grass, “Don’t break the baby, we just got him.”

“We just got him?” Kyungsoo wondered, the quiet crunching of the grass as he and Jongin made their way over, the younger of the two waving at Sehun towards the watchtower. “You make it sound like he’s ours.”

“He’s everyone’s.” Baekhyun answered, leaning up on his elbows, “Everyone will take care of him.”

“What do you think, baby?” Chanyeol murmured, holding Jisung with an arm around his little waist, practically dangling him.

Baekhyun wondered if he was just doing it to make his soulmate pout at him, knowing it was making him worried. But Baekhyun knew the elder would never drop Jisung, Chanyeol had never even dropped him.

“You want to be Hyungs? Hyungs baby, huh?” He added.

“Hyung baby!” Jisung chanted, reaching out for Kyungsoo, feet kicking in the air.

Baekhyun snorted as the baby’s shoe fell off with his excited wiggling, reaching over to grab it. “Looks like Hyung’s baby doesn’t have any shoes!” He chirped, looking at the ruined Velcro strap, it was basically falling off the shoe because it was so stretched out, only a few threads holding it on.

“We wrote a list for Taeyong.” Jongin stated, sitting on the grass and leaning back on his palms, “Shoes, toys, books, Jisung doesn’t really know anything.”

“It’s hard to choose what’s important for him to learn, though.” Chanyeol added, “Since he’s not going to get a variety of education… it’s kind of up to us.”

“We’ll have to have a meeting with everyone to talk about what’s the most important.” Baekhyun sighed, rolling onto his stomach. “He’s only two right now, so just basic things are easy, he’ll learn by seeing. Soo, you were a teacher, what do you think?”

“That makes me bias.” Kyungsoo laughed, holding Jisung, letting the baby touch his face. “I want him to learn the same as what would be taught in daycares; numbers, the alphabet, animals, you know… just normal things…”

“He knows pigs.” Baekhyun's words muffled slightly into his arm, “And I agree with all of those, and even if I don’t like the thought, in a few years he’ll have to be trained to fight. It’s so weird to think about, huh?”

“Let’s not think about it right now.” Jongin said, laying beside Baekhyun, pressing his nose into his hair, “Let’s focus on being safe, hm?”

The younger smiled, turning on his side and draping his arm over Jongin's waist, “I have a selfish thought.”

“What is it, sweetheart?” He replied, pressing his forehead to Baekhyun's.

Baekhyun smiled, eyes flickering around Jongin's features, “I love everyone here, I want what’s best for them… but it’s us first, okay? All of us, Taeyong, Sehun... Jisung, I’m sure everyone thinks the same of their closest family too.”

“Of course.” Chanyeol said immediately, “It’s all of us, together, but if it comes down to it everyone will choose their immediate family and that’s okay, it’s common sense.”

“Okay.” Baekhyun said under his breath, scooting closer to Jongin and pressing his mouth to the others for a second.

Jongin hummed a happy noise, cupping behind Baekhyun's ear and deepening the kiss.

“Ugh, you’re ruthless Jongin. Come on Jisungie, let’s go get you in a bath, hm?” Baekhyun laughed into Jongin's mouth at Kyungsoo's words, no heat to them.

Jongin smirked as Kyungsoo's footsteps walked off, pushing Baekhyun softly onto his back, sucking his lip before licking into his mouth making the younger gasp.

“You know I’m here, right?” Chanyeol muttered enviously, a pout in his tone as he sat beside Baekhyun's head.

“Good for you, you can watch.” Jongin replied, amused as he pulled back only to let Baekhyun breathe.

“Sehun can see us.” The eldest whined.

Jongin snorted, “Don’t care, Baekhyun likes it, right baby?”

Baekhyun nodded, licking his lip before reaching up for Chanyeol's cheek, “Kiss me, Hyung.”

They’d never told Baekhyun no to any attention before.

~~~~~~~

Yifan and the others came back sooner than expected, Baekhyun was in the middle of cooking dinner as they walked in, his large pot of boiling noodles sitting on an induction cooker.

“Hey, welcome back guys.” Taehyung chirped, immediately getting up to help bring in items.

“Hyung.” Baekhyun smiled as he looked down over the edge of the railing to watch Chanyeol immediately walk over to give them hugs. “You guys get lucky?”

Luhan laughed, dropping a packed duffle on the table, turning to throw himself in Sehun's lap, “You guys won’t believe how lucky we got.”

“Yeah?” Junmyeon asked, opening the bag.

“Hyung, we got lots of toys, where is Jisung?” Taeyong smiled, a jerky stick hanging out of his mouth and his backpack looked like it weighed more than him.

Baekhyun leaned over the rail, “He's taking a nap with Yixing Hyung, what’d you find, bug?”

Taeyong beamed, running up the two steps to the cooking area, “Look at all this!” He cried, pulling his backpack off and setting it on the makeshift counter.

It was truly only a few metal tables they had rearranged along with some locked cabinets full of rare items, usually for special occasions, like today.

They had no idea what would be happening next, so when Baekhyun asked, for the first time, if he could make them a special dinner, Junmyeon and Minseok has been extremely excited, giving him the special pantry key immediately.

“I got so many comics, I’ll give these ones to Sehun Hyung.” Taeyong added, sorting his comics into piles.

Baekhyun laughed, draining the boiled water into a metal bowl he had pulled out. “Yeah? You found candy too. Don’t give any to Jisung until he’s had dinner okay?”

“What are you making?” Taeyong wondered, abandoning his pile and walking over to look at what Baekhyun was doing.

“Well, it’s not going to be as good as we used to have, but Hyung is trying his best to make pasta.” Baekhyun answered, throwing his arm around his brothers shoulders, “Stir this for me, okay?” He added, handing over a wooden spoon to Taeyong.

Baekhyun had been truthfully a little shocked at all of the options of foods they had in this cabinet, some of it didn’t really matter too much when you didn’t have the right combinations like they had a bunch of vanilla, maybe Baekhyun could find a dessert to cook that didn’t need an oven since they had a shit ton of flour and vanilla.

“I love your pasta, Hyung!”

The elder laughed, quickly grabbing a package of dehydrated milk, tuna, and flour, “I know, you used to ask me to make it every year. It’s not going to be as good, we don’t have chicken, or cheese.”

“We can get cheese.” Jongin chirped, Baekhyun smiled at him, dropping his things onto a table, “Processed cheese is mostly oil, and we know oil tastes good still.” He explained, shaking the bottle of olive oil Baekhyun was using.

“Okay, smarty pants, open these for me please.” Baekhyun teased, passing over the cans of tuna.

Jongin gasped dramatically before accepting them, pulling out a knife and getting to work.

“Hyung should make sweets.” Taeyong commented, “We haven’t celebrated a single birthday, we should have a group day!”

Baekhyun snorted, grabbing the spoon from him and adding the powdered milk to the hot water, turning to accept the opened tuna, dumping it in the oiled pan, “You just want sweets, bug.”

“He has a point though.” Yifan mused, unpacking what looked like a bunch of random items, bullets, baby clothes, and cans what an odd combination. “We haven’t really celebrated anything. We should, we need to appreciate all the time we have together, while we still have it.”

Baekhyun furrowed his brows, confused, Yifan had something he needed to tell them, he probably would after dinner.

“I’m really good at baking.” Kyungsoo commented, Jisung yawning, attached to his finger as he walked in. “When we have more time, I’ll see what I can put together.”

“We can have a campfire again.” Taeyong laughed, arms full of his comics as he walked down the two steps only to dump his stack next to Chanyeol, looking like he was waiting for the elder to ask him about them.

“That’s all you cared about, huh? You fell asleep everytime.” Minseok teased, snatching one of the comics across the table.

Taeyong only laughed, scooting closer to Chanyeol, “Hyung, look at my comics.”

Baekhyun snickered as Chanyeol tried to act not excited at the attention but failed immediately when Taeyong laid his head on his shoulder and began ranting to him.

“Hello, sweetheart. Nice nap?” Jongin cooed by the stairs, bending down and standing back up with Jisung.

Jisung huffed, rubbing his puffy eyes and laid against Jongin's chest.

“Dinner is almost done, baby. Hyung will make bowls in a second.” Baekhyun said softly, dumping everything together in the huge pot of pasta.

“We found a toddler carrier.” Zitao called, “It might be useful… you know…”

“Smart.” Kyungsoo responded, a quiet sigh in his voice, Baekhyun understood the feeling.

Baekhyun filled the last paper bowl up only a little bit before turning and handing it to Jongin, “It’s hot, Jisung, don’t touch.” He added, grabbing Jisungs fingers, “You let Hyung cool it for you.”

“I’ll bring you a bowl too.” Baekhyun added, pressing his lips to Jongin's cheek, and a second one to Jisungs hair when he saw the slight pout.

Jongin hummed, pressing his own kiss to Baekhyun's temple before walking down the stairs.

“Tae, come get a bowl.” Baekhyun called, “Bring one to Yifan Hyung too.”

“Yixing still sleeping?” Yifan wondered aloud.

Kyungsoo nodded, standing up to help Baekhyun distribute bowls, “Yeah, I saw a medical book beside him, it seemed like he was studying all night or something.”

“He’s been reading up on edible plants and multi useful plants, deciding what to put in the garden.” Minseok explained, smiling at Taeyong for running around and delivering bowls even though Baekhyun had only asked for him to give it to Yifan. “I told him what plants I thought best, and he agrees, but it’s also a good idea to know what plants are best medically.”

“You don’t know that?” Sehun asked, “Aren’t you a botanist?”

“I studied growth, not really the uses.” Minseok replied, “It's a form of biology… it’s not really medically based, it’s a science.”

Baekhyun finally took a seat between Chanyeol and Taeyong when everyone was situated, a bowl sitting for Yixing untouched and a pot with still quite a bit of leftovers.

“I used to study biology, when I was like… sixteen.” Taehyung stated, “Failed the first test and never looked back.”

They all snorted, Zitao shoving his arm playfully.

“Okay, unrelated, but fuck this is good, Baekhyun. And that’s totally unbiased considering we’ve actually had a steady diet recently.” Luhan commented, eyes wide.

“There’s leftovers if you want more.” Baekhyun said with a light blush, leaning over the table to wipe Jisung’s hands with the edge of a napkin before he got Jongin's shirt all dirty. “Ji, let Hyung eat, sweetheart.”

Jisung only scrunched up his nose cutely, working himself onto the ground.

“Hyung used to make it for my birthday!” Taeyong added, pushing his comics away from the edge of the table Jisung was holding onto as he walked in thin socks. “Since I had teeth I think we had it!”

“Don’t be dramatic.” Baekhyun snorted, gently shoving Taeyongs arm, “If you’re done, go clean up for bed before Jisung gets his hands on your comics.”

Taeyong gasped, quickly shoving the comics into his backpack and running into his cell block.

The group laughed, momentarily distracted at Taeyongs antics. Then, a quiet bang made them turn around.

Jisung sat on his side, his hand on his cheek, eyes looking around as he tried to read everyone’s expressions, lip trembling.

“Don’t freak out.” Baekhyun said immediately, turning around on the bench, “He’ll only think he’s hurt if everyone starts freaking out, he doesn’t even really feel anything or else he’d start crying by now.” He sighed, reaching a hand out for him.

“Jisungie, you fell off the stairs?” He asked, “That's why we don’t go climbing on things when you’re not supposed to, come here.”

Jisung suddenly pouted, dropping his hand off the area and it wasn’t even red. Baekhyun snickered at the baby’s action for attention, “Don’t scare everyone, look at this, new clothes, here.” Baekhyun cooed, pulling the open duffle closer and pulling a random shirt out to distract the baby.

“Everytime I see you with kids, it reminds me how shit I am with kids.” Sunmi groaned, hand on her cheek a few tables away.

Baekhyun snorted, holding Jisungs sides as he stood and dug through the bag, “That’s not true, you’re good with Taeyong.”

“Taeyong is also thirteen, he doesn’t need that much help.” She responded.

“Speaking of Taeyong.” Yifan drawled in a sigh, “He found a note on the fence this morning, from Chaeyoung.”

“Oh god.” Chanyeol groaned, laying down on the tabletop.

“We have a meeting… tomorrow, at noon. A location and everything.” The leader continued, “It says I can bring two people.”

“Let’s just fucking ambush them then.” Jongin said immediately, “All of us and our guns… we could do it.”

“We talked about that already.” Junmyeon scolded, “We’re not the bad ones here, they’ll die no matter what, but we won’t be the ones to stage an attack without provoking.”

“One of us three are going, Hyung.” Kyungsoo began, “And that’s final, you know we’re the good back up anyways.”

Yifan huffed, rubbing his temple, “Fine, then I want Jongin.”

“Jongin?” Minseok turned to him in disbelief, “Jongin literally tried to leave grounds multiple times to kill that bastard and you want him to go?”

“Chaeyoung will be there.” The leader stated, “If anyone can talk to her, make her see our points, it’s him. And I want… I want Junmyeon.”

“Okay.” Junmyeon agreed, “So what do you think you’re going to offer?”

“Well… the river can be the border and…”


	28. The Deal

“You come back with one bruise on you… I’ll- I’ll beat you up, Hyung, I swear to god.” Baekhyun threatened, hanging on Jongin's arm as the elder attached a holster to his own thigh.

“Everything is fine.” Jongin cooed, cupping Baekhyun's cheek and walking him backwards, pressing the smaller against the wall with a smirk, “But I do like the furocity, very sexy.”

Baekhyun huffed, unable to hide the slight smile on his lips, “You’ll really like me when I smack that look off your face then.”

Jongin heard Chanyeol and Kyungsoo's resounding laughter and snickered, “Oh, I’m sure, baby. Now give me a kiss and stop freaking out, Yifan Hyung would never let me do anything stupid.”

“Good.” Baekhyun replied, standing on his toes and pressing a kiss to Jongin's mouth, “Be safe.”

“I’m always safe, you’re the one that needs to be watched, doll face. I always wonder what runs through that pretty head of yours.” The elder smiled, pressing a few kisses to Baekhyun's face.

“Good thing we’re going to be shadowing him all day.” Kyungsoo joked.

“Like usual.” Baekhyun added with a laugh, pressing his chin into Jongin's chest as he looked up at him, “Love you, Nini.”

“And I love you, beautiful.” Jongin purred immediately, brushing the hair from Baekhyun's cheekbone and pressing an open mouthed kiss to his lips. “I’ll expect something really nice when I get back, hm? Think over something that will really get me flustered.” He teased, releasing Baekhyun to accept the crossbow Chanyeol held out.

He knew Chanyeol was probably giving it out of worry, because the eldest loved that thing to death.

“I already have something!” Baekhyun chewed his lip, hands behind his back in a cute act of nervousness.

Jongin laughed, holding onto the cell door, “What is it, honey?”

Baekhyun looked at his feet for a second before blinking at him with a soft blush, “If you come back in one piece, we can make love tonight.”

The three positively choked, Jongin's ears turning a bright red.

Chanyeol coughed, reaching out to pull Baekhyun back to his chest, “Alright, get going before Yifan Hyung comes looking for you.” He brushed off, “We have a flirty soulmate to deal with, run along.”

“You can’t- fuck, you say this to me and expect me not to get turned on, you’re a demon.” Jongin whined.

Baekhyun giggled, turning to hide in Chanyeol's chest, “You said something nice!”

“Not- not like that, you're worse than me, doll. I’ve created a monster!”

“I quite enjoy it.” Kyungsoo laughed, pushing Jongin out the door, “Now you can go run off and be jealous we get to see his pretty face, goodbye.”

Jongin gawked as Kyungsoo shut the barred door on him.

~~~~~~~

The area they arrived in was inconspicuous, it seemed to just be a plain farmhouse, only a few miles outside of Woodsbury, a truck already parked outside, two men leaning against it.

“Alright, I’ll go in alone. Don’t argue, I know what I’m doing, okay?” Yifan stated, turning off the car and looking behind, “I’m not asking you to be friendly, I’m asking you two not to kill anyone unless you hear a gunshot from inside first- then, by all means fire away.”

Jongin snorted, it almost sounded like Yifan wanted to get shot or something. “Alright, good luck.”

“Yup.” Yifan sighed, his hand immediately pulling his gun out of the holster as a precaution as he approached the house.

The youngest of the three almost threw hands as soon as he looked at one of the men, “Thanks for the fucked up face.” Jongin growled, bow narrowed in on the man.

“Listen man, I follow my orders like everyone else around here. Might be here a while, let’s play pretend.” Martinez sighed, rolling his eyes.

“You wanna play dress up too?” Junmyeon muttered, looking at the nerdy man beside Martinez.

Yifan rubbed his temple as he walked inside.

The room was dark, overly so. His finger pulled back the hammer on his revolver out of instinct as he looked at the man deemed The Governor for the first time.

“We have a lot to talk about.”

Yifan glared, his gun pointing directly at him as he stared, “You attacked us. Makes things pretty clear.”

The man raised his hands in a mock surrender, “I was trying to make things clear. I could have killed you all. I didn't.”

“And here we are.” Yifan growled deeply, aim unwavering.

“I'm gonna remove my weapon.” The Governor began, expression unreadable, “Show that I mean to negotiate in good faith. I'd like you to do the same.”

Yifan only watched him remove the belt holster, laying it on the table as he took a seat, sitting comfortably across from the man aiming a gun at him.

The door opening had Yifan turning to point his gun that way before sighing, rubbing his temple and unhammering his gun, putting it in the holster.

“What's going on?” Chaeyoung demanded.

“Nothing. Your friend isn't much for small talk.” The Governor drawled.

“You want to talk, talk.” Yifan spat.

Chaeyoung frowned, walking to the table, “I wanted you to talk. Too many people have died for no reason. Let's end this. Save the bullets for the real threat. We can solve this. That's why I asked you to come here.”

Yifans glare was unwavering, one arm propped against the support beam beside him, “I know what you've done. I heard about the raids, the walker fights..” his lip curled up, “Baekhyun.”

For once, the man across from him had an expression, eyes flickering to Chaeyoung quickly before leaning his elbows on the table, “Martinez did that.”

“No.” The leader said deeply, “You know what I'm talking about.”

“You know all about me and I know all about you. I don't care about any of that. We're here to move forward.” The Governor replied, one of the fakest smiles Yifan had ever seen as he looked at Chaeyoung.

Jongin glared through the window, spinning around and walking towards Junmyeon, “Maybe we should go inside.”

“The Governor thought it best if he and Yifan spoke privately.” The nerdier man commented.

“Who the hell are you?” Junmyeon growled.

“Milton Mamet.”

“Great. He brought his butler.” Jongin huffed, rolling his eyes as Martinez laughed too.

Chaeyoung slammed her palms on the wood table, “I've known you both at different times, but only after the world went to shit. And you both stepped up for the good of others at great personal risk. There's no reason--“

“Get to it.” The Governor interrupted.

“Woodbury takes west of the river. The prison takes east. No one crosses, no one trades.” Yifan offered, tossing an old map onto the table.

“He's right. We should hammer out boundaries, then leave each other-“

“I'm sorry, what is this?” The man asked, a laugh as he looked up at Chaeyoung.

She frowned, “It's a solution.”

“Absolutely not.”

Yifan growled, “What the hell am I doing here? You told me- You told me he was willing to talk.” He said aggressively, pointing at Chaeyoung.

“I am, but the truth is, Yifan, she's in no position to make such an offer anyway. I'm here for one thing only- your surrender.” The Governor laughed, placing his heels on the table.

“Oh, you want surrender? Come get it.” The leader huffed angry breaths, “We have all kinds of anger for you, you ruined one of my men. You think we hit Woodbury heavy last time?”

“Just take it easy, all right? We're here to settle this.” Chaeyoung had the nerve to glare at him.

“You're right. Would you step outside? Yifan and I, we got a lot to talk about.”

“I'm not leaving.” She disagreed.

“I came to talk to him.” Yifan brushed her off, “I didn’t come here to talk to you.”

Chaeyoung glared between the two of them in disbelief, loud angry footsteps as she slammed her way outside.

Yifan clenched his jaw, slowly walking forward, pulling the old wooden chair out and laying a hand on the table, “So you're The Governor.”

“That's-- that's their term, not mine.”

The leader clicked his tongue, “Oh. But still, you're beholden to your people. You have responsibility to them.”

The man across from Yifan didn’t respond, only leaning back in his chair. “Isn’t Martinez your lieutenant?” Yifan wondered.

“He is helpful, yeah.”

“But you knew he was erratic. You blame him for scooping up Jongin and Baekhyun in the first place?”

The Governor nodded, “Exactly. I was trying to sort it out when you attacked.”

“So it was his fault?” Yifan almost rolled his eyes.

“He's a wild card, but he's effective. He gets the dirty jobs done.”

“I thought you'd take responsibility.” Yifan narrowed his eyes, licking his cracked lips.

The Governor paused, a slight chuckle, “I thought you were a cop, not a lawyer.”

“Either way, I don't pretend to be a governor.”

“I told you, I'm their leader.” Yifan curled his lips up at the words, leaning forward.

“You’re the town drunk who knocked over my fence and ripped up my yard, nothing more. You’re a criminal, you raped one of my family members.” He snarled under his breath.

“That boy begged for it.” The Governor argued, “He didn’t fight for shit, he was a pretty whore and nothing more. You guys play with him, huh? He took it too well to not be experienced.”

Yifans eyes flickered to the wooden table, the grip he had on his own knee tight, “That… ‘boy’ has a name, and he’s a sweet person. He has a family, and you ruined him.” He felt his nose twitch and tapped his other hand on the table so he wouldn’t kill The Governor now.

“Didn't you ever misjudge someone? Hmm?” The Governor argued. “Maybe you don’t know your own family as much as you credit yourself for, because Baekhyun… he probably lied to you, it was sex. I never touched that pretty boy more than he wanted… but if you think otherwise… I guess you can blame yourself for it. Restitution for your own lack of insight. For failing to see the devil beside you.”

Yifan gulped down his anger, “Oh, I see him all right.” Eyes unwavering.

The Governor laughed.

“I care about my people and I don't take their deaths lightly, and I know you don't either. In a way, this fight, it's a failure of leadership.”

“Then leave us alone.” Yifan shot back.

“Well, now, that would be an even bigger failure. You've moved into our backyard. You shot up Main Street. If I let that threat persist, I look weak and, well, the whole thing crumbles.”

“Well, that's your problem. Your choice.”

The man across Yifan smirked, “Now, isn't that why we're here? Choice. If we choose to destroy everything we've fought for over the past year... we're gonna kill everyone we know. At your prison. Back in Woodbury. People we love, Yifan. I was at work one day taking shit from a boss half my age and an IQ even lower. And the phone rang.

My soulmate had been in an accident. ‘Sorry, Mr. Blake, we did everything we could.’ I sat there holding that phone, knowing that I would never see her again. Gone. It was just an accident. No one's fault. She left a voicemail asking me to call her, but I hadn't had a chance yet. I sat there clutching that phone thinking, ‘What did she want?’ Just to check in? Ask me to pick something up for dinner? What did she want?”

“This some sob story? You raped and assaulted my family, I don’t fucking care about what you say at this point.” Yifan said bluntly.

“Well.” The Governor laughed, “At least you’re honest.”

~~~~~~

Jongin sighed, having spent a good twenty minutes or so staring at Chaeyoung before deciding now to take a seat beside her. “How's it going in there?”

“They kicked me out. I don't know what I'm doing here.” She whispered.

“You're trying to help.” Jongin said softly, patting her back.

Chaeyoung stared at him for a moment before sighing, “What happened with Baekhyun?”

Jongin narrowed his eyes, snatching his hand away from her, “He's a sick man.”

“What am I gonna do now? I can't go back there.” She muttered, “I fucked up, my kids are there… I’m the one that led them there.”

“We're family. You belong with us.” Jongin replied, stepping on a leaf under his foot, “But if you join us, it's settled.”

“I know.” Chaeyoung mumbled, running her hands through her hair stressfully.

Jongin stared at her for a moment, “Do you really want to know?”

“Know what?” She sighed, pulling her knees to her chest.

“What happened to my soulmate.” He said simply, pressing Chanyeol's bow into the ground, digging at the dirt.

“Truthfully, yes.” Chaeyoung stared at his profile, “But nobody tells me anything anymore.”

Jongin laughed, the sentence oddly similar to one Taeyong always muttered.

He sat back, licking over his lips before gulping. “He always was a little… we had to put him together, he never had a good living situation before this.” Jongin explained, “But… once we finally made it to the prison things were good, they were so good, Chaeyoung… I can’t even tell you how content… how happy we were.”

He turned to look at her, “He finally opened up his heart for us, he was willing to get help, and ask for it. Baekhyun… he woke up with a smile, everyday.” Jongin sniffed, scrunching his nose up, “And then… we were taken, both of us. And even now, months later, he’ll wake up covered in sweat, crying.

He’s on antidepressants because of it, and it was hell to watch him wither into nothing at the beginning. You saw him recently… but that was still months after the attack, he was so sickly. Even Taeyong couldn't touch him.”

“What happened, Jongin?” Chaeyoung interrupted, hands clenched into her jeans.

“Did you know that Baekhyun is supposed to be over 130 lbs?” Jongin furrowed his brows at her expressed concern, “He’s barely 115, maybe, we haven’t checked in a while. The medication made him lose what little weight he had, and sometimes now he gets extremely tired quickly, we can’t leave him alone in fear he'd pass out- it has happened before. He’ll have a panic attack, get so scared he’ll hide and we have to spend hours calming him down enough to just hold him…. This is my soulmate, Chaeyoung. You’re crying right now and imagine how I feel, how Chanyeol feels, how Kyungsoo feels.”

“Jongin…” She sniffed and ducked her head, “He- he looked happy when I saw him…”

Jongin snickered darkly, “Yeah, after months. And even now he’s not… healed, and he never will be.”

“Just- god, Jongin, I know you’re trying to make me feel like shit, and I-I do, but just spit it out.” She cried.

“Look me in the eyes right now and tell me I deserved this, tell me that any of us deserved this, Chaeyoung.” Jongin continued, eyes flooding with tears as he met her eyes. “Tell me Baekhyun doesn’t deserve to be happy, tell me he deserved to be treated like trash.”

“J-Jo-“

“Tell me he… he deserved to be raped, held down and threatened with my life, because you know he car-cares way more about others than himself!” Jongin cried, standing up, “Try and tell me any of that now.”

“He- J-Jongin… are you sure? Y-You’re sure?”

Jongin closed his eyes for a second as he clenched his jaw, “Baekhyun sees his face in his nightmares, and you know what I see?”

“Do you know what I see?” Jongin prompted again, angry tears falling even though Chaeyoung was sobbing, in disbelief or in fear, he had no idea- and didn’t care. “I see that man pinning my soulmate to the floor, threatening to ‘fuck him again’ while Baekhyun sobs. The only relief I get is when I wake up and see him safe, but then I know- I remember that he can never be, not when men like this are alive. Men who absolutely- look at me.

You don’t get to sit here and cry, act like you had no idea of his wrongdoings when they sat right under your nose. We sat in that shed almost a whole day being beaten, being traumatized, and I’m not saying it’s your fault… but- but you know, you knew something was wrong.

I told you before, I told you I could have lived with what he did to me, but I can’t with what he did to Baekhyun, and that’s the truth. So, why don’t you ask me again if I’m sure, because I’m fucking positive.”

Jongin stormed to his car, leaving the sobbing woman to herself as he climbed into the backseat. And he also sobbed.

~~~~~~~~

“You know, the truth is I didn't want any of this.”

Yifan hummed uninterestedly, watching The Governor closely as he walked around.

“They chose me because there was nobody else around. And they still think that I'm the man that can keep them safe. They still think I know what I'm doing.”

The Governor paused, turning to look at Yifan, “I know you got guns.”

Yifan hummed in approval, a slight nod.

“That was quite a stash you brought back the other day. Now, my people, they're not combat-tested like yours are, but I've got more of them. So this fight, it will go down to the last man.”

“So let's end it. Today. Let's not do this. We can walk away.” Yifan said immediately.

“You have something that I want. One thing that makes this all all right.”

Yifan stiffened, “I'm not giving up the prison.”

“No, I don't want your prison. That doesn't sound safe at all.” The man disagreed.

“We're not moving on.” Yifan added.

The Governor laughed, “What good would that do me? Best you stay where I can keep my eyes on you.”

Yifan sat back, folding his arms over his chest.

“I want Baekhyun. Turn him over and this all goes away. Is he worth it? One man... worth all those lives at your prison? You have two days to think it over.”

The leader curled his lips up at The Governor, “Why the fuck would you want him?”

“A trust offering, you could say. All of your group seems to care a lot about him, it would go both ways, you could have your pick, of course.

In two days, I’ll be here at noon.”

Yifan booked it out of there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would you do it?


	29. Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SMUT

Yifan hadn’t spoken the whole time Junmyeon drove home, and Jongin was in no condition to ask, or talk for that matter, he was pissed- only staring out the window with red eyes.

Even when they watched Taehyung pull open the fence with an excited smile at their arrival home, Yifan couldn't find it in him to spare him a smile.

He only stomped into the cell block with a motion for Taehyung to follow the three of them.

“Hyung, welcome back.” God, Yifan couldn't even look at Baekhyun right now without feeling the least bit guilty.

Because he would be lying if he said he hadn’t considered- for less than a split second- giving up the younger to save the rest of them.

It was a thought that went as soon as it came though. Especially when he saw Baekhyun's beaming smile as he launched himself at Jongin, Jisungs arms curled around his calf.

Because everyone loved Baekhyun. Because he was sweet, and he was caring, and he loved everyone.

Yifan felt like shit.

“So, anyone gonna spit it out?” Minseok raised a brow, pushing the board game he was playing with Taeyong away.

“Would if I knew, Min.” Junmyeon smiled, moving to sit beside his soulmate.

“We’re going to war.” Yifan sighed, “That's our agreement, war, we couldn’t agree.”

It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it didn’t really matter at this point. He had already made a decision.

“What?” Luhan asked in disbelief, “Our offer was a good one- a peaceful one. He didn’t want to deal at all?”

“He did, but it wasn’t a good one. In two days he’ll come and then we’ll have to do the plan I set out for us.” Yifan brushed off.

“Well what was it?” Baekhyun asked softly, knelt down and hugging Jisung as the baby clung to him.

Yifan stared at him way too long, and he knew it. He just couldn’t snap out of it until Chanyeol blocked Baekhyun for a second. “He wanted you.”

“Who?” Yixing asked, “What was that?”

“He wanted Baekhyun.” Yifan explained, “It was a false deal though- he’s still going to attack us- it doesn’t matter.”

“Why the fuck? Hasn’t he done enough? Why would he want Baekhyun?” Chanyeol growled, pulling his soulmate- and Jisung by default- to his chest.

The leader rubbed his temple, walking over to find a water bottle, “If you want to talk about this Taeyong needs to go.”

“No, let him stay.” Baekhyun muttered, “It’s okay… I’ll- I'll talk to him later, I want to hear it.” He said softly, cheek pressed to Chanyeol arm.

Yifan sighed, glancing at Taeyong who suddenly looked extremely attentive. “He tried to… convince me I had heard wrong events about what occurred… of course, I didn’t believe that for one second, Baekhyun. He had this.. look, he has no idea how disgusting he was. He claimed that if we gave up Baekhyun it would be a sign of trust, but that’s utter bullshit, he’s a sick- sick man.”

“I hope Chaeyoung kills him before I get my hands on him- fuck, he’ll wish he was dead.” Jongin growled, hands in his hair, “I told her- I told her the truth and she cried, I feel a little bad because it sounded like I accused her, but… it is a little bit of her fault.”

“She’s chosen her side.” Junmyeon agreed, “It’s not her fault, but… I’m sorry- I heard your conversation and she has no right to ask you to confirm-“

“That my soulmate was assaulted, I know. I guess I must have blown up too much, but.. but she’s the enemy now.” Jongin interrupted, “I just find it.. it’s cruel he even tried to spin the story around for Hyung.”

“It’s not that he was trying to spin it, I don’t think.” Yifan drawled, “I think he was trying to make himself seem… not at fault, he tried to blame his henchman for it at first when Chaeyoung was in the room.”

Baekhyun scrunched his face in disgust, “He offered me to them, like I was an object- it was him- all him.”

“Shh, baby, we know… you don’t need to explain anything.” Kyungsoo mumbled, running over to brush his hand over Baekhyun's shoulders.

“I’m not going to detail what he said… but the gist was that he claimed- his words not mine- Baekhyun begged for it and that he ‘didn’t fight.’ As if that changed what he did at all.”

“That’s a blatant lie!” Baekhyun screamed, pressing Jisung into Chanyeol's arms before brushing them off, “I told him he could go to fucking hell, he knew what he was doing- I-I cried!”

“Baekhyun.” Yixing said softly, “Baekhyun, you don’t need to defend yourself, we all believe you, sweetie. You’re upset, rightfully so, we are too, but we still believe you.”

Baekhyun sighed, running his hand over his hair, normally he’d be freaking out at everyone watching him, but he was too upset to care. “I’m just.. I’m tired, Hyung. I’m not.. I’m definitely not expecting any sort of guilt from him… and I’m not asking for an apology, but.. but can’t he own up to it. He raped me. I never- I didn’t-“

Taeyong didn’t know what was going on, well, until now. The teenager may not know as much as he probably should, but he knew bad things. He knew people did horrible things even before the world ended.

So he only walked up to Baekhyun and hugged him, resting his head on his brothers collarbone.

“Hyung, I believe you.” Taeyong said, it sounded loud in the silence but it was basically a whisper, “You don’t need to prove yourself to anyone, I know you never lie.”

Baekhyun could only laugh watery, pressing his nose to Taeyongs hair, “I don’t tell you things sometimes.” He admitted.

Taeyong only shrugged, hugging him tighter at the waver in his voice, “You said secrets keep people from getting hurt and you were right… because I always asked you for the truth... but I think I’d rather not feel so hurt right now.”

Baekhyun gulped, pressing his face into Taeyongs hair, “Why are you hurting?”

“Because I’m always so mean to you… and you deserve to only be happy, Hyung.”

~~~~~~~

“I don’t know what else to pack.” Kyungsoo wondered aloud, “Yifan Hyung said it would probably only be a day, but we don’t know how this plan will really go down, it’s risky. They could overtake it for all we know.”

Baekhyun hummed, wrapping his arms around Kyungsoo's waist, “Pack more clothes, Hyung. Just as a precaution.”

“Baek, what about… Sunmi?” Jongin asked, looking through their bedroom door, watching Jisung running into peoples cells curiously.

“Sunmi would be good.” He agreed, “Her or… Yixing Hyung i think, we don’t need someone the best at shooting, Taeyong will be out there too and he’s really good.”

“I still don’t like that.” Chanyeol commented, picking up a box, “The separation, I know why… but Taeyong is useful.”

“He’ll be more useful hiding in the treeline and protecting Jisung.” Kyungsoo argued, “He’s really proud about the opportunity, Hyung. Don’t burst his bubble.”

Chanyeol rolled his eyes at the scolding before pretending he didn’t when Baekhyun raised a brow at him, placing a beaming smile on his face.

“Yeol, did you pack Jisungs stuff?” Baekhyun laughed at the smile and walked towards him.

“Taehyung already did, it was barely pulled out anyways.”

Baekhyun hummed, straddling Chanyeol's lap, wrapping his arms around the elders neck. “Then we only need to pack the food-“

“Luhan and Sehun did it already, all that’s left is to put this stuff in a car, set up the smoke bombs and then wait two days, baby.” Kyungsoo said fondly, pushing the box he filled towards the door with his foot.

“Oh.” The youngest chirped, “Then let's just lay here.”

“How about you let me see you? You had a lot of big talk this morning, hm?” Jongin teased, tugging Baekhyun's sleeve playfully.

Baekhyun licked his mouth nervously, a light blush coming on his cheeks as he whined, reaching over to lightly push Jongin, “Nini, so rude!”

“Rude?” Chanyeol laughed, pressing his mouth over the hickey on Baekhyun's collarbone, “You’re the rude one, getting your Hyungs all worked up, baby.”

The youngest pouted, running his hand over the stubble on Chanyeol's jaw. He ran his thumb over it before chewing his lip and flushing shyly, pressing his face into the elders neck. “Hyung, I like this, you look nice.”

“Ah, what’s gotten into you, sweetheart? So cute, aren’t you playing with us too much today?” Chanyeol teased, turning to lay Baekhyun on the mattress, narrowly missing Jongin's calf, before hovering over him.

Baekhyun giggled, a hand coming up to cover his face, “My Hyungs are handsome.” He muffled, peeking through his fingers only to blush at the wide grins he was getting. “Don’t look at me!” He whined, pressing both hands to his face.

“Our baby is so pretty though.” Jongin cooed, pulling his hands from his face to hold them in his, pressing his mouth to Baekhyun's knuckles. “Baekhyunnie, what’s gotten into you, hm?”

“Love you.” Baekhyun answered honestly, his ears bright red. “Love my soulmates.”

“Oh, gorgeous.” Chanyeol said in a deep growl, pressing his chest down onto Baekhyun's, “We love you too, so much. Our sweet soulmate, Hyungs will always try to take care of you.”

“Want you to take care of me.” Baekhyun murmured, smiling as Jongin leaned over his face to press a kiss to his hairline. “I don’t want to lose any of you guys ever, I’ll- I’ll go crazy, don’t leave me ever, please.”

The three frowned, hiding the expression from Baekhyun.

They had considered such outcomes before, the possibilities of at least one of them not making it was pretty high when compared to that of single coupled soulmates. There were just so many dangerous or otherwise lethal things out there now.

Even something as small as a common fever could easily take one of them out if they didn’t have the means to care for it.

They didn’t want to promise Baekhyun anything, even though they so badly wanted to, because he looked so happy when they promised things to him.

But they wouldn’t make the same mistake of giving him too much hope, especially not when they were going to war with someone that seemed very keen about not caring for their deaths.

“None of us would ever voluntarily do that.” The eldest whispered, moving Baekhyun's legs around his waist to put his weight between the much smaller man. “Okay? Your Hyungs never want to leave you, but we’re not making promises we’re not sure can be kept anymore, remember?”

“Then…” Baekhyun scrunched his nose in thought as he reached up to tangle his hands in Chanyeol hair, “Then we should love each other a lot… ju- just in case, right?”

“Exactly.” Kyungsoo called across the room, seated in the chair facing the mattress, “Exactly, sugar. And you know… you’ve known over a year that we love you to death, Baekhyun. So… so if anything ever happens you need to remember that, and if we’re still alive and only separated, you bet we’re going to come and find you. There’s nothing that would keep us from coming after you.”

Baekhyun's fingers shook on the nape of Chanyeol's neck at the thought of not being here with them, calm and safe. “I’d find you too, each of you, until we… until we were together again, and I’d never let you out of my sight.”

“So you’d be us, huh?” Jongin teased, laying his hand in Baekhyun's hair, “You’d never leave us alone? That doesn’t sound bad at all, let’s start doing that, dollface.”

Baekhyun laughed loudly, the sound making the three of them feel much more relieved even though they had been having such a serious conversation. “I already do that!”

“Oh, really?” Chanyeol chuckled, his elbows on either side of Baekhyun's head, holding himself up as he ran his nose down Baekhyun's cheek. “Our leech, it's okay though because Hyungs like to have you right by our sides, where we know you’re safe and we can keep an eye on you.”

“Definitely.” Kyungsoo chirped with a smirk, “Just think about it, if all goes right then this prison will have a lot more people, some might be too charmed by that pretty smile, babe. We need you to never leave us alone so nobody comes to steal our baby from us, hm?”

“I only want my Hyungs enamored with me.” Baekhyun smiled, pressing his nose to Chanyeol's, “Only want you guys to look at me.”

“Ugh, I wouldn’t blame them though.” Jongin cried, laying back against the wall in the corner of their bed, “Baekhyun is wonderful, I’d be lovestruck too.”

Baekhyun laughed, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of Chanyeol's mouth making the elder seek out his lips again.

“True.” Kyungsoo drawled, “Still would set the record straight though, but I definitely couldn’t blame them.”

“Oh, I could.” Chanyeol sighed into Baekhyun's mouth, pulling back only to finish his statement. “Our soulmate, sure- everyone might have puppy crushes, but I’ll tear the shit out of them if they get close. I have little self control- even less when it comes to Baek; only look at us, babe, or I’ll lose my mind- I’m very possessive, you know this.”

“I like it though.” Baekhyun grinned, running his lips over Chanyeol's cheek for more attention, “Only want to look at you guys anyways, but I want you to be possessive of me- I don’t want anyone else’s attention.”

“Fuck, what do you want me to say, sweetheart? All you need to do is look at me with those cute eyes- I’ll do whatever you want.” The eldest admitted, sitting up, running his hands over Baekhyun's thighs.

Baekhyun giggled, looking at Jongin beamingly when he pulled him under his arms, laying the youngests head in his lap, “I could just look at you all day, baby. Keep talking, Hyung likes to hear you.” Jongin purred, thumb running along the curve of his neck.

Baekhyun shivered at the feeling before suddenly getting up, making the three look at him confused as he picked up a spare sheet.

“What are you doing, sugar?” Kyungsoo raised a brow as Baekhyun snatched a roll of duct tape from the shelf.

The youngest suddenly flushed, giving them a view of his back as he walked to the barred door, “Want privacy. Do you think they’ll hear us down the hall? Should I put something thicker?”

The three looked at his back stunned, quiet even as Baekhyun turned around with a red face and a slight pout, leaning against the door. “You don’t want to?”

“Fuck-uh- uh… lets put something thick baby, Hyungs want to hear you.” Chanyeol coughed out, his own cheeks pinkening.

“Or.” Jongin snapped out of his daze, standing up, “Better yet, let’s go to cell block D, recently cleared- nobody will be there.”

Baekhyun didn’t have a chance to respond at all when he was suddenly being thrown over a shoulder, releasing only a quiet laugh and curling his hands into the back of Kyungsoo's shirt.

“I’ll get some stuff, don’t you fucking get started without us!” Chanyeol ordered as Kyungsoo balanced the smaller in his arms, opening the door.

“Oh, please. Even I don’t have that much control, if you don’t hurry up, you might just miss out!” Kyungsoo smirked, walking down the stairs just below their doorway.

“Kyungsoo!”

~~~~~~~~

“Hyung…” Baekhyun started off nervously, watching Kyungsoo arrange bedding on the floor of cell block D while they waited for Chanyeol and Jongin to round up supplies.

“Yes, baby?”

The younger smiled, wrapping arms around his own waist, “I was wondering… um- I wanted to ask how to… to use your mouth… I don’t want, I want to be good.”

Kyungsoo snapped his head up to look at him, “How to give a blowjob? That’s what you’re asking about?”

Baekhyun flushed at the crude way he put it and nodded, “Um.. yeah… I just- I want to try, you know? I’ve never…”

“You can try today, god you’ll look so hot.” The elder groaned walking over to the metal bed frame and standing between Baekhyun's legs, “Don’t feel obligated to do anything you don’t want to.”

“I want to.” Baekhyun murmured, “... I just want to be good though…”

Kyungsoo laughed, pressing a kiss to his forehead, “You don’t need to worry, you’ll be great, sweetheart. I already got to be with you recently though, so I’m just going to watch, and if you get scared at all, Hyung will pull you immediately, hm? I know those two can get a little.. overwhelming.”

“I’m not scared.” The younger whispered, “Never scared of Yeol and Nini, I just want to be good because… you guys have been with other people- and I-I want to be better.”

“Oh, babe.” The elder fussed, “You’re our soulmate, no matter what you do ever- not even just intimately- you’ll be the best in our eyes, okay? I can guarantee you, sugar, that none of us have ever- ever been with someone so cute, and we’ve never been with someone we love, and it’s already a million times better with you, Baekhyun. Okay? Don’t ever think otherwise, because I can’t even remember a single person I’ve ever been with — all I think about is my perfect little soulmate right here.”

Kyungsoo pressed his forehead to Baekhyun's, running his thumb along his cheek, “Okay?” He prompted.

“I like it when you say that.” Baekhyun confessed, a smile playing at his lips as Kyungsoo kissed the corner of his eye.

“You’re adorable, Hyungs can’t think of anyone else, babe. Now let’s get this off, hm?” Kyungsoo murmured, pulling the end of Baekhyun's shirt up.

The younger laughed, raising his arms and allowing him to remove his shirt before Kyungsoo was scooping him up and tossing him to the cushioned floor.

“My little puppy, you look just like a puppy, so cute. Did you know this?” Kyungsoo teased, fingers unbuttoning the smallers jeans.

Baekhyun giggled, laying flat on his back, pulling one of the blankets to his exposed chest as Kyungsoo pulled his jeans off. “I miss puppies, I used to want one so bad!”

“If I had a chance, I’d let you get one, baby. Too bad they’re long gone or else Hyung would get you anything you wanted.” The elder smiled, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's ankle making him laugh.

“Sweet talking him already?” Chanyeol's deep voice whined as he and Jongin appeared, “Well, I guess this is better than what we expected to see.” He added, already eyeing Baekhyun darkly.

Baekhyun didn’t find the lustful look offensive at all, odd considering that most looks he found disgusting. But never ones from his soulmates. Truthfully, Baekhyun was probably getting ahead of himself with this thought, but he wondered if he would even be fine being treated roughly.

He wasn’t too sure though, because just the thought of being held so he couldn’t tell who it was- even if he knew who it was- it gave him chills, and not in a good context.

“Let’s get started, hm? Hyung is really worked up.”

Baekhyun laughed, hearing the other two echoing his as Chanyeol settled between his legs, immediately latching onto his sensitive neck.

“Chanyeollie!” He giggled, tangling his fingers in his hair and curling his legs around the others hips, “Chanyeollie, want you to… get me ready.”

“God, I’m gonna die.” Baekhyun heard Jongin croak.

He heard footsteps around the room before he was finally able to pull Chanyeol's shirt off, biting his lip as he trailed his eyes over his oldest soulmate, “You like what you see, baby?” He teased, curling his fingers in Baekhyun's boxers, waiting for a short nod before removing them.

“Yes.” Baekhyun whispered under his breath, fingers reaching out to trail Chanyeol's abdomen, “Touch me, Hyung.”

Chanyeol made a noise in the back of his throat that sent shivers down Baekhyun's spine as he was pulled to lay on the edge of the bed, legs spread.

“God, fucking perfect.” Baekhyun looked up to smile at Jongin making his way over, shirt already missing as he settled himself behind his soulmate, pulling Baekhyun's back to his chest.

“Here.” Kyungsoo said quietly, passing Chanyeol the lube they had dropped at the sight of the youngest all spread out for them.

“You’re so pretty, doll.” Jongin's lips were so close to his ear as he trailed kisses down the curve of Baekhyun's neck that he let a quiet whimper slip.

Baekhyun saw Chanyeol laugh at the noise and he pouted, lifting his hips up slightly, “You’re taking forever Yeol.”

“You’re so impatient, love.” The eldest snickered, gently pushing his hips down to the mattress with his dry hand, “I don’t want to hurt you, give me a second, honey.” He mumbled, running his thumb over the soft skin of Baekhyun's inner thigh.

“Just do it, Hyung.” Baekhyun whined, a slight moan in his voice as he turned his head to give Jongin more space on his neck. “Touch me, tou- Hyung.”

His words got cut off with a squeal, back arching off Jongin's chest making the man laugh into his shoulder, teeth lightly scraping Baekhyun's skin.

“Hy-Hyung- Ch-“ Baekhyun's thighs shook, reaching between his legs to grab Chanyeol's wrist from moving for a second, panting and leaning forward.

“Good, baby?” Chanyeol laughed, curling his fingers just to watch Baekhyun moan out, leaning forward, the eldest smiled, pressing his lips to Baekhyun's forehead. “You said touch you, impatient baby.”

Baekhyun groaned, tilting his head up to brush his lips with Chanyeol's, “Hyung… your hands are big.”

Baekhyun heard the three laugh, felt Chanyeol's breath on his lips, “I know, sweetheart.” He cooed, licking Baekhyun bottom lip before using his non occupied hand to gently push him back onto Jongin's chest. “Sit still, babe, Hyung will prepare you.”

“Hyung is good, hm?” Jongin whispered, lifting Baekhyun's hips up only to place a rolled up blanket beneath his hips.

Baekhyun only hummed, closing his eyes at Chanyeol ministrations, quiet moans falling past his mouth, “Nini- hu-Hyung want you to make love to me.”

Jongin smiled, a genuine one despite his aching erection pressing into Baekhyun's spine, “If that’s what you want, sweetheart, just wait until Yeol is done.”

“Mm, want Hyung in my mouth.”

“Fuck.” Chanyeol stopped, pouring more lube over Baekhyun's stretched hole, gently making sure he was ready, “You want my cock in your mouth, honey?”

Baekhyun licked his lips, reaching out for Chanyeol to sit him up, “Want to try.”

“Shit.”

Baekhyun suddenly felt himself being pulled to his knees, Jongin's hands on his ass behind him, “Would you be okay? If you were on your front, would you be okay, baby?”

“Be easy.” Baekhyun replied softly, pushing a blanket off the mattress and spreading his knees apart, “Jonginnie, be easy and it’s okay.”

“Oh, sweetheart.” He heard the man coo, running his lips down Baekhyun's spine, “Hyung will only be easy with you, you’ll be okay.”

“You just look at us, little moon.” Chanyeol chirped, removing his pants and boxers before settling himself in front of Baekhyun, immediately the younger was pressing his cheek into his thigh. “Me and Kyungsoo we’re right here, love. You ask Jongin anything and he’ll respond immediately, nobody is going to hurt you.”

“Okay.” Baekhyun muffled, hearing the foil wrapper of a condom being opened, a gentle hand on his tailbone.

Chanyeol hummed, running his thumb over Baekhyun's lip, “We love you, beautiful.”

Baekhyun's eyes scrunched into a pretty smile, pressing a kiss to Chanyeol's thumb before sitting up, hips in the air and palms resting on Chanyeol's thighs as he leaned down to press a soft kiss to the man’s hip.

“Baby, it’s just Hyung.” Jongin murmured before Baekhyun felt his tip entering his heat, Baekhyun chewed his lip for a second soft noises falling from his mouth.

“He’s really tight, right?” Kyungsoo purred, Baekhyun's eyes flicked to him by the doorway, the man looking relatively unfazed if Baekhyun didn’t notice his hand resting over the tented front of his jeans. “Perfect.”

“Fuck, beautiful.” Jongin groaned, pressing his lips to Baekhyun's spine.

Baekhyun moaned a high pitched squeak as Jongin rolled his hips before panting, sitting up to grab Chanyeol's erection. “Hyung, more.” He requested, pressing kisses down his oldest soulmates thigh.

“Whatever you want, my love.”

Baekhyun smiled slightly, licking his lips before pressing a soft kiss to Chanyeol's tip, looking up at him.

The man groaned, a deep noise that resonated through Baekhyun's chest. “God, you look so cute, how?” Chanyeol moaned, combing his hair back with his fingers, “Your mouth is so little, baby. Can you handle it?”

Baekhyun giggled, the sound breathy as he flattened his tongue onto Chanyeol's erection, “Don’t know how, Hyung.”

“You’re doing great, little moon. You just suck, that pretty little mouth looks beautiful doing anything. Hyung has done this to you before, huh? Just like that.”

Baekhyun nodded, wrapping his mouth around his tip and swallowing the precum. His hands curling around the rest of the length and slowly lowering himself further onto Chanyeol's length.

“Oh, fuck. God, I was wrong, your mouth isn’t small, baby.”

Then, Jongin gave a particularly deep thrust and Baekhyun happily choked.


	30. Taeyong Knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being hateful... makes you do crazy things.

“You’re curious, right?”

Baekhyun heard a hum of acknowledgement and felt the side of the mattress sink in as Kyungsoo sat himself on his elbow to Baekhyun's left. “About what?”

The youngest in the room hummed, tangling his fingers into Chanyeol's hair where the eldest laid between his legs, cheek on his chest, a slight sheen to all of their skin. “About why I’m suddenly… wanting to try things.”

Jongin turned on his side, pressing his lips to Baekhyun's shoulder opposite Kyungsoo. “Because you feel calmer?” He asked, “Because you trust us more.”

Baekhyun licked his swollen mouth, reaching over Chanyeol's shoulder to pull the blanket over the eldests chiseled back, “Yes, but… no.”

Chanyeol hummed, the sound vibrating Baekhyun's chest as the eldest placed a sweet kiss to his sternum, “What is it, moon?”

“It’s because… I- we don’t know what happens. I’ve told you guys before, we’ve discussed it, but I don’t want anything to happen and then we won’t have these memories together. I wouldn’t ever know what it would be like… to be with each of you like this. An- and I think… kissing isn’t enough, holding you guys like this or.. sleeping beside each other, it’s not enough.

It might be for you, I’m sure it is since you guys have waited… well over a year to make love to me, but to me- that’s not- I want to collect all the intimacy you will give me. Another memory to store away, another thing I can- I can have for myself, because they’re my memories and nobody can change them… nobody will know what it’s like other than me.”

“Baek, if memories are what you want then we have so many, and if intimacy is what you want then you never need to ask us twice.” Kyungsoo purred, leaning down to kiss Baekhyun's hair. “And if it’s… just because you want something for yourself then that’s okay too, nobody will ever know what we’re like together intimately.

Nobody will ever know how beautiful you look like this, how much it makes our hearts race when you look so happy, or how gorgeous you look when you cum- those are our memories- and whatever you think about us like this- those are yours.”

“The chances… of all of us living happily forever… It's very thin. A few of us might not make it as long, an- and I can't stand the thought of it… but it’s realistic, it’s true. So… times like this, where we can just be so close, I- I really like them.”

Chanyeol sat up at the slight waver of Baekhyun's voice, slightly surprised that he wasn’t crying. “I don’t think you’re scared of you not making it… it’s us, I know because I feel the same, the same about Sehun, Jongin, the same about Kyungsoo… Taeyong, but I sure as hell- I definitely- a hundred percent- know that you’ll make it, Baekhyun. There’s no way you won’t.”

Baekhyun frowned, cupping behind Chanyeol's ear, “Of course that’s what I’m scared of. If I lose one of you… I don’t know that I could- I think I’d turn weak again, and I’d- I’d be scared of my own shadow, b-because you guys hold me together so well… each of you contribute your own things that keep me together, Chanyeol. And without one of those things it’s like… removing a barrier, and everything comes crashing down.”

“Fuck, don’t say that.” Jongin whispered, Baekhyun could feel a wetness on his shoulder and couldn’t stand to look or he would cry too. “It’s easy to pretend that you don’t need us, Baekhyun. But it’s a huge lie because we need you just as much as you need us, and it’s so much. It’s so-so much, I would give up everything for you- it’s selfish, but you’re my soulmate, and I’ve already fucked up once- I can-I can’t stand to let it happen again; not while I’m still around.”

“You didn’t fuck up, Jongin.” Kyungsoo argued opposite the man, “It was nobody’s fault but his- it was never your fault.”

“I should have protected him, I should have done better.” Jongin whimpered, “You weren’t there, but you would have- anyone would have done better than me.”

“I don’t need you to protect me all of the time.” Baekhyun murmured softly, his unoccupied arm moving to rest under Jongin's neck, thumb running over the side of his soulmates neck. “I want to protect you, Hyung. I know you guys… you don’t want to hear about it, but you shouldn’t feel guilty… because that’s not how it went down at all… it wasn’t a matter of whether or not you could have done anything to stop it- you couldn’t have.”

“I could ha-“

Baekhyun sighed, turning his head to press his nose to Jongin's hair, “You couldn’t have okay? I love you, and I made my own choice voluntarily.”

“How is it voluntary if he threatened you, Baekhyun?” Chanyeol whispered, his thumb rubbing circles into Baekhyun's ribs.

“Because… he was going to… touch me anyways. My choice was to spare Jongin from more harm, because I knew even if I didn’t… go along with it that he would most likely go through with his threats and also be… more aggressive with me.

He kept… asking if I was done.. the whole time, an- and my skin crawled.. my scalp hurt so bad, it bruised.. but I-I told him to go to hell every time because there was no point… Jongin was already.. destroyed and I couldn’t give up the prison, our family is here, you guys were here. What more is.. he was already doing what he wanted anyways so what more was it to just wait it out?”

It was so silent all Baekhyun could hear was the sound of breathing onto his skin. Chanyeol warmth covering his whole front and he wasn’t scared at all, only slightly worked up on anger.. but that was a better emotion than sobbing.

He had told Yifan the truth. He was done crying over it, that man didn’t deserve his tears, and Baekhyun had no more to give- he had already given up too much of himself that he felt he had only recently gotten back.

“I read your journal, you know?” Kyungsoo murmured, scratch over his bare chest to Baekhyun's right. “I didn’t… I didn’t tell you because you said we could read it so long ago but I- I want to tell you that I think you’re wrong.”

Baekhyun furrowed his brows, looking over Kyungsoo's features, “About what?”

“You think… or you thought you were ruined- no… we thought it too, I’m not going to lie to you and act like we didn’t think, at least for a split second, that you weren’t coming back, Baekhyun.

But… I’m getting off topic.. uh- when I was reading it I was just thinking… how proud I was, how happy I was because you’re not ruined at all. You’ve been… you’ve been bitten, abused…. molested, but you’re still… so put together. The issue I think is… that you don’t recognize them as you winning.. you see them as events that had negative effects- and I completely agree- but they’re also.. they also make you stronger, stronger than any of us, that’s for sure.”

“How?” Baekhyun gulped, wiggling a bit under Chanyeol's weight to move his leg between the elders.

“Because now… there’s not much that can really take you apart. Like just now, you have no issues talking about such a… disgusting rape, and sure, right after you were very scared- but we weren’t much different.

But now, when people do things like that.. they assault, they abuse, they ridicule.. it's not much different to what you’ve already faced and that alone makes you more likely to pick yourself up. If something like that were to happen to.. anyone else, they would not be as quick to jump back to their feet as you, that's a fact, not a guess- it’s a guarantee.”

Baekhyun laughed quietly even though nothing was funny, “Kyungsoo, in my journal you can tell I wasn’t put together at all. The sounds of a clock going off made me… quite literally scream, because my dad came home at exactly five, no matter what. For years I couldn’t… sleep without Taeyong by my side, I had to keep my window open because.. because I somehow tricked myself into thinking one day I would leave. I have scars… all over, in my head, on my body. I’m like… I'm the least put together out of anyone here.”

“No.” Chanyeol disagreed, “No, baby, you’re the most. I don’t care what anyone thinks, what I care about is that you recognize that you’re the strongest one here. Everyone can see it- but you.”

“Let me.. let me tell you guys something.” Baekhyun whispered, a slight smile on his face even though his eyes were watering. “When… when I first started seeing Yixing I told him that it was hard to… to be so cared for, I didn’t believe caring came with- with people loving you, because I didn’t think I deserved it. I- uh- I explained that my mind worked off of… off of a give and a take kind of thing.

I-I don’t know how to say this without sounding like I didn’t love and appreciate each of you at that time… because I did, even if I didn’t say it.. or show it very well. But it was so many months ago, I obviously… thought a little differently.”

Jongin shifted up onto his elbow, “We know, and that’s okay, whatever you say… it doesn’t depict anything now, it’s not going to make us change our minds or anything of the sort.”

Baekhyun smiled, the hand on the back of Jongin's neck pulling him down for a light kiss onto his soulmates nose, the elder nuzzling into his neck affectionately.

“Everytime I wanted something I felt compelled to… offer something.. anything. Hyung said ‘sexual favors’ but it wasn’t.. purely like that at all. It was more of a mix, and a test… like- I- I was testing myself but also… testing you guys, to see how far… I could push before you just- just took because that’s how I thought it was supposed to be.”

“Why are you telling us this, babe?” Chanyeol wondered, pulling himself off of Baekhyun, sitting back on his heels and laying a blanket over Baekhyun's lower body.

Baekhyun laughed softly, “Because I want to be honest… and I want you guys to know it’s not like that anymore. I touch you when I want to, I… love you, and I-I love the attention, I love giving you guys attention, and there is no exchange. Not everyone wants something, and we want to care for each other. There is a difference between now and then… and it’s good, and we’re happier now.”

“We are happier now.” Kyungsoo said softly, throwing his arm over Baekhyun's stomach, “Because you love us so much, it’s a good feeling, Baekhyun.”

“Yeah.” He smiled, agreeing. “It’s nice.”

“God, I know that everything you just said was important, and I listened- swear. But my mind just somehow always gets caught on when you confess your love to us, my heart races, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol murmured, pulling Baekhyun up from the mattress to hold his back, pressing soft kisses to his face.

“Me too.” Baekhyun giggled, throwing his arms around Chanyeol's neck, “But.. you know what’s better?”

The eldest hummed, softly coddling the younger with innocent kisses.

Baekhyun sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, moving to straddle Chanyeol's legs, “When we- when we make love, my heart is really full, Hyung. Let’s do it again.”

“Oh, god.” Jongin groaned, “You're a goddamn fiend, I love it, lay him down, Hyung.”

~~~~~~~

“Okay, so listen.” Yifan began, “We’ve cleared out cell blocks B and D.”

Baekhyun was momentarily distracted at Jongin's nip at his jaw at the mention of cell block D, faking an annoyed expression to lightly hit the elders arm. Jongin only beamed, wrapping both his arms around his smaller soulmates shoulders and pressing his lips to the reddish marks barely hidden beneath his ear.

“Depending on how this goes, those blocks will be used for the Woodsbury people, and if needed block A can be cleaned out too.”

“What?” Taeyong suddenly demanded, standing to his feet and staring at Yifan as if betrayed, “Hyung, we can barely protect each other- I won’t- I won’t protect a bunch of.. sheltered people. They can’t fight, they probably can’t even look at a walker without crying.”

“We’re not cruel, Taeyong.” Yixing said softly, “Leaving them there… that would be leaving them to die. We can teach them, they can still learn.”

Taeyong huffed in disbelief.

“Tae, you wouldn’t have left Jisung, so why do you want to leave them? Jungkook is there, Yoongi is there.” Chanyeol wondered.

“I know them.” Taeyong growled, “I know who they are and they’re good- they’re not useless, those people… they- they could be dangerous.”

“Protecting your family is different, and we understand that, Taeyong.” Baekhyun cooed softly, a slight scolding on his face, “We’re not asking you, we’re telling you that these are defenseless people, innocent people. What if Yifan Hyung just left us in the forest well over a year ago?”

“That’s different- we were strangers, he had every right to leave us.” Taeyong said firmly, “I don’t want anyone else, we could barely get you and Hyung back, we don’t need anymore people to care about!”

Baekhyun gulped, a sudden cold was rushing under his skin even though he was very warm against Jongin's chest. “It’s not a bad thing to open up and care about people, just because you’re scared of getting attached doesn’t mean we should abandon all hope.”

“That’s bullshit!” Taeyong yelled, “That's bullshit and you know it.”

Baekhyun huffed, standing to his feet, “Fine, me and you can talk outside; come before you wake up Jisung.”

He raised a brow and walked towards the stairs that led to the upper walkways, “Well? Now, Taeyong.”

Everyone watched in shock at Baekhyun's anger, such a parental expression as he grabbed Taeyongs arm that everyone knew the kid was about to get the scolding of a lifetime.

“Damn, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so mad.” Luhan laughed in shock.

Chanyeol smirked, “It’s pretty hot, I should piss him off.”

The group laughed. “God you guys are so whipped it’s unreal.” Minseok snorted, rolling his eyes at Jongin's agreement to Chanyeol.

“Baekhyun is a very lovable person.” Taehyung commented, cleaning his knife and not even looking up.

“Should we be worried about you, kid?” Kyungsoo teased, “You gonna steal our boyfriend? Sorry to break the news to you, but we’re going to find a ring soon.”

“Holy fuck.” Sunmi gawked, “You guys have to let me help, oh please!”

Jongin snickered, ears slightly red at everyone’s congratulations, “Sure, what do you have in mind?”

~~~~~~~

“Hyung, are we going to talk, or are we just going to sit here?” Taeyong asked, visually calmed down.

Baekhyun had sat him down on the balcony for a good ten minutes without talking, only looking out at the yard and the walkers that were clawing at the fence.

“What do you see when you look out here, Taeyong?”

The teenager frowned, “Walkers… I don’t know? Grass?”

“Well, I see empty space.” Baekhyun turned to look at him, brushing a long strand of hair behind Taeyongs ear, “It’s all empty, and it needs to be filled. We have the supplies, we have walls, we can help people, so why don’t you want to?

You don’t want to get attached and it’s a sentiment I agree with, but you know that overall there is only the small group of us that we need to care for. Those people… they will come here of their free will, and we will not promise anything to them, we won’t guarantee their safety- because that’s not even a guarantee to us. All we can guarantee is a bed, walls, a chance. So why can’t they have a chance when Yifan Hyung gave us a chance well over a year ago?”

“People are cruel now.” Taeyong whispered, pulling his knees to his chest, “Since the world ended… They are cruel and we can’t trust them.”

“People have always been like that, we don’t need to trust them, we only need to give them an opportunity.”

“No, it’s us or nobody now. It’s us or them, and it’s us or die. And I won’t let anyone near us enough to hurt anyone in this building.” Taeyong said firmly, pushing his long hair out of his face as Baekhyun stared at his profile. “I won’t let anyone hurt you again, Hyung.”

Baekhyun laughed softly, scooting closer so his thigh pressed into Taeyongs. “Taeyong, you can protect me all you want and I can protect you all I want, but… your views are wrong. It’s not that people are bad now, suddenly, if they are like that.. then they have always been.

Those people… they’re too far gone, but we’re not, and that makes us good people because we don’t shoot first- ever. You never shoot without giving them a chance, because you never know… maybe they’re just like us and just wanted to live.”

Taeyong frowned, a small noise of confusion as he laid against Baekhyun's shoulder, “I won’t trust any of them.”

“Nobody is asking you too, bug.” The elder said softly, arm wrapped around the teenagers back.

“Hyung… you don’t think I’m a child anymore.” Taeyong began, turning to search Baekhyun's face.

Baekhyun nodded, a small smile as he touched Taeyongs cheek. “You’re not, you haven’t been for a while. But… but Hyung wanted to pretend just for a while longer, because… because I wish I could have done better for you.”

“I want to know… what you always hide from me.” The teenager requested, “Everyone seems to know but me… you used to see Yixing Hyung all the time even before… You and Hyung were captured.”

The elder sighed, “If I tell you… it’s going to only make you upset and you’re going to be hateful, Taeyong. And you can be angry, you can be disgusted, but you can’t be hateful because it will make you do crazy things, I would know.”

“You killed dad.”

Baekhyun stiffened, looking at Taeyongs profile.

“I don’t really care about that, I pretend not to notice a lot, Hyung. But me and you are similar… we notice, and we don’t forget or forgive. I didn’t feel anything for him… he gave me toys sometimes, he gave us money, but.. I never knew him. But… I guess I want to know why.”

“Okay.” The elder nodded, licking his lips and leaning back against the fence covering the balcony, “Dad never liked me, remember? You even told me so before.”

“Hyung… I’m so-“

“It’s fine, honestly, I could give a shit less.” Baekhyun assured, “And I honestly don’t know how to tell you this, and I’ve been meaning to figure out a way but… you said yourself, me and you are similar and I like people to get to the point, so listen up because we’re not talking about this again.”

He paused, turning to make sure Taeyong was paying attention. “That man we’re at war with, he raped me Taeyong. You’re not stupid, you know what that means, and if you didn’t I’m sure you asked Yixing Hyung and he told you, right?”

Taeyong nodded slightly, face pale and he looked like he wanted to take back asking in the first place.

“Dad was no different. He hurt me Taeyong, and I always was scared he was going to hurt you… so, so I never told anyone, that’s why I killed him.”

Baekhyun stared at Taeyong for a few minutes, waiting for a reaction, but the teenager didn’t seem to give one. He just kind of looked away, staring at the walkers on the fence.

“You know what, you’re always right Hyung. You’re right.” The teenager suddenly commented, no emotion, standing to his feet.

Baekhyun frowned, copying the younger. “About what?”

“Being hateful… it might make me do crazy things. I would have killed him too.”

Baekhyun only stared, even as Taeyong collected his gun from the floor and walked back inside he just stared.

And he didn’t know what the words were supposed to mean, or if the reaction was good or bad.

He truthfully had no idea how to read Taeyong anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What crazy things can he do...


	31. We Did It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Invaded.

Baekhyun shoved a box into the trunk of the car, a brown one labeled JISUNG.

“That’s it?” He heard Sunmi ask.

“Good to go, just go far enough to be hidden, got it?” Junmyeon ordered.

Baekhyun sighed, straightening out his shirt before turning to pull Taeyong into a hug, “You protect them, okay?”

Taeyong nodded before jerking away, “Got it, you should go get ready.”

Baekhyun frowned, chewing his lip, “Okay, I love you.”

“I love you.” The teenager whispered, opening the passenger door, “And you know I’m going to protect you.”

“I’m not asking you to, Taeyong.” He replied, a nervous gulp as Taeyong messed with his holster. “I’m asking you to be safe and to keep Sunmi and Jisung safe.”

“I will.” And Taeyong slammed the car door.

Luhan whistled, draping himself over Baekhyun's shoulder, “I’ve never seen him this mad before. What’d you tell him yesterday?”

“The truth.” Baekhyun whispered, “I guess I should have taken my own advice and just kept it a secret, huh?”

“I guess we’ll find out.”

~~~~~~~~

Baekhyun gulped, he hated when they separated.

With a bunch of them, like himself, hidden in different parts of the prison, or within the treeline, he felt slightly calmed. But he was mostly anxious.

Chanyeol and Yifan were the closest ones, awaiting for the entrance of the group that was no doubt coming.

And most of them were hiding in the treeline. He was crouched down behind a tree trunk, a rifle in his hand, armor weighing him down much more than he liked, but it was needed and he knew it.

Pretty much as soon as noon hit, he heard it.

The sound of trucks racing full speed on the road only a half mile from the entrance to the gate, louder and louder.

And if begun.

Based on the timing, it was also right for Yifan to assume he had no plans of ever accepting a deal in the first place, because it was only barely noon, he never even went to check if Yifan had brought Baekhyun- not that it really mattered.

But it was extremely unhonorable of him. Yifan’s group wouldn’t ever make deals that didn’t follow through.

They were shooting now. The trucks parking, people standing in the back and shooting down the walkers that they- ironically- had let into the first fence anyways.

One of the shooters hit a far watchtower, the glass shattering. Baekhyun was glad it wasn’t one of the main ones.

Then, he saw the man in power. The Governor, looking around in anger, probably because he didn’t hear any screams or gunshots responding to theirs- he wanted a fight.

All that Baekhyun had to do now was wait, rely on Chanyeol and Yifan to set off the alarm, alerting them to their chance to shoot.

But it felt like forever, hiding behind a tree, just watching these people- these strangers pull the metal gate that closed off the door to cell block C from its hinges with a truck.

It was sickening to know these people were coming in to invade their property, their home.

The only reassurance as the last of them walked in was that he could move in now.

Baekhyun looked at Taehyung beside him who nodded, silently motioning to one of the side towers.

The elder gave Taehyung a thumbs up, moving as silently as he could towards the prison. They had time, it would be a bit with The Governor taking his sweet time to lead people through the prison, ready for blood.

But, lucky for him, Baekhyun and his family were just as ready- if not more- for his blood.

Taehyung grabbed his sleeve, pointing up at the watchtower, and down at a small cubby.

Baekhyun didn’t need to think twice before squeezing himself into the cubby, he knew Sehun liked to go to higher places, him and Kyungsoo were probably already up there.

The sound of flash grenades sounded and Baekhyun couldn't help his laugh.

People screamed, the alarms sounding and Baekhyun knew how horrible gunshots bounced off of those cement walls as he heard them ricochet.

Baekhyun felt a bit bad about shooting the people as they came out. Some shooting back, not that it matter because he was armored head to toe, some screaming and tripping over their own feet, others running straight into walkers mouths as they tried for the trucks.

And the man of the night was pathetic.

Baekhyun wanted the kill so badly, and he saw other shooting at him too, but The Governor was a smart man, and he used his own people like a shield, hiding.

At one point, Baekhyun narrowly missed, skimming the man’s temple. He saw the red drop and felt satisfied for a moment, but he swore The Governor looked tight at him, recognized him which should be considered impossible given Baekhyun's helmet was huge and the plastic covering his eyes was scratched and tinted slightly.

But he could feel he knew it was Baekhyun. And Baekhyun couldn't give two fucks, at least he had gotten to see some blood fall, it wasn’t a kill, but it still felt nice.

“We did it!” Sehun yelled at the top of a walkway.

Baekhyun beamed through his mask in disbelief as the trucks pulled out, tearing up their yard- but they had won so what did it matter.

“We did it!” Baekhyun laughed, setting his rifle on the ground and turning to hug Taehyung.

“Baby!”

Baekhyun laughed, the only warning he got was that exclamation before Kyungsoo was wrapping him in his arms. “We did it.”

“We did.” The younger laughed, cupping the elders face.

“Let me take this goddamn mask off so I can kiss the shit out of you.” Kyungsoo growled, already unbuckling the strap beneath Baekhyun's chin.

~~~~~~~

Baekhyun smiled as they pulled the last body out of the cell block, only a few had died inside, either taken out by Chanyeol, Yifan, or eachother- it didn’t really matter.

He walked through, pleasantly surprised it wasn’t as messy as he thought, it looked almost untouched, a few tables and broken glasses probably from the citizens fearful escape.

“Hyung!” Taeyong cried, running into the cell block with Jisung in his arms.

“Don’t put him down, there’s glass- actually let me just.” Yixing mumbled, snatching the baby out of Taeyong’s hold before gently patting the teenagers shoulder.

“Hyung, I'm coming to Woodbury.”

Baekhyun sighed.

“I did my job out there. Just like all of you. Took out one of the Governor's soldiers.”

Sunmi suddenly stepped up, “One of his soldiers? A kid running away? He stumbled across us.”

Baekhyun felt his head spinning.

“No, he drew on us.” Taeyong argued with a glare at the older woman. “It's what I was there for. I'm going with you.”

“That kid was scared. He was handing his gun over.” Sunmi said firmly, staring directly at Baekhyun.

“Taeyong said it was in defense.” Jongin called, “He said he drew.”

Taeyong nodded, crossing his arms.

Sunmi sighed, “I was there. He didn't have to shoot. He had every reason not to. I'm telling you he gunned that kid down.”

Baekhyun stared at Taeyong in disbelief, the teenager only looking up at Sunmi as if extremely offended. “Give me your gun.”

“What?” Taeyong gawked, looking at Baekhyun in disbelief, “I defended the prison! I defended you.”

“No, you killed an innocent person, give me your gun, now.” His brother said firmly, hand out and opened. “You’ll get it back when we think you can understand wrong from right, give it to me right now.”

The teenager looked near tears, mouth curled in anger as he unclipped the holster around his waist. “It's kill or be killed, Hyung.”

Baekhyun frowned, holding Taeyongs shoulder. “Look at me- you’re too cold. We don’t kill the living, not if they’re innocent. I love you, okay?”

Taeyong scoffed, pushing past him and into his cell.

“I did the right thing, right?” Baekhyun murmured to no one in particular, hand gripping the holster in his hand.

“Yeah.” Kyungsoo assured, throwing his arm around Baekhyun's shoulders and pressing a kiss to his temple, “We’re with you, Baek.”

~~~~~~~~

Baekhyun was supposed to go with them to receive people, and to help collect whatever goods Woodsbury had, but he was sore.

It was his fault- mostly- for not choosing a lot of cover, and now he was somewhat regretting it.

Not fully, but his ribs fucking hurt.

He hadn’t even realized he had been shot, the armor doing it's job and protecting him so well he hadn’t even noticed, that or it was because he had been so focused and just didn’t notice.

“Baek, I love you to death, but I really want to strangle you.”

Baekhyun smiled cutely at the medic, hissing slightly before putting a pretty smile on his lips again, “Thank you, Hyung, love you, Hyung.”

Yixing snorted, shoving his head playfully, “Don't suck up to me, sweetie, focus on sucking up to your boyfriends when they get back.”

“I didn’t feel anything.” Baekhyun pouted, holding his arms up for Yixing to clip the gauze, “Swear, I didn’t feel anything. It just feels a little sore.”

“Well that’s what happens when you have a bunch of little circle bruises from being shot at.”

Baekhyun whined, flopping back onto the medics cot, “Be nice to me, Hyung. They’ve been gone for hours, I’m worried.”

Yixing only laughed, patting the youngers bare hipbone before laying down beside him.

“So, what are you going to do about Taeyong?” The medic questioned a few minutes later.

Baekhyun groaned, laying his palm over his bare waist, fingers touching the gauze, “I have no idea, he doesn't know what he did wrong. He’s never killed a person before. Jongin said he told him before they left that it was because they had so many chances to kill The Governor and they never took them, so he wanted to kill before something else happened. I have no idea what to say because I… understand his point of view, but it’s too narrow minded, right?”

“We need to keep in mind that Taeyong is also growing up in a world like this, Baek. He's going to have different ideas about things, for him- survival is first, and morals are second.”

“I don’t know, Hyung… I honestly don’t know. What if… what if he-“

The sound of the gate opening had the two sitting up, bright smiles as Baekhyun grabbed a shirt off the floor.

“Finally.” Yixing commented, pulling Baekhyun out by his wrist as he struggled to toss his shirt on.

The first thing they noticed was a school bus.

It was huge, and so many people were coming off of it, some looking afraid, others nervous, but Baekhyun couldn't help himself from gawking.

“Jimin?” He laughed in disbelief as the man climbed off the bus, “Do you remember me?” Baekhyun asked, an excited smile on his face.

Jimin looked a little different than he remembered. He was thinner, looked tired, but he still had the childlike aura about him. And he still held Yoongi's wrist in a death grip.

“Of course- I’d remember that face anywhere.” The man flirted, a wink at Baekhyun before he pulled the other into a hug.

Baekhyun laughed, waving over Jimin's shoulder at Yoongi.

“Don’t even come see us, thanks Baek.” Kyungsoo drawled, gently pulling Baekhyun out of Jimin's arms.

Baekhyun laughed, wrapping himself around Kyungsoo's waist.

Jimin looked at the two with a small smile, “You look different.” He said to Baekhyun before looking between the two of them.“You look good together.”

“I know, right?” Kyungsoo teased, gently steering Baekhyun away. “We have a few open spots in cell block C, only for family.” He threw over his shoulder before pulling Baekhyun along.

“So, anything?” Baekhyun asked, arm around Kyungsoo's waist as he pulled him towards a huge military vehicle.

“Governor went psycho. Shot up his own team for running away. We got lucky though, Jungkook was smart and hid under a dead body, I didn’t even see him, but apparently he had no idea he was attacking us when he was placed in the raid team, and he and Taehyung are soulmates.”

Baekhyun beamed, waiting for Kyungsoo to continue.

“Chaeyoung didn’t make it, but… we got Mark and Lucas, and a few people wanted to take their chances on the road. We have supplies- a lot, and we have people now.”

The younger nodded, lightly chewing his lip before smiling up at Jongin and Chanyeol who were passing supplies out of the back of a truck. “Hi!”

The two looked confused for a second before smiling down at Baekhyun.

“Hey, gorgeous, you want up?” Jongin purred, leaning over the side of the truck, offering his hands.

Baekhyun giggled, reaching up for him, using his grip to climb the back of the truck. “I saw Jimin and Yoongi!”

“Yeah?” Chanyeol smiled, a bead of sweat rolling down his temple as he passed a box down, “Wait until you see Jungkook, that kid grew like a weed, still shy as shit- I don’t know how he’ll deal with Taehyung.”

“I dealt with Nini so he’ll be fine!” Baekhyun chirped getting a playful whine from said man.

“Ah! You little shit.” Jongin whined, cupping the back of his head and playfully biting at his cheek, “You love it.”

“I do.” Baekhyun agreed, wrapping his arms around Jongin's neck for balance, “And I’m sucking up!”

“Oh, god, what did you do?” Kyungsoo said with false disappointment, accepting a box from Chanyeol.

“I may- or may not- have gotten a few bruises, Yixing Hyung covered them for me.”

Chanyeol huffed, pausing his task and turning to put his hand up the back of Baekhyun's shirt, feeling the gauze before lightly rubbing his spine, “We’re putting you in a fucking bubble, that’s final.”

Baekhyun only giggled and threw himself at him to see his handsome grin again.


	32. Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sunshine and rainbows.

Baekhyun nodded to what Jongin was saying even though he was focusing on writing in his notebook and truthfully wasn’t paying as much attention as he should.

“- and Sunmi said she was going to start holding story time in the library for the kids, Yifan asked Chanyeol if he wanted to be his second since Junmyeon said he wanted to-“

“Wait what was that?” Baekhyun frowned, setting his pen in his notebook and placing it on the ground.

Jongin smiled, reaching for his hand since he wasn’t distracted, “Junmyeon Hyung stepped down, he said he wanted to be more of a helper than a planner, said it wasn’t him.”

“No, about Yeol.”

“Oh, Chanyeol was offered the spot as second, it doesn’t really mean anything but… I think it gives him more of an influence around here.” Jongin shrugged.

“And he didn’t tell me?” The younger pouted, “I mean… I don’t care if he accepts but… he didn’t tell me.”

Jongin frowned, pulling Baekhyun to sit sideways on his lap, running his palm over the nape of his neck. “We have… a lot going on right now, it probably slipped his mind. Last time I saw him he said he hadn’t seen you in a bit, too busy building the animal pins and the food square. Luhan is very particular about building, love.”

Baekhyun stuck his lip out, pressing his forehead to Jongin's jaw and playing with his soulmates fingers, “I haven’t seen him… only for meals or when we sleep.”

“Oh, baby.” The elder cooed, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's temple, “Don’t be upset, it hurts Hyungs heart.”

The younger only pouted harder, pulling Jongin's hand under his chin.

Jongin sighed, running his fingertips over Baekhyun's Adam’s apple, “We’re getting animals, aren’t you happy? The pigs are just a few miles away, Sehun said he saw a horse too- a horse, baby.”

“I do want bacon.” Baekhyun admitted, still an upset edge to his tone as he pressed his lips to Jongin's knuckles.

“We’re getting lots of meat now, doll. Hyung gave us permission to hunt within five miles, we’re going to set snares and maybe we can get some bigger things during summer, it’s getting so hot again.”

“I like it when it gets hot.”

Jongin laughed, “Yeah? Why’s that, dollface?”

“Because.. I get to see my boyfriends shirtless.” Baekhyun whispered under his breath before turning to throw his arms around Jongin's neck, “My boyfriends are very attractive, did you know?”

“Oh my god.” Jongin uttered in shock, “You have boyfriends? Oh god, are you cheating on me, doll?”

Baekhyun threw his head back with a laugh, pulling away to nod with fake seriousness, “Yup, sorry Nini, but we can’t be together anymore.”

Jongin sniffed dramatically, making such a fake crying noise Baekhyun couldn't hold back his snort. “Give me a goodbye kiss, just one.”

“I guess.” Baekhyun sighed, a playful roll of his eyes before he was pressing his mouth to the elders.

Quickly Jongin was rolling him onto the mattress, and Baekhyun knew he wasn’t going out of their cell for a while.

~~~~~~~

The yard was really pulling together nicely.

The newer people, while most of them had zero experience on the road or with walkers, some of them did have very handy additions to the prison.

Like a man in cell block E who was a metal worker, using prison machinery, he was able to reinforce the entrance with the help of a woman from D who had engineering experience.

Now, the entrance that was once a rolling fence, was now a solid red metal, a metal chain pulley that opened and closed it. It had taken them close to two weeks to put it together, but it was extremely worth it.

“Hey.” Baekhyun said softly, walking up behind a familiar broad back.

Chanyeol wiped his face on the shirt in his hand, bare abdomen flexing beautifully, and if Baekhyun weren’t slightly upset with him he would probably have been touching them already. “Hi, beautiful. What are you doing?”

Baekhyun shrugged, leaning on the wooden pin being built for the pigs. “I came to see how things were going.”

“They're going good, sweetheart, you should go inside or at least put some sunscreen on, your pretty little face is going to get all burnt up.” Chanyeol said softly, pinching Baekhyun's cheek gently.

The younger sighed, turning his head to look up at the cemented area of the yard just outside of cell block D’s entrance, watching Sehun hammering on the roof of the structure that would soon be a food serving area.

There were just so many people now, and many more to come, it would be useful in the long run to ration like this rather than let people individually dig into their food supply.

It was a bit selfish of them, but given their groups trust issues, only members of cell block C-Baekhyun's block- were allowed into the pantry and armory unless otherwise stated, and only they had keys to every part of the prison.

New additions to Baekhyun's block were only members they had been with before, family reunited. Mark and Lucas had mainly been taken under by a woman named Luna and no one really had any issues with the two teenagers… but Baekhyun could see Taeyong didn't really relate to them anymore.

Taeyong still tried to hang around the adults even though they all tried to get him to go out and play with the other kids. But everyone understood, Taeyong has been through so much more, seen so much more than all of these children and teenagers- he couldn’t befriend or relate to them.

“Trying to send me away so soon?” Baekhyun wondered softly.

Chanyeol frowned at the tone, setting down his sweat covered shirt and reaching for a metal water bottle at his feet, “Of course not, my love. Hyung just doesn’t want you to get a sunburn.”

“I haven’t seen you in days, Yeol.” Baekhyun replied, leaning his elbow onto the wooden post and pressing his palm to his cheek.

“I saw you for breakfast just a few hours ago.” The elder corrected softly, “What's wrong, moon?”

“You saw me for thirty minutes and left, Chanyeol. You haven’t kissed me in over a week, and you’re too busy to even stop working to acknowledge me.” Baekhyun replied, motioning to the nails resting in the man’s hand as he was speaking to him.

Chanyeol furrowed his brows, “I’m helping, Baek, I’m really putting this place together- me and Yifan Hyung- I’m sorry you feel this way, but I’m doing this to protect you, to make this better for you.”

Baekhyun clenched his fist, crossing his arms, “You didn’t even tell me you're apparently second in command now, can’t you take a break for a minute? It’s been weeks and you’re still working, take a break and see me- see anyone else but Yifan!”

“I’ll take a break when I’m finished, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol said firmly, “I didn’t think it was that big of a deal, I was basically second anyways.”

The younger scoffed and knew he was getting worked up for basically no reason, but he wasn’t used to not getting attention from Chanyeol, he wasn’t lying when he said Chanyeol hadn’t really paid attention to him in weeks- not since all of these plans suddenly came about.

“Fine, don't come see me then! Because it’s not like I came out here because I missed you, and I wanted you to rest!”

His volume was extremely loud, he knew that, but he had never really fought with them often- but every time he did it always happened to be with Chanyeol, because the eldest was always too protective, too giving, and apparently it was to the point where Baekhyun was going to explode because him and Chanyeol always got along- but when they butt heads it always felt like it was such a big deal.

Maybe because he loved the elder way too much, and Chanyeol loved him way too much, they couldn’t agree because they both wanted what was best for the other.

“Baekhyun.” Chanyeol sighed, dropping the tools in his hand to cup Baekhyun's jaw, “I miss you, I do, and I love you, but you need to calm down, I’m busy okay? And there’s so much to do, in the meantime go spend time with the others- go see Kyungsoo or Jongin-“

“I see them all the time, I wanted to see you!” Baekhyun growled, turning his head out of Chanyeol's palm, “Whatever, I guess I don’t want to see you anyways.” He added, wrapping his arms around his waist and turning to stomp towards the cell block.

On top of the metal roof being built Sehun raised a brow, “What the hell? Baekhyun and Hyungs fight?”

Luhan whistled, tossing a hammer up for him, “Well I’ll be damned, never thought I’d see the day they finally got annoyed with the other.”

“Damn, did you guys just see that!” Zitao called, carrying a box of nails and screws to Minseok, “Baekhyun is going to beat the shit out of Yeol, holy shit.”

“For real?” Minseok wondered, “Shit, I needa tell Yixing about this, what’d he say?”

~~~~~~~~

Jisung bounced across the communal area of cell block C, running after the toy car Taeyong was kicking around for him.

“Hyung, I heard you and Yeol Hyung got in a fight.” Taeyong commented, folding a pile of laundry.

Baekhyun huffed, shutting his book, “We’re not fighting.”

“Heard you were.”

“Tae.” The elder sighed, looking up at Kyungsoo walking in from watch, immediately smiling at Baekhyun. “We’re not, okay? Drop it.”

Taeyong shrugged as if uninterested, leaning down to push Jisung’s toy out from under the bench, “Noona said she had some comics for me, I’ll see you later.”

“Be good.” Kyungsoo teased, ruffling his hair as he walked past Taeyong.

“Yeah, yeah, Jisung had candy today, so good luck.” Taeyong cackled, immediately dashing towards the door.

Baekhyun snorted, reaching up to cup Kyungsoo's cheek to press a kiss to his mouth. “That kid.”

“What a brat.” Kyungsoo added, kissing his lips harder before pulling away, intertwining their fingers and scooting to press his thigh to Baekhyun's.

“Jisung, don't touch, no.” Baekhyun scolded the baby across the room, “You're going to get hurt, don’t touch.” He said louder, making Jisung pull his hand away from nearing the fan as if really hurt.

“Hyung, ow!” He cried, eyes watering.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, “Come here, Hyung will kiss it better.”

Jisung faked a watery pout, climbing up onto the bench, “Ow!”

Baekhyun laughed, pressing a kiss to his finger that wasn't even red, “All better, go play.”

“Soo Hyung, kiss!” Jisung said firmly, holding his whole palm up and towards the older.

Kyungsoo beamed, grabbing the baby’s palm and blowing a raspberry in it until Jisung giggled. “There, all done!”

Jisung giggled, climbing himself out of Baekhyun's lap and running around looking for his toy car.

Kyungsoo hummed, pressing his chin to Baekhyun's shoulder, “Should I say it, or are you going to?”

“Say what?” Baekhyun wondered, smiling at the kiss to his ear.

“Everyone is saying you and Yeol got in a fight, about what?”

The younger sighed, turning and throwing his legs over Kyungsoo's thighs, “I just wanted to see him, and he didn’t want to see me.”

“I’m sure that’s not true at all, love. Chanyeol loves you so much, he's probably just stressed out. He feels responsible, you know, since he accepted the role.”

“He didn’t even tell me, Jongin told me this morning.” Baekhyun revealed.

Kyungsoo laughed, pressing a kiss to a love bite below Baekhyun's ear, “I can see that, Jongin always goes for the same spot, hm?”

Baekhyun whined at the teasing, ears reddening as he lightly smacked Kyungsoo's chest, “Hyung, I’m serious!”

“I know, babe, I know. Seriously, you guys are fine, Chanyeol is just stressed out and it’s stressing you out too. He does want to see you, I’m sure.”

“It doesn’t feel like it.” Baekhyun pouted.

~~~~~~~~

It had always been an issue, for months it had been, but the combination of him being stressed out after fighting with Chanyeol was probably adding to it.

His medicine had side effects, they knew that, and usually Yixing took the time to give him a check up, and everytime was usually okay.

Sometimes his blood pressure would be a little high, and his weight was always low, but it wasn’t things Baekhyun usually had to worry about.

But recently he felt like it was out of control. He was getting light headed, and he was way more shaky than normal.

Yixing told him antidepressants weren’t made for him to be on forever, but Baekhyun really didn’t want to be off of them. Even a few months ago when they upped his dose to a whole pill, he never thought they did anything, but the thought of not taking them anymore just gave him so much anxiety.

But he knew it was an action he needed to consider doing, especially at times like now.

All he had been doing was moving kitchen supplies out to the serving area that was finished beautifully.

All it took was one second, his hand shaking uncontrollably that the glass just… slipped. It echoed off of the cement square, off of the walls outside the prison and he was embarrassed as shit.

Immediately dropping to the ground to collect the pieces, ears red as he heard people's conversations stop all around because he accidentally dropped a glass.

“Baek, did you hurt yourself?” A hand pressed to his spine, rubbing soothingly, “Hyung, you okay? Did you cut yourself?”

“I’m okay, Jungkook, thank you though… um, can you go get Yixing for me?” Baekhyun asked under his breath, using the edge of the counter to stand up, setting the broken glass down for now. “Just.. tell him I want a check up, please.”

“Okay... um, Kyungsoo Hyung and Chanyeol Hyung are coming, just so you know.” The younger mumbled, taking off towards the cell blocks.

Baekhyun sighed, rubbing his temple. Everyone the past few days was acting like he hated Chanyeol or something, he’d been warned multiple times ‘Chanyeol is coming.’

He didn’t hate Chanyeol, and he honestly had no idea why he was so mad, but he was sad Chanyeol brushed off his feeling like that.

It was an issue they all knew, that Chanyeol was badly tempered and when he saw things a certain way he had a hard time seeing it any other ways, and Baekhyun was the same so they clashed- never like this though.

“Babe, you okay?” Kyungsoo asked, concerned, his skin slightly tanned from being in the sun as he pulled a folding chair over to Baekhyun.

“I'm just… a little shaky.” Baekhyun whispered, taking a seat and grabbing Kyungsoo's hand immediately.

Chanyeol stood behind the chair, resting his hands on the metal behind Baekhyun's neck, “You should rest.”

“You should rest.” The younger shot back, a growl in his tone, he didn’t mean to sound so rude, but he was so annoyed with Chanyeol.

“Baekhyun.” Chanyeol sighed, “I’m responsible for these people too.”

“You’re responsible for me.” Baekhyun huffed, folding his arms and sighing in relief when Yixing came out with a worried expression and his medical bag.

The elder frowned, leaning down to press his forehead down on the crown of Baekhyun's hair, “Can we not do this right now? I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Baekhyun didn’t have a response, there was nothing he could say to change Chanyeol's mind anyways, ever, and that was an issue in itself.

“Sweetie, are you okay? Jungkook came running in like someone was shot or something.” Yixing fussed, laying his bag on the table and immediately pulling instruments out.

“My hands… they were shaking really bad and I dropped a glass, and I’ve been pretty light headed lately.” Baekhyun mumbled, scratching his arm, “I just wanted you to check.”

Yixing frowned immediately, pulling a blood pressure cuff out and a stethoscope, “More than usual? Just recently?”

Baekhyun shrugged a little as Kyungsoo rolled up his sleeve, worry written all over his soulmates face, “Maybe? I think so.”

Baekhyun felt a sigh against his hair from Chanyeol and ignored it, also ignoring the few people looking at them concerned.

“Um…” The medic mumbled, squeezing the pump on the blood pressure monitor, looking slightly confused, “Your blood pressure is low… which is odd considering that it’s usually slightly high…. it can explain your fatigue and lightheadedness, deep breath, sweetheart.”

Kyungsoo sighed as he watched Baekhyun get a stethoscope pressed to his chest, sharing a concerned look with Chanyeol as he squeezed Baekhyun's wrist. “You should go get Jongin.” He suggested.

Chanyeol frowned. “I’m not leaving, you do it.”

Kyungsoo resisted the urge to roll his eyes, looking around the courtyard, a lot of people were staring, but he didn’t know many of them yet. “Hey!” He called, “Hey, Mark, can you go get Jongin? He’s on watch at the south tower.”

The teenager looked slightly confused at being called out before nodding, grabbing his soccer ball and his brother by the sleeve and running off.

“Baek.” Yixing mumbled, fingers resting on Baekhyun's pulse so discreetly they weren’t sure if he was checking it or if he was just comforting him. “Are you having chest pains? Anything like that?”

Baekhyun frowned, moving his arm to rub his temple, “I don’t know, not really.”

“That’s good.” Chanyeol said immediately, staring at Yixing over Baekhyun's hair, “That’s good, right? That means he’s okay.”

“He’s not okay, Chanyeol.” The medic argued softly, “His blood pressure is pretty low, he needs to gain weight and I’m wondering if it’s his medicine. Long term effects are different for everyone, but it could be the reason he hasn’t been able to gain any weight. That could help all of this… his lightheadedness, shakiness, confusion… it could all be because of his low body fat.”

Baekhyun felt his eyes watering as he realized what Yixing was suggesting, leaning forward with his head in his palms and elbows on his knees. “Hyung, I can't… maybe it’s just for a little- you said it yourself that I usually have higher blood pressure.”

“We’re not taking that risk, Baekhyun, you don’t need them.” Kyungsoo said firmly, pressing his hand to the nape of Baekhyun's neck, rubbing his thumb over his soft skin.

“Sweetie.” Yixing sighed as he put his tools away, “If your blood pressure stays low you could have so many problems, it’s really not worth it… you're too thin and it’s affecting you too much, it has to be your medicine, you don’t have an appetite.”

“Baby, it’s nearing eighty five degrees out and you’re still wearing a sweater and jeans, it’s because you don’t have enough fat, love.” Chanyeol said softly, touching his shoulder blade.

Baekhyun hissed, tears falling down his face as he jerked out of his seat, “It’s because I don’t want people looking at me- you know that!”

“Shh… babe, calm down.” Kyungsoo cooed softly, “We’re just talking, there’s no need to cry.”

Baekhyun gulped, pressing his palms to his eyes and trying to stop the tears when arms wrapped around his waist, the man slightly out of breath like he ran. “Why is he crying? Baby, why are you crying love? What happened?”

“Jongin… he’s just a little sensitive right now.” Yixing said quietly, “We told him some things he doesn’t want to hear, but his health is at risk.”

“Hyung…” Baekhyun sniffed, turning to bury his face into Jongin's neck because Jongin was always on his side, all the time. “Shh, don’t cry, sweetheart.” Jongin cooed, immediately cupping the back of his head with blazing eyes as he looked at the three, eyes demanding an explanation.

“His medicine is making him sick, Jongin.” Chanyeol sighed, “His blood pressure is low, you know he’s tired all the time and worn out easily, Hyung thinks it’s because he can’t gain weight anymore from the medicine, and he needs to. Baekhyun doesn’t want to stop taking them.”

“You don’t know that.” Jongin called firmly, “Maybe- maybe it’s a vitamin thing, maybe his medicine is fine- if he says he needs it then he does.”

“Jongin.” Kyungsoo cut in firmly, patting Yixings arm and silently telling him it was okay to leave with the growing aggressiveness. “All of us know that’s not it.”

“Hyun-Hyung I’ll have nightmares, I need them.” Baekhyun cried, soft whimpering into Jongin's neck.

Jongin growled, “He says he needs them, he’s fine.”

“It doesn’t matter what you say, Jongin.” Chanyeol said deeply, “He’s not taking them anymore, Yixing is the doctor here, not any of us. Baekhyun is strong, he doesn’t need them anymore.”

“Since when do you get to make all the decisions?” Jongin scoffed, taking a step back holding Baekhyun's head to his neck, “You haven’t seen him in weeks and suddenly you’re all about making sure he’s okay? What about his mental health, huh? You want him to have panic attacks and flinch at shadows? You don’t get to make those choices for him.”

“Hey, that’s a separate issue between him and Baekhyun, you can’t bring that up right now.” Kyungsoo scolded with a disappointed look.

“Stop babying him for one second.” The eldest demanded firmly, “Baekhyun is an adult, he can speak for himself, Jongin. You know we’re right, but you always only side with him because you hate seeing him cry- and we do too- but this is serious, okay? You need to stop babying him and let him talk.”

“Oh, fuck you.” Jongin growled, hands picking up Baekhyun's legs to wrap them around his hips when he felt the smaller let out a rather scared sounding cry. “How can he defend himself when you’re too far in your own ego to consider anyone else’s point of views?”

“Don’t curse at me.” Chanyeol snarled, “You can be mad all you want but those meds are gone, and there’s nothing you can say because his health is more important right now, I’m not going to sit here and just let him wither away.” And with that, the eldest spun on his heel, steaming all the way to their cell, his intentions obvious.

Kyungsoo rubbed his temple, “Baek.” He whispered softly, reaching out to touch Baekhyun's cheek, leaning over Jongin's shoulder to look down at him. “You understand we’re doing this because we care about you, right?”

Baekhyun only turned his head away, wrapping his arms tighter around Jongin's neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There relationship isn’t perfect, despite how it may seem.


	33. Jealousy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not all fun and games.

To say Baekhyun was pissed the next day was an understatement. All of his medicine was gone when he went to take his dose and he had pretty much had a mental breakdown.

Chanyeol and Kyungsoo weren’t understanding, he needed them. His nightmares were going to come back soon and he knew it, he was going to start getting scared easily, afraid of his own shadow as Jongin had put it yesterday night.

God, he was absolutely pissed.

They had no right to make that decision for him, and Chanyeol had already been on his shitlist for the past week, now Kyungsoo has just made him so upset.

Baekhyun knew he wasn’t obligated to defend him, not like how Jongin always did, but he still expected Kyungsoo to at least understand his point of view because that was something he couldn’t count on Chanyeol to do.

But he didn’t, and that alone just hurt his feelings.

Which was why he was at the outer fence, stabbing walkers through the fence because for some reason, ever since they had gotten new arrivals, they had been getting waves of walkers.

It was always few and far in between when they messed with the outer fence before all these Woodsbury people came, but they had mainly been focusing on a certain area, and it was so odd.

“Hey, beautiful.”

Baekhyun huffed, groaning as he pulled his metal rod out of a walkers head, “I don’t think Yixing Hyung would appreciate hearing that.”

Yifan snorted, walking over to help stab through the fence, “I think I’d only be in trouble if one of your boys heard, Xing is very vocal about his love for you, it’s almost concerning.”

The younger laughed under his breath, “Well, you don’t need to worry about all of them, only Jongin would come.”

“Yeah… I heard about that. I wanted to talk to you- I have been meaning to actually.” The leader sighed, dropping his fire poker and motioning for Baekhyun to follow him.

“Hyung… I really don’t want to hear it right now.” Baekhyun sighed, leaning the rod against the fence and crossing his arms as he walked beside the leader.

“Yeah, well, I’m never the best with timing or words. You know that.”

Baekhyun snickered, a small smile on his face as he nodded for him to get on with it.

“Look… I didn’t know it was that big of a deal asking Chanyeol to take Junmyeons place, if I did I would have asked you first. He’s been really busy, you know how he is… once he starts something he needs to finish. So… I guess what I’m saying is you shouldn’t be mad at him, I asked him to take some responsibility for these people, I’m the one that you should be upset with.”

“It's not… your fault, Hyung. It’s something me and him always fought over… he gets too involved and… doesn’t realize how it affects other people. It’s not your fault that we both butt heads, I’m not mad at you.” Baekhyun said softly, tucking his hands into his zip up pockets.

Yifan sighed, throwing his arm around the smallers shoulders, “I know. I heard he didn’t respond all that well… he told me he didn’t react very well, but… Chanyeol likes to be right, and you do too. You guys are more alike than you think.”

“Yeah, well, Chanyeol doesn’t know how to respond when you point out things he doesn’t like, he gets defensive, I cry. I guess that’s one difference.”

“Yeah…” The leader cleared his throat slightly, “He cares about you though, and he loves you… I’m not telling you what to do and I’m not defending his… recent actions, and you guys are soulmates for a reason… but.. you know, sometimes even we need breaks from each other.”

“You… from Xing Hyung?” Baekhyun laughed, “He's like an angel… I’ve never even seen him without a smile on his face.”

Yifan chuckled, his hand dangling on Baekhyun's shoulder, “Believe it or not, but me and Xing used to fight so much, people used to think we were the worst fated soulmates ever because we broke up and got back together so many times… but, it overall made us stronger… we’re better together now because of that I like to think. It helped us understand each other so much more.”

“It’s not my… not my business, but doesn’t it… hurt? Like… how can you stand to see him when you weren’t together? I don’t know if- I know you’re not suggesting we take a break- but I don’t know if I could handle it.”

“Of course it does.” Yifan admitted, “Back then we were young too… teens and we dated other people… it- it wasn’t fun at all, and I’m not saying Chanyeol would… especially because I know he’s like completely obsessed with you, but yo-maybe you should give it some thought, maybe just a few days to let each other think about things. It’s none of my business and I’m definitely not some sort of therapist, but… in my experience.. it’s really helpful to get some air.”

Baekhyun hummed, chewing his lip as he watched Luhan set up breakfast outside.

“Like.. this one time Yixing totally broke up with me because I was late to pick him up from class.” Yifan blurted with a laugh.

Baekhyun snorted aloud, covering his mouth to hold in his laughter. “No way!”

“No, really! I was ten minutes late and he lost his mind!” The leader smiled at Baekhyun's laughter, “Seriously! I think he dumped me more times in high school than I ever showed up for class!”

~~~~~~~

Baekhyun had been thinking over Yifan’s words all day. He was truthfully considering it, maybe it would do the two some good.

Especially because he was so mad at Chanyeol right now. Right at this moment he was completely livid because his stomach was cramping so badly as it had been more than 24 hours since he had taken his medicine and Yixing said he was probably starting withdrawal.

And this shit hurt.

He wondered if this was what he heard Sunmi screaming about to Sehun the other day when the younger man went to bother the shit out of her as usual and had gotten absolutely torn into.

It was funny then, but now Baekhyun really felt for her even though he was sure this wasn’t the same feeling- because Sunmi seemed way more irritated than he was.

“Hyung, can I go outside the fence?”

Baekhyun sighed, one hand on his stomach as he leaned onto the side table he had moved in front of him, “What for Tae?”

“The kids are stupid and threw the ball over both of the fences. That one little girl in cell block D did it.”

“You’re not getting your weapons back, go ask Taehyung to go get it for them.” Baekhyun replied, pressing his cheek to his palm.

Taeyong huffed, crossing his arms, “Hyung, when am I ever getting them back?”

“When you can behave.” The elder said immediately, looking out the cell door with a sigh.

“Hyungs would have given it back by now.”

Baekhyun found himself boiling, “Well too bad, Taeyong. They're not in charge of you, I am. You listen to what I say, now go play- you don’t have permission to go outside the fence, so don’t ask again.”

Taeyong gave the dirtiest of looks as he stomped out of his brothers cell, almost running right into Chanyeol had the elder not moved.

“What was that all about?” Chanyeol questioned, walking straight to the bookshelf and messing with something out of Baekhyun's sight.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, placing his forehead on the wood in front of him. “Wants his gun back.”

“Huh… maybe we should talk about it, it’s been over a month, he seems better.”

“Oh yeah, because his fit definitely shows that he’s better. I don’t have patience for this right now, Chanyeol. I’m going through withdrawal… apparently.” Baekhyun spat, moving his back against the wall and pulling his knees to his chest.

Chanyeol glanced at him at his tone, turning to shut their cell door. “Baekhyun, I know you’re upset with me right now, but I’m not apologizing for caring about you, okay?”

“Okay, but you can’t apologize for not coming to see me for days Chanyeol? What about basically telling me you didn’t have time to see me?”

“I didn’t say that.” Chanyeol said immediately, “Don’t do that shit where you make me feel bad for you, I didn’t say that at all.”

Baekhyun frowned, “That's how I took it.”

“Well, then that’s not my fault you misinterpreted it, Baekhyun. I had been working for days, and suddenly you noticed, so don’t act like I’m at fault when you didn’t even notice- too busy with Kyungsoo and Jongin, right?” The elder prompted with a deep tone, taking a seat in the chair across from the bed, crossing his legs.

Baekhyun felt like he was being scolded, and he hated it. “What? You’re jealous? Since when does it matter if I’m with Kyungsoo and Jongin? They're my soulmates and your best friends, you pushed me off to them because you were so busy even when I wanted to see you!”

“Maybe I could tell you didn’t want to be with me!” Chanyeol yelled, “Did you ever consider that I can tell when you want them over me? There’s one of you and three of us, you can’t spare attention to us equally!”

Baekhyun's eyes watered as he stood up, crossing his arms only a few feet away from Chanyeol. “That’s a separate thing we can discuss, you’re just pulling up random stuff now, because you don’t know what to say! At least I can apologize, Chanyeol! I’m sorry for wanting your attention, and I’m sorry for getting in your way when you were busy!”

“What? So when I mention that I’m jealous it’s not something I can say right now, huh?” Chanyeol growled, the office chair hitting the wall behind him as he stood up, “Tell me, Baekhyun, you don’t give a fuck about me unless I’m right there ready to give you attention, because you need it so much!”

The youngers nostrils flared as he stepped back, an inkling of fear settling in his stomach because he had never seen Chanyeol so mad at him before. “Chan-“

“Because you can’t stand not getting reassured every two seconds! You need my attention, but you’re not willing to give any of yours!”

“Ch-Chan-“

“You can’t be mad at me for not giving you attention for once, Baekhyun! God, I shouldn’t have to reassure you so damn much! It’s exhausting, you know!”

Baekhyun was shaking as Chanyeol grabbed his chin, it wasn’t a harsh grip, but Baekhyun couldn't decipher anything more than that he was afraid.

“You’re so much work to be with, baby. And I love you, okay? But it’s so hard, it’s so hard. It’s fucking exhausting sometimes, Baekhyun!”

“You’re scaring me!” Baekhyun wailed, his hands pulling Chanyeol's hand from his face and immediately, dropping himself to the floor, “Stop! Stop! I don’t- y-you’re scaring me!”

Chanyeol was blinded. He was stressed, and he was tired. “See? Look at yourself Baekhyun. I’m not babying you anymore, you wanted to fight and you wanted to talk, so talk, don’t just sit here and cry!”

“I want a break!” Baekhyun pulled a blanket to his lap, pushing himself into a corner, his face red and tears soaking the collar of his shirt, “I-I don’t want to- I want a break Cha-Chanyeol… you’re scaring me.”

The elder felt his heart dropped as he shook his head, “No! No, that’s not how this works, we’re soulmates- we-we don’t get breaks, Baekhyun. We’re going to sit here and fight this out.”

Baekhyun sobbed, “Y-you said you’d never hurt me, I-I want a break.”

“I’m not hurting you, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol whispered, eyeing him in disbelief, “I’m telling you the truth, I’m not hurting you, baby.”

Baekhyun wheezed slightly, pulling at his collar as his breath came out in pants, immediately putting his head between his knees, “P-pan-panic-“

“Fuck, Baek..” Chanyeol cried, reaching out to touch his back, “Calm down, baby.”

“Don’t- don't touch me!” The younger yelled, shoving his hand away, “Get out!”

“No, no, calm down-“

“We’re not together!” Baekhyun's scream probably echoed down the hall, but his lungs were burning and if he didn’t yell he probably wouldn’t have enough air to get his point across. “I want- don’t want you- get out!”

“Baek-“

“He said get out, goddamn it, move Chanyeol.” Jongin yelled, practically shoving Chanyeol to the ground as he jumped to the bed, “What the fuck, what did you do?”

“Breathe, Baekhyun, you’re okay, baby. You’re okay, just breathe, count to ten.” Jongin mumbled, his eyes not leaving Chanyeol as he pulled Baekhyun into his lap. “I’m so proud of you. I know- I know it hurts, it will end soon.”

Jongin only looked away to pull the blanket out from Baekhyun's face so he would get more air, brushing the hair out of his face as he listened to the painful wheezing, “You’re not in danger, baby, you might feel scared, but you’re not in danger.” He cooed, “Tell me what you need, do you want medicine? Come on, baby, it’s almost done.”

Baekhyun hissed, holding his sides and pressing his forehead to Jongin's collarbone, “S-stay- stay.”

“Shh, I’m not going anywhere.” Jongin said immediately, “You just breathe, just breathe, doll.”

Baekhyun tired himself out eventually, fatigued and exhausted, passing out onto Jongin's arms within minutes of Jongin and Chanyeol staring at each other, one a glare and the other watery.

“The fuck did you do- Taeyong came and said Baekhyun was screaming.” Jongin hissed, laying Baekhyun down on his side.

Chanyeol gulped, “I was- he wanted a fight, Jongin, I told him the truth.”

“And what is ‘the truth’? God, he hasn’t had a panic attack in months, Chanyeol. What the fuck did you do?”

“I told him… that it was hard to be with him, and it is, Jongin. You know that, and- I-I love him to death, you know that too, but you know I get mad, and you know Baekhyun is sensitive, okay? St-stop looking at me like I’m a stranger, you think the same things.”

“I’d never scare him.” Jongin shot back with a disappointed glare, “You can’t hang things he can’t fix over his head, what’d you do? Yell at him? Scream at him? He’s practically half your size, Chanyeol. You probably scared the shit out of him, did you consider that?”

Chanyeol gulped, standing up and grabbing a duffle bag from on top of the bookshelf, “I was mad, Jongin. Of course I didn’t consider that. He-he said he wanted a break, and I was blinded, okay? I- I don’t know what to do.”

Jongin furrowed his brows in disbelief, “He didn’t.”

“He did, he doesn’t want to be with me, and- and I can understand… now. But, fuck… I real-really scared him, huh?” Chanyeol's voice tapered into a whimper at the end, almost like he couldn’t believe himself as he walked to the dresser and threw clothes in. “Will- can you just tell him that I’m sorry when he gets up- god, I-I’m going to- uh- move to the empty cell by Taeyongs… fuc-“

“Do-Don’t cry, Hyung… I- me and Kyungsoo will talk to him for you, okay? I’m sure… I’m sure it’s because he’s getting off the medicine, it probably wasn’t that bad, right?”

“No-No, it was bad. Jongin… I-I really fucked up.” The elder cried into his sleeve, “I was so rude to him… I forge-t, you know? That… that Baek doesn’t like yelling, but I get so angry. I-I told him he was exhausting and I- I mean… I don’t mind working to be-be with him, I just- I wanted to hurt his feelings I guess, I don’t know what I was thinking- I just- I wanted a reaction.”

Jongin sighed, heart hurting for his best friend, but he didn’t know if he should feel bad, because he didn’t exactly know what happened. “We’re soulmates, we’ll help you work things out… stop crying, Hyung. Stop, you can’t sit here crying when… when you need to be figuring out how to get him back, okay? I’m sure you said a lot of things you didn’t mean- we all do that when we’re mad, but… you can’t be doing this to him, Baekhyun doesn’t deserve it, Chanyeol. And you don’t deserve to feel guilty but… but maybe you need to work on your anger before you talk to him.”

“The problem is…” Chanyeol sniffed and wiped his nose on his sleeve as he threw his duffle over his shoulder, “... he’s not going to want to talk to me, and I… I can’t blame him.”

~~~~~~~

Baekhyun's cramps were minimal the next day, probably because he had slept a good fifteen hours or so. But his mouth was so dry.

He was lucky they had just added a filtration system and now had water pumping in from a creak directly outside the fence. It was still dirty, they still had to boil it, but now they usually boiled and contained it, no more runs for water anymore.

For some reason the only decent water was that for the showers, but there was talk about maybe getting some sort of filter for the shower heads too, ever since a survivor had turned on a faucet and the water was murky. It was about time they had those filters changed apparently, Baekhyun's group probably used up all of the clean water with their year being at the prison already.

“Jisung, get your little butt back here, now.” Baekhyun ordered, reaching out to grab the baby’s shirt and pull him back to his side.

“Ball!” Jisung cried, pointing at the kids playing in the middle of the field.

Baekhyun sighed, reaching down to pick him up, “I know, Hyung will play with you, okay? You don’t want to play with Hyung anymore?” He faked a sad face.

The baby gasped, “Hyung pun! I play!”

“Oh, thank you.” Baekhyun laughed quietly, pressing a kiss to Jisungs cheek, “Let's play eat all of Luhans snacks, huh? Go get him.”

Jisung giggled, legs getting ready as Baekhyun set him down and pointed him to Luhan eating a bag of chips seated across from a woman Baekhyun had no idea her name. “Go, go!”

Baekhyun made sure he saw Jisung climb into Luhans chair before spinning around and walking the fence.

The weather was so nice recently, but with nice weather always made the walkers scent so much worse than that during winter time.

Or, maybe, Baekhyun could smell it because he was already slightly nauseous and he really, really wanted his medicine right about now.

He walked up to Kyungsoo's side, reaching for one of the tools on the fence to help him trim the garden.

“Good morning.” Baekhyun mumbled. He hadn’t seen Kyungsoo last night, probably dead asleep, but Jongin was always quick to tell him what was going on.

“Hey, I wanted to talk to you.”

Baekhyun sighed, sitting himself in the dirt as he trimmed the plant of peas. “Oh god, why must you start like that?”

Kyungsoo laughed, pressing his knee into the youngers, “That’s reassuring… I was… I wanted to make sure that… you know- you weren’t going to.. break up with me too. That sounds so selfish, you- you know what I mean”

“Why do you think that?” The younger sighed and turned to look at him. He had purposely been avoiding the topic all morning, but he should have known people would be asking.

“I- you know- I didn’t disagree when Chanyeol took away your me-“

“That’s not why we’re not together right now, Kyungsoo.” Baekhyun whispered, “You know Chanyeol and I… I we don’t… we’re not on the same page sometimes.” He paused to set his shears on the dirt before sitting back on his palms, “So.. so- you know… you don’t need to worry.”

Kyungsoo frowned, looking genuinely confused. “So… why did you? I haven’t asked Chanyeol and… Jongin doesn’t like to detail things, you know how he is… so, why- fuck, I’m not telling you to do anything because… If that’s what you want then that’s your choice, but… I can’t imagine you doing that to me. So… so I know it must have been for a good reason.”

Baekhyun chewed his lip, nodding slightly, “I mean, I’d like to think… It was for a good reason. But, I don’t know, I love him so much… but he-he.. I looked at him and I was- I was scared, Kyungsoo. And you know- I don’t take that lightly. I really, really thought he was going to hit me or something and… I don’t know, I just can’t do it anymore.. pretending that we don’t have issues. And I know most of them are because of.. my trauma, but I don’t know if I can work it out with him right now.”

“Chanyeol would never hurt you.” Kyungsoo said immediately, “Baek, he’d never hit you, ever. It sounds like I’m defending him, and I’m not- if you were scared then I know you must have been absolutely terrified, but Chanyeol would never hit you no matter how hard you pushed him.”

“You don’t know that, Hyung.” Baekhyun said softly, “He was saying… such rude things to me and I- I guess I said rude things to him, but… I know I’m hard to be with, okay? But I don’t… I don’t want to be screamed at, and Chanyeol… he looked so mad, and.. and he touched my face and it scared the shit out of me.”

Kyungsoo frowned, reaching out to pull Baekhyun's head under his chin, “He gets worked up, I know, and I know you don’t like aggression, but… but I don’t know… just give it a bit, okay? Either way, you guys are going to see each other so I mean, just be civil, I’ll tell the same to him, but what I heard from Jongin was that Chanyeol felt like shit. I mean, I can’t even imagine, I’d probably lose my mind if you broke up with me too, so just think about it… maybe talk to him.”

“Well, I’m not- I’m not going to have a panic attack again or anything if that’s what you’re worried about. But I’m not… ignoring him or anything, I love him, it’s pretty hard to ignore someone you’re in love with.”

~~~~~~~~

And hard it was.

Baekhyun found it hard to ignore him, it seemed like he was everywhere he went, and maybe Chanyeol was purposely doing so, because the next two days that’s all Baekhyun noticed, and it was so irritating.

He already spent his nights crying because he missed him, he didn’t want to constantly be seeing him. It wasn’t like he was trying to move on or anything- that thought was ridiculous, it was impossible. But… he wished he had that sort of composure.

Because Chanyeol always made his chest burn, always sent goosebumps onto his skin because he was so handsome, and funny, and Baekhyun missed him even when he had two other boyfriends he should be focusing his time on.

At least now, he mainly focused on helping out, and making friends with the Woodsbury survivors.

Like now, he was walking alongside a man he had thought seemed pretty decent, he was nice, a builder, and he was funny. Baekhyun enjoyed his company.

“And then, when we were setting up the fortifications on the north side that little blonde girl kept getting in our way.”

“Huh?” Baekhyun mused, “Lizzie? The one that always has flowers?”

Jiyong nodded, reaching down and plucking flowers from the grass. “Yeah, she's an odd one, isn’t she?”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun frowned, “Taeyong told me he was going to start watching out for them, how the hell did she get past the second fences? She’s not supposed to go out there, maybe I should talk to her.”

“Definitely, also, I think she probably slipped past when we had it opened and Taeyong.. he's the taller one, really long hair?”

Baekhyun hummed, “Yeah, my brother, he’s very protective of the prison, doesn’t really get along with others though, so… yeah if you try to talk to him, he probably won’t talk to you.”

Jiyong laughed, standing with a patch of flowers in his hand, “Weird, you’re so nice. Here, for you.”

The younger smiled, ducking his head shyly as he accepted them.

Meanwhile, Chanyeol was tapping his fingers against the wooden table, legs crossed as he looked across the yard. “Is it just me or.. or does that man seem like he has a crush on Baekhyun?”

“It doesn’t matter what you think, Chanyeol.” Junmyeon called softly, “He can do what he wants, you’re not his boyfriend, remember? You need to stop focusing on him and let him think.”

“Like hell I’ll stop focusing on him, that’s my soulmate, okay? He’s still my baby, I’m not going to just… just sit here and let some pretty faced stranger flirt with him like that.” Chanyeol argued.

Jongin sighed, wiping his face with his shirt, “Hyung, just because they’re talking doesn’t mean anything, Baekhyun talks to everyone.”

“Oh, really?” Chanyeol drawled, eyes not leaving across the field, “Because he just gave Baek flowers, and now he’s touching his arm, Baekhyun doesn’t let anyone touch him he doesn’t know.”

The screeching of metal on the concrete sounded as Kyungsoo pushed his chair out to see, “Hyung, calm down, I’ll go interrupt them, then. Baekhyun is oblivious to… crushes and such, chill, I’ll go get him. Maybe he’ll come sit with us, hm?”

“No.” Chanyeol said immediately, standing up, “No, I’ll see if he wants to come over here.”

“That’s not a good idea!” Yixing yelled, sighing and sitting back when Chanyeol already walked off. “God, what the hell did he do? I’m so tired of listening to his pinning, can’t he just apologize and get it over with?”

Jongin shook his head, “Nope, Chanyeol fucked up real bad, even we don’t know how this is going to go down, Baekhyun hasn’t said a word about talking to him.”

“Well fuck.” Yifan commented.

~~~~~~~

Baekhyun laughed at Jiyongs joke, nodding along, “Yeah, Taeyong used to be really bad about that stuff too… is your brother here? Or is it just you?”

“Just me.” Jiyong said with a slight shrug, “That's okay though. I’d rather him not be here anymore… not have to witness this kind of life.”

“I used to think like that.” Baekhyun admitted, “But… now I’m just really grateful to be here… with my family, my friends, my sou-“

“Baekhyun! Hey, Baek, who-uh- who's your friend?”

Baekhyun visually stiffened at Chanyeol jogging over, “Uh-uh-“

“Hi, I’m Kwon Jiyong, you’re… Park Chanyeol, everyone talks about you, thanks for doing so much for us man.” Jiyong praised, patting his arm. “You and Yifan… real heroes, man.”

Chanyeol frowned and Baekhyun raised a brow at the expression. “Uh- yeah… yeah, listen I’m gonna just steal Baek-“

“Why?” Baekhyun demanded, Chanyeol's eyes flickering to the flowers in his hand for a second before his lips pursed. “Because we want you to sit with us, you know… council members and all…” Chanyeol lied, “Big plans, you know.”

“Okay, well they can wait, we were in the middle of a conversation.” The younger stated, lightly grabbing Jiyong sleeve, “Come along, I can introduce you to Taeyong, he’ll like you more if I do it.”

Chanyeol's hand twitched, jealousy pooling in his stomach, not realizing what he was doing as he reached out to grab Baekhyun's sleeve, “I really… I really insist, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun gulped, turning to send the kindest of smiles to Jiyong, “Looks like i'll catch up with you later, see you at dinner.”

Jiyong beamed like he had no idea of the tension in the air, “Yeah, yeah, of course… I’ll- I'll see you later!”

Baekhyun nodded, waiting for him to walk off before pulling his arm out of Chanyeol's grip and glaring at him. “What the hell are you doing? I’m making friends and you’re going to scare them away.”

Chanyeol frowned as Baekhyun crossed his arms, looking tiny as he held the flowers, “He didn’t want to be your friend, Baekhyun. He’s flirting with you, why else would he give you flowers, touching your arm when he doesn’t know you.”

“Why would it matter to you, Chanyeol? We’re not together, you have no say.”

“Like hell I have no say.” Chanyeol said immediately, “You’re my soulmate, my baby, I love you, Baekhyun. I don’t care if you say we are not together, I still feel the same.”

“I’m not… I’m not your baby, Chanyeol!” The younger huffed angrily, “I’m Kyungsoo and Jongin's- not yours! Can’t you just.. just get out of my head for a little.”

Chanyeol chest felt like he was punched as he leaned down to cup Baekhyun's face. “Look, I’m sorry, okay? I love you and I’m sorry… you don’t need- don’t need to flirt with people to get my attention, okay? I’m paying attention to you, baby. I’m listening now.”

Baekhyun didn’t have time to respond as Chanyeol pressed a kiss to his mouth.

As if that fixed anything. As if a half assed, jealous apology fixed that he had scared the shit out of him, that he had said Baekhyun was too hard to be with.

“Chanyeol.” Baekhyun whispered, mouth twisted as he noticed his flowers fell to the ground, “You can’t just kiss me and act like we’re okay, we’re not okay, we haven’t been okay for over a week.”

The elders smile dropped as Baekhyun bent down to collect his flowers, “What are you- I’ll get you flowers, Baek. If that’s what you want I’ll go find you the prettiest of ones, okay? I’m sorry, hey, hey, I’m sorry.”

“Stop touching me.” Baekhyun said softly, turning his head away when Chanyeol went to kiss his temple as if second nature, “God… Chanyeol… get out of my head, I can’t… I don’t want to do this with you.”

“Do what?” Chanyeol asked, sitting himself on the grass, “Beautiful, what are we doing? I love you and you love me… we can’t just… just not be together, I’m hurting and I know you’re hurting.”

Baekhyun blinked back his tears and sat on the ground, the flowers in his lap were wilted already, smushed. “You scared me, Chanyeol. You don’t want to baby me… and I’m not asking you too, but you were… so mad.. at me? I only… I only wanted to love you, okay? And you were- were so mean to me.”

“I know.” Unlike Baekhyun, Chanyeol didn’t try to hide his tears as he grabbed Baekhyun's hand, running his thumb over the smallers knuckles. “I’m so sorry, but I-I love you so much, Baekhyun, you know that, you know that I would never hurt you, right? Right, love?”

“I-I don’t know Chanyeol.” Baekhyun whimpered, licking his dry lips as he looked up at the elder, “I don’t know that.. that I can trust you not to do that again, I know you get mad… and I know that I made you upset, but… but you scared me, I trusted you and I felt like… like you stepped on my heart. I don’t even care about what you said, it was how you said it… how you looked at me, you’re fucking- fucking twice my size and you think I wouldn’t be intimidated, Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol dropped his head into his palm with a quiet sob, “You don’t trust me? Baekhyun- you-you don’t trust me? Me?”

“I don’t know… and that’s- that's the issue, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun said softly, “Look… look, I love you, okay?” He whispered, gently touching Chanyeol's cheek, “I love you so much, and that’s why it hurts so much… and I know I hurt you- am hurting you, and I’m really, I’m so sorry. And I appreciate everything we hav-had, but I can’t be with you… right this second.”

The elder whimpered and it was so painful Baekhyun could only wait as he looked up at him. “Give me… one more chance Baekhyun, please… please, Baekhyun. I’ll work on my issues, I swear I’ll never scare you again. Please, I’m begging you, baby, you know I never- ever beg, for anything.”

Baekhyun licked his lips and leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to the center of Chanyeol's forehead, wrapping his arms around the elder who immediately cried into his shoulder.

“Not right now, Hyung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I’m actually a bit excited about all the responses on last chapter. The reason this fight is a huge deal is because it’s kind of showing both Baek and Yeols flaws- and no relationship is perfect. Jongin clings, Kyungsoo is paranoid, and Chanyeol (if you noticed throughout the whole story) is very bad at holding his anger in. 
> 
> That being said, remember I said before Baekhyun is kind of an unreliable narrator, and remember that this story is mostly in his perspective- so, while he is very good at noticing other people’s flaws and his own, his views still may not be what is actually going on. 
> 
> So, Baek still has a lot to work through, and his anger at Chanyeol is to be expected because the man truly did scare him.... and wasn’t that the main thing he promised not to do? Does Chanyeol deserve this, or do you guys think he struggles just as much as Baekhyun does?


	34. Consider This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ve told you Baekhyun is unreliable sometimes.

Baekhyun tried so hard to be civil with Chanyeol as Kyungsoo had asked of him, but it was hard. It was so much harder than he thought because Chanyeol was relentless, constantly where Baekhyun was or needed to be.

“Walkers on the fence again.” Junmyeon sighed, rolling a small pen in his hand.

“We’ll call a meeting, council members.” Yifan replied, rubbing his temple.

Baekhyun pursed his lips, feeling slightly concerned for the leader as he knew Yifan must be extremely stressed out.

They had no idea what the walkers were doing recently, assuming they were coming to the fences because of the new additions. But still, it didn’t sit right with Baekhyun.

Kyungsoo frowned, throwing his arm around Baekhyun's shoulder and resting his lips to the youngers temple. “All we can do is pick them off anyways.”

Baekhyun heard the familiar heavy footsteps of Chanyeol nearing and hated that he wished he wouldn’t come so close- it was such a rude thought that Baekhyun immediately cringed.

“I’m going out to check snares, I’m not losing anymore meat to those fuckers.”

“I’ll go with you, Hyung.” Baekhyun's eyes flickered to Jongin and he chewed his lip nervously at the man’s head nod to Chanyeol.

“Alright, two outside the fence from now on- there’s too many walkers in this area- head towards the west side, it’s not nearly as bad.” Yifan ordered, patting Chanyeol's shoulder, Baekhyun thought it looked harder than he needed it to be and sent to leader a raised brow as Yifan walked away.

“Okay, dollface, give me good luck kisses.” Jongin said softly, gently brushing the hair from Baekhyun's face.

Baekhyun smiled, feeling Kyungsoo squeeze his side softly before he let him walk over to Jongin, wrapping his arms around the elders waist tightly.

“I legitimately think you guys are disgusting sometimes.” Sehun commented, no heat to the words as he turned and walked away, leaving them to themselves.

“We didn’t even do anything yet.” Kyungsoo sniggered.

Baekhyun laughed softly, grabbing the edge of Jongin's shirt and standing on his toes to press a sweet kiss to his boyfriend's mouth, “There, all the good luck you need.” He chirped happily.

Jongin laughed, cupping Baekhyun's face to press another soft kiss to the youngers mouth before letting him go, thumb brushing over his cheekbone. “Love you, be back soon, beauty.”

The younger nodded, pressing a soft kiss to Jongin's jaw, “Love you too.” He sent Jongin a cute expression before stepping away, releasing the others shirt and turning with the intention of cuddling himself up to Kyungsoo's chest before he needed to get back to work.

But a hard chest blocked him, a hand touching his chin softly and Baekhyun found himself flinching, stepping back slightly.

Chanyeol flustered, hands raising up as if to show he meant no harm, “I’m sorry, habit- I’m sorry.”

“Chanyeol…” Kyungsoo warned, and Baekhyun knew why immediately.

Because there was no ‘habit’ that Chanyeol was speaking up, he was fully aware of what he was doing. Testing and seeing how much he could worm his way in.

Baekhyun truly didn’t know if he was pissed with the actions, or if he was endeared the eldest was trying so hard.

Not that it mattered.

What mattered right now was that Baekhyun didn’t want to be with him, couldn't find it in him to even think it over when they had so much going on.

So, any other person would get the point- that they needed to give Baekhyun space, let him work his way back to the other.

But they knew Chanyeol so well. And he was so annoying, so hot headed, but he was impatient, and he was also sweet, and he needed affection too- affection he wasn’t getting from the one person he needed it from.

Baekhyun didn’t know how to take his determination, but it would be lying if he said he didn’t like to see it, and like to see Chanyeol following him around like a lost puppy ever since Baekhyun told him not now.

Which might have been a mistake considering Chanyeol had obviously taken that as a sign that any day now Baekhyun was going to come running back to him.

Baekhyun didn’t know if that was the truth either.

“Okay.” He said softly, side stepping the taller.

Chanyeol was very impatient, “Uh-uh- Baekhyun… aren’t you- you going to wish me luck too?”

Jongin sighed, almost rolling his eyes because Chanyeol sounded so desperate, but he couldn’t really blame him- not when it was for Baekhyun. “Man, lets just go.” It didn’t mean he wanted to see his best friend hurt though- no matter that he was constantly digging his own grave, causing his own pain everytime Baekhyun had to reject him.

Which was pretty often the past few days. Baekhyun was so nice about it, brushing his hand off his arm, gently reminding him that he didn’t have a right to try to kiss him right now, that Chanyeol didn’t get to pull him into his lap like the other two did- hell, he had seen Yixing do it to Baekhyun the other day, and Baekhyun had laughed and curled up next to his friend so happily that Chanyeol boiled.

Everyone was pushing him, he knew that’s what they were doing. Luhan kissing Baekhyun's cheek and Jimin's flirting that they used to take as all good fun was all feeling so much realer when Chanyeol had no way to stop it- because he didn’t have a say anymore, and Jongin and Kyungsoo were possessive, sure, but they could tell the playfulness way better than he could.

Or, it was just because he was so jealous he couldn’t tell what was playful or not- regardless that all of Baekhyun's friends had their own soulmates and happened to love the younger dearly, like best friends or family.

“Just… um- I’m not asking for a kiss… I’m- just asking for uh-I might not make it back, you know?” Chanyeol flustered, running a hand through his hair as Baekhyun stared at him unreadably.

“Yeol…” Kyungsoo drawled quietly, “You’re only hurting yourself, please stop.”

It wasn’t the truth, he was hurting all of them, but Chanyeol was pretty hard to explain anything to right now.

Baekhyun nodded slightly, eyes shaking for a second before he took a deep breath. “Good luck, Chanyeol. Come back before dark, please.” Then, he turned to walk up to Kyungsoo, throwing his arms around the man’s waist.

It was such a dick move. Baekhyun didn’t mean it to be, but he didn’t really know how to respond to Chanyeol the past few days, he never was good at confrontation- and everytime Chanyeol tried to talk to him that’s what it felt like.

“That’s it?”

“Dude.” Jongin growled, grabbing Chanyeol's elbow, “That’s it, stop.”

“Baekhyun… plea-“

“We’re not doing this.” Baekhyun hissed, mouth curled in annoyance, “You really… Chanyeol.” He lowered his tone so it would be kinder because if he yelled right now Chanyeol would probably yell too, and nobody really needed to hear it. “You can’t keep trying to kiss me, touch me, talk about it. We can be kind to each other, I love you, you’re one of my soulmates and I love you, but I need space, okay? Just give me some space.”

Chanyeol chewed his lip and Baekhyun felt horrible every time he had to let the elder down the past few days because he always looked devastated, always. “You treat me differently.”

“We’re not together right now.” Baekhyun said softly, feeling like he had said the words a million times when he hadn’t had to repeat them since Chanyeol had a jealous fit days prior. “Of course you’re getting treated differently, we’re not together… right now.”

“But… we’re soulmates.” The elder muttered under his breath, Jongin gulped and squeezed Chanyeol's arm, nothing but pity for one of his oldest friends. “We’re soulmates, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun's nose flared and he pushed his tears away, “We are, Hyung.” He then paused, “So good luck outside the fence and you better come back before dark.” He repeated, turning to walk quickly towards the cell blocks.

Kyungsoo stared at Chanyeol for a second, rubbing over his wrist where Baekhyun had been holding onto as if guilty. He shouldn’t have to feel guilty for being with Baekhyun when it wasn’t his fault Chanyeol fucked up. “You need to win him over before you keep trying these things. You can talk to him, he likes when you talk to him, but… but you’re pushing too much, you’re asking too much of him.”

Chanyeol sniffed dryly, “I am trying… I-I just don’t know how.” He admitted, gently shaking Jongin's hand off his arm, “Fuck, help me, please- I… I don’t know what to do, I can’t help it.”

“Well you need to learn.” Jongin said softly, patting his back, “Stop shoving him into corners, you’re only making yourself look like the bad guy because Baekhyun doesn’t look at you like he’s scared of you- not like he had- but… but if you keep doing this he might feel like you’re trapping him.”

“Baekhyun likes flowers.” Kyungsoo added, shoving his hands into his pockets, “He likes sweets, he likes you… so… so you can keep talking to him, seeing him… but.. you don’t need to push, Hyung. Just take what he offers and don’t ask for more.”

Chanyeol nodded, eyes watery as he looked up at the sky as if trying to keep his tears from falling, “The… the orange ones right? He likes the oranges ones and… and those fucking nasty red gummies?”

The two chuckled, “Yeah.” Jongin smiled and touched the back of Chanyeol's hair, “See… you can do this, you got this, man. You could always ask Taeyong for suggestions too… little ass kicker always has shit to say.”

“No.. uh- Taeyong is pretty upset at me.” Chanyeol admitted, “Can't blame him… but- it's… I don’t know, you know how Taeyong looks at people sometimes.”

“I’ll talk to him.” Kyungsoo promised, fingers skimming the prison keys in his pocket, “I’ll talk to him… be safe, guys.”

“Thank you.” Chanyeol muttered under his breath, “Kyungsoo… I love you, man, you don’t have to.”

Kyungsoo smiled gently, it was rare for them to be so blatant, they didn’t need to hear it from each other to know they cared about each other- they didn’t rely on affection from each other as much as they did from Baekhyun.

“Hey, Taeyong!” Kyungsoo called, sending the two a reassuring smile as he yelled to Taeyong who was reading at a bench. “I'll let you come help at the fence, if you talk with me.”

The teenager never rejected an opportunity to help.

~~~~~~~~

“Did you leave me flowers?” Baekhyun asked softly, hand holding a handful of wildflowers, walking into the kitchen.

It was pretty late, most people were sleeping, but Baekhyun's insomnia was pretty bad since he had gone off medication, and his soulmates usually stayed late for watch anyways, hence Jongin and Kyungsoo playing a board game so late.

“No, baby, but I wish I had to see that pretty smile.” Kyungsoo commented, a knowing look in his eye as he looked at Jongin while Baekhyun took a seat on the edge of the table.

Baekhyun laughed, “Look, these ones are really nice, maybe Min Hyung can figure out what type they are.”

Jongin hummed softly in response, reaching out to curl his hand around Baekhyun's hip without even looking. “Where’d you find them?”

“Just outside the door.” Baekhyun shrugged, running his finger over the stems before giggling to himself and faking a pout. “Unless someone is leaving you guys flowers, in that case- I’ll be pissed!” He cried dramatically.

They both chuckled, sniggering and looking at him amused.

“Tell us what you’d do, sweet pea, how jealous would you be, sweetheart?” Kyungsoo cooed, running his hand over Baekhyun's thigh, “What if someone thought your Hyungs were as handsome as we think you are, hm?”

Baekhyun fake gasped, “No way, Soo! My soulmates, I’ll be so mad! I’ll get just as possessive as Ch- I’ll be really mad.” He finished softly, shaking his leg and internally crying at ruining the fun.

“You’re right, dollface.” Jongin murmured softly, his hand searching for Baekhyun's, “Those flowers are very pretty.”

Baekhyun giggled, crossing his leg over the other.

Kyungsoo glanced at Jongin, a certain look in his eye and Jongin curled his lip up, shaking his head slightly.

The elder just brushed it off and pushed the board game to the side, reaching over to grab Baekhyun's hand, gently uncurling his fingers from the bouquet in the smallers grip, making Baekhyun let out a confused noise. “What are you doing, Soo?”

“We’re going to talk a little… okay?” The elder cooed softly, running his fingertips over Baekhyun's wrist and then setting the flowers to the side.

Baekhyun beamed, “Okay, I like talking to you.”

Kyungsoo licked his lip and wanted to hit Jongin across the table at his glare, he didn’t want to make Baekhyun upset anymore than the other. “Me too, sweetheart. But we’re going to have a serious conversation, okay? We’re being serious now, and we’re going to talk and nobody is going to get upset, nobody is going to fight.”

“Hyung.” Jongin scrunched his nose up slightly and tapped his fingers on the metal table, “It's not our business.”

“You’re just scared he’s going to get upset.” Kyungsoo hissed under his breath, “You can’t shelter him forever, that’s something me and Chanyeol agree on, so either leave or help me.”

“Why are you mad?” Baekhyun muttered, wringing his hands together and shoving them between his legs in an action they recognized as him getting anxious like he was in trouble.

Kyungsoo raised a brow at Jongin before turning to look at Baekhyun, “I’m not mad, that’s what we’re going to talk about, my baby. We’re going to talk a little and you’re going to think it over.”

Baekhyun shrugged slightly, pulling his lip between his teeth.

“Okay.” The eldest out of the three pulled his hand away from Baekhyun and saw the younger frown at him as if confused. “Okay, I talked to Taeyong earlier.”

The youngest only continued to look confused, “Okay, Hyung? Is this.. are we talking about his gun now? I don’t think he needs it.”

“No- no that’s not what we're talking about, Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo said immediately, “We’re talking about you now, I also talked to Yixing Hyung… we have… we wanted to tell you some things.”

At the amount of seriousness in Kyungsoo's voice Baekhyun felt his shoulders tense up, pulling his sleeves over his hands and staring at a spot on his pajama shirt.

“Taeyong… he said that when you fought with Chanyeol he went and got Jongin because he heard you screaming, right? That’s what he said, correct?”

“I guess.” Baekhyun muttered, glancing up at him cautiously, “I don’t remember, ask Nini.”

“You do remember, Baek. You know.” Kyungsoo said firmly, but his face was still gentle. “But the… the thing that worried me and Xing was that… sweetheart, Taeyong was right down the hall, and he said he could only hear you yelling.”

“Kyungsoo.” Jongin snarled, reaching out to grab Baekhyun's fingers, “It doesn’t matter.”

“It does.” The elder replied immediately, “It's not fair to Chanyeol, it’s not, Jongin. And I might be wrong, I’m not saying Baekhyun's fear wasn’t real, but I’m… I’m trying to understand.”

“Maybe he wasn’t listening.” Baekhyun whispered, staring at Jongin's hand in his lap. “Taeyong gets distracted you know.”

“You get distracted too.” Kyungsoo said softly, reaching out to grab Baekhyun's hand and pushing Jongin's out of the way, “Hey, listen okay? We’re just talking, I need you to pay attention.”

“ ‘Kay.” Baekhyun smiled slightly, looking up at Kyungsoo through his hair and the elder felt like dropping the subject because his soulmate was so cute, and looked so sweet. But that wasn’t his point right now.

“What I’m thinking… and I’m not saying you’re wrong, Baekhyun. The only two people that know what happened are you and Chanyeol. But… but… I don’t think Chanyeol yelled at you at all… maybe, maybe he raised his voice, maybe he looked mad. But he didn’t scream at you, baby. Don’t you think everyone would have heard?”

“You said… you said you weren’t saying I was wrong, but that sounds like what you’re saying. He yelled at me, Kyungsoo. He scared me.” Baekhyun said defensively, pulling his knees up to his chest.

“Soo, seriously… why- why would Chanyeol go along with it, blaming himself so harshly if he wasn’t guilty of at least something? You didn’t see it, Hyung. Baekhyun was shaking, and he was absolutely crying his eyes out.” Jongin cut in, laying his hand on Baekhyun's ankle despite Kyungsoo's look that screamed not to.

Kyungsoo tried to keep himself from yelling at Jongin to leave and let him handle it and instead pushed Jongin's hand away again, feeling like he was messing with fire. “Because he wants Baekhyun back, of course he’s going to think he fucked up horribly, he’s not going to say anything that might make Baekhyun even more upset with him- especially trying to say that he didn’t be aggressive with him. And I’m not saying he’s not guilty, either way he said rude things, but I’m just saying I don’t… me and Yixing think it wasn’t how it was perceived to be.”

“You think I’m crazy?” Baekhyun whispered in disbelief, eyes tearing up as he looked up at Kyungsoo, “Hyung… you-you think I’m crazy? You think I don’t know-“

“I’m not saying that. Don’t cry, hey- we’re not fighting and we’re not getting worked up. We’re going to talk about this and then we’re all going to go to bed and you’re going to have a good night and get so extremely spoiled, Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo explained, “I’m saying that sometimes.. you don’t know what’s real, my love. All you knew was that Chanyeol was saying things that… that you couldn’t handle- things that I admit were too much, but you’re not… you’re not healed, Baekhyun. Even if we want to believe you to be, you’re not. And I know that you don’t like to hear these things, and I know that I hate to tell you them-“

“Then stop.” Jongin's face was furrowed in anger as he wiped Baekhyun's cheeks with his sleeve, “You're upsetting him, Chanyeol should be the one talking to him right now, not you, not me. You say I shelter him and of fucking course I do. You-you and Yeol are too much, one of us has to look out for him, you can’t just shove him with a bunch of shit you believe and have no proof for- I’m not saying there’s not issues, we all have issues, but I’m saying that you don’t need to constantly remind him of them. Baekhyun is sweet, he’s beautiful and kind, he’s smart, and he’s our soulmate… you can’t just analyze him and tell him he’s not allowed to get worked up over it- Hyung, if he wants to cry, if he wants to yell, if he wants to be mad then let him.”

“He’s not perfect, Jongin. I’m sorry, Baekhyun, it hurts to see you so upset, it does. But you’re not perfect, sweetheart.” Kyungsoo muttered, “I’m not perfect, Jongin is not perfect, Chanyeol isn’t either- and that’s okay, I just want you to think… and to know that sometimes… sometimes things aren’t always how you interpret or read them, sunshine. Hey, I love you, I still love you to death, come here, baby.”

Baekhyun immediately moved to his side of the table at the offer of affection even though he felt like his feelings were hurt. But Kyungsoo didn’t call him a liar… he told him he… he didn’t know reality and Baekhyun didn’t know which one was worse.

“You’re upset right now.” The eldest said softly. Baekhyun's legs spread on the table in front of him as Kyungsoo rested in between his body, hand running up and down the back of his neck as Baekhyun's tears fell into his shoulder. “You know that, you can tell your own emotions apart, baby. But… I don’t know that you can read others very well and that’s okay, so… so I just want you to think and… maybe consider the thought that maybe- possibly Chanyeol wasn’t all that mean to you, okay? He gets mad easily, he’s temper is pretty bad, but has he ever yelled at you before? Not raised his voice, but yelled, screamed?”

Baekhyun shook his head into Kyungsoo's shoulder, and could hear Jongin getting up. Either to leave or to come see him he had no idea- he just knew Jongin hated when he got upset.

“Yixing Hyung said… maybe it was because of the abuse… maybe because you couldn’t handle it. You wrote in your journal that you didn’t feel anything, you told us you weren’t angry or upset, honey. That’s not good, we want you to feel, we want you to be here with us, and we know sometimes you’re not, babe, but we love you so much, okay? Stay with us, Baekhyun. You need to stay with us even when you’re scared.

Like on that van, right? You were so scared you didn’t know what you were doing. When all those walkers surrounded you, you just broke down and sat there, Baekhyun. And we don’t like to see you in pain, but we’d rather have you feeling something than nothing.”

“We’re going to work on it, doll.” Jongin said softly, Baekhyun peered over Kyungsoo's shoulder with swollen eyes and saw Jongin look away so he could focus. “It doesn’t matter whether or not Kyungsoo was right about if Hyung yelled at you or not, because your fear was real- I held you, and that was real fear. But.. but you should consider… whether or not Chanyeol really hurt you or not- did he really scare you as bad as you convinced yourself? Or was it just the situation itself that had you terrified? Just think about it, okay?”

“Ok-ay.” Baekhyun hiccuped slightly and Jongin was reaching over to pull him off the table as soon as he heard it.

“We’re okay, sweetheart. All of us are okay, we didn’t fight, right? We’re a little upset even though Hyung said we weren’t going to be, but that’s okay.” Jongin added, slightly swaying in a way that Baekhyun wondered if he considered him an actual child at this moment.

“Let’s go to bed, Baekhyun, Hyung will bring your flowers, okay?”

Baekhyun nodded slightly and Kyungsoo smiled, leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek, “Hyung loves you still, okay? We love you. Still our precious little Baekhyunnie.”

“Love you.” Baekhyun whispered, barely audible through Jongin's shirt.

The two only smiled. “There’s our soulmate, our sweet little one. Let’s get you to bed, beautiful.” Jongin praised, immediately making Baekhyun relax.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remmeber most of this is from Baekhyun’s point of view and that makes it biased. Baekhyun is an abuse survivor and he thinks and perceives aggression differently than others, and he has triggers. 
> 
> So. Did Chanyeol yell at him or not?


	35. Flooding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steps closer.

“My baby, my love!” Kyungsoo cooed, pressing kisses into his face.

Baekhyun snickered, hair splayed across the pillow as Kyungsoo held his wrists beside his head, “Hyung! Why are you always like this!”

Kyungsoo laughed, scooting down to press kisses down Baekhyun's bare chest, “Love you, baby, I need to make sure everyone knows our beauty is so well loved, hm?”

Baekhyun loved it, he did.

But he felt like Kyungsoo was being extra possessive as a favor to Chanyeol- who he had been friendly with ever since the elder had been scolded, begging Baekhyun for a chance.

The problem was Chanyeol knew Baekhyun had a hard time forgiving people, regardless that he loved Chanyeol so wholeheartedly, he had still hurt him- betrayed his trust.

It had been at least a week, maybe more, Baekhyun couldn't really recall, since then. Either way, he and Chanyeol weren’t… on bad terms per say, they were being friendly with each other, but Baekhyun still knew Chanyeol was trying to win him over.

He followed him around, asked meaningless things, spoke nonsense, only because he wanted Baekhyun's attention, only because he wanted to see him smile.

Chanyeol gave him things, anything he found on runs or in the forest, he offered it to Baekhyun first.

Sometimes, Baekhyun would catch him trying to hold his hand, maybe even press a kiss to his face or an arm around him, but… Baekhyun couldn't handle that, he would always gently brush him off, and Chanyeol would look upset for a split second, before looking determined.

It was endearing that the elder was trying so hard, and Baekhyun almost found himself curling up with him on multiple occasions, tempted to kiss him or pull him to their- Baekhyun's room. Because Chanyeol was still Chanyeol, and Baekhyun was still Baekhyun.

And they loved each other… even if they couldn’t be together for the time being.

“I do, but Jisung is going to ask again about these love bites you keep giving me!” Baekhyun scolded, “Hyung, owie?” He mimicked, giggling loudly as Kyungsoo nipped at his hip.

“Looks like you need a better excuse, babe!” The elder chirped, sitting back and grabbing his damp towel from his shower that had ultimately led to this because they all had zero self control these days. “Maybe… you got bit by spiders.” He added, gently cleaning Baekhyun up.

“Hyung!” Baekhyun pouted, “You’re ridiculous!”

“You love me.” Kyungsoo beamed, pulling Baekhyun to stand up, “Look at you, Hyung can’t keep his hands off of you, buttercup.”

“Oh, that’s a new one.” Baekhyun laughed, walking over to their dresser by the cell door. The door that had long been covered, a thick padding blocking the bars and usually people knew to knock. “I like-“

But not everyone.

“Hey, guys- fuck, I’m sorry!” Chanyeol cried, doing nothing but shutting the door behind him and staring at Baekhyun, ears red.

“Dude.” Kyungsoo laughed, snapping Chanyeol out of it and rolling his eyes.

Baekhyun only blushed, hurriedly pulling on his pants.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, I’m sorry- I forgot- Baek, I’m sorry!” The eldest apologized, eyeing the marks across Baekhyun's skin, “God, did you guys maul him or something?”

“Hyung.” Kyungsoo scolded softly.

Chanyeol shook his head, “Right… uh-none of my business, sorry.”

“What’d you need, Hyung?” Baekhyun asked quietly, digging in a drawer for a sweater.

“Oh, uh…” The eldest shrugged, “Uh… I wanted to get my shirt, you know.. the red one, long sleeves..”

“Oh, it’s in there somewhere.” Kyungsoo pointed to the dresser uninterestedly, digging through the side table.

Baekhyun frowned, licking his lips nervously as Chanyeol walked over, bumping his shoulder to Baekhyun's bare one as he looked inside. “Chanyeol… it's not in here.”

The elder hummed softly, “Kyungsoo said it was?”

“No… uh… we don’t have it.” Baekhyun lied, “Might check the laundry.”

Chanyeol raised a brow at Baekhyun's nervousness, leaning against the dresser, “You’re a horrible liar, bab- Baekhyun.”

It only made Baekhyun blush before sighing, “Look… do me a favor? You can take the rest of your clothes but I want to keep that one.”

“Why?” The elder wondered, confused as he scanned Baekhyun's profile.

“I like to sleep in it. I want to keep it, if you want… I’ll give it back after I wash it.” Baekhyun whispered, chewing his lip as he looked at Chanyeol.

Chanyeol smirked slightly, “Why would you do that?”

He was fishing, Baekhyun knew what he was trying to do, but there was really no room to get out of confessing because he was a shit liar, and he had basically set himself up for this. “Because it smells like you, and- and it’s your favorite, I want it. Okay, Hyung?”

Baekhyun's heart still raced when Chanyeol looked at him like this, like he was the most radiant sight he’d ever seen, and he was almost positive Chanyeol was going to try something, maybe a kiss, maybe a sly comment, but Chanyeol just smiled, nodding slightly. “Okay, Baekhyun. You can have it, you don’t need to give it back.”

“Okay.” The younger sighed in relief, the shirt he had chosen dangling in his hand as he stepped back to put it on.

“Hey.” Chanyeol called softly as Baekhyun threw the shirt on.

“Yeah?”

“I love you.”

Baekhyun had promised once, that he would always tell them, no matter what. And he hadn’t broken it. “I love you.”

Chanyeol nodded, Baekhyun saw him clench his jaw and knew how it felt. It hurt. “Um… friends can hug, right?”

“Friends.. friends can hug.” Baekhyun whispered, throwing himself into the elders chest.

~~~~~~~

Something was going on, and Baekhyun was extremely confused about it.

Well, nothing happened yet, but it was coming… he could just feel it.

Maybe it had something to do with the weather, because it was storming out, but it was hot. Or, maybe it had to do with the fact that Chanyeol was outside and it was storming horribly.

“Outside!”

“No, we’re not playing outside today, we’re playing inside.” Junmyeon called immediately, grabbing Jisung’s wrist from running towards the door.

“Outside, outside!” The baby cried, Baekhyun could hear the tantrum coming, “Pig, outside!”

Minseok sighed, “We’re not playing with the pigs today, you’re not throwing a fit today, Jisung.”

Baekhyun almost rolled his eyes, because you definitely don’t tell a baby he’s throwing a fit.

God, Taeyong used to be such a screamer, and Jisung really wasn’t that bad, but it was the way his cries bounced off the walls that really made his heart race.

“Baek, please.” Luhan groaned, pressing his forehead to the table.

“Got it.” Baekhyun whispered, patting Luhan's hair before walking over to where Jisung was flopping on the floor.

As mentioned, Jisungs tantrums weren’t that bad, but it was just anxiety inducing when the baby’s head laid on the cement, Baekhyun really kept forgetting to mention getting a rug or something for the common area.

He sighed and sat on the floor, pulling Jisung under his arms into his lap. The baby only cried.

“Hey… shhhh… shhh, Hyung is talking to you.” Baekhyun scolded softly, rubbing Jisungs stomach and pressing a kiss to his hair, “Jisungie, let’s talk, huh? Why are you mad?”

And if there was anything Jisung was good at, it was talking, he loved to talk, loved to make noises.

“H-hyun-g! Out-si!” The baby whimpered, his wailing making his sentences nearly incomprehensible.

“Yeah? You wanted to go outside, and you’re mad you couldn’t go?” Baekhyun summarized, looking down at him for confirmation.

Jisung nodded, lip sticking out as he brought his finger to his mouth.

“Okay, but did you know it was storming outside? Little Jisung will get swept away and you can’t see us anymore, do you want that?”

“No.”

“No, that’s right. Jisung stays safe with us, and we’re big, we’re the ones in charge that take care of you, right?”

Jisung wiped his eyes harshly, “Hyung boss.”

“That’s right, baby. We’re the boss and you listen to us. So do you think that’s nice of you to scream and hurt everyone’s ears because you’re angry? No, it’s not nice. We want to make sure our Jisung is okay.” Baekhyun explained, gently standing Jisung up between his legs.

“Not nice.” The baby nodded, “Hyung, sowwy.”

Baekhyun smiled, brushing his hair away and pressing a kiss to Jisungs cheek, “No more screaming, okay?”

“No scweam.” Jisung agreed, throwing his arms around Baekhyun's neck.

“Hyung loves you, so don’t be mean. Now go give hugs and kisses because you hurt everyone’s feelings. Okay?” Baekhyun requested, rubbing his palm over the baby’s back.

“Otay.” Jisung agreed, popping off and raising his arms up to Taehyung.

Baekhyun huffed, rubbing his eyes as he stood up from the floor and walked back to his seat, “God, my head hurts now.”

“Powerful lungs.” Jongin moaned, laying his head on Baekhyun's shoulder when he sat down.

Yifan laughed, playing a board game with Taeyong, “Ibuprofen is in the cabinet if you want it.”

“Hey… Yeol should be back by now, shouldn’t he?” Kyungsoo asked, standing over the railing in the kitchen, “It’s like… really storming.”

Baekhyun stiffened, not feeling tired anymore as he looked at a window. “What… What kind of natural disasters do you think they get in this area? I mean.. It's mid summer, and it’s so wet outside.”

“It’s probably just a storm.” Yoongi called, walking over towards a window, “I mean… it’s a little hard to see through here. I can see some lightning… yeah, I think it’s just a storm.”

“I don’t know.” Yifan suddenly hopped to his feet, moving to block Baekhyun's view of the window, “It’s raining really hard, lighting and rain… uh-“

“Could flood then, the mountain behind us would cause run off.” Minseok added, “It'd be okay for our crops, just depends on how bad.”

Baekhyun tripped from how fast he got off the bench, pulling his leg over the metal and scrambling making everyone look at him confused.

“What- Baek, what are you doing?” Jongin wondered, watching Baekhyun grab a coat from the closet and zipping it up.

“Chanyeol is out there, I’m not- I can’t just leave him! If it might flood he could drown- fuck, that fucking idiot!” Baekhyun cursed, he didn’t even know who’s boots he grabbed by the door, but he was tying them on tight. “Goddamn fucking- motherfuck-“

“Wow, that mouth.” Sehun laughed, standing up calmly, “Chill out, i'll go find my brother. You should sit here and think about what you said in front of Jisung.” He joked.

Baekhyun brushed him off, “I’m fucking pissed, this goddamn fucking idiot- stupid ass fucking- I’m already going, I’ll be back.”

The group stared at him with a mix of amusement and some smirks at his anger, or fear that he was trying to play off as anger.

“Baek-“

“No, let him go. You two let him go.” Yixing said softly, looking between Kyungsoo and Jongin. “He’ll be fine, it’s not that bad, he’s really worried about Chanyeol, he doesn’t need to worry about the both of you out there too.”

Jongin huffed and looked at Kyungsoo as if it physically pained him to let Baekhyun willingly walk out there. “He’s got a point.” Is all Kyungsoo could offer.

“Avoid going too close to the fence if it really is flooding.” Sunmi muttered, “The creak would rise really fast.”

“I’m a good swimmer.” Is all Baekhyun offered before he walked out.

Baekhyun had never gone out in a storm, because he used to be so afraid of them, and he had never seen one so wild.

He literally couldn’t see through the rain, it was falling so quickly, and the clouds were blocking out so much of the sun even though it wasn’t super late yet.

He threw his hood over his head even though it was practically useless at this point, the water was already pooled about a half inch thick on the pavement.

It was like walking through a huge puddle, and he had nowhere to look, he had no idea what Chanyeol was doing out here in the first place having been in the bathroom when he left the prison and he hadn’t felt the need to be worried because at that time it hadn’t been storming.

So, all he could do was shiver as he walked towards the yard, as he squinted it looked like a few of the fortification in the fence were knocked down- not a concern right now since there were barely any walkers- all getting confused by the sound of rain and bodies slowing through the wet, muddy ground.

He licked the rain water off his mouth and almost face planted as he stepped into the muddy ground, sloshing through the grass.

Momentarily, he wondered if maybe Chanyeol was in one of the watchtowers, but dismissed the thought immediately, because there was nothing to see except rain for miles.

And then, he heard the animals squealing through the rain, the horse making loud distressed noises and the pigs probably loved the mud, but not the lightning.

Baekhyun almost slipped multiple times on his way over, and he was absolutely livid when he walked to the stable.

Chanyeol was laying on the ground, his head lulled to the side and Baekhyun felt like screaming.

He ran, he didn’t even care as he slipped a few times until he made it to Chanyeol's side, immediately pushing the man’s soaking wet hair from his face. And Baekhyun didn’t know if it was just rain or his tears because Chanyeol was soaking wet and freezing, he had probably been in the rain for a little.

“Chanyeol!” Baekhyun screamed, “Get up! Wake up!”

He let out a wet cry as Chanyeol didn’t respond, turning the elders head to the side and running his hand over a bump under his soulmates hair with a sob.

If Chanyeol didn't wake up he didn’t know what to do, he wasn’t strong enough to carry him, and he didn’t know if Chanyeol would make it if he left his side.

If he had a concussion, he would easily drown in the water, only an inch more and he probably would have already, and Baekhyun wasn’t willing to risk the chance of rain building up that much in the time it took for him to get help.

“You son of a bitch!” Baekhyun growled, grabbing one of Chanyeol's arms and trying his best to drag him, he wasn’t getting far at all, not with the ground giving him no friction and his 120 lbs of bone versus Chanyeol easy 160 of muscle. “Goddamn it, you can’t die like this you fucking idiot!”

Baekhyun wailed, his crying maybe louder than the animals freaking out about the lightning as he grabbed Chanyeol's face, leaning down with a cry to press his forehead onto the elders. “I fucking hate you- if you don’t get up- goddamn it, Hyung! Get up, get up!”

He was ready to give up, ready to curl into a ball beside Chanyeol and wait until Jongin and Kyungsoo came looking for them.

And then Chanyeol coughed, opening his eyes and looking extremely confused.

Baekhyun laughed in disbelief and then snarled, “You fucking idiot- you goddamn psycho! What the fuck, Chanyeol! What the fuck!”

He wasn’t even sure Chanyeol heard him through the storm until the elder groaned, reaching out to Baekhyun for help as he sat up slowly.

“I’m so fucking mad at you- what were you thinking! Chanyeol, you goddamn idiot, fuck you!”

Chanyeol squinted slightly, rubbing his temple and spitting out water. “The horse- putting the horse in the stable, I slipped- think I hit my head on the wood.”

Baekhyun gawked in disbelief, “You’re going to die over a horse? That fucking horse? Oh my god, Chanyeol, you’re the biggest idiot ever!”

“Taeyong loves that horse.” The elder whispered, not looking apologetic in the least.

Baekhyun scoffed, face furrowed in anger before he licked his lips and looked at him disbelieving, he knew one hundred percent that those were his own tears on his face now. “Chanyeol.” He croaked, reaching out to touch his soulmates jaw, “You’re a goddamn idiot- the fucking stupidest- and I fucking love you, fuck, I love you.”

He cried, moving closer to press his mouth firmly onto Chanyeol's, all he could taste was water, but he didn’t really care. Chanyeol grabbed his jacket tightly, so he was sure the elder didn’t mind.

“C-can you walk?” Baekhyun whispered, pulling back and standing up, “Hyung- let’s go, you’re freezing.”

“You’re freezing.” Chanyeol groaned, standing up before wobbling, Baekhyun immediately grabbing his arm and wrapping it around his shoulder even though he was probably the least helpful person to have right now.

“Let’s just agree to be worried about the other and focus on not slipping.” Baekhyun yelled through the rain.

He heard Chanyeol laugh and felt much better than he had moments ago, stumbling blinding into a storm.

“Since when are you not afraid of storms!” Chanyeol yelled, voice slightly cracking and Baekhyun knew he was going to be extremely sick tomorrow.

“Since my giant idiot soulmate went into one!” Baekhyun replied, watching the ground because as soon as he lost balance that was it, they’d both be down and have get up all over again.

He didn’t hear Chanyeol's response, but if he would have looked over he would have noticed the huge grin on the elders face.

Once they got to the pavement it was a lot easier, the ground was smoother, more for their shoes to grip even though an inch or more of water covered it.

Baekhyun wasn’t all that surprised that a lot of them were waiting in the doorway, the door opened and worried faces peeking out.

Sehun ran out immediately, face frowning in concern, “Hyung! Hyung!”

Baekhyun had never really seen the two as that close, but then again he and Taeyong didn’t appear that close these days even though they once were inseparable. Baekhyun still considered them close even when they were fighting.

But Sehun looked so relieved as he grabbed Chanyeol's other arm, throwing it around his neck and doing literally all of the work because Baekhyun knew for sure he hadn’t been the one moving Chanyeol that fast.

“You fucking idiot- Chanyeol, what the fuck, man!”

Baekhyun was glad he wasn’t the only one absolutely pissed at the other too, because Kyungsoo looked absolutely livid.

“Baek Hyung!” Taeyong cried as soon as they were safely inside the doors, “Hyung, i'll- I’ll get you guys clothes!”

He didn’t have time to acknowledge Taeyong before Jongin was pulling the soaking wet jacket off of him and he saw Kyungsoo and Sehun fussing, doing the same to Chanyeol all the while spitting insults.

“Xing Hyung, I think Chanyeol has a concussion, can you check?” Baekhyun asked, looking over Jongin's shoulder because his soulmate was busy running warm hands over his face.

The medic nodded, always looking so calm as he grabbed a flashlight off the shelf of supplies.

“Focus on the light.” Yixing ordered.

Baekhyun laughed at Taeyong almost tripping on the wet puddles by him and Chanyeol as the teenager ran back in, piles of towels in his arms and what looked like the randomest choices of clothes.

He figured Taeyong panicked and grabbed the first things he saw, which all looked like Chanyeol's stack of clothes he had pulled out that morning to remember to take to his new cell.

“Definitely a concussion, his pupils are still a little dilated so… stay up a few more hours, Yeol, just in case.” Yixing ordered, “And… get warm, fuck you’re going to be so sick later, I’ll get you some medicine to take.”

“I’ll take him to his room.” Yifan said quietly, Baekhyun wondered if the leader felt a little guilty or if he was just upset. “Come on, Yeol.”

Baekhyun chewed his lip, grabbing the pile of clothes from the table, “Uh- take him to the perch- please. I’ll… I'll get him something warm to eat.”

Chanyeol looked at him wide eyed and like he wanted to question Baekhyun, but knew otherwise and kept his excitement to himself as Kyungsoo sent him a smile and Jongin walked over to grab his other arm.

“You sure?” Luhan whispered quietly, throwing his arm around Baekhyun's wet shoulder.

Baekhyun saw Yifan stop walking for a second at that, and swore he saw the muscle in Chanyeol's neck stiffen. “Positive.”


	36. Chicken

As expected, Chanyeol was sick only hours later, his voice hoarse and looking pale.

Who knew how long he had been out in that freezing rain, he definitely didn’t, Chanyeol thought it had only been a few seconds he was out, but Baekhyun was positive it had been at least five minutes he had tried to carry his body alone.

“Hey.” Baekhyun whispered, chewing his lip as he walked into his cell, a bowl in his hands.

Chanyeol beamed like he hadn’t seen him all day when it had been only an hour or two as they had each been warmed up separately.

Baekhyun had been coddled to death by Yixing and Luhan while Jongin and Kyungsoo had changed Chanyeol.

“You’re wearing my clothes.” The elder commented, his voice raspier than normal, almost like when he first woke up in the mornings.

“They're warm.” Baekhyun mumbled, passing him the bowl and taking a seat on the chair across from Chanyeol, pulling his pajama pant covered legs up into the chair with him.

Chanyeol frowned at the distance before shaking it off and rubbing his eye, setting the hot soup on a side table beside him. “You saved my life, I would’ve died- it’s five inches deep outside Jimin said.”

Baekhyun gulped at the thought before shrugging, pulling his sleeves over his hands, “You’ve saved my life a lot of times.”

“Are we talking?” The elders asked softly, looking so small as he pulled the blanket around his shoulders,

Baekhyun was lucky to see the sight of him looking so soft whenever he wanted, because it was adorable when the boys looked so small when they usually had straight faces and hated talking to people outside their group. “We’re talking.” He confirmed.

“You kissed me.” Chanyeol whispered, licking his lips almost nervously.

Baekhyun sighed, “I did.”

“Why?”

“Why else, Chanyeol?” Baekhyun smiled and picked at his hoodie, “Because I love you, and you’re an idiot, but I was so scared, and you’re so sweet and I can’t stand it sometimes.”

Chanyeol chuckled quietly, but it sounded more of a croak, “I love you.” He said simply, staring at Baekhyun as if thinking about something else. “You’re beautiful, Baekhyun. I’m not… I’m not talking about just looking at you- that too, but you’re just beautiful and I-I want to impress you so badly, and I… I know you noticed. I went out… because I was going to do something special for you, but I got distracted… and the horse got out, and Taeyong would cry if I didn’t put it up-“

“I did notice, I always notice.” Baekhyun said softly, “You were so obvious, Hyung, how could I not notice? You never wake up so early after a night on watch to watch me read to Jisung in the mornings, you don’t have time and I know that. You… you don’t care about plants, Yeol.”

Baekhyun laughed quietly, looking away if only to avoid meeting watchful eyes, “You watched like a hawk when I was with people you don’t know, because you don’t really like to meet new people and that’s okay. I-I saw you talk to Jiyong a while ago and he came and told me that he didn’t know i had a soulmate, which was stupid considering Jongin and Kyungsoo leech as bad as I do.”

“I was jealous.” Chanyeol coughed into his sleeve before leaning against the wall, “God, fuck, I was so jealous. You’re so… you’re so lovable, Baekhyun. And I… I couldn’t love you. Two weeks and five days since I’ve kissed you, Baekhyun. I was scared you weren’t going to need me anymore, that you would decide not to let me in your heart again.. and let these others in. I’ve never felt jealousy like this and you know I’m like… like the most possessive asshole ever.”

Baekhyun sniggered at his words, nodding slightly with a soft smile.

“But… other people got to see your smile up close, got to be so close to you and I knew that… that I was pushing if I did- and I didn’t want to push you further than I already did. God, I just wanted to see you happy- but… I wanted to be the cause, not these strangers, not Sehun, or Yixing, not even Jongin or Kyungsoo, because I wanted it to be me… because I can’t get your face out of my head- god, why did I do that? Fuck, I can’t- you were so scared and I didn’t read it, and I lied through my teeth- and we don’t lie to each other, Baekhyun. Right?”

“We don’t.” Baekhyun confirmed, “And it did scare me.”

Chanyeol's nostrils flared as he brought his brows together, “I know.” His voice was so wet Baekhyun couldn't stand his crying because the boys were strong and they never cried as often as he did, and he appreciated that about them. But it also made it hurt so much more when they did. “I know, Baekhyun. I know, and I lied to you and I told you that yo-you were hard to be with and that I didn’t want to baby you, tried to convince myself that was the truth, but it wasn’t the truth at all.

Being without you… it’s so much harder, and I want to baby you so badly, because… you were my baby... i-I has you- I can’t- I can’t forgive myself for letting you go..”

Baekhyun had to take a breath, staring pointedly at his own hands because he hated when Chanyeol was upset, and he hated the sounds of shakiness in his voice.

“It seemed like so long… so long and I couldn’t do anything because I just kept making you more upset because I can’t control myself and Jongin was right.

My ego is-was too big to think about anything but how much I didn’t want to lose you- a-and that’s what happened.”

“You kept… you kept putting flowers in the hallway.” Baekhyun whispered, his chin trembling slightly. “Because… you knew I liked them, and you knew I walked past your cell every night, but do you know why?”

“Why?”

Baekhyun released a quiet whimper as he brought his sleeve to his eyes, “Because.. I heard you crying and I-I didn’t want you to cry, Chanyeol. I never wanted you to cry.”

“Of course, I was a huge asshole. You told me you were scared, and I didn’t register it until Jongin was hissing at me and looking at me like- like he had zero idea who I was anymore… because I swore to never hurt you, a-and I did, I hurt you and god, I’ll never forgive myself for it; I don’t expect you too. That’s why I’m not asking you to, I’m not asking you for anymore chances, I’m not asking for your trust.

I’m just… I’m just going to take whatever you give me and… and if that was our last kiss then… if that’s- that's what you want then I won’t ever ask. Even thoug-though I love you so much, Baekhyun.

And I don’t want to see you with anyone else.. even, even when I saw you with Jongin and Kyungsoo… but not me? It was… I couldn’t help the jealousy. But if it’s not me then I’ll respect that from now on, I won’t… try to win you over if that’s not what you want, but just… I’m asking you to tell me if I ever have a chance or if… if there’s no- no… p-place for me with you anymore.”

Baekhyun had to turn his whole body away, resting his shoulder against the wall even though he could feel Chanyeol staring at his profile, waiting for his reaction. “Did you yell at me?”

Chanyeol licked his lips, “I… I raised my voice at you, baby, but… but it wasn’t loud. Baekhyun, I’d never scream at you.

But I admit I... was being… being too aggressive, my words were too mean, and I apologize, sweetheart. I should have handled it better, I could have.”

Baekhyun brought a hand up to cover his eyes as they filled with tears, “I really thought-thought you yelled at me, Chanyeol… I’ve seen y-you yell and get mad, but… I don’t know I just- you looked so mad- I don’t know what happened, it was going into my ears li-like I was being screamed at- and-you know I can’t, can't handle that.”

Chanyeol only looked at him pained, unsure of what to do, or say.

He had been upset, and he had been mad. Baekhyun was so sensitive that he shouldn’t have raised his voice even the slightest, but… he hadn’t yelled at the smaller, he hadn’t meant to scare him.

Not when he loved him so much. But it was easy to forget when he was mad- that Baekhyun needed special care. If only he hadn’t looked at him and been so angry- maybe Baekhyun wouldn’t have gotten so upset with him.

“You also... don’t care about chicken.”

Chanyeol frowned, expression contorted into one of genuine confusion. “What?”

Baekhyun's face was completely covered in tears as he turned his head to look at Chanyeol, “I don’t know why… but a week ago you walked up to me.. and you told me that you were going hunting for chicken which was so unrealistic considering we’re.. we’re in the woods and we cleared all the farms near.

But then.. then I remember that I told you once, one time that chicken was my favorite food… it was a passing comment and it was completely meaningless. But.. I don’t know, I just couldn’t forget it, you know? It’s such a- so stupid that that’s what shook me up so much even though you’ve been doing such nice things for me the past two weeks.

It should’ve.. should’ve been the flowers or- or the candy, maybe even the game boy for Taeyong, but it wasn’t.”

“And why not?” Chanyeol asked softly.

“Because those other things you did so often anyways and I was just so used to it to.. to really consider them really special at the time- but they are. You guys always look for things for Taeyong, always find me candy or pretty things because you know I enjoy them.” Baekhyun stopped to chew his lip for only a moment, “But chicken? Chanyeol, I- I don’t know.. it sounds ridiculous, but I really cried over that, you know? And I probably scared the shit out of Yixing Hyung when I said I was crying over chicken, Chanyeol.”

Baekhyun laughed and shook his head, watching Chanyeol chuckle, the elder moving to lay on his side, hands under his cheek as he looked at Baekhyun.

“I swear I almost caught one too.” Chanyeol whispered, “Should’ve brought Taeyong with me, little shit is fast- could’ve caught it.”

Baekhyun only smiled, resting his chin on his knees.

He didn’t really know what to say. And Chanyeol didn’t seem to know what to say either, kind of just waiting for something else Baekhyun wanted to say.

Or, he was waiting for Baekhyun's response to his question, and Baekhyun was working his way up to it, but he wanted everything to be clear, everything laid on the table.

“Do you think I didn’t give you enough attention?” Baekhyun whispered, minutes later.

Chanyeol blinked a few times and Baekhyun felt a little bad for keeping him up, but he was supposed to be up because of his concussion anyways. “I think… that I had no right to be so angry, and that I was stressed out because I wasn’t making time to see you, I was.. projecting.”

“You were right too.” The younger whispered, “I.. I hadn’t really noticed until Jongin mentioned it, but it wasn’t… wasn't because I was spending so much time with them. It was because I-I was spending so much time with myself and… I was writing, and watching Taeyong… I’m worried about him, you know that.”

“We all are.” Chanyeol replied gravelly.

Baekhyun nodded, stretching his arm over his head, glancing at the window over Chanyeol's head. It still looked to be pouring pretty badly, he hoped the other people had enough common sense not to go out.

“Do you… you think I’m exhausting?”

“I didn’t…” Chanyeol paused to think over his words, “I don’t think you’re exhausting, Baekhyun. I don’t know… I think I said it because you’re so.. different than what I expected my soulmate to be, you know? Everyone pictures the perfect pair… stories always make it seem like there’s never any problems and… that’s mostly true. But there are sometimes, and sometimes they're big.

We don’t fight often, well.. you don’t fight with Jongin and Kyungsoo nearly as much as we… argue, I wouldn’t- I don’t count us arguing as fights, but this was a fight. And a huge one. And I don’t know.. what it is about me that just- just blows up sometimes and I really, genuinely, can’t believe that I blew up at you.”

“But you did… I pushed you.” Baekhyun said under his breath.

Chanyeol only gulped, leaning against the wall, “But I did.”

The younger released a quiet sigh, closing his eyes and leaning his head back. He could hear people moving up and down the hallways.

Taeyong’s familiar laugh and he wondered for a moment what he was doing, if he was playing a game with Jisung, or maybe Jongin was sneaking him some candy even though Baekhyun had been clear on limiting it because he was scared Taeyong would get sick- Baekhyun always pretended not to notice even though he had caught the two in the act before.

“Chanyeol, I love you.” Baekhyun muttered simply, climbing off his chair.

The elders eyes shook slightly as he watched Baekhyun walk around the room, the sudden movement making his heart jump as he watched the door in fear the younger would walk out of it. “And I love you.”

Baekhyun reached onto the bookshelf, digging through a silver metal box he pulled down, turning to set it on the dresser.

He found what he was looking for and turned around, hands hidden beneath his long sleeves as he walked over to the mattress and sat cross legged.

Chanyeol immediately sat up, he felt like he hadn’t been this close to Baekhyun in days even though it had only been a few hours since he was dragged inside. Eyeing his soulmates features as if the last time he would see them up close.

“Give me your arm.” Baekhyun requested quietly, holding his hand out. Chanyeol did so quickly.

“I really love you, Chanyeol.” Baekhyun began, thin fingers pushing up Chanyeol's sleeve, “Okay?”

“Okay.”

“And I-I don't want to be scared of you again. Or… or fight like this ever again.”

Chanyeol only nodded with a guilty look, “I’m sorry, I love you. I won’t ever raise my voice at you again, not even the slightest, ever.”

Baekhyun only sent him a little smile before looking down at Chanyeol's arm, sliding the object over Chanyeol's wrist. “I got you this… A few weeks ago, uh-the battery was broken.. so I had to fix it.”

Chanyeol's face contorted in pain as he looked at the watch, it was a pretty silver, probably one he would have never been able to afford if money had still been a thing. The inside black and the clicking hands moving every second white. It was so pretty.

“Now… you’ll have time to see me.”

The elder cried, throwing his arms around Baekhyun and pulling him under the blanket with him, pressing his chin to the crown of Baekhyun's head. “I-I’ll make time to see you, baby. I’ll come see you all the time, whenever you want.”

“For now…” Baekhyun whispered wetly, turning to press his cheek into Chanyeol's chest, “For now you should get better so that I can kiss you for.. for the first time in almost three weeks.”

“I love you, Baekhyun. I love you so much.”

~~~~~~~~~

“Yeol Hyung!”

Baekhyun tsked, immediately blocking the door, “Yeol Hyung has a fever, leave him alone, please.”

Taeyong raised a brow at him, crossing his arms. “Yixing Hyung said he was okay now. Come on, Hyung, it’s still pouring out, I’m bored.”

“Tell Kyungsoo and Jongin I said to let you charge your game boy.” Baekhyun offered, “Use the mini generator on level two though, we’re using this one!” He added as Taeyong began to run down the hall.

Baekhyun laughed, turning to shut the cell door. “Well, that was easy.”

Chanyeol smiled, Baekhyun's favorite smile, one where the dimple on his cheek showed and his nose slightly scrunched up. “Maybe we should tell him Yifan Hyung gave us this, but I kinda don’t want to.”

The younger giggled, shaking his head as he moved to crawl into Chanyeol's lap, glancing at the portable DVD player, “Maybe when we get tired of it.” He smiled, wrapping his arms around Chanyeol's neck.

The elder hummed, running his hand along the curve of Baekhyun's neck before laying down, the younger laid comfortably on his chest. “Now that you mention it… I feel a little tired of it.”

Baekhyun looked at him confused, “Huh? You’re the one that put it on, Yeollie!” He laughed, lightly tugging on Chanyeol's shirt.

“I have better things to do now!” Chanyeol smirked, turning to lay the smaller beneath him, “Prettier things to look at than a movie!”

The younger blushed slightly, reaching up to touch the dark hair grown out on Chanyeol's jaw, “This makes you look really manly, Hyung.”

“Yeah?” Chanyeol smiled, “You enjoy my facial hair grown out purely because I was too busy trying to get your attention, hm? Because Hyung wants all of it, all of it, baby.”

Baekhyun giggled, nodding as Chanyeol pressed a few innocent kisses to his cheeks. “Want Hyungs attention too.”

Chanyeol's look turned softer as he pressed a kiss to Baekhyun's nose, “I know, love. Hyung is going to give you lots of love, sweetheart. Can’t stand when I’m not near you, baby.”

“You want to know a secret.” Baekhyun whispered, brushing his nose on Chanyeol's with a smile, “Jiyong confessed to me, you know? He said he thought I was so cute… that he thought I was the prettiest one in this prison.”

The elder released a noise similar to a growl and Baekhyun smiled at the noise, pressing his mouth to Chanyeol's only so they brushed slightly as he spoke. “Told him I had a huge crush on you already, Hyung. That I had been in love with you, Nini, and Soo for well over a year.”

“You’re trying to get me worked up, aren’t you? That pretty little smirk tells all, little moon.” Chanyeol snarled, voice soft even though his jaw was clenched like he was angry.

He wasn’t though, Baekhyun knew that.

“Yup.” Baekhyun giggled, eyes crinkling in a way Chanyeol always thought extremely endearing, “Telling you so you have to show me off, Hyung. Until everyone in every cell block knows that you love me.”

“And god do I love you, baby.” The elder purred, pressing his mouth down Baekhyun's jaw.

Baekhyun beamed fingers moving to tangle into Chanyeol's hair with a grip he knew made the elder crazy. “Take off my clothes, Hyung.”

“Fuck, you don’t need to tell me twice.” Chanyeol growled, immediately pulling away to strip the younger making Baekhyun giggle in delight. “This pretty little body is mine to see, this pretty little face is mine.” He ranted, pressing his lips down on Baekhyun's cheek. “This little mouth is mine.”

“I’m yours, Hyung.” Baekhyun smiled, tugging Chanyeol's mouth onto his, “And you’re mine?”

“Why is that even a question.” Chanyeol said firmly, reaching in between the two of them to pull off his boxers, “I’m yours, only ever yours, baby.”

“Chanyeol, love me.”

Chanyeol wondered if he was going to get whiplash with how fast he was reaching over to dig into the side table, “I do love you, Baekhyun.”


	37. Story Time

Yifan walked down to the animal pins, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes when he heard fast footsteps and snorted to himself.

“Hyung, you didn’t wake me up!” Taeyong whined, his shoe not even tied as he ran to catch up.

“Because I knew you were up all night reading comics with a flashlight.” The leader called out with a laugh, walking to the bucket of pig feed, scooping out a serving.

Taeyong huffed, a light blush on his cheeks as he wrapped his arm around the wooden post and looked at the pigs. “What's up with Violet?” He pointed out.

Yifan frowned, looking at the pig laying in the mud, not even moving at the sound of him dumping the feed into the pin when usually they were all over at the gate at the sight of a person nearing the pin. “I thought your brother told you not to name them anymore. They're not piglets, they’re food, Tae.”

“I just thought, you know, until…” Taeyong trailed off with a slight shrug.

“Okay. I don't know what's going on with her. Could be sick, could be nothing.”

Yifan stared at the teenager for a moment before sighing and pulling Taeyong under his arm, “Feel better, Violet.”

The teenager beamed up at Yifan and the leader rolled his eyes, “Tell your brother and you’re dead meat.”

“I named the little one Wilbur, from those books.”

“Okay, now that’s pushing it.” Yifan teased, pinching Taeyongs arm.

~~~~~~~~

Baekhyun smiled and waved as he walked past the people seated at the tables, a few people trying to stop him to see Jisung, but he only smiled, a mumbled excuse that the baby had a headache- mainly just because Baekhyun was starving.

“Morning, Baekhyun!”

He smiled and waved before spotting a table filled with people he actually spoke to on a regular basis and ran over, “Hello, good morning- I’m starving so here’s the baby!” He ranted, setting a tired Jisung in Sunmi’s lap faster than she could even process before turning and walking towards the food line.

“Baekhyun!” He heard her screech and smirked to himself.

Baekhyun grabbed his tray and saw a bunch of people waving at him and flushed, a bit confused when he didn’t really know them all that well.

He felt familiar arms around his waist then and laughed, “Babe, baby.”

“Good morning.” Baekhyun said genuinely, turning to press a kiss to Chanyeol's jaw.

The elder hummed, “Good morning, Mr. Popular.”

Baekhyun heard the mischievousness and gasped, “What’d you do?”

“May or… may not have just gone and told a few people about my beautiful soulmate, apparently they’re pretty shocked, a lot of them thought I was a single man. I’m very wanted, don’t you know, baby?”

Baekhyun laughed and faked a pout, “I’ll kill whoever this soulmate is, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol smiled radiantly at the reply, pressing a soft kiss to his lips, “You really like this game, huh?”

Baekhyun only smiled into the kiss before pulling away and taking a good step away. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

The elder gasped dramatically and discreetly placed his hand on Baekhyun's ass as the line moved, “Be careful, baby. I heard Jongin was a little testy this morning, you can play with me, but he’s gonna be quick to punish you.”

“Guess I’ll find out later, huh? I’ll come tell you when I piss him off so you can join.” Baekhyun giggled.

Chanyeol growled and nipped at the side of his neck making Baekhyun scrunch his shoulders up with a loud laugh.

“Smells good.” Baekhyun heard someone at the front of the line compliment and laughed, moving to lean against the counter.

“Just so you know, I liked you first.” Baekhyun teased.

Kyungsoo sniggered, grabbing the plate from him to fill it up, “Oh, stop.”

Baekhyun smiled prettily and moved to walk behind the counter and lean into Kyungsoo's side, “Good morning, love.”

Kyungsoo laughed, the sound slightly shocked as he placed the filled plate down and reached out for Chanyeol's. “You trying to give me a heart attack? Call me baby, Hyung wants to hear it.”

Baekhyun only smiled, grabbing a fork and ignoring the request. “You know.” Baekhyun said softly, “Yifan Hyung brought in a lot of people.”

“Okay, I’ll bug you about it later.” Kyungsoo smirked.

“Not recently.” Chanyeol answered before looking at Kyungsoo, “But Kyungsoo, I need you to see something.”

Kyungsoo raised a confused brow, “Right… uh…” He scanned the people nearby, “Seungkwan, you want to take over?”

“Yes, sir!”

Baekhyun looked up from his plate curiously at the excited tone of the boy and snorted as he faced Chanyeol. “Mr. Park, I just wanted to thank you for bringing that deer back yesterday. It was a real treat, sir. And I'd be honored to shake your hand.”

Baekhyun met Chanyeol's eyes and giggled, setting his empty plate down to intertwine his fingers with Kyungsoo's. “We don’t have all day, Hyung. Come on.” Baekhyun prompted with a laugh as Chanyeol looked physically pained at the kids enthusiasm to shake his hand, immediately letting go even though the kid beamed.

Chanyeol grabbed Baekhyun, pulling him into his side as the three walked, “You're so getting it later, sweetheart.”

“Baby.” Baekhyun pouted, looking up at Kyungsoo, “Hyung is being mean.”

“You little brat!” The elder whined, “You want to play so much today!”

“As usual, I like it!” Kyungsoo chirped, pressing his lips to Baekhyun's knuckles, “Call me that again, sweetheart, my heart is racing!” He cooed just to see Baekhyun laugh.

The younger only smiled before seeing a familiar back standing at the edge of the asphalt, arms crossed and Yifan at his side.

He released Kyungsoo's hand with a pretty smile before running and attaching himself to Jongin's back.

Jongin laughed quietly, wrapping his hands around Baekhyun's to keep them around his waist, “Good morning my little leech.”

“Ugh, Hyungs have sweet nicknames for me this morning and now I get leech- offended, Nini! Offended!” Baekhyun whined, moving himself to Jongin's front.

The elder only made a soft cooing noise and brushed Baekhyun's hair out of his face before looking over at his two best friends. “About today, I don't know if we're gonna be able to spare a lot of people for the run.”

“The place is good to go. We're gonna move on it.” Chanyeol replied looking confused.

“Yeah.” Yifan sighed and pointed to the corner of the furthest fence, “The thing is, we had a pretty big build up overnight. Dozens more towards tower three. It's getting as bad as last month.”

Baekhyun gawked, the walkers were so many, few spaces in between, almost like they were herding for food.

“They don't spread out anymore. With more of us sitting here, we're drawing more of them out. You get enough of those damn fence-clingers, they start to herd up.”

“Pushing against the fences again. It's manageable, but unless we get ahead of it, not for long.” Kyungsoo summarized.

Baekhyun heard Chanyeol huff and sent him a sympathetic look, knowing how much he wanted to get out and scavenge today. “Sorry, baby.” He said softly, reaching out for the eldests hand.

“This a new game? We playing games today?” Jongin smirked, pressing a soft kiss to Baekhyun's ear.

“Maybe.” Baekhyun smiled teasingly.

“We still gotta go today, let’s get down and help them get these fuckers through the fence.” Yifan suggested, pulling his knife out.

Baekhyun sighed softly as the leader walked off. “No play time?”

His soulmates smiled fondly. “Maybe later, sweetheart.” Kyungsoo said softly, pinching his cheek, “Let’s get to work.”

~~~~~~~~~

The fence was basically hopeless, but they had gotten them out of the way enough to set up a new fortification.

At this rate the wooden pegs were going to be only a foot apart if it kept up like this.

“Hey, we’re heading out, honey.”

Baekhyun popped up from trimming the plants beside Minseok and walked out of the garden, tossing his gloves to the side, “You better be careful.”

“Of course.” Chanyeol muttered, grabbing his chin between two fingers and pressing sweet kisses to Baekhyun's mouth, “You come find me with Jongin and Soo when I get back, okay?”

“Hm.. ‘Kay, love you.”

“And I love you, gorgeous.” Chanyeol promised, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's forehead.

Baekhyun smiled and turned to wrap Yifan in a hug. “Be safe, Hyung.”

“Yeah, yeah, get your cuteness all over me why don’t you?” The leader teased, squeezing Baekhyun harder than the younger was him. “We’re only going if it’s easy, if not we’re turning around, don’t stress.”

“I trust you, Hyung.” The younger smiled, pulling away and patting Yifan's shoulder.

The leader smiled and ruffled his hair, “I know, and I’m very honored.”

Baekhyun smiled cutely and waved the two off before noticing Taeyong sulking by the stable. Sighing, he walked over.

Jongin was talking to Sehun about the walkers herding the fence when he noticed a familiar figure approaching the gate and climbed down, rushing to pull the chain to open the metal entrance.

“Man am I glad to see you!” Jongin laughed as he shut the gate.

Zitao laughed, climbing off the horse. “Nothing, man, I’ll try again tomorrow.”

Jongin sighed, running his hand over the horses neck, “We really appreciate it, man, but it’s getting too dangerous. Yifan Hyung thinks we should hold off for a bit.”

“Walkers for miles.” Zitao said in agreement, “But, trust me, I want to do it of my free will- Baek would lose his mind if he knew you guys were going out there.”

“He cares about you too.” Jongin said softly, “You should stay home for a while, Tao.”

Zitao smiled softly and shrugged, “I guess I have to, his trail is cold, not much left to track.”

Jongin chewed his lip and then placed a fake smile on his face as he noticed Taeyong running over, Baekhyun slowly walking. “I know man, we’ll get him one day.”

“Hyung!” Taeyong smiled, running to throw his arms around Zitaos waist, “I was just telling Hyung I couldn’t find you this morning!”

“Somebody hit the jackpot.” Zitao drawled, opening his pouch on the saddle and pulling out a bunch of comics, dangling them over Taeyongs head.

“No way. Awesome!” Taeyong beamed, “Thank you.”

“I get to read 'em when you're done.” Zitao teased, giving them over.

“Tao, you staying for a while?” Baekhyun asked quietly, wrapping his arm around Jongin's. “You should at least rest a few days.”

“Maybe a little while.” Zitao assured, grabbing the horses reins and pulling her towards the stable, “How's it been? Everything cleaned up since the flood?”

Jongin hummed in confirmation, “Got it cleaned up about a week or so ago, wasn’t as bad as we thought, we lost a piglet, but that’s about it.”

“Are you tired?” Baekhyun worried, “Do you want to rest? I’ll make you something to eat, come on.” He offered his hand, palm up as he separated from Jongin, draping his arm around Taeyong's shoulders.

Zitao smiled at him fondly, and accepted.

~~~~~~~~

“Hyung, what are you doing today?” Taeyong turned to Jongin as his brother walked away, immediately shadowing the elder.

“I’m going to check the snares.” Jongin replied. Locking the horse up and tossing some hay in.

“Okay, cool, lets do it.”

Jongin frowned, “I am. You're not. Do your chores. Read comics. Maybe some books, too. Hang out with Seungkwan, Mark, and Lucas. Maybe go to story time and see Sunmi.”

Taeyong huffed, crossing his arms, “Hyung, that's for kids. I’m not a kid and you know it.”

Jongin sighed, stopping to look down at Taeyong, “For Hyung, can you just play normally? I love you, Tae. But we want you to have fun while you can, okay?”

The teenager sighed, nodding his head and not fussing as he usually would as Jongin pressed a kiss to his hair.

“I love you.” Jongin prompted, wiping a bit of dirt off Taeyongs cheek.

“Love you too.” The teenager mumbled, looking disappointed as he watched his Hyung walk off towards the fence.

Taeyong turned on his heel, kicking the dirt up as he walked around looking for people his age since his Hyung wanted him to so badly.

He could see his brother standing in the courtyard, and he wondered if Baekhyun would be happier if he saw him playing around too.

“Nick, look over here.”

“This one's Wayne.”

“Nick. Nick, over here.”

Taeyong frowned as he walked behind the group of kids, most of them a few years younger, but he spotted Seungkwan, Mark, and Lucas watching and wondered up.

“Hi, Nick! Hi, Nick.”

He looked at the little girls back in disgust, “ You're naming them?” He spat.

Lizzie spun around with a glare, “Well, one of them has a name tag, so we thought all of them should.”

“They had names when they were alive. They're dead now.” Taeyong explained simply, his comics hanging in his hand.

“No, they're not. They're just different.” She argued.

Taeyong found himself disgusted as he glanced at the herd of walkers hanging on the furthest fence, “What the hell are you talking about?” He scoffed, stepping forward.

“Okay, they don't talk. They don't think. They eat people. They kill people.”

“People kill people. They still have names.” Lizzie shot back, crossing her arms defensively.

“Have you seen what happens? Have you seen someone die like that?” Taeyong growled, empty hand curling up.

She huffed, stomping her foot, “Yeah, I have.”

Taeyong glared at her through his hair, “They're not people and they're not pets. Don't name them.” He said firmly, “You’re drawing them in and making it harder on everyone.”

The group of younger kids looked mostly afraid of his words, but Lizzie looked at him as if challenging.

“We're supposed to go read. Come on.” A little girl said, grabbing Lizzies arm.

“You coming to story time tonight?” Mark asked Seungkwan.

Taeyong furrowed his brows as he looked at his fellow teenagers.

“Uh, yeah. See you then.” Seungkwan said nervously, smiling as Lucas pat his shoulder and the twins walked off.

He then turned to look at Taeyong's calculating expression, “I go sometimes. I'm immature. You wouldn't dig it. It's for kids.”

Taeyong didn’t respond, only staring.

“I'm gonna head up there, too. I'll catch you later.” Seungkwan muttered, turning to follow the others.

Taeyong frowned and took a seat in the dirt, opening his comics. “Yup.” He replied, even though he was very much alone.


	38. Polaroids & Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lifetime.

Taeyong decided, for once, to give it a try.

The conclusion was mostly made because Baekhyun had noticed him seated alone and immediately abandoned Kyungsoo to go sit with him.

And it made Taeyong feel guilty, because his brother always looked out for him since he was little and he shouldn’t have to keep doing it.

He was almost fourteen now, and he wasn’t exactly sure the date, but his brother was older now too, twenty four probably, and he was old enough to want to have alone time without Taeyong.

Baekhyun shouldn’t always need to come running to him just because he thought Taeyong looked lonely. And Taeyong was lonely, but he wasn’t alone. He had family, and that was enough for him.

The less people, the easier it was if something happened.

So he had immediately told Baekhyun he was just packing up to go to story time, which at the time was a lie, but he had to make it real because him and Baekhyun didn’t lie to each other.

And his brother looked so proud of him, so happy that he was trying to make friends that Taeyong, truthfully, felt like shit.

But he didn’t want to own up to going, not to the other kids, he had a look to upkeep.

So, he snuck in.

He watched Sunmi glance at the door for a second, a book in her hand before he watched her toss it to the side and pull out a fabric bag, unrolling it.

“Today...we are talking about knives-- how to use them, how to be safe with them, and how they could save your life.”

Taeyong frowned, this surely wasn’t allowed, Sunmi definitely didn’t have permission to teach these kids this or else they’d be teaching out in the open- like she had done for him.

“Noona, may I be dismissed?” Seungkwan suddenly asked, hand raised.

Sunmi frowned, “What is it?”

“I'm not feeling very well.”

“Sometimes you're gonna have to fight through it. What if you wind up out there alone? You just give up because you're feeling bad?” She asked firmly.

“No, it's just I don't want to yack on somebody.”

Sunmi sighed, “Go.”

Taeyong watched Seungkwan run out before standing up a bit to get a better view.

“Okay, today we're gonna learn how to hold a knife, how to stab and slash and where to aim for.” Sunmi began, holding a knife up before looking around at the kids.

The teenager felt his lips curl up in anger as he stood up straight, giving Sunmi time to notice him, locking eyes.

Sunmi’s eyes shook and Taeyong crossed his arms.

“Taeyong. Please, don't tell your brother.”

~~~~~~~~

“Come on, come on!” Baekhyun giggled, pulling both Jongin and Kyungsoo's arms out into the darkness.

Kyungsoo snorted, grabbing Baekhyun's arm when the younger narrowly tripped in excitement, “You’re too excited, sweet pea. You’ve been in a good mood all day.”

“Yeah, I’m curious, doll, what’s up?” Jongin teased, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's wrist.

Baekhyun beamed, “Woke up in a good mood, and guess what!”

“What, gorgeous?” Chanyeol drawled, standing exactly where he promised to be when they got back from the run, leaning against the bottom of the watchtower, shirt slightly torn.

“Taeyong went and played today, with the other kids!” Baekhyun said, turning to wrap his arms around Chanyeol's waist. “How’d it go?”

“That’s so good to hear, sweetheart.” Kyungsoo chirped, sending a nod to the eldest of them, a smile to see him back.

“Well, it’s not thirty days without an accident anymore.” Chanyeol muttered, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's hair.

“Oh.” Baekhyun frowned, pulling back to look up at him, “Who, one of us?”

“Course not, babe. Hyung would be bawling like Jisung if it was.” Jongin joked, wrapping himself around Baekhyun's back.

Baekhyun laughed, agreeing with a nod.

“Okay, first of all, fuck you. And secondly, a kid from A, probably seventeen or so, got bitten, trapped under a shelf. He was a decent kid, not sure any of us really knew him.” Chanyeol explained.

It was so selfish of them, but it was so reassuring to know it wasn’t anyone that really… mattered to them. It wasn’t Sehun, it wasn’t Yifan, so… it was hard to care as cruel as it sounded.

Someone would mourn the poor kid, whether it be his friends, his family, even Yifan. Either way, he would be appreciated by Baekhyun, because at least it hadn’t been any of his family.

In Baekhyun's mind, the kid was a sacrifice, and he would appreciate it.

“Okay, okay, I worked on this shit all day- you know how hard it is to get Luhan to keep his mouth shut?” Kyungsoo growled, turning to open the watchtower entrance.

Baekhyun raised a brow at that, now that he thought about it he hadn’t really seen Kyungsoo very many times today. “Soo, love you, but you know I hate walking those stairs.”

Baekhyun heard a snigger before Jongin was throwing him over his shoulder, “You don’t mind them when we’re making love in them, gorgeous.”

The younger gasped as the other two laughed, reaching down to hit Jongin's butt playfully, “You're so sleazy these days!”

“I prefer seductive.” Jongin laughed, pinching Baekhyun thigh as he climbed the stairs, “And you have zero room to talk, you bat your eyelashes and then ask us to make love to you practically daily.”

“In my defense!” Baekhyun giggled, wiggling slightly just to make it harder for Jongin to keep him still, “In my defense, you guys like it!”

“Nobody is arguing, beautiful.” Kyungsoo sung softly in the back, Baekhyun glanced up at him tittering.

“Okay, okay! We’re all fiends for Baekhyun, agreed.” Chanyeol joked, pulling open the watchtower door, “Let’s get on with this and see if we’re seeing our baby all pretty and blushing.”

“Ugh, you guys are so crude!” Baekhyun flushed, straightening out his shirt as Jongin set him to his feet.

The three only chuckled and Baekhyun smiled at the noise before looking around.

“Hey, you guys put up lights? Pretty.” The younger said softly, trailing his hand over the lights lining the windows, glancing out at the stars for a second.

“We’re playing a game, love.” Kyungsoo's voice was suddenly extremely soft. It made Baekhyun turn around with a raised brow.

Baekhyun peeked up, “A game? What game?”

Jongin smiled sweetly, reaching out to grab Baekhyun's wrist, “Look, darling.” He cooed, turning Baekhyun to stand with his back against his chest, “That box, there’s something very special inside, see if you can find it.”

“I love games.” The youngest whispered, a happy smile as he walked over to the wooden box.

It was a simple oak, Baekhyun pulled it open and almost turned to whine when he only saw a stack of polaroids in them before gawking and pulling the box into his lap as he moved to sit on the edge of the window, swinging his legs. “When’d you take these?”

“Different times, baby.” Chanyeol said softly, “They're all in order, at the camp, on the road, here.”

Baekhyun hummed and went silent as he looked at the pictures.

Him and Taeyong, probably around the first day at the camp in the forest so long ago, sleeping curled together.

The next was just their backs, but it was definitely him and Kyungsoo, the prettiest of looks from what Baekhyun could see on the profile of his soulmate as he stared at him, both sitting in the back of a truck.

Baekhyun sorted through a few others, some even so horrible blurry that he had to laugh, a few of Taeyongs face up close that he wondered if they had just thrown these ones in on accident. But he knew they did it just because he would have liked them.

Chanyeol and him doing nothing but holding onto each other, the elder resting his forehead on Baekhyun's and Baekhyun thought he looked horrible in it, his cheekbones way too sharp, must have been around when they first arrived here.

Jongin was always so handsome, even in the photo of him taking a picture, slightly blurry as it showed Baekhyun laying on his chest, dead asleep by the looks of it.

Baekhyun knew he was being much too quiet, he should be asking all kinds of questions- and he would, eventually- but he was mainly trying to focus on not crying because he was so happy.

Just when he thought he wasn’t going to cry, he pulled out the last photo, hand already so full of them he had to put them back into the box. Moving it out of his lap as he stood up.

Carrying the picture over he knelt down and offered it, “Yes.”

They didn’t need to really say anything, pulling Baekhyun into the middle of the bed and sliding the pretty ring onto his hand, he was so happy, and even when he noticed his three soulmates crying, he couldn’t stop the tears, because he didn’t think he had ever been so endeared and in love in his life.

“I love you.”

“We love you, little husband.”

~~~~~~~~

“My baby husband!”

Baekhyun snickered, turning around in Jongin's arms and playfully rolling his eyes, “Are you going to only say that from now on?”

“Do you have any other name?” Jongin gawked before bursting into the cutest laughter Baekhyun had ever seen from the man’s lips. “Baby! Baby! Baby!” He sung, his arms around Baekhyun's waist lifting his feet off the ground and making Baekhyun squeal in delight, wrapping his arms tightly around Jongin's neck.

“You’re gonna drop me!” Baekhyun giggled, pressing his smile into Jongin's cheek as he wrapped his legs around Jongin's thighs- an odd angle and hard when the man was only holding his waist and not his legs, “Hyung, don't drop me!”

“Ugh, Jongin- do you and Chanyeol always need to man handle him like this?” Kyungsoo deadpanned, patting Baekhyun's ass and giving him zero help which in turn made him receive the cutest pout.

Chanyeol looked up from his movie, confused. “What do you mean? You do it too!”

“Nini!” Baekhyun huffed into his temple, trying to wiggle his way into his hold correctly, “Hold me right!” He pouted.

Jongin beamed, dropping his hands down to Baekhyun's ass and lifting his hips up to his waist, where he belonged. “I’d never drop you, love. Hm? How mean would I be to drop my little husband?”

Baekhyun's mouth curled up on a smirk, going to respond when Chanyeol cut in. “Wait! Wait! Let me guess: you have a husband? And then you and Jongin are going to go back and forth for a while and then kick me off the bed to make love, right?”

The youngest in the room turned a pretty pink, tightening his hold on Jongin's neck at the laughter, “Hey! You can’t do that, Chanyeollie!”

“I like that game.” Jongin added, pressing his mouth to a bite on the curve of Baekhyun's shoulder, “It’s fun.”

“Yeah!” Baekhyun pouted cutely, pressing his cheek to Jongin's throat as he looked at Chanyeol. “No fun, Yeol.”

“No fun, Yeol.” Jongin parroted with a laugh, moving to sit in the office chair in the corner, “Let’s play amongst ourselves, huh? Or should we just skip to the part where you’re naked?”

Baekhyun beamed, playfully leaning forward to nip at Jongin's jaw because he knew his husband liked it so much, immediately earning a hiss and Jongin adjusting him in his lap so he didn’t sit directly over his dick.

“God, is nobody going to congratulate me about how spot on I was?” Chanyeol whined, “My own husband doesn’t even appreciate my efforts, okay then.”

Baekhyun snorted and climbed out of Jongin's lap, “I always appreciate you, Hyung.” He cooed, flopping down onto his stomach at the end of the mattress, his brown hair laying on the edge as he pressed his cheek to the mattress. “Wouldn’t have said yes otherwise.”

“You’re so sassy recently.” Kyungsoo said, a dark edge to his tone, “Love it, beauty, keep it up and we won’t be able to handle you though.”

“Maybe I don’t want you to handle me.” Baekhyun laughed, swinging his calves up into the air and smiling.

Chanyeol's mouth twisted into an amused expression as he reached over to run his large palm down Baekhyun's spine, the touch sending goosebumps across Baekhyun's skin regardless that his shirt blocked most of it, “Careful, sweetheart. Your husbands handle you the best, gorgeous, tell me we don’t when you’re moaning for us so often, baby?”

Baekhyun licked his tongue, a high pitched giggle coming from him as Chanyeol punctuated his sentence with a pat on his ass. “Hyung!” He squeaked, crawling more into the bed to press his cheek to Chanyeol's thigh, head turned towards Kyungsoo and Jongin, “Hyung, you moan for me!” He called out, face already red at his own words.

He saw Kyungsoo and Jongin laughing and smiled sweetly before hands were pulling him up, large hands holding his tiny waist as he was manipulated to straddle Chanyeol's lap, a position he was more than familiar with by now.

Baekhyun's hands immediately took purchase on the elders shoulders, expression becoming hooded as he looked down at Chanyeol.

“You bet we do, sweet pea.” Kyungsoo smirked, Baekhyun could only lick his lips as he glanced at his expression, “Love you so fucking much, buttercup, everything you do is so sexy.”

The youngest beamed, sitting his hips back into Chanyeol and purposely leaning his head back because he knew they liked the curve of his neck- to mark it up and he liked it too- their touch only, their hands only, their mouths only, nobody else.

“Let’s play again.” Baekhyun suggested, smirking as he leaned down to press his nose to Chanyeol's collarbone, rubbing his face into the firm muscle on his soulmate like a puppy. “I like to call you my husbands now, makes me feel safer.”

“Oh, lovely. Our pretty, pretty little husband.” Jongin purred, immediately strolling over and pressing his hand on Baekhyun's spine, silently urging the smaller down onto Chanyeol's chest more, “Let's keep bonding then, my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... expected or unexpected? 
> 
> Nobody pointed out a few chapters ago they mentioned finding a ring!


	39. Pigs

Baekhyun smiled, swinging Kyungsoo's hand as they walked through the cell blocks.

“Do you think Taeyong has gotten better?” Kyungsoo asked quietly so as to not allow his voice to echo as they came back from watch, lights off and it was only dimly lit by the windows and morning sun rising.

“I was going to… I don’t know, I think the four of us should sit down and talk about it soon.” Baekhyun replied, smiling as Kyungsoo pulled his hand to his face just to press a kiss to Baekhyun's ring. “Maybe talk to Taeyong about it too… I don’t know, he’s just so… quiet these days, he’s fine one second and then the next I feel like he’s not even listening to what I’m saying.”

“Well… he is a teenager, baby. I mean, we went through the worst teen phases ever, Taeyong doesn’t seem nearly as bad as Jongin was.” The elder joked, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's ear, “Jongin literally got in arguments with us everyday, got so bad him and Chanyeol fist fought and both got grounded. Best summer ever, those two shitheads couldn’t come interrupt me.”

Baekhyun covered his mouth with his other hand as he stifled his laughter, “Interrupt your what? You studying during summer? My nerd.”

“Agh.” Kyungsoo faked annoyance, turning to press Baekhyun's back into the wall, “Wish I never told you that, won’t let me live it down, beautiful? Hm? You’re so rude to your husbands these days, two days of you wearing that ring and you think you rule the world, right?”

“Rule you.” Baekhyun giggled, pressing his lips beneath Kyungsoo's ear, “I’m the king, Hyung.”

Kyungsoo beamed.

The boys had been so obsessed with Baekhyun's playfulness lately, the youngest almost seeming like he perpetually wanted to torture them.

It was adorable, and it was heartwarming when they remembered their self conscious baby who flinched when they would open the tent door too fast, who didn’t believe their compliments or affectionate confessions for anything.

And now Baekhyun fed off of it, giving out attention and his love like it made him so extremely excited to do so.

He still had nightmares, but he calmed a lot faster. He still had insomnia, but they had ways of wearing him out. He still got a bit frazzled and didn’t understand things sometimes, but these were things they’d easily take over how he used to be.

How hard it was to see Baekhyun like that, so scared, so afraid of literally everything. Confessions, praise, affection, it used to be so hard for him. And they loved him back then just as much as they did now, but now… everything was laid out.

There were no secrets. Not between them, not between the group, not even from Taeyong. And they knew that alone gave Baekhyun so much relief.

Maybe it was also a factor in his newfound confidence and happiness. Or, maybe it was all the support Baekhyun had that helped him swim his way out of drowning and just breathe.

Just breathe.

“You want to know why I wanted to be alone? Sixteen year old me getting all fed up with Jongin and Yeol for ruining all my time, hm?” Kyungsoo purred, pressing his lips below Baekhyun's ear and running his thumbs over the soft skin of his soulmates hip bones, he heard Baekhyun release a pleased sigh against his collarbone and smirked. “Thinking about you, baby. Hormonal teenager… you know what I was thinking about, little minx, always knew you’d be fucking gorgeous… but not like this.”

Baekhyun's breath caught, his foot bumping Kyungsoo’s with how fast he scooted closer, pressing himself right against the elder.

Truthfully, he had no idea what had gotten into him the past few months- ever since he and Kyungsoo had slept together. It was for memories, yes. But it was also so nice, so fun.

He never knew loving would be like this, never knew making love would consist of such pleasure. Maybe he was addicted, probably to the ways the boys cared for him more than sex itself.

The adoring compliments and also seductive words they’d say to each other, the way Baekhyun got to see and feel them pant his name like it was all they knew- the wet mouths breathing love into his skin. How his fingers searched their bodies, and he was amazed, everytime- even though he had lost count now.

He had so many good memories now, and he only wanted more, wanted more memories of them licking over his skin. Kisses rough but also tender, eyes attentive and lustful.

Rough hands that could grip him tightly, but he was never trapped. And he was never afraid, not when they made sure he was safe every time. Even if his cheek was pressed into the mattress and they were whispering such filthy things- it was never forceful. And they never called him anything negative, nothing but sweet praises, only things that made him whimper with need.

“Wish I knew your name back then, wish I knew your face back then.” Kyungsoo added, his fingers skimming over Baekhyun's lower back beneath his shirt, voice husky and getting deeper as he whispered. “You don’t know how many times I touched myself to you, fuck it would have been so many more if I knew you were like this. If I knew you were fucking gorgeous and so sweet, so seductive without even trying. God, I’d have gotten on my knees for you so fast, as soon as you asked me too.”

“I’m here now.” Baekhyun's voice was merely a breath, and he was surprised he and Kyungsoo weren’t running back to their cell by now, stripping each other until one of them would get fed up and impatient. “Here now, Hyung. Don’t want you to touch yourself.. I like to touch you.”

Kyungsoo hummed, and the sound went straight to Baekhyun's chest, “Fuck if I don’t know it, baby. This little mouth, your pretty little hands, you drive me crazy, lovely.”

It was kind of funny how Kyungsoo was saying such dirty things to him, but the two of them weren’t really doing anything. Baekhyun didn’t feel Kyungsoo's hardness when he pressed against him and he didn’t necessarily feel like he was aroused either.

It was just nice. Nice to hear that they wanted him so badly, nice to feel Kyungsoo pressed against him and know that if he wanted to be intimate it was only a kiss away.

Baekhyun didn’t know if that was Kyungsoo's point in bringing up his story in the first place, because the boys still never really asked him when they were horny or when they wanted to be intimate- something Baekhyun wanted to talk about soon- but Kyungsoo didn’t really seem like he was interested in much more than holding him and talking to him, which Baekhyun loved anyways.

“Me too.”

Kyungsoo laughed quietly, pressing a soft kiss to Baekhyun's jaw, “Me too.” He teased, arms wrapping fully around his soulmates waist beneath his shirt.

The younger smiled at the teasing, moving his face up to press softly against Kyungsoo's, “Love you.”

And, like always, his soulmate was smiling, pressing his lips softly to the youngers, “And I love you, sweet pea.”

Baekhyun smiled, standing on his toes to press his mouth firmer to his soulmates, fingers moving to hold the side of Kyungsoo's cheek to keep him still as he pressed his lips to his husbands.

They stayed like this for a while. Soft, innocent kisses pressing to each other’s lips.

And then an odd groan sounded from the closed cell block behind them, cell block D. Baekhyun made a confused noise against Kyungsoo's mouth. Moving to cuddle his cheek to the elders collarbone, listening.

He felt Kyungsoo do the same, gently setting his hand in Baekhyun's hair and chewing his lip with a furrowed brow.

A scream, and they took off.

Baekhyun reached into his hoodie pocket to grab his knife while Kyungsoo swung the door open.

“We have a breach!” Kyungsoo yelled as loud as he could down the halls, at least some of the other must be up by now.

Baekhyun ran up to a walker, seeing people climbing out of their cells and screaming, so much screaming. “Stay in your cells!”

He felt slightly bad about yanking the walker back by the hair, stabbing it in the temple when he knew so many people were looking- people that were sheltered.

The real question was why there were walkers inside closed quarters.

“Baek!”

Baekhyun ignored the sound of his group running to aid and cringed as he saw a man get bitten right in the neck, ignoring it, he turned to grab a young child from the floor, passing the kid over to a random woman crying, “Are you bit?”

The woman shook her head, tears and shaky hands as she held the kid. “Go. Get out of here.” Baekhyun ordered, running up to the second level and opening peoples cell doors, “If you’re not bit, get out- go!”

“Are you bit?” Sunmi began to copy, “All right, go. Get up.” She sighed, pulling the older man up, “Get back in the cell. Here, stay here.”

Baekhyun urged them last people out of the cells and sent them down the stairs, his hands bloodied as he wrapped them around the bars and leaned over the second level, “Are we clear down here?”

“Yeah!” Yifan confirmed, “Come down!”

Listening, Baekhyun sulked down the stairs, “We're safe?” He asked, walking over to the cell he saw his group crowding.

“Oh, it's Seungkwan.” Baekhyun added, a pitiful frown on his face as he peered over Yixings arm and looked down at the bloody walker, “What… his eyes..”

The walkers eyes were red where they should have been white, and trails of blood flowed from them.

“No bites. No wounds. I think he just died. Horribly, too. Pleurisy aspiration.” Yixing said softly, turning over the walkers wrist.

Baekhyun stiffened, backing into Chanyeol's chest to which the larger immediately was wrapping him up into his chest.

“Choked to death on his own blood. Caused those trails down his face.”

“I've seen them before on a walker outside the fences.” Zitao mumbled.

“They're from the internal lung pressure building up-- like if you shake a soda can and pop the top. Only imagine your eyes, ears, nose, and throat are the top.” Dr. S explained, nodding to Yixing.

Baekhyun had never spoken to the man before, always only running to Yixing, but he knew the doctor was teaching his Hyung, so that was reason enough to think him a decent man.

“It's a sickness from the walkers?” Sehun wondered.

“No, these things happened before they were around. Could be pneumococcal. Most likely an aggressive flu strain.” Yixing corrected.

“Hell, he was just eating barbecue yesterday. How could somebody die in a day just from a cold?” Luhan frowned, leaning into Sehun's arm uncomfortably.

Yifan chewed his lip, “I had a sick pig, it died quickly. And saw a sick boar in the woods.”

Doctor S looked up at them concerned, “Pigs and birds. That's how these things spread in the past. We need to do something about those hogs.”

Sunmi popped in, wiping her hands on her jeans, “Maybe we got lucky. Maybe these two cases are it.”

“Haven't seen anybody be lucky in a long time. Bugs like to run through close quarters.” Minseok disagreed sadly. “Doesn't get any closer than this.”

“All of us in here, we've all been exposed.” Yixing began, standing to his feet, “We need to have a council meeting.”

Baekhyun sighed as everyone began to leave the cell block. He saw Yifan locking it up, and knew later they’d come back to clean it.

“No scratches or bites?” Chanyeol questioned softly, arm around Baekhyun even though the younger was disgustingly covered in blood and Chanyeol looked relatively clean.

“None, Jongin on watch still?”

Chanyeol nodded as Kyungsoo opened the door to the courtyard. “Yup… but it doesn't look like it anymore.”

Taeyong ran over to Baekhyun, wrapping his arms around his brother's waist. He sent Jongin a confused look at the elder holding Junmyeon around the waist. “Sprained it.” Jongin commented, face contorting in concern at the three of them.

“Hey, you might want to stay back.” Kyungsoo said softly, gently urging Taeyong away.

“Hyungs, I'm sorry. I didn't see you come out.”

“It's okay. We’re here. We’re fine. But back away.” Baekhyun ordered, pulling the teenager from his chest.

Taeyong stepped away and looked teary eyed, “I had to use one of the guns by the gate. I swear I didn't want to.”

“I was coming back from the creak. I fell. They came out and helped me.” Junmyeon added immediately, “Are you alright? What happened in there?”

“Seungkwan got sick last night. It's some kind of flu. It moves fast. We think he died and attacked the cell block.” Chanyeol said gently, then looking down at Taeyong, “Look, we know he was your friend and I'm sorry. He was a good kid. We lost a lot of good people, bug.”

Baekhyun couldn't help the pang of sadness as Taeyong sucked in a deep breath.

“Minseok is okay, but he was in there.” Kyungsoo told Junmyeon. “You shouldn't get too close to anyone that might have been exposed, at least for a little while.”

“All of you.” Taeyongs voice cracked and they wanted nothing more to reach out for him.

Baekhyun knelt down and wanted so badly to hold his brother, his brother who never cried- he hadn’t seen him cry in probably over a year. “You stay with Jongin, bug, and you don’t go near cell block D or anyone else, okay?”

Taeyong only cried and went to grab Junmyeon’s other arm to help him inside.

~~~~~~~~

“Seungkwan was fine yesterday, and he died overnight.” Yifan began, looking across the table.

It was hard for Baekhyun to just stand across from his family, the council room practically separated directly in half as those that had gone inside and those that hadn’t stared at each other in concern.

“Two people died that quick?” Taehyung wondered.

“We'll have to separate everyone that's been exposed.” Yixing confirmed.

“That's everyone in that cell block. That's all of us. Maybe more. We know that this sickness can be lethal. We don't know how easily it spreads.” Luhan murmured, taking a seat.

Baekhyun could feel Jongin staring at him, and he knew how bad it was hurting that they couldn’t near each other right now, and Baekhyun felt like shit.

Even though he had showered and cleaned up, he still felt like shit.

“Is anyone else showing symptoms that we know of?”

Jimin sighed, “We can't just wait and see.”

“And there's children. It isn't just an illness. If people die, they become a threat. We need a place for them to go.” Yifan stated firmly.

“They can't stay in D. We can't risk going in there to clean it up...Death row?” Junmyeon suggested.

“I'm not sure that's much of an upgrade.” Yoongi frowned.

“It's clean. That's an upgrade. Think that'll work for Dr. S?” Chanyeol commented, hand on his brothers shoulder. “I'll help get it set up.”

“There's some empty clean cells in the tombs, right?” Yixing asked.

“Yeah, we'll meet you there. Okay. Come on. Let's get you settled.” Yifan began, “Have to call another meeting later.”

“I'll get to burying the dead ones.” Kyungsoo offered.

Baekhyun stiffened, “You wear gloves and a mask.”

Kyungsoo smiled softly and brushed his hand against Baekhyun's cheek, “Of course.”

Baekhyun leaned against the back of a chair, accepting the small pats to his back as people walked out.

“Baby, you all right?” Jongin whispered across the table, nodding at Sunmi as she walked out leaving the two alone.

“I’m worried about the kids. They were around Seungkwan. There were a lot of kids there, Hyung.” Baekhyun muttered, a slight breathiness to his voice.

“Well I’ll tell you this, sweetheart.” Jongin said softly, Baekhyun could almost hear how badly the other wanted to reach out for him, “Taeyong is staying out of it, he’s going to be healthy. We’re going to be healthy, now let’s get going, doll.”

~~~~~~~~

“Are you seeing this? Is someone feeding these things?” Chanyeol yelled, using a metal rod to hold the collapsing fence, “Heads up! This part of the fence, now!”

The metal started creaking and sweat beaded on his temple from the strength of walkers all hanging on it.

“Hold on, hold on. Hey, hey, hey. It's gonna give! It's gonna give!” Minseok struggled, holding the wooden fortification in place.

“Everybody back! Come on, back, now.” Yifan yelled, pulling Sehun's collar and making him get off the fence.

Yoongi frowned, kicking dirt around the wooden peg for support, “The fence keeps bending in like that, those walkers are coming over it.”

“Yeol, get the truck. I know what to do.” Yifan said, a determined look on his face as he went to round up the pigs.

~~~~~~~~~

Taeyong frowned as he heard the basement door open, arranging the cross in his hand. “You know if Seungkwan was Catholic?”

“He said he was a practicing atheist. Did you tell your brother what you saw in the library the other day?”

“Nope.”

Sunmi rubbed her eyes, watching the teenager angle a nail into the wood, “Are you going to tell him? I have to keep teaching those kids to survive. You know that.”

The teenager shrugged, not looking at her even though he knew it was the nice thing to do, to pay attention to her. “Did you tell their parents?”

“No.”

“Are you gonna tell them?”

The woman crossed her arms, feeling like she was being scolded by a teenager- and she kind of was, “If I do, maybe after this they'll understand. But maybe they won't. I don't want to take that risk.”

“That's between you and them.”

“No.” Sunmi said softly, “It's between you and me. If you tell your brother, he'll tell his soulmates and they’ll tell Yifan. And like I said, maybe they'll understand, maybe they won't.”

Taeyong huffed, sitting back on his heels and pushing his hair away, “I don't want to lie to my brother, you know we don’t lie- Baekhyun hates lying.”

“I'm not asking you to lie. I'm asking you not to say anything.”

~~~~~~~~

Taeyong gulped, walking up to the empty pig pin that Chanyeol was taking down, blood soaking the front of his shirt and he was positive it wasn’t his Hyungs.

“Not this time.” Chanyeol said firmly, stopping Taeyong from entering the torn down pin.

“Think the pigs made them sick?” The teenager asked softly, stepping back and watching Chanyeol pull the wooden boards out of the ground.

“Or we made the pigs sick.” Chanyeol sighed, leaning against the wood, kicking the tool box at his feet, “I think we should stay away from Jisung for a while. Just in case.”

“Okay. I don't like it, but- we have to protect him.” Taeyong said under his breath, sadness in his voice.

Chanyeol gulped, rubbing his eyes, “Yes, we do.”

Taeyong nodded, picking with the edge of a wide peg and then chewing his cheek, “Hey, Hyung.”

“Yes, bug.”

“Sunmi… has been teaching the kids…” Taeyong stopped to sigh and chew his lip, “... how to use weapons. How to kill. Their parents don't know and she doesn't want you to know. I think you should let her. I know you're gonna say it's not up to you. But it can be.”

Chanyeol didn’t respond, only opening his tool box, pulling out a cloth covered item.

“... Hyung?”

“Thank you for telling me.” Chanyeol said deeply, standing to his feet. “I won't stop her. I won't say anything.”

Taeyong nodded, eyes watering and he had no idea why as Chanyeol unwrapped the item, his gun and it's holster.

“I need you to protect your family again, okay?” The elder whispered, handing the items over, pressing his palm to Taeyongs forehead, “Because it's us, right, bug? It’s only us.”

The teenagers eyes darkened with determination, clipping his holster around his waist, “I love you, Hyung. I’m sorry… I know I’ve been pretty hard on you guys- and- I love you.”

“I love you.” Chanyeol said immediately, eyes watery as he pressed his lips to Taeyongs forehead, “We’re family, and we love you, Tae. Hyungs don’t tell you that often anymore, but we do, we love you just as much as Baekhyun, okay? You’re our little brother, not just Baekhyun's.”


	40. Death Row

“We have to tell them. It's starting.”

Baekhyun cleared his throat of the itchiness in it, resting his tired face on his chin.

“It's spread. Everyone who survived the attack in cell block D. Jinhoo, Joshua, and now others.” Dr. S explained.

Usually, people who were not council members were not allowed in here, but it seemed a lot of things were messed up lately.

“Oh, Jesus. So what do we do?” Jungkook groaned, curling himself around Taehyung's arm across the table from Baekhyun.

“First things first. Death row block is isolation. We keep the sick people there… But what are we gonna do to stop this?” Yifan mumbled, genuinely looking scared.

“There is no stopping it. You get it, you have to go through it.” Yixing said firmly, staring at a paper Baekhyun couldn't see, the tiredness of his eyes was affecting a lot apparently.

He hadn’t slept at all, not when he hadn’t been able to see any of his soulmates, they had been out so late- and Baekhyun had moved himself into a bed on the watch tower because he didn’t want to risk running into Taeyong or Jisung. “But it just kills you?”

“The illness doesn't. The symptoms do. We need antibiotics.” Dr. S explained.

Baekhyun groaned at the mention of antibiotics, not a good experience last time. He wrapped his arms around himself and frowned at the wet spots seeping through his shirt. It wasn’t that hot in here, was it?

“We've been through every pharmacy nearby. And then some.” Chanyeol shook his head.

Yixing laid his paper down on the table, “That veterinary college at West Peachtree Tech, that's one place people may not have thought to raid for medication. The drugs for animals there are the same we need.” He pointed at what Baekhyun now read as a map.

“That's miles. I'm gonna take a group out.” Sehun said quickly, leaning over to look at the map. “Best not waste any more time.”

“I'm in.” Taehyung agreed.

“You haven't been exposed. Sehun has.” Yifan frowned, “You get in a car with him…”

“He's already given me fleas.” Taehyung rolled his eyes, “Yeol, you in?”

Baekhyun didn’t hear his response, assuming he nodded over Sehun's offended noises.

“I can lead the way. I know where everything is kept.” Yixing said quietly.

“No, we’re going to need you here, Hyung. We only have two doctors- we’ll need you.” Kyungsoo disagreed softly.

“I can draw you a map.” The medic muttered, mind changed. “But. There are other precautions I feel we should take.”

Baekhyun suddenly felt like he was in an inferno, his hands were soaked in sweat. Now, his heart was racing, looking around and hoping nobody noticed his hair was close to dripping, best to stay quiet.

“Like what?” Jongin asked tiredly.

“There's no telling how long it'll be before Yeol and his group return. Wouldn't it make sense for us to separate the most vulnerable?”

Yifan agreed immediately, hands resting on his soulmates shoulders, “We can use the administration building. Separate office, separate room.”

“Who is the most vulnerable?” Junmyeon asked, holding his crutches under his arms.

“First, Jisung and Taeyong… the young… uh- the old.. people with weakened immune systems. Those with medical issues.” Yixing answered. It was selfish of him to call out Jisung and Taeyong so fast, but this was their little family… and they wouldn’t let those two in a risky situation.

Baekhyun was having a hard time paying attention, all he was thinking about was getting out of here and taking a cold shower- his fear was probably causing him to react like this.

Better to hope so.

~~~~~~

“Hey.”

Taeyong huffed, tossing his things into his backpack.

“It's for your own good.” Kyungsoo added, arm resting over his head as he watched the teenager shove his clothes away.

Taeyongs cell was always messy, all of his books and comics sprawled everywhere. But what the boys really liked was his scribbly drawings all over the place, covering the walls.

The teenager liked art. And his Hyungs supported his hobby wholeheartedly. It was probably the reason the top bunk in Taeyongs cell was home to a bunch of art supplies.

“I'm fine. I don't want to be locked away with a bunch of kids.”

Kyungsoo sighed, Taeyong was also hard to convince. “Listen. We need you in there keeping an eye on Jisung and everybody else. Making sure they're safe. If anybody gets sick, you let us know.”

Taeyongs face was expressionless as he tossed the backpack on, “What if they've already turned when I find them?”

“You don't fire unless you absolutely need to.” The elder said softly, brushing the teenagers hair out of his face.

God, it was so easy to forget how big Taeyong had gotten, no longer that scrawny child that wanted everyone’s attention, face no longer round with baby fat.

It was painful.

“But you know I might need to, right Hyung?” Taeyong searched Kyungsoo's face and the man licked his mouth nervously, nodding as he pulled the teenager into his arms.

Kyungsoo pressed his nose to Taeyongs hair, “Tae… you protect yourself, okay? As far as we’re… we’re selfish, right? You know we are.. so-so it’s you and Jisung first; you agree, don’t you?”

Taeyong nodded into his chest, “It’s just us, Hyung.”

“That’s right, bug.”

~~~~~~~

“It's gonna be okay.”

Baekhyun coughed, leaning over the edge of the mattress, facing the wall, the darkness welcome because for some reason the light was burning his eyes.

Not like when you step out into the light after waking up- no, it was like fire.

His hands were shaking as he reached out to grab his water, his finger brushed it and the metal bottle rolled away loudly. Baekhyun was too exhausted to chase after it and instead let out a loud wheeze, leaning over his lap.

“It's gonna be okay.” He coughed.

“Baby- I brought you-“

“Don’t.” Baekhyun hissed, reaching a hand out towards the door and keeping his face in the darkness, “Don't- don't come in.”

Jongin frowned, pulling back the sheet in the doorway, “What is it, sweetheart?”

Baekhyun had to puff out air, “I have it.” He gulped and ran a hand through his hair.

It was sticky. His sweat was literally dripping off the strands. He had come up here to hide after showering, never even had enough strength to do more than put pants on before he had fell back against the wall in pain.

“No, you don’t.” Jongin said firmly, “Hey, look at me. You’re probably just having a bit of a scare. Let me see-“

Baekhyun turned to look at him, and he must have looked just as horrible as he felt because Jongin immediately looked near tears. “I have it, Hyung.”

“N-o.” The elder cried, stepping out of the doorway, “Help! Someone help!”

Jongin was always quick to defend him, fast to coddle him, and looked physically pained because they had nothing- there was nothing to do. Baekhyun would either succumb to the symptoms or get over it- it was a waiting game.

“Take- I need to go- t-to death row.” Baekhyun cried, his voice more of harsh breathing than anything. “H-yung-“

“No.” Jongin growled, “No, you stay here. Stay here, you’re not going to die- it’s not possible- stop. Maybe-maybe Hyung will let you stay he-here… I don’t- don't want you with all the sick people, you need to recover separately.”

“Jon-“ Baekhyun cut himself off as he fell forward, his hands almost not catching his fall, arms only holding his body weight for a second before he found his naked chest on the ground, vision blurring.

“Yixing! Help! Someone help me!”

Baekhyun couldn't catch his breath, and the floor felt way better to lay on than the bed, it was cooler- he just wanted to rest for a little.

“It’s Baekhyun! It’s Baekhyun!”

He swore he saw shadows walking in, but he was long asleep.

~~~~~~~~

“Where are you going?” Taeyong demanded, gun in his hand as he stood outside the door where all of the kids were moved to.

Yixing sighed, “I'm down here away from you because you're supposed to stay away from me, Tae.”

Taeyong raised a brow, crossing his arms. “I've been walking the halls. My Hyung told me to look out for everyone.”

“Well, you should keep your distance.” The medic replied, cautiously stepping around the teenager.

“You're walking towards the exit.” Taeyong observed.

“I need to go out there.”

“Why and where?” The teenager demanded, “Yifan Hyung said nobody leaves.”

“Okay, I’m not sugar coating it for you, Taeyong. You’re not a child anymore, right?” The medic said firmly, an annoyed tone because he shouldn’t be taking orders from a fourteen year old. “Your brother is sick, I’m going to the woods.”

Taeyongs mouth opened and he blanked his face in a way that always made members of his family upset because he was only a kid, he shouldn't have to hide his feelings from them. “No. He could die- I won’t- that’s… that's not possible- not my Hyung. Not.. no, you’re lying.”

“Does it look like I’m lying, Taeyong? Look at me, look. We’re concerned- very, very concerned. But I’m not going to treat you like a child- we’re over that phase. Baekhyun is either going to live or die- so you need to let me go to the woods and try to save his life, okay?”

Yixing saw Taeyong’s lip tremble, but the teenagers blank face remained the same. “If you have to go, then I have to come with you.”

“Taeyong.” The medic warned.

“That’s my brother!” Taeyong finally looked pissed, “That’s my brother! You don’t know how much he’s done for me, s-so you need to let me come. He doesn’t get t-to go through so much and die from this! This? A fucking sickness! No-o… not when I haven’t- thanked him! I have to.”

Yixing watched him with a slightly shocked look as Taeyong breathed angrily, calming himself down.

“I have to, Hyung.”

~~~~~~~~

“I swear, it's just allergies.”

Luhan sighed, rubbing his eyes as he held the door open for those that were experiencing symptoms. “Jeanette.” He warned through his mask.

“They come and go.”

“Jeanette.”

“Ask anyone from Woodbury.”

“Jeanette.”

The woman sighed and walked in, the coughing already hard to hear and it was loud with the growing number of people in death row block.

Seeing Jongin carry Baekhyun's limp, only partially dressed body in a while ago… It was hard. It made Luhan shake because his oldest friend was still, too still. And he had never seen his group look so concerned in their almost two years together.

The group had watched Jongin through the windows carry Baekhyun into a cell, the man dressed in gloves and a mask- it didn’t hide his tears, and he looked so afraid-Baekhyun's soulmates looked more afraid than all of those that had shown up combined.

Yixing, Minseok, Yifan, Junmyeon… many more of them that had only been there to stare at Baekhyun as if the last time they’d see him alive.

It was a horrible thought, but they had been lucky Chanyeol was out or he was sure it would have been a bloodbath.

And if Baekhyun doesn’t make it before he gets back.. well, it was going to be a massacre. Chanyeol was wild, nobody could anticipate what he’d do- but then again… Jongin and Kyungsoo already weren’t handling it well… denying the possibility of Baekhyun not surviving with every nerve in their bodies.

The door behind Luhan squeaked and he snapped out of his thoughts, looking at the door that led outside. “Lizzie?”

The little girl coughed into her arm, “My.. my sister, Mica, said you were here. I don't feel good.”

The man’s whole face dropped, “It's okay. Don't worry. Hey, don't worry. We're gonna get you better.”

God, he felt like a horrible liar as he opened the door back up, “You just go in there and lie down.” He urged.

Fuck, if the kid had gotten it the chances of Taeyong and Jisung getting it had just gone up drastically- and he’d be damned if he would allow either of them to be walked into here. It already looked like a death trap.

Baekhyun would never forgive him- if he survived.

“Will you tuck me in?”

Luhan gulped, voice apologetic as he used his gloved hand to touch her back, “You know my friend Baekhyun? He's the best tucker I know. And he'll make sure that you feel toasty and warm, okay?”

~~~~~

“When did your brother give it back?” Yixing asked quietly, picking elderberries and shoving them into his cloth bag.

“Chanyeol did yesterday... After everything happened.”

“You've grown a lot these last few months. There's a responsibility about you.” The medic said softly, glancing at Taeyongs back, the teenager scouting with his gun out. “I think it's done you good to step back.”

“Yeah. It was all right.” Taeyong shrugged, “Can't be like that all the time.”

“I would have been fine on my own. It's peaceful out here.” Yixing said softly. “These last couple days, we might be safer outside those walls than in.”

Taeyong went to nod before scoffing, “No, we're not.”

He aimed his gun at a walker. It used to be a woman, her leg caught in a bear trap by the looks of it and slowing her drastically.

“Let's wrap this up.” Yixing sighed.

Taeyong nodded, switching his gun for his knife when Yixing grabbed his arm. “Don't. You don't need to.”

The teenager felt like the elder was searching for something, then Taeyong nodded, turning and grabbing the bag from the medic.

Yixing smiled and wrapped an arm around Taeyongs shoulders, “It was so peaceful.”

“It was.” Taeyong sighed and leaned against his shoulder, “Can't be like that all the time.”


	41. Dead Flower

“It's not as bad as it looks.” Baekhyun panted heavily, placing his palm on the glass in the visitation room.

“Don't do that.” Kyungsoo sobbed, leaning over and pressing his forehead to the edge of their side of the glass, “Fuck- don't.”

Baekhyun gulped, the feeling was like swallowing rubber, “I must be a sight to see.” He tried to joke, but it sounded more like a wheeze as he brought his hand to his mouth, a thick layer of sweat coating his face, “I'm so sorry.”

“Bab-e…” Jongin cried, fingers whitening as he touched glass, “Don't… you’re.. you're gonna be fine, Baekhyun. We could.. have medicine as early as tomorrow. You’ll be the first to get it- the fir-st.. o-okay?”

It hurt to cry, but it hurt even more to see the absolute sobbing on the other side of the glass.

“H-Yixing… he’s making tea for fevers. You’re getting that first too- first, Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo cried, Baekhyun had never seen the amount of fear he saw in the two. “And you’re… you're going to rest and fucking- fucking breath. And you’re going to drink all of the shit they give you- fuck-fuck! If you- Baekhyun if you don’t make this…”

Just the words from the elder had Jongin letting out such a painful noise Baekhyun wanted to risk going out there- assuming he would even make it without collapsing on himself.

“You don’t make this and Hyung- no, all of us… fuck, we’re going to lose it, Baekhyun. B-baby, baby, you need to live… we just- Baek, we just got married… you can’t just…”

Baekhyun wheezed as he pulled his chair up against the glass, leaning his head on it because he was exhausted… his eyes were heavy but he wanted to listen, wanted to see them.

“... you can’t die, it’s not allowed.”

It made the younger laugh, the noise more of a long whistling noise. “I’ll get… get in trouble.”

“That’s right, b-beautiful.” Jongin's eyes were so red Baekhyun wanted to fuss over him, but he was too tired. “Fuck… we love you, baby.. you can’t- you can’t- you’re going to do whatever Yixing Hyung tells you, okay? No.. no fighting or giving up- you’re going to be fine.”

“You don’t..” Baekhyun had to stop to cough, his head on the glass causing it to fog up with his body heat, “... do- do something for me…”

“Whatever you want, love. Whatever you want… we’ll.. we’ll get it to you, sunshine.” Kyungsoo promised immediately.

Baekhyun smiled and hissed as he sat himself up, wobbling slightly as he leaned back against his chair. His own sweat felt so heavy on him even though he wasn’t even wearing a shirt- denied their offer for one, the sweat rolled so fast off his skin, would soak his clothes and weigh him down. “My… in the- box in our room.. there’s a notebook.. I want- want you to give it to Taeyong.”

“You’re not dying, Baekhyun. We just told you… it’s not- we’re not considering it-“

“And… I-want paper… want to write you guys something.. ugh- please, Hyung.. please.” Baekhyun whimpered, his skin itching with how disgusting he felt, “Please.”

“Of c-course.” Jongin's voice was shaking uncontrollably and he couldn’t help but hold Kyungsoo’s hand as his usually level headed Hyung cried. “Babe, of course… we love you, love you more than you know, sweetheart… god, god, we love you so much, Baekhyun. You mean-everything to us.”

“Y-you don't need to worry.” Kyungsoo added, pressing his other hand to the glass and balling up his hand like he couldn’t stand this- none of them could. “D-don't worry, we’ll… take care of Taeyong.. you don’t- don't worry about anything at all… just get better, get better.”

Baekhyun's nose dripped but he was too tired to even open his eyes, only pressing his forehead to the glass. “I love you- love.. all of you so much… tha-thank you for all of this.”

“Baekhyun…” Jongin cried, “Baek… Baek-“

“Your nose- it’s… baby, your nose is … bleeding.”

~~~~~~~

Taeyong was kicking an old bottle across the floor, back pressed against the hard wood of the door to the kids room.

If he was being honest, he was annoyed. They said he wasn’t a kid anymore, promised he wasn’t, but he still felt they treated him so much like a child.

They wouldn’t allow him to help clear the fence, they wouldn’t allow him to go with them on runs, they wouldn’t allow him to help Yixing make the tea.

The tea that could help save his own brother. He felt useless.

His job now was to sit against the door and listen to Jisung cry with the other little kids because Jisung didn’t like anyone but their small family.

He couldn’t blame the toddler, it seems Taeyong rubbed off on him more than he had meant too, because Jisung was still crying directly on the other side.

“Ji, please.” Taeyong groaned, “You're giving Hyung a headache, stop it.”

Taeyong didn't expect the baby to stop, he only cried more if the other kids or teenagers tried to touch him.

The doorknob next to Taeyongs head wiggled and he sighed, sitting up to crack the door, “You need to stop, you can’t come out or you’ll get sick.” He ordered, glaring through the crack.

Jisung sniffed, mouth in a frown, face red from crying. “Out.” He pointed, reaching through the crack to grab at Taeyong’s shirt, “Want Hyung.”

The teenager growled, grabbing the little hand reaching out for him, “You can’t- I’m protecting you, okay?”

“Tae.” Kyungsoo called, his footsteps sounding loud as him and Jongin walked into the administration building, “He can come out, just for a little.”

“Hyung. You guys are not supposed to be here.” Taeyong frowned, keeping the door cracked and ignoring Jisung hitting at him to get through.

“Yeah.” Jongin's voice was raspy and Taeyong looked at him oddly, “Well.. symptoms show in twenty four hours, we would’ve gotten it already. Dr. S cleared us.”

“Oh.” Taeyong whispered, sitting back from the door and letting Jisung out, immediately shutting it because he was still supposed to keep the others quarantined.

Jisung cried and ran to Kyungsoo’s arms immediately, Taeyong gulped.. and he didn’t know why he wanted to do the exact same, but he only sat back against the door because he wasn’t a child.

“Scare.”

“Shh, we know, baby. It’s scary but it’s only for a little longer. Taeyong is watching over you so well, Jisungie.” Kyungsoo said softly, watching the baby immediately look near sleep, having cried himself out.

“He won’t shut up.” Taeyong commented, “Keeps sitting by the door and screaming at the others when they come close to it.”

“Sounds like you right now, huh? Yixing said you interrogated the shit out of him.” Jongin said softly, moving to sit in front of the teenager.

“I have a job to do.” Taeyong defended, “Hyung gave me a job to do- so I’m doing it.”

“And you’re doing really well, we’re all so proud of you, Tae.” Kyungsoo responded, “You're doing so well- if you weren’t maybe Jisung would be down in quarantine too- he's just a baby, Taeyong.”

“Yeah.” Taeyong whispered, “Yeah, well, not that great, if I was then Hyung wouldn’t be down there.”

“We want to talk to you about it, okay? Here. Go put him down in there and we want to talk.” Kyungsoo said carefully.

Taeyong didn’t really argue with them, not when times were like this- not like he really argued that much in general. If he was given a task he always got it done.

But.. when he came back out he was already crying, and it was because he knew. They all knew. And none of them wanted to talk about it, but they needed to.

“He’s going to die.” Taeyongs voice was still so strong even though he was crying that his Hyungs felt even more upset just because he was so strong- but he didn’t have to be- not now, not when it was just them. “Tell me.. tell me. He is, isn’t he? We’ve alr-already lost so many… so many people… they don’t even survive two nights.”

“T-Taeyong.” Kyungsoo began, pulling the teenagers sleeve so he completed their small triangle on the ground, “We’re not.. we’re not here to act like things are fine and we’re sure as hell not going to pretend that we are a hundred percent sure he’s going to live.. we’re just- we’re here, Taeyong.”

“Y-yeah.” Taeyongs nose flared and his chin trembled. “You’re here… you’re here.”

“We have something for you.” Jongin looked away, he had to. If not, he’d be sobbing like a baby again, and it had taken him a good few hours just to calm down enough to venture here. “Baekhyun wanted us to give it to you.”

Taeyong pressed his mouth into a line and nodded once, his tears dropping off his jaw and Kyungsoo resisted comforting him right now because… there really wasn’t a point.

“Do you recognize this?” Jongin whispered, pulling out an old, yellowed notebook, the pages worn down. And Taeyong wailed.

“I-I… look…”

Jongin gave him the notebook immediately, the teenager flipped through it blindly, and it was blank.

Kyungsoo chewed his lip and watched carefully as Taeyong searched.

And searched, and searched. And it was empty, there were no words.

“Tae, I thin-“

“Did you know… you could do this?” Taeyong sniffed and pulled a small wildflower out from between pages. It was all dried out, a blue petal fell off onto the notebook as Taeyong handled it and the teen looked like it had ruined his day- like he was personally attacked at the small petal losing its place.

“H-Hyung loves flowers and- and he told me… told me that if you do this… they’ll stay pretty, always.” Taeyong suddenly looked mad as he picked up the broken petal and set the stem down, “But… but apparently it’s not forever… they’ll break after a while. That’s- that's not fair.”

“Flowers… the-they always wither after a while, bug.” Kyungsoo whispered, reaching out to grab Taeyong’s hand, prying to petal from his fingers and setting it down on the book. “Hey- hey, but we’re not flowers, we’re not broken.”

Taeyong shook his head and threw himself into Kyungsoo’s chest. He hadn’t held the teen in what felt like forever, not like this, not like when he was twelve and liked to be treated like a child. “H-Hyung- w-we will be- if… if Baek-“

“No.” Jongin didn’t bother hiding his tears, regardless that Taeyong shouldn't have to see them. “No. We’re going to take care of each other- no matter what. Eve-even if… if something happens and it’s just… it’s just you, and me, Kyungsoo… Chanyeol. If it’s just us then it’s- it’s okay, right? I mean… it won’t be, not for a long time, but… but we owe it to Baekhyun… to pretend. Okay bug? We love you, and we’ll take care of you… just- just as…”

And it hurt so bad as the three of them cried, Kyungsoo's tears working their way into Taeyong’s hair and Jongin's soaking the back of the teens shirt.

“... we’ll love you just as much as Baekhyun does, Taeyong.”

It wasn’t a promise. It was a fact.

~~~~~~~~~

“Hey, Hyung. I’ve been- I want to talk to you.”

Chanyeol raised a brow, turning to look over his shoulder at Zitao, “Whats up?”

“I guess…” Zitao shrugged slightly and looked at Sehun driving and sparing a glance at Taehyung in the passenger seat, “I just wanted to let you know that… that… the trail was cold. And… and I promised I’d find him, but… Hyung, there’s nothing anymore.”

Chanyeol straightened up in his seat, “That’s… you don’t need to sound so guilty, Tao. We don’t- you don’t need to keep going out anymore… we never… we never asked you to.”

“Yeah…” The younger nodded and shrugged slightly, turning to look out the car window, “Well… it's- it’s wrong, you know? Why… Why do we get to be happy for so little before… something happens and for all we know- that- That piece of shit could be living it up- causing havoc in someone else’s backyard.”

“We don’t… we don’t feel anger anymore.” Chanyeol mumbled, “I mean… it sounds ridiculous, right? If he was here right now, I'd cut him in two. Because that's how it needs to be. But I'm not angry. I was.”

He chuckled at his own words, peering out his own window and heard Zitao moving around. Probably looking at him.

“Then… then how do you.. guys, I’m sure you guys want- want his head more than any of us… but, but… how aren’t you angry.”

Chanyeol heard Sehun rapping his fingers in the steering wheel and knew it was because his brother was ready for him to freak out, to scream and yell.

But he didn’t feel a need to. Maybe before he would have- probably would have made them stop the car so he could let off steam, but things weren’t like that now.

“He raped Baekhyun.” The way Chanyeol stated it made the three listeners concerned, it wasn’t emotional, it wasn’t mad, it was just… a statement. “He did, and that’s.. he deserves to die, but the- the anger isn’t overpowering now.”

“Why?” Taehyung frowned and turned to look in the backseat, “Hyung if that… if that had been Jungkook… I can’t even- We all are pissed and that wasn’t even our soulmate, that was our brother… so, so… how aren’t you absolutely… raging? Livid?”

“Because Baekhyun is alive.” Chanyeol said immediately, “Because… he almost died, but he didn’t. Don’t get me wrong… we’d still feed him to walkers, but… Baekhyun is safe now. He’s happier than he’s ever been right now… months ago if you asked me this I probably would be spitting all kinds of insults, but- but now I just feel lucky… to get another day with Baekhyun. He- he’s irrelevant to our happiness, and he’s not controlling Baekhyun any longer, so… so, i don’t really- we don’t really focus on it anymore. Baekhyun being safe, and happy, it’s enough.”

“Yeah.” Sehun muttered under his breath, “Yeah… Hyung, Hyung really is… He's really good for you, good for everyone. Makes everyone love him.”

“Hey.” Chanyeol suddenly sounded scolding, “Hey, don’t compliment him- reminds me of you flirting when you met him- shut your face before I shut it for you, little brother.”

Sehun only cackled.

~~~~~~~~~

“You shouldn’t be here.”

Yixing only smiled that pretty dimpled one Baekhyun was forever jealous of, “Here, you need some more, every few hours I’m gonna drown you in it, Baek.”

Baekhyun only groaned as the medic sat him up, holding the back of his neck and feeding him the tea.

“Baek, you’re… you…”

“Pretty bad.. huh?” The younger whispered, gulping back his coughing because he wasn’t willing to hack with Yixing so close. “God.. you’re- leave before you get it.”

“End stage is a point that no one comes back from or they- or they can't.” Yixing hissed softly, placing a damp rag on Baekhyun's head.

“That's where I am.” The younger cleared his throat and gulped. “You… you need to focus on the ones that can make it.”

Yixing glared, a look Baekhyun had never seen on his face, “You're not- you're not.”

“Hyung-“

“I made some more IVs. Let’s get you hydrated and some rest.” The medic cut in, mouth twisted as he reached out for his bag. “You need to sleep, rest.”

“What if… I don’t wake up?”

“Shut the fuck up.” Yixing growled, inserting a butterfly needle into his arm, “Listen to me- you listen to me, Baekhyun.” He huffed slightly like he was trying to calm himself down and shook his head.

Baekhyun hadn’t ever thought he could ever see Yixing mad.

“You’re my best friend.” The medic suddenly looked more sad than angry as he readjusted the wet rag soaking up Baekhyun's sweat- it was meant to cool him down, but Baekhyun didn’t think it was helping… not that he’d tell Yixing as much. “You’re my best friend, Baekhyun, and we’re not losing you- I could… Honestly, I only came in here, I only went and got this tea for everyone because you needed it- so, so just sit back and let me… let me try, okay? Beca-because I don’t know what else to do, Baekhyun. I have no fucking clue.”

The younger could only frown, his face wet and Yixing had to wipe his nose off, at least it wasn’t bloody right now.

“Hyung... If you're not ready to lose one, you're gonna lose them all.” Baekhyun dry heaved, turning his head to the side so he wouldn’t contaminate Yixing more than the elder needed to be, “uh- it’s- It's like turning off a light... it'll happen one after the other.”

“I’m ready to lose one.” Yixing argued, standing to his feet. “It’s just not going to be you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m loving all the comments~~~~
> 
> I’m really surprised everyone likes Taeyong’s chapter views so much!


	42. Choke

Baekhyun grunted, holding onto the bars of his cell, coughing into his sleeve as he waited for Yixing to finish locking up cells.

“Have a look. Drink the tea I left you. Gonna be back to check on you in an hour.” He heard the medic say gently, shutting peoples cells.

The pros for being in this block was one, it was dark as shit.

And two, it was dark as shit.

Really, right now it was only bright enough to see if you walked around, but way darker than Baekhyun usually liked.

He was loving it right now though because direct light hurt.

But a bad thing about it was that he had no idea what time it was. It seemed like everyone was up and about- probably all too stressed to do anything other than cry for their loved ones who were locked up.

It could be morning, or it could be the dead of night, and Baekhyun knew no better.

Baekhyun heard gagging behind him, a gurgling and he could have thrown up just at the noise, but he didn’t have energy for that right now.

He gasped on air and turned around, a man had collapsed on the ground.

He was dead. He had to be. Baekhyun knew it by the blood from his eyes, blood from his mouth. And god, Baekhyun wished he wouldn’t die so horribly because he knew his soulmates would want to see him again- say goodbye.

They didn’t deserve to see him look like that.

“Everyone, get back in your cells. Go on, get back in your cells.” Yixing said frantically, waving people away from the bars.

Baekhyun gulped, a raw iron taste as he staggered over towards the stretcher in the corner, he knew the deal by now. Someone dies, he helps Yixing get them on there to be taken out, stabbed in the head and burned.

He leaned most of his body weight over the top of it as he pushed it to the medic, shaking with exhaustion at even the simplest of kicks of his feet. “Let's get him on this.” He panted.

Yixing gently pulled Baekhyun off, making sure he was standing on his feet before turning to lower the stretcher.

Baekhyun couldn't really help very much anymore, if he bent down there was a good chance he was staying down, so he could only watch the medic heave the body into the cot, more like rolling.

“Okay- I-got it.” The younger huffed, trying to push the stretcher towards the visitor room. “Go-Hyung-“

“Go rest. Being a hero takes a lot out of you, sweetie.” Yixing grabbed under his bare arm, pulling him easily, “Can you make it to your cell?”

Normally, Baekhyun would have tried harder to help, to do anything that made him not feel useless. But he was a hundred percent sure he was going to collapse, “Y-Yeah.. yeah.”

Yixing watched the small man, making sure he got into his cell, it was rather a slow event, Baekhyun having to grip bad cells to keep shaking legs up.

Then, after deeming him safe, walked into the visitor room, pulling the stretcher with him.

He never was good at dealing with walkers. And it hurt more because these people weren’t fully… walkers yet. He was a doctor, he was supposed to save people- not hurt them.

Yixing placed a sheet over the man’s head, he always did, if Baekhyun wasn’t strong enough to do it for him, then he couldn’t look. Taking out his knife he placed the edge over the sheet, right at the man's forehead and stabbed with all his strength.

“Honey.”

The medic sighed in relief, removing the knife and looking at the glass, “Third one in the past few hours. We’re burning them behind the blocks.”

“Burning them…” Yifan whispered, pulling up a chair in the other side of the glass, “That’s what it’s come to. You okay?”

“Depends on how you mean it.” Yixing said softly, taking a seat against the glass and sighing, “The tea… it's barely helping, I just… I wanted to see if there was a chance.”

“How’s Baek?” The leader murmured, fingers touching the coldness of the glass.

“He… fuck- he’s getting worse, Fan…” The medic whispered, face contorting into panic, “I can't… Jongin and Kyungsoo keep coming by but- i- what if… what if it’s too late now? He keeps… Hyung, I don’t…”

“You don’t know if he’ll make it?” Yifan frowned, “No. If he doesn’t make it then this whole thing has been useless, Xing. And if there’s anything I’ve learned about you it’s that you don’t give up- so you’re going to keep trying and giving these people hope.

You and I both know… the most important one in there is Baekhyun, so… so, honey, if you don’t have hope then what’s the point- why are we still trying?”

“Hyung..” Yixing sniffed, pressing his forehead to the glass, “Hyung. He had me… he needed help writing letters, he wrote… he wrote goodbye letters, Fan and… I- I can't- he wrote one for us… I can’t- we should’ve- should’ve never gotten attached, I can’t do this, Yifan. He’s family, we don’t- we don’t just watch family die.”

“Hey.” Yifan called deeply, “Hey. If there’s one thing we know about that kid it’s that he's resilient and he’s not going to just… just give up. That’s not how Baekhyun works, Xing. You just need to keep it up, you’re doing so well, honey. There’s no way I would have let you in there if I didn’t think you could help.”

“Let me?” Yixing laughed watery, wiping his face, “You and I both know you don’t tell me what to do, Fan.”

Yifan laughed, and it was soft, and genuine. “I know, Xing. Isn’t that why you always dumped me?”

The medic grinned, wide and happy for the first time that night.

~~~~~~~

Yixing was making rounds, peering into open cells. He peeked into one and sighed, the womans face was bloody, her eyes only red, blood bursting them. He went to get the stretcher.

On the upper level, Baekhyun was hacking, his lungs burning as he leaned on the wall. “Yixing!” He gagged, throat tightening, “H-hyung!”

The medic was on edge immediately, leaving the stretcher by the woman’s cell, “Everyone stay in your cells.”

“Hyung!”

Baekhyun gurgled, leaning over and collapsing into his forearms with loud gasps.

He couldn’t breathe. No air was being taken in as he laid on his side.

He gagged, the taste familiar, a steady stream of red pouring out from the corner of his mouth, legs kicking like he was trying to get away.

Was this what drowning was like?

A woman screamed and Yixing stiffened, “Stay in your cell!” He ordered again, but it wasn’t listened to as a walker climbed out from the woman’s cell, snarling from behind the stretcher, the familiar red pouring down her face.

“No.” A man grabbed Yixings arm, trying to help as he aimed a gun at the walker.

It didn’t take, missing and then a second walker attacking the man, Yixing ducked as a stray bullet was fired, immediately turning to pull the pistol out from the man who was already dead meat- still as the walker tore at his throat.

~~~~~~~~

Meanwhile, the fence was collapsing.

Jongin, Kyungsoo, and Yifan were all holding it up, but it was a useless effort.

They heard a gunshot from somewhere near the cell blocks and couldn’t be too concerned right now.

Not when about a hundred walkers were snarling and growling in their faces, pressing up against the fence.

“Taeyong, go!” Yifan yelled, more of a groan at the strength he was slowly losing.

“You guys can’t do this alone!” Taeyong argued, quickly running out of ammo as he tried to lessen the crowd.

“We know, that's why we’re telling you to step back!” Jongin ordered. “You need to be a man now, okay!”

“You guys need to go check the- fuck- the block.” Yifan argued, “I won’t- won't let anything happen to him.”

“I swear.” Yifan added firmly.

“Taeyong!” Kyungsoo yelled, “Taeyong, you’re going to listen to anything Yifan says!”

~~~~~~~~

“Just follow me, Henry.” Lizzie cooed on the second level, ignorant to the fight just below her feet as she stood in the hallways, “Down here, away from Baekhyun.”

The walker snarled, feet stomping just beside Baekhyun.

Baekhyun whose eyes were wide as he began to turn colors, kicking at the air.

“Come on. Come on, Henry. Here we go.”

The little girl smiled, leading the dead like a game, moving around the edge of the hallway, “This way.”

“Come on, boy. Come on, Henry. Just a little more. Keep coming. Come on, boy. Let's go.”

Yixings heart was racing as he noticed the little girl, frowning momentarily as he shot the last walker on the second level.

“Come on. Down here, Henry. Keep following me. Come here. A little further. Henry, come on-“ Lizzie was cut off as the walker lunged at her. She screamed on the top of her lungs.

Yixing ran up the steps, shooting the walker in the head before running towards the little girl, “You okay?”

Lizzie cried, lips trembling, “I called him nice. He didn't scratch Baekhyun... I thought maybe he listens.”

The medic opened his mouth, ready to scold her, but his attention was immediately drawn, “Lizzie, where is Baekhyun?”

“His cell.”

“Get back in there.” Yixing growled, pushing her towards a cell, “Stay.”

And then, he spun on his heel, running to Baekhyun's cell.

If the man hadn’t been squirming, Yixing would have thought him dead already. His mouth pouring blood, hands clawing at his own neck trying to get air.

He heard the door downstairs slamming open and had no care as he turned Baekhyun on his side, “Fuck- hold on, Baek- come on, sweetie.”

~~~~~~~

“Wait!”

“Run!” Taeyong screamed, “Hyung, come on! Come on!” The walkers snarled through the fence, the metal making snapping noises, “Hyung, what do we do?”

Yifans sweat poured into his vision as he backed off the fence, running away from the slowly caving fence and grabbing Taeyongs arm.

“Pockets.” He demanded breathily, digging through the cart of guns and grabbing ammo. “Here. Got it?”

“All right, listen to me.” Yifan ordered, grabbing Taeyong’s chin and then shoving a machine gun in his fingers.

“All right.” Taeyong stared wide eyed.

“Magazine goes in here. Release is here. Make sure it latches. Pull back the operating rod and rounds feed up.” The gun clicked, “Keep squeezing the trigger for rapid fire, okay?”

“All right.”

Yifan stared at him for a moment before grabbing the back of his head and pressing his forehead to the teenagers, “You shoot or you run. Don't let them get close, okay?”

Taeyong nodded, and the fence fell. The snarling of walkers getting closer before him and Yifan opened fire, shooting in waves.

~~~~~~~

“Hold on, Baek. We have something.” Yixing panicked, hands shaking as Baekhyun wheezed through his blood. “Son of a bitch.” He cursed, dogging in his bag, dumping it's contents out onto the dirty floor.

“Hyung!”

“Yixing!”

“Help me!” The medic screeched down to the two men, “Help me god dammit!”

Yixing heard them running up behind him, but his hands were shaking it felt like he was taking forever as he tried to open a new air tube to connect to the bag valve mask.

“Fuck- baby- babe!”

Baekhyun only seemed to get more frantic at the sight of them, clawing at his mouth, writhing as he scratched at himself.

“He’s turning blue!” Jongin screamed, dropping to kneel beside his husband, eyeing the amount of blood leaked out onto the ground, still falling out of his mouth and nose. “Hyung, please!”

“Baek- Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo cried, grabbing his soulmates hands to stop the small scratches he was making in his own skin, “B-baby, my baby, my baby. I’m sorry.” He sobbed.

Yixing was sobbing too, finally shoving the clean tube and connecting it to the bag, “Roll him on his back.” He ordered.

Baekhyun didn’t like it at all, immediately gurgling, noises of absolute horror that made his soulmates stiffen, it sounded like they were drowning him.

“Keep his mouth open- no, more, more.”

Jongin curled his fingers around Baekhyun bottom teeth as Yixing tilted his head back, “Hold his arms down. Come on, sweetheart.” The medic cried.

Baekhyun wheezed through his blood, the sound barely audible through his small grunts.

“Come on. You know how this works. Just relax.”

“Stay with us.” Kyungsoo demanded, watching Yixing try to shove the tube down his husband's throat, “Stay with us, baby. Please, please. Stay with us.”

Yixing managed to get the tube in place and the gaging stopped, Baekhyun's whole body going limp as Yixing pumped the bag, giving him air.

“Oh, god.” Jongin shook, pulling Baekhyun's limo hand to his mouth, “Oh, doll. My doll, oh, god. Fuck.”

Even though Baekhyun was conscious, they weren’t even sure he knew what was going on other than that he could breathe.

“Gonna need to… to keep him on this until he can breathe on his own.” Yixing sniffed, “Look.. you… you squeeze- give it a good squeeze every five or six seconds.” He explained, slowly handing it to Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo was too shocked to reply, only following the instructions.

“You're gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay.” Jongin promised softly, leaning over to kiss Baekhyun's bloody cheek, uncaring about the sickness when they had to be on their way back with medicine by now. “You’re okay, sweetheart. Yeah, just look at Hyungs, baby, just look at us.”

“I’m- i'm sorry… I need to- I’ll get some air.” Yixing croaked, standing to his feet, “Just- I’ll be right outside, I can’t-“

“Go.” Kyungsoo whispered, his glossy eyes flickering up to him, “You’ve done everything for us, Hyung. Thank you- we really… really can’t thank you enough, take a break. We… we got him.”

“He’s safest with you guys.” The medic replied, spinning on his heels and running down the stairwell.

“That’s right. You’re going- going to be fine.” Jongin cooed, fingers extremely soft as Baekhyun met his eyes. A hooded, tired, lost expression.

Kyungsoo sniffed, pumping the air system and watching Baekhyun's ribs rise, running his other hand over the small scratches all over his soft skin. “We’re right here, baby. Nothing bad can happen to you when we’re here.”

“Go to sleep.” Jongin added softly, his finger brushing the corner of Baekhyun's eye, “Hi. Yes, I know you’re beautiful, our pretty boy. W-when you wake up… Chanyeol will be here… yeah, get some rest, sweetheart. Go to sleep.”

~~~~~

When Baekhyun woke up, he was kind of pissed because the light was too bright.

The light was so bright, but a figure blocked it.

“Good morning, beautiful.”

If Baekhyun didn’t have a tube currently down his throat he would have teased Yifan for the compliment. But it seemed he didn’t have to.

“Say it again, Hyung, I might just fight you.” Chanyeol drawled, hand holding the pump in his large fist making Baekhyun's eyes flicker to him, eyes immediately watering for no reason.

“Hi, little moon.” The elder smiled, leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead.

Baekhyun had no idea where he was, how long he had been out, but he felt a tube resting in his palm- an IV line he realized, curling his fingers around it.

“You did really well, Baek.” Yifan said fondly, standing to his feet, patting Baekhyun's leg, “And Taeyong really made us all proud, but… I’ll let him tell you all about it.”

Baekhyun drew his brows together, pretty much the only thing he could do right now.

“I gotta go clean up.” Yifan said to Chanyeol, patting his curls, “I’ll send the other two back in- They're probably fighting for entrance now.”

Chanyeol laughed and shook his head in a way Baekhyun recognized as fond, happy.

Baekhyun made a small grunting noise, more of a whine to get Chanyeol's attention.

“Shh. I know, it must be uncomfortable, babe. But we’re giving it one more night until we’re sure you can breathe on your own and the antibiotics are working.” The elder said comfortingly, “You want us to clean you up? You must feel so gross, but you’re still pretty, sweetheart.”

Baekhyun wanted to call him out and tell him how absolutely biased he was when he could feel blood dried on his face and chest, skin sticky with dried sweat.

“I’ll take over.” Baekhyun heard Jongin croak, voice slightly hoarse, “You guys clean him up, I’ll do his breathing.”

“You sure?” Chanyeol inquired softly, but Jongin was already pushing him out of the way.

Jongin brushed his hair out of his face and Baekhyun had to close his eyes for a second because the kiss placed on his forehead was so soft, so adoring.

“Gonna clean you up, sweet pea, don’t move, okay? You’ll get too tired.” Kyungsoo called, walking in with a few damp towels, “You just relax, my love.”

Baekhyun tried again, a quiet whimper, trying to explain what he wanted.

“Shh. Baby, you can’t be doing that.” Chanyeol ordered softly, walking over to lock the door.

Baekhyun heard the click and wondered if they were in one of the offices, their own cell was probably too far of a walk for them to take him and keep up with his breathing- too risky.

“We don’t know how to tell what you want.” Kyungsoo soothed softly, pulling off Baekhyun's sweatpants. “We’re sorry, love.”

Baekhyun scrunched his nose up, lifting his left arm that wasn’t connected to an IV and opened and closed it.

“What, gorgeous?” Chanyeol laughed, grabbing his raised hand and pressing his lips to his fingers, “We playing games now? What do you want, baby? You want kisses? Hugs?”

The younger only furrowed his brows again, running his finger over Chanyeol's mouth.

“You want to talk?” Jongin asked, a cute smile despite the deep bags under his eyes. “You can’t right now, dollface.”

Baekhyun shook his pointer finger in a no motion before pointing at Chanyeol, then Jongin, motioning down to where he could feel Kyungsoo wiping the sweat from his legs but couldn’t see him.

“Oh. You want us to talk?” Kyungsoo laughed and Baekhyun loved the sound.

He scrunched his eyes in what he hoped resembled a smile and blindly felt around the side of the bed for Chanyeol's hand.

“What do you want us to talk about, hm?” Chanyeol chuckled, accepting the smallers hand, intertwining Baekhyun's thin fingers with his. “We got everyone on antibiotics, got back here pretty late last night, but Yixing Hyung got you on them right away.”

“Chanyeol broke a window.” Kyungsoo outted, Baekhyun could see him, moving to clean the scratches across his neck with an alcohol wipe, it stung slightly so they must have been worse than he thought. “As soon as he heard, he turned and broke a car window, beauty.”

“Hey. We don’t need to tell him that.” The eldest grumbled, Baekhyun could laugh, so he only squeezed Chanyeol's hand in support.

“You were the first one, doll.” Jongin cooed, running his thumb over a rather long scratch resting on the surface of Baekhyun's neck, “First one time get it. Of course you were, we love you too much and… and seeing you… baby, you’re not going out of our sight for a while. Not for a long while.”

Baekhyun didn’t think that was unappealing, not at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys didn’t think I would kill our baby Baek... did you?


	43. Butterfly

Yixing had pulled the tube out this morning, loading him up with pain relieving medication because his lungs were sore, and his throat was sore.

It was normal, but Baekhyun was still on bed rest, confined to a makeshift bed of random blankets and pillows in the corner of an office.

But, he felt better, now he was just waiting for people to come to see him- surprise them with his new strength to talk.

“Hyung, new teeth!” Jisung giggled as Taeyong held his hand, leading the baby into the room.

“Ji, Hyung might be sleep-“

“Hi, baby.” His voice was slightly raspy, dry and a bit unintentionally sharp, not the usual softness it carried. “Hi, bug. Good morning. Did you eat breakfast?”

Jisung beamed, pulling his hand out of Taeyongs grip and face planting into the edge of Baekhyun's pile of bedding. “Hyung, new teeth! New one!”

Baekhyun laughed, patting his lap because he was still pretty weak and couldn’t help the baby up with the IV in his arm, but he still wanted to hold him. “Let me see- Ah… open big!”

The baby beamed, opening his mouth wide and blocking what he was trying to show off with his own fingers by accident- it didn’t really matter- it was only a baby tooth.

“Oh, look at you, Jisungie, you’re going to be all grown up soon and not want to play with Hyung anymore.” Baekhyun pouted, nuzzling his nose into the baby’s cheek.

“No!” Jisung gasped, snuggling himself up in the blanket bed as if it was his, “Love Hyung! Always play Hyung!”

“I love you too, Ji.” Baekhyun assured, patting the baby’s stomach as he flopped on his back in the blankets, rubbing the softness to his cheek.

“Hyung.” Taeyong smiled, climbing into the chair beside the makeshift bed. “I’m really- really glad you’re okay… I uh- we had an adventure when you were… were sick.”

“Yeah? You sound guilty, what’s up, bug?”

The teenager shrugged slightly and picked at his pants nervously. “Fence fell when you were out… I-uh… Hyungs needed my help, Yifan Hyung let me use a machine gun… I know… you said not to touch them, but, but they really needed help.”

“Okay.” Baekhyun shrugged slightly, laying down on his side and rubbing Jisung’s side. “Okay, bug.”

“You’re not… you’re not mad?”

Baekhyun frowned, “Why would I be mad, Tae? Hyungs needed help, and you helped. I’m not going to make all your choices for you, you’re fourteen now, if you think that was the best decision at the time then I believe you. I’m not going to… control you, sometimes, yes. But… you can make your own choices too, bug.”

Taeyong found himself confused, reaching out to a tray on the floor and spinning an empty bowl, “I know… I know I said I want to be a man, and that I don’t want to be babied… but… but Hyung, I want you to still- still… hug me, and- I want you to still nag me, tell me what to do.

I kept… When you were sick, I kept thinking about things that, that I've argued with you about before and.. I don’t like when other people treat me like that, but… you and Hyungs, when you guys do it… I don’t mind.”

“You don’t need to be a child to want affection or attention, Taeyong.” Baekhyun whispered, “I like love and affection too, Kyungsoo, Jongin, Chanyeol… all of us do, and we’re not children. There’s nothing wrong with wanting any of that.”

“Then… then I want it.” Taeyong sniffed and Baekhyun recognized the noise as his tears working their way into his eyes. “I want it, Hyung… Hyung, I want you to always stay with me, always- I want- want you to never leave my side.”

Baekhyun swallowed hard and reached out for Taeyongs wrist, “I’ll always try to stay with you, I can only try, Taeyong. But that’s enough, if you try hard enough then… then it’s enough. Come here, bug, let's take a nap.”

Baekhyun wished he could promise. To swear to always keep his little brother at his side, but that was too wishful. And Baekhyun knew all too well how painful wishful thinking could be.

So, he could only let Taeyong cuddle Jisung to his chin and carefully tuck the both of them into Baekhyun's chest. And hope.

~~~~~~~~

Finally, Baekhyun was being let outside, it was night time, mainly because Yixing was concerned that coming out in the daytime would give him a bad sunburn with all of the antibiotics they had pumped into him the past two days.

He wasn’t very stable on his feet, but that wasn't a concern at all, all he needed to do was wrap himself around one of his husbands and relax.

“We started a bonfire, sweetheart, aren’t you excited? It’s been so long and Junmyeon Hyung suggested a celebration, everyone is really glad you’re okay, Baek.” Chanyeol said fondly, pressing his palm to Baekhyun's cheek over Kyungsoo's shoulder.

Baekhyun smiled, arms tight around Kyungsoo- well, as tight as he could get them. “Tae must be really excited.”

“Watch, little shit will pass out within.. first half hour- I bet you.” Jongin joked, lightly running his hand over Baekhyun's shoulder before continuing walking.

“Wish you would’ve just wanted to stay and rest.” Kyungsoo fussed, hands holding Baekhyun's thighs around his waist, “But no, you want to come see others when we want to just wrap you in a ball and cuddle you until you can’t stand it.”

The youngest giggled, pressing his smile to Kyungsoo's cheek, “I’ll still love you. See? Kisses. Mwah!” He teased, obnoxiously pressing his lips to his husband's face.

“That’s adorable, I want in!” Chanyeol growled, full on grabbing Baekhyun under the arms and snatching him away like his favorite toy, “I want in, babe, my turn! My turn!”

Baekhyun was too busy laughing, lungs still sore, but he didn’t mind when he was so happy. He huffed out delayed giggles and pressed his nose to Chanyeol's cheek, “I feel like I’m babying Jisung. You like my baby kisses?” He laughed.

“We like any of your kisses, little dove. You have to give your husbands a lot of love.” Jongin demanded playfully.

“I like kisses too!” Baekhyun claimed, pressing a kiss to Chanyeol's growing facial hair on his jaw, “Kisses, kisses for my husbands, hm?”

“How about kisses for me!” Sunmi cooed as they approached the fire, “Come on, Baekhyunnie, I’d die to get a kiss from our resident puppy, hm?”

Baekhyun giggled at the teasing, turning around in Chanyeol's arms, “Okay! Let’s do it-“

“Yah!” Jongin exclaimed, grabbing Baekhyun's chin, “You’re not kissing anyone but us, pretty. Better luck next time, Sunmi.”

“Oh trust me, Jongin, I’ll get that kiss one day!” She added with a determined look making everyone around the fire laugh.

“Yeah, yeah.” Chanyeol groaned, settling Baekhyun in his lap as they took seats, “Laugh it up- you kiss my husband we’ll have to fight.”

Baekhyun smirked, wiggling himself to get comfortable, pressing his lips near Chanyeol's ear, “Don’t worry, Yeollie. Only have three people I want to kiss!” He whispered, pressing a kiss to the man’s ear before looking at the fire and pretending to be innocent.

“Here, squirrel.” Luhan chirped before Chanyeol could react, passing a ziplock bag of something over, “Min Hyung made them for you, Jisung got cranky tonight so he and Jun couldn’t come out tonight, but Hyung made you these.”

The younger looked confused, pulling out one of the cookie looking snacks. It looked like some sort of oat cookie. Baekhyun nibbled on it before looking wide eyed, immediately offering the bag, “It’s good, it’s good! Here.”

“They're yours, Hyung, you have them.” Jungkook laughed, pushing the bag away.

“I want everyone to share them!” Baekhyun smiled, “I can’t finish all of this, Kook, come on.”

Reluctantly, they shared them.

They were delicious, some sort of unbaked cookie, peanut butter flavored, Baekhyun was determined to ask Minseok for the recipe now.

“Hyung.” Taeyong murmured on Chanyeol's other side, Baekhyun hummed, feeding Jongin a bite of his own cookie even though the elder had one in his hand. “Hyung, did it hurt real bad?”

“Ah, I swear you have no filter.” Sehun groaned, playfully pulling Taeyong into a headlock, “God, and I thought I was bad, Tae!”

The teenager whined, eventually going limp against Sehun's chest when he wouldn’t let go. “Come on, Hyung!”

“It…” Baekhyun glanced at his soulmates and none of them looked readable, “It was more… uncomfortable.” He shrugged slightly, “I mean- towards the end… hurt pretty bad, my lungs kind of hurt still, but.. mainly you just feel really weak… and like, like someone wrung you out.”

“I don’t know what it was, Baek. We just know that you’re really lucky, you know?” Yixing said softly across the fire. “Only you… and a few others survived, honey. Even with treatment some of them, they were too far. You, the two kids, and I think… a middle aged man made it. Granted, most of the others were elderly. But, still, we lost a lot of good people.”

“Lizzie?” Taeyongs mouth twisted slightly, “I don’t like that girl.”

“Why not?” Kyungsoo asked, a slight scolding in his voice, “She's a little weird, but… not… mean, at least I don’t think so.”

“No, I-I agree.” Yixing laughed quietly, “When… when it was just me and a few people had turned, she was… she was leading a walker around- like he was a pet or something-“

“She’s been naming them.” Taeyong said disgusted, “I tried to tell her, really, but… but she’s so weird… I think… I think she’s the reason the walkers are so bad, I saw some dead rats at the fences…”

“What?” Yifan gawked, “Tae, you didn’t say anything.”

“Well…” The teenager whispered, “I didn’t… I don’t want to accuse her if I’m not sure…”

“And that’s the right thing to do.” Baekhyun cut in swiftly, “That's the right thing, Tae. You don’t want to get people in trouble if you’re not a hundred percent positive. We’re just going to watch her closely now, thank you for telling us.”

Yifan realized he must have sounded more accusing than he meant and reached out to gently shove Taeyongs arm, “No hard feelings, Tae, was just curious.”

“Okay, well this has all been very disturbing.” Zitao commented, “Let me add to it, I found some fresh footprints outside the fence- the only group that had been outside the fence the past few days has been me, Taehyung, Chanyeol, and Sehun… and we weren’t on foot- so, someone is observing.”

“Great, fucking great.” Yifan sighed, “God, when did this turn into a council meeting.”

“Guess I’m council now!” Taeyong laughed, “Hyung, you gotta add me!”

The group only laughed, gently teasing the teenager.

“Let’s tell a story.” Luhan suggested, “You know, like our first night here… our little bug story that I’m sure Taeyong missed half of- look at you, Tae, it’s been half an hour and you’re still up.”

“You guys are so mean to me today.” The teenager pouted to himself.

“Oh? You want us to be even worse?” Kyungsoo smirked, “Okay, guys. You gotta hear what Taeyong did the other day, we were just walking along the garden and he full on sm-“

“Hyung!” Taeyong screeched.

~~~~~~~~

Baekhyun woke up with a laugh, a mouth placing soft kisses to his collarbones. He smiled with eyes closed, silently stretching his arms by his head. “Morning.”

His husband only made a soft noise and Baekhyun didn’t have to open his eyes to see which one it was, only dropping his hand into the man’s hair and blindly petting his head. “Nini, is there a reason you’re waking me up?”

“Because I love you, dollface.” Jongin smiled at Baekhyun's blind guess, rolling onto his side to look at Baekhyun's profile, “Because you’re the cutest shit I’ve ever seen.”

“No you.” Baekhyun laughed, playfully scooting his back towards the edge of their bed.

He heard a tsking and giggled as he was pushed onto his stomach, “Let’s not argue about this, we all know you’re the cutest, baby doll.” Kyungsoo growled, playfully leaning over to nuzzle the back of Baekhyun's neck.

“Hyung!” Baekhyun muffled against the bed, turning his head to pout towards Chanyeol by the dresser, “Yeol! Soo won't let me go!”

Kyungsoo sniggered against his neck, pressing a kiss to the thin skin before pulling away, patting his ass softly. “Ugh, you’re such a tattletail, you think I’m scared of Yeol? Please, babe, he’s much more afraid of me and you know it.”

“I’m not scared of either of you- hi, gorgeous.” Baekhyun giggled down at Jongin, slightly out of breath as he climbed onto the man’s hips as he spoke. “Hi!”

“Oh, please, Jongin. Kyungsoo's glare is scary and you know it!” Chanyeol defended.

Baekhyun giggled at their antics, playfully puffing out his cheeks as he leaned down to nuzzle his forehead to Jongin's.

“Hmmmm. Yes, cuteness, good morning to you too.” Jongin smiled, running his thumb across a slowly healing scratch on Baekhyun's Adam’s apple.

“Not cute!” The youngest whined, “I’m scary today!”

“Yeah?” Kyungsoo snorted at the cute whine, “How so?”

Baekhyun tittered, “I’ll bite you!” He laughed, playfully nipping at Jongin's jaw.

Jongin beamed, pressing his finger and laughing as Baekhyun lightly bit at it. “Oh, so scary, Baek. Like a puppy!”

“Like a tiger!” Baekhyun frowned, “It's scary, Hyung.”

“Very, very scary.” Chanyeol sniggered, “Because that pretty little face definitely gives me goosebumps, my love.”

Baekhyun beamed, “I know!”

The three sniggered at his excitement, watching him collapse on Jongin full weight, not that it was unexpected.

Jongin laughed softly, immediately turning to roll them over, “Time to get ready for the day, butterfly. Let’s get these little scratches cleaned up. Yeah?”

“Okay!”


	44. Bait

Baekhyun smiled over Jongin's shoulder, pressing his lips to his soulmates shoulder as he peered at the small portable DVD player.

“I want to watch a cartoon.” Chanyeol grumbled begins his back, large form shadowing Baekhyun's as his fingers curled into the smaller shirt. “Jonginnie, lets watch a cartoon instead.”

“How old are you, two?” Baekhyun giggled, rolling over to caress his husband's cheek. “You’re a child.”

“Last I checked I was twenty eight- I think, and… baby…” Chanyeol purred, fingers pushing up Baekhyun's shirt and running his fingertips over the soft flesh. “Baby. Baby, I’m definitely not a child, thought I showed you that last night, sweetheart, hm? You need Hyung to show you again?”

Baekhyun only beamed, leaning forward to press their mouths together in what he was trying to keep innocent, but Chanyeol was a man of sinful intentions when his fingers were on Baekhyun's skin.

His tongue immediately was skimming Baekhyun's, teeth gently toying with his bottom lip, sucking softly until Baekhyun mewled a familiar noise of appreciation.

“And you say I’m impulsive.” Jongin sniggered, sitting up to change the movie.

Chanyeol laughed into Baekhyun's mouth, immediately groaning at the smallers hand moving to his jaw and tongue caressing his bottom lip testingly.

“Just wait till Soo Hyung gets back, he’ll beat the shit out of you, can’t leave Baek alone for a minute.”

The eldest smiled, gently separating his mouth from Baekhyun's with a wet kiss to his Cupid’s bow, eyeing the slight breathlessness from the still recovering man. “Like either of you are any better, you literally made love to him a few nights ago in the shower- anyone could have heard.”

“Good for them.” Jongin said immediately, pretty smirk on his face, “They’d get a once in a lifetime chance to hear our baby’s moans.”

Baekhyun flushed, letting out a slight whine at them.

The cell door began squeaking open, and Baekhyun sat up on his elbows in excitement. “Hyung!”

Kyungsoo smiled, one hand holding a bowl of some sort of snack, “Hey… Taeyong was out there.. by himself.” He whispered slightly under his breath, “I told him he could come.. watch movies with us.”

“Oh.” Baekhyun whispered. “If-“

“Of course.” Jongin frowned, “Of course, Taeyong is always welcome- come on in, bug.”

~~~~~~~

“You know, our anniversary is coming up.”

Baekhyun hummed, turning in his seat to squint at Chanyeol, watching him load up a car. “It is?”

The elder shrugged slightly, smirking, “One of these days.”

The younger giggled, relaxing in his seat, feeling the sun on his skin, “What do you think we could’ve done… if- if the world hadn’t gone to shit.”

“I don’t think it’s shit anymore.” Kyungsoo commented, walking over to sit down beside Baekhyun, pulling him to his chest, “Not when I’m so happy, buttercup.”

Baekhyun only smiled, turning to press a fond kiss to his jaw.

“You ever been to California?” Chanyeol inquired, leaning against the truck, “My dad took me there- to an amusement park when I was little. When we were up there, all the way at the top looking down, I felt like I was flying.”

“That sounds really… really fun, husband.” The younger said smoothly, earning a wide grin from Chanyeol.

“I'm gonna get you some water.” The eldest mumbled, a red tint to his cheeks. “I can get it.” Baekhyun laughed.

“I know. But I'm doing it. I'll be right back.”

Baekhyun hummed, turning to curl his legs over Kyungsoo's lap, tangling his fingers in the man’s hair as he watched Taeyong stomp over, Jisung practically dangling in his arm.

“Thought we told you not to hold him like that.” His brother scolded gently, pulling the baby into his own lap.

“You guys seen Noona or Tao? Hyung said they left a few hours ago to clear a clog in the water filter.” Taeyong worried, “But- that was hours ago.”

Baekhyun found himself frowning, “Really? You’re kidding.”

“No… I really, really haven’t seen them all day.” The teenager fussed softly, wringing his hands together.

Baekhyun sent Kyungsoo a worried look over Jisungs hair and the man was gently shifting him off his lap, squeaking his thigh. “Come help me look around, Tae.” He requested gently, throwing an arm around the teenager.

But, it seems plans were changed.

The noise of wood cracking sounded and Baekhyun almost gave himself whiplash with how quick he turned to look at the forest.

His knees shook, still too weak to really be doing anything right now as he stood up, focusing all his energy on carrying Jisung and trying not to fall over as he walked towards the noise.

He didn’t know where everyone was, but he was devastated. “Hyung! Hyung!”

He couldn’t hold himself up, leaning against the bottom of the watch tower and covering Jisungs ear, pressing his other into his chest. “Yifan!”

Baekhyun swore his heart stopped beating as the vehicles rolled up, he could hear footsteps, a lot running to his screams, but his heart wasn’t going to calm down soon.

“Yifan! Come down here. We need to talk.”

How the hell did The Governor always manage to out do them? Why was it fair for him to come now, when they had lost such a good portion of people- of people who could have helped them defend.

But, it wasn’t much use defending against a tank.

“It's not up to me. There's a council now. They run this place.” Yifan called, a shadow blocking Baekhyun but he was shaking, unable to figure out who it was.

A familiar, goosebump inducing laugh, “Is Zitao on the council? What about Sunmi? She on the council, too? You're making the decisions today, Yifan. Come down here. Let's... Let's have that talk.”

Baekhyun blinked back tears, tilting his head slightly towards where he could hear whispers.

“We can do this. Alright?”

“We'll go through the admin building, through the woods like we planned.”

“We ain't got the numbers. When's the last time someone checked the stash on the bus?”

“Yesterday. We were running low on rations then. We're lower now. Things go south, everyone heads for that bus. Let everybody know.”

Baekhyun thought it was Minseok and Luhan, but he truthfully had no idea at this second.

“Let them go right now. I'll stay down here. Talk as long as you want. But you let them go. You got a tank. You don't need hostages.” Yifan agreed, walking towards the gate with arms raised.

Baekhyun gulped as he looked around the leader. Sunmi and Zitao had their hands tied behind their backs, The Governor pointing his gun at them uncaringly.

Zitaos eye was swollen and he had a rather obvious bump on his temple.

“I do. This is just to show you I'm serious. Not to blast a hole in our new home. You and your people, you have till sundown to get out of here or they die.”

Chanyeol clenched his fist. “Doesn't have to go down this way!”

“I got more people, more firepower. We need this prison!”

Baekhyun slowly walked towards his voice, anywhere he felt safer, but he managed to get stuck. Stuck holding the baby protectively, eyes staring at The Governor like a hawk- in fear.

“It's not about the past. It's about right now. There are children here. Some of them are sick. They won't survive.” Yifan explained calmly.

“I have a tank. And I'm letting you walk away from here. What else is there to talk about? I could shoot you all. You'd all shoot back. I know that. But we'll win and you'll be dead. All of you.”

Baekhyun blinked, looking around and spotting Taeyong, basically running up to his side despite wanting to pass out. “We got to do something.” Taeyong growled.

“Yifans got it. They're talking.” Yixing said firmly.

“We could kill the Governor right now. I'm a good shot. I could end this right now.” The teenager spat.

“No. You need to trust that Yifan knows what he’s doing. Go help load the bus, and stay in it.” Baekhyun ordered, “Tae, I’m asking you to go- so I know you’re safe. You go find Kyungsoo and Jongin and you listen.”

The teenager sighed, hand itching towards his gun before spinning on his heels and storming away.

“You got maybe about an hour of sunlight left. I suggest you start packing. The longer you wait, the harder it's gonna be for you to get out of here.” The Governor shrugged, dragging Sunmi and Zitao towards the fence more.

Like this was a game.

Like lives weren’t special.

Yifan was getting flustered, getting worked up. And it was obvious in his hands behind his back, his fingers brushing over the gun in his waistband. “We can all-- we can all live together. There's enough room for all of us. More than enough.”

“But I don't think my family would sleep well knowing that you were under the same roof.”

It was Baekhyun's turn to scoff, walking slowly towards the leader. “You're the rapist here, not us. You’re the killer here.”

He saw a few of the people on The Governors side stare at their leaders back, confused.

“Hey, cupcake.” The man laughed, grabbing the back of Zitaos neck, “Still as cute as I remember. Ca-“

“Don’t talk to him.” Yifan hissed, blocking Baekhyun and Jisung. “We'd live in different cell blocks. We'd never have to see each other till we're all ready. It could work. You know it could.”

It was a lie. Everyone knew it was a lie. But it was all they had, all they could do.

“You’re shaking.” Jiyong whispered to Baekhyun, “I’ll take the baby- here.” The man offered, reaching out for Jisung who immediately began fussing at the unfamiliar man.

Baekhyun was too shaken to notice as the baby was taken away -he grabbed onto the back of Yifan's shirt.

“Look, I'm not saying it's gonna be easy. Fact is, it's gonna be a hell of a lot harder than standing here shooting at each other. But I don't think we have a choice.

We're not leaving. You try and force us, we'll fight back. The gunshots will just bring more of them out. They'll take down the fences. Without the fences, this place is worthless. Now, we can all live in the prison or none of us can.”

The Governor sneered, “We'll fix the damn fences.”

Baekhyun felt Yifan stiffen and he knew this was over, “You. You in the ponytails. Is this what you want? Is this what any of you want?” Yifan tried, pointing.

“What we want is what you got. Period. Time for you to leave, asshole.” The man he asked called through the fence. Baekhyun didn’t think he fully understood what was happening.

“Look, I fought him before. And after, we took in his old friends. They've become leaders in what we have here. Now you put down your weapons, walk through those gates... you're one of us. We let go of all of it, and nobody dies. Everyone who's alive right now. Everyone who's made it this far.

We've all done the worst kinds of things just to stay alive. But we can still come back. We're not too far gone. We get to come back. I know... we all can change.”

It was silent.

Baekhyun had hope that for a split second it was going to work, that Yifan had a good speech. But… it didn’t.

“No!”

The Governor sent a bullet flying, straight into Sunmi’s head.

Sunmi who had been with them for so long. Sunmi who had cared for Taeyong, cared for him, cared for everyone.

She was a strong person. And Baekhyun wouldn’t ever forget that.

“Liar.” The Governor growled.

Baekhyun screamed as gunshots sounded, completely abandoning where he was standing to grab his gun, only aiming at one person. “You son of a bitch!”

The tank came crashing through the fence, and Baekhyun could hear cracking cement with explosions, but he wanted him dead.

He saw Zitao yelling something- it wasn’t registering in his head as he got closer- gun out, watching The Governor laugh- too caught up in his own fun to even notice Zitao had gotten away, the man taking off in the woods after trying to tell them something.

“Taeyong!”

Baekhyun stiffened. His momentary rage was forgotten at Chanyeol's hell for his brother's name.

“What are you going to do, Baekhyun!” The Governor yelled over the battlefield, over the gunshots and screams. “Come on then, shoot me!”

And it was back immediately. “You-you bastard! We have children here! W-we have the elderly, the sick!”

“They wouldn’t have survived anyways, cupcake.” The man shrugged, “Just a little push into their resting place.”

Baekhyun released a noise not different to an animal as he pulled the trigger.

His aim was usually on point, but not today. Today it only hit the man in the leg and The Governor had the nerve to look shocked- as if it was unexpected as he cursed and dropped to the grass beside Sunmi’s body.

Then, someone was grabbing his shirt and pulling him to the ground as a bullet flew where he once was. “Hey!” Yifan yelled in his ear, picking him up. “Hey! You need to be here, with us! Stay with us!”

“Taeyong!” Baekhyun panicked, “Tae!”

“Shhh.” The leader grunted as he jogged, “He’s safe- they're taking the bus.”

“Ch-Chanyeol? Kyungsoo? J-“

“Baekhyun, They're all safe. I need to get you safe now. You hear me? We’ll find them again, but… we- we gotta go.” Yifan explained as he ran, Baekhyun couldn't see where they were going, the woods it looked like.

“I want him dead!” Baekhyun wailed, hands curling into Yifan's shirt.

“He’s walker bait.” Yifan argued, “Baek, he doesn’t deserve an easy death- he was already walker food- you did well, sweetheart, he’s handicapped now, calm down.”

He heard shushing noises and felt a tinge of relief as he noticed Jiyong and Yixing, Jisung sobbing, hands over his ears in fear.

It reminded him of Taeyong again. It reminded him of his family again.

He had no idea how many made it out, how many would come back together again. But they would find a way. They always would find a way, they always followed the sun.

Never walking away from it. It was a rule.

“Let me! Let me hold him!” Baekhyun sobbed, hands shaking and he knew he couldn’t. Not like this.

Yifan breathed heavily as he set the smaller on the ground, wrapping an arm around his waist for support. “Don't look back, Baek. Just keep walking.”

But Baekhyun did. And the prison… it was gone.


	45. On The Road

Baekhyun didn’t know how long they had been walking. That was probably because he felt like absolute shit and had pretty much passed out after the first few miles as they stopped to make a sign.

“Baek, what should we do for this one?” Yixing asked softly, “We gotta leave as many as possible.”

Baekhyun coughed slightly into his arm, just because of soreness in his throat. “Knife… uh… put our initials on the sign, carve it.”

“Hyung tired?” Jisung asked a question in Baekhyun's lap as the man leaned against a tree. The baby reaching up to touch Baekhyun's face. “Hyung wake!”

“Yes, baby. Oh, thank you.” Baekhyun said softly at the baby’s kisses to his skin, “Yes, Hyung is tired, Ji. We’re going to find shelter for the night.”

“A house?” Jisung mumbled, curling his fingers under Baekhyun's chin. “We go home.”

“We… we aren’t going home right now. We’re going to… find a new home. It will be an adventure, okay?”

Jisung smiled and Baekhyun wished he could be that happy right now, “Otay, Hyung sing.”

“We’re not singing right now, Jisung.” Yifan scolded softly, a few feet away, knife scraping at the road sign. “You have to stay quiet, remember? Jisung listens very well, so I know you do.”

Baekhyun sighed as Jisung pouted, but nodded, little fingers curling into his shirt.

The good news, was apparently the attack had drawn a lot of walkers towards the prison, so now the forest was relatively clear, same with the roads.

“I can take him.” Jiyong offered, “Baek, you’re in no condition.”

Baekhyun didn’t know why, but hearing the nickname from the man annoyed him. It was probably just his nerves all short circuiting, but he honestly didn’t want anyone that wasn’t his immediate family right now. “Got him, thanks though.”

“Really-“

“Jisung doesn’t like many people, don’t take it to heart.” Baekhyun said softly, using the tree as leverage to stand up, “It’s fine, I’m good.”

“Okay.” Jiyong shrugged, obviously annoyed at the attitude.

Baekhyun couldn't find it in him to care, sure, he was friendly with the man, they had spoken a few times. But after Chanyeol had come back to him… he didn’t really see him that often.

Probably a combination of his business, and also his soulmate who was incredibly protective and did not trust Jiyong for whatever reason.

Baekhyun didn’t either- but that was more of his trust issues coming to light more than anything the man had done.

“Hyung, Hyung… gotta potty.” Jisung interrupted, tugging on Baekhyun's shirt.

“Oh, fuck… what are we going to do about pull ups?” Yixing cursed.

~~~~~~~

“No, stay seated.” Kyungsoo ordered, “Everyone stay seated.”

“Do you even know where we’re going!” A man yelled in the back of the bus, standing to his feet, “You guys have already endangered our lives, we want off!”

Kyungsoo heard Jongin scoff in disbelief beside him. “That was your old leader that just destroyed our home! That wasn’t our fault!” Jongin argued, fingers tight around his rifle.

“You know what?” Minseok laughed humorlessly, eyes red from crying as he stood up, “Lu, stop the bus, if they want to go on their own fine- less people for us to care about.”

“Hyung-“

“Just do it.” Chanyeol sighed, “Come on, man, we… we'd be better off without all these… strangers.” He added under his breath, leaning over the seat towards Luhan's back.

“No, there’s not of us than you guys, you should get off.” A woman ordered firmly.

“Hey! This was our-“

“No, lets go.” Junmyeon interrupted, grabbing Sehun's arm, “The others are on foot anyways, they gotta be, it’s fine. Let’s just… let them die for all we care.”

Taeyong frowned at the anger, having never seen his Hyungs so mad before.

“Anyone who wants to come, lets go.” Luhan sighed, putting the vehicle in park, grabbing a bag from the floor. “This was our vehicle, our supplies, we’ll be taking them- leaving some.”

“That’s not-“

Chanyeol raised his gun, large form towering as he pointed it at the man who started this. “We’re taking our supplies. Look, I’m not a killer for no good reason, but- but I’m a man who just lost my family- you might understand the things I’m willing to do right now, so I suggest you don’t open your mouth again.”

Taeyong gawked at him, standing up to grab his Hyungs wrist, fingers wrapping around a silver watch he had always been jealous of since Baekhyun found it. “Hyung. We don’t kill the living.”

“We do if we have to.” Chanyeol whispered, turning to look at Taeyong as he lowered the gun. He stared at the teen, eyes getting watery as he shoved his gun into his pocket and touched Taeyongs face, “Okay. Okay, lets go, Tae.”

Taeyong gulped back tears at the expression, nodding as he turned to grab a bag from under a seat, “Anyone else coming?”

He got silence, and he was relieved nobody was taking the offer, but then, Lizzie stood up in the back. Her hand holding a patch of flowers and face tear stained, blood on her clothes. “Mica is… isn’t here anymore.”

“Okay, honey.” Jimin said softly, reaching a hand out for her, “Let’s go then.”

If things weren’t already tense, they would have asked Jimin what the fuck he was thinking, but this was just a little girl, and there was still so many of them- they could handle her.

“Hyung.” Taehyung asked softly, fingers pulling Jungkook with him outside the bus, “Hyungs, where are we going?”

Jongin adjusted the gun around his shoulder before turning to hold Taeyongs wrist tightly, as if afraid, “Towards the sun, always towards the sun.”

~~~~~~~~

“Got lucky with baby things but… not much else.” Yixing sighed, a diaper bag over his arm as he walked up to Baekhyun who sat on the stained couch.

“Been one day and it’s already like this again, huh?” Jiyong tried to joke. Baekhyun didn’t think it was funny at all even though Yifan and Yixing laughed.

They had gotten in a cabin, Baekhyun hand promptly dug around for anything before finding only spray paint and running to spray an arrow towards the cabin.

Their group was smart. They were all resourceful, all brave. If they kept leaving hints, Baekhyun was sure they would be back together in no time.

So, he had immediately grabbed a backpack from one of the rooms in the cabin and threw in the paint, it was probably the most useful thing to him right now anyways.

They had limited ammo, and only knives would be helpful right now to prevent too much attention, barely any food, but at least Jisung would be okay for a while.

“Bottled waters in here. I know- Ji is way too old, but if it comes down to it… there’s formula.” Yifan explained quietly, walking into the living room and laying the bottles on the floor, “I’m gonna… I’ll just keep looking.”

“Shh, Shh, I know you’re tired, Hyung is just going to change you, Jisung. You can go back to sleep.” Baekhyun shushed softly, rubbing fingers over the baby’s forehead to stop his fussing. Jisung calmed down quickly once he realized who it was, pretty much immediately laying his curls back down and sucking his fingers into his mouth.

Yixing sent Baekhyun a soft smile, pressing his hand to the man’s head as he handed over the diaper bag, walking into the kitchen where Baekhyun could hear Yifan's frantic digging.

The leader didn’t have to feel so guilty, nobody blamed him for the attack- well, Baekhyun didn’t at least. Yifan was a good leader, and, sure, he messed up a few times, but this wasn’t one of those times.

This was just a time he wanted his family and innocent people safe. Things don’t always work out how these planned to though.

“You’re really good with him.” Jiyong commented, Baekhyun glanced at him for only a second, watching how the man sat on the coffee table, pulling his pant legs up as he leaned closer on his knees, “He yours?”

Baekhyun sniggered at the question, pulling a clean pull up into his lap as he went back to changing Jisung. “Definitely not, I’m… married, and my soulmates are men.”

“Married?” Jiyong wondered, laughing slightly at his joke, “Last you told me you had huge crushes or… some shit, sorry, I can’t really remember things I don’t want to hear.”

That made Baekhyun frown, furrowing his brow as he rolled up the old diaper, “Um- yeah? I’ve been like… since a few days before the sickness. We’re soulmates, you know. I thought it was pretty clear when I told you I was in love with the three.”

“But you never said you were with them.” Jiyong shot back, “You can love someone and not be with them, you can be soulmates and not be with them.”

Baekhyun stiffened, straightening up and turning to look at him confused, “Well… not me, not us-“

“Also, three… that’s… that’s a lot to handle for one person, I can’t even imagine how stressed you must be.”

“We… don’t have a stressful relationship.” The younger murmured, feeling an odd anxiety settle in his stomach. “We don’t argue very often.”

“Heard about that fight with the big one though-“

“I thought you didn’t know I had soulmates?” Baekhyun interrupted, pulling Jisungs little body into his lap to avoid this man’s eyes.

“Hey, Baek! I found some Ibuprofen, you want it!” Yixing called from the kitchen.

Baekhyun picked up the snoring baby and took the chance to leave immediately.

~~~~~~~

Taeyong was lifted onto the balcony of the second story of the building, carefully hoping over the railing.

“Tae, you be as quiet as possible.” Kyungsoo hissed, waiting for the smallest of the group to unlock the door for them.

The teenager nodded, holding his knife between his teeth as he curled fingers into the cracked window, all of his strength used up as he pried it open.

He could hear the groaning from somewhere in the house and sighed, things could never go easy for them.

Taeyong was cautious, opening the bedroom door and peering both ways before stepping out.

This house was pretty, it was big. In another life Taeyong wondered what it would be like to live in one of these homes, to be rich enough to own this much space.

It didn’t matter anymore, but he needed to get his mind off reality for a moment just so hard wouldn’t consume him, again.

“Fuck, asshole.” He cursed, corner of his eye catching a movement from the dining room as he walked down stairs.

“Shithead.” He growled, hitting the handle of his knife onto the wall a few times, drawing attention before hiding behind the wall.

The walkers snarls got louder immediately, the sound of animalistic breathing was Taeyongs indication of how close it was.

And right as he felt it was right on the other side, the teenager jumped out, a hand on the back of the creatures neck and a knife going straight into its frontal lobe.

Taeyong cringed at the blood on his hands and grabbed the dead walker under the arms, dragging it towards the front door.

He unlocked it with one hand, before cracking the door, pushing it open with his foot and dragging the walker to the doorstep, “Just one, got it.” He said bluntly, dropping it on the welcome mat and stepping over the body back inside.

Lizzie screamed, “You hurt him! You hurt-“

Sehun threw a hand over the little girl's mouth immediately, “That’s a walker, Lizzie. It was dead already.”

Chanyeol shared a glance with Kyungsoo before reaching down to pull the walker out of the way and to the side, wiping hands on his jeans.

“Get inside.” Minseok added sharply, hand grabbing the little girls arm softly to lead her inside. “You can’t yell or scream, you can’t be loud like that or we’ll die.”

He knelt down to the little girls level and gently grabbed her shoulders, “We’ll all die. Do you understand me?”

“We don’t die.” The little girl whispered, “We all come back, and… we all change.”

~~~~~~~

“What are you doing up?” Jongin asked gently, walking into the kitchen blindly.

The small flashlight turned off immediately and the elder almost laughed, but Taeyong was crying, so he’d never laugh and make him feel inferior.

“Come on, Taeyong, what’s up, man?” He inquired, taking a seat on the cold tile opposite the teenager, “Everyone else is sleeping, it’s the middle of the night. Is it… about what Lizzie said? That little girl is pretty odd, but… don’t let it get to you.”

Taeyong sniffed, arms wrapped around a large metal container concealed by his jacket. “She’s crazy.”

“She is.” Jongin laughed quietly, “What’d you find, bug?”

“112 ounces of pudding.” Taeyong mumbled, pulling the container out from his jacket, “I don’t want Lizzie to have it.”

The elder sniggered, “Okay, stingy, crying over a container of pudding?”

Taeyong laughed watery, shaking his head and shoving the tin to his side. “I'm just… scared, you know? Zitao… Yifan, Xing… Jisung, Baek… all gone… and, and it could have been stopped. I wonder- I should have taken my shot, just had it over with before he-he killed Noona.”

“He killed Noona, Hyung…” Taeyong sobbed, “Hy-Hyung, I don’t want y-you guys to die too, I don’t want anyone else to die.”

“Oh, fuck. Tae.” Jongin cursed, pulling the teenagers forehead to his chest, “You don’t need to be strong all the time, you can cry, men cry Taeyong. And.. and you can be scared, you can be terrified, but you don’t ever lose hope.”

“B-because it makes you weak.” Taeyong stuttered, fingers curling into Jongin's shirt, “Hyung says… says it makes you weak.”

“Yes.” The elder whispered into the teenagers hair, “Baek is right, wrong about some things, but you know he’s always right when he talks about surviving. You know why? Do you know why, Taeyong?”

“Because… cause Hyung wants everyone to live.”

“That’s correct, bug. That’s right, because Baekhyun wants everyone to survive, so that’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to survive even if we’re scared- even if we’re weak. And we are scared too, scared for you, scared for him. But we’re at least going to look for him. We’re going to look.”

Taeyong whimpered, moving fully in between the man’s legs to rest on his chest. “I’m scared, Hyung, I’m s-so scared.”

~~~~~~~

“Isn’t he almost three?”

Baekhyun sighed, rubbing his eyes of sleep as he clipped the toddler carrier around his waist, the fabric seat on his back. “He’s small.”

“Isn’t he supposed to be potty trained by now?”

God, Baekhyun was getting so fed up with this man. He had no idea how he had stood conversations with him.

Now that he thought about it, they never really had to do much together, they mainly just had small talk and shared some past stories. They weren’t stuck together like now.

“We don’t exactly have time to potty train him right now.” Yixing answered for him, adjusting the toddler into the carrier, “It’s better he’s in diapers while we’re on the road at least, we can’t risk stopping too much in open areas.”

Baekhyun was forever grateful Yixing was always calm- for the most part- and kept cutting in, because he was tired of talking to Jiyong.

It was funny too, because the man didn’t seem to want to talk to Yixing or the leader, got a bit flustered or just looked completely put off when they tried to talk to him.

“Got us some water, some snacks- everyone grabs a bag, I’ll… get yours Baek.” The leader said quietly.

“Hyung!” Jisung chirped against the back of Baekhyun's neck, making the man feel more relaxed at the sweet voice.

“Hi, baby, Hyung will take a turn carrying you in a little.” Yifan said gently, stepping up to Baekhyun's side to press a kiss to the baby’s hair. “You tell me when you get tired.” The leader added gently, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's forehead too.

The affection was very wanted right now. Truthfully, Baekhyun very much wanted to just sit down and bawl his eyes out. He felt very much alone.

But he wasn’t.

He was so extremely lucky Yixing and Yifan has pulled him along because if it were only him- he would have lost his mind already, already caved and gave into his self deprecating thoughts.

“Come on, cutie.” Yixing murmured softly, hand reaching for Baekhyun's, pulling him out the door, a diaper bag hanging around his shoulders, “You took some medicine before we left right? Do your lungs still feel stiff?”

And he was sure they both knew. Knew how much he needed them right now.

The family was always affectionate with him, always giving him love, because they knew his struggles, they knew he needed support, and Baekhyun owed them everything.

Because they were the people that helped piece him together, it was slow, and it was hard, but he felt whole again- even at times like these, as long as he had someone- and these were two of the closest ones to him- always cared for him like their own child, he would keep it together.

“I took some painkillers, mainly because my throat is still sore if I swallow too much, but my lungs don’t hurt anymore- are my scratches all gone?”

“Xi Hyung, duck!” Jisung wiggled slightly, reaching fingers out towards Yixings shoulder.

The medic smiled, “Okay, Hyung will get your duck. If you throw it we aren’t picking it up, okay? No throwing.”

“‘Kay.” The baby mumbled, accepting the duck happily.

Baekhyun laughed softly, ever since yesterday when Yifan found the duck Jisung had been obsessed with the old blue bath toy.

He then turned his attention towards where Jiyong and Yifan were walking silently in the front, a few feet ahead of them.

“Hyung… is he- he knows we don’t blame him, right?” Baekhyun asked quietly, fingers tight around the medics.

Yixing sighed, “I mean… he blames himself a little, it’s hard not to. It was… he took the responsibility, and it feels like everything falls apart no matter how hard he tries.

But… maybe he’ll calm down a little if you talk to him.”

“Why me?” Baekhyun asked softly, “You’re his soulmate, Hyung, if he didn’t… listen to you then…”

“Because we trust you.” Yixing smiled, “Because we value your opinion, because… you’re our family and we love you to death, Baek. You’re like… if we ever adopted a child, we wish they would’ve turned out just as… as strong as you, sweetheart.

You think Yifan would have risked going back into a line of fire just for anyone? No, honey. We were already safe, me and him, the baby.

But… just one look at you… standing there and he had to go back. For your husbands we would have, for Taeyong, but.. honestly, we don’t know about anyone else. It depends.. but for you guys.. it doesn’t depend, you guys stay by our side, always.”

Baekhyun nodded, eyes slightly glassy as he chewed his lip, “I’ll- I love you, Hyung. Just.. just so you know I think you two would have made wonderful parents.”

Yixing was always gentle, but always so firm and protective, it was admirable.

And Yifan was always tough, but willing to listen, willing to save everyone if he could.

Baekhyun released Yixing's hand gently, feeling Jisung breathing heavily into his shoulder, fingers skimming his bare skin on his neck as he played with his toy.

He walked faster to catch up with Yifan, grabbing the man’s wrist softly to get his attention. “Hyung.”

“What’s up, Baek?” The man smiled as Baekhyun wrapped his smaller arm around his. “You tired?”

Baekhyun only shrugged, smaller fingers curling into Yifan's calloused palm, “Thank you for finding me and Tae in the woods, Hyung.”

There wasn’t much else to say.


	46. Brothers Keeper

Three days and Taeyong was fucking tired.

It was probably because he was having a hard time sleeping, worried and scared.

Months ago he probably wouldn’t admit as much, he would bottle it up and end up blowing up and hurting someone’s feelings.

Like he did to his brother numerous times. Numerous regretful times.

And this little girl was fucking annoying.

He suspected they put the two together to try and make them closer, but it was only continuing to remind Taeyong why he never hung out with kids younger than him in the first place.

Not to mention she was absolutely strange. Laughing to herself, playing pretend, and trying to wander into the woods just for flowers.

“You’re not supposed to hold it like that.” Taeyong commented, tone blank, “Here, I can-“

“This is how Sunmi taught us.” Lizzie growled, pushing his hand away and continuing to hold her knife hazardly.

Taeyong stiffened at the mention of her, “Don’t lie.” He warned.

Lying was absolutely forbidden, a huge no within their family, and if this little girl wanted to have a place here she needed to not lie. Taeyong wasn’t a hundred percent sure if his Hyungs… wanted her to have a place though.

They babied her, treated her softly like they did Jisung. But Jisung was family, and Lizzie wasn’t.

“Don’t lie about my Noona! She was a good teacher, she wouldn’t have taught you that bullshit.”

“Did too!” Lizzie whined, “Sunmi t-“

Taeyong was too angry and he knew it. His hands reaching out to shove the twelve year old into the dirt, “Don’t lie! You don’t get to talk about her! She was my Noona- my famil-”

“Taeyong!” Kyungsoo yelled, running over to grab his shirt, pulling him back roughly, “What the fuck! You don’t hurt people- hey, I’m talking to you, pay attention.”

Taeyong growled, trying to reach over Kyungsoo's shoulder, kicking up dirt as he screamed. “You didn’t know her! That’s bullshit, you’re a liar!”

The group looked at the teenager in surprise, they’d seen him all levels of anger. So many different kinds of moods, but never aggressive like this, never painfully sad like this.

“Hey, you’re okay.” Chanyeol said gently, grabbing the little girl's arm and pulling her up, she was crying, but Taeyong felt like it was an act- all a facade. “It’s okay, sweetheart, you’re okay.”

“Taeyong.” Kyungsoo growled, pulling the teenager away, and towards the group as Chanyeol tried to shush the girls crying. “Man- what- what were you thinking? She’s a little girl.”

“I was trying to help her!” Taeyong cried, shoving his Hyung away to wrap arms around himself, “Then- she was lying, and I was so mad- I didn’t hurt her.”

“Tae, you don’t get aggressive just because someone lies to you.” Jongin added sternly, “You can be upset about it, but you don’t push and you don’t hurt people- you pushed her down, you hurt her feelings.”

Taeyongs nose flared as he looked at them in disbelief. “She said Noona didn’t teach her right- Noona did! She did!”

The group dropped their scolding immediately, because this wasn’t an act of anger.

It was one of defense, and they couldn’t really be mad over that.

“Taeyong, you can miss her.” Sehun said softly when he realized nobody was going to talk. “You can miss her, hell, we all miss her, but we have to deal with it. Sunmi Noona was an amazing person- we loved her, Tae. And you do too, you did too, that’s why it hurts so bad.”

Taeyong felt his own lip trembling as he stepped away, continuing walking on the dirt road they’d been on for miles. “I don’t want to love people anymore then.”

“Well.” Minseok said quietly, jogging slightly to catch up to the teenager, “Well… sometimes it’s worth it, right? When you love people… there’s going to be a little pain.”

“H-Hyung.” Taeyong croaked, red eyes as he watched his feet as he walked, “Hyung… I don’t want to lose anyone else.”

“We want to promise so bad, but we can't promise you… that you won’t feel pain like this again, Taeyong.”

~~~~~~

Baekhyun laid Jisung down carefully in the middle of the bed, “You guys okay with watching him tonight?”

“Of course, Baek.” Yixing soothed, taking off his shoes and moving to lay on one side of the baby, “Are you okay sleeping alone? We don’t mind at all, sweetie.”

Baekhyun waved him off, moving towards the slightly blood stained bedroom door, “It’s fine, you guys should have some time together… if you need anything I’ll probably be on the couch.”

The medic only sent him a small smile and Baekhyun copied it as he walked out.

“Baek, the water is on, looks clean.. you should refill your water and things tomorrow, okay?” Yifan said softly, laying his coat on the back of the couch, “Don’t worry about scavenging, rest up a little and we'll try to get at least ten miles tomorrow. All those signs we left.. they can’t miss them, beautiful, just stay calm.”

Baekhyun smiled, squeezing Yifan's arm in appreciation as the leader pressed his palm to his cheek for a second. “Okay, you too.”

Yifan smiled, running his hand over the smallers cheek before nodding, disappearing into the bedroom Baekhyun had come from.

Yifan told him not to worry about it right now, but it was hard not to, so he immediately started towards the living room, opening cabinets and ignoring the intense eyes in his back.

He found a stash of baby wipes, and some diapers that were way too small for Jisung, at least the wipes could be helpful.

“Antibiotic cream on the bookcase.” Jiyong called, pointing to a small orange bottle from the couch.

“Why didn’t you grab it?” Baekhyun inquired, pulling his zip up off and tossing it to the side.

“I thought I’d let you find it- you look really excited when you find things.” The man shrugged.

Baekhyun frowned, unsure how to interpret the words.

He felt like Jiyong was flirting with him the past few days, but never so blatantly like this, then again… the two hadn’t been separated from the others the whole time either. And now Baekhyun was regretting not taking Yixings offer.

He just felt like something was off, but he was also extremely stressed out right now, everything kind of set him on his toes.

“You know…” Jiyong started again a few minutes later.

Baekhyun raised a brow at him, moving to sit on the other side of the couch, “Whats up?”

“I thought you said you were in love with those other three?” The man shrugged, eyes staring intently, “I mean… not my business, but we’re friends.”

“I’m very much in love with them.” Baekhyun said defensively, “What… what makes you think otherwise?”

Jiyong laughed quietly, “I don’t know, I mean.. Yifan and Yixing are all over you. And you seem to enjoy it. They call you all sorts of names like sweetheart, and beautiful- which is a compliment I completely agree with, but… aren’t you a married man? You said so a few days ago.”

“They’re my family.” The younger growled, “We’re family, and we take care of each other. What? I’m not.. allowed to be affectionate with my family? Look, I have a ring- I’m happily married.”

Jiyong lifted his brows as Baekhyun held out his hand, grabbing the hand he looked at the small silver ring, the thin trail of diamonds around it. “A ring doesn’t mean anything- I used to be married too.”

Baekhyun scoffed, snatching his hand back, “Well to me it does- it means love and loyalty, it means… protection and safety.”

“Ha.” The older man smirked and looked him over, “I guess the end of the world can really change how relationships work, huh? Need to rely on people more- but not at the same time. You don’t trust me, Baekhyun?”

“Don’t take it personally.” Baekhyun shrugged uncaringly, “I don’t trust many people, you can never know what people’s motives are.”

“Well, you can just ask. Do you want to know what my motives are?”

Truly, Baekhyun didn’t care all that much, but he nodded anyways, “Sure.”

Jiyong turned his body toward Baekhyun, looking at him seriously. “I think you’re beautiful. I-I was on that bus, you know, but I realized you were there and I thought it was cowardly none of your.. husbands were running after you, so I came back out and Yixing grabbed me before I could go help you.”

“They saved my little brother.” Baekhyun snarled, “They probably saved.. probably so many people, how dare you call them cowards? You’ve never even spoken to two of them, and the one conversation you had with Chanyeol was him telling you to back off- so leave it alone.” He said sternly, keeping his voice down for Yifan and Yixing right down the hall.

“It’s hard… because I feel like they don’t treat you that well, you wouldn’t be getting so defensive right now if they did. Are you hurting, Baekhyun? I heard about your fight with one of them, and it sounded like he hurt you.”

“Are you fucking delusional!” Baekhyun scoffed, climbing to his feet, “You don’t know me! God, are you… you’re fucking crazy. Chanyeol never laid a hand on me- sh-shut the fuck up, you have no idea!”

Jiyong stood to his feet, hands raised as he walked towards Baekhyun. “Hey… I’m not trying to scare you, you’re shaking, Baekhyun. This is only making me think that you need help- I can help you. They might be dead- they might not have survived but… but I can help you.”

Baekhyun's brows furrowed, and he had so many things racing through his mind.

But the overpowering thought was that he felt trapped again. He felt like he was getting shoved into a corner again, and he kind of was- literally.

Every step Baekhyun took back Jiyong took two even larger towards him looking genuinely concerned for him- like he didn’t realize Baekhyun was only getting freaked out because a strange man was enclosing on his personal space.

But then Jiyong touched his face, and it was so creepy, so genuinely creepy the way the man was looking at him. Baekhyun should have never talked to him- made Chanyeol jealous by using this man- never tried to be his friend.

He should have known. Lonely people during the end of the world, it ate them up inside and they just wanted to fill the gap.

“Don’t touch me-“

Baekhyun was cut off by the man pressing his mouth on him, and he lost his mind.

His hands reached into his pocket and he didn’t even know what happened.

One second he was trying to shove the man off him, turning his head away, and the next..

His fingers were covered in red and his knife was sticking out of the man’s chest.

“Fuck- what- what did -“ And then he screamed, loud.

But he didn’t feel guilty, not right this second, not as his adrenaline was still pumping and as the man’s body went limp and he pushed it off of him and on the ground roughly.

“Don’t touch me!” Baekhyun yelled, cried, “Don’t touch me. Don’t touch me.” He ran his palms over his face and felt the warmth drying on his skin and only felt confused about what he had just done.

Killed a person. And… he didn’t feel bad at all.

In fact, he felt completely fine. Maybe better than he ever did. Because he didn’t want to be kissed, he didn’t give his permission to be kissed, and that meant he didn’t have to be touched if he didn’t want to.

If he had learned anything from being raped, from being molested it was that he had no choice, and he had no way out. But this time… this time he did, and he took it.

And now he was laughing, blood was all over his face and hands, and he was crying, but he was laughing.

“Baekhyun….” Yifan whispered in shock, Baekhyun's eyes went wide as he looked towards the doorway and saw his two Hyungs staring shocked. “Baek… what?”

“He kissed me Hyung.” Baekhyun said, trying to rub off the red on his hands, “Hyung.. and I- I killed him- Hyung he only kissed me but…”

“You don’t need to feel bad.” Yixing immediately began, eyes looking glassy as he stepped over the body, hands outstretched for Baekhyun's, “You don’t, if you didn’t want to be touched and he touched you… it’s not your fault.”

“Hyung…” Baekhyun laughed quietly and shook his head, “I-I don't feel bad… I guess- I guess I don’t feel anything at all.. other than relief.”

“Oh, god.” Yifan whispered under his breath as the medic grabbed Baekhyun's wrist, “Oh my god.”

“Okay, sweetie… lets-uh… l-lets get you cleaned up.”

~~~~~~~~

“We’re going to give you a task, okay?” Chanyeol began, straightening out Taeyongs coat. “We need to set up a camp, and we need to go hunting. And you’re a man now, right?”

“Yes, Hyung.”

“Okay, so we need you to stay here and watch Lizzie okay? I don’t know… try to talk to her, I know she’s a little… weird, but sometimes you just need to talk to someone.”

Taeyong crinkled his nose in disagreement, but he wouldn’t argue with them, not when they were giving him an opportunity to prove himself. “Okay… you’ll just go… not that far, right?”

“Not even half a mile, bug. Don’t worry.” Chanyeol soothed with a small smile, “We’re just walking to the river, going to get some stuff for a fire and… and see if we can get lucky.. maybe some fish.”

“Okay.”

Chanyeol smiled proudly, pressing a kiss to Taeyongs temple. “Okay, if you get scared, or… if you see too many walkers, you scream and we’ll come running. Your gun is loaded, right? Let me see.”

Taeyong passed over his gun and Chanyeol popped the chamber open immediately, smiling in a way that made the teenager feel good about himself- that he could make his Hyung look proud of him. “Here, you keep your knife on you, Tae. We hear anything- we’ll be on the way.”

“Okay, Hyung.”

The elder pressed another kiss to his hair before standing up, sending him a reassuring nod as he went to catch up with the others.

Taeyong really didn’t want to talk to Lizzie, really didn’t even want to watch over her.

Truthfully, it was because she freaked him out.

“Lizzie… I-uh- I wanted to apologize.” The teenager whispered, reaching down to grab a handful of flowers, “I… I know you like these, so here… I- I didn’t mean to scare you.” He offered, walking up to her.

The little girl smiled, and Taeyong felt relieved as she accepted his flowers silently. “Flowers… flowers are nice.”

“Everyone likes flowers.” Taeyong whispered, shoving his hands in his pockets, “They’re nice to look at.”

“Flowers don't hurt anyone.” Lizzie added quietly.

“I… I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

She frowned, turning to stand in front of him and looking confused, “You didn’t hurt me, but… but sometimes you guys hurt my friends- like… like at the prison… that hurt me.”

“Who?” Taeyong asked, confused. “I didn’t hurt any of your friends…”

“Yes you did.” Lizzie said firmly, “My friends… like Nick.. like Sam.”

Taeyong took a good step back, “You mean… walkers? Lizzie… Lizzie, those aren’t your friends, they-“

“Mica told me back… back when we were giving them names that we were just pretending things weren't bad… Things are bad. Those things, they're bad. They are. She said we couldn’t pretend anymore.

But… I'm not pretending. She was. I know. Because I can hear them.”

“Lizzie… you’re… you're freaking me out.”

“They just want me to change. They can make me be like them. Maybe I should change… you guys, you don’t understand… you don’t need to hurt them.”

She seemed so convinced, so sure of her words Taeyong was genuinely terrified as he grabbed her shoulders. “Lizzie, They're… They're monsters, we want to live, my Hyungs want you to live too- or-or they wouldn’t have let you come.”

Lizzie stomped her foot and glared up at him. “I can show you! Let me show you, you’ll believe me!”

Taeyong jumped back as she reached her hand towards her knife and was immediately on edge, backing up. “Lizzie… you don’t know what you can do what that- put it down.”

“If I don’t go for the brain then you’ll wake back up.”

“Lizzie!” Taeyong yelled, hoping they’d be able to hear him, “Listen… listen, I know you killed those rats.. and, and fed them to the walkers- you-you’re the reason the fence broke, aren’t you?”

Taeyong already knew the answer, but he needed time, needed to stall.

“They were hungry… but..Mica didn’t like the rabbit… she said it was disgusting to play with dead rabbits, but… but my friends liked it.”

The teenagers stomach twisted and he didn’t need to remember how Yoongi had found a twisted up and gutted rabbit in the yard months ago.

“Lizzie- stop!” Taeyong stepped back as the girl lunged at him and tripped, falling onto his butt and scooting backwards, “Stop! I want to live! I don’t- Lizzie, I don’t want to be like them!”

“It’s okay!” The little girl yelled, “Help me convince them, Taeyong!”

Taeyong's back pressed against the tree and he kicked out at her. She was barely smaller than him, but he was so, so afraid.

Her knife cut through his jeans and he felt the edge cut into his calf and screamed. “You’re hurting me! Lizzie!”

She wasn’t listening, and he was going to die.

He felt like he had no other option, she was a danger to him, she was a danger to his Hyungs- his family.

So he pulled his gun out of the holster on his thigh and closed his eyes.

The noise was loud, it was echoed through the clearing and Taeyong screamed in anguish as he pulled his knees to his chest and dropped the gun.

He didn’t have to wait long at all, barely a few minutes of his eyes squeezed shut, rocking and burying his nails in his scalp before he felt someone picking him up.

“Are you okay? Taeyong, bug- what happened?” Kyungsoo fussed, pulling the teenager into his arms tightly, pressing his nose into his hair. “We’re right here, baby. Nobody will hurt you now.”

“Tae, oh my god, Tae.” Jongin collapsed to the ground and immediately began pushing up his bloody pant leg. “Someone get me a wrap, fuck, some-someone cut my sleeve off.”

“Fuck- we shouldn’t- shouldn't have left him alone.” Luhan cringed, stepping over the little girl's body and grabbing the warm gun.

“Baby. Tae. Hey, did she try to hurt you? Look at us, Taeyong, nobody is going to hurt you anymore.” Chanyeol dropped to his knees behind Kyungsoo to lean over his back, grabbing Taeyongs chin.

“S-She- Hyung… she tried to -kill me!” Taeyong panicked, fingers pulling at his collar, “H-Hyung! Hyung don’t let me go!”

Jongin gulped as he tied the cloth Junmyeon had cut off his jacket around Taeyong’s leg and shared an equally as pained, watery look with the group.

“He-y.” Kyungsoo's voice was rough as he grabbed Taeyongs cheek, wiping a bit of dirt off of his wet face. “We’re not letting you out of our sight, Hyungs are sorry- god, we’re so sorry, Taeyong.”

“We promised to take care of you… so-so that’s what we're going to do.” Jongin added, his hand searching for Taeyong’s, “You just hold my hand, sweetheart. And breathe, we’re going to get through this- together.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the comments! I read every single one even if I don’t respond sometimes, I wasn’t going to post today, but you guys motivated me too!


	47. Together

“Do you want your gun back?”

Taeyong flinched, head hitting the blanket that was spread on the forest floor and groaning, “Fuck- uh- no… no thank you.”

Sehun frowned, leaning down to press his forehead to the youngers. “Tae… we’d really feel better if you at least had it, we’re not asking you to fire it or anything. Just.. have it. We’re not willing to risk anything.”

“Hyung… I… I killed her- she- she was like twelve, and I-I killed her.” Taeyong whispered, sitting up.

“Good morning, bug.” Chanyeol called as he noticed the teenager awake, packing up his backpack.

“Hyung.” Sehun muttered, sitting back on his heels, “Hyung, come here.. really quick.”

Chanyeol frowned, running a hand through his matted curls as he strolled over, crouching down and cupping the back of Taeyong’s head, “Whats up?”

“I.. Taeyong doesn’t want his gun back… right now, but it’s unsafe. Wha-what should we do, Hyung?” Sehun said softly, handing over the teenagers gun Luhan had picked up.

“Tae… sweetheart, you know it’d make us all.. a lot more comfortable if you had something other than a knife.” The eldest cooed gently, brushing Taeyong’s bed head down, “It was an accident, Tae. It was self defense- nobody is mad at you, if anything… we’re all relieved that you protected yourself.”

“Hyung…” Taeyong whispered, staring at the raggedy fabric wrapped around his calf, “... I don’t want responsibility anymore.”

Chanyeol sighed softly, sitting back on the edge of Taeyongs blanket. “You don’t need to be responsible, you don’t need to act so grown up all the time, we always wanted you to just… just be a kid, Tae, just be a teenager. And… we know that you can’t… but-“

“Hyung… I want you to hold onto it- u-until I… until I feel better.”

“Okay.” The eldest murmured softly, running his thumb over Taeyongs brow, “If that’s what you want then you need to stay close to us at all times.”

“Th-that won’t be hard at all.” Taeyong stuttered.

~~~~~~~~

Baekhyun felt like his hands were stained red. They weren’t, Yixing and Yifan had been very thorough about cleaning him off, scrubbing his skin red.

But he still felt it. And it didn’t really feel like guilt.

It just felt like… another death. A useless one, one that didn’t need to happen, but… it had. And they weren’t pretending that it didn't.

Yifan and Yixing were just curious, and worried for him.

He must have looked pretty crazy, but neither of them asked a thing, neither of them commented or spoke except for small reassurances the whole time they cleaned him up.

“Let’s stop and tag this real fast.” Yifan said aloud, Jisung strapped to his back and holding onto the back of the leaders neck.

“Got it.” Baekhyun offered, pulling his backpack off and crouching on the ground. “What should we write this time?” He asked, shaking the can of red spray paint and walking a ways down the asphalt to keep it away from Jisung.

“Whatever you think they’d recognize.” Yixing shrugged, digging in the diaper back and pulling out a pack of trail mix. “Jisungie, you hungry?”

Baekhyun didn’t hear the baby’s response, pulling the collar of his blood stained shirt to his nose and beginning to paint.

“Baekhyun, we’ll rest here for a little when you’re done.”

He didn’t even look up, only giving a slight nod of his head before standing back and coughing slightly at the fumes as he dropped his shirt.

In big words, sprawled across the road read one word.

‘TOGETHER’

And there was no way that they wouldn’t recognize it or would overlook it, not like some of the tens of smaller words, names they had scratched into signs miles away.

Baekhyun nodded to himself with a small smile as he walked over to take a seat beside Yifan.

“Food is pretty low… how many days do you think we’ll… be separated?”

The leader frowned slightly, holding Jisungs hips up to let the baby stretch out. “I don’t know, Baek. Wish I did… could be another week… could be months, but don’t worry- we’ll find them.”

“I’m not worried about that.” Baekhyun shook his head and pulled the diaper bag towards himself, digging for some formula.

They hadn’t wanted things to come to this for Jisung, not that the baby really cared, or noticed. But they had to start giving him formula and smaller amounts of food- only because they needed the energy to be able to carry on and take care of the baby.

They couldn’t have one of the three falling sick, or getting malnourished. So Jisung was getting a few sippy cups of formula a day and whatever they could find to feed him.

It wasn’t great for the toddler, but it wouldn’t hurt, he was still getting more nutrients than all of them.

“Baek, are we going to talk about it?” Yixing asked carefully, watching Baekhyun pour a bottle of water into the cup, shaking it up.

“We can talk about it.” Baekhyun shrugged, “I’m not… I’m not too concerned, I honestly… I don’t feel anything at all.”

“That’s concerning in itself.” The leader replied, accepting the cup offered and offering it to Jisung, “I mean… Baek- I’m not… I have no room to say anything, but if something like that.. happened to you I would be expecting you to be scared… terrified. Everything you’ve went through and-“

“I’m not scared.” Baekhyun laughed, leaning back on his palms, “It wasn’t… it wasn’t like that, Hyung… I- I did something for myself.”

Yixing reached out to place the partially eaten trail mix bag on his lap and patted his thigh. “So… so why’d you kill him? If… if it’s not like how we were assuming.”

“Honestly…” The youngest of the three frowned, “I’m not.. I’m not sure but… I killed a basically innocent man- there’s no way… I don’t know if it’s right for me to assume he was going to touch me.. or rape me, but all I knew was I didn’t want his mouth touching me.. and I don’t know if it was shock or panic, but- I-I just stabbed him.”

“Shouldn’t I feel something? I mean… I feel… relieved, I feel… calmer, but shouldn’t I feel guilty? Shouldn’t I at least mourn over him?” Baekhyun added, genuinely confused as his eyes flickered back and forth.

“You only think you should feel that way because that’s what you’ve always been told.” Yixing disagreed, “There’s nothing wrong with.. not being guilty, at least you're feeling nothing and.. I don’t constantly try to understand you, Baek. Even I don't even know what goes on beneath these curls.” He teased, lightly bumping his shoulder on the smallers, “But.. I can’t help it sometimes, Baekhyun. And I think… I think you just… you did something you always wanted to do you know?”

“Kill an innocent man?” Baekhyun snickered humorlessly.

“I don’t know if you can say he was fully innocent, Baek. If you never said you wanted him to… do that then you never consented.” Yifan disagreed.

Baekhyun wanted to tell him he only thought that because he was biased, because they were family and protected each other.

But to Baekhyun it felt like a big deal too. He had never kissed anyone but his husbands voluntarily- ever. So he did feel.. disturbed with the thought.

He knew now that his husbands would never think him disgusting, but that didn’t mean Baekhyun didn’t think that. In fact, he had scrubbed his mouth to the point that they were now peeling because it freaked him out to even think about someone else getting close enough to do that.

“You saw it as an opportunity.” Yixing commented, “An opportunity you never had? Am I right… sweetie?”

Baekhyun licked over his lips and thought they tasted slightly like iron, probably from having scrubbed them so bad. “I guess I… I don’t know, I was always… held down, you know?”

They didn’t know, they had no idea at all, cringing at even the imagery, but they both nodded anyways.

“But this time… I wasn’t defenseless, and- he wasn’t… wasn't scaring me per say- but it was still… I didn’t want it, I said don’t touch me- why- why does nobody listen when I say that?” Baekhyun whispered the last part under his breath, pausing in thought and the two could only stare at him pitifully. “But-uh.. I.. I’m not… weak anymore, I’m not… just going to sit there an-and let it happen. I’m strong now, we’re all strong now, but.. but I’m not letting someone touch me like that again- a-and I’m not going to just lay there and- and… yeah… I guess… I guess I just- I had a chance to stop it- for once.”

“And for that we think you’re way stronger than us, Baekhyun.” Yifan said immediately, “Way stronger than you once were… I think, I think maybe you won’t even be haunted anymore. Not when you- all on your own- can… can overcome a real fear of yours. Nightmares aren’t anything now.”

“Maybe I can.. can dream for once.” Baekhyun mumbled under his breath.

Yixing pressed his forehead to Baekhyun's shoulder for only a second before sitting back, “Jisungie, don’t you think Baekhyunnie is super strong? You should come tell him, little man.”

Jisungs eyes widened at being called out, pulling his sippy cup out of his mouth with a popping sound. “Hyungie stwong! Tae- uh… Tae sayed hero!”

Baekhyun gulped at the mention of his brother and held it back to accept the tiny excited baby that was bouncing over into his arms. “Yeah? I think Jisungie will be super strong too, just like Tae, just like Fan, Lu, Hunnie, Xing. All of Hyungs! Jisungie will be the strongest!”

The baby giggled and Baekhyun didn’t even mind the formula dripping onto the back of his shirt as Jisung held it hazardly over his shoulder.

~~~~~~~~

“Do you think… maybe we should turn back around?” Taehyung asked quietly, Jungkook's hand right in his. “I mean… Hyung, it’s dark, there haven't been walkers for miles which means nothing to hunt.”

Chanyeol sighed, shaking his flashlight at the front of the group, Taeyongs hand tight in the other hand.

Usually, traveling at night was a huge no- an extremely bad idea.

But they would be worse just sitting ducks or here. The forest to either sides were too damp from the humidity to even build a fire, which meant no warmth and too much exposure, so the best option was to continue on until they found somewhere safer.

“Taehyung, we just gotta stick close… Yifan knows better- they’d keep going towards the sun, we’re just looking for shelter now. We know you’re freaked out because it’s dark- us too.”

As if adding to Yoongi’s statement there was a cracking in the woods.

Immediately the group went still, silent. Taeyong immediately getting pushed behind Chanyeol's back and Kyungsoo pressed his chest against Taeyong’s back protectively.

Jongin placed his flashlight between his teeth and pulled his gun out, the only sounds of them breathing as he flashed his light towards the woods to the right.

“Fuck- god-“

The cursing was getting closer and Jongin couldn’t place the voice, too raspy and exhausted.

“Come on, dumbass- nobody stays out this la-“

“You are a dumbass.” Minseok suddenly laughed and Jongin stiffened, eyes narrowing on the eldest as he walked towards the woods, unarmed.

“Hyung-“ Jongin reached out and Minseok only snorted.

“Zitao, how the hell did you find us!” The eldest yelled.

The group immediately relaxed, laughing in various states of disbelief.

“Holy shit.” Luhan beamed, letting go of Sehun's arm to run over to the edge of the woods.

Zitao looked horrible, way worse than they did. “Shit, I did it.” Was all he murmured, wide eyed as he stared at them.

“You did it!” Taeyong laughed, limping slightly up to him and wrapping his arms around the man’s waist, jumping awkwardly on his cut leg, “Hyung! Welcome back!”

Zitao laughed in shock, immediately cupping the teenagers head to his chest. “God- you guys won’t believe what shit I’ve went through.”

“We can tell.” Jimin laughed, pulling his backpack off, “Here, let's get you some food… you don’t- have any weapons?”

“Fuck, no.” Zitao laughed as Taeyong dragged him over, “I’ve been.. I saw The Governor get bit, and then I took off! I don’t have shit, so I’ve been… like hiding in trees- swear I have splinters that will never leave now! And like.. just avoiding everything as I followed Baekhyun's signs!”

“What?” Kyungsoo said immediately, “Signs? What signs? Do you know where they are?”

Zitao chuckled and shook his head, “You didn’t notice? Here, come with me… just over here.”

He rolled his eyes slightly at their obliviousness and grabbed the flashlight from Chanyeol's hand, making the group walk back a few yards before stopping and laughing. “God, you guys blind or something?”

He shined the light over the red paint and looked up at them amused, stepping back to light up the whole word.

“... Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo whispered as he stared at the handwriting before laughing, a full smile that filled his face as he turned to grab Taeyongs cheeks in both hands, “Baekhyun! Tae, it’s Baekhyun!”

The teenager immediately began crying as the group began to laugh in disbelief, way louder than they should be. “H-Hyung! My Hyung!”

“Oh my god!” Chanyeol screamed, grabbing the teen around the waist and throwing him over his shoulder, “Oh my god!”

“H-Hyung!” Taeyong laughed, hands curling into the back of Chanyeol's shirt.

“Hyung! We always stay together!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did Baekhyun have a right to kill him? What do you think? Was Jiyong going to assault him or... is Baekhyun disassociating again?
> 
> Edit: I just watched the new BTS MV and I think a maze runner AU is in order.


	48. Days Too Long

Baekhyun chewed his lip as he laid the diaper bag on the sidewalk, “I know, buddy, I know- Hyung is sorry.”

Jisung whined, fingers curling up on his bare stomach as Baekhyun laid him down on his coat. “Hyung- ow!”

“Fuck, do you think it was the cans? Fuck- I didn’t even notice it was cracked. Hyung is so sorry, Jisungie.” Yifan said painfully, kneeling down on the sidewalk to pet the baby’s hair.

“Someone get me a wipe, let me wipe his face… we- we’re going to need to stop somewhere, he’s dehydrated from throwing up.” Baekhyun worried, digging through his bag for a shirt he could put on Jisung like a little gown.

“Can’t believe we didn’t notice, he’s had diarrhea all morning. This has food poisoning written all over it.” Yixing sighed, pressing his palms to his face as he paced, “We’re going too- we’re gonna go clear out this house, Baek, and get you two situated and then go search for something that can help. Are you okay with him?”

“Yeah.” Baekhyun's face had been in a frown all morning since Jisung had begun crying and complaining of a stomach ache, “Of course, go ahead… I’m gonna… we’ll wait here.”

He didn’t hear their reply and glanced up only to see them immediately turning to rush into the closest house nearby.

“I know, Ji. Hyung is going to take care of you, baby.” Baekhyun cooed softly, standing him up between his legs, the shirt he placed on the baby faking down to the ground. “I’m going to boil you water as soon as Hyungs come back and our Jisung is going to get a warm bath, promise. It’s going to help so much.”

Jisung wiped his eyes, mouth twisted in a frown as his lips trembled. “Hyung… hurts.”

“Shhh.” Baekhyun shushed quietly, pulling Jisung to rest in the crook of his neck. “I know, baby. Taeyongie used to get belly aches all the time, Hyung knows what to do, okay? You just trust me.”

“Weally?”

“Oh, all the time, honey. And Taeyong cried way more than our Jisung, because our baby is so strong, huh buddy? Our own little superhero, right?”

Jisung nodded weakly as Baekhyun placed a hand on his bottom and the other behind his head and stood up, “I hero.”

“That’s right, Jisung. Hyung is going to make sure you get cleaned up and your belly gets better. Xing and Fan are going to find you lots of things, sweetheart.”

The baby let out another cry, moving his hands between his stomach and Baekhyun's chest, his forehead pressing to Baekhyun's shoulder. “Belly hurt.”

Baekhyun gulped back his tears purely because he hated seeing the toddler in pain, not because he thought he was in any danger, but Jisung was so sweet and it was entirely their fault for feeding him something that was contaminated.

Since last night the baby had been having horrible diarrhea, and the vomiting had only started a while ago, but Yixing was sure it was food poisoning.

Taeyong had food poisoning a few times in his childhood, so Baekhyun wasn’t unfamiliar with what to do, but he used to have supplies then- more options.

He used to be able to get Taeyong in a warm bath in minutes to soothe the pain and cramps, give him dried bread to calm his stomach but fill him up for a little, and lots and lots of water.

The best he could do now was hope they got a house that had a propane stove, he could light it by hand and boil some water until warm for the baby to rest in for a little. And continue giving him formula- watering it down as much as they could but also getting him nutrients.

Yixing was saying it should pass by tomorrow or the next day if they were lucky and kept anything but formula out of Jisungs reach to let his system settle, but Baekhyun hated the thought of Jisung crying because he was hungry later.

And they had nothing decent to feed him right now, hopefully one of the two would be able to find some plain rice for the baby in the meantime.

“Hyung, ow.” Jisung sobbed, a hand coming to tug on his ear, “Head ow!”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Baekhyun sighed, gently bouncing him and pressing his forehead down onto his curls, “I know baby, your head hurts too- we’re going to get you some fresh water and you’ll be okay, you just go to sleep.”

“Mess- Hyung I mess.”

Baekhyun frowned and immediately began patting Jisungs bottom because it always put the toddler to sleep, “Hyung doesn’t mind, it's not your fault. We just cleaned it up, it’s okay. If it happens again, that’s okay too, you’re not in trouble.”

It would happen again, it was undeniable. Jisungs clothes were now ruined, but vomit or bodily fluids they had no choice but to give him theirs, or Baekhyun's, but it didn’t matter if they were huge on him when the baby wouldn’t be walking around anyways.

Sick babies were clingy babies and Baekhyun had no issues when it scared him to even think about leaving Jisung alone like this.

“Baek- it’s clear.” Yifan walked back, shoving his knife away as he reached down to grab the diaper bag and jacket Baekhyun had been using for Jisung to lay down on.

“Hyung.” Baekhyun whispered, running his palm comfortingly down the back of Jisungs neck, “Hyung, we need to stay here a few days… can you… draw some arrows, write some-“

“We got it, sweetie.” The leader whispered softly, “We’ll paint some notes, we’ll be back really quick, Baek.”

Baekhyun chewed his lip and nodded, slowly following behind the leader, bouncing the baby calmly.

The house actually didn’t look ransacked at all. It looked completely clean.

It probably helped that walkers also hadn’t been in this area- which meant no or not many people had also been here. Based on all the dust, probably not for a while.

Baekhyun immediately used one hand to move a few couch pillows on the outside of the couch to lay the baby down safely, “You guys be back soon, okay? I’ll see what there is to cook.”

“We’ll be back quickly, cutie, don’t worry.” Yixing cooed, leaning over the couch to touch Baekhyun's forehead for a second.

Baekhyun nodded, a soft smile on his face as he walked around the couch towards the kitchen, “Be safe.”

“You too.” Yifan replied, walking towards the door, holding it open for Yixing.

Baekhyun immediately began digging through cabinets as soon as they walked out, searching for anything.

He pulled out large pots and tried the tap water, it seemed they had gotten lucky with all of the water running in this area, it wasn’t warm, but it looked clean, and they had been drinking it so far and no issues.

“Matches… matches…” He whispered, pulling open drawers frantically. The house did look like it was left in a hurry, drawers and cabinets strewn about, but thru probably had no idea what was useful because Baekhyun found matches pretty fast.

He turned the knob on the stove, listening for the clicking sound and quickly lightly the burner, doing the same to the one beside it, setting the pots on to warm up.

He cleared his throat slightly, meandering over to the bathroom beside the kitchen, looking for a drain plug and plugging it before grabbing a towel sitting on the counter, it smelled kind of musty, probably from sitting so long, but it was better than nothing.

God, if only things weren’t so complicated just to give the baby a warm bath. Years ago it would have taken maybe five minutes to have all the things he needed to get it all set up, but he didn’t really have any choice now.

He turned the tub water on, cold being the only option and filled it about a half an inch before getting up and going back into the kitchen, checking the almost boiling water before opening cabinets.

Immediately, he internally jumped in excitement at the blocks of chicken stock, rice, oats, cans. It looked like they would be eating good today.

He immediately got a pan and dumped in the bottle of stock, it wasn’t chicken, but it would still give them some energy, he’d just need to reuse the pots he had boiling for the oats and rice.

Just as he was taking the first boiling pot off the stove and walking into the bathroom he heard Jisung start fussing softly, the quiet whimpering he did when he woke up alone.

“Jisungie! Hold on, sweetheart!” Baekhyun cried, dumping the water in the tub and feeling it. Only slightly warm.

“Hyung is making you a bath, baby, hold on!”

Baekhyun felt like his heart raced out of his chest when the baby cried, making his blood race as he dropped the hot empty pot in the sink and grabbed the other one quickly, running into the bathroom.

“H-Hyung!”

Baekhyun gulped, turning on the tub for a second to lower the temperature before deeming it okay and going to run into the living room.

“Hey, baby, hey- come on!” He urged, reaching down to grab the red faced baby. “Hyung made you a bath, you want a bath?”

Jisung hiccuped, grabbing around Baekhyun's neck tightly. “Belly hurt.”

“I know, Ji. Let’s get you in the bath and then we’ll make Hyungs food, yeah? You want to be a big helper?”

Jisung perked up at the offer.

All of this, just for basic human needs. Baekhyun couldn't believe it had come back down to this.

~~~~~~~~

Taeyong rubbed his eye, other arm wrapped tightly around Jungkook's arm as he limped along.

His leg really wasn’t hurting that bad, it was mainly inconveniently placed where it could potentially reopen if he flexed his calf too hard, and it was closing- his Hyungs were just overly concerned about it.

“Did you come from the east or west?” He heard Junmyeon ask Zitao behind him.

The man shrugged, “I don’t know, I swore I was on Yifan, Yixing, Jiyong, and Baekhyun for a while, but… I don’t know they got up and left in the middle of the night one night and I couldn’t keep up in the dark without a light.”

“That’s…. they know better than to leave in the middle of the night, you sure?” Jongin frowned curiously.

Zitao nodded, itching at a spot a splinter used to be, “Positive, I heard Baek singing Jisung to sleep- hundred percent man, but… they just went quiet after a while and I lost them… that’s how I knew the notes were theirs.”

“Wait you said Jiyong? He was there? Thought he was on the bus?” Chanyeol added, stopping leading the group only to walk to Taeyong and grab his arm to give the teen more support.

Taeyong appreciated it, but he felt like he was being a hassle for not accepting one of them to just carry him.

“I saw him get off the bus.” Minseok chirped, “Didn’t really think about it, but… didn’t he tell Yeol he had a crush on Baek or something?”

“What?” Jongin inquired, turning to look over his shoulder at Chanyeol, “You didn’t tell us that!”

“I didn’t because I didn’t want Baekhyun to get worked up, okay?” Chanyeol defended, “You know he would have gotten… freaked out, and neither of you two can keep a secret.”

“Okay- okay, chill!” Kyungsoo demanded as Jongin looked like he was going to get worked up. “You two, calm your shit, Chanyeol… what- what the fuck did he say to you, like… is that why you tried to keep them separated? Like… we thought it was jealousy, but it wasn’t?”

“I mean… it was that too...”

~~~~~~~

Yifan and Yixing felt like they were hitting the jackpot with all of their finds, food, new clothes, even a few bottles of medicine.

These seemed like things people probably shouldn’t be so excited over, but they were now.

They didn’t have all of their things stocked up in excess like at the prison, they didn’t have a reliable system of people going out scavenging- a map of places they had yet to venture too.

No, they were just blindly looking, blindly trying. But they weren’t lost.

They had passed where Woodsbury had stood just a few days ago, so at least they had some sort of an idea in mind of where they were, in an abandoned town just a few miles past it, if they had a map they could probably pinpoint it too.

“Hey, Fan… let's check the perimeter really quick before it gets dark.” The medic suggested, hands curled in the straps of his backpack to support the overfilled bag.

Yifan hummed, throwing an arm around his soulmates back, “It’s getting dark, Xing. Baek might start freaking out if we’re not back soon.”

“Come on, Hyung.” Yixing cooed softly, “I have a good feeling, just the ends of the blocks and that’s it.”

Yifan wasn’t good at telling Yixing no.

~~~~~~~~

Baekhyun gulped as he peered out the windows. It was dark out, sky clouding like it was going to rain soon.

“Do you feel better, baby? Here, let me make you a plate.”

Jisung laughed, and Baekhyun felt more relieved than he had the past few days, “Hungy.”

“I know!” Baekhyun cried playfully, picking up Jisung from where he was coloring with a piece of yellowed paper and only a few different colored pens. “Our Jisungie can finally eat! Hyung is hungry too! Better eat soon or I’m gonna have to chew up my baby!”

Baekhyun grabbed Jisungs fingers and playfully pretended to gnaw on them as he carried the almost naked baby, only wearing a pull up, into the kitchen. “Gonna eat you up, Ji!”

Jisung wiggled and smiled wide, pretty teeth displayed, “Hyung! No no! Bad!”

“Ah, how rude!” The elder smiled, “Fine, I guess we’ll just eat real food!” He cried as if exasperated.

“Lots of food!”

“Yeah, Hyungs are really hungry, I made lots and lots so we can take it with us, maybe a week's worth or so.” Baekhyun knew Jisung probably didn’t understand or care about anything he was saying but he still nodded and it was adorable.

Baekhyun only listened to the cute humming of Jisung into his shoulder as he grabbed a plate he had rinsed the dust off earlier, only putting a little bit of rice and oats on it. “Hyung will give you only a little now and then we’re going to wait and see if you get a belly ache again, okay?”

Jisung only swung his legs and made an excited noise as Baekhyun carried him back to his spot in a pile of slightly dusty blankets and set the plate down, giving Jisung a small spoon. “Slow, Ji. Hyung will get you water.”

Baekhyun waited for a second to make sure Jisung heard him and then grabbed his backpack from the couch, digging out his last water bottle before opening it and placing it down beside the toddler and glancing at the curtains.

He swore he could hear something outside, but moments ago it had looked like it would start storming soon, so he brushed it off to the weather.

Until he realized it sounded like it was getting closer.

He ran to Jisung immediately, getting a confused, messy faced look as he pulled the baby back into his chest and pulled the blanket up Jisungs chest, knocking the empty plate to the side.

“Hyungie!” Jisung pouted, “My pate!”

“Shh.” Baekhyun whispered seriously, “We’re being quiet now, quiet time.”

The toddler pouted, crossing his arms, “No want to play!”

Baekhyun cut him off by laying a gentle hand over the baby’s mouth as the door opened, other hand on his gun. Jisung huffed and pushed his hand off at Baekhyun's delayed removal of the hand. “Hyung! Baekie throwed my pate!”

“Oh thank god.” Baekhyun sighed in relief, throwing himself back against the couch and closing his eyes, “Fuck, I thought someone was coming here.”

“Sorry we scared you, dollface.”


	49. Dollface

“Just a bit further guys.” Zitao urged, “Come on, we need at least a house to stay in- it’s going to rain.”

“Okay, but if we don’t find one soon we’ll need to stop, Tao, we can’t just trudge through the rain.” Junmyeon argued gently.

There wasn’t much to say, because he was right.

They had been walking so long today, everywhere it felt like.

Jongin stopped to adjust Taeyong sleeping over his shoulders, gently bouncing the teen higher and moving his hands tighter around the back of the teens knees.

“Switch?” Taehyung asked quietly, “You want a break?”

“I’m good.” The elder denied quickly, “Thanks though… I’ll.. let you know if I want a break in a bit.”

Taehyung wasn’t expecting him to accept anyways, backing off quickly.

They understood that Taeyong was special, everyone thought he was too. But they also knew the three probably thought so way more than anyone else did, because this was their soulmates brother- the only real connection they had to Baekhyun at the moment.

And, nobody really held them not wanting anyone else to help Taeyong but them against them. Not after Taeyong had already gotten hurt, after he had to kill that little girl.

Just the look on the three men’s faces when they ran back for the teenager was enough. Let alone the look on Taeyongs face too, or his pained screaming.

Finding out Baekhyun was still okay… it was a relief to them all, but to his soulmates- it was everything.

“Guys…” Jimin mumbled, flashlight shining to the side, walking off the forest floor and quickly moving to a jog, “Guys!”

“Hey! Wait up!” Minseok ordered, immediately ignored.

The group quickly followed after Jimin, carefully avoiding the trees as they cursed behind the man.

Kyungsoo narrowly ran straight into Jimin's back as he stopped abruptly in front of him. “Jimin, what the fuck man!”

“Just as grumpy as I remember.” Kyungsoo stiffened at the voice.

Chanyeol practically threw himself at the leader, “Hyung!”

Maybe they should have avoided the woods since the beginning and just stayed on the roads.

~~~~~~~~

“Sorry we scared you, dollface.”

Baekhyun furrowed his brows and snapped his head up, neck aching.

As if it was slow motion, his hand came up to clasp around his mouth, eyes watering and shoulders beginning to shake as he dropped his face into his hands.

“Oh, fuck. Don’t cry, thanks Jongin!” Kyungsoo growled, immediately jumping over to his soulmate and sending a thankful nod to Yixing for grabbing the baby out of the way. “Hey, beauty. My baby.”

Baekhyun choked a cry as Kyungsoo knelt in front of him, gently coaxing the other to look up. “This… this is a dream?”

“Oh, sweetheart.” Jongin purred, gently laying Taeyong's sleeping body down on the couch, “Give me love before Yeol comes in and hogs you.”

The younger coughed out a gasp of disbelief, throwing his arms around Kyungsoo's shoulders, “E-everyone is alright? You guys are okay- Ta-Tae is just sleeping?”

“Of course.” Kyungsoo mumbled into Baekhyun's cheek, “Of course, honey, my precious husband, god.. did you have an adventure? Next time let’s go together.”

“No next time.” Baekhyun sniffed, hand reaching out for Jongin while the other curled into Kyungsoo's slightly greasy hair, “Don’t leave me.”

Jongin smiled apologetically, leaning over to press his mouth to Baekhyun's forehead, “Never. Never, baby.”

Baekhyun only whimpered, pulling back just to press his mouth firmly to Kyungsoo's, uncaring about how absolutely dirty the man was, dirt on his cheeks and clothes.

“Love you.” The elder murmured against Baekhyun's mouth, dirtied hand stroking Baekhyun's soft cheekbone, “Love you, so much.”

The younger sighed into his mouth, tears falling fast down his face as he pressed his bottom lip between both of Kyungsoo's lips. “I love you- Hy-Hyungs, I love you.”

“Oh, love.” Jongin fussed at the younger crying so much, “Baby, please- you know if Chanyeol see’s-“

“If I see what?” Said man asked deeply, walking through the front door with Yifan, hair slightly wet, “We cleared the house next door for ever- why is he crying? What happened?”

Chanyeol was rushing over immediately, “What happened?”

Baekhyun peeked up from Kyungsoo's shoulder with a watery laugh as he looked at the eldest, “Missed you guys.”

The eldest made a soft noise as he leaned down to pick him up, “We missed you so much, Baek. Do you feel okay? Are you still sick? Come on, let’s take you to a room.”

“Tae?” Baekhyun whispered softly, pressing his face into the crook of Chanyeol's neck.

“Don’t worry.” Jongin answered gently, “He’s just tired, let’s just let him sleep a little, love.”

Baekhyun didn’t have it in him to argue when Chanyeol was already carrying him down the hall and he was stifling his excited crying into his soulmates skin.

“Shh, oh, gorgeous. Did you have such a hard time? Us too, our Baekhyunnie. We were so scared.” Chanyeol mumbled, deep voice shaking Baekhyun's chest before he was laid onto a bed, fingers immediately pulling at his jacket.

“Let’s check you for any scratches or anything, baby. Want to see you.” Kyungsoo explained, pulling Baekhyun's shirt right off his chest.

It was such a horrible excuse, they just wanted skin on skin contact with him, and Baekhyun knew what they were doing, but he wanted it too. “Need to tell you something.” Baekhyun mumbled, eyes slightly swollen and wet as he unbuttoned his jeans and kicked them off.

“Anything, kitten. We’re listening.” Jongin replied as he and the older two pulled their own clothes off down to their boxers.

Baekhyun sat up on his knees in the middle of the bed, pushing the first layer of stale blankets off. “I killed Jiyong.”

The older three froze, looking at him confused. “I thought you were friends.” Kyungsoo wondered.

The youngest chewed his lip, curling his knees to his chest making his soulmates frown at his spine sticking out as he leaned over. “Don’t be mad at me.” Baekhyun requested.

“Okay.” Chanyeol agreed carefully, standing at the end of the bed directly in front of Baekhyun. Out of habit Baekhyun's eyes immediately trailed the man’s form before he gulped and looked at the floral sheets instead.

“He… you were right, Yeol… he did have a crush on me.” Baekhyun began carefully, “And… he was so strange- asking so many odd things… he-he basically said j-just because we were soulmates I didn’t… have to be with you guys and I was so mad- I told him we were married, not just soulmates and he didn’t even care whe-when I was so loyal to you!”

“Hey. Baby, we know, it’s okay.” Kyungsoo soothed, sitting behind Baekhyun and placing a warm palm on his hip, “You’re very loyal, and us to you, that’s how it’s supposed to be in relationships, beauty.”

Baekhyun's eyes flicked to Chanyeol's for just a second before he was staring at his feet curling into the bedding uncomfortably, “He tried to tell me Channie was abusive.”

It was silent a few beats before Chanyeol was leaning over the mattress to gently touch Baekhyun's ear, “What’d you say, love? Y-You know I love you so much, r-right? I’d never… I’d never hurt you Baekhyun, please… I-I would-“

“I know.” Baekhyun interrupted immediately as he saw the eldest begin to get worked up, the glossiness coming to his eyes. “I know… Hyung, I love you, of course I don’t think that. And I told him he knew nothing- h-he had no idea how we were, it’s our marriage… not his, and.. I know we have things to work on, me too, but that doesn’t… give him the right…”

“You’re right, babe.” Jongin agreed against the headboard, “You… you killed him over the assumption? I mean.. not that we care either way, Baekhyunnie, you’re still our pretty doll.”

“He started… he was creeping me out- telling me I was beautiful an-and just.. it freaked me out.”

Kyungsoo curled his lip up and pressed a soft kiss to Baekhyun's shoulder, “You are, but you’re also a married man, he shouldn’t be trying to seduce you.”

“He kissed me.” Baekhyun blurted, hand coming up to wipe his mouth uncomfortably as if it had only recently happened and hadn’t been days ago. “I’m sorry- I-I didn’t want it… but I wasn’t- I don’t know what his intentions were because he was trying to convince me you guys were dead then complimenting, and… and I was so upset but I stabbed him when he- he kissed me and I don’t- I don’t like anyone else’s kisses but your guys’ I really… Hyungs, I really didn’t want it-“

Chanyeol cut his ranting off because he was starting to sound like it was his own fault and it definitely didn’t sound that way. Pressing his mouth firmly on Baekhyun's licking over his bottom lip before pulling away, “Only we are supposed to kiss you, baby. I would’ve killed him, Baek.” He promised, pressing another kiss to the corner of his husband's mouth before letting go and running his thumb gently over a freckle on Baekhyun's cheek. “Don’t feel bad, I would’ve killed him.”

“I don’t feel bad. I told him not to touch me.” Baekhyun sighed in relief, grabbing Chanyeol's wrist to press a kiss to his fingertips before pressing his cheek into his husband's palm. “I just… I didn’t like it.”

“Good.” Jongin commented, moving the pillows around at the headboard, “Now come here and let me see your pretty face, I’m feeling so possessive right now.”

“By see you mean suck on his mouth.” Kyungsoo laughed, pressing a kiss below Baekhyun's ear, “I know because I feel the same. God, I’ll kill anyone that dares to do anything you don’t like, sweetheart. You didn’t consent, you didn’t like it, that’s assault.”

“Hyung.” Baekhyun's voice was already breathy as he turned to brush his lips on Kyungsoo's cheek, “I want to forget about it… I’m disgusted… I think- I think I scrubbed my mouth raw after. Missed you guys so bad.”

He heard a curse against his shoulder and felt Chanyeol's fingers gently gaining his attention, thumb running over Baekhyun's mouth as if worried. “You’re not at fault. And we’re not mad at you, if he were here right now… he’d be black and blue.”

Baekhyun licked his lips, tongue swiping Chanyeol's thumb, “My mouth is… yours, my body is yours, my heart is yours- split in three like how it should be.”

“As sexy as that sounded, baby. Your body is your own.” Jongin corrected, sucking his lip into his mouth.

“Then I want it to be yours.” Baekhyun replied immediately, pressing a kiss over Chanyeol's finger before laying back, hand reaching up to pull Kyungsoo down to his face with a cute smile, “Want to be yours… everywhere, all the time.”

“You’re already ours.” Kyungsoo pressed a soft kiss to his forehead and Baekhyun almost pouted that he wasn’t picking up on his meaning before he saw Chanyeol going to dig around the room, “That’s what this ring is for, bunny.”

Baekhyun chewed his lip, fingers brushing over the nape of Kyungsoo's neck, “Then I want you to be mine, for as long as we’re here together.”

He heard Jongin curse and felt the bed move as the younger of his husbands began to help Chanyeol dig around for supplies. “You don’t need to worry about that.” Chanyeol called as Kyungsoo began to kiss the side of his face, “We don’t see anyone but you- the prettiest, most beautiful baby, our baby. Hyungs only see you, Baekhyunnie, ever since we met.”

“What… what about before we met?” Baekhyun teased, face already getting red from all the affection being placed familiarly.

“It was still you.” Chanyeol assured, “I was always you, will always be you. You’re literally prettier than any person I’ve ever seen, Baekhyun. I would've never pictured someone so perfect falling in love with me too.”

Baekhyun smiled at the compliment but shook his head, “I’m not perfect, none of us are perfect.”

“We’re perfect for you and you for us, that’s all that matters right now.” Jongin chirped, his footsteps creaking the wooden floors as he walked to the end of the bed and ran warm hands up Baekhyun's thighs. “Let’s sleep, baby.”

“Make love first.” Baekhyun argued, hand in Kyungsoo's hair as the man pressed his cheek onto Baekhyun's sternum with a quiet laugh at his cuteness.

“We don’t have any supplies, darling.” Chanyeol sighed, “No lube, you know we’re not willing to hurt you.”

Baekhyun pouted, covering his face with his arm, face blazing at the rejection.

“Guess we’ll just have to use spit then and be careful.” Jongin added, fingers inching up to Baekhyun's boxers, “You’ll think it’s gross, love, but I don’t mind.”

“Oh, please.” Chanyeol snorted, pulling Baekhyun's hand away from his face just to tease him and look over the pretty blush. “Baekhyunnie loves tongues, isn’t that right, huh? You want to ride my face again, beautiful?”

“Channie!” The youngest screeched as Kyungsoo and Jongin chuckled, “Do you need to be like this?”

Chanyeol laughed, beaming as Baekhyun sat back up onto his knees, “Because it’s true, baby, you never told them? They’d really love to see it. They’ve been too soft on you, huh gorgeous? Our Baekhyunnie doesn’t always like vanilla things.”

“I like them when they’re not with you!” Baekhyun giggled playfully, tangling his fingers in Chanyeol's curls roughly making the elder grunt, satisfied. “You’re crazy!”

“Oh, please.” Kyungsoo snickered, wrapping his hands around the front of Baekhyun's boxer waistband, “I still remember you crying just so I’d let you suck me off- you don’t need to ask, sweetheart.”

“You too?” Jongin smirked, “God, and I thought it was just me who got all worked up over the watery eyes just so he could ask if he could try finger-“

“Not you too!” Baekhyun cried, flopping down against the pillows, “One of you love me or I’ll sleep upset!”

Kyungsoo snorted, “Oh no, can’t have that!”


	50. Drunk & Happy

Baekhyun smiled to himself, standing at the stove and warming up leftovers from last night. It wasn’t good to eat food that sat out, but they didn’t really have much of a choice, and technically it had only been a few hours.

Plus, it was too much food to just go to waste, especially because it seemed they’d be in here at least another day or two. He noticed Sehun's shoes by the door and figured him and Luhan probably snuck their way over too, probably taking a room upstairs by Yifan and Yixing.

Taeyong was still passed out on the couch, and Baekhyun had gone to lay a blanket on him and noticed his jeans ripped, curiosity was picking at him, but he’d leave it alone until his brother was up and ready to explain.

“You couldn’t lay in bed any longer?” Jongin chuckled softly, scratching his bare chest before wrapping arms around Baekhyun's hips.

Baekhyun swayed playfully, humming a tune to himself, “Insomnia, Hyung.”

“Okay, you couldn’t have insomnia with some pants on, hm?” The elder teased lifting up the edge of Chanyeol's shirt that covered the smaller like a dress, running his palms over the soft skin of Baekhyun's thigh.

Baekhyun laughed prettily, turning around to laugh into Jongin's neck, “Want to make you food, you know like in the movies?”

“Those movies are always for people’s first times together.” Jongin teased, patting Baekhyun's bangs to press a kiss to his forehead, “And I’ve had you on my tongue more times than I can even count.”

“Ugh!” The younger hissed with false annoyance and a deep blush, “Disgusting.”

“I disagree!” Jongin laughed, “Tastes like sugar, everywhere you taste like candy.”

“More like tastes like sweat.” Baekhyun pouted, “You're disgusting.”

Jongin only smiled, pressing his smile into the back of Baekhyun's neck as the younger folded foil filled with some rice.

“Hungry?” Baekhyun asked, shoving a spoonful of rice with chicken broth in it, wiggling his hand happily.

Jongin chuckled, “Always for you, doll.”

“And for food?”

“That too.”

Baekhyun giggled, grabbing a plate from the counter and filling it up way more than he should if they wanted to save food for the road- but they found quite a bit of other valuable foods that could be kept, hopefully in the houses next door it was the same. “Odd combinations.” He added with a laugh, passing the plate over and his own spoon.

“Still more than we’ve had since the prison fell.” Jongin shrugged, pressing a soft kiss to Baekhyun's brow and accepting the plate. “At least we had some supplies, we got in an argument with citizens and basically… got kicked off the bus, fuck them though, we still got our supplies… and my little dove is back so I say we won.”

“Is it a game?” The younger laughed, twisting the ring around his finger and watching Jongin move to sit on the island.

“If it is… we won!” Jongin claimed with a cute laugh.

Baekhyun licked his lip with a slight blush, leaning back against the granite counter and straightening the long shirt out. “You guys… just were in the forest the whole time?”

Jongin shrugged, chewing down his bite, “Uh… mostly, we went towards the road a few times, but it was so unnerving that it was so quiet, it’s probably only because of the attack being so loud- it drew all of the walkers back towards the prison- at least that gives us a pretty smooth journey for a while.”

Baekhyun hummed, puffing out his cheeks unconsciously before looking over Jongin towards the doorway at footsteps.

A few seconds later he saw Chanyeol's bed head popping around the corner with a scowl, squinting in a way Baekhyun thought adorable when the man first woke up. Like a grumpy puppy.

“Baek…” He whined, boxers hanging low on his hips as he stumbled over, immediately reaching out for the smaller.

Baekhyun laughed, grabbing a granola bar from the counter and pressing a soft kiss to Chanyeol's neck as the man pulled him in. “Go back to sleep, Hyung.” He ordered softly, unwrapping the snack with his cheek to Chanyeol's sternum.

“Can’t sleep when you’re not there.” Chanyeol admitted, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's hair, “I wake up to check on you, if you’re not there it freaks me out.”

“I’m just out here.” Baekhyun assured with a frown, “Nini and I were talking- bite?”

Chanyeol smiled, grabbing the smallers wrist to take a bite of the granola bar.

“You can’t sleep if you don’t see me?” The younger asked, moving away from Chanyeol to place his wrapper in the trash bag on the island- there was no point in dirtying the place when they weren’t sure how long they’d need to stay.

“Not since… not since we were broken up.” The eldest admitted, licking over his lips and looking almost apologetic.

“Hyung.” Jongin sighed, reaching out to touch Baekhyun's hip for a moment at his stiffening, “You guys are okay now, married in fact.”

Chanyeol's while face brightened up at that, moving his hand up to rub his eye as he laughed deeply, “I know, and I can’t believe it. Our Baekhyunnie must be really nice to have taken me back. Hyung still regrets it quite a bit, sunshine.”

Baekhyun frowned, bottom lip sticking out more than the top unconsciously as he strolled back into Chanyeol's chest, fingers immediately curling themselves into the firm muscle of the man’s hips. “Wasn't your fault, Hyung.”

The eldest grabbed his chin softly, running his thumb near the corner of his mouth before leaning down to press an open mouthed kiss to the pretty red mouth of his soulmate, “All those months ago i was so upset, sweetheart, I shouldn’t have gotten worked up with you; Hyung is working on it, my baby.”

“I can tell.” Baekhyun replied immediately, “Can tell, Hyung. I mean… I think you would’ve lost your mind before if I told you someone… kissed me.”

Baekhyun heard Jongin make a huffing noise behind him and felt Chanyeol's chest rumble, “God, I’m pissed, don't get me wrong.” Chanyeol began, “Fuck-we’re very pissed, incredibly so, but who were the ones that just had your gorgeous little self? Who, baby?”

“You guys.” The younger whispered, licking over his lips at the demanding, but soft, tone.

“And who gets to kiss you whenever they want?”

“My husbands.”

“That’s correct, dollface.” Jongin purred, a familiar proudness to his voice almost as if he couldn’t get enough of hearing Baekhyun's admissions. “We love the absolute shit out of you, baby husband.”

Baekhyun giggled, a slight excited bounce on his heels, “Love you! Love you!” He sung slightly, smiling as Chanyeol turned him around to press his back to his chest so he’d face Jongin, “My husbands, I was so sad without you!”

“Ugh, what the fuck are you guys talking about at three in the morning?” Kyungsoo scolded, walking around the corner. Baekhyun always thought it was ridiculous how handsomely cute Kyungsoo looked when he woke up.

“Guess what I found, Soo!” Baekhyun changed the subject, a giggle at Kyungsoo's pouty face. “Gonna be storming a while and I found good stuff!”

Kyungsoo brightened up at the attention immediately, plastering a smile on his face, “What’d you find, buttercup?”

Baekhyun beamed at the many new nicknames, turning around to open a cabinet. “We never celebrated our marriage.” He began with a slight laugh,  
“So I found these!”

He pulled out two bottles of alcohol with a shy chuckle. “Uh-Uh… happy marriage!”

Immediately the three were laughing at his cuteness and Kyungsoo was walking over to wrap his fingers around the bottle, “I don’t think that’s a thing people say, but you’re cute so I don’t even care, babe.”

“You want to get drunk, baby? Have you even drank before?” Chanyeol asked as Kyungsoo opened one of the bottles.

Baekhyun shrugged, wiggling his way to stand between Jongin's legs, “Nope! But I guess I’ll find out!”

“Guess I’ll be the sober one then.” Chanyeol tsked, “Just kidding, love. Hyung doesn’t like drinking, you do what you want.”

“First one for you, bunny.” Kyungsoo cooed, offering the bottle.

~~~~~~~~~~

Baekhyun giggled high pitched, hand reaching around Kyungsoo's back to grab the half empty bottle from the nightstand, “S’funny!”

Chanyeol sniggered, snatching the alcohol from his hands, “No more, you're done.”

The younger opened his mouth comically wide with a gasp, turning to press his cheek to a red flushed Kyungsoo, “Hyung, mean! Tell me no, Soo!”

Kyungsoo beamed slightly tipsy, but not drunk like Baekhyun or Jongin, “It’s okay, no more or you’ll get sick, baby.”

Baekhyun huffed, turning to crawl off his lap and plopping on his back, staring at the ceiling. “No fun!”

“I’m fun.” Jongin slurred slightly, pulling Baekhyun's arm, “Come here-“

“Yah! No, you don’t pick him up.” Chanyeol scolded quickly, reaching over to sit Baekhyun up gently unlike how Jongin was drunkenly trying to pull the smaller into his lap.

“What?” Jongin suddenly looked near tears and Chanyeol rolled his eyes at his drunken sensitivity.

“You’re drunk, you’ll drop him.”

Jongin gasped in outrage, accepting Baekhyun crawling into his lap.

“Don’t drop me, Nini!” Baekhyun pouted, arms tight around Jongin's neck, “It’s okay, hold me! Don’t drop!”

“I wouldn’t, Hyung!” Jongin called over Baekhyun's shoulder towards Chanyeol with an offended tone.

“He said he wouldn’t!” The youngest laughed, pressing a kiss to Jongin cheek before gasping and turning to look at Chanyeol, “You made Nini upset! No love!”

Kyungsoo sniggered at the two, tiredly rolling on his side and climbing under the blankets, “Go to sleep, baby.”

“You won’t give Hyung love?” Chanyeol gawked fakely, holding back his smile at the pretty flush all the way down Baekhyun's chest and face. “How rude! Now you’re just hurting my feelings!”

Baekhyun opened his arms immediately at Chanyeol's fake pout, “I’ll give Hyung love now!”

Chanyeol laughed quietly and accepted the smaller into his lap, letting Baekhyun situate himself around his hips and begin touching the elders hair.

“Channie, Yeollie, baby!” Baekhyun ranted, eyes slightly glossy as he forced his nose into the elders with a cute noise.

“You’re the baby, not me, sweetheart.” Chanyeol teased, pulling the back of Baekhyun's shirt over his legs, “My baby, my little baby.”

“Nope!” Baekhyun tittered, pulling his shirt up his hips just because Chanyeol was trying to hold it down and he thought it was funny, “My baby, my husband!”

“Hyung is too big to be called baby.” Jongin mumbled, moving to curl around Kyungsoo and immediately getting hit at.

Baekhyun ‘oh’ed and curled his fingers around Chanyeol's cheek before grinning wide, “Hyung can be my daddy!”

Immediately Chanyeol stiffened, “Lets… baby, let’s not talk about that right now…”

“Why not?” The youngest frowned, tilting his head and wrapping thin fingers into Chanyeol's shirt, “Want a daddy, i've never had one.”

“No, sweetheart.” Kyungsoo sat up on his elbow and patted the bed in front of him, “Come to bed and we can talk another time.”

“No!” Baekhyun whined, “Be my daddy, Hyung?” He requested softly, pressing a kiss to Chanyeol's ear, “Min Hyung told me people like it.”

Chanyeol gulped, eyes shaking as he stared at Kyungsoo for help, Jongin already practically drooling into a pillow. “Baby, I don’t really think we should talk about it right now…”

“But you like it?” The smaller asked with a giggle, rolling his hips into Chanyeol's only earning the elder to groan, hands grabbing Baekhyun's hips to still him. “Daddy likes it!”

“Fuck, I like anything that comes out of your mouth, but we’re not talking about this right now, love. Go see Kyungsoo and go to bed, precious.”

Baekhyun frowned, licking his lips nervously, “You don’t want me?”

“I love you. You're a little horny drunk.” Chanyeol laughed, gently moving Baekhyun off of his lap and setting him back against the pillows, “But it’s way past bedtime, so give some love and go to sleep.”

Immediately forgetting what he was talking about Baekhyun wiggled under the blanket to press his lips to Kyungsoo's face with a happy noise. “Love you! Love you, Soo!”

“Okay, okay. Love you too, baby, but Hyung is exhausted. Night time, Baek.” Kyungsoo laughed tiredly, flinging an arm around Baekhyun to keep him still.

~~~~~~~

“Yeol.”

Chanyeol jumped slightly, almost dropping the spoonful of rice in his hand as he grabbed his chest, “Fuck, Hyung, goddamn. Why are you up so early?”

Yifan snorted, taking a seat on the island and looking through the nonperishables stacked on the island, “Storm sounds pretty loud upstairs, why are you up?”

“Others passed out, Baek found alcohol. We have leftovers if you want it.”

“No thanks. Explains why you smell like… what is that tequila?” The leader laughed quietly.

Chanyeol flushed, scratching the back of his neck before offering the huge bowl of rice he was eating out of. “And vodka.”

Yifan only rolled his eyes playfully, accepting the bowl.

“You guys were okay on the road?” Chanyeol wondered, taking a seat across from the leader, “We avoided it because we weren’t sure what people we’d run into or how bad walkers would be.”

“Wasn't bad at all, we barely saw any walkers in fact.”

Chanyeol frowned, resting his elbow on the table, “Damn, we should’ve done that then. Could’ve saved us a lot of time and… rest.”

Yifan shrugged, “Yeah… What's up with Taeyong’s leg? Came out here a few hours ago and saw his jeans all cut up.”

“That girl… the weird one, she attacked him… he-uh.. he's pretty messed up from it so weren't not mentioning it. He won’t even accept his gun back and that was a good week ago… turns out she was the reason walkers were coming to the fence- she fed them.”

Yifan cringed and nearly choked on his rice. “You’re kidding? She just… attacked him?”

Chanyeol nodded with a scowl, “Fuck. It was our fault too, we shouldn’t have left them together, ans next thing I knew I heard the gunshot and his crying… fuck, you know how bad it hurts to hear crying knowing you could have prevented it? We… we had one job and it was to protect him, and we didn’t.”

“Baekhyun will still be proud of you.” Yifan soothed immediately, “Saved his little brother, he won’t care at what risk.”

“Baekhyun hates killing innocent people.” Chanyeol argued, “Lizzie could have been saved.”

Yifan made a slight tsking noise, “Uh… I’m not, I don’t know how true that is anymore. I didn’t… I don’t know how to tell you this, okay? But just… I’m concerned about his mental health, Yeol. Just… watch him, play?”

Chanyeol stiffened and involuntarily curled his lips up, “I don’t need you telling me how to take care of my husband, my soulmate. I already know he stabbed Jiyong, and it’s concerning, but was he really innocent? I don’t know, all I know is Baekhyun felt threatened, and I can’t scold him when he finally stood up for himself.”

“And I’m not saying that, Chanyeol.” The leader argued gently, pushing his plate away to give the man his full attention, “You know Baekhyun… he-he sees things differently, right? Can we agree about that? Like when he’s afraid, when he gets worked up- he interprets things in the worst of ways.”

“Are you trying to say he wasn’t being attacked?” Chanyeol scoffed, “Look, truthfully I don’t need you telling me what’s wrong with Baek, we realize. But… there’s only so much that we can say or do, it’s easier to… to acknowledge it when it needs to be acknowledged rather than out of nowhere. It’s a problem, fuck.

Out of all of us I know it’s an issue, I’m the one that felt consequences for only raising my voice slightly and he thought I was hurting him, Hyung. Do you know what it’s like to have your soulmate look at you like you’re the problem? A monster? Unrecognizable? No, so I’d really appreciate if you didn’t try to tell me-“

Yifan reached out to grab Chanyeol's arm when the man began to leave. “He gutted him, Chanyeol.”

The leader saw his shoulder stiffen and only let go when Chanyeol turned back to face him. “Yeol, man, I wish I didn’t have to tell you, and I sure as hell am not telling you what to do. I can’t relate to you, I know that.

And I can’t relate to Baekhyun, and I don’t even think he realized how… how many times or how… disgustingly bloody he made the room… it was so bad we had to leave in the middle of the night, Yeol.

I’m not saying it wasn’t deserved, the only two people that knew what happened are Jiyong and … Baekhyun. And I’ll admit he did say odd things to Baekhyun, ask him odd things, but… Baekhyun… he really cut into him, Chanyeol, it wasn’t just a-an act of defense. He was mad, and we’re worried.”

Chanyeol couldn't think straight, not when Baekhyun was the cutest thing he’d ever seen, the sweetest. Had been clinging to Kyungsoo like a koala in his sleep when he had walked out.

It wasn’t possible. Baekhyun didn’t get mad, he got upset, he withheld emotions, but Chanyeol didn’t know that he had ever seen Baekhyun in a situation in which he looked mad enough to kill a man in cold blood.

He’d just have to discuss it with the others.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damn, I didn’t even realize there were so many chapters lmfaoooo!


	51. Cold Blood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you guys reading my other story! ❤️ 🐺

“Water. Ibuprofen.”

Jongin sighed in relief as he grabbed the pills and water, “Fuck, is this why I hate drinking?”

Chanyeol laughed, shaking his head as he placed the extra medicine down. “No, it’s because you’re a fucking baby. Almost cried when I said you couldn’t pick up Baekhyun because you’d drop him.”

Kyungsoo snickered, hand covering Baekhyun's ear so he wouldn’t disturb his sleep. “Jongin always cries about something when drunk.”

“Okay, but it was over Baek so I’ll accept it this time.” Jongin added defensively.

“Talked to Yifan Hyung this morning.” The eldest began quietly, his voice firm in a way that made both of the other two sigh and have to pay attention.

“Oh, god.” Jongin huffed, rubbing his temple and waiting for the medicine to kick in.

“He… he wants us to watch out for Baek, he’s worried about-“

“Why is he trying to tell us how to take care of him?” Kyungsoo growled, unintentionally cutting Chanyeol off. “We do watch him, all the time.”

“Okay, let me finish what I’m saying.” Chanyeol snapped back before taking a deep breath and sitting on the bench at the end of the bed. “Yifan Hyung said… that Baek completely… overkilled Jiyong. I know, I know it sounds crazy, but Yifan was really adamant about it… He's really worried, he said it was a bloody mess, guys… I’m not- listen, I’m not saying Baekhyun was wrong in killing him, and I’m not saying it was right either, but… I don’t know, we need to talk to him a little.”

“That’s not fair.” Jongin argued quickly, “Why do we have to always make him upset? He doesn’t want to talk about it, so it’s fine.”

“No.” Kyungsoo whispered quietly, finger running over Baekhyun's brow. “No, Jongin… I know you hate it, but… you know he doesn’t… see things like we do.”

“That’s bullshit.” The younger growled, rolling off the bed heatedly, “That's bullshit, Baekhyun is fine!”

Baekhyun frowned in his sleep at the noise, unconsciously moving his nose to press into Kyungsoo's collarbone.

“Keep your voice down.” Chanyeol hissed, grabbing Jongin's wrist, “You can be pissed but you know it’s true.”

“So what?” Jongin gawked in disbelief, “What? You think he doesn’t feel the same things too? You gonna try to tell me he doesn’t love me next? Come on, I feel like shit, I can’t deal with this right now.”

Chanyeol dropped his arm guiltily, truthfully never even considered the thought that Baekhyun could also feel things differently. “You can leave then, we’ll talk to him alone.”

“No, because I know he’s going to cry and then you guys are probably going to argue so I’ll stay because someone needs to comfort him.”

“That could be a problem.” Kyungsoo argued, brows furrowed as he looked up at Jongin. “You never give him time to cry it out, always hiding him too much. I understand, Jongin. It fucking hurts when he’s upset, but you need to be firmer, you say what we need to talk about and then comfort him after it’s done. If you do it during he just gets distracted.”

Jongin curled his lip up, tongue to his cheek as he took a seat on the bed opposite Kyungsoo, reaching over to touch the back of Baekhyun's hair. “Baby, time to get up, kitten.”

Chanyeol sighed at Jongin's lack of response and pointed the medicine and water out to Kyungsoo as Baekhyun began to stir.

“Hey, sweetheart, good morning, doll.” Jongin smiled gently as Baekhyun rolled onto his back with an annoyed noise, moving to nuzzle his nose into the smallers hair, “Good morning, my pretty baby. Hi, my love.”

Baekhyun only whined, eyes tightly shut as he moved to search for Jongin's waist, “Hurts.”

“We know, buttercup.” Kyungsoo sympathized, “Take these; it’s not too bad, right? Just a bit of a headache, maybe a stomach ache?”

Baekhyun nodded slightly, opening his eyes with a squint as Kyungsoo urged the medicine towards his lips.

“Okay, sleep.”

“Ah, hold on, cuteness.” Chanyeol started gently, firm tone as he reached out to grab Baekhyun's foot through the blanket, “We woke you up for a reason, sweetheart.”

Baekhyun stiffened immediately at the tone, scooting to sit against the headboard, “What’d I do?”

“Okay, you’re not in trouble.” Kyungsoo added gently, “Not at all, baby. We just want to talk to you a little.”

“I have a headache.” Baekhyun replied with a slight pout, pulling the blankets up to his chin and frowning as Jongin scooted away from him a little.

“We know.” Chanyeol sighed, “The medicine is going to work any minute, drink that water and it will go away in a little bit.”

The youngest nodded, chugging the rest of the glass and instead of handing it to Kyungsoo to put down, moving closer with a smile and a familiar move to cuddle. Kyungsoo gulped. “Baek, we’re going to talk seriously, okay? We can cuddle after and I’ll love the shit out of you, but right now I’m going to give you space.”

Baekhyun jumped back in offense and curled himself into a ball, moving a pillow in his lap instead. “I want to sleep.”

“Hyung, we should just let hi-“

“Jongin, really.” Chanyeol deadpanned, “Stay or go, Nini. We don’t have much of a choice other than to ask about it.”

“You’re mad?” Baekhyun asked quietly, gaze dropping to his lap, tapping his fingers impatiently.

“We’re not mad.” Kyungsoo said immediately, “We’re not mad, sweet pea. We’re only talking.”

Jongin inched a bit closer to Baekhyun out of habit and frowned at the disapproving look he got from Kyungsoo. “Fine. Get on with it then.”

Baekhyun looked up nervously, like he was awaiting being scolded as he looked around.

“Yeol talked to Yifan Hyung.” Kyungsoo started carefully, “He suggested… we talk to you a little about… what happened with Jiyong.”

“He said you completely overkilled, love.” Chanyeol added quietly, looking guilty as Baekhyun frowned, “We don’t care if you did or didn’t, but… let’s just talk about it a little.”

“I didn’t.” Baekhyun denied quickly, unconsciously scratching at his thighs, “I didn’t, I stabbed… once.”

“You don’t sound very sure, butterfly.” Kyungsoo cooed.

Baekhyun brought a hand up to his head in remembrance, looking distraught. “I-I…. I remember once, but then… a lot of blood? I think there was a lot of blood, a lot… Hyungs looked really scared when they came out.”

Chanyeol sighed deeply, licking his mouth nervously and dropping his forehead into his palm. “Yeah? And then what?”

“Then Hyungs cleaned me up and we left.” Baekhyun added emotionlessly, moving towards the side as if about to get off, “That's it? I’ll go see Taeyong.”

“Ah, hey.” Kyungsoo stopped him quickly, gently patting his thigh, “We’re not done yet, sugar. Just a little bit longer, okay? Please.”

Baekhyun's hands shook as he nodded, moving to lean back against the headboard, tears immediately pooling.

“Hey, why are you crying?” Jongin fussed quickly, “There’s no reason to cry, why are you crying?”

“Feel like I’m getting interrogated.” The youngest whispered, “You don’t believe me.”

“Why did you do it, Baekhyun?” Chanyeol asked pained, “We just want to know the truth.”

Baekhyun scoffed, a tear kissing his lip as he got angry. “I told you, I was afraid.”

“But… It's so unlike you to kill someone brutally, Baekhyun. You have to understand why we’re so concerned. Because we love you, and want to make sure you’re with us all the time- physically and mentally.”

“You want to know, Hyung?” Baekhyun hissed, sitting up on his knees, “I’m not crazy, I see more than you. And I’m tired- and I’m mad! I don’t want to just sit there and feel like I’m powerless! Do you want me to just… just take it? Fine, the next time someone wants to fucking touch me, I’ll just let them! Would that make you happy?”

“Oh, baby, we didn’t…” Jongin trailed off, uncomfortably moving to hide his hands in the blanket with an apologetic sigh, wanting to go comfort his husband but know he’d get scolded for it. And it was true, he did coddle him too much. But who wouldn’t when they had seen what he had seen his soulmate look like- directly after an assault, a rape, of course he only wanted to see him happy.

“That’s not what we’re asking and you know it, Baekhyun.” Kyungsoo said firmly, “You know that’s not what we meant.”

“Then what?” Baekhyun cried, shaking hands coming to wipe his mouth, “You want me to just let him? He was going to touch me, and I-I didn’t want to do it anymore. I’m tired of… people thinking they can walk all over me- why? Because I’m small? Because they think I’m pretty? Tell me why people do this to me? Always me! Always… always, and I’m fucking sick of it! I want to be strong too! I want to protect myself and my body…

I don’t like people touching me, I don’t like attention, and I don’t- I don’t like kissing anyone else... or-or even… even thinking about anything intimate without you makes my head spin. People touching me it… it makes me feel like a whore, bad, an-and he made me dirty and then… then I’ll be too dirty and you won’t want me anymore, I’ll be… I’ll be too damaged… one more… one more and I’ll collapse.”

“Baek.” Chanyeol gulped and quickly rubbed his tears away, “You can be mad, hell, you can be absolutely livid about everything that has happened to you… but you're… you’re only scared we’re going to leave you? Baekhyun, there’s no way, one kiss doesn’t make you damaged or even remotely dirty- it’s… it's angering, of course, if someone kissed one of us you’d be mad too… but, but… you’re not a whore, and you’re not bad.”

“Stop itching.” Kyungsoo whispered, grabbing Baekhyun's fingers. “Hey, are you listening, sweetheart? You’re not bad, you’re not a whore, or dirty. You’re our baby, and we love you.”

“I was so mad.” Baekhyun growled under his breath, “I’m not… I’m not his and… and he forced- my… my dad forced too… an-and I don’t remember it was all red, and I was crying and- and then laughing, and Hyungs came out and I didn’t know… I just..”

“You had a flashback?” Jongin suggested, “We just want to make sure… you’re okay, Baekhyun. We’re not… pushing anything on you, or thinking anything but that we want to make sure you’re safe in your own head, baby. And… and it doesn’t seem that way sometimes, like… like you don’t really care what happens to you and that’s not safe and it’s not okay. Do you understand, my baby?”

“M-my head isn’t safe.” Baekhyun cried softly, no real sobbing or noise other than sniffs, “I need medicine.”

“You don’t, baby.” Kyungsoo argued, intertwining his hand with the younger but being careful not to overly coddle him, “You just need to talk more, okay? Your mind can’t be filled with unsafe thoughts if you’re speaking them aloud and they can be forgotten.

We don’t talk very much these days, and that’s on all of us, but we want you to understand; we need you to understand what’s… the truth and what’s… a flashback, it’s hard, and we know that, but… but you can’t always be scared in your own mind, baby. Where else would you have some silence?”

Baekhyun licked his bottom lip before glancing at Chanyeol, face red and eyes bloodshot both from the alcohol hours before and crying. “You.. you told me I was exhausting… whe-when we fought. I-I… didn't really… really know why until after I talked to Soo and Nini later… bu-but… my dad he used to-uh.. he used to say I was hard to… hard to love because I wanted too much attention. But I didn’t… never really understood why because I never wanted his attention… just… anything soft- I wanted, I guess.”

Chanyeol's whole expression was pained and he truthfully didn’t know what to tell the younger. It was hard to deal with things like this when the three of them had perfectly normal childhoods.

Sure, Jongin was a player, Chanyeol has a temper and Kyungsoo got a little pushed around, but for the most part… nothing so horrible, or serious. They couldn’t lie and say they could relate, but… they needed to find ways to let Baekhyun know they could… somewhat understand.

“I just… I just wanted some love, and… and I think that’s why I got so scared… becau-because I thought you weren’t going to love me anymore, or… or be nice.

Same with… with Jiyong I think as soon as I get into a situation I think I’m not going to be wanted or cared for, it makes me upset… I’m sorry. I can’t.. I can’t control it.” Baekhyun stuttered into the silence.

“Don’t you know that we would never not love you or not care for you?” Jongin reached out to pull Baekhyun to his chest, uncaring if they would scold him- they weren’t, the other two were thinking of doing the same thing. “You could scream at me and say you didn’t want to be with me and I’d still follow you around making sure you didn’t so much as trip over your own feet, kitten.” He cooed making Baekhyun let out a watery laugh, digging his nose into the elders chest.

“I should have been more understanding… at the time.” Chanyeol mumbled, almost a shocked tone as if still thinking over Baekhyun’s admission. “I knew you were abused, I knew you were ridiculed, Baek. I just… I know we’re okay now, more than okay, but… sweetheart, you could have called me out on the spot. Made me feel like shit, told me horrible things, but… you didn’t. You told me you loved me everytime I asked, everytime I annoyed you and still you were already ready to tell me that you still loved me.

God, Baekhyun. It’s because you still wanted me to love you too? You just wanted to hear me say it? Hyung is sorry, baby. Come here, sweetheart. You don’t need to go through… so much doubt, anger, and pain, we’ll always love you, Baek. Why else would we be made soulmates?”

Baekhyun took the opportunity quickly, crawling down to the bench at the end to get pulled into a warm chest, curling up into a ball into the heat. “Used to think you guys were better off together.” He whispered with a watery smile as Chanyeol used the edge of the blanket to clean the tear tracks.

“Oh, yeah? And who was the romantic soulmate, hm? If not you then nobody.” Jongin teased, looking much better when Baekhyun wasn’t crying.

“Soo.” The youngest laughed quietly, “Soo, because I felt like you guys loved him a lot.”

Kyungsoo snorted at that, “As if, sweet pea. You wouldn’t catch me kissing either of them- been there, remember? Ugh, disgusting. You’re way prettier. There’s no way it wasn’t you, personally, I don’t even know how you love either of them.”

“Okay, just saying I’m offended as shit.” Jongin scoffed, “Dude, I picked you as my best friend in like… 3rd grade and saved your ass from bullies so get off my back you nerd.”

“I’m not even going to fake offense.” Chanyeol shrugged, pulling the blanket off the bed to shove into Baekhyun's lap like he knew the younger liked the comfort after talking about serious things. “Baek is way better looking, better kisser. Our cute baby.”

Baekhyun laughed quietly at the teasing, pulling the blanket up to his nose. “I think you’re all better looking! Better kissers, and technically you probably are kissing them too!”

Kyungsoo fake gagged playfully, “Why’d you put it like that, sugar? Now I won’t be kissing you after you’re kissing them, gross!” He teased, obviously joking.

“You’re not saying you’re disgusted when we’re all touching Baekhyun, foursomes are so your style, Hyung.” Jongin added, groaning in pain at Kyungsoo punching his arm.

“I’ll beat the shit out of you. Don’t act like you’re ever focused on anything but Baekhyun during sex anyways.”

In response, Jongin only shrugged and made a face of agreement.

Baekhyun laughed at the two before grabbing Chanyeol's chin and pressing a long open mouthed kiss to his husband's mouth. Obviously playing up a show, separating with a giggle and a playful lick to the seam of Chanyeol's mouth, the elder too dazed at the sudden attack to do anything.

“Kyungsoo Hyung! Morning kisses!” Baekhyun laughed mischievously, jumping back into the bed, “Soo Soo! Kiss me!”


	52. Numbing Realization

Jisung giggled, wiggling his feet as he dangled from Luhan’s arm. “Hyung back!”

“That’s right, you brat! Hyung is back to boss you around!” Luhan exclaimed.

Baekhyun snorted at the two, watching Yixing wrap Taeyongs leg.

“I gotted hurt!”

“Ugh, Baek, translate please!” Luhan laughed, swinging the baby around like Jisung hadn’t just eaten a whole plate of oats.

“He had food poisoning for a few days.” Baekhyun explained, accepting the kiss Chanyeol placed onto his cheek happily. “Huh, Jisungie? Belly ache?”

The baby nodded, lips pursing in a fake pout, “Hyung fix.”

“That’s right, munchkin. Baekhyunnie fixed our baby.” Yixing chirped, stepping away from the teenager, “You can walk on it, unless it reopens then you should be good.”

“You gonna tell us what happened or are we going to ignore your limp?” Yifan teased, ignorant to the shared looks from the others as he patted Taeyong’s arm.

Taeyong frowned, pushing his hair out of his face and looking guilty. “I killed Lizzie.”

Baekhyun stiffened, sure the little girl was odd, but did she deserve to die? He wasn’t sure.

“She tried to attack him.” Sehun defended quietly into the silence, “She was… deranged, and dangerous. Taeyong didn’t mean to, so if you’re going to be upset- be upset with us, not him.”

Baekhyun didn’t know if he was talking to him or Yifan, because he kept looking back and forth. And, truthfully, Baekhyun wasn’t upset, he hadn’t really known the girl, only that she was crazy.

He could still remember her walking through the blood he was coughing up without blinking or it even occurring to her that she should get Yixing to help him.

But for some reason… Baekhyun was angry.

Taeyong was fourteen years old, Lizzie was only twelve, neither of them should be in such a situation to begin with.

It was a painful feeling, like a knife stabbing between his ribs.

All his life he had only wanted to take care of Taeyong, prevent him from further abuse, prevent him from the horrors that can be afflicted on him at such a young age, shield him from growing up.

But this new world stole everything he had worked so hard for, created a whole new set of morals and dilemmas Baekhyun was forced to consider.

He had saved Taeyong from some things, from sexual abuse, emotional abuse, maybe it could have escalated into physical abuse, but Baekhyun still felt like he hadn’t done enough.

What if he had only taken Taeyong away when he turned eighteen? Applied for custody, went to the police, would things be better? Was it his fault that Taeyong had to experience these things? Or, an even darker thought was whether it was his soulmate's faults.

It was ridiculous to think things from the past could have influenced future results, as if Baekhyun having went to get help for his abuse would have changed that the fucking world ended, but these were the sort of things he thought about and considered.

Would things be different if he hadn’t been so fucked up and could have spent more time with his brother, taught and listened to him more often?

Was it his fault Taeyong had gone cold? Killing an innocent boy so many months ago?

Lizzie wasn’t innocent, he realized that, but could there have been a better outcome if he was simply there for Taeyong.

He couldn’t change a thing, and maybe that was why he was so, so extremely distraught, but if anyone deserves to have such horrible events happen to them it was him, not Taeyong.

Taeyong, who never knew his own mother. Taeyong, who used to pick flowers because he thought they looked lonely. Taeyong, who was probably the best thing to have ever happened to Baekhyun, but the worst at the same time, because it made him responsible for the younger, and he never regretted anything- ever, but… so many things could have been much easier if he didn’t feel so much responsibility and love Taeyong so much that he felt he only kept causing the younger pain, unneeded pain.

“Baek…” Yifan whispered gently, and Baekhyun hadn’t even noticed everyone was staring at him, various degrees of concern, but he swore the look the leader sent him was of fear, not concern. “Baekhyun, are you alright?”

God, the question was fucking ridiculous, so ridiculous in fact that Baekhyun laughed, a crazy, wet laugh as he leaned over his lap, running his palms over his face, and he had no fucking clue what to do, what to say, because nothing could save his brother from anymore pain, only add to it.

“Hyung, why are you crying?” Taeyong whispered, the sound of his chair creaking as he sat up, leg raised onto the footrest.

Baekhyun was so fucked. Everytime he so much as heard Taeyongs voice it made him shake.

“Hyungie, why do you cry?” He used to ask so often, Baekhyun cradling himself in the middle of the bathroom, the kitchen, anything to have time to himself, but Taeyong always found him somewhere, somehow, delivering a sweet smile and looking so confused that it physically pained Baekhyun.

Because Taeyong used to be innocent, even if he didn’t know it, he used to be sweet and kind, and here he was having to kill for Baekhyun, kill for himself, for his family.

“Hyung got hurt, my heart hurts.” Baekhyun used to explain, because Taeyong was a child and he never understood.

But it always somehow surprised the elder when his tiny, small brother threw himself to the floor and laughed, “Kiss it better, Hyungie, I’ll make it better.”

It never made things better, a few kisses didn’t do much other than cheer him up momentarily, if kisses really did fix things then he was positive he would have been fucking brand new with how much affection he is given.

But no, he still was crazy, absolutely fucking crazy and he couldn’t control himself. Maybe Yixing was right to have been concerned he would kill himself back in the prison, roughly a year ago by now, because sometimes he just couldn’t… deal, because he had no idea how, but the thought never crossed his mind so strongly, he never found himself contemplating suicide, it was more unconscious, a nightmare that had him scratching up his skin, a shadow that was too close to his door, things that normal people wouldn’t be concerned about.

But fuck it scared him so badly, just like when he looked at Taeyong.

“Tae.” He cried, more of a wail and even the large hand resting warmly on his spine and the soft noises of concern around the room didn’t feel like anything. “Fuck, I’m so sorry, I’m fucking sorry. I can’t- I haven’t done enough and I-I can’t do this anymore.”

It was silent for three beats before he was being moved into someone lap, seeking the warmth he immediately curled into a ball, forehead pressed to knees as he panted and his lungs fucking hurt, but this wasn’t a panic attack. If anything, it was only karma for being a fucked up person who couldn’t even protect their brother despite being ten years older.

“Baekhyun, hey, it wasn’t your fault. If anything… if anything it’s our fault, okay? We left him alone with her, it’s our fault. We promised to take care of him and we didn’t even do that, don’t cry, baby.” Chanyeol was soothing in his ear, a second pair of hands touching his skin of his neck, but he didn’t feel better, if anything he felt worse.

Because his soulmates were fucking perfect, but they were absolute shit at telling him the truth. He wanted them to just tell him what he believed, reaffirm his thoughts because it was easier for him to do that rather than have to process their words.

He always concluded the same things anyways, that he was a fucking monster and he was incompetent, horrible in the most extreme sense, a burden.

And they were forced to deal with it because fate made it so, Taeyong was forced to deal because genetics made it so, and Yifan, Luhan, Yixing… everyone else was forced to deal with it because guilt made it so.

“Hyung… I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m fine. Xing Hyung just said i'm fine. A day and I’ll be able to run, what are you talking about? I love you.” Taeyong was still sweet, and it still hurt just as much.

“Hyung sad?” Baekhyun heard Jisung ask, a pout he could clearly picture on the toddlers face, and, again, he didn’t feel much better having completely forgotten the baby was in the room or he would have just ran down the hall to scream into silence until someone came and burst his bubble and made him feel even worse.

“Baekhyun, babydoll, there’s no reason to cry, are you mad? You can be mad at us, baby. We didn’t do as promised, so you can get upset and do whatever you want, we won't stop you or anything, just please, don’t cry.” Jongin requested, his soulmate always so soft with him and he usually loved it, loved to know he was always on his side, but Baekhyun felt like it was mainly to calm him down because he must look so scary, scaring the baby and Taeyong.

“We’ll…we’re gonna go upstairs.” Sehun coughed like he was uncomfortable, and Baekhyun suspected one of his soulmates was shooing them off anyways.

“Baekhyun, babe-“

Baekhyun sniffed loudly, sitting up quickly and almost headbutting Chanyeol on accident, immediately turning to climb off his soulmates lap.

“Hyu-“ Taeyong’s confusion was cut off as Baekhyun threw himself almost over the top of him, the elder curling up to his brothers side and feeling more upset that the younger was almost bigger than him, lost time always seemed to remind him that he never paid attention to Taeyong enough, never did enough.

Wrapping his arms around Taeyong's shoulders, Baekhyun was practically sobbing into his hair, not ugly, loud wailing, but an equally devastating painful noise.

“Hyung is sorry, s-orry, I’ll do better. T-Tae, I’ll do better.”

Taeyong frowned over Baekhyun's shoulder, looking extremely confused and sending his brothers soulmates weary glances, but they looked just as distraught and confused as he felt.

“Hyung, I really… I have no idea what you’re crying about, I’m fine… everyone is completely fine. Except you.”

Taeyong always had a way of meaning to calm someone down, but always adding to the sting instead.

“Baekhyun, come here.” Kyungsoo ordered firmly, but calmly as he sat on the arm of the chair Baekhyun had smashed himself in with Taeyong. “Baby, there’s no reason to cry, it’s nobody’s fault. If anything we should have watched Tae better, but he's gotten so old, love, he can take care of himself too.”

Baekhyun didn’t want to blame them. It was easier to blame himself when he realized his own flaws and overlooked everyone else’s.

The rational part of his brain wanted him to realize Taeyong was in fact a teenager, but in this world being a teen was basically giving him the rationality of an adult given his experiences in life. But the irrational part just kept telling him that this was his kid brother and that it was his fault for not going after him when he had the chance- for wanting to kill the Governor so badly it costed him days of separation from Taeyong and his soulmates and the loss of more innocence he wanted his brother to keep.

Killing people wasn’t the loss of innocence Baekhyun referred too. No. The loss of innocence was being alone, which was obviously what had occured because had anyone else been there Taeyong wouldn’t have had to shoot Lizzie, the other person would have.

Being alone was much harder than killing people, Baekhyun knew this first hand because he was alone even when he was surrounded, he was alone in his head everyday. Even when he was being loved, when he was laughing, when he received kisses and the sweetest of words flowing in his ears- he was alone, but he didn’t want Taeyong to be.

“I-can’t- Taeyong… you can't- don’t-“

His muffled cries were too much, he couldn't utter any words or even explain himself, he was hopeless too, because there was nothing that could make this better.

So, he was trying to pull himself together because he looked ridiculous, there was nothing anyone could say to help him, he couldn’t even help himself let alone anyone else. All Baekhyun was doing now was causing everyone else to worry. And he hated the thought people were wasting emotions on him, that people cared about him when he couldn’t care about himself after everything that has happened to him, that he has done.

Getting up from the chair, he was quick to dodge past hands, stumbling over Jongin's legs that tried to block his way, he couldn’t even hear what they were saying, words sounded muffled and didn’t have any meaning even though he was positive that they were sweet words and they meant the best.

The bathroom was right in front of him, he felt someone twisting the doorknob as soon as he had it shut behind him, the lock sounded loud as he twisted it, even over the begging on the other side of the door, and he really, really didn’t want to hear them anymore.

So he turned the shower on, freezing cold but at least it was loud, and at least it helped him block out his thoughts as he pressed his hands over his ears. With all his clothes on it felt like he was drowning, but it felt good, he only had a matter of time before one of them took down the door, never having time to himself.

But he understood why now, understood a lot more things now. Like why they had taken away his weapons at the prison.

Contumplating suicide wasn’t something he had time to do back then, too busy worrying about not having a nightmare, or how to keep down his food when the medicine churned his stomach, killing walkers at the fence or dealing with animals, seeing his family, getting confessed love to so sweetly for a while he didn’t have to worry.

But he had a lot of time now, a lot of things to think about.

To focus on being held down because all he was was a whore, and he didn’t deserve his soulmates to think otherwise. To focus on how horribly he had raised Taeyong, because his brother did a better job raising himself now than Baekhyun had ever done for him. He shouldn't see Jisung so much, should raise the toddler because he knew how much Jisung loved him, the baby sought him out over everyone, and he didn’t want anything to do with him if it meant he’d turn out just as fucked up as Baekhyun.

Baekhyun who was a burden. Baekhyun who couldn’t do anything right, couldn't protect his own brother, couldn’t protect even himself.

Even when he was constantly being raped every night he didn’t feel like this.

Maybe this was what this new world did to people, brought them down to their knees and forced them to face what they wanted to hide so badly.

Because Baekhyun really wanted to die now. It was a more honourable way to die beside being torn apart by walkers, but he couldn’t even care at this point. Life was too much for him, at least as a walker he didn’t have to feel, he didn’t have to think.

Taeyong would be fine without him, he always was.

His soulmates could move on and maybe, finally be fully happy, find someone who didn’t have nearly as many issues as Baekhyun did.

His family would forget him, and it would be better this way, maybe they would think about him every once in a while, maybe have a day to celebrate him, but even that was more than he deserved.

The door made a loud splintering noise even over the water running cold through his clothes and his hands over his ears. He threw his cheek to the side of the porcelain tub and closed his eyes.

“Fuck, what the fuck are you doing?” Baekhyun didn’t need to open his eyes to see the fear on Chanyeol's face because he could hear it.

His lips formed words, whispering under the water and his soulmates were immediately confused as they frantically tried to find towels while Chanyeol shut off the water.

“What? Babe, fuck, come here, what are you saying?” Chanyeol cried, wrapping his hand around Baekhyun's soaked wrist and pulling one of his hands away from his ears, “Breathe, we’re going to breathe, okay?”

Baekhyun laughed under his breath, barely able to see through his hair matted down by freezing water to his forehead when he opened his eyes, swollen and red because he always cried like a fucking child. “Not- not a panic attack.”

“Take your clothes off.” Kyungsoo threw out as if he hadn't even heard, maybe he didn’t, Baekhyun's voice wasn’t more than a whisper.

“Come here. I got you.” The eldest murmured, eyes huge and frantic as he reached over the side of the tub to grab the smaller.

Baekhyun grabbed his wrist tightly, demanding Chanyeol pay attention to him. “Stop.”

“Baekhyun, you’re going to get sick, get out first and we can talk.” Jongin fussed, a handful of towels in his grip. Baekhyun only felt worse at the amount of fear on his face.

“You love me?” Baekhyun whispered, wiping the water from his eyes with his other hand, “Do you love me?”

“Of course.” Kyungsoo stopped his movement of digging through cabinets to hear the small whispers, “We love you so much, please get out, baby.”

“Need you to do something for me.” The youngest added, letting go of Chanyeol's wrist to lean over his own lap, “Okay?”

Taking the chance quickly, Chanyeol reached over the edge to pull Baekhyun out, immediately setting him between his legs on the bath mat and trying to get his wet clothes off. “Whatever you want, baby, whatever you want.”

Baekhyun felt guilty to even take comfort in how quickly they were trying to get him warm, to prevent a cold. “Need you to take away my gun.” He muttered, curling up in the towels being laid all over him. “I need you to.”

Freezing, his soulmates sat back for a moment, Jongin's hand only continuing to dry his hair as he took a seat on the edge of the tub.

“Because… because I want to kill myself.”

Knees hit the floor and Baekhyun only closed his eyes because he couldn’t see their pain when he couldn’t even face his own.

“Hey… hey, hey, you’re go-going to be okay.” Chanyeol croaked, scrambling to grab Baekhyun's hand, the skin pink and frozen as he pressed his lips down to his husbands ring. “We’ll talk through this, p-please.”

“B-Baekhyun!” Kyungsoo cried and Baekhyun felt his own tears coming back because it reminded him so much of when he was deathly sick. “You always say th-that I’m the most rational, but- but I’m going to lose my goddamn mind, don’t you fucking say that! You can’t leave me, do you understand! I love you, we fucking love you!”

And it was all Baekhyun ever wanted- to be loved. But it turns out being loved didn’t fix things like he once thought. Being loved didn’t change his nightmares or even fix his scars, if anything it caused so many more fears, many more issues because he loved them too.

“My bab-y..” Arms wrapping around his shoulders and Jongin pressed his face into his hair, tightly pulling his husband up against his legs. “Baby, my baby- don’t, y-you’re strong, sweetheart. Hyungs love you- so much.”

“I love you.” Baekhyun's lips trembled, not because of the words, but because he felt so horrible causing them pain when they didn’t deserve to have to deal with it. “It’s not- it’s not enough.”

He heard Chanyeol standing up, a whisper about taking his gun, and Baekhyun heard Kyungsoo's crying.

Kyungsoo was arguably one of the most painful criers, because he never cried unless something was incredibly scary.


	53. Beating Hearts

The storm let up after two days, they would be moving on sometime today, but it was still unnerving.

Well, Baekhyun was unnerved because Yixing kept wanting to speak to him, requesting some kind of therapy but he didn’t know if he wanted that.

Unlike his sexual abuse he wasn’t sure this was something that could be talked about and numbed, what was he to really say?

“Good morning.”

He only tilted his head up for his husband when Jongin went to press a kiss to his mouth, sweetly combing his bangs from his face and trailing his features before kissing at his nose also.

Baekhyun also knew they were purposely watching him every second now, even when he got up to use the restroom someone was waking up like lightning had struck and grabbing his arm asking what he was doing.

It was stupid. If he was going to kill himself he wouldn’t do so where he would turn and put everyone's safety in danger. The thought hadn’t occurred to Baekhyun at all, to kill himself where others were vulnerable.

But it had occurred to him how easy it would be. All he had to do was walk out into the woods, get bitten and allow the fever to take him until he no longer had to breathe, take some of the pills he knew were rationed into everyone’s backpacks as emergency medication. But he would never waste medicine, and it would be fucked up when someone would have to put him down as a walker, they would find him in the woods too quickly.

He wondered if anyone thought he was dramatic for his breakdown, because if Yixing knew it meant they all sat down and spoke about it, likely when he was asleep, and he had never had Taehyung in his business so much before- the younger trailing him like a shadow, arguably worse than Jisung even.

“Are you hungry?” Chanyeol whispered, seated at the edge of the bed and tying his shoes on, “We have pears, baby. Tae saved them for you.”

Stretching, Baekhyun shook his head, curling up on his side and closing his eyes to go back to sleep.

“Too bad, I’ll open them and put them in the living room when you’re ready to get up.” Kyungsoo said gently, rubbing his hand over Baekhyun's cheek before pulling away from the bed. “Eat, love, we have a long walk.”

Baekhyun sighed, kicking the blankets off to roll to the edge of the bed, leaning over to rub his eyes.

“I love you.” The man added, putting his gun in the holster.

“Love you too.” The youngest said immediately, rubbing his palms on his pajama pants before sliding off the bed to press himself against Kyungsoo's chest until the elder wrapped him tightly in his arms, “Good morning.”

Humming, Kyungsoo pressed a kiss to his ear. “Let’s go eat, pack up. Then we can get you changed to go.”

He didn’t really have much of a choice anyways, so he only nodded, searching blindly until Kyungsoo intertwined their fingers together to pull him out.

“Tae Tae!”

The first thing Baekhyun heard was Jisungs screeching, one he only did when Taeyong either wouldn’t play with him, took his snacks, or just overall annoyed the toddler, so Baekhyun didn't really have to guess why Jisung was screaming.

“Get off the couch like that.” Chanyeol scolded, pushing Jisungs shoulder down off the back of the couch and sending Taeyong a scolding look, “Don’t let him climb around.”

The teen only stuck his tongue out at the elder, making Chanyeol snort and roll his eyes.

“Tae, morning.” Baekhyun pulled away from Kyungsoo to attach himself at Taeyongs side, pressing his nose into Taeyong’s cheek.

“Hyung, hi.” The teenager softened up quickly, hugging Baekhyun as if he wasn’t almost taller than the elder and completely wanting to gloat about it.

“Did you eat?” The elder fussed quietly, pulling away to kneel down when he heard excited huffing and scurrying from the couch. “Hi, Jisungie, good morning baby.”

“Hyungie eatted fruit!” Jisung rattled, tiny hands curling into Baekhyun's shirt, “Didn’t share!” He tattled.

“Liar.” Taeyong snorted, plopping back down into his chair and grabbing a comic from the table, “You’re just upset I won’t let you destroy my comics!”

“I’ll share with you, baby.” Baekhyun cooed, curling up on the side of the couch, “You want your own books? Hyungs can find you some.”

“Mimi has me book!” Jisung giggled, making grabby hands that Baekhyun had to move out of the way as Jongin brought a can of fruit over.

At the mention of Sunmi, Baekhyun only nodded and licked his lips, they had been waiting for the baby to notice her absence, but Baekhyun had been hoping it wasn’t them that had to explain to Jisung that she wouldn’t come back.

“Bite.” Baekhyun murmured, feeding Jisung a bite. “Hyung will find you new ones.” He promised, rubbing Jisungs cheek with his thumb.

The baby smiled brightly, shaking his head and getting juice from the fruit all over his chin. “Noona bring me!”

“Jisung, Noona isn’t coming back.” Taeyong said firmly, a growl in his voice. “She’s fucking dead, I told you.”

“Hey!” Chanyeol called over the back of the couch, “He's a baby, Taeyong, don’t say it like that.”

The teenager rolled his eyes, tossing his comic into his lap, “What do you want me to say, Hyung? Tell him that at least she’s not turning into one of those monsters crawling in the dark waiting to tear him up? She’s dead, and that’s better than being a walker.”

Taeyong was always an aggressive child, sweet and cute when he wanted, but always seemingly stuck in his opinions unless something could forcefully kick the thoughts away. But he still had so much to understand and learn. The difference between a baby and children his age was one, because he didn’t really see the point in beating around the bush with Jisung, and it was something Baekhyun both appreciated and didn’t like.

“Don’t say that, bug.” Baekhyun said softly, feeding Jisung so the baby really had no idea what was happening, “He’s almost three, he doesn’t understand like we do. You need to be gentler, he doesn’t even understand what dying is.”

“Yes he does.” Taeyong snorted, leaning forward. “Jisungie, when you die, what happens?”

Baekhyun furrowed his brows, ready to yell at Taeyong for even asking the baby such a thing when Jisung squealed and climbed off his lap to stand up, bouncing slightly on the cushions, “Monster! Grrr, monster bite!”

“Good job, Hyung is proud.” The teenager smirked as if accomplished.

“Hey, sit down,” Jongin growled at Jisung before snatching him up over the back of the couch and only causing the baby to laugh louder. “Bug, you can’t just train him like he’s a dog or something. Just because he says he understands doesn’t mean he does.”

Taeyong didn’t really care, shrugging and yawning as he stood up. “Yeah, well, he’ll have to learn eventually. Going to shower, I’ll pick up my comics before we go.”

They knew the teenager had good intentions, that he cared much more than he showed. Especially about people, he could pretend all he wanted that he didn’t care about anyone- them included, but he would always be the scrawny twelve year old that would cry if they didn’t carry him around because he used to be so tiny, opposite to his towering and muscle now.

Taeyong thought he was good at pretending, but there was no faking how soft he would get when anyone of them showed him attention, or how quick he was to run to Baekhyun for his approval everytime he did something he thought was praiseworthy.

The way the teen followed closely with searching eyes and a hand on his knife even just walking alongside the baby inside the prison was just an addition to Taeyongs protectiveness, even if he needed to work on being gentle because Taeyong really didn’t know how to phrase things nicely.

“Eat up, babe.” Chanyeol sighed, taking the teens place and going through the stack of comics on the side table, “Daddy will carry you if you get tired though.” He added with a smirk.

Baekhyun just about choked on his food, coughing before whining and burying his face in his knees, “Shut up!”

“Dada! Daddy, daddy!” Jisung chirped, wrapping his arms around Jongin's neck.

Chanyeol widened his eyes and covered his face when the others snickered at his mistake, his turn to be embarrassed.

“Nini, Dada!”

“No, baby, I’m not your dad, Sungie. Remember? Your mom and dad were super nice!” Jongin cooed, seating himself down in the middle of the couch and patting Baekhyun's shoulder with a laugh.

Jisung huffed, confused, “Dada, no.”

“You don’t remember?” Jongin frowned, watching the baby sprawl himself over the empty cushion to his right.

“I mean, it’s been so long. Babies don’t really remember that much.” Kyungsoo said with a sigh, sitting on the table in front of the couch with a cup of coffee in his hand. Baekhyun hated that powdered shit, he would kill for some brewed coffee these mornings. “Jisung, we take care of you, but we’re your Hyungs, not your dad.”

Jisung didn’t understand, and they didn’t expect him too, but it didn’t stop him from crawling across Jongin's lap with a cute giggle and pulling at Baekhyun's sleeve. “Dad!”

“No.” Baekhyun snapped his head up quickly and pulled his arm away at amazing speeds with wide eyes, “No. Don't call me that.”

“Baek-“

“Dad!” Jisung smiled sweetly, opening in closing his hands in Baekhyun's direction and struggling over Jongin's arm, “Dad! Up!”

“Don’t say that.” Baekhyun whispered, covering his ears, “He’s not your dad, he wouldn’t treat you like this.”

“What are you talking about?” Jongin frowned, “Hyung, take Jisung.” He added, passing the baby in front of him to Kyungsoo.

“He wouldn’t. It’s bad, bad Baekhyun, it’s bad.” Baekhyun murmured, breathing catching up as he dropped his forehead to his pulled knees, “Not your dad, doesn’t take care of you.”

“Baby, gorgeous, you’re okay. He’s a baby, he doesn’t understand.” Jongin soothed, pulling Baekhyun's curled up form to lay in his lap, “Jisung doesn’t understand. You’re okay, sweetheart.”

“I’m not a dad.” Baekhyun said firmly, burying his nose into his soulmate's abdomen, “I’m not, i'd never.”

“Shh, you’re not your dad.” Chanyeol said worriedly, leaning over his lap on the chair in their direction like he was ready to jump over. “You’re worried about that? It worries you? We know you’d never turn out like that, Baekhyun. You or Taeyong, never.”

“Don’t want to hurt people.” The younger sniffed, mouth contorting in a frown, “I don’t want to hurt people.”

“You could never hurt people, because you know real hurt, sweetness. You never hurt anyone you love, so you shouldn’t worry about it, okay? You could never hurt Jisung, or Tae, me, Yixing… any of us.”

Baekhyun frowned and moved onto his back to look up at Jongin's, licking his dry lips and searching with shaking hands for the others fingers. “I could… I could only hurt you if I died, right?”

There wasn’t much to say, because it would be lying if he said it wouldn’t hurt them, because they would be extremely hurt. And if there was one thing Baekhyun had to put high in his list of things that scared him, hurting someone he loved was at the top.

It was evident in the way he immediately started crying with the lack of response, because he couldn’t promise anything, he couldn’t promise he wouldn’t hurt anyone, and he couldn’t promise he would try to live because he hated to live right now.

“We love you,” Chanyeol offered, expression pained because Baekhyun was such a sad crier and it happened so often it only hurt more that it made them feel like horrible soulmates because they couldn’t prevent the tears. “We can’t ask you for anything, because we know you try so hard. But I’m going to ask you to try anyways, because I’m selfish and I can’t handle it- so, so I’m going to make you feel horrible and tell you that I’ll be absolutely devastated and hurt if you died because I fucking love you, and I’m selfish as fuck and you know it.”

He phrased it so panicky, but also so aggressively Baekhyun had to laugh despite his words having the desired effect and making him feel extremely guilty.

“We are married, you can’t take the easy way out, baby.” Jongin cooed, leaning over to press his forehead to Baekhyun's temple, “We know it’s easier for you, or you think it is, but we love you too much to just let you, okay? So we’re going to be the worst kind of people and ask you to keep having nightmares and to… to keep yourself with us because when you wake up, we will be right there.”

“What… What if my nightmares are when I’m awake?” Baekhyun sobbed, “What if they’re… right here, with me.”

“Then you get over it.”

Baekhyun gulped and turned to look towards the doorway at his brother with a towel around his shoulders. “Because it’s fucking selfish of you to just leave me here! Because you think we don’t need you, but we do, and I’ll never forgive you, Hyung. I swear I’ll never forgive you if you do something stupid and leave us here.”

“You know, there’s a thousand ways you can phrase things, but you always seem to say them in the rudest of ways.” Kyungsoo pushed the teens shoulder with a roll of his eyes as he came in from down the hall.

“It always works though.” Taeyong argued, sliding down against the wall and pulling up his pant leg to look at his calf, it was mostly just a red mark now, slightly tender but nothing like before. “Everywhere is a nightmare now, I understand Hyung has seen much more, done much more than I can think of, but… don’t we all have to face nightmares these days?

The prison… it was nice for a while, but I think it gave everyone too much hope. Hope of a home, hope of a better future, but… the truth is that I never had that hope, I wanted to, sure, but I realize the closest we can get to having hope is maybe finding food, keeping each other safe. Hyung doesn’t get to take the easy way out if we don’t either.”

“You don't understand half of what you think you do.” Baekhyun mumbled, red eyes staring at Taeyong without any anger, “You never knew how things were, you only got to see what I allowed you too. These walkers… I could face a thousand of them over just one- two people, you have nightmares, but I’m sure mine are so much worse.”

“I know that.” Taeyong deflated like a balloon, wrapping his arms around his waist and looking like his facade slipped as soon as Baekhyun opened his mouth, because he always loved Baekhyun despite how harsh he always was on him, it was obvious to everyone but his elder brother how much Taeyong really appreciated him. “I know, Hyung. And… I- I don’t know what to tell you, okay? But if Yeol Hyung can be selfish and say he doesn’t want you to go anywhere then I can too. I didn’t understand… half of the things in your journal when I read it, I don’t understand much of what happened at Woodbury to you even though Yixing Hyung explained, but… can’t you just… I don’t know, is it too much for me to say I want you to get over it just so you don’t go anywhere? It sounds mean, I know, I always sound mean when I talk to you, but it’s… it's just because I get worried, because I don’t want to be without you.”

“Yeah, well.” Baekhyun gulped back tears, throwing his arm over his eyes. “I hope you don’t ever need to understand. I feel like I’ve died a thousand lifetimes and yet my heart keeps beating, is it really too selfish of me to want my heart to make up its mind and either stop feeling or stop beating?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I meant to post this yesterday, but got completely sidetracked tracked with other things... whoopsssss


	54. Anger

“Are you supposed to have that?”

Baekhyun laughed softly, continuing to cut up an apple, “Are you supposed to be my guard dog?”

He heard the deep laughter and footsteps pushing closer before Taehyung took his seat beside the crate Baekhyun was leaning over. “Woof.”

It made the elder laugh genuinely, eyeing over the few sleeping bags to make sure he hadn’t woken anyone up with the sound.

They had been on the road a few days, and still not much of any walkers, surprisingly, but Baekhyun was always on edge even when they were at the prison, so he wasn’t getting his hopes up.

“Really though.” Taehyung smiled prettily, reaching out to pry the knife from Baekhyun's fingers, “I’ll do it, Hyung.”

Rolling his eyes playfully, Baekhyun huffed and tucked his hands into his hoodie pocket, nose cold from the morning air. At least it smelled better than the air of the prison, he mused. “Not gonna you know, go awol and stab myself, what a painful way to go.”

“Yeah, let's not risk it. Who knows what a dull blade and a mental patient with severe posttraumatic stress disorder can do.”

Baekhyun laughed, covering his mouth with his sleeves to stifle the noise.

He always appreciated that about Taehyung, that he either was super blatant, or always made a joke out of something. It was nice when someone wasn’t questioning if he was okay if he so much as stopped to dig in his backpack. Taehyung worried very obviously, showed his emotions very blatantly, and it was comforting even if he had been shadowing Baekhyun for days.

“You know, you saved my life once.” Taehyung added again nonchalantly, pushing the chunks of slightly under ripe fruit towards Baekhyun.

The elder furrowed his brows in confusion, “When?” He wondered, pushing up his sleeve to grab one, motioning for the other to grab a piece.

“Back when we first ran into you guys. When I had stolen Taeyongs ammo and a gun that didn’t even fit with the ammo because I had zero idea about guns and Luhan is the worst teacher.” He snorted, smiling when Baekhyun giggled at the memory. “You gave me your knife at the time, and your ankle was all fucked up, remember?”

“It was only a knife.” Baekhyun argued with a smile, “You were fine, kicking walkers heads in and what not.”

Taehyung snickered, “Yeah, sure, but those roads were infested, when we were cleaning out the church a walker came right at me- your knife saved my life. Everyone was distracted at the time, and I don’t even know that anyone would have risked their own life for me back then, I was only a stranger, they would have had no reason too. So your knife quite literally saved me, you saved me.”

It was true nobody would have helped at the time, probably. They were all good people, sure, but back then nobody really had an idea who Taehyung was, and he didn’t have a connection like Luhan did- being Sehun's soulmate gave him a quick bunch of trust, but Taehyung… he had to earn his place.

Baekhyun never really spoke to Taehyung as much as he used to on the road, at the prison he had way too many things to worry about and mainly focused on his soulmates and brother, so it never occurred to him Taehyung would remember a thing from so long ago, even if Baekhyun considered the man family now.

“Why do you remember that? I mean… like, why does it matter now? It was almost three years ago,” Baekhyun pursed his lips, spinning his chunk of apple between his fingers.

Taehyung shrugged, stabbing the core of the apple with the knife, “I mean… I just, I hate that you were so nice to me.”

Baekhyun's expression quickly went amused, “You want me to be mean to you, Taehyung?”

“I mean, I hate that you were so nice, but you keep getting fucked up shit happening.” The younger corrected, sighing and leaning his palms back on the dewed grass. “Everyone knows, you know, I know, so there’s no point in pretending to not know. But… I’m not going to just ignore it and bug the shit out of you like everyone else, I’m going to help you, like you helped me.”

“Taehyung… this isn’t… this isn’t just something giving me a knife could fix.”

“Bet you’d like that though.” Taehyung joked, reaching out to fix the hood over Baekhyun's head, “Okay, seriously though, I’m going to help you. This is such bullshit, anyone else here deserves what has happened to you much more than you do, but it always seems to catch up to you, resonate with you. And that’s unfair, so if you ever need something, you come to me- I’m not gonna… give you some psych exam like Yixing Hyung, or freak out like your soulmates, get aggressive like Taeyong, that little shit.”

Baekhyun laughed, and the sound was wet like he was crying even though he had no reason to be, “Taeyong is something.”

“Ugh, the worst at feelings.” Taehyung cried dramatically, “He straight stepped on my foot last time I tried to hug him, fucking rude, that little shithead. And Jungkook only laughed and ran off to read comics with him, some soulmate, right? How do you deal!”

“I don’t deal, I just ignore.” Baekhyun teased, obviously lying as he pulled his lip between his teeth with quite laughter.

Taehyung only beamed boxily, like he had accomplished something, “Soulmates are something.”

“Jungkook is a good kid.” The elder smiled as Taehyung reached out for his hand. “He used to be so scrawny back when I met him, but I guess I was the same way.”

“You’re still tiny.” The younger smirked, swinging Baekhyun's hand in the air with a smile, “Sehun just calls you tiny Hyung sometimes, how offensive.”

“Are you flirting!”

Baekhyun startled at the noise before relaxing and snorting as he pulled Taehyung's hand closer to him, “Yup! Taehyung is much better looking than you!”

Arms wrapped around his waist and picked him up quickly making him squeal and laughing much louder than he should when people were sleeping, “My apples!”

“God, you’re ridiculous. Fine, go get your apples and ignore me to flirt.” Kyungsoo snickered, setting Baekhyun down to his feet.

Baekhyun heard the baby sniffling and rolled his eyes, “Go get Jisungie and maybe I’ll give you attention, let me stare at Taehyung a bit longer.”

“Oh god, please stop before Chanyeol Hyung gets up.” Taehyung whined, hopping up, “He'll probably kill me, Baek Hyung.”

Baekhyun only laughed as Taehyung dramatically jogged back towards his sleeping bag, immediately waking up Jungkook with his loudness.

“Should I be worried?” Kyungsoo teased, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's ear when he collected his apple chunks and began to walk towards where Jisung was sitting up in a blanket with confused whimpers.

“Very worried.” The younger giggled, offering an apple to his husband's lips, “Taehyung is very good looking, Hyung. I just might get a crush.”

“Chanyeol will really kill him.” The elder snorted, accepting the apple and patting Baekhyun's spine.

“Ah, don’t cry.” Baekhyun cooed, moving to sit cross legged at the end of his sleeping bag where the baby had been curled up warmly, “Jisungie, my baby, don’t cry.”

Jisung stuck his lip out, cheeks puffy and hair sticking up. “Potty.”

“You had an accident?” Baekhyun soothed quickly, “That’s okay, we need to get our baby potty trained quickly, hm? I know you try so hard, but that’s why we have pull ups.” He explained softly, pulling the babies ankle and giving him a piece of apple to chew on while he changed him.

“Got it.” Kyungsoo called, walking towards the pile of backpacks to get the diaper bag.

“Hyung, sorry.”

“It’s okay, we always tell you it’s okay, it happens sometimes.” The elder smiled, apologetic as he had to pull the toddlers pull up and pants off when it was pretty chilly out. “Tell me numbers, I heard you learned so many.”

“A, B, C!”

“Those are letters but I’ll accept it because you’re so smart, Taeyongie didn’t even know his letters till he was four years old!” Baekhyun cried dramatically, holding up the numbers on his fingers because they were trying to get Jisung to understand them more.

“Tae Tae!” Jisung screeched, kicking his legs excitedly.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes playfully, accepting the diaper bag Kyungsoo tossed down, “I know, Jisung only loves Tae Tae even though he’s so mean to the baby. Always stealing Jisungies toys, his snacks, never letting him color on his comics, so mean!”

“You sound more upset than Jisung.” Kyungsoo joked against his ranting.

“Baekhyunnie Hyung was the first to be nice to you!” Baekhyun added in baby talk, tickling Jisungs thigh, “Tell me, ‘Hyungie is so nice!’”

Jisung squealed, curls bouncing against the sleeping bag as Baekhyun quickly switched out his pull up. “Love Hyung!”

Beaming, Baekhyun pulled the baby to stand up so he could slide his stretchy pants back on, shoulders immediately getting sticky with the toddlers half chewed apple, “I love you too, Sungie. Hyung is the most nice to you.”

“Kiss!” Jisung requested, pressing his nose to Baekhyun's, “Mwah!” He cooed, bouncing and slobbering Baekhyun's cheek.

“Oh thank you, so sweet, go get Soo Hyung.” Baekhyun snorted, pushing the baby off the Kyungsoo to get slobbered on when he noticed his soulmate's amusement.

~~~~~~~

Jisung wasn’t hard to watch when they were on the road nearly as much as he was back at the prison. Mainly, because he didn’t have much else to do other than walk maybe a half mile if he had a lot of energy, before the toddler was being strapped into a carrier and sleeping most of the walk, sometimes playing to himself with a stuffed animal.

Baekhyun really liked the carrier because they could make sure the baby wasn’t getting into stuff or running off, but he still felt bad Jisung was mainly sleeping the days away, but it was better than having him crying and awakening everything in a mile radius.

Plus, he thought Chanyeol looked extremely cute with the baby strapped to his back, tiny arms curled up at his shoulder blades.

“Few more miles and then rest?” Yoongi asked, yawning into his palm, “Sky is getting pretty dark.”

“No houses in sight, camping again it seems.” Junmyeon added with a sigh, adjusting his back pack straps.

Baekhyun trudged more towards the back, watching Taeyongs back as the teenager nearly tripped. He had tried to tell Taeyong that reading and walking wasn’t going to work out, but now he was just waiting to rub it in his face and scold him.

“Hello.”

Sighing, Baekhyun smiled nicely at Yixing, “Hyung, hi.”

“You’ve been ignoring me.” Yixing said with a slight laugh, looking unaffected despite sounding annoyed.

“Not really in the mood to be analyzed.” Baekhyun admitted, fiddling with the strings on his pale blue hoodie and looking around for an out.

“Well sometimes we don’t really ask for things to happen and they do, so let’s talk.”

Baekhyun stopped, rubbing his temple and trying to calm down, because he had never purposely been rude to Yixing before because he truly loved the man, but everyone already was watching him like a hawk.

“Look, Hyung. I love you, I do, and I know you’re trying your best to help. But I’m going to tell you this firmly without any sugar coating because everyone fucking knows I’m a walking disaster.”

“Hey, let's keep moving, guys!” Minseok called from the front, confused as he noticed the two stopped.

“I want to die, sure it sounds worse than it really is, but can’t anyone just realize how much easier it would be for me? Fuck, maybe it would even be easier in general for everyone here. You guys don’t deserve to have to live like this- I should’ve been turned in the moment it was offered if only to have possibly saved the prison for you all. It would be so much fucking easier to just give up, I’m tired of not understanding what the fuck is going on!”

“Why does it sound like you’re trying to convince me, Baekhyun? There’s no way in hell any of us are going to agree to let you take an easy way out! Because this is what we do, we fight and we fight for each other even if the other can’t anymore! You can’t let the world spoil you! God-“

Baekhyun had never seen Yixing so mad, and he himself had never felt so mad in so long, and he had no idea why. “There is no god! Last time I prayed to god I was being raped and you know what helped? Nothing! Let’s try not to get mixed up with the almighty anymore, it’s useless!”

“We are life!” Yixing argued, grabbing Baekhyun's backpack strap, “When there’s life, there’s possibility, Baekhyun. You used to understand that, you used to want to keep any humanity you could see! You used to write about flowers growing because you thought they were the most innocent kind of beauty you would see again! Where did that person go?”

“He’s dead!” Baekhyun screamed, “He’s dead and how I wish all of us were too just so we didn’t have to see flowers die along with our friends, because that’s all that comes out of living, we die! You don’t get to make these choices for me, I never said I was going to, I said I wanted to, there’s a difference!”

“Knock it off!” Yifan demanded the two, looking various degrees confused.

“Hey, we need to go guys.” Jongin added, torn between going after his soulmate and letting him scream it out.

“Your dad used to rape you and call you a whore. Then he got himself killed. It’s done. It happened, but you either live with it or it eats you up. I love you. And I’m not letting you die because you can’t face your own demons.” Yixing spat, shaking his shoulders, “Wake up and take care of your brother, your soulmates, yourself!”

Baekhyun gawked in disbelief, ears ringing with his families yelling in the background before he couldn’t handle the anger tearing up his stomach. “Fuck you! Fuck you, Hyung!” He snarled, shoving Yixing back, “You can’t throw shit in my face! I trusted you!”

Before he could even process, he was reaching out and pushing Yixing to the ground, unsure of whether he was intending on screaming at him or hitting him before he was lifted up immediately.

“I hate you! I fucking hate you, Yixing!” Baekhyun screamed, hitting at Sehun's back for the younger to put him down.

“You don't get to give up, Baekhyun!” The medic yelled, pushing Yifan off of him and leaning up in his elbows, “Why don't I just put it all out there! You listen better when everyone is watching!”

“Yixing, shut the fuck up!” Kyungsoo hissed, eyes narrowed as he ran over to Baekhyun.

“Why? Scared I’ll ruin your idea of your soulmate? I only tried to help him, but it’s so exhausting when he doesn’t want anyone’s help, you guys should know!”

“I hate him!” Baekhyun cried, reaching over Sehun's shoulder for Jongin, “Hyung- Hyung!” He was being scooped up immediately, hands trying to soothe him but he was unconsolable.

“Baekhyun doesn’t give a fuck about himself and that’s always been the problem, being told he was useless and good for nothing but sex digs deep when you hear it in your ear as you’re being raped at least five times a week.”

“Yixing!” Yifan screamed, grabbing his soulmate around the waist and trying to shut him up.

“What!” The medic screamed, looking around with tear filled eyes, “You all want to help too, we love him, but do you really know? Do you know what I know? Do you have to hear what I have? It’s unfair, and it was fucked up, but it wasn’t Baekhyun's fault, and if he doesn’t listen to me then he should hear it from everyone else! Nothing I have done has helped except dosing him until barely conscious on drugs, someone else needs to help and it’s obviously not me!”

“You need to shut up, they’re not your secrets to tell.” Chanyeol growled, unable to do anything but allow Taeyong to try and soothe Jisung on his back that was crying in his ear.

Yixing laughed emotionlessly, wiping his face off and pushing Yifan's hands off of him, “You don’t know half the shit you think you do. And you definitely have no room to defend him when your anger scares the shit out of him even when it’s not even towards him. His pain doesn’t go away, he just makes room for it. He’s pretty much dead already, more of a walking puppet pretending everyday.”

“No one should have to go through that.” Jimin called, picking at his holster uncomfortably, “But Hyung, we don’t need to hear these things to be scared for him, we already are, please stop.”

“He doesn’t get to just do that, come into someone’s life, make them care and just check out!” Yixing cried defensively, wrapping his arm around Yifans and crying.

“Isn’t that what we all do?” Taeyong laughed, the sound more of an angry chuckle, rubbing Jisungs hair, “We can’t guarantee we will stay, it’s a guessing game.

Baekhyun Hyung is guessing he’ll leave instead of guessing he’ll stay, is it really so bad when we all check out sooner than we mean to?”

As usual, Taeyong left everyone speechless, because he was always right, and always seemed to say things so confidently there wasn’t much room for arguing anyways.


	55. The End (Or Beginning)

“I love you guys.”

“Yup.” Kyungsoo pursed his lips, turning his body fully away and continuing to skin the rabbit in his hands.

“I’ve known you guys since all this shit went down, I want what’s best for you all.”

“Okay.” Kyungsoo said in an uninterested tone, cringing at the mess he volunteered to do.

“You know I care about everyone here, Baekhyun included, I want him to be okay. And I don’t want him to constantly have to deal with these things anymore.”

Turning around with furrowed brows, Kyungsoo scoffed, “That doesn’t give you the right to say all that shit, you can fish for people to be on your side all you want, but it won’t be me. You had no right to go spilling his secrets like that. Isn’t the whole point of therapy confidentiality and shit?”

“Yeah, well I don’t think it really matters when the world's gone shit and you’re out of options.” Yixing sighed, “And I’m not fishing for agreement, I’m only seeing if you understand why, because you guys are just as desperate as I am- Yifan is even pissed at me and I completely understand why, but… but you also understand why.”

“Chanyeol wants to kill you. Just so you know, don’t go near him or he might just hit you.”

“I’ll completely accept it.” The medic nodded, “But he understands too, even if he’s extremely mad right now. At least… the others have laid off of Baekhyun, give him some time to think.”

Gritting his teeth, Kyungsoo breathed a heavy breath out his nose. “Hearing you say his name right now is even pissing me off, Hyung. He’s been fucking crying all night, even Jisung couldn't cheer him up and he loves the kid, the only person he wants to talk to is Taehyung and I never even thought those two were close until the other morning.”

“I’ll admit… I could have kept some details to myself. He… he wont ever forgive me huh? Hates me that much?” Yixing whispered pathetically, kicking at the dirt.

Kyungsoo glanced at the medic for a second before sighing and leaning into his elbows, “I wouldn’t forgive you, but you know Baekhyun, he’s literally forgiven the people who assaulted him. I don’t know what to tell you honestly, part of me doesn’t even really want to help you. Even we didn’t know some of those things, I’ll admit that much, but… fuck, did you really have to out him like that? You’re lucky I have a level head because Jongin or Yeol… they’d probably have you down by now.”

“Yeah.” Yixing laughed humorlessly, “I kinda want them to hit me. Taeyong just acts like nothing happened and somehow it makes me feel worse, you know?”

Kyungsoo reached down to collect the rabbit, hands bloodied as he stood up. “Don’t worry about what’s gone wrong. Figure out how to make it right.”

“Also.” Kyungsoo spun around with a small shake of his head, “You're a shitty therapist, just so you know. You should be his friend rather than trying to be his doctor.”

~~~~~~~~

“I love you.”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, but still snuggled his face into his husbands collarbone, arms wrapped tightly under Chanyeol's arms. “I know, I love you too.”

“I’ll beat him up if you want.” The elder whispered, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's brow and pulling the blanket more over the back of his head as if to shield him from the others. A useless action when they had zero shelter.

“I don’t think Yifan Hyung would agree to that.” Baekhyun sighed, pressing his cold nose into Chanyeol's neck, “I don’t like violence, you know that.”

“I don’t really care what Yifan likes or not, he seems pretty mad at Yixing too, just so you know.”

“It’s okay.” Baekhyun mumbled, “He’s right, it’s okay. It’s not that big of a deal. I’m over it.”

Chanyeol huffed, tightly wrapping his arms around Baekhyun, “You are the one that hates lying, so why do I find myself picking out so many lies lately, my love?”

“It’s easier.” Baekhyun responded, relaxing into his soulmate's warmth.

Chanyeol made a pained noise, nuzzling his nose into his soulmates hair and cupping the back of his head through the blanket. “I love you, okay? Don’t go anywhere if I’m not there.”

Guiltily, Baekhyun nodded, pressing a kiss to Chanyeol's chest and pressing his cheek down against his heart, “I do love you, I don’t want to leave you.”

“I don’t want you to feel bad for wanting to leave.” The elder admitted, voice a mere whisper into Baekhyun's hair, “But if you go, then you should know I won’t be so far behind, because you and I are both selfish, and… and I am way weaker than Kyungsoo and Jongin, okay? And I can’t, I won’t live a single day if I can’t have you with me. I’m not giving you permission, of course I’m fucking not, I want you to live, but I want it to be with me and I won’t have it any other way, do you understand me?

I’m possessive, I get angry fast, and I’m probably the most selfish son of a bitch for even telling you such things, but I am not telling you that it’s okay if you give up. I want you to understand that, I only want you to know that I can’t fight if I have nothing to fight for, not when I know Kyungsoo and Jongin will continue to fight for Taeyong and Jisung for us both, and Sehun is all grown up, he doesn’t need me anymore.”

“I need you.” Baekhyun sniffed, curling up as close he could when he was already straddled as close as he possibly could get to the elder, “Hyung, I need you so much.”

“I know, and that’s why me and you come back to each other even when we fight so much.” Chanyeol teased, eyes watery at his husband's sniffling. “Huh, baby? We’re just crazily obsessed with each other.”

Laughing wetly, Baekhyun pulled his head back to tilt his head up to the elders, pretty smile despite his eyes looking dull. “Kiss me, Hyung.”

Baekhyun would never be denied such a thing, ever.  
So Chanyeol was capturing his lips between his quickly, sucking his bottom lip into his mouth.

The younger sighed softly, cold hand coming to cup Chanyeol's jaw with a needy noise. If they weren’t so exposed, Baekhyun probably would be asking the elder to make love to him right this second, a bit of reassurance he didn’t know he needed right now. Such a small show of affection went such a long way.

Nibbling at Chanyeol's lip, Baekhyun pulled away with a small pout, pressing his temple to his husband's cheek and rubbing his thumb over his pulse softly.

“I want you to smile.” The elder whispered gently, turning his head to press barely there kisses to his cheek, “I want to see your pretty smile, baby.”

“I want you to smile too.” Baekhyun chirped, licking his chapped lips, “I’m sorry I always make you sad.”

“I’m not sorry I love you so much.” Chanyeol shot back making the younger giggle, smiling prettily and in turn making the elder feel much better. “Really though, you don’t make me sad, babe. I feel sad when you are, but that doesn’t mean it’s your fault.”

“I exhaust you.” The younger whispered, pressing apologetic kisses to the corner of Chanyeol's mouth, small fingers roaming his soulmate's neck like it comforted him to do so.

“You don’t.” Chanyeol disagreed immediately, “You aren’t exhausting, sweetheart. We don’t care how long it takes, we’re going to make sure you feel happy, even if it only earns us a smile a day, even if you have some bad days and we end up fighting, because you deserve it so much more than any of us here.”

“You’re so biased.” Baekhyun giggled, his smile only spreading against Chanyeol's skin.

“Oh, I’m extremely biased when it comes to you.” Chanyeol admitted with a deep laugh, “Baekhyunnie is the sweetest, Baekhyunnie is the prettiest, the nicest, th-“

“Stop!” The younger snorted, laughing and covering Chanyeol's mouth with a blush, “Hyung! So embarrassing!”

Chanyeol only beamed, cupping Baekhyun's head to bring their noses together.

~~~~~~~~

Walking alongside Taeyong, Baekhyun wrung his wrist out, the muscle sore as if having slept oddly, but for some reason he just felt horrible in general, so maybe it was just his anxiety presenting itself.

He didn’t want to be on the road forever, not how they had spent months before finding a prison. Sure, they were much better equipped now, and he actually had good shoes, but they had a baby now, and truthfully it was exhausting even though everyone pitched in.

Probably because Jisung could only handle so much of everyone else before he was crying for one of them, usually him, Taeyong, his soulmates and Yifan or Yixing, but it only made his ears ring when the baby cried, set him on edge even though they had only encountered a few walkers a mile or so back.

“Hyung, this is going to sound stupid as shit.” Taeyong whispered, bumping his shoulder to Baekhyuns with a shy expression.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes because Taeyongs hair was ridiculous at this point, but he wasn’t allowing anyone to cut it despite knowing it was safer if he could actually see. “What, bug?”

The teenager smiled to himself at the nickname, he heard it often, but it was relieving every time he heard it. “You know, I say things pretty rude sometimes, but it’s because… you know, we all have different outlooks on things.”

“I know, we have very different perspectives and that’s okay.” Baekhyun agreed, licking over his teeth nervously.

“Wait.” Taeyong requested, grabbing his brother's shoulder, “Hyung I want you to listen to me because I lied to you.”

Baekhyun frowned, nodding and crossing his arms, tilting his head in confusion over Taeyongs shoulder when Yifan sent him an equally confused look.

“You always make me feel… like I’m going to beat this world, you know? But, that’s not the truth at all, you and I know that even if others won’t admit it. You didn’t beat this world, I’m not sure I can, maybe… maybe Jisung will, he's still young, he can still learn better than what I did.” Taeyong sighed and shook his head, pushing his hair off his forehead. “I’m not what you think I am, I’m just a monster too. It’s good or it’s bad, I haven’t decided yet, all I know is… I’ll do anything you want me to, and I just want you to know that I’ll follow you, whatever you decide is best I agree. If you… if you decide living isn’t best, then I agree, I can live if you die. I love you, and it will hurt and I’ll be so hateful, but I’ll live and I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

“I want you to take care of Jisung.” The elder said immediately, reaching up to cup Taeyongs cheek, “You can survive on your own. I guess… I guess I’ve taught you okay.”

“If you want, I can take care of your soulmates too. I’ll do it. I don’t.. I don’t understand stuff about soulmates, but I know it would hurt because Hyungs love you so much. I wouldn’t… let them do anything stupid.”

Baekhyun snorted, wrapping his arms around his brother's waist and tucking himself under Taeyongs chin. “I’m not going to take an easy way out.. but if something happens to me, you can’t stop them. Just let them do as they want.”

“But… then I’ll be alone.” Taeyong whispered.

“I thought you could survive on your own.”

The teenager chewed his lip and pressed his chin down on his brothers head, “That doesn’t mean I want to.”

“Baekhyun, do you have the diaper bag?”

Said man stiffened, sighing deeply and reluctantly pulling away from Taeyong to look over.

Honestly, he didn’t want to speak to Yixing, but this was getting fucking ridiculous. He felt like a child throwing a fit, but what the doctor had done was horrible and Baekhyun didn’t think he could ever trust him.

“Yup.” He muttered, pulling the diaper bag off and setting it on the ground.

He saw Yixing go to open his mouth, but something about his expression must have told the man otherwise because he only nodded with a nervous grin and started walking over to receive it.

Baekhyun almost rolled his eyes, turning to go sit himself where his soulmates were talking, the sky darkening quickly.

“Baby.” Jongin cooed, reaching a hand out for his soulmates wrist, pulling him between his legs. “My baby.” He added, wrapping his arms tightly around Baekhyun's shoulders and kissing beneath his ear.

The younger beamed, immediately turning to tuck himself around his soulmate's front, pressing his jaw to Jongin's pulse.

“Are you hungry?” He heard Kyungsoo ask, a warm palm running down his spine and resting at the edge of his hoodie.

Baekhyun hummed, shaking his head slightly and wrapping his arms tightly around his husband's waist, “Not now, I’m only tired.”

“Do you want to be carried?” Chanyeol asked gently, hitting a walnut with the butt of his gun.

“Maybe.” The smallest admitted, lips brushing beneath Jongin's ear before smiling at the familiar shiver the elder did. “You don’t want me so close, Nini?” He giggled, closing his eyes tiredly.

“It only makes me want to take you on the ground.” Jongin snickered, pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's shoulder, “How can you be so close and I not want to have you? Hm? So sexy, gorgeous.”

“You have me.” Baekhyun muttered, voice tired as he curled his fingers into Jongin's shirt.

“That I do, cuteness.”

The younger smiled gently, eyes heavy and tired, but the talking around them was too loud for him to rest.

“Hey guys, remember how I told you that I followed you guys a good while?” He heard Zitao vaguely and groaned, yawning as he turned to rest sideways against his husband's chest so he could see what they were doing.

“Yeah, yeah, we were exhausted.” Junmyeon whined defensively.

Zitao snorted, hand hanging near his gun. “How do you explain the straggler then?” He pointed towards the tree line with a smirk.

Immediately, the group was pulling out weapons, Baekhyun could only really sit back as he watched Chanyeol hop to his feet.

“Come out!” Yifan cried loudly, gun tight in his grip as he and Zitao walked towards the tree line cautiously.

Only did their group know they were limited on bullets, and Yifan wasn’t likely to fire first, so when the man came stumbling out of the trees with his arms up and a heavy backpack on his shoulders, it wasn’t surprising how afraid he looked.

Yifan was grabbing his backpack immediately, yanking the rather healthy looking man towards everyone, “Why the fuck are you following us? Take off the bag and state your name.” He ordered, shoving the man down onto a log.

The poor man looked shaken up, Baekhyun almost felt for him had he not been stalking them.

“Kim Jongdae - I-I swear I’m just looking for new additions!” He cried, practically shoving his backpack to the ground in offering.

Yifan did look quite scary when he was worked up, but Baekhyun knew this man just seemed… not that familiar with people in general, or he was just outnumbered and his fear was rational considering the lot of them.

“Additions?” Yifan prompted, patting down the man’s jeans and taking the knife on his hip.

“Kid, why the hell have you been following us? Spit it out already.” Minseok added with a growl, annoyed at the man's excuse.

Jongdae gulped, eyes searching before they landed on Zitao, “Followed him- I thought he was alone and needed shelter, I had to figure out what kind of people you were before offering you spots.”

“Spots?” Yifan suddenly looked plenty interested, “You have a camp? Where?”

“I can’t tell you that!” Jongdae huffed, “Do you think I’m stupid! So far all I’ve seen you guys do is walk and scream at each other. Hardly friendly.”

Baekhyun could give him props, as he did have a huge point. In his perspective they had probably seemed like a group forced together rather than voluntarily being family.

“Okay, listen.” Chanyeol sighed and squeezed Baekhyun's shoulder as he bypassed him to kneel in front of the newcomer, “We have children, and we are family - all we want is to survive, so if you turn us away now then you’re leaving us to die. All of us, the baby, the teenager, if you’ve been watching this long then you know those two are the top of our priority - so tell us, please, do you have somewhere safe?”

Guilt tripping, it always worked, Baekhyun hadn’t seen it not work when Chanyeol did it, not with those wide eyes and his begging expression.

“I-I do. It’s at least a four month walk.” Jongdae gulped.

“Hell, we’ve been walking for no direction for at least a month.” Junmyeon chirped, Jongdae's backpack in his hand as he set it beside the man, Jongdae immediately looked confused - probably because they hadn’t been digging through it, but were giving it back.

“You got a name for this place?” Yifan added, spinning Jongdae's knife around to offer the handle back towards the man.

Usually they wouldn’t have let Jongdae off so easy, but if this man said he had a place, then it was better than nothing at all, better than having Jisung sun burnt and Taeyong forced to deal with the bug filled summers for no reason - it would give them something to look forward to, something to give them hope.

To give Baekhyun hope.

Jongdae still looked relatively confused when no one was pointing weapons at him and as everyone gave him space, “Alexandria.”

“Alexandria.” Jongin mused, Jisung sitting on his hip as he wrapped an around Baekhyun's waist, “Let’s see about this place then.”

A little hope was better than nothing at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS BASICALLY THE END, IM NOT SURE IF ILL BE ABLE TO THINK UP ANYMORE FOR IT OR ELSE SOMEONE HAS TO DIE


	56. EXTRA: Jumping From A Cliff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The leaders perspective.

**Today was a good day.**

**The prison feels calmer.**

**I’m not sure if it’s good… or bad, but it’s something.**

**I don’t think that we can survive all on our own, but we keep going, and it’s a good thing too.**

**Even if we don’t want to, we keep trying, and that in itself is a very, very good thing.**

**A good thing like Taeyongs tree running across his side, it’s very pretty, the kind of soulmark I always wanted for him.**

**In this world, it’s not really possible to tell whether he’ll ever get to meet his soulmate, or soulmates, like me. But, hopefully he will.**

**He's not the same anymore, but it’s kind of hard not to change when you’re witnessing things considered horrendous everyday. He's still young, maybe he can learn more, maybe he can grow.**

**But he doesn’t seem to understand the things… everyone else does. It’s understandable since he’s the youngest, but it’s not… right, but it’s hard to tell if we’re doing something wrong by showing and teaching him things.**

**But, again, there’s a lot of doubt going around along with anxiety.**

**These are just things that I notice, and it’s nicer to write about them because sometimes… it’s not easy to find words to explain how I feel, or how the days merge together.**

**I think it’s a new year, but I can’t be positive, it could be June for all I know, but it’s still cold out, so probably not.**

**Minseok started a garden today, Sunmi said she wanted to grow watermelon, but it’s harder to find seeds for things like that, and even harder to find time to go out and look.**

**Not that I’m allowed to.**

**It’s not that I feel mad, per say, more of an anxious sort of anger - like a stomach turning sense of guilt.**

**Because things shouldn't be like this. I shouldn’t feel bad waking up in the morning, and I shouldn’t put so much pressure and fear on everyone else to look out for me.**

**But I don’t understand a lot of things.**

**Why can’t we be like Yixing and Yifan? Luhan and Sehun? Hell, I wish we could go back to the beginning and even be like Junmyeon and Minseok who rarely are touchy.**

**But we can’t, and it’s hard.**

**Because we know each other too well, and that’s not the problem, the problem is that they know** **_me_ ** **too well.**

**It’s not disgust or even anger I see when they look at me, I once thought it was, but it’s just… fear, and I have no right to tell them not to worry when I can’t promise them anything.**

**It’s just really hard.**

**Everything is really bad, and I can’t just erase memories.**

**Sometimes the bad and the good ones come together, and I can’t really sort them out, just like how when I’m talking to someone things are becoming a little harder to read.**

**Is it me?**

**Am I the problem?**

**If you look at someone you should be able to tell from their expressions, but everything seems to contort sometimes, and my vision looks a little black, my heart races for no reason and I can’t describe it.**

**It feels like something is eating away at me, and when the doses of medicine go higher it goes away, even if it’s only a few months.**

**I feel itchy when I’m touched sometimes, only better when I’m around my soulmates.**

**Pathetic. It’s pathetic when I’m surrounded by so many people but want to throw up just from smiles sent my way.**

**I can’t tell if it’s guilt or not. I can’t tell if it’s physical pain or an injury. Maybe I’m just sick?**

**Or I’m just fucked up.**

**I’m tired of hearing people being concerned for me, I just wish I could be… normal. Free?**

**The truth is that I don’t care.**

**We live or we die, and sooner or later we’re going to die.**

**The others don’t want to die, and I don’t… see anything wrong with being willing.**

**It’s selfish of me to claim that I would want to, so that’s not what I’m saying, but… it's better than anyone else, who wants to live, dying, right?**

**I just hope that-**

“What are you reading?” 

Yifan jumped slightly and shut the notebook in his hand. “What?” 

Yixing snorted, smiling as he grabbed the notebook and took a seat on Yifan’s thigh, not opening the book, but just holding it. “What is it?” 

“Just.. uh, just something Baekhyun gave me… a long time ago.” The leader mumbled under his breath, grabbing the notebook and pushing it off towards his backpack lying on the ground.

“Baekhyun?” The medic muttered, confused and leaning against Yifan’s chest, curling a hand into the man’s long hair, “Should I be worried?” 

Yifan didn’t know if he meant worried about Baekhyun or him, but either of them fit.

He would be lying if he said he didn’t get chills or didn’t stick closer to the smaller man when he read something particularly heart racing.

Sometimes it wasn’t so bad.

Sometimes it was cute drawings, and doodles that he was sure were Jisungs doing rather than Baekhyun's, but he also liked the attempts of drawings obviously done by the younger man.

But, other times it was pages scribbled in black, sometimes it was writing that was all crossed out - still slightly readable, but Yifan felt if even Baekhyun himself couldn’t handle reading what he had written, he likely couldn’t either.

Baekhyun could handle a lot though. He dangled from edges in his own head, and nobody could really tell whether he had jumped - or if he was pushed off.

Maybe he was pulled back off.

His journal didn’t give insight into recent things, since it was old, and Baekhyun had a new one, so Yifan had no idea.

It was also so hard to understand what he was talking about, each day sounded like it was a different person writing it, like it was pure mood that determined what was being focused on.

He jumped around, topics went from Taeyong to getting supplies, to Jisung, to Chanyeol, to Kyungsoo, to Luhan - really to anyone, but always ended up back at himself like he was trying to figure out what he was thinking about writing all along.

Like he was beating around the bush with himself.

It felt too private to read things, too private to read about his rape, his attempt at recovering, to read about his experiences with his soulmates, learning about Baekhyun's personal wants… no matter what kind.

But Baekhyun had given it to him for a reason, and if the reason was because he wanted him to read it, then he was trying too.

Maybe he had given it to him just because he knew Yifan felt responsible for him, Baekhyun was always more observant than he gave himself credit for. 

Honestly, nobody knew a thing about Baekhyun.

And that’s why everything about it was so scary.

“Hyung!” 

And he was so good at pretending.

“Hyung, Stop-“ Baekhyun was cut off by his own laughing as Jongin threw him over his shoulder playfully, and Yifan felt Yixing’s curious gaze into his jaw when he watched them.

Baekhyun always seemed to laugh the loudest, but was it real? Did the smaller even feel much of anything good?

“Baby, calm down. Jongdae said it’d be a long time, chill.” Jongin laughed, setting the smaller back down and wrapping an arm around his back, tangling fingers into Baekhyun's hair.

It was so long now, Yifan couldn't even remember what Baekhyun looked like with short hair, the brown locks touching the collar of his shirt when he leaned up to look at Jongin. 

Was it possible he was losing time too? 

Did time even matter anymore?

“Baek.” Jongdae chuckled across the camp, “Man, I told you it’s only been a few months, we have a long journey.” 

“At this point I just want to shower.” Taeyong added, digging his knife into the side of the tree.

The teenager, now probably around fifteen, maybe? 

Nobody really knew, but he recalled Baekhyun saying something about it a few miles back. 

But Taeyong… just grew harder to understand as time passed. Harder to read. Harder to control.

He listened, but was he really hearing? He heard, but did it even process? 

The leader didn’t know how to make everyone feel safe, he didn’t know how to repair Yixing and Baekhyun's friendship, he didn’t know how to stop Taeyongs permanent scowl.

What was the point in having a leader who didn’t know his people?

Maybe that’s why reading Baekhyun's journal was a good thing. 

Maybe if he asked Baekhyun for his new one, gave him a new notebook, he would let him read it too.

Because this one was too old, it didn’t sound like the man that had killed Jiyong in cold blood, or the man that had disillusioned an entire fight with his own soulmate.

That man was way different, illness progressed too extremely.

Baekhyun was a liar now, he hid behind a smile even if he only months ago had a mental breakdown.

He could probably black out on the spot and wake up with a grin and nobody would think none the wiser. 

The worst part was that Yifan knew everyone was buying it, or at least pretending to because they liked to see Baekhyun happy - even if it was fake.

He honestly couldn’t tell if it was real happiness or not, couldn't tell what was a lie or the truth.

Yifan just really wanted everyone to live.

But it was too much to hope for, and he knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is intentionally not supposed to make a lot of sense, because of their mental states, but tell me how you understand it to be read.
> 
> What chapter was it that Baekhyun gave him his journal? 
> 
> Were you ever curious if Yifan read it? 
> 
> Would you read it? 
> 
> It must be pretty bad if Yifan, probably the most mentally strong given that he is the leader, is so confused by things.


	57. Sequel: Months Gone

  
They had jobs now.

They had a house.

They had a community.

But something wasn’t right.

Nothing ever felt right.

They had walked months to get here, literally, a trip softened only the last few miles by a fucked up RV they had all squeezed into.

Baekhyun probably only felt something wasn’t right because it was so different. It was way too different.

They had electricity, hot water, their oven worked, their homes were beautiful - clean.

But Yifan wasn’t the leader. He wasn’t in charge, a woman named Deanna was.

She was an older woman, and nothing about her was really wrong per say. But she looked too clean, she looked too innocent.

She was sheltered, and he wasn’t sure how many others here were just like her.

Baekhyun knew the others were noticing too, as soon as they had to lay down their weapons and give them to be locked up - until they were trusted, she said.

Jongdae said she was trustworthy, and after so many months - and the fact he and Zitao shared a soulmate mark - they trusted him.

The community here had a weird system of jobs.

It had only been three days, but they had been given jobs already.

Yifan and Chanyeol were constables, Deanna's reasoning was because she thought they were strong, but Baekhyun was sure she simply saw the leader in them, and wanted them to do something that would ease their need to control.

But Baekhyun didn't listen to anyone but Yifan, nobody else, because he was the leader to him, he was the only one Baekhyun trusted enough to take care of them all.

“This place is gonna make us weak.” He heard Minseok argue with Yifan in the living room, and he couldn’t help but agree.

They all had their own houses, but after only three days it felt better - safer - when they were together, so he wasn’t surprised at all when he heard them as he woke up.

“We'll make it work. If they can't make it, then we'll just take this place.”

It was a comment that sounded so harsh, but it was so true. If the people here couldn’t make it - they could.

Walkers weren’t an issue, it was the people that were.

Yifan these days just was so… blunt. He never sugared anything, he never pretended anymore, and he didn’t even bother trying to shield things from Taeyong - nobody did anymore.

Maybe they were all losing it - humanity, or they were understanding more than they had the past three years, they grew.

Always together. They only ever grew together.

“They’ve got lockers of weapons.” Yifan added again, “I don’t want any of you vulnerable, got it? The moment your guard is down that's it - you step out that door and you get to the armory, check out a gun since they don’t fucking trust us to keep one.”

“I’ve been carrying a pocket knife.” Taeyong mumbled, voice raspy from sleep, and voice deeper now, growing more each day. “I snuck into the armory, there’s a latch on the back window, could sneak in again and snatch us things. Just tossed in there. They don't use them. They're never gonna know they're gone.”

Baekhyun sighed, but wasn’t surprised at all, making his presence known by stomping down the stairs, “Good morning.”

“Morning, babe.” Kyungsoo called immediately, turning to look over the back of the couch, “Coffee for you on the counter.”

He perked up, still unused to being able to have coffee in the mornings.

“Deanna said she wanted Baekhyun to work with her.”

Baekhyun snapped around to stare at Jongdae, “She what? Why?”

“She said… she sees a future for this place, that she sees crops and animals. A real future you guys.”

“Okay, well Minseok is the botanist.” Baekhyun said firmly, leaning his tailbone against the counter and not moving a muscle when Jisung ran over to grab his calf for attention, only laying a hand on his hair. “I literally cannot even take care of myself, how the hell could I take care of others?”

“What are you going to do then?” Yixing asked.

Baekhyun pursed his lips and still felt uncomfortable speaking to the medic even though it had been so long since they had a decent conversation. “I’ll… i'll just.. do my part, like everyone else.”

“Deanna wants your part to be key, to communicate between communities.” Jongdae reiterated.

“Communities?” Yifan mumbled, raising a brow.

Jongdae closed his mouth really tight, and truthfully Baekhyun didn’t want to hear his answer, only kneeling down to pick up Jisung, “Ah. My baby, so big. Tae, let's go take a walk.”

Taeyong was on him like a hawk, hovering a good few inches over him, taller than him at only fifteen, Baekhyun was slightly envious.

“Baek, you should socialize. Play nice.” Junmyeon added, and a lot of the group laughed at that.

Baekhyun only snorted, fixing Jisungs half dangling shoe, “When am I ever rude?”

“Don’t make me look at my list, baby.” Chanyeol answered playfully, holding the door open for him to carry the toddler out.

~~~~~~

“Flowers!” Jisung giggled, tugging on Taeyongs sleeve as they walked along the wall.

It didn’t look too different from Woodsburys wall, only sturdier, looking properly built like it had been built before all of this - probably an expensive, luxurious community, Baekhyun mused.

“Jisung. Stay with Hyung.” He heard Taeyong's request, and smiled at their backs.

Taeyong would always protect Jisung, maybe over himself, but Baekhyun was sure his brother had good reason for a lot of the things he does or says.

Even if they were painful, and even if he never wanted to hear them.

“I never got to interview that little one.”

Baekhyun sighed, sticking his hands in his pockets as he turned around to look at Deanna. She was an older woman, looked relatively harmless, but she seemed too smart for her own good - looked at him like she knew they were up to something. “His name is Jisung, he's… probably nearly four now, we aren’t too sure.”

Deanna smiled, but Baekhyun didn’t like it one bit. “He’ll get to see what this place becomes. Always be safe behind these walls.”

That’s what they thought about the prison, Baekhyun mused. “Yeah. I actually wanted to talk to you. My brother wants to volunteer to watch on the clock tower, he’s a really good shot.”

It was partially a lie, but if Taeyong could officially get a spot as a shooter then they wouldn’t have to worry about getting caught stealing guns, because the truth was they would be getting them one way or another.

“We don’t have a watch.”

Baekhyun gawked and knew he must have looked absolutely shocked, “What do you mean you don’t have a watch? You think you’re safe behind these walls? You think you’re not vulnerable! People are vulnerable! They're always vulnerable! Don’t ever put your guard down or you’ll die- you’ll die, would you want tha-“

“Baekhyun!”

“I’m so sorry.”

Baekhyun didn’t fight against Jongin pulling him away, never even having realized that he was getting so close to the older woman anyways, “They don’t have a fucking watch! Nobody is watching the walls!”

“What?” Yifan hissed, and Baekhyun knew he had blown it out of proportion, but the leader sounded pissed off too. “Let’s talk security, let's walk.”

Baekhyun merely shrugged Jongin's concerned hand off his shoulder as he watched Yifan walk Deanna off, much more composed than he was.

“Baby, calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down.” Baekhyun requested under his breath, running a hand through his hair and walking a bit faster to continue watching the yours twos backs, “The people here… they're sheltered - they worry about what to cook for dinner, they worry about taking a goddamn walk - I’m worrying about my family, I’m worrying about myself.”

“Baekhyun.” Jongin mumbled, turning to grab Baekhyun's shoulders to stop his walking, cupping his cheek, “Doll. I’m not saying not to worry, we know that we always need to worry. But… we can’t change what other people think, and we can’t just.. just… I don’t know, what do you want us to do? Throw walkers at them and teach them to defend?”

“Better than nothing.” The younger mumbled, not really meaning it, but at the same time he did feel like it could work.

They didn’t know how to survive, but if they forced them to, they would have to learn quickly.

At this point he felt like Jisung knew how to survive better than sheltered adults, at least he knew to hide if he was told to.

“Look at me.” Jongin growled, and it was the first time Baekhyun had ever seen him mad at him in any way, “Look at me. You sound like Taeyong, you used to hate that talk. I don’t.. I don’t even recognize you right now, Baekhyun.”

“I don’t either; I feel different.” Baekhyun agreed hallowly, wrapping his arms around Jongin's neck.

The elder sighed into his hair, tangling his hand in his locks and pressing his lips to his forehead. “I love you. That means something, right? That still feels the same?”

“I love you. That still feels the same, Hyung.” Baekhyun agreed, pressing his lips to Jongin's neck before releasing him, searching for his hand and continuing their walk along the fence, walking up behind Taeyong and Jisung sitting with their backs to them in the grass.

“And if you cross outside the wall, what happens?” Taeyong prompted, not even noticing those walking up behind him.

“Run!”

“That's right, Jisung. You run and then what?”

Jisung bounced on his feet in thought, fingers holding onto Taeyongs shoulder. “Find Hyungs.”

“And if you can’t?”

“Hide!” Jisung cried, covering his eyes dramatically.

Baekhyun felt Jongin click his tongue near his ear, but it wasn’t an annoyed sound, more of a defeated one. Worn out and tired.

It wasn’t like they wanted this for Jisung, who would ever want this for a three… maybe even four year old? They had no idea what was right or wrong anymore.

They did what they had to do for their people, and nobody else mattered.

It was selfish, but it had worked so far - for the most part.

“Bug,” Jongin muttered as he let go of Baekhyun's hand, kneeling down to place a hand on Taeyong’s head. “Do you want to go see if we can target practice? We could undo that latch then, make it easier for us to sneak in later.”

Baekhyun did feel a bit better that Jongin was planning on going with Taeyong, even if they got caught along the way.

“Yes, Hyung.”

“Deanna tried to tell Yifan to make Taeyong talk to the other kids.” Baekhyun muttered, laughing to himself at the thought, “Funny, huh?”

“Funny!” Jisung chirped as if he knew exactly what they were talking about, tugging on Taeyongs shirt and wanting to go up.

Taeyong only snickered, unamused, “Because that's exactly what I need, huh? A bunch of vulnerable people to care about.”

“God. You and Baekhyun sound too alike these days.” Jongin whined playfully, pinching Taeyongs side when the teenager stood up, placing Jisung on his hip.

~~~~~~

Baekhyun needed some air, and even if he hated to admit so, the community was nice to just walk around in, it seemed so safe.

But he wasn’t stupid or naive - nowhere was safe.

And even the nicest of places had their flaws.

Like how the lights outside stayed on at night, what a waste of power, or how nobody was on fucking guard because Deanna assumed them safe even in the dead of night with walkers crawling along the wall.

People weren’t safe from each other either, because there was no mistaking the yelling he heard as he walked past the surgeon's house.

He had met the wife before, a shy speaking woman named Jessie, and the surgeon himself seemed friendly enough - but then again, nobody could really see each other for who they were anymore - never really could.

The screaming was unmistakable, hurt his head at how aggressive it was, and he found his hands twitching towards the knife hidden in his pocket, wishing he had his gun right now.

Baekhyun clenched his jaw, found his brows furrowing in anger at the violent yelling, he found himself stomping towards the door towards the sound - standing right on the porch holding a knife in his head, blinded.

Blinded by anger, by hatred.

What kind of person deserved to live if they inflicted such pain on others? What gave him the right to live when innocent people such as Sunmi got to die? For what? Why did nice people have to die?

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

Baekhyun flinched as Chanyeol grabbed his arm and yanked him off the porch, “What the fuck, Baek? You just going to march in there? Then what? Get yourself beat too?”

“Better than doing nothing at all.” Baekhyun whispered, not even knowing he was crying until Chanyeol was wrapping his hand around the sharp edge of the knife, eyeing Baekhyun like he wasn’t sure the smaller would drop it or not.

He did, immediately.

“He’s hurting her.” The younger added as Chanyeol pushed the hair from his face like he was worried he was panicking, but he wasn’t. Baekhyun really didn’t feel much other than anger anyways.

“People hurt people, Baekhyun. We cannot save everyone.”

“You're supposed to be the police. You and Yifan.” Baekhyun whispered in disbelief, “Let me kill him and we can make up a story.”

It was Chanyeol’s turn to look at him like he was crazed, curling his fingers into Baekhyun's long hair to hold eye contact, “You don’t get to kill people just because you want to, that’s not how it works.”

“Then do something.” Baekhyun hissed, curling his lips in anger, “We get to choose who deserves to live and die - he’s going to kill her one day. Yixing has seen the bruises, it’s been three days and this place… it’s a facade - they’re only ignoring the problems here, it’s not paradise; it’s a lie.”

“Look.” Chanyeol requested, “I hate violence, you know we hate these things, but we’re in here now. We have to listen to what Deanna's rules are. I’ll… go see Yifan about it, I’ll talk to him, okay? We’ll talk and discuss.”

Sighing, it was better than nothing at all, so Baekhyun nodded, standing on his feet to press his nose into Chanyeol's cheek apologetically. “I wasn’t going to do anything.”

“We don’t lie to each other.”

“Maybe… maybe just a few bruises?” Baekhyun amended sheepishly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure how often this will be updated, but I’ve been catching up on TWD and I just... can’t let this story go.


	58. We Don’t Lie

Taeyong had stolen a shit ton of revolvers, claiming they literally had a freezer just sitting full of them, and ammo - just going to waste.

It was ridiculous when they had spend months on the road, relying on things such as guns, saving every bullet they had and then this place just had them stocked up and locked up.

For no reason at all, because only a handful of people knew how to use them.

At least when they went out they got geared up well, the stock keeper really kept track of everything though, but luckily it didn’t seem like she noticed the missing guns at all even though the window was still cracked the slightest bit from Taeyong and Jongin's secret adventure.

“You be safe.” Baekhyun ordered, curling fingers around the collar of Kyungsoo's shirt, “Hyung. Be safe please.”

“Don’t worry about him,” Junmyeon snickered from across the stockroom, choosing a rifle, “I’ll be there to watch him, sweet pea.”

Deanna's younger son, Aiden, was coming along on this journey in place of his older brother Spencer, and something about him didn’t seem right - he was too overconfident for someone that had yet to really see the world.

“Always careful, baby.” Kyungsoo answered, pressing a kiss to his lips and a second to his forehead, “Be back tonight, hopefully with a power grid.”

Baekhyun giggled at that, shaking his head as he remembered how freaked out Taeyong had been because he thought charging his game boy took out the entire community's power, but the truth was that the entire grid was fried from overuse in general.

“Love you.”

“Love you more, beautiful.” Kyungsoo grinned, climbing into the back of the van and sighing as he took a seat against the wall, sending Jimin an annoyed kick at the teasing smirk on his face.

~~~~~~~

“That's the warehouse. Looks like that door is our fastest way in and out. We should know all the exits first. So there's a plan if things go south.” Junmyeon commented, leaning out of the passenger window, “Nicholas, pull over here.”

“Already got one.” Nicholas commented as everyone began unloading, “It's called going out the front.”

Kyungsoo scoffed in disbelief at that, peeking through the fence, the amount of walkers surrounding the electronic building was an entire swarm, it wasn’t possible. “No way. We need to know ins and outs - all of them. Don’t ever go in a building if there’s no exit.”

It should be obvious, but apparently to Nicholas and Aiden it wasn’t.

“Heads up.” Yoongi muttered, pointing his silenced gun over Aidens shoulder and hitting a walker right in the head.

“Look at you with the aim.” Junmyeon teased.

Yoongi snorted, shaking his head. “Kyungsoo is right, we need to do a perimeter check, know our exits.”

“It was a good aim back there.” Kyungsoo heard Jimin saying to his soulmate behind him as they started walking around the building.

“Target practice helped.”

“Actually, last week, I was pretty close to practicing on Aiden.” Yoongi joked, Kyungsoo snickered at that, slowing his steps a little to let them catch up, “Me too, man.”

~~~~~~~

“Yifan.”

“I already know, Baek.”

Baekhyun chewed his lip and nodded his head slightly as he invaded the leaders home - not that it really mattered.

“Your… your uniform is nice.” Baekhyun whispered, pointing at the button up Yifan had laying on the couch, identical to Chanyeols.

He didn’t even know if Chanyeol ever wanted to be an officer sort of thing, but so far… he seems to like it.

Yifan snorted under his breath, passing Baekhyun his half eaten bowl of oatmeal, “Careful. Might think you’re sweet talking me.”

Baekhyun grinned, accepting the food and taking a seat on the edge of the island. “What will you do, Yifan?”

“I’ll… speak to Deanna first.”

“What do you think she’ll do? What if she doesn’t do anything?” Baekhyun worried, scratching his arm uncomfortably at the thought.

It wasn’t like any of them even knew Jessie all that much, sure, she was kind and she had given them cookies when they first arrived, but… nobody deserved to be treated like trash.

Especially when the world was shit itself, people didn’t need to be.

“Then I’ll kill him.” Yifan said seriously, tucking his tank top into his slacks and fixing Baekhyun with a firm look. “We choose who lives and who dies, Baekhyun.”

“You always were my leader.” Baekhyun answered.

~~~~~~

“We're not getting out the front.” Junmyeon sighed, pointing at the hoard of walkers hanging on the stores doors.

Kyungsoo pursed his lips as he threw an arm out, opening the back door, the inside of the store pitch blank and only the flashlights they had lighting up the place. “Hold on.” He ordered sternly, banging his fist on the metal door a few times.

They waited a moment, listening for any noises when Aiden tried to push through, Kyungsoo shook his head, “Give it another second. It's a big place. There could be some inside.”

Kyungsoo clicked his tongue at no noises, tilting his head uncomfortably, “Okay. Let’s go, stay quiet.”

“You got that aisle?” Junmyeon asked under his breath, Kyungsoo sent him a thumbs up as he and Jimin cautiously started down the aisle.

As they moved a bit, the sound of metal clanging was heard, and Kyungsoo nodded at Jimin to see if he heard too.

“They’re stuck behind something.” Jimin replied, confused as they walked closer to it.

Kyungsoo gulped in disgust at the walkers dressed as employees hanging on a locked chain fence.

Something about how walkers would be locked away always crawled up his skin the wrong way; in their last moments they had been hidden away, thinking it would help.

He sighed and stabbed a few through the fence to silence the clanging, “Clear!”

“You know you’re stuff.” He heard Nicholas comment.

Kyungsoo nearly scoffed, “We were out there a long time.”

“Yoongi, you find it?” Junmyeon asked his partner a few aisles down as the man searched box labels.

“This it?” Yoongi asked, cutting open the side of a box and pulling out a electronic box.

Junmyeon pursed his lips before nodding, “Yeah. Yeah, we get em, guys!” He called, removing his backpack to fill with the boxes.

More snarling started up at the calling back and forth and Kyungsoo nearly lost his mind as Aiden started firing unsilenced shots, “Hey!”

The man didn’t listen, and Kyungsoo shook his head as he peered through aisles to look at the walker, “It’s got armor, you have to let it get closer!” He tried to help, but Aidens aim was the problem.

“I got it!” Aiden argued, still missing shots.

Kyungsoo frowned, pulling his gun up to his face to look through the scope before feeling his heart pick up at the grenades attached to the military uniformed walker. “Aiden, stop!”

“Stop!”

But it was too late, the bullet hit a grenade and they were all getting blown back, coughing on the smoke from the grenade.

“Oh, god.”

“Fuck.”

Kyungsoo sat up with a cough, climbing to his feet to pull Jimin up.

“Everyone okay!” Kyungsoo choked out, patting Jimin's back at the younger coughing.

In the distance, Aiden groaned in pain and he was running over quickly, eyes widening at the man impaled on a broken metal shelf.

“Help! Somebody!” He coughed out, blood pouring from his mouth.

“Oh, god.” Kyungsoo cried, throwing his gun strap around his neck and running over to Aiden, “It’s going to take three of us.”

“We got that kinda time?” Nicholas cried.

“Are you just saying we leave him?” Kyungsoo hissed viciously.

“Where’s Yoongi?” He heard Jimin cry, and felt horrible he hadn’t noticed his absence, hearing Junmyeon cuss as he went to go look for him.

“You still have that flare?” Kyungsoo demanded.

“Yeah.” Nicholas whispered, voice shaking.

“You fire the flare over the shelves. That'll draw some of them away.”

~~~~~~

“Don’t you look nice.”

Taeyong sent Baekhyun an unamused look, “Shut the hell up.”

“Ouch.” Baekhyun mumbled playfully clutching his chest before walking over to mess with Taeyongs newly cut hair. “Who did it?”

“Jessie.”

Baekhyun chewed his lip at that, nodding his head slightly and wrapping his arms around Taeyongs head because the teenager was sitting down, probably suffocating him, but Taeyong didn’t do anything other than whine.

“Will you go play with the other kids? I heard she has a teenager your age?”

Taeyong shrugged slightly, and they both knew it was unlikely. “Maybe I’ll just play with Jisung.”

“I think you two are too attached.” Baekhyun teased, throwing himself down on Taeyongs bed and spreading himself out just to annoy the teen, but Taeyong really didn’t seem to care.

“I thought you wanted that.” Taeyong replied, digging into his box of old gameboy games, half didn’t even work anymore.

Baekhyun laughed, through his arm over his eyes. “I just wanted you to have someone to focus on, someone not as… unstable as me.”

“I think you being unstable is the least of our issues these days. Just stay with me and I can focus on everyone.”

~~~~~~

“Hey, it's gonna be okay. We're gonna get you out of here. Alright? Everything's gonna be okay. I need you to stay quiet, okay?”

“Can you do that?” Kyungsoo added frantically, patting Aidens cheek.

“Okay.” The man gurgled in his own blood.

“One, two, three.” Kyungsoo counted down, him and Nicholas lifting Aiden slightly off the rod, but the man started screaming, an outright pained noise.

“The flare. It's burning out!” Jimin yelled, watching their backs.

“Come on. Come on, again.” Kyungsoo demanded of Nicholas, grabbing under the wound as if he could put pressure on a hole in the man’s chest.

“We’re not going to make this.” Nicholas whispered, obviously scared as Jimin's gunshots became more frantic.

“Don’t leave me!” Aiden cried as Nicholas started running towards the exit.

“Hey! No, no, I’m not leaving you.” Kyungsoo cried frantically, unwilling to lose more people as he tried to figure out how to help.

But Jimin was yanking him by his arm, “They’re coming,” shoving him towards the hallway and Kyungsoo could hear Aidens screaming ringing in his ears.

“They’re here!” Jimin screamed again, and Kyungsoo watched Nicholas run through the revolving doors before retreating inside of them.

Kyungsoo grabbed Jimin by his collar and threw them both inside the opposite slot, pinning themselves so he and Jimin and across from them Nicholas were holding themselves against the walls of the glass doors while the walkers pushed on them.

“Hey, maybe-- maybe we can shoot our way past them.” Nicholas stuttered through the glass, arms pushing on either glass door beside him. “You guys still have the guns.”

“And you have the ammo!” Kyungsoo screamed in anger, shoved into one side of the door and Jimin on the other.

“We've got to do something, man. We're gonna die in here!”

“There has to be another way!” Jimin cried.

Just as the words were out, Junmyeon was driving the van, honking and blasting music as he banged on the outside of the metal, hand out the window, “Fresh meat! Come on!”

“Come get me!”

Kyungsoo laughed under his breath, “Yes, Jun.”

”Alright.” He added as the walkers in the outside started thinning out, “Hey. I need you both-- hey, Nicholas!” He cried, getting the man’s attention, “I need you both to keep the door steady, alright? I'm gonna break the glass. We get out, you push out. We get the rifle and we're good.”

He waited for Nicholas to nod, but the man already seemed to be doing something else - shoving on the rotating glass towards the outside so it started spinning, giving him a crack to get through towards the outside.

“No! No, stop! It's not safe!” Kyungsoo screamed at the top of his lungs as their side started shifting, cracking enough for walkers' hands to peek through.

“No, it's not gonna break.” Nicholas argued, shoving his side more.

“It will. We can hold it. We can. Trust me, okay? Count of three. Count of three. One, two--“

“No!” Jimin screamed as Nicholas leaned into his glass window, ignoring Kyungsoo's plan to break the window and making a crack big enough for him to slide through, but making their gap towards the inside - flooded building of walkers bigger.

“No! Hey! Hey! Hey! Nicholas, don't! Nicholas! Damn it, Nicholas, no! Nicholas!”

“Hey, don't do it!” He tried once more but with a big shove Nicholas was pushing through, unbalancing the rotating doors and a walker took the opportunity, reaching in to grab Jimin's leg.

“No!” Kyungsoo screamed, grabbing the youngest arm and trying to hold him in.

“Don't let go.” Jimin cried, tears streaming down his face, but it too late, he was already being pulled out and Kyungsoo cried bloody murder as he watched the man get pushed against the glass once the gap closed without the added weight - walkers distracted by their feast.

“Jimin!” He screamed, sweat and tears pouring down his face as the younger man screamed in pain on the other side, being eaten before his eyes. “Jimin! Jimin!”

Kyungsoo watched the whole thing. Silent after his screaming, making sure Jimin has gone still, that he was no longer in pain before he was curling his hands in his hair and rocking as he collected his gun and shakily pushed through the doors before the walkers turned on him next - before they overpowered him too.

His jaw was clenched in fury as he watched Nicholas pull Junmyeon from the drivers seat, obviously attempting to steal the van and leave more people for the dead.

He ran over and didn’t even spare the man a glance as he yanked Nicholas out of the driver seat and started pummeling his face in, crying the entire time before he straightened up as the man was limp, knocked out cold.

“Where’s Yoongi?” Kyungsoo demanded, sniffing his tears and wiping Nicholas’ blood in his jeans as he started dragging the man towards the back door of the van.

“Dead, blown up in the attack, got him before he could turn.” Junmyeon answered, lifting Nicholas’ arms to help toss him into the back.

“Good.” Kyungsoo whispered, wiping his nose on his sleeve. “At least he’s and Jimin can be together again.”

They both cried the entire way home, Junmyeons gun pointed at Nicholas even though the man didn’t wake up until long back in Alexandria.

~~~~~~~

“Couldn't get Aiden out without help.”

“Then when we got into the lobby... All he had to do was hold the door. They were gonna kill me. But he panicked. Or they were trying to. Or they just didn't care. Jimin, I had him. I had his hand. And if I didn't push back, I'd be dead, too. I tried. I watched him die.”

Kyungsoo's eyes shot up to stare at his family, eyes red and swollen, face blood stained still and lips bitten. “Jimin died… Nicholas killed him, he killed him. H-He could have made it.”

“Deanna says you're not allowed to leave grounds until she’s done looking into it. Nicholas is putting blame on you.” Yifan explained reluctantly, glancing up at the blinking porch light that was illuminating Kyungsoo's face.

“And what do you believe?” Kyungsoo whispered, sniffing and laying his head in his palm. “I almost left him out there.”

“Could have told a story.” Jongin added.

Kyungsoo laughed humorlessly, “Think I should have?”

“They don't know what they're doing. Any of them.” Yifan began firmly, “We'll show them. I don't know if they can see it. How things really are. I don't know if they can yet. They haven't caught up. We have to be here. We have to.”

“But their rules, we don't answer to them.” Baekhyun whispered, kneeling down to wrap his arms around Kyungsoo's shoulders despite how covered in walker blood he was.

“I don’t care.” Yifan whispered, leaning in like he was telling the family a secret, “We won’t. We’re staying here, Nicholas can lie all he wants. We don’t lie, we live. And this place is our home now.”


	59. Walking On Edge

  
“Soo.” Baekhyun whispered, throwing his arm over the man’s waist, “Hyung. Get some sleep.”

Kyungsoo only turned into his side to face the younger, bringing his hand up to comb the hair from Baekhyun's forehead, “I killed Jimin.”

“Nicholas killed Jimin, and Aiden killed Yoongi.” The younger argued softly, wrapping his fingers around his soulmate's wrist gently, voice a whisper because of Chanyeol and Jongin sleeping peacefully.

“I had him, Baek.”

Kyungsoo sounded both confused, but also so guilty it had Baekhyun's lip wobbling because he hated to see them upset, “it’s not your fault.”

“Huh.” The elder whispered, wrapping his hand around Baekhyun's head to press a kiss to his forehead, “Is this what you feel like when we tell you that? It really doesn’t work, does it?”

“Sometimes it does.” Baekhyun lied for Kyungsoo's sake.

~~~~~~~

Yifan stood against the metal wall looking at Deanna, calculating going about this, but he was also angry, felt this place was under horrible leadership.

“We have a problem with Pete.” He said firmly, crossing his arms over his chest.

“I hoped it'd get better.”

Yifan furrowed his brows at the older woman in disbelief, “You knew? He’s abusing his wife, that’s disgusting.”

Deanna turned to him with a heavy sigh, “Pete's a surgeon. He's saved lives.”

“He’s beating his wife. We have to stop it.” Yifan growled, brows pulled together and ran an annoyed hand through his hair.

This topic seemed like something miniscule, especially considering shit going on outside the gates, but assault wasn’t something their group stood for - they wouldn’t just sit around and allow it.

“How?”

“We separate them. We tell him that's how it'll be from now on.”

“What happens when he doesn't want to do that?” She argued.

Yifan scoffed, “It's not his choice.”

“So what happens?” Deanna argued more fiercely, but she looked at him like she already knew the answer.

“I kill him. We kill him.” Yifan snarled, kneeling down slightly and actually hoping she could see how serious things were.

“We don't kill people. This is civilization, Yifan.”

Civilized, Yifan literally scoffed, fingers twitching. “Warning someone to stop or die, that is civilized nowadays.”

Deanna only stared at him calculatingly, and Yifan could see in her eyes the distrust. She didn’t trust them.

As expected after her son had just been killed - but they had lost two of their people, Jimin and Yoongi were there family.

She had no right to look at him like he was the monster.

“So what? So we just let him hit her? We let him kill her?” Yifan asked, wide eyed and a clenched jaw.

“No, we exile him if it comes to that.”

“We do that, we don't know when he comes back and what he does to them. Letting him go makes this place vulnerable. You really want to wait till someone in that tower has to take care of it? And that's if we're lucky.”

“We are not…,” Deanna cried before taking a big breath, “executing anyone. Don't ever suggest it again. That sort of thinking doesn't belong here.”

Yifan was fucking tired, and felt like he was whispering a secret, “People die now, Deanna. They do. There's times like this you can decide who and when. Or it can be decided for you.”

“I wouldn't kill you.” Deanna growled, eyes wet and despite her age and despite her recent loss, Yifan couldn’t find sympathy for someone that hadn’t adapted to the new world. “I'd just send you away.”

Yifan watched her walk off with a clenched jaw, and knew a threat if he ever heard one.

She truly was blissfully ignorant if she thought he would allow her to kick him and his family out of here, out of walls that saved them every night.

He had watched far too many die, experienced the horrors beyond those walls.

The truth was, maybe Taeyong was right, maybe they all were monsters.

But they were monsters that were going to fucking live - at whatever cost.

~~~~~~

Kyungsoo clenched his jaw as he walked up behind Nicholas, eyeing the man’s back for a moment with distaste and pure unadulterated disgust.

“Nicholas, don't talk, just listen.” He demanded as the man turned around, eyes red and hard, “Those people you lost on that run, that's on you. And Jimin, Yoongi, that's on you, too. Those lives, you have to carry that.”

He scoffed and hardly believed he had to do this, hands itching for the gun Taeyong had given him in his waistband, but he instead buried his hands in his pockets, “People like you are supposed to be dead, but these walls went up just in time, so you're not.”

“You don't go outside those walls anymore. Not by yourself, not with anyone else. And that's how you're gonna survive.” He ended firmly, hands feeling clenched as Nicholas had the nerve to send him a disbelieving look.

“Who the hell do you think you are?”

Kyungsoo actually laughed, soulless and troubled, “I'm someone who knows who you are. I know what you did. And it's not gonna happen again.

“I've been protecting this place, helping provide for it. You just got here.”

“Don't forget what I said.” Kyungsoo warned.

“Are you threatening me?” The other man scoffed.

Kyungsoo chuckled, “No. I'm saving you.”

~~~~~~~

“What are you doing out here?”

“Why are you following me?”

Baekhyun laughed and shook his head as he jogged up to Taeyongs side, yanking the teenagers backpack, “Been on you a good mile, bug. Are you out of shape?”

Taeyong growled and shook off the grip, “I know. I can hear you, you’re the one that’s loud as shit.”

The elder whined in offense, but truthfully didn’t give a fuck, reaching out to grab Taeyongs hand because he knew the teenager - despite being so aggressive - would always let him do what he wanted.

And, just as he expected, Taeyong did. He let out an almost relieved sigh and Baekhyun figured it was because he expected to be scolded.

And he should be, he knew better than to go outside the walls alone, but Taeyong didn’t really listen when he was upset, and given recent events he had a lot of reasons to be.

“You miss them?”

“No.” The teenager mumbled, bringing his gun up to his view and shooting past the trees at a walker in the distance.

It was so far away Taeyong truthfully didn’t need to kill it, but Baekhyun didn’t say a thing.

“We’re going to get weak if we stay in there all the time.” Taeyong answered a moment later, dropping his backpack into a pile of leaves and taking a seat against an indent in the ground.

Baekhyun nodded slightly, chewing his lip and pushing his long hair out of his face as he sat down beside his brother, pushing them together and placing his head on Taeyongs shoulder.

How funny when he remembered the days Taeyong used to do this, be small and curl up at his side for protection.

Baekhyun didn’t feel the need to be protected right now, but couldn’t read Taeyong very much anymore, “You can miss them. We miss them.”

“No.” Taeyong laughed like he was hilarious and turned to dig his knife into a tree root beside them, “There’s no point in missing people when you know it’s going to happen. Honestly, I barely feel relieved when one of us makes it back anymore… it’s just… nothing, I feel nothing.”

“You sound like me.” Baekhyun whispered, and had no idea if he was worried or if he wasn’t shocked in the slightest, he just… felt normal. “Be careful, maybe they’ll take away your guns next.”

“Hyung.” Taeyong suddenly turned to him, leaves cracking rather loudly as they heard walkers nearby, but neither of them moved an inch. “Sometimes kids have to show adults the way.”

“And what is it?”

“Nobody can be ready to die, but it’s easier to accept it. Someone is going to tell you to get used to that… that feeling.”

Baekhyun felt like he was shot, but at the same time had been wondering when things would come to this.

You fight for a while, you keep going and learning about the world.

But at some point… you just change, it consumes you.

“What happened to you?”

“Does it matter?” Taeyong shot back with no heat, arm wrapping around Baekhyun's shoulders and looking somewhere over his head, probably towards the snarling.

“It does. You know I do.” Baekhyun whispered, fingers digging for the gun in his pockets, but not pulling away at all even as he knew they should start running.

His brother laughed, and Baekhyun could feel Taeyongs muscles tense as he fired a few shots over his shoulder. “Do you have hope? Or do you just… wake up?”

It was a hard question.

There really was no straight answer for it, and he suspected Taeyong knew he couldn’t truthfully answer him, because he still thought the easier way was to die.

It wasn’t their world anymore, it belonged to the dead, and they were just living in it.

So, Baekhyun wasn’t sure he had a lot of hope for people anymore, but he had a lot of hope for them - for Taeyong, for Jisung.

Maybe not himself, and maybe not even his soulmates.

But he felt it a small bit, and it was better than nothing.

“Get up, Hyung.” Taeyong muttered, laughing slightly as he shoved his gun into his backpack. “Out of ammo, we got a group coming.”

“Great. Didn’t know you invited friends to our brotherly talk.” Baekhyun said sarcastically, laughing much louder than he should considering how closed in they were getting.

Taeyong snickered, pulling Baekhyun up by his arm and grabbing his hand as they began to run off.

Baekhyun laughed to himself as they ran through the forest. It was easier to ignore they were being snarled after and chased when they pretended they were only them two - just with each other.

“Here.” His brother panted, shoving him into a hollow tree, pressing them together.

Baekhyun hadn’t even noticed the hiding space, and with the walkers that were now wandering passed they wouldn’t have been able to get out, they would have gotten trapped eventually.

But his little brother was smart. And his little brother had adapted.

“You’re going to beat this world.” He whispered, pressing his forehead into Taeyongs chest.

He wasn’t sure his brother had heard, but the hand cupping the back of his head said otherwise.

Baekhyun hated to be overly hopeful, but for Taeyong he had all the hope in the world.

~~~~~~~

Chanyeol was hearing Yifan, he really was, and he always trusted the leader.

But there was only so much to be done.

There was a limit of how much they could take, and they were breaching the top.

“She’s not going to do anything,” Yifan said again, a whisper, but the crazed glint let Chanyeol know they were on the same train of thought. “Deanna thinks we’re… savages or something, the enemy. She thinks we’re bad people.”

Chanyeol actually laughed then, “There are no good or bad people. We’re living by our own morals, at our own risk - for our own people.”

“And what about us? Does living with an abuser make us moral? Does it go against our morals, Chanyeol? Do we stoop this low for a home?”

It wasn’t even a question - it wasn’t even a consideration really.

There was no choice.

“Abuse is abuse. I don’t care if it’s emotional, if it’s physical, or… if - If it’s sexual - it’s not allowed. I refuse, I refuse,” Chanyeol dropped his chin into his hand, running a palm all over his face, “I refuse.”

The leader tilted his head at him, but didn’t reach out to touch him when he was so worked up, didn’t dare to.

“How’s Baek?”

Chanyeol merely scoffed, but instead laughed, sniffing as he threw his head back to place on the metal wall behind them. “You know… I thought - we thought - it’d be different.”

“What? Him or jus-“

“No. The environment, I mean.” Chanyeol explained, “I thought… it’d make Taeyong more childlike, I haven’t seen him play like a kid in so long, and we thought it’d make Baekhyun… more relaxed, less… less in his own world, you know? We just want.. want to be a part of it too, but it’s hard considering… ju-just considering all he has going on in his head.”

“Nobody can understand that,” Yifan whispered, “Nobody can, and nobody will. I’ve read his journal three times, not a sentence can I understand what goes on in his head, but… but he loves you guys, he cares about you guys, and… whatever you guys do it does help him - anything helps him.”

“Wish Yixing would talk to him again,” Chanyeol admitted suddenly, “I mean… Baek would talk to him, but I wish they’d try sessions again; they helped, for a while. Everything only helps for a while..”

“He seems… better now.”

“That’s what he wants us to think.” Chanyeol snickered, “That's literally his idea, he thinks we don’t notice anything. He eats - because he knows we want him to be healthy, he sleeps - but we know he mostly just lays there, and… he… he talks to us, he really does, but there’s no point when there’s no… feeling, you know? I just - we can’t really tell when he’s feeling anything at all. Maybe he really doesn’t feel anything unless it’s strong enough, but… but the worst part is because I have no idea whether we really care if he’s faking or not, because.. because it works - and we fall for it everytime.”

~~~~~~~

“Hyung,” Taeyong whispered.

“Yeah?”

“Did you see that walker? It had a W in his head.”

Baekhyun curled his lip up and reluctantly nodded, “Yeah. Yeah, I did see that, Tae.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Baek and Tae really... don’t give any fucks anymore.


	60. Breaking Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nobody is concerned about Baek and Tae basically uncaring about being walker bait in the last chapter.... okay!

  
“Ah, sh, sh.”

Baekhyun laughed breathily into Chanyeol's ear, legs wrapped around the man’s hips and lips pressing against the fine layer of facial hair on his jaw.

“Sh, baby. Taeyong is sleeping.” The man groaned into his hair and Baekhyun giggled before throwing his head back in a moan, long hair fanning out over the pillows as he moved his hands behind his head to grab onto the wooden headboard.

“Fuck. Chanyeol, Hyung.” Baekhyun cried quietly, lifting his hips up a bit as he came.

“Babe, love you. Love you.” Chanyeol cooed, leaning on his elbows beside Baekhyun's head with a deep moan, stilling and pressing their chests together, combing Baekhyun's hair and pressing his lips into his soulmate's forehead, “So beautiful. Love you, babe.”

“Love you too,” The smaller laughed, pressing a wet kiss into Chanyeol's jaw and fingers moving to curl into the slightly damp hair on the nape of the man's neck, “Love you, handsome.”

“You must like my facial hair so much, huh? You want to compliment me a lot lately.”

Baekhyun hummed in agreement, kissing at his skin.

“Baekhyun,” Chanyeol whispered more seriously as he heard their connecting shower turn off, and soon their peaceful alone time would be no longer, “You know I would do anything for you, right? Anything at all.”

The smaller smiled into his skin, but still was fondly brushing Chanyeol's hair from his face, “You sound like you’re going to do something crazy, my love.”

~~~~~~

“My baby, I’ll see you later.”

Taeyong fake gagged across the living room and Baekhyun laughed, bouncing Jisung on his hip, “Tae, say bye to Hyung.”

Kyungsoo snorted at his demand and pressed a kiss to Baekhyun's hair and a second to Jisungs cheek, “Come get your kiss, bug.” He teased.

Taeyong whined aloud, getting a hit on the leg from Jongin at his dramatics.

“Be back later, hopefully I can snag something good for dinner.”

Baekhyun laughed, kissing at Jisungs temple and nodding, “Love you. Be back soon, I can only handle one of you guys gone, and Chan is always gone these days.”

“Almost like an actual job, huh?” Jongin mused.

Nodding, Baekhyun sent Kyungsoo another grin before setting Jisung to his feet, “What do you say, Ji? Are we learning letters today? What do you feel like?”

The toddler giggled and started bouncing his way into the living room, grabbing onto Taeyongs leg and getting more annoyed noises from the teenager who was cleaning a knife. “Fighting!”

“Ah, you want to learn fighting?” Jongin snorted, leaning over his lap to tug on Jisungs ear, “Come here. Let’s see it, Sungie.”

Baekhyun pursed his lips, and wondered what the hell things had come to.

~~~~~~

“Jessie.”

Chanyeol sighed out her name almost like a curse, hands moving to hold onto his uniform belt, leaning against the wall of her open garage.

“Jimin and Yoongi were a sweet couple.”

Chanyeol cringed and felt his heart jump at the reminder, and the woman looked at him apologetically, standing to her feet and wiping her hair trimming scissors clean - they really needed to get Jisung over here for a haircut, Baekhyun too.

Maybe Taeyong would make friends with Jessie’s son too, they were about the same age.

“He’s hurting you. He’s hitting you.” Chanyeol cut in with a sigh, pointing at the bluish color peeking out on her shoulder, “Soulmates?”

“I...I - he used to not be like this.”

Chanyeol laughed, shaking his head, “Soulmates don’t hurt each other; good people don’t hurt good people.”

Jessie sighed, and Chanyeol almost felt bad because she looked so angry - the kind of angry Baekhyun got when he was being accused. “Look, it was like this before and he got help. I helped him and things were good. I can fix it.”

“No, you can't.” The man clicked his tongue sadly, “You can’t just… tell people to change and they do, that’s not how people work - I know from experience, Jessie.”

“But I can.”

“Jessi-“

“No, what-- what can you do? What are you gonna do? You gonna put him in jail? You're only gonna make things worse.”

Chanyeol could tell by her expression that everything he was saying was right, that everything he was saying were her fears.

He felt horrible to claim this, but the defensiveness she was giving off reminded him of his own soulmate so much.

Maybe that was why things felt so personal to him, as if Baekhyun was the one being harmed and the thought was despicable.

Or, when he found an opportunity to show that he was still… human, that he still felt morals and that he still tried to be a good person whenever possible.

It was likely both, but just.. knowing she and Pete were soulmates but he still treated her like this didn’t help him not think of Baekhyun.

His own soulmate who didn’t deserve so much harm, but had gotten hurt anyways.

“If it's gotten worse, it means he's killed you. That's what's next. And I'm not gonna let that happen.”

“Why do you care? Why is this so important to you?”

“My soulmate-“ Chanyeol was cut off by Jessie scoffing and walking towards her garage door like she was extremely fed up, and he couldn’t pretend to understand how interrogated she must feel.

“I can take care of myself. We have to take care of ourselves.” She said firmly, hitting the button to close the garage door on him.

Chanyeol watched the metal shut on him before he was gritting his teeth, running a hand through his hair as he walked back towards the street.

He heard laughing, and saw Jisung playing with Taeyong and Jungkook down the block a few Alexandria members talking to his family, but he didn’t have it in him to turn around - couldn't leave things as they were.

Because things weren’t what people thought they were - they weren’t fine and dandy, and all the noises were ringing together in his mind.

And Chanyeol snapped.

He knew it wasn’t right, but nothing was at the moment, and he burst through her front door, seeing her startle and begin to open her mouth to scold.

“My soulmate, his name is Byun Baekhyun.” Chanyeol began, hands shaking and Jessie looked at him more concerned than anything, “I could-I could never protect him, okay? People… they hurt other people - and they won’t stop… n-nobody will stop unless they are stopped! Jessie, l-listen, just listen to me - nobody is good, nobody is and nobody can be, but y-you can still control yourself. He has no right to hurt you even if you’re soulmates -“

“I think, Chanyeol, I think you need to sit down-“

“Jessie, in here, you can't see it, but it's the same. It's the same as out there. We have food and roofs over our heads, but you don't get to just live. You don't get to put it off or wish it away, Jessie. If you don't fight, you die. And... and I don't want you to die. I can-- I can help you. I can help you, I can. All you have to do is say yes.”

Chanyeol could hear how frantic he sounded, knew how crazed it seemed, but he couldn’t help it - he was sweating and he was stuttering, and his thoughts were only red.

“What are you doing here?”

Chanyeol's anger only reddened when Pete stumbled in, obviously intoxicated, or at least seeming that way because Chanyeol couldn’t even see straight.

“Pete.” Jessie mumbled.

“What are you doing here?”

“Listen to me.” She tried, laying a hand on her husband's arm. “I'm gonna have to ask you to leave, Pete.”

He watched the twitch of the man’s eye, it was dark and undeniable, Chanyeol couldn’t handle it, “Pete, you and me are leaving. We need to have a talk.”

Pete scoffed like Chanyeol was actually funny, pressing a finger into his chest menacingly, “You think you're the law? You actually think you have a say in anything here?

“Step back.” Chanyeol warned, face right in front of the other man’s.

“Who the hell do you think you are?”

“Someone who's trying not to kill you.”

Pete lifted his arm and it hit Chanyeol's jaw, raw iron tasting blood filling his mouth up.

Chanyeol laughed, bringing a hand to cup his jaw before shaking his head and grabbing Pete by the throat, shoving him into the wall with hands choking him.

Pete dug fingers into his skin, scratching at his face before Chanyeol hissed at a foot hitting his ankle, and fell back into the wall as Pete delivered another hit into his stomach.

Finally, at the throbbing in his face, Chanyeol was pissed. He grabbed Pete by the hair and threw him through the glass window, both of them rolling out into the street when Pete grabbed him around the arm.

It wasn’t smart, and it wasn’t even protection anymore.

Chanyeol didn’t even care about much more than he was so mad, so angry, and he didn’t even know where he was anymore, just sitting back on top of the man and hitting him.

“Hyung!” He heard screaming, and knew it was Taeyong, but didn’t even turn to acknowledge it, hands bloody and cramping as he just continued it, continued beating this man.

For what? He didn’t even know anymore, it could have been anything.

This could have been anyone, could have wronged them - maybe he’d hurt Baekhyun in the future, because that’s what strange men seemed to do.

“Chanyeol!”

“Get off!”

“Stop this right now!”

“Chanyeol!” Baekhyun screamed, running up to the scene of his soulmate covered in blood, kneeling on top of another man and beating him - probably to death.

And he was confused, because people were only watching, people were only screaming, but they weren’t doing anything.

Yifan, in fact, looked like he wanted to join.

This wasn’t them.

They weren’t bad.

They only saw reality.

“Chanyeol!” He cried once more, shoving Jungkook's arm off his shoulders and running over to jump over Chanyeol's back, hearing the devastated groaning from his soulmate as Baekhyun grabbed his arms, “Stop! Hyung, stop! Stop it!”

“Hyung, get off!” Taeyong added.

“Stop, Chan. Sh, it’s okay, babe. It’s okay, sh.” Baekhyun mumbled, cupping Chanyeol's hair and using all his force to push him off of Pete’s unconscious body. “Hyung. It’s okay.”

“What the hell is going on!” Deanna screamed.

“You touch them again, and I’ll kill you!” Chanyeol warned, despite the man being knocked out cold.

“Damn it, I said stop!” Deanna yelled, and almost immediately Yifan was pulling a gun on her, making the entire crowd gawk, “Or what? You gonna kick us out?”

“Put that gun down, Yifan.” She ordered.

Yifan clicked his tongue, and looked just as shaken up as Chanyeol, “You still don't get it. None of you do! We know what needs to be done and we do it. We're the ones who live. You, you just sit and plan and hesitate. You pretend like you know when you don't.

You wish things weren't what they are. Well, you want to live? You want this place to stay standing? Your way of doing things is done. Things don't get better because you-- you want them to. Starting right now, we have to live in the real world. We have to control who lives here.”

“That's never been more clear to me than it is right now.” Deanna whispered, face disgusted.

“Me? Me? You--“ Yifan laughed, “You mean-- you mean me? Your way is gonna destroy this place. It's gonna get people killed. It's already gotten people killed. And I'm not gonna stand by and just let it happen. If you don't fight, you die. I'm not gonna stand by-“

Taeyong was the one that knocked Yifan out cold with a hit to the back of his head with the handle of his knife, almost sending the leader to the concrete, and the teenager's face was unreadable as he softened Yifan’s fall, struggling to set him down.

But he only clenched his jaw, “Something needs to change.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, are Chanyeol and Yifan right? Why did Chanyeol do that?


	61. Consequences

  
Baekhyun rubbed his palms over his face anxiously, sighing to himself as he turned to look at Yifan who was slowly waking up.

“Stop it,” He murmured, shoving Chanyeol's hand off his knee and glaring up at his soulmate whose face was mostly bandages at this point, butterfly bandages holding his bloody face together from his fight.

Baekhyun was pissed.

It wasn’t that he cared about this place, and he knew both Chanyeol and Yifan were right about everything they said - but he wasn’t willing to risk Taeyong or Jisung losing walls, not again.

So, he was pissed.

“Baby, I -“

“Shut the hell up,” Baekhyun snapped, standing up to pace the room Yifan and Chanyeol had been basically confined to, “Deanna's planning to have a meeting tonight. For anyone who wants to, Chanyeol. This shit is not a joke - it’s not funny, you fucking know we need these walls.”

“You weren’t saying that when you were willing to storm inside and slit Pete’s throat nearly two weeks ago,” Chanyeol chided defensively.

Baekhyun heard some of their group gasp at that, and clenched his jaw as he scratched at his arm, “Fuck you.”

The stress was high, and they weren’t fighting, Baekhyun wouldn’t be mad at Chanyeol for doing the right thing - but it was the consequences that were pissing him off.

“Baek…”

“Not the time,” He hissed at Yixing, running a hand through his knotted hair.

“To kick us out?” Sehun asked across the room.

“To try.” Minseok answered with a heavy sigh.

“We don't know that.” Kyungsoo argued defensively.

Baekhyun clenched his jaw and started towards the door, “I’m doing to find out, going to be Deanna's puppy right now.”

Jongin reached out to soothe him, but thought better of it and pulled his hand back with his angry Baekhyun looked, everyone just watched him storm out.

They knew what this place meant to Baekhyun, arguably he was the one that needed walls the most - physically, mentally, emotionally - Baekhyun needed walls to control who came in and out, and it wasn’t really something anyone could pretend to ignore, because nobody else was in the same boat as him.

“At the meeting,” Yixing began firmly between his soulmate who only recently gained consciousness and Chanyeol, “you say you were worried about someone being abused and no one was doing anything about it, Chanyeol. You say you took a gun just to be sure that Jessie was safe from a man who wound up attacking you. You say you'll do whatever you want them to. Just tell them a story that they want to hear. It's what I've been doing since I got here.”

“Why?” Yifan mumbled with a groan as he grabbed his head.

“Because these people are children and children like stories.”

“What happens after all the nice words and they still try to kick him out?” Junmyeon commented with a frown.

“Taeyong said they’re guarding the armory now.” Luhan added.

“We still have knives. That's all we'll need against them.”

Everyone just stared at Yixing and he sighed and took a seat back on a crate.

Yifan sat himself up against the wall rather loudly, rubbing the center of his head, “Well, tonight at the meeting, if it looks like it's going bad, I whistle. Chanyeol grabs Deanna, I take Spencer, Sehun grabs Reg, Kyungsoo and Jongin cover us, watch the crowd.”

“We can talk to them.” Jongin gawked, shaking his head with a disbelieving furrowed brow.

“Yeah, we will. If we can't get through, we take the three of them and say we'll slit their throats.”

Jongin stared at Yifan and turned to look at Chanyeol but neither of them looked concerned in the slightest, so he started towards the door before frowning and looking back at them over his shoulder, “We gonna kill all those people?”

“No, we just tell them. They give us the armory and it's over.” Chanyeol assured, but didn’t look very assuring.

Jongin scoffed, “Did you want this?”

“No. I hit my limit. I-- I screwed up. And here we are.”

“Better hope Baekhyun saves both your asses,” Luhan growled swiftly, and it seemed everyone else was in agreement as they started walking out the door.

Just as he was going to shut it Kyungsoo clicked his tongue and peeked back through, “Just so you know Taeyong came to visit you guys. Feels really bad about knocking you out, Yifan, but I don’t.”

~~~~~~

“Baekhyun, hey.”

Baekhyun put on the fakest smile he could muster up as he looked at Deanna and her husband Reg.

But, unsurprisingly, Deanna didn’t look that happy to see him despite being up his ass everytime they previously saw each other. “What do you need to talk about, Baekhyun?”

“The meeting tonight.” He answered immediately.

“Baekhyun, if we could talk- I want to talk to everyone about what happened and what we need to do about it.”

Baekhyun furrowed his brows and crossed his arms as he leaned against the porch railing, “If it includes sending Chanyeol and Yifan away, it's not gonna work.”

“Tell me what that means.” Deanna muttered.

“You let them in. You let all of us in. You talked to us. You decided. And now you want to put that decision on a group of very frightened people who might not have the whole story. That's not leadership.”

“Tonight is just a forum. It's just for people to say their piece. And I'll make the decision as I've done since the beginning.”

Very shitty decisions, Baekhyun mused. “Chanyeol was frustrated. The things he's seen. The things he's lost. The things we have all lost.”

“The things you've lost?” Deanna asked, offended.

If the situation wasn’t so serious Baekhyun could have scoffed at her. Sure, she recently lost her younger son - but they just lost two members of their family, the odds didn’t add up when she and her family have never been outside these walls. “We've lost so much more.”

“Yifan took a gun and he pointed it at people.”

“He didn't pull the trigger.” He pointed out.

She actually had the nerve to laugh and Baekhyun's rage meter was reaching maximum levels, “That's a metric? That he didn't pull the trigger?”

“Yes.” Baekhyun growled firmly, “That's the metric - you don’t know what you think you know, Deanna. And I’m not trying to undermine what you’ve created, but you do not know - nobody in this community knows. Hell, that was my own little brother that knocked out Yifan - one of our own group, we know when things start to get to people's heads, and that’s a family problem; it’s not something to do with anyone but our group.”

“I'm gonna do what I have to do, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun snatched his jacket off the rail and started taking off down the porch steps, eyes watering as he sniffed in anger.

He heard footsteps following him and nearly screamed as an arm grabbed his, but only clenched his jaw as he looked at Reg, an older man that he knew was fond of them more than Baekhyun wished strangers would be. “Baekhyun. Look, Baekhyun. The cavemen, they were all nomads. And they all died. Then we evolved into this and we lived. Civilization starts when we stop running. When we live together. When we stop sending people away from the world and from each other. That's what I'm going to tell her. That's what I'm going to tell everyone. Okay?”

It wasn’t a promise, and it didn’t insure anything, but Baekhyun nodded and nervously chewed his lip as he started walking away, but, at thought occurred to him that had him stopping in place and turning to look up at Deanna on the porch.

“I don’t know if you are aware,” He called, projecting his voice and not bothering to care that there may be others around, “But Chanyeol, he's my soulmate, and I’m not saying what he did was okay - I’m not saying that he went the best way about it, but… he’s a really good man, Deanna. And he’s been through a hell of a lot more than I can begin to explain to you, but… I’m just… I’m just asking you to consider how many people you truly would be sending away, because it won’t just be Yifan and Chanyeol. Maybe… maybe Chanyeol can live out there, maybe Yifan will live, but can Jisung? Can Taeyong? Can I? You really do not understand, and I don’t know if you deserve to know what the world outside these walls truly is like - you’d be scared to close your eyes, I would know.”

~~~~~~~

Chanyeol and Yifan weren’t confined to the room, they weren’t prisoners, but it still felt like they were by the way everyone stared at them as they walked back home.

Well, for Chanyeol it was probably due to how fucked his face was, and for Yifan it was probably due to his psychotic outburst.

Still, it only made them angrier.

“Hyung.”

Chanyeol sighed in relief as he shut the door behind him, bending down to pull Taeyong into a hug and burying his nose into the teenagers hair. “Hey. You okay? I’m sorry, bug.”

“I heard about the meeting,” Taeyong muffled into Chanyeol's shirt, pulling back to look at his bandages, “Hyung…” He didn’t bother to ask if he was okay, nobody was okay these days.

“You're staying home to watch Jisung, where’s Jongin and Kyungsoo? Baekhyun?” Chanyeol ruffled his hair and frowned as he started looking around the living room.

“That’s what this is now, right?”

Chanyeol turned to acknowledge Taeyong, eyes flickering to the gun resting on the coffee table.

“Home?” The teenager elaborated.

“Yeah. They need us. They'll die without us. I might have to threaten one of them. We could have to kill one of them.”

Taeyong tilted his head before shaking it and reaching out to grab Chanyeol's arm, “You won't.”

“I might.”

“You have to tell them.”

“Yifan told them last night. You have to tell them so they can hear you.” Taeyong said firmly.

Chanyeol sighed and grabbed his face in his hands, “I don't know if they can.”

“Does that make you afraid?”

“Just for them.” He whispered, pressing his cracked lips to Taeyongs forehead.

“Hyung. You have to tell them.”

~~~~~~

“What the hell are you doing?”

Baekhyun laughed under his breath and shoved through the front door with a casserole he volunteered to bring and felt really proud of Chanyeol for the damage he had done to Pete.

His soulmates were flesh wounds, but these… these were horrible.

“You need to check on Tara. You treated her. You're a surgeon. You need to do that.”

“Get out.”

Baekhyun clenched his jaw at the tone of voice Pete had the nerve to speak to him in, domineering, like he was nothing and had to listen.

He was tired of men treating him like that and didn’t need both hands to pull his knife out and place it under the man’s jaw.

Pete gulped and sucked in a breath immediately, and Baekhyun was a good three heads smaller than him, but he wasn’t to be fucked with right now.

“I could kill you right now.” Baekhyun growled, “I could. I will. And then who would believe I did it because I didn't like you? No one. They'd believe you tried to hurt me. Definitely believe that, I’m small and defenseless, hm? Come at me, big man, just like you did your wife - just like you did your two sons.”

Baekhyun laughed sourly, clicking his tongue before gasping and digging his knife more under the man’s jaw, “Come at me. No? Yeah?” He waited a minute to watch Pete’s jaw tick, but the man didn’t make a move other than looking pissed.

“No.” He hummed, “The way this has played out, you have a chance. You're here. Your wife's there. You're a small, weak nothing. And with the world how it is, you're even weaker. Play your cards right, maybe you don't have to die.”

Baekhyun flicked his pocket knife down and waited a moment longer just to see if Pete would hit him - he wanted him to.

But the man only stared at him with utter hatred.

Baekhyun snorted and shoved the dish in Pete’s hands, “Don't worry, Jongdae made it - I would’ve poisoned it.”

He slammed the door on the way out.

~~~~~~~

“Where do you keep running off to?” Kyungsoo asked, wrapping his arm around Baekhyun's waist and steering him towards the side of the wall.

His soulmate laughed, but it wasn’t happy, “Trying to save Chanyeol’s ass.”

“And how’s that going, baby?”

Baekhyun sighed, and Kyungsoo just nodded and pressed their foreheads together.

“Jisung?”

“Minseok has him. Saw Yifan and Chanyeol limp back to their homes a while ago.”

“Great, guess I need to go keep an eye on them. Make sure Chanyeol doesn’t do anything stupid.”

“I think Taeyong can handle it,” Kyungsoo laughed, grasping Baekhyun's chin to press a few pecks to his lips.

Baekhyun giggled slightly against his mouth, and after a moment it was mostly just them breathing into each other’s faces more than kissing, just resting together.

“He did it for you,” He admitted, turning his head to rest his lips on Baekhyun's forehead and comb his bangs back with a heavy breath.

“I know.” Baekhyun whispered, arms circling Kyungsoo's waist, “I never asked him to, it’s never his fault. Shit happens.”

“Shit happens but it always feels like it could have been stopped - does it not?”

“I’m not talking about this right now.”

“You never do,” Kyungsoo mumbled softly, but it wasn’t argumentative, “Get home before Chanyeol comes out swinging again,” He added, kissing Baekhyun's temple once more.

Baekhyun smiled, kissing Kyungsoo's jaw before turning around and squealing with laughter as his soulmate smacked his hip lightly.

Kyungsoo watched him go down the street as far as his eyes could see before sighing, turning towards the metal wall behind him and sending a kick to the metal.

God, why did things always have to go fucking wrong for them? Couldn’t they all be safe? Happy? At least one of those they deserved, and he didn’t give a fuck which one.

As he pressed his forehead to the metal it shook and he frowned as he looked around.

And there, climbing the supporting beams, was Nicholas going over the wall.

Kyungsoo cursed under his breath and jogged over to follow.

There was a goddamn reason he warned him - and he was not going to allow the man to get anyone else killed.


	62. Almost Killed Him, Didn’t

  
“You ready?”

Chanyeol turned around to look at the doorway, now cleanly dressed, but still bandaged all over his face, across his nose, over his brow, on his temple.

Baekhyun was pissed.

“Baby,” His soulmate whispered, offering his hand out towards him with a begging expression.

Baekhyun clicked his tongue, but accepted and was pulled to stand between Chanyeol's legs, immediately running fingers through his hair as the elder wrapped arms around his hips.

“I love you.”

“Always love you, Hyung.” Baekhyun murmured instantly, tilting Chanyeol's head back so they could look eye to eye, “Don't lose it.”

“I can’t…” Chanyeol growled and tilted his head to the side only to breathe into Baekhyun's wrist, pressing a kiss to his arm, “... I won’t risk anything now, you understand that, right? The moment I think there’s a risk, I won’t take it.”

“I wasn’t being hit.”

“But you could have been,” Chanyeol whispered, moving one hand from Baekhyun's hip to cup his face, “You could have been, and I won’t stand to see you torn apart again, okay? I won’t risk you, or Taeyong, or Jisung - - I just won't, Baekhyun. And you understand that for everyone but yourself, and I’ll admit… I- I was blinded, because I’ve seen you bruised before, and I’ve seen you much more hurt than Jessie was, but I just kept… kept thinking… What if this was Baekhyun? What if this was Taeyong? What if this was people that I loved, and -“

Baekhyun cut him off with a firm kiss on the lips, thumb rubbing gently over Chanyeol's ear before pulling back the smallest bit to nudge their noses together, “Okay.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s us, together, Hyung. It always has been,” Baekhyun answered softly.

~~~~~~

“We're going to start.”

“Where’s Kyungsoo?” Baekhyun worried, leaning over Jongin's lap with a hand on his knee and the other in Chanyeol's grip, “You guys seen Kyungsoo?”

He watched Yixing and Minseok shake their heads and sighed.

“Can we wait? There's still people coming.” Zitao called towards Deanna, “Kyungsoo and Yifan.”

“We're going to start. It's already dark. We're going to talk about what happened. Not the fight. Not what precipitated it. We're dealing with that. We're going to talk about both of our constables, Chanyeol and Yifan. We're going to talk about how Yifan had a pistol stolen from the armory, about how he pointed it at people. And we're going to talk about what he said. I was hoping Yifan would be here.”

Baekhyun clenched his jaw, “How do you expect to hear his side of the story if you don’t wait for him?”

Jongin squeezed his hand reassuringly and Baekhyun only huffed as he leaned into his arm.

“He said he's coming. I'm sure he'll be here. And I'm sure we can work this all out.” Yixing added defensively.

~~~~~~~

Yifan trailed along the dark streets of Alexandria, on the way to the meeting, clenching his hand with the odd muscle tension he experienced, but his attention was caught by a noise - snarling.

~~~~~~~

At the meeting, his family was stalling, vouching for him.

“And after being out there and then not being how you were out there... it can drive you crazy. Yifan just wants his family to live. He wants all of you to live. Who he is is who you're gonna be... if you're lucky.”

Baekhyun nodded along to Minseok's speech, standing up, “Yifan saved my life over and over. There's terrifying people out there. And he rescued me from them. People like me, people like us need people like him.”

“I know what happened last night was scary. And I'm sure he's sorry for that. But maybe we should listen to what he was saying.” Yixing added.

~~~~~~~

Yifan grunted as the walker he had seen wandering around their “clean” society overtook him, shoving his hand into it's skull and attempting to reach for his knife that clattered onto the asphalt.

~~~~~~~

“Yifan is our brother.” Jongin defended, “He's a man with a good heart who feels the things he does, the things he has to do. And all of us who were together before this place, no matter when we found each other, we're family now. Yifan started that.

And you won't stop it. You can't. And you don't want to. This community, you people... that family... you want to be a part of it, too.”

~~~~~~~

Miles away, in the darkness of the woods Kyungsoo laid on top of Nicholas, pinning the man down.

His arm was bleeding heavily from a gunshot this same man had inflicted on his shoulder, but he growled, sweat pouring down his brow as he struggled with the punch wounds to his face and blood loss.

As soon as he had made it into the woods he had practically been target practice, as if he was being lured out in the first place.

“Jimin died because of you!” He screamed, more of a grunt as he reached for the gun a few feet away with one hand.

Nicholas was as bloody, if not more than him with what Kyungsoo inflicted on him, but he still struggled and cried as Kyungsoo grabbed the gun and cocked it, pressing it to his forehead.

He began to sob, and Kyungsoo's lip trembled, “And I tried to tell you how it is, how it has to be and you try to kill me! I have a family! I tried to help you!”

“I was s-scared! I was scared - I don’t belong out here!”

“Shut up,” Kyungsoo whispered, blood dripping out of his mouth.

“I don’t belong-“

“Shut up!” He screamed at the top of his lungs, gun moving to press harder into Nicholas’ forehead.

~~~~~~~

Baekhyun's nails were digging into Jongin's thigh as he watched this civilian talk, “I just want to keep my family safe. You know? And I don't even know what that means anymore, but if it means that we've got to get rid of--“

Suddenly a few people screamed and everyone jumped up as Yifan, covered in blood and gore dropped a dead walker right onto the slab of cement at Deanna's feet.

“There wasn't a guard on the gate. It was open.” Yifan said, face dripping in walker blood.

“I asked Gabriel to close it.” Deanna cried, turning to push her eldest son Spencer, “Go.”

“I didn't bring it in.” Yifan murmured, wavering on his feet and breathing heavily as he wiped his face, only smearing more guts and gore onto his skin.

It was fine, they’d had worse before.

“It got inside on its own. They always will-- the dead and the living, because we're in here. And the ones out there...

...they'll hunt us. They'll find us. They'll try to use us. They'll try to kill us. But we'll kill them. We'll survive. I'll show you how.”

Yifan pulled a gun from his pocket, not menacingly, but only holding it in his hands - Baekhyun thought it looked suspiciously like Taeyongs.

“You know, I was thinking-- I was thinking how many of you do I have to kill to save your lives?”

A few people gasped, and Yifan turned his head like the sound annoyed him, “But I'm not gonna do that. You're gonna change. I'm not sorry for what I said last night. 

I'm sorry for not saying it sooner. You're not ready, but you have to be. Right now, you have to be. Luck runs out.”

Suddenly the gate behind Yifan was clanking open, and in cake a drunken Pete - only this time he was holding a huge sword, one only the armory had.

“He’s not one of us! They're not one of us!”

“Hey-“

Reg, Deannas husband, stepped forward to embrace the man in an attempt to calm him down, but only seemed to spur on his drunken anger, and before anyone could do anything Pete was sinking the sword into the elderly man’s neck.

People started screaming and even Baekhyun couldn't help covering his mouth.

“No!” Deanna screamed, grabbing her husband's choking body as he went to the ground.

Yifan grabbed Pete and shoved him to the ground with a knee in his back immediately, and the man kept screaming profanities anyways.

“My love - no, my love! My love! No, no, no!”

Baekhyun didn’t particularly like her, but he couldn’t imagine her sorrow in this moment, having watched her husband - he assumed her soulmate - drown in his own blood, and in a moment she would need to watch them stab his brain to prevent him turning.

“Yifan!” She yelled as Reg went stiff, covered in his blood, “Do it!”

Yifan shot Pete right in the head, in front of Jessie and the entire community.

And Baekhyun felt a lot better about them staying here.

Was that wrong of him to feel?

~~~~~~~

“Hyung.”

“Yes, bug?”

“Where’s Kyungsoo Hyung?”

Baekhyun pursed his lips and pulled away from the window, spinning around to look at Taeyong who was rocking Jisung on his hip even though the toddler was way too big now.

He couldn’t scold him though when he did the exact same to Jisung.

“I don’t know, Tae. We’re waiting to see, I didn’t… I have no idea, bug.”

Truthfully, Baekhyun's heart was racing, pounding against his chest when he realized Kyungsoo hadn’t come home - the house only holding Taeyong and Jisung when they arrived back.

“Go play with Jisung, Taeyong.” Jongin ordered, more of a suggesting tone, but it was obvious it was a demand, laying a hand on the teenagers shoulder.

Taeyong wanted to huff, to tell them he very much was no longer a child - hadn’t been in years.

He hadn’t been since the moment he stepped foot in the prison, not an ounce of playful innocence he used to feel resonated ever since he had to drag the walkers out of the cell block into the field for them to light on fire.

At least he had been happy then, back when he had all the time in the world to play target practice along the fence and the attention of his family to show him how to live.

Until the walls came down, as they always knew would happen.

Because nothing good stayed good.

It wasn’t worth getting worked up over, not like before.

Not now when he carried around a hidden gun and a pocket knife he could easily stab someone straight through the spine with.

Go for the head and there’s no need to stab again, but sometimes people deserved the extra pain.

It came easy now, the thought of killing, of taking away someone’s life in order for his family to live - that was easy.

So easy, in fact, that if Lizzie, who haunted his dreams, were standing in front of him right now Taeyong could easily shoot her, no more trembling, no more crying and screaming.

It was her fault the walls broke, her fault for everything.

Even if it hadn’t been, Taeyong wanted to blame someone for it.

“No more kid stuff,” He replied, carrying Jisung towards the stairs.

“There hasn’t been for a while, brother.” He briefly heard Chanyeol reply from the kitchen.

At least he felt a little relieved they felt the same.

“Baekhyun,” Jongin began.

Baekhyun was clenching his jaw at the tone instantly, raising his palm out towards him, “Don't do that.”

“Be realistic.” Chanyeol requested, a chunk of ice wrapped in a towel placed on his cheek, “Baekhyun, you know we would never voluntarily try to do this to you, but you know… you know shit happens.”

“He’s your best friend.” Baekhyun whispered, but his tone was harsh as he pressed into the corner of the room, his soulmates hated when he acted like they were being aggressive, but knew he couldn’t help it.

“And he’s also realistic,” Jongin muttered, shaking his head slightly and sitting down on the couch to place his head on his palm and watch Baekhyun carefully, “It’s past dark, if he doesn’t -“

“You have no right!” Baekhyun cried, chest moving frantically up and down as he tangled his hand in his hair, “You have no right.”

“As your soulmates,” Chanyeol started up, moving to lean over the back of the couch, “Your husbands, we have no right Baekhyun? Right to what? To be realistic? To consider the blaring possibility? He was supposed to be at the meeting - he wasn’t, Kyungsoo wouldn't miss something so important unless-“

“You say he’s dead I’ll walk right out there.” Baekhyun growled, hands shaking as he pointed out the window, “I will track his ass down, Chanyeol. You know I’ll fucking do it, so don’t tell me that bullshit!”

“God, you’re so…”

“What?” The youngest sneered, there weren’t tears falling down his face, but the redness of his face and glossiness let them know they would fall soon, “I’m what, Chanyeol? Tell me, let me add it to the reasons I’m fucked up, yeah?”

Jongin hoped to his feet with a stern look at Chanyeol to shut the fuck up, but he wasn’t trying to play Baekhyun's side, couldn’t agree with him a lot of the time these days.

Not since Baekhyun wanted to give up, because Jongin wouldn’t ever approve of that, and maybe, just maybe, Kyungsoo was the most reasonable because he listened to everyone.

“You two aren’t doing this right now. You both agreed in the forest - when it becomes too emotional like this you need to be separated before it gets too much.”

“What the fuck ever.” Baekhyun growled, storming around the couch to the front door, “You two want to give up so easily, then I’ll look myself.”

“Oh, god, Baekhyun.” Chanyeol sighed, moving to lay a palm on the door, it wasn’t threatening, but it was fearful because it was so dark out and Baekhyun was strong, but he wasn’t much of a fighter when scared. “I told you I would work on it, okay? You know I’ve been trying, Baek, but you just… you can’t expect things to change overnight, baby.”

Baekhyun frowned, shoving his arm off the door and pulling it open, “You’ve had years, Chanyeol. You promised me at the prison that you would control yourself, but you’re still a child.”

Chanyeol flinched, but Baekhyun only continued pulling the door open, staring at Chanyeol all the while Jongin had no idea what to do - what worked best for him was to give into the need to do whatever Baekhyun wanted, but it was too irrational this time.

“I think that I’ll-“

“Baekhyu-n! B-Baekhyun!”

The man was snapping his head over to look outside where the yelling was coming from instantly, eyes watering as he slammed the door open to run out.

“Fuck! Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo!” Baekhyun worried, running down the porch to the street where Kyungsoo was struggling to stand, blood dripping from his lips and how the fuck did this happen.

“Move, move!” Chanyeol yelled, gently pushing Baekhyun to the side to grab Kyungsoo's arm, and the man screamed more, louder.

“Bullet- bullet hole, fuck, f-fuck!”

Baekhyun's hand cane to his mouth and he knew he wasn’t much help so he ran back towards the door to hold it open for Chanyeol and Jongin to bring him in, turning to yell up the stairs, “Tae! Taeyong I need you to get Yixing!”

“Taeyong!” Baekhyun yelled louder before Taeyong was finally coming down the stairs, confusion written on his face, but the good thing about his brother was he usually did what he was told without question, so Taeyong only looked at them bringing Kyungsoo in to lay on the couch before running out the door.

“Fuck,” Baekhyun murmured, but he wasn’t crying because at least this was better than it was two minutes before, because Kyungsoo was here, and even if he had been hobbling he was coming home.

Even if he had become a walker Baekhyun would have been happy just that he came home so he could see him one last time.

“How the fuck? What the fuck, man?” Jongin cried, grabbing a blanket from the couch to press into Kyungsoo's bleeding shoulder.

Kyungsoo gasped, presumably worn out from blood loss as he laid on the arm of the couch, blood dripping onto the tab cushion, “Nicholas, t-tried to kill me, almost killed him - didn’t.”

“Why not?”

“S...Someone needs to… to change around here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot of Baekhyun and his soulmates flaws are coming out....


	63. The New Leader

  
Nicholas had tried to kill Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo had explained that he had followed the man into the woods because he had warned him, given him a chance to change, but Nicholas has lured him a few miles out and sent him on a ghost hunt only to shoot him in the arm.

Kyungsoo didn't take kindly to that and proceeded to beat the man to hell, nearly killing him, and from what Baekhyun heard Nicholas should have died.

But, he was also incredibly biased and impulsive.

Kyungsoo wasn’t, not really.

He was kind, and he sometimes seemed to have too much faith in humanity still, always giving more chances than Baekhyun could ever even consider in a million years.

But, again, he was incredibly willing to kill people who wronged them even once, he wouldn't risk it.

In greater news though, the past two weeks Yifan had been side by side with Deanna - not that the woman really wanted to do much but sulk over her husband's death - ordering and planning.

Yifan was the real leader, and that was plain as day to see.

In worse news, Baekhyun was tired of fighting with his soulmates, but always felt they had peaceful periods before periods of nothing but arrogant point of views.

He was beginning to doubt them, even if he loved them dearly. But, it was likely his own insecurities rising.

“Hyung, better today?” Baekhyun whispered, pressing a kiss to Kyungsoo's cheek, sweat covered both of their faces but neither cared.

See, along with Yifan's leadership came new rules- like that everyone could be armed inside the walls.

It came with new jobs - like a lookout.

But, most importantly, it came with more exploration and scavenging further, and Zitao and Jongdae had come across a grave sight only a few tens of miles out.

An entire hole of walkers. Hundreds upon thousands of them stuck in a ravine and slowly making their way towards Alexandria.

They couldn’t have that, the walls were strong, but not built to hold an army.

So they had a plan, even though not everyone approved of Yifan.

But that was fine, because nobody in their group approved of them, and Baekhyun did feel better at Nicholas’ busted face, but not at how the man was nonstop trying to help now, trying to gain Kyungsoo's approval, likely wondering why Kyungsoo hadn’t told Deanna on him.

Baekhyun wondered why too.

“Of course,” Kyungsoo murmured, turning to kiss his cheek and accept one of the waters from his hands, “Get back to digging, sweetheart.” He teased, patting Baekhyun's hip before turning to grab his shovel again.

In order to get rid of the walkers, the only option was to have them pass right by the community, lead them out past the walls and down the highway because they were mindless and they would continue onward if they set a course for them.

But, the walls, as stated, couldn't handle an army of walkers bouncing against the walls, so they were fortifying, layering up a path of sheet metal walls at an angle to block off the road towards the community - to force the walkers to prioritize one direction over the other.

It was hard work, digging deep holes to layer wood up against and welding the metal on, it reminded him a bit of the prison fences, although much more stable.

So far it was working, even if it had been a week and the walls still were being put up in the blistering heat.

“Tae,” Baekhyun said, holding out another paper cup to his brother, “I’ll bring you some, Sehun.” He added.

“You're our water boy?” Luhan snickered, standing up and leaning on his shovel, “At least it’s a pretty sight.”

Baekhyun snorted, laughing at Sehun reaching over to hit Luhans ankle, “At least buy me lunch first, Lu. You're a bit too strong for my taste.”

“Can you guys be disgusting somewhere else?” Taeyong gagged to himself, a line of dirt on his forehead.

“It’s Hyung to you, you little shit!” Luhan growled playfully, flinging dirt at him.

Baekhyun merely smirked at the two before turning around to walk to the back of the truck to fill up more cups.

“Who put you on water duty?”

“Myself,” Baekhyun laughed, blindly passing Yifan over a cup and grabbing a new one, “It’s going really well, Hyung. Of course, I wouldn’t expect any differently.”

“What’s up with Kyungsoo and Nicholas?” The leader questioned, leaning on the top of the water container.

Baekhyun pursed his lips, “Nicholas attacked him, thinks he owes him or some shit for not killing him, Soo should have killed him.”

“Maybe.” Yifan murmured, tapping his dirt covered hands on the container, “What's up with you?”

“What’s not up with me,” Baekhyun wondered, placing a few full cups into a tray, “You’re asking stupid questions, Hyung.”

Yifan shrugged slightly, reaching out for more water, but it turned into more of a hiss, and Baekhyun furrowed his brows and turned to him immediately, the man cradling his hand to his chest and flexing it painfully.

“Since when?” Baekhyun asked, grabbing Yifan’s hand and rubbing his thumb into the man’s palm, Yifan hissed in pain, before instantly sighing in relief as it slowly untensed.

“Cramping up for a while now, ever since the forest. Could be a pulled muscle, but… you know, when I was a cop they always said don’t rely on one hand for shooting, guess this is why.”

Baekhyun laughed under his breath, pressing his forehead down on Yifan’s chest and continuing to massage his palm, “You would’ve made a good cop, you know… if you hadn’t gone and lost your marbles.”

Yifan chuckled along with him, fingers curling up around Baekhyun's fingers, “You know, I always thought you-“

“Am I interrupting something?”

Baekhyun gave one last sigh before pulling away with a small grin at Yifan before turning to grab the tray of water as if he hadn’t heard a thing, walking right past Jongin without even acknowledging his question.

But, of course, he followed him anyway.

“Baek, hey. Baek, what the hell was that?”

“What was what, Jongin?” Baekhyun whispered, fed up as he stopped walking, a tray of water just sitting in his hands, “I’m not allowed to talk to people now?”

“You ignore me and Chanyeol more than half the time and then go flirt-“

Shaking his head, Baekhyun rolled his eyes, “It’s Yifan, Jongin. Don’t be ridiculous. You're turning into Chanyeol.”

“Okay, well maybe for good reason,”

Baekhyun gawked under his breath, walking over to Taeyong only to set the tray down before grabbing Jongin's collar and yanking him away, ignoring Jongdae's tease of ‘someone is in trouble!’ And pulling Jongin towards the cars before releasing him when he deemed them far away enough from others.

“Are you accusing me of something, Jongin? Sure, I’ll admit I’ve been distant the past two weeks, but have you considered it’s because Kyungsoo was shot and I wanted to see him?”

“I’m not accusing you, do you feel accused of something? Guilty about something?”

“What the hell do I have to feel guilty about?” Baekhyun cried, crossing his arms and turning his body away when he saw Chanyeol and Kyungsoo pointing at them.

Jongin scoffed, and it had been so long since Baekhyun had seen anger in his eyes, “We all know Yifan and Yixing are mostly practically platonic, Baekhyun.”

“What does that have to do with me?” The younger frowned, “That's none of our business.”

“Are you dull?” Jongin gawked before taking a deep breath and running his palm over his face with a sigh, “Baekhyun, don't be blind, Yifan is interested in you, we’ve always thought so.”

“Now you’re being disgusting,” Baekhyun spat, “God, I can’t even talk to my own family? I can’t be affectionate with anyone else unless it’s one of you? Huh? Why? Because you’re insecure?”

“Fuck yes we are, you ignore us for no reason more than half the time, loose excuses about Jisung or even Kyungsoo when we try to talk to you, and Chanyeol is too scared to even approach you, but I’m not so listen to me because you know… you know I’m always with you, Baekhyun, but how can I be on your side when you don’t even tell us why you’re acting like this.”

“I literally kissed you a few hours ago, Jongin. Don’t be ridiculous, I’m not completely just… ignoring you, I have a lot going on.”

Jongin rolled his neck before slapping his palm on the side of the truck, Baekhyun flinched even though he wasn’t afraid, only startled. “You don’t think we have a lot going on? Baekhyun, we're trying all the time to make sure you’re okay and it’s hard to even stop and think, am I okay? Is Chanyeol okay? Hell, do you even consider that much these days?”

“You know what I consider,” Baekhyun mumbled through gritted teeth, “I consider the fact that maybe this is all bullshit, and soulmates are bullshit and don’t mean anything - not anymore at least. Chanyeol is a walking bomb, you're turning into a control freak, and Kyungsoo has been bruised since we fucking came through those walls, so I just wonder recently… are soulmates worth this much when you know that you’re going to lose them in the end? Like Deanna did, like Yixing will, like I will, like everyone will, Jongin.”

“You really think that?” Jongin scoffed, reaching out to grab Baekhyun's sleeve carefully. “All of this for what exactly, Baekhyun? Because you had a sudden realization?”

“Because I’m tired of being afraid of what will happen when someone I love doesn’t come back.”

“What now then?” The elder cried, “What? We go separate ways? You go live at Yifan and Yixing’s now?”

“God don’t be a dick,” Baekhyun whispered, yanking his arm out of Jongin's grasp, “I love you, you asked what I was thinking and I told you - and now you’re upset. I was going to say that's a reason we needed to cherish each other while we ha-had the chance.. but…”

“Just say it.”

“Maybe Yifan is a better choice,” Baekhyun growled, spinning around to walk away with heavy steps.

He walked up to Taeyong, grabbing his brother's shirt, “Come on, we need to go back and check Jisung.”

Taeyong squinted up at him through the sun, confused, “Huh? We went back a few hours ago though?”

“I said we’re going, Taeyong.”

Taeyong frowned and began standing up when suddenly one of the citizens started screaming, instantly their group were taking out guns.

A few walkers were stumbling into their area from the forest beside them, only about five max, so Baekhyun went to take a step towards them to take them down, sighing as he reached for his knife instead.

“No! No!” Yifan yelled, his hand reaching out to grab Baekhyun's wrist as he yelled louder, “It’s an opportunity, use the guns given to you! You have to learn! It’s time to learn!”

“You need to do this, you need to, all of you.” Yifan added as the citizens started freaking out and panicking as the walkers got closer.

Baekhyun agreed.

“They won’t do it,” He whispered, eyes shaking as he watched the walkers stumble out of the trees.

“They have to,” Yifan muttered to him.

They didn’t though.

The walkers came out snarling, announcing their arrival loudly, and even then the citizen shook in fear, eyeing them for help.

“What the fuck, Yifan!” He heard Jongdae yell before the man was running over and stabbing a walker in the back of the head.

As if that were the que, Baekhyun watched Sehun run over to do the same, a few more of their group running to help at the citizens' cries for help.

“They didn’t do it,” Baekhyun mumbled, turning to Yifan with wide eyes, “They won’t make it, Hyung. They didn’t do it, t-they didn’t do it.”

“Hey,” The leader frowned as it seemed the younger was beginning to hyperventilate, pulling him into his chest, “Hey, it’s not our problem, Baek. That’s not our problem.”

“Yifan, Y-Yifan, they won’t make it… th-they are going to get someone killed.”

“That’s not our problem,” Yifan whispered, chin pressing to Baekhyun's head and he nodded at Yixing for help, “Baek, sweetheart, that’s not our fault or problem.”

The medic came running over, laying his hand on Baekhyun's head, “What's wrong?”

“Hey! What happened!” Came next, and Baekhyun felt Chanyeol grabbing his arm to try to pull him away but only held tighter, scared he would lose his footing if he tried to move.

“Panic attack? Maybe? I don’t, I don’t fucking know. One second he was fine and the next he was talking about people dying,” Yifan worried, and once Baekhyun's legs gave out he was lifting him up, ignoring Chanyeol’s hands out to take the smaller only because Baekhyun was latched on so tight nails dug into his back.

“Sh, Baek, it’s fine. You’re okay.” Yixing muttered, “Take him to get some water, Fan. Just get him water and take him back.”

“I’ll do it-“

“He's holding tight, don’t worry.” Yifan cut Jongin off, “I got him.”

Chanyeol turned to Yixing with a raised brow once Yifan walked off, face angry and concerned, “You’re just fine with that?”

Yixing actually laughed under his breath, shaking his head, “Baekhyun is panicking right now and you want to be jealous. God.”

“I’ll follow behind them,” Kyungsoo sighed, “I’ll bring Taeyong back, it’s getting late… just… don’t come home… like this, either of you.” He added, looking between Jongin and Chanyeol sternly.

“Really, that’s your soulmate.”

“And that’s yours?” Yixing muttered, confused, “Look. I don’t see the problem, we have way more problems than to worry about whether they like each other - which isn’t either of our business.”

“That’s our husband, Yixing. Of course it’s our business, you don’t even care?” Chanyeol gawked.

The medic snorted, shrugging, “If Yifan is happy then I’m happy, and I don’t… we don’t really feel how… how normal soulmates do, we’re best friends, we were lovers but… you know, time changes people a lot these days.

And just because you’re his soulmates doesn’t mean you have the right to control him… maybe think of that before you get so mad for practically no reason. Baekhyun always looked up to Yifan, he would be good for Baekhyun, and I don’t have anything else to say to you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More drama! But, do they really have a right to assume these things of Yifan and Baekhyun? Yifan who protected Baekhyun for so long? Baekhyun who looked up to him? Do you think there’s feelings other than mutual respect? 
> 
> Also, it’s becoming obvious just how flawed all the characters are at this point, but some of them definitely have their heads in the right places.


	64. First Time Again

  
Things were tense at home, but not unbearable.

Baekhyun still woke up to a full bed, kissed his soulmates, they spoke, but a lot went unsaid, never I love you’s though.

He couldn’t stand the thought of not letting his soulmates know he loved them before letting them leave.

And they seemed to understand the sentiment, kissing him longer every time even if they weren’t necessarily on the best of terms.

Baekhyun wouldn’t admit to a thing, and he wouldn’t admit anything other than he did care about Yifan, even if his words a day prior could have hinted something more.

The world was too risky to not tell them he loved them, so even if things were tense it was important to show they loved each other.

Kyungsoo was the one that seemed relatively unnerved by his words to Jongin even though Baekhyun knew the man must have shared them, but Baekhyun never expected any differently because Kyungsoo usually was a deep thinker.

Chanyeol was… well, Chanyeol but slightly calmer, Baekhyun appreciated that and didn’t ever reject his affection.

Jongin just surprised Baekhyun. The last time he had seen the man this crazed was in the prison when he was rampaging and trying to escape to Woodsbury. It was so unlike him, but also expected when the man held things in for so long.

At least he wasn’t aggressive, so Baekhyun appreciated that too.

“Time is running out. He's talking about a dry run tomorrow. That's it.”

Baekhyun froze, frowning at the conversation he was hearing and holding his grocery basket to his chest.

He had come to the pantry intending on baking, but it seemed his plans changed.

“Yifan stopped Pete. He stopped him.”

“This is not taking out a wife-beater, Olivia. What Yifan wants to do is suicide. I'm sorry, Spencer, but Deanna is asleep at the wheel. So it's on us. We have got to stop him. How many more of us have to die before we do something? Cause pretty soon it's gonna be too late.”

Baekhyun's eyes widened and he carefully shuffled around the corner to peek into the armory. Inside stood a group of Alexandrias people standing inside, only three and one of them, Carter, was one that adamantly outspoke Yifan when he proposed a plan to get rid of the walkers before they overtook them.

“Carter, you need to be really careful here. You're talking about us going to Deanna and telling her--“

“No, I'm not talking about talking some more. About meetings. I'm not talking about that. Plain and simple, we kill him before he kills us.”

Baekhyun gasped, foot bumping into a food shelf loudly and losing his footing to fall on his ass.

He cringed at his dumb move.

“What was that?”

“Fuck,” Baekhyun murmured under his breath as Carter came around the corner.

The man looked extremely angry at the intrusion, “He heard.”

“Carter,” Olivia whispered, warning.

Before Baekhyun could react Carter was raising a cocked gun to his face, he nearly laughed. “He heard.”

Baekhyun juggled the basket in his lap, and saw Carter's eyes shake along with his hand that was holding the gun, “Just do it then, I’ll tell him. You know I will.”

“Carter, don’t,” The girl tried again, “Don-“

The door swung open, and Baekhyun could have easily snatched the gun from the man when he was distracted, but instead he opted to stare blankly at the doorway.

“What the hell is going on here?” Sehun cried, him, Yifan, and Taehyung standing in the doorway.

“What are you doing?” Yifan drawled, looking uninterested, but fingers scraping over his own gun.

“I'm taking this place back from you.” Carter stated.

Yifan smirked, amused as he looked around, “That's what you were talking about in here?”

“That's what he was talking about.” Olivia called out.

The leader shook his head with a laugh, “See, I would have-- I would have set up some lookouts. That would have been the smart thing. You know, if I happened to-“ He lunged out, grabbing the gun and kneeing Carter in the stomach, shoving the man to the ground and clicking the hammer on the gun he stole as Carter knelt on the ground, “You really think you're gonna take this community from us? From Taeyong? From Minseok? From Jungkook? From me? Do you have any idea who you're talking to?”

“It was just me.” Carter flustered, raising his hands over his head, “It was-- it was just me. Just-- just kill me.”

Yifan hesitated, standing there holding a gun to the back of the man’s head with an angry scowl.

“Hyung.” Taehyung whispered, eyes shaking.

“I'm good.” The leader snapped out of it with a tilt of his head as he uncocked the gun and stepped back, “I'm good. You can try to work with us. You can try to survive. Would you do that?”

Carter nodded frantically, and Yifan chewed his lip, “Alright, get out,” he requested, nodding at everyone to leave.

He waited a moment to hand Carter the gun back, a warning in his eyes, Carter accepted, running out the door with his tail between his legs.

“Bae-“

“Got him.” Yifan muttered, waving his hand at Sehun and Taehyung, “I’ll come get you guys later.”

Baekhyun saw them both eye Yifan worriedly, but only nodded when Sehun looked at him.

They both left after a few more seconds, and Yifan turned to crouch down on the ground to help pick up the few things Baekhyun spilt.

The smaller sighed, climbing to his knees and placing his basket down, “He wanted to kill you, I overheard and tripped. Could’ve taken him.”

“I know you could,” Yifan murmured, placing his elbows on his knees and juggling a can of condensed milk in his hand, “So why didn’t you?”

“Not in the mood.”

A hand reached out to tap his chin, lifting his face from his basket to look at Yifan, “Now I know that’s not true, why didn’t you do it, Baekhyun? I’ve seen you kill walkers twice as big, and shoot men much more threatening.”

Baekhyun shrugged, leaning back on his heels, “I don’t know… it.. didn’t feel right?”

“I know you, Baekhyun.” Yifan whispered under his breath tossing the can into the basket and touching the side of his face, “We can’t let you go back to then, okay? Stay right here, where we might think you’re faking half the time, but at least you show something.”

“I’m… not faking.” Baekhyun said softly with a small shake of his head.

“That’s good,” The leader replied just as soft, “Come here.” He added, opening his arms.

Baekhyun gulped, and he was nearly shot moments before, but even then he hadn’t felt emotional, but now he was sniffling and throwing himself at Yifan for a hug, because it felt like he desperately needed it, needed something.

“Just be careful, beautiful. Be safe.” Yifan whispered into his hair.

He laughed, but it sounded more wet as he turned to hide in Yifan’s shoulder, “Yixing won’t like it if you keep that nickname up.”

“Yixing doesn’t really have a say.” Yifan chuckled.

Baekhyun frowned, “What?”

“You don’t know?” Yifan laughed softly, pulling back a little to look at him, “Yixing and I… we haven’t been together since… since Jongdae arrived, we just grew apart, still love each other, but.. he's moving on and it’s great.”

“That’s… that’s so sad.”

“It’s not,” The leader soothed, “It just happens, Baek. Sometimes people just don’t work out, and we’re still soulmates but… you know, sometimes we misinterpret soulmates as romantic when they’re not and we had a good run for awhile, but… but it’s been pretty obvious since we were teenagers that it’s easier this way. It feels better.”

“But…” Baekhyun whispered, expression contorted in confusion, “You… didn’t love each other… like that?”

“I don’t know,” Yifan sighed sympathetically because Baekhyun seemed so confused, and took a seat on the floor, “Maybe we never did? Maybe we did but it… changed? It’s hard to say for certain, but we love each other, we always have, and always will… but we’re not… compatible in that way, and from what he’s told me, he and Junmyeon and Minseok are getting along fine. Always thought he’d be a little happier with people just as soothing as him.”

“But what about you?”

“Don’t worry about me, sweetheart.” Yifan laughed, wiping the corner of Baekhyun's eye where a small damp spot formed, “I’m not lonely.”

Baekhyun knew it was a lie, because he himself had said similar things before. “I… can I come bake at your house?”

Yifan chuckled and gave him his hand.

~~~~~~~

“Never thought I’d see the day you’d be here if it wasn’t to pick up Jisung.”

Baekhyun laughed slightly, setting his bowl of batter to the side.

Things were still tense with Yixing, they truthfully didn’t talk more than absolutely needed, and they didn’t really go out of their ways to see each other, but they were… okay.

“I’m baking now that we have actual ovens,” Baekhyun explained.

The medic merely hummed, and Baekhyun watched him walk into the living room to kiss Yifan’s temple before he was turning into the kitchen and kissing Baekhyun's cheek too, as if they were the closest of friends.

As they once were.

Somehow the thought stung, so Baekhyun smiled nicely at him and turned to the metal pan he had to pour the batter into.

“What is it? Cake?”

“Brownies… sort of.” Baekhyun whispered shyly, “I… I don’t know how well it will turn out with limited things but… it’s chocolate so I’m sure everyone will eat it anyways.”

“Count me in,” Yixing chirped, taking a seat on the island across from where Baekhyun was working.

It seemed too rude to turn around just because now he was forced to acknowledge him, so Baekhyun just chewed his lip awkwardly.

Yixing must have noticed his sudden reluctance, because he sighed loudly and started tapping fingers nervously on the counter, “I love you, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun actually laughed at the awkward start, shaking his head as he turned to place the pan in the oven, “I love you.”

“I just… I know it’s been a long time, but… we’re still… we’re family and I want you to know that I’d never do something like that again, I-I was scared, and it wasn’t fair at all. We were afraid and we didn’t have a home, it was… it wasn’t fair, I have no excuse.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun murmured, “I believe you. It wasn’t fair, but.. sometimes people don’t say the right things and… that’s okay too.”

Yixing looked like he was debating on adding something else, but he only smiled and started climbing off his chair, “I’ll see you later, have places to be and all that.”

It sounded like an excuse, but Baekhyun didn’t care too much when things were so tense still, so he nodded and started digging through his basket again.

“You going to just hangout in the kitchen the whole time?”

Baekhyun giggled and grabbed a small package of cereal, a child sized one that he remembered feeding Taeyong when he was younger, turning to walk into the living room. “Might have just created the worst excuse for dessert ever, but I guess we’ll find out.”

Yifan snickered, moving the pillow from his right into his lap and patting the couch, “Great, I love a mix of ingredients, reminds me of back at camp.”

The younger burst into laughter, climbing into the couch and pulling his knees up onto the cushions with him, “At least I have cereal!” Baekhyun cried dramatically, popping one of the dried, sugar treats into his mouth.

“No fucking way,” Yifan muttered playfully, “Fruit Loops are my favorite - I’m older so you have to share!”

“Mine!”

Yifan grabbed him and started tugging his arm playfully, making Baekhyun burst into laughter more because they both knew Yifan was much stronger, and could overtake him at any time if he wanted to.

But he didn’t, and Baekhyun was happy.

~~~~~~

“Hyung! Hyung! Hyung, Hyung!”

Taeyong pursed his lips before turning to give Jisung a hand, well, pulling a four year old through a window really wasn’t the best thing, but he did it anyway.

“You better not tell anyone about this,” He growled, pulling Jisung into his lap.

The view on top of this house wasn’t as nice as some of the temporary housing they had stayed at on the way to Alexandria, but it was still calming, and it was nice to see things from up here.

“Do you see that?”

“Star!” Jisung chirped, rolling onto his side and laying his cheek on Taeyongs thigh, “Hyung, moon!”

“That’s right,” Taeyong murmured, laying a hand on Jisungs side and briefly realizing how bad of an idea it was to bring Jisung up here. “Hyung really likes the stars, you should too.”

“Why?” The toddler wondered, little arms wrapped around Taeyong’s knee tightly.

Taeyong frowned as he thought over his answer, “I just… you know when you have nothing, like when we didn’t have any more crackers for you and we had to eat that gross soup? Remember it was all grass and leaves and water?”

“Yucky!”

“Yeah,” The teenager agreed with a grimace, “But when you don’t have anything you can still have the stars every night. And… sometimes it feels like you have nothing at all, but at least the stars will come visit you, it’s not so lonely then.”

“Moon too?”

“Sometimes you can’t see the moon,” Taeyong mumbled, pulling Jisung more into his lap, “Sometimes the trees will block it, or you can’t stop and look, or… maybe the moon just isn’t out that night, but the stars always come out.”

Jisung sat up, and Taeyong swore his heart jumped in fear when the toddler wiggled the smallest bit to turn around, but Jisung was only throwing his arms around Taeyongs neck, “Won’t be ‘lone! Hyung have me!”

Taeyong snorted, pulling Jisung closer, but suddenly it felt much more than just a babble of a four year old and Taeyong sniffed, then he did again and he hadn’t cried in so long that when the tears fell they didn’t stop, “Yeah… yeah, Hyung has you, Ji.”

The moon did come out, and it felt better when he wasn’t looking at it alone.

~~~~~~

“Where have you been all day?”

Baekhyun's smile dropped and he pressed his forehead against the door for a moment longer as he turned the lock, “I brought brownies, they're decent.”

“That’s not what we asked, baby. We thought the worst, looked for you everywhere.” Kyungsoo said gently.

The youngest sighed and turned to the dining table to his left to set his pan down and remove the groceries from his arm, “I was at Yifan and Yixing’s, baking as you can see.”

“All day?”

Baekhyun rolled his eyes and tossed his basket on the table, “Chanyeol, I was baking. Am I not allowed to go to peoples houses now? What? You want to lock me up too?”

He didn’t hear a response and turned around to the living room with raised brows, “Well? You want to follow me around all day? Sucks, it would be really boring to just see me take a nap.”

“We heard about what happened this morning in the pantry, we were worried.” Jongin explained, leaning into his knees with a sigh and rubbing his temple.

“Really? Or was it that Sehun said they left me with Yifan that has you so upset? Searching for something? I have nothing to say, we talked, I baked at his house and took a nap there. Have fun with that.” Baekhyun spat, starting towards the stairs.

“Baek,” Chanyeol muttered in a tone Baekhyun had to stop and sigh about, because it was so pitiful, “Stop. We know you didn’t do anything, of course you didn’t. Yifan wouldn’t touch you.”

Baekhyun knew he should have felt relieved they weren’t upset, but something about it didn’t sit well with him.

_Yifan wouldn’t touch you._

Why? Why wouldn’t he?

Of course he wouldn’t, because he was _Baekhyun_ , there was nothing worth wanting.

“I’m going to sleep,” He said, turning to rush upstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the people that asked me to continue into part two don’t even read this anymore, either way I hope you’re enjoying it.


	65. The Plan

  
“Are you scared?”

Baekhyun twisted his lips and shook his head a small bit as he shoved more supplies into backpacks, “I… I trust you’ll be safe.”

Jongin nodded with a small smile, but Baekhyun found that recently his smiles weren’t like they used to be. “We will be.”

“You better be, Hyung.” Baekhyun whispered, groaning at the heaviness of the bag as he turned to give it to Jongin, “And… watch Chanyeol please, you know he… thinks he’s invincible or some shit.”

“Taeyong isn’t too far behind,” The elder snorted, grasping Baekhyun's chin between his fingers, “But they’ll both be fine.”

“Well I hope so,” Baekhyun cried playfully, wrapping his arms around Jongin's waist and sighing as he laid his cheek against the man’s chest, “Minseok better not crash that goddamn bike, Deanna will be pissed, and Sehun and Tae-“

“Hey,” Jongin crooned, cupping the back of his neck and pressing a kiss to Baekhyun's hair, “Taehyung will only be sitting in the car, keeping Sehun company, nothings going to happen to either of them.”

“You don’t know that.”

Jongin sighed, nodding discreetly in agreement and grasping Baekhyun's cheek to peck his mouth, resting their noses together, “Despite everything, still love you.”

“Still love you.” Baekhyun mimicked, kissing the corner of Jongin's lips and pulling away to the pile of backpacks he was enlisted to prepare - he got an easy part in the plan, so he should be happy.

But, overall he was sort of upset he couldn’t come help too, couldn't go help lead the walkers away, but it was for good reason - he was unstable, unpredictable, in the blink of an eye he could be having a breakdown and risking them all.

It wasn’t safe if he went, even if it wasn’t going to be safe if he didn’t go either.

Baekhyun hadn’t even ever gotten to see the pit of walkers, he truthfully had been too wide eyed and afraid of doing something disastrous to tag along.

“Hey, you already packed up? We aren’t leaving for a good hour or two?”

Baekhyun brushed off his own worries to send a bashful grin Chanyeol's way, “I’m well prepared.”

“I know, gorgeous.” The man chirped, his arm coming to wrap around Baekhyun's waist so tightly the smallers feet came off the ground along with a light laugh and hands scattering to Chanyeol's shoulders.

“Alright don’t break him now,” Jongin snickered and started up towards the stairs.

Chanyeol only laughed and picked Baekhyun up, hands going under his soulmates thighs, and Baekhyun grinned because it had been a while since they had been playful together.

He moved so Baekhyun's back pressed into the kitchen wall and they didn’t have much to say, couldn’t find words to say because everytime they wanted to address the elephant in the room something got worse.

And this wasn’t a time for things to get worse, it was a time to appreciate things while you could.

Even if Baekhyun found himself at fault for their unreasonable arguing, because even he didn’t know the reason he was so offended most of the time. And he didn’t know the reasons his soulmates were changing so much.

Or not changing at all, Baekhyun didn’t know which was worse.

“Be careful, Hyung. No stupid shit.”

“Don’t worry,” Chanyeol mumbled, palms burning through Baekhyun's jeans as he ran hands soothingly over his thighs, noses bumping, “There’s no way we wouldn’t make it back for you, just watch Taeyong, bond or something.”

“I will,” Baekhyun said, but it sounded more pitiful than he meant for it too, so he just pressed their foreheads together instead.

~~~~~~

“Hey? Hey, I didn’t expect to see you.”

Baekhyun laughed when Yifan’s ears reddened and he moved to open the front door faster.

The younger could have walked in, he knew so, but it was good he hadn’t because Yifan was only wearing low hanging sweats and looked to be just waking up, Baekhyun felt a little guilty looking at him longer than needed.

All those months in the forest really didn’t give privacy when they had to shower in streams, so it wasn’t like Baekhyun had never seen Yifan in as little - and even less - than this, and the man had seen Baekhyun in much less, but it all felt so different when it was inside an actual house and they both smelt better than dirt and sweat.

Something felt different.

“What’s up, Baek? We have coffee… and… uh…” Yifan moved to the kitchen, scratching his chest with a yawn and opening cabinets.

Baekhyun chewed his lip and drew his eyes away from the man’s back, it flexed in a way that Chanyeol's did, all raw muscle, but Yifan’s waist was thin and narrower, Baekhyun suddenly felt he needed run back and tell his soulmates an apology - even though he had done nothing.

“I just came to give you your bag,” Baekhyun mumbled, placing the backpack on the ground by the door because it was too heavy for him to be carrying around any longer, and walking into the kitchen, “I’ll take coffee though.”

Yifan hummed an acknowledging noise and Baekhyun looked away to fiddle with a decorative vase on the island.

“Taeyong said this morning that he was taking a rifle from the armory, I told him it might be a bit too loud, and he’d only be drawing walkers in, but he was adamant he wanted one.”

“Rifles can fire rapidly, it’s a smart choice. Still think he’s going to be knocked on his ass from recoil one day?”

Baekhyun laughed in embarrassment, barely recalling an argument he had with Taeyong in the forest about such large weapons, it didn’t matter now though. “If I haven’t gotten knocked in my ass yet, I don’t think he will.”

“Poor Baekhyun,” Yifan muttered teasingly, leaning on his elbows to slide a coffee mug across, “Everyone is bigger than you, if anyone gets knocked down by recoil, it’s you, sweetheart.”

The younger pouted his lips even though Yifan was right, “Hyung!” He whined.

The elder only snickered at him, and Baekhyun could feel the eyes in the side of his face as he set his cup down to look at the walls.

Their home had been completely cleaned of all previous owners, all proof someone had owned the home in the first place.

But Yifan’s wasn’t, there were photos on the walls, family pictures, a wife, husband, two kids, a dog.

It wasn’t fair.

“Do you ever… you ever look at these?”

Baekhyun heard Yifan moving to stand behind him, his arm coming to touch the side of the frame, “There’s… photo albums, I found them in the attic. Sometimes I just… look at them, you know? Does that sound creepy? These people… they’re long dead, they’re gone, but I just wonder… how much of the happiness displayed in these photos are real? How much or how often did they have to struggle? Was… was the real world as different as I remember it to be?”

Baekhyun didn’t respond for a few seconds, thinking before he turned around, “The world was easier, but relationships… they were the same. Everyone argues, everyone fights, but I guess… guess now it doesn’t matter as much? Does that make sense? If you fight now it’s important to just make sure if you go out that important people know you love them, even if you’re not on good terms.”

Yifan nodded in agreement, a small smile on his face and Baekhyun only just realized how close they were standing, and could feel the elders' warmth coming off of him, heat pouring when Yifan stepped the smallest bit closer. “I think… for someone so young when this went down, you are still the smartest person I know.”

Baekhyun laughed shyly, pushing a clump of hair behind his ear, “Thank you.”

“I mean it,” The leader muttered, fingertips brushing Baekhyun's chin, “I mean it, Baekhyun. You’re the smartest of us all, and I’m really proud that you stay with us, because we need you.”

“I’m sure I need everyone way more.”

“No,” Yifan disagreed, “No, you don’t, and that’s why it’s important that you stay with us. We need your perspective, tell us who is bad, who is untrustworthy -“

“Like bait.”

“No. Like someone who has been through a lot of shit, and knows how to tell when someone is good or bad, or has hidden intentions.”

“I..” Baekhyun gulped, “I’m really bad at that… I- I can’t tell sometimes, you know that. I killed Jiyong just for trying to kiss me, he could have been good. I didn’t know.”

“Everyone gets confused sometimes, but sometimes you reach the maximum amount of shit you can take, and you explode. Frankly, I could give two fucks about that, he was an entitled prick. If someone wants to kiss you then they should just say so, like I am.”

Baekhyun gasped slightly at the words, eyeing Yifan like he hadn’t heard him correctly, but the man was right in front of him, standing only an inch or so away.

He could easily stand on his toes and kiss him.

But did he want to?

He trusted Yifan. Trusted Yifan to the fullest, the man had saved his ass since the beginning, had seen him directly after being raped and even then didn’t bat an eye or waver in asking Baekhyun for his opinions despite his mental health declining.

Yifan knew the deepest secrets even Baekhyun couldn't hide, had read through his journal so many times and still came to ask for his newer ones.

It hurt, because he didn’t know, and it hurt because at the same time he did.

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry - fuck, I’m sorry.”

Baekhyun jumped and his hands squeezed Yifan’s forearms at Yixing coming down the stairs and holding a bunch of books, instantly turning red even though he hadn’t done anything - they were only talking.

“Great,” Yifan drawled, stepping away and going towards the backpack Baekhyun brought in, annoyance shown in his steps.

“Fuck, sorry.” Yixing repeated, “Sorry, I heard Baek come in and Taeyong wanted new books.”

“Good morning,” Baekhyun mustered up, licking his lips and walking to the bottom of the stairs to accept the books, “I was just… backpack, snacks, water - for.. for later, yeah. We were just..”

Yixing only grinned at him and pressed a kiss to his head as he walked past, “Want breakfast?”

Baekhyun nodded, and stayed pretty quiet all morning, even long after Yifan left.

~~~~~~

Taehyung and Sehun were in a car, in front of them Minseok on a motorcycle, the sound loud and vibrating.

Everything was fine, the man had his feet placed on the dashboard, gun draped across his chest and a book pressed to his nose.

Everything was fine if it weren’t for the horde of walkers crawling behind them, trailing and snarling as they attempted to race to the car and motorcycle.

But, that was the plan.

Walkers were slow, but easily distracted, so all it took was one good, loud flare to bring them out, and the thousands started trailing them at the promise of fresh blood, reacting to each other’s animalistic noises that brought more - showing them the way.

 _“Jongin, you guys at the tractor store? Need that alarm blaring soon.”_ Yifan’s voice rang through the walkie.

Jongin nor Chanyeol responded.

 _“Guys, you have to hurry. The noise could distract the herd right off the road. Talk to me.”_ The leader tried once more.

 _“We’re here.”_ Chanyeol muttered moments later, _“We’re on it, be back in ten.”_

Taehyung glanced at a side mirror, feeling reminiscent of the day Yifan had developed a plan for this.

“Now what I'm proposing, I know it sounds risky, but walkers are already slipping through the exits. One of the trucks keeping the walkers in could go off the edge any day now. Maybe after one more hard rain. That exit sends them east. All of them. Right at us. This isn't about if it gives, it's when. It's gonna happen. That's why we have to do this soon.” Yifan had said, calling the entire town to a meeting.

But, nobody believed him back then, no one that wasn’t their own group, so it took a lot of convincing, but it was obvious now - now that all of the walkers were parading behind them that Yifan had been right.

If these walkers made it to their walls they were fucked, it would all fall.

The cars they had blocking the East exit would hold for a while, and right about now some of the group should be going back towards them to pick off the strays, but should the walkers crawl towards the East, between the cars or knocking down their makeshift fortifications - they’d be screwed.

“Got some fuckers taking a little walk off the shoulder. They started a damn walkout.” Taehyung growled.

Sehun raised a brow and looked in the rear view window, “Walkie Minseok to circle back.”

“No.” Taehyung muttered, opening his car door.

“Hey!” Sehun shouted, watching the mirror as Taehyung jumped out, the car was moving like a slug, so that wasn’t the problem. “Fucking shit.”

The problem was there were thousands of walkers behind them, only meters away and Taehyung was just standing their shooting at the strays.

Sehun frantically kept checking the mirrors, debating on stopping but that was a deathwish, and only a moment later Taehyung was jumping back into the car, out of breath and laughing.

“Did - you see that!”

“What the hell are you thinking?” Sehun snarled, glancing at Taehyung reloading his rifle.

The man snorted, “I’m living, just like you.”

Sehun turned to look at him, and quickly looked away, worry painting his features.

~~~~~~

“Okay, listen up.” Yifan began, huddling the group together just inside the forest beside the road thousands of walkers snarled and groaned on.

“It's working. You were right.” Carter cried.

The leader stifled a laugh, but nodded at the man, “Everyone, we need to finish this. We have to keep moving and fan out down that thing front to back. Like we said, cops at a parade. Chanyeol, you take the back. You got the other walkie.”

“Got it.”

“If it gets sloppy, we fire our weapons, pull them back on track. I'll hit the front.” Yifan paused to search the people’s faces before wiping the sweat off his forehead and nodding, “Okay, one after the other.”

The group split, with Yifan walking with a few Alexandria citizens, breaking up with yards in between them as they walked hidden in the tree line but watching the walkers continue along the road.

Thousands of walkers not even thirty feet from the tree line.

And, at the end of the group Chanyeol and Jongin followed up the rear, picking off strays silently and carefully watching the few citizens that looked near tears being so close to the walkers.

Pathetic really.

Originally, this was supposed to be their group only, but Deanna said in an effort to show community that they needed to do it as an entire group, not as a separate entity.

Yifan hadn’t liked that, none of them did really, but if more lives were lost - it wasn’t their problem.

And, almost like a bad joke, a scream rang out.

Growling, Chanyeol turned to take off towards the noise, a few walkers pulling out to the cluster towards the woods and he cursed.

Carter was screaming, a walker attached to him.

“Oh, fuck,” He heard Jongin curse behind him and Chanyeol ran over to grab the walker.

But the damage had been done.

Carter’s cheek was bitten clean through, and it was too late, much too late, but he wouldn’t shut up.

“Sh, shut up, sh, sh.” Chanyeol shushed, pulling the man down to the forest floor, “Man, shut up, shut up!”

Walkers started coming their way and Chanyeol could head Jongin getting rid of them, but it would be too much for much longer.

He grimaced and grabbed his knife from his thigh, pressing Carter’s head into his shoulder and stabbing straight into the base of his skull, sitting back and sighing in relief when the screaming stopped and walkers looked less interested.

 _“The hell was that screaming?”_ Yifan’s voice rang out.

“Carter, we took care of it.” Jongin answered, rubbing walkers blood into his pants before turning to offer Chanyeol a hand, “Bitten right in the face, too late for him.”

 _“Not too late for us,”_ Came Minseok's loud reply, the sound of his ride louder than him.

Nobody else responded, not that there was more to say.

In the front of the group Yifan turned to send a warning look to Nicholas, still unsure why he was here even when Kyungsoo had sat this one out, still too beaten to take part in such strenuous activity.

“Hey, stay where I can see you.” He ordered.

“Don’t trust me?”

“You tried to kill one of my family, did kill one, so no - I don’t fucking trust you. The only reason your ass is out here is because of Deanna, so don’t fuck it up.” Yifan growled, hand tensing up but he just shook it out uncomfortably.

Nicholas scoffed, “Listen I’m not out here for you. Trust me, I know you’d rather have me dead, pretty sure all your group is the same.”

“Then why are you?”

“Kyungsoo.. he - I owe him, okay? I didn’t, despite what everyone things I didn’t fucking mean to kill Jimin, and I was afraid of getting kicked out so I attacked Kyungsoo… i- I’m learning. But, I might not like you… but I can agree that… that we weren’t as ready as we thought we were before you guys arrived.”

“That’s what shit does to you,” Yifan muttered shortly, “Outside isn’t what you think. It’s live or die, and if you want to live then you will listen to us.”

Nicholas pursed his lips, giving an irritated nod, but didn’t have time to respond.

Not when suddenly something was loud, ringing.

“What the hell is that?” Yifan cried into the radio.

 _“It's a horn or something. It's pulling the back half off the road.”_ He heard Chanyeol frantically.

The leader cursed, readying to tell them to come meet back up when another response came.

_“Whatever that is, it's far.”_

“ _Hyung_.” Came Taehyung’s voice, a bit shaky, _“It sounds like it's coming from home.”_

“Chanyeol, Jongin meet up here. Sehun, Minseok… keep going, we’re going to deal with this. We can’t let all of them get away, half of them leaving… we’re already in deep shit - do not stop.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... what’d you think about Yifan tho...


	66. Just Survive Somehow

  
Taeyong shoved his hands into his pockets as he walked around the community.

It was weird to be somewhere so… normal, people talked about what to make for dinner, what community gathering should be next, what they wished they could watch on television.

Pathetic things. Weak things.

Truthfully, Taeyong was plenty pissed he wasn’t in the forest right at this moment, helping them get the walkers safely past the community, it felt reminiscent of when he wasn’t allowed to do much of anything at the camp and before the prison.

But, one day it just… worked.

He just got up, and tried like any other day to ask someone to teach him how to shoot.

And he didn’t know what changed, but remembered that Jongin agreed, and he was surprised, overly so, when Baekhyun didn’t tell him no.

Sometimes things just change, and that’s how it was.

Just like how weird it was to see kids his own age, there were two of them.

Mikey, and Ron. Taeyong wasn’t much interested in people his own age, hell, he’d rather play with Jisung, a four year old, all day than interact with these guys.

Their first interaction Taeyong had been a stuttering mess, the first day he entered the walls.

He knew they must have thought he was weird, but he just… he had things that were familiar to him, and talking about video games as they had tried to do, and then a pool table? He had no idea and had felt so out of place.

He left Ron's house without much of a goodbye, a complete loser and hadn’t told anyone how awkward the encounter was. Because he would look like a complete idiot.

At least they didn’t bother him much more these days, not since… well, not since Yifan killed Ron’s father.

Instead it was mostly hard looks and Taeyong wasn’t scared of anything, especially not some wanna be hard teenagers, but something about the looks made him feel… different, like he needed to apologize.

Which was bullshit because he wasn’t the one that killed Pete, and truthfully Ron’s dad was a dick so he really didn’t give a fuck.

It just made for a hell of an uncomfortable walk home.

“Hey.”

Taeyong nodded, pressing his mouth in a tight line as he walked through the front door, Baekhyun was standing there with a dirty dish in his hand.

“Where’d you go? I just put in meatloaf, so when that timer goes off let me know to pull it.”

“Went on a walk.” Taeyong muttered shortly, taking a seat across the island where Baekhyun was washing dishes.

“Yeah? It’s pretty out there. You go see Jessie’s son?”

Baekhyun sounded so hopeful, Taeyong clicked his tongue, “Yup,” He lied, “Hyung still sick?”

“I think he has a bit of a fever, probably from overworking and not recovering. Nobody listens to me anymore.” Baekhyun joked.

“Hey, Hyung?”

“Yeah?”

Taeyong shuffled uncomfortably, crossing his arms and leaning over the counter, “Is it bad when I think… I don’t think I’ll ever want a soulmate, and I don’t think I ever want to have friends either. I don’t really… I don’t want to know more people.”

Baekhyun tilted his head and shut the water off, “I mean… you can’t, Tae, you can’t just rely on us… you never know whe-“

“I know, I know, but I think even after.. even if it’s just me, I’m going to keep it that way.”

Baekhyun went to respond when a scream rang out outside.

Him and Taeyong froze, staring at each other when a second one happened.

“They’re coming in from all over!” They heard screamed.

Baekhyun gulped and turned to run to the hall closet, “Okay, you stay here and protect them.” He ordered, pulling out guns and shoving a rifle at Taeyong. “Just stay here and keep Jisung safe, I can wake up-“

“I got it.” Taeyong interrupted, snatching a second cartridge from Baekhyun's hands.

“Okay,” Baekhyun whispered, grabbing Taeyongs cheek to kiss his temple, “They come through those doors, you kill them.”

The teenager nodded, and Baekhyun cursed when he realized all he had at the moment was a pistol since he had packed guns for Jongin and Chanyeol that morning.

Taeyong wasn’t scared, not even as Baekhyun walked right into the chaos, only pacing back and forth between the backdoor and front door.

These houses were huge, there was way too much to protect.

He felt shivers run up his spine when the backdoor knob started to shake, instantly raising his gun up.

But his anger was short lived when Luhan fell through the door, wide eyed and blood on his shirt, “Fuck, where’s Baekhyun?”

“God I could’ve killed you.” Taeyong growled, huffing.

“I brought these, didn’t want them to have them.” Luhan explained, setting two guns on the counter, “Yixing is on the way, he’s trying to get more guns.”

“That’s what my brother is doing.”

“Fuck, I should go hel-“

Luhan was cut off by Taeyong shoving a gun towards his chest, “You’re going to help me protect the house. Sit down.”

Taeyong sent him a raised brow look and took a seat on the floor, facing the front door, and after a moment of consideration, Luhan sighed and sat down, back pressing against the teenagers to watch the back door.

“Nobody is getting in this house,” Taeyong murmured, “We’re not gonna let them in.”

“They’re just people,” Luhan whispered.

“They got in the walls, but they’re gonna die.”

“They had W’s on their foreheads, they look like fucking animals, came in swinging without a word. Don’t ever let that be us, Taeyong.”

~~~~~~

Baekhyun was on a mission.

But it was hard when there were psychopaths slamming peoples heads into walls, blood spattering.

He resisted the urge to puke, and a plus about him being so small was that he was silent.

These people were not even attempting to be discreet. They were beating people’s heads in in the middle of the street, animalistically chaining people up like they were dogs.

Baekhyun wanted to go help, and knew he could.

But couldn’t risk it with only five bullets and a pocket knife, not until he got to the armory.

He nearly threw up as he started slinking behind the buildings, blood and bodies were just stacking up, and it didn’t even look like these people had any ulterior motive other than just wanting to kill people.

But, they didn’t have guns. They had makeshift weapons.

Baekhyun could deal with that.

He pressed his back against a building, moving to cover his mouth with his hand as he eyed the back of a man on the back porch, hovering over a woman’s body.

The house used to be yellow, but not the wood would be stained red.

He gulped, making a quick decision to grab his knife as it was quieter and walk up the stairs.

The man turned around, and Baekhyun could have thrown up at the man’s teeth rotting from his head, forehead having a deep carved W and looking at him like he was a toy.

“Who are you?”

“I’m a wolf, boy.”

Baekhyun clenched his jaw and held his knife tighter, “Leave. I’m giving you a chance.”

The man laughed, rotting teeth on show, “That’s not our code. You have to die, you all have to die.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s how wolves work.”

The man shuffled the smallest bit, blood dripping off his hands and Baekhyun saw him reach for his metal bar and lunged, he kicked the man in the head, barely getting much of a reaction until he swung his arm out and pushed the man’s head into the porch and shoved his knife into his skull so deep it stuck.

“I gave you a chance,” Baekhyun whispered, covered in blood now - both this man’s and his victims.

“Asshole,” He added, stripping the man of his ragged cloak to put on, pulling the hood over his head and grimacing as he traced a W onto his forehead in the man’s blood, grabbing the metal rod the man had as a weapon.

To run with wolves, you had to be one.

Baekhyun scrambled out of there, ducking his head and mostly looking at the ground.

Armory, armory, armory. He needed guns, needed to fight back.

“Tasty! Tasty tasty!”

“Run doggy! Let’s play!”

Shrill screams rang out and Baekhyun couldn't ignore one cry, a familiar one.

His head shot over towards the garden and cursed as he ran over to Jungkook.

The man was pinned to the ground, one of these wolves straddling his back and attempting to chain him up.

“Fuck,” Baekhyun cried, running over and delivering a bullet into the man’s head before quickly pulling his hood down.

“No! No!” Jungkook screamed, turning onto his back and putting his hands up.

Baekhyun couldn't recall anyone of their group surrendering.

It made him sick.

“It’s me,” Baekhyun whispered, getting closer so Jungkook could see, “I need your help.”

Jungkook deflated like a balloon, panting and Baekhyun pulled his hood back over when he heard running footsteps, “You’re fucking crazy,” Jungkook commented.

“I’m chaining you up,” Baekhyun whispered, grabbing the chain that was already partially around Jungkook's wrist, “Well… here, I’m putting my knife in your waistband, and hold the chain, make it look like you’re scared. Cry. We’re getting to the armory.”

“That won’t be hard, I almost died two seconds ago.”

Baekhyun would’ve laughed at his tone if the younger wasn’t already tearing up as he pulled him to his feet.

“Come on, Kook. Don’t worry, I got you.”

Him and Jungkook started toward the armory, and everything about it felt wrong down to the blood sloshing around in Baekhyun's shoes to the way he made Jungkook come along like a pet.

“Good catch, Aphid!” One of the wolves patted him on the arm and Baekhyun sucked his breath in and tugged harder at Jungkook to be more realistic.

Who the fuck thought this was fun?

All these people were doing was killing people, slaughtering them and stealing their supplies.

If they wanted help they could have been given it.

“Hey, Aphid, where’d you get the gun?”

Baekhyun freaked out, grabbing the gun from his pocket and shooting the woman point blank, right in the center of her forehead.

“Let’s go,” He cried, turning to help Jungkook out.

They ran into the armory and Baekhyun was truthfully surprised they had even gotten that far.

He ran to the sliding doors and yanked Jungkook in before closing them and grabbing a cloth bag, beginning to fill it with guns and ammo, “Okay. Look, I know you might be scared -“

“Not scared,” Jungkook denied, “Fucking pissed.”

“Good,” Baekhyun muttered, “Need you to stay here and protect the armory. Got it? You good if I have you do that?”

“I’ll shoot those fuckers if they even touch the doorknob.”

Baekhyun sighed and turned to pat Jungkook's hair, pulling the cloth bag onto his arm and grabbing the sliding doors, “As soon as I leave you shut these and don’t dare open them again.”

He saw Jungkook gulp, and turned to walk out, hearing the doors slam behind him.

He didn’t give a fuck anymore, keeping the hood pulled down as he grabbed a rifle from the bag, and if he saw one of those fuckers, he shot.

They didn’t have guns, but he did.

“Fuck you! Get off me, fucker!”

Baekhyun spun around and went towards the scream when suddenly a noise started blaring, loud, ear stinging.

He was torn, but when the voice cursed out again Baekhyun ran towards it.

Junmyeon was sprawled on the ground, crawling away, and Baekhyun growled as he ran over and kicked the woman away from him, he stepped on her hand to keep it there and she screamed out.

Baekhyun dropped everything in his hands and grabbed her hair to slam her head into the dirt once, and again. She screeched in anger and scratched at him but he only cried out in pain and hit her again.

A shot rang out a moment later and Baekhyun heaved before rolling over to grab his bag of guns, “I had it.”

“No you didn’t,” Yixing commented, grabbing his arm to pull him up, “God. I didn’t recognize you, fuck you stink.”

Baekhyun laughed breathily, “Shut up and take the guns. Jungkook and I went through so much work for those.”

“Let’s kill these fuckers then, not many left,” He looked up and didn’t know how to explain how relieved he was when Zitao and Jongdae were helping Junmyeon up, looking like they had a hell of a rough time, but he probably looked no better.

“What the hell is that fucking noise?” Baekhyun groaned, holding his scratched hand towards his chest.

“Fuckers tried to drive a truck through the fence, it’s stuck.”

Just as Jongdae finished that sentence the horn stopped, and Baekhyun sagged in relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet y’all didn’t know Baek was a badass.


	67. Thank You

  
The group was running through the forest now, full speed towards home.

The problem was that a lot of walkers were going towards the horn - towards home.

“Fuck, it was more than half!” Olivia screamed.

“They walk, we run!” Chanyeol yelled back.

A high pitched cry rang out, and one of the girls fell down.

“Fuck, you okay?” Yifan asked, running back down to grab her.

“Twisted my ankle again,” Tara cried, grabbing his arm.

The leader sighed, throwing her arm around his neck, “We have to keep going.”

“It's coming from back home. It has to be.” The group stopped at the man’s outrageous cry, one of Carter’s good friends Heath, “He did this. He brought us all out here to die.” He cried hysterically and pointed at Yifan.

“He killed Carter.” He added.

“Carter was dead already.” Jongin growled defensive m.

“Now they're in trouble back there and we're done. We're as good as dead.” Heath continued, almost hyperventilating.

“Hey, calm down. What the hell are you talking about?” Yifan snarled, placing the girl against a tree.

“We are done. And it's 'cause of him.”

“Shut up and move.” Chanyeol ordered.

Instead the group of three citizens only stared at them, like they betrayed them.

“All right, listen up.” Yifan said firmly, “Here's the new plan. I go back, get the RV, circle around the woods on Redding. I'll get in front of them before they get there. I can lead them away again.”

“RV's a mile back. I can go with you.” Chanyeol offered.

Yifan brushed him off, “I'll handle it. Just get them home. They might need you here.”

Chanyeol sighed, running a dirty palm over his hair.

Yifan nodded when suddenly the horn stopped and he furrowed his brow and turned to nod and walk away from the group a bit, “Jongin, Chanyeol. If something's in front of you, you kill it. No hiding, no waiting. You keep going.”

“I'm going with you. You can't do this on your own.”

“Chanyeol, I can do this.” Yifan sighed, “You need to help me. We've got to get these people back. Thing is, they aren't all gonna make it. You try to save them, you try, but they can't keep up, you keep going. You have to. You make sure you get back.”

The two stared at him with worry before Jongin nodded and sighed, reaching out to pat Yifan’s arm, “Get back safe.”

“You too.”

~~~~~~

“We’re ten minutes ahead of the horde, maybe twenty.” Jongin stated, panting as he helped Tara hobble along.

At least it was on solid ground now.

They had got out of the forest, but not without tension and a struggle.

“Hey, I need to get back, man, I have a husband back home.” They heard Richard state, a large man that did more worrying than helping.

“Us too,” Chanyeol hissed, leaving no room for him to say anything else.

“You think Yifan is back by now?” Nicholas asked, Jongin only gave him a pursed lip stare and ignored the question.

Chanyeol pursed his lips and didn’t know why, but felt guilty for snapping, sighing he turned to Richard, “How long have you been married?”

“About.. three months, he’s not my husband… from before,” Richard explained, “You?”

“Not.. I’m not that sure,” Chanyeol frowned, “Two years now? Three? I… he's not from before either, met him during. You’ve probably seen him, names Baekhyun, doesn’t really talk much though.”

“The little one, with the baby?”

Chanyeol chuckled and heard Jongin echo a laugh, because Baekhyun would be known like that, “Yeah, the little one with the baby that would probably knock you flat on your ass if he ever heard that.”

Richard laughed, and Chanyeol felt much more relieved even if Heath glared into his back.

“How’d you meet?” Jongin called towards them from behind them.

“Here, let me have a turn,” Nicholas offered, grabbing Taras arm and Jongin let her go and sighed as he stretched his arms out.

“I was alone, lost everything. Everyone. Myself, I-- I wasn't crazy. I just gave up on being someone, an actual person. Know what I mean?”

“I do.” Jongin whispered.

Richard smiled, “We found Thomas on the way back to the community. He still saw me. After I thought I was dead and gone, he was my first friend. Then he was more. He made me more. Even better than how I used to be. But if I could make it back, I'd want to say good-bye. Tell him... finding him in all this, that was everything.”

Chanyeol and Jongin shared a glance but neither said a thing, Chanyeol only pat the man’s back and nodded to let him know he heard.

“Hey, wait!” Nicholas suddenly called, “I’ve been here before. We need to stop and patch Tara up.”

“No. We stay on foot,” Jongin said firmly, “Yifan knows what he's doing and he said for us to go on.”

“No, he’s right,” Heath cut in, “She needs to get patched up, we need to stop and find her something.”

“Fine.” Chanyeol grumbled.

~~~~~~

Nicholas cursed as he walked back into the pet feed store they were hunkering down in.

Heath had been right, Tara’s leg was fucked and definitely much more than a sprain, she needed medical help, and soon.

“Those walkers in the alley and down the street, they're blocking the way out of town. We can't take then on, not in the shape that we're in.” Nicholas sighed, crouching out of sight of the walkers outside, “We'll have to lead them away if we have to.”

“So much for we’re ahead of the horde, huh?” Heath scoffed.

Chanyeol twisted his lips, “Hey, we’re trying here, I’m not giving up.”

“My bad, calculation error,” Jongin murmured guiltily.

It wasn’t truly his fault, how could you estimate how close walkers were when they were out of sight, and as soon as Nicholas started leading them into a small town all hell broke loose and they had to break into the first place available.

A busted down pet food store definitely wasn’t their first choice.

“Yeah, not yet.” Heath growled, Chanyeol frowned at the man, confused about his words but only clenched his jaw.

“Hey, I was thinking, if we can find a way to distract the herd coming in, then they won't make it back to the community.” Jongin mumbled.

“How?” Tara asked with a hiss of pain at Richard wrapping up her leg.

Jongin laid his head back against the shelves, sighing, “Burn one of the buildings. Hopefully more. They'll get drawn to it and they'll stop here.”

“It's gonna take some time. I'll do it.” Chanyeol agreed, standing to his feet. “You stay with them.”

“It's my plan. It's on me.”

Chanyeol looked at him like he was insane, grabbing his arm, and pulling him what little bit he could away from the group, “What about Baekhyun?”

“That's why I'm doing this.” Jongin growled, shaking his head, “You've got to get everybody back. You're the one who can. If I take too long, you just go.”

“I'm not leaving without you. That is not the way this works.” Chanyeol scoffed in disbelief, gently shoving his arm like he was crazy.

“I will meet you there. If I get stuck out here, I'll find some way to show you guys I'm okay. We all have a job to do.”

Chanyeol swallowed hard and gave a minuscule, reluctant nod.

Someone shuffled rather loudly against the dirt covered floor and both of them turned to Nicholas alerted.

The man raised both hands, “There's a wood store. It's old. A lot of dry stuff inside. It should go up easy. I'll go with you. I can-- I can draw a map.”

Jongin sighed and looked at Chanyeol, thinking.

If they were going to get out of this, they’d have to take a risk, even if Nicholas had been known to fuck Kyungsoo over numerous of times - in some ways he had been helpful, especially leading them to this town, despite it's infestation. “No. You lead the way. Just gotta do one thing first.” Jongin nodded, passing Nicholas to pat his arm and grab the walkie.

He moved to sit by the back rooms, only aisles over from the others, but it was the most privacy he could get.

“ _Yifan_ ,” He began, “ _It’s Jongin. Listen, We're in a town five degrees east of the green marker. If you get around on Redding in the next 20 minutes, you should be good. I think that's how far we're ahead of the herd. I'm gonna try to set a fire and distract them. If you don't see smoke, they're still coming your way, towards home._ ” He licked his lips and cupped around his mouth even though they could probably all hear him, “ _Look, if I don’t make it back, you gotta take care of Baekhyun for me, got it? I mean it, you have to take care of him._

_Gotta go, dumbass. Get home safe.”_

He waited a minute, no response yet. Jongin sighed and dropped his forehead to his knee.

“It’s the right thing,” Chanyeol mumbled, even if there wasn’t much they could really say.

~~~~~~

Yifan was running, running along the street by the time Jongin's message came in, he was running right past a walker knawing on a dead bird when he huffed and panted as he leaned over his knees.

“- _gotta take care of Baekhyun for me, got it? I mean it, you have to take care of him.”_

The leader gulped dryly, unknowing when he became so transparent, and turned to stomp the crawling walkers head when it was too close for comfort.

“ _Gotta go, dumbass. Get home safe.”_

Yifan laughed under his breath, wiping sweat pouring from the tip of his nose to pause and dig through the walkers pockets.

It had an old pocket knife, a pack of cigarettes, and a candy bar, around it's neck was a military pendant.

He didn’t know why, but he took that too.

He panted another breath before grabbing his radio, “I’m making it, I have a few more miles to the RV, but I’ll get there.”

Yifan waited a second, licking his lips before bringing the walkie back to his mouth, “Guess… guess I have nothing to confess, huh?” He tried to joke before shaking his head, “A promise is a promise, man. Told you guys I’d take care of them, him and Taeyong. Better get both your asses back before dark, idiots.”

Jongin didn’t respond, but over the static Yifan heard he didn’t know if they even received it.

~~~~~~

“You guys should just leave me, I’ll slow you down.” Tara whispered.

“Me too, I have asthma… I don’t, I don’t know if I can run for so long.” Richard added.

Heath glared at him, “No.”

“Come on, man, wake up. You don't want to do it now, you do it out there. We get into trouble again, you run. And you don't look back.”

Chanyeol looked up from where he was peeking out the window.

“No, if we go, we go together. We got each other's backs just like always. Okay, we don't leave people behind. Not us.” Heath growled, glancing at Chanyeol.

The man furrowed his brows, “No one is leaving anyone behind. I'm gonna find something for you, Tara.” Chanyeol stated, a burn building up in his chest as he turned to walk down the aisles, pulling random things that could be a crutch down.

A few moments later he saw Heath stomp past him and Chanyeol clenched his jaw and followed him, “Hey. Do you have a problem with me?”

“I'm just looking out for my people.”

“And you think that I'm not?”

“Look, I heard what Yifan said.”

Chanyeol shrugged and leaned against the wall, “Which part?”

Heath sighed and turned to him with an angry expression, “How they wouldn't all make it. They meaning us and not you. How you should leave us behind if we can't keep up.”

Chanyeol’s nostrils flared as he clenched his hand around a metal shelf, “Jongin is out there risking his life for you and for everyone else and I'm still here, so I don't know what the hell you're talking about.”

“Things are gonna get worse and then we'll see.” Heath commented offhandedly.

“Yeah, we will. Yifan said what he said because sometimes you don't have a choice.”

“That is not how we do it.”

“Because you've never had to do it any other way.” Chanyeol growled in a whisper.

He heard Heath scoff and felt his face turn red with anger, “You haven't been through it, not really. Not like us. Not like me, not like Yifan, we were out there. I was out there. We know, you don't. But if you don't learn, you will die, we will.”

“I've been doing runs from the start, okay? I know what it's like.”

It was Chanyeol's turn to laugh now, shaking his head, “Have you ever had to kill people because they had already killed your friends and were coming for you next? Have you ever done things that made you feel afraid of yourself afterward? Have you ever been covered in so much blood that you didn't know if it was yours or walkers' or your friends'?

Then you don't know.”

~~~~~~

“You’re shitting me.” Jongin cursed as him and Nicholas approached the wood store they had been wanting to burn up, he cursed and ran hands through his hair, “There’s got to be another place.”

Because this one was already burnt down, already falling to pieces.

“I.. I…” Nicholas stumbled.

Suddenly the distant sound of gunshots rang out and Jongin turned to Nicholas wide eyed, “Fuck, that must be home.”

“Get us the fuck out of here,” Jongin added, walkers being drawn more towards them due to the gunfire on the side of town they had ran to.

“Uh… uh..”

Jongin growled and shook Nicholas’ arm.

“This way!” The man cried, pointing down an alley.

Jongin followed without a second thought because he hadn’t ever been here before, didn’t know anything.

But it seemed the infestation was closer than they thought and they turned a corner only to be backed in.

“Fuck,” Jongin growled, shooting at a few walkers and yanking Nicholas’ arm.

“We gotta go. We gotta keep going. We don't have a choice. We don't have a choice.” He screamed, pulling Nicholas more into an alley.

They were trapped like mice in a cage, on one end of the alley snarling walkers, and the other a huge concrete fence, signaling the dead end.

Jongin's heart sped up and the only choice he saw was a tall dumpster and threw his gun up to climb, “Come on! Up here! Up here!” He screamed, grabbing Nicholas’ arm.

He then turned to try and shoo off walkers, stomping on their hands and shooting those he could, hands grabbed their legs, reaching from every angle for them.

“Help me!” Jongin yelled when he realized Nicholas was just standing there, dazed and in shock.

They were surrounded by hundreds of walkers, Jongin was fucking shocked too but he wasn’t willing to give up yet.

Not when he had so much to lose.

“Nicholas!”

“Hey, Nicholas! Nicholas!”

Jongin choked on a breath as he turned to grab Nicholas’ collar, “Look at me. Hey, look at me! Look at me! Hey! Hey! Nicholas! Look at me!”

“Look at me!” He yelled over the walkers snarling.

Distantly, Nicholas reached up to grab Jongin's wrist and detach him.

Jongin watched the man’s glossy eyes shake and Jongin immediately started shaking his head, because he had seen this look before.

“Thank you, you all taught us so much.”

“No!” Jongin screamed, lunging to grab Nicholas’ arm, but it was too late, and the man already had his gun pointed at his own forehead.

He pulled the trigger and Jongin flinched as his face was covered in blood, screaming that was turning into sobs.

Nicholas’ body was beginning to fall and Jongin couldn't handle the weight.

They both fell, Nicholas’ body lying on top of him as he screamed and sobbed, walkers spreading guts all around them to feast.

“ _Hey, Jongin_.” Jongin's walkie went off, but was drowned out by all the noise. “ _Need you to check in. I’m just outside the walls now, I’ll update you, looks like that horn was a truck after all, all smashed to hell. You’re going to laugh when you see it.”_

 _“Looks like Minseok, Sehun, and Taehyung are_ _back too, just let me know how things are going, man. I don’t see any smoke.”_


	68. Missing

  
Baekhyun was still covered in grime, nails busted and dried blood covering everything along with dirt.

But they were cleaning up by now, dragging the wolves bodies towards the gate.

There were so many, so, so many. And each one as disgusting as the last.

So, there was no point in cleaning up when the community needed to be cleaned first.

One pile of their own towards the back, and another towards the front gate - the first to be buried, and the other to be burned.

This place was a graveyard now, silent.

Baekhyun groaned under his breath as he dragged a wolf off his front porch, and he was pleasantly surprised that only one Taeyong had to take care of.

“Let me help you.”

“Lay down,” Baekhyun gritted out, pulling the body down the steps and blood gushed onto their prestine porch.

So much for luxury housing, he mused.

Kyungsoo sighed in the doorway, face a mix of purple, and Baekhyun looked at him with a stern look, wiping hands uselessly on his jeans. “Hyung. Go back to sleep right now, I swear to fucking god I’ll have Taeyong stand guard outside our room.”

“You know,” Kyungsoo laughed, “You're really hot right now.”

Baekhyun threw his head back in a laugh and shook his head, “Since I became a raging lunatic and killed a dozen people? I’m flattered.”

“I was going to say when you think fast and care for and protect everyone, but… by all means, yeah - killing lunatic is hot too, really sexy if they look like you.”

Baekhyun snickered and shook his head, “I’d kiss you, but I’m fucking disgusting and you’re going back to bed, Hyung. We can reschedule for dirty talk another time.”

Kyungsoo smirked and nodded, shrugging slightly as he started turning back towards the house. “Fine! Fine! I do prefer to see your face through all that dirt.”

The younger grinned and shook his head as Kyungsoo shut the front door, grabbing the body’s ankle again to start dragging towards the gate.

Taeyong could definitely do this much faster than him, hell, even Yixing was moving faster, but Baekhyun had nothing else to do to keep his worries away.

And his other options - like comforting Deanna that so many of her citizens had been killed, or perhaps painting names on the fence of those dead - yeah, definitely not his style.

But it was crude of him to tell these people to forget about them, and it was even more fucked up to admit he didn’t give a fuck about comforting Deanna when she hid away like a coward the entire time while Baekhyun ran around and protected this goddamn community.

“Opening up!”

Baekhyun turned around at Spencers yell and booked it towards the gate, not even twenty minutes before a similar yell came before Sehun, Minseok, and Taehyung had gotten back.

He hadn’t seen Luhan cry in a while, but he did.

And Taehyung sent him an unreadable look as he spoke to Jungkook who seemed to be talking frantically, so Baekhyun knew they’d be talking later.

“Hyung!” Baekhyun screamed, nearly tripping over the pile of bodies and taking down Yifan when he walked through the gate.

“Hey, hey, what the… the hell? God, what the fuck happened?”

Baekhyun laughed and shook his head into Yifan’s chest, “Don't worry, we took care of it.”

“I can see that,” Yifan murmured into his hair, pulling back to look down at him, and he looked proud, then concerned as he looked at all the blood on Baekhyun's face, “God… what the? What the hell did you get into?”

“We didn’t lose any of ours,” Baekhyun whispered, answering a silent question in Yifan’s eyes, “I did it.”

The leader swallowed hard and nodded, pulling Baekhyun back into his chest and resting his forehead in his hair, “You did good. I know it.”

Baekhyun beamed before realizing something through his excitement. “Hyung, where’s Chanyeol and Jongin?”

“I don’t know for sure, but… Let’s…” Yifan muttered, grabbing Baekhyun's hand and pulling him away from the gate, “Let’s talk, sweetheart. Things went wrong.”

Baekhyun suddenly wasn’t excited, it was replaced with stomach churning fear and he wanted to puke.

~~~~~~

“Shit.” Chanyeol cried, jumping to his feet to look through the boarded up windows of the store at the walkers walking away from pounding on the windows.

“That home?”

Chanyeol ignored Heath’s question to gulp at the echoing gunshots, “We need to go now.” He ordered, “Come on, Tara.” He groaned, helping Tara to her feet and giving her a metal rod to use to walk, “Are you okay with that?”

“Okay. Okay, let's go. Come on.” He heard Richard muttering.

“Leave me,” She whispered, looking directly into his eyes.

Chanyeol clenched his jaw and forced the rod into her hold, “We gotta go now. Tell me if you need help.”

“The ones from down the street and in the alley, they're getting drawn by the gunfire.” Heath stated as Chanyeol readied by the door.

“We’re going for that wood store,” Chanyeol said firmly.

Heath turned to look at him outraged, “Jongin said to go. We got to go now, the herd is headed right for us. We got lucky with this distraction.”

Chanyeol gritted his teeth and scratched at his collar, looking up in the air for any smoke or fire, nothing. He gave a minuscule nod, grabbing the knife from his belt, “Alright, Richard shoot as soon as I open the door, Heath lead the way, Tara… be careful.”

He made sure to get a confirmation nod before yanking the door open and getting an earful, and face full of snarling walkers.

“Now!” He yelled, launching at the walkers nearest the door and sinking his knife into their heads, running behind Heath.

“Fuck! Too many!” He heard Richard wheeze.

As they took off down the street he heard another scream, turning around he saw Tara had tripped, “Fuck!”

“Go!” She screamed as the horde started getting closer to her.

Chanyeol turned to Heath, sharing a look before Heath grabbed Richards arm to help him along, “Let’s go!”

They could hear Taras screaming as she was attacked, but didn’t turn around - couldn't.

It was a distraction for them, a painful one, and Chanyeol was grateful as brutal as it sounded.

But he had places to be, people to get back to.

“Fuck!”

Chanyeol ran right into Heaths back when he suddenly stopped.

They had turned down an alley and a gate blocked them off, turning around he saw a horde making their way closer.

“You go over first! I’ll help Richard!” Chanyeol yelled, backpedaling and turning to grab a scrapped chunk of wood, throwing it by the gate and shoving Heath towards it, “Go over!”

He then turned around to shoot the closest walkers to them, to little effect when hundreds were closing in.

“No, they’re coming, just go!” Richard yelled at him when Chanyeol threw an arm out to shove him towards the gate when Heath jumped over.

“We’re doing this, come on!” Chanyeol yelled, turning to grab the metal to climb, “Come on! Get up!”

Both him and Richard started climbing on a side of the gate when the walkers closed in, hands grabbing at their shoes and jeans.

Snarling and strongly yanking at them and making it hard to get up.

“Come on!” Heath cried, shooting through the gate and Chanyeol shook a leg free, climbing up to the highest bar with a groan before looking down.

Richard was full on wheezing, an asthma attack, or panic attack Chanyeol couldn't tell, “No! Come on! Man, you can!”

He knew it was hopeless, Richard looked at him glossily as Chanyeol reached over towards him to help, breath sounding loud even over the vicious snarls.

Then, Richard released a hand to reach out, but screamed instead.

Chanyeol’s face contorted in anguish as he noticed a walker having bitten into the man’s calf.

There was no use, Chanyeol jumped onto the other side of the gate and landed painfully on his back.

Richard screamed until he couldn’t anymore, and they could have been sitting here hours if Chanyeol didn’t know it had only been a few minutes before Heath yanked on his arm.

“I understand.”

Chanyeol accepted his hand with tearful eyes and stood up, “Yeah. I think you do.”

They started running, this time without followers.

~~~~~~

Baekhyun paced at the fence hours after Yifan told him how they had split up, how Jongin and Chanyeol hadn’t checked in on the radio for hours.

He had the walkie in his hand, demanding to have it, and Yifan gave it easily, without second thought.

He just watched as the piles of bodies were put in wheelbarrows and took outside the gates to be burned - because they didn’t bury killers in the walls.

A list of names was being made, those that had died in the attack.

In big letters, huge, black written on the rusted metal of the walls.

It wasn’t exactly how Baekhyun's people grieved - they didn’t.

But he didn’t have anything to say that wasn’t hisses as he anxiously waited by the gate, skin sunburned and itching from dirt and blood - but that wasn’t new.

“Hey.” Baekhyun whispered, dirty hand holding down the button on the walkie as he walked back and forth with the radio to his mouth, “I know I said I wasn’t going to call anymore until one of you replied, but I lied.”

“I lied and you’re supposed to call me out on my bullshit, so if you can hear me then fucking call me out, because I’m getting pissed over here and I’m fucking - Taeyong is worried. I’m.. i'm worried, okay? Is that what you want me to say? That I love your dumbasses and whichever one of you that is listening needs to respond right now, because I’m fucking livid.”

Baekhyun huffed and found himself dropping the walkie on the ground, it shattered and he saw people look at him worriedly as he dug his nails into his scalp and paced faster.

“Hyung,” Baekhyun ignored Taehyung in favor of shrugging his arm off and continuing.

“Baek-“

Baekhyun hissed and had his knife out so fast Taehyung flinched - not because he was scared, not even with a knife to his throat was he scared of Baekhyun - but it was startling. “Don’t fucking touch me.”

“Baekhyun, put it down!” Yifan screamed, shoving past people in order to get to the commotion.

The younger only sneered, knife set at Taehyung's artery. “Don’t you ever touch me.”

“No- it’s okay! It’s okay!” Taehyung yelled, throwing his hands out when a few people came closer, probably to grab Baekhyun. “We’re okay, right? Hyung, we’re okay.” He said, eyes not leaving Baekhyun. “Because you saved me before, and you won’t kill me.”

“I would.”

“You wouldn’t,” Taehyung muttered under his breath, eyeing Baekhyun's shaking eyes, “Because you save people. Because you saved me and you saved Jungkook and you saved this entire place, and you’re not alone, Baekhyun Hyung. You’re upset, but that doesn’t change you.”

“You really don’t know me then,” Baekhyun whispered.

“Baekhyun,” Yifan repeated, coming around Taehyung's back and not touching him, but making sure they met eyes, “You want to set this example for Taeyong? Sehun? Jisung? Jungkook? You want them to see this?”

Baekhyun didn’t answer, but his eye twitched.

“No, you don’t,” Yifan muttered, laying a hand on Baekhyun's wrist, carefully curling his finger over the metal until Taehyung didn’t have it pressed over his skin, “There, if you want to hurt someone, then it will be me. Do you want that? You could cut off my finger right now, sweetheart. Will you?”

The younger flexed his jaw before realizing his hands were shaking and clammy, he released the knife and Yifan grabbed the sharp metal in his palm before sighing and turning back around, “Nothing to see here!” The man ordered firmly.

“Taehyung, I’m sorry.” Baekhyun muttered, bypassing Yifan’s restraining arm to walk around him towards the younger.

Taehyung actually laughed and pulled Baekhyun into a hug, “It’s okay,” He whispered, “You're scared. I shouldn't have grabbed you, you weren’t going to do it.”

Baekhyun didn’t respond, only burying his chin into the tallers shoulder.

“You said you’d never hurt us, back in that forest. Remember? We promised we’d stay together, and we will.” Taehyung murmured into his hair. “And even if some don’t make it back, the- Chanyeol.”

“What?” Baekhyun frowned.

“Hyung! Chanyeol Hyung!”

Baekhyun yanked away and turned around towards the gate that creaked open.

Sure enough, Chanyeol and Heath were stumbling in, red faced and soaked in sweat.

Baekhyun laughed before it turned into a sob and he sprinted over towards him.

Chanyeol looked up and smiled, breathless and Baekhyun didn’t give him a chance and was tackling him to the ground in a hug, the elder groaned and curled his hands around Baekhyun's head as he fell to the ground.

It admittedly hurt, but Baekhyun crying hurt more.

“Hey, baby. Hey,” He laughed, nuzzling into Baekhyun's temple, “God I’m glad to see you.”

Baekhyun sniffed and sat up to grab Chanyeol's cheek, pressing their mouths together in a quick kiss before hitting him and crying harder, “You stink.”

“You too,” His husband snorted, trailing his eyes all over his face before looking entirely confused, “What happened? You’re so dirty, oh my god.”

Any other time Baekhyun would have laughed because he knew for a fact that in the past they had done many more things other than hugging under such dirty, grime covered circumstances, but his mind jerked away. “Where’s Jongin?”

Chanyeol gulped and Baekhyun sat back with his mouth agape.

“The town was overrun. He split off with Nicholas. He had this idea that... if he lit a fire, it would stop the walkers from coming here. I tried to go instead. I wanted to. The fire never got lit. We had to keep going. I'm sorry. He said if he got stuck, he would find a way to send us a signal.”

Baekhyun's face fell and he gasped a painful breath, his tears revealing clean skin beneath the grime as they fell down his face, “There’s been no signal.”

“There’s - there's been no signal! There’s been- Chanyeol!” Baekhyun screamed, shaking Chanyeol's face in his palms as he started writhing with sobs.

“I’m sorry,” The elder sniffed, wrapping his arms right around Baekhyun's back, “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, baby. Sh, sh, baby.”

Baekhyun's sobs carried through the community, heartbreak with them.

~~~~~~

Walkers were crawling outside the walls now.

They snarled and we’re building up outside in the darkness.

Baekhyun refused the possibility that Jongin had lost to walkers, couldn't even if it was the realistic choice.

He had fallen to his knees when he watched Taeyong go out to paint Jongin's name on the metal an hour before.

His brother didn’t cry.

But Baekhyun barely stopped. He was just so mad.

All this to die by walkers? No way, it couldn’t have happened, he couldn’t consider that possibility when they had done so much - gone through so much that walkers weren’t shit to them.

It was impossible.

“You gonna shoot at them all night?”

Baekhyun didn’t respond, only holding his jaw clenched and aiming at the walkers with his sniper, ignoring the ladder rattling as Kyungsoo climbed up.

“How’s Chanyeol?” He muttered under his breath, back towards the other as he started reloading.

“You know you’re not going to be able to get rid of them all, they’re just going to keep coming back.”

“How’s Chanyeol?” Baekhyun repeated. “You have a fever, go home.”

Kyungsoo sighed, laying a palm on the gun's silencer and lowering it, “You could.. go home and see him, you know? Clean up, see Taeyong for a little. Eat something.”

“Don’t be stupid.”

“Chanyeol is fine.” Kyungsoo answered with a defeated expression, leaning over the side of the wall and looking down at the mass of walkers building up. “Exhausted, bruised, guilty but fine. These walkers though… we can only use power during the day, nothing loud, no cars, no playing outside. As quiet as a graveyard.”

“Haven’t you heard?” Baekhyun chuckled, releasing the gun and letting it hang across his chest, “This is a graveyard now.”

Kyungsoo took in a heavy breath, rubbing his jaw, “Baek. You know I can’t - nobody has anything to say to comfort you, and there’s nothing I can promise, but Jongin - getting killed by walkers? Hell no. That’s fucking… that’s insane, Jongin is the fastest of us all, he’d run if he couldn’t fight.”

“Thought I wasn’t supposed to be given any false hope.”

“Just sharing my opinion, baby.” The elder whispered, grabbing Baekhyun's fingers and grimacing at all the grime built up, but ignoring it in favor of pressing the hand onto his chest calmly, because he knew his husband liked to know they were with him. “And another opinion I have - no, a fact - is that Jongin loves you, we love you, and that doesn’t change, even if… we’re not here anymore, we’ll still love you.”

Baekhyun's lip trembled as he removed his gun strap to lay it on the ground of the watchtower, turning to throw himself into Kyungsoo's arms and digging his cheek into the man’s shoulder. “I know, and I love you guys too.”

“I know, beautiful.” Kyungsoo soothed, twisting his hands together around Baekhyun's back, “Let’s go get you cleaned up, and something to eat.”

The younger didn’t respond for a full minute, staring at the dirt covered ring resting on his finger before pulling away, “Hold on, I need to do something.” He muttered, turning to grab his water from the ground and climbing down the ladder.

Kyungsoo raised a brow and was following him down.

Baekhyun walked up to the wall, wiping his eyes on his sleeves as he read the Jongin directly beneath Nicholas’ name.

He gulped and splashed water on the paint before pulling his sleeve over his palm and scrubbing at the name.

He heard Kyungsoo laugh and saw him reach down for the water to start working on the other end.

“Even if he’s gone, he’s not.”

Baekhyun nodded, even with tears falling down his face.


	69. Heads Up!

  
“Taehyung is missing.”

“What the fuck?” Baekhyun growled, yanking the covers off his bed and rolling off to rush towards the closest.

“Jungkook just came pounding on the door downstairs with Yifan, said that Taehyung left a note, he’s out looking for Jongin. Said he owes you.”

Baekhyun's face dropped, pulling a shirt over his head and gulping. “It’s been days, Taehyung couldn't possibly -“

“He held Heath at gunpoint - said to tell him where we were, made him write it all out.” Chanyeol stated.

Baekhyun felt his knees wobble and shoved a pistol into his pocket before going to run downstairs but Chanyeol grabbed his wrist. “It’s not your fault.”

The younger hissed and yanked his arm out of the elders before running downstairs.

It had been days.

At least four, but Baekhyun wasn’t keeping a good track because all he did was eat, sleep, and wait on the watchtower.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” He growled as he stomped down the stairs and saw Yifan and Jungkook sitting on the couch.

As soon as he noticed Baekhyun, Jisung squealed from Taeyongs lap and climbed down to wrap around his leg, Baekhyun didn’t even acknowledge him.

“This has got to be a fucking joke. He doesn’t owe me shit.”

“You saved my life.” Jungkook whispered, hair tossed anxiously around and shaking his leg.

Baekhyun's lips curled up, “We’re family! That’s what we fucking do! We help and save each other - this isn’t some.. we don’t pay each other back! I did it because I wanted to, no other motives, he doesn’t owe me.”

“Little too late to tell him that now.” Kyungsoo drawled from the kitchen, “How the fuck he got out makes no sense, there’s at least a few hundred surrounding the walls.”

Baekhyun stomped almost childishly and covered his face, shaking Jisung off his leg and walking towards the closet to pull out bigger guns.

“I spoke to Spencer, said he saw the kid throwing something over. Probably meat, something old, he’s smart like that. Probably ran right past them.” Yifan mustered up, walking over and silently grabbing a shotgun from Baekhyun's hand and shutting the closet door.

The younger fixed him with a stern, clenched jaw expression and yanked on the doorknob angrily, Yifan ignored him and held it shut.

“What could you do, Baek Hyung?” Taeyong called with a sigh, “Something stupid, probably, I shouldn’t have bothered asking.”

“Be nice.” Kyungsoo ordered, but it didn’t carry any real heat as he knelt down to give Jisung attention because the toddler was beginning to look pissed off at Baekhyun's rejection.

“I’ll tell you what.” Yifan said, raising a brow at Baekhyun and continuing to hold the door closed, “Me and you walk the perimeter. Let’s see what’s going on.”

“Give me the gun.” Baekhyun demanded.

“How about Yifan and I go instead.” Chanyeol offered, raising a brow at Yifan, an analyzing look on his face as he eyed the two, leaning on his knees.

“We can all go,” The leader muttered passively, but an underlying hiss in his tone.

“I’m going to the watchtower,” Baekhyun interrupted their stares by walking towards the door, “If you guys took the sniper down - I swear to god you’re gonna be on your ass.”

~~~~~~

Jongin heaved from under the dumpster he had been under.

It could have been hours, days, weeks, since he had crawled under here, knife shaking in his hand and covered in blood.

His only company being Nicholas’ body lying beside the dumpster, eyes wide open and hollow, head blown off and missing chunks.

He had been waiting.

Waiting days, nights, eyes wide open and watching the walkers feed.

Now, they had lost interest, everyday more left, everyday they became distracted by chirping birds or rolling metal cans from the window.

And today they had all gone.

Every last one of them were gone from the alley he was in.

Jongin groaned as he reached a bloody hand out from under the dumpster, grabbing the metal and heaving himself out.

The effort made his chest burn, throat even more painful as he reached for a water bottle on the ground, he brought it to his lips and growled as he threw it away, not a drop down his burning throat.

He prevailed and groaned as he shifted to start sifting through walkers body’s, those that laid dead on the ground from the feast - Nicholas’ included.

The orange flare gun on the ground was broken, unusable from their tumble of the dumpster - or, Jongin's fall, since Nicholas had been long dead.

He pushed Nicholas’ decaying corpse over, or what was left of it, and found the silver gun that had caused the splatter of gore on Jongin's face. He shoved it in his pocket.

“Hey, heads up!”

Jongin squinted, disoriented up above him.

“Shit!”

A water bottle splattered down in front of Jongin in a puddle of blood.

“I said heads up!”

“T-Taehyung?” He croaked.

Jongin reached for the bottle, probably looking insane as he threw the cap away and downed it, practically drowning himself when he finished the entire bottle and coughed - the water almost came right back up.

He heard clattering and suddenly a pair of boots stood in front of him, “Fuck. That was a tall fall, damn it.” Taehyung cursed, kneeling down and rubbing his ankles.

“Taehyung?”

“You blind now too? Or all that blood in your eyes?”

Jongin laughed, disbelieving as he watched Taehyung pull his backpack around and shove another water at him. “What are you doing out here? How’d you find me?”

“Shut up and eat.” Taehyung teased, throwing a pack of candy at him, taking a seat on the blood soaked cement. “I followed the trail of walkers, got pretty good at climbing since the prison, if you stay high up and they don’t notice. Plus, I had a few.. vague directions.”

The elder listened as he opened the bag, but was quickly trying to fill blanks in his head, “What happened in Alexandria? We heard that sound. The gunfire.”

Taehyung pursed his lips and shoved the package rudely towards Jongin's face, “Eat, Hyung. We can’t stay out till dark.”

“What happened is what always happens. People died.” Taehyung added as an afterthought.

“The herd broke through the walls?” Jongin muffled on a mouthful. “The walkers. They broke out of the quarry early. We got on them, but that sound, the air horn, what was that?”

“God, so many questions.” The younger snickered, “It was people.”

Suddenly he had Jongin all in his face, leaning over his lap and grabbing his shirt, not forcefully, but demanding attention. “Baekhyun, is he okay? Is Baekhyun okay?”

Taehyung actually laughed at that, climbing to his feet and shaking his head, offering his hand. “God. Let me tell you, for someone so small he’s fucking crazy. Come on, we need to start heading back.”

“Taehyung..” Jongin warned.

“Oh, shut it, I’ll explain on the way. You better eat before you pass out, I may be full of fun, but I’m not all muscle to drag your sorry ass back, sorry to break it to you, Hyung.”

“I’m annoyed with you already.”

~~~~~~~

“What’s the deal?”

Chanyeol raised a brow and ran his finger through blood that was dripping through a crack on the wall, “What?”

“You two aren’t gonna say a word? That’s just it?” Yifan asked, shrugging with his hands in his pockets and tilting his head towards the watchtower Baekhyun was anxiously watching from.

Kyungsoo laughed while Chanyeol grimaced.

“Everyone fucking knew.” Kyungsoo rolled his eyes, “Hell, since even before the prison we were pretty sure. Do you want us to point it out? Fight with you?”

Yifan chewed the inside of his cheek, “Jongin.. the last call I heard from him he said to watch Baekhyun for him, I didn’t… I couldn’t tell Baekhyun that of course. He’d crying and then-“

“Then you’d want to cry because Baekhyun looks like a puppy when he cries,” Chanyeol finished, an annoyed kink to his brow. “Listen, I’m not… definitely not saying it’s okay, but Jongin was really against it. And if he… asked you and, I mean, if he really is… dead, Baekhyun will… have a gap to fill, it’s not open for you to take - don’t misunderstand me, that’s our husband, but if… you know, he asks you. If he comes to you…”

“He’s trying to say thank you.” Kyungsoo rolled his eyes and shoved Chanyeol's back, “For watching Baekhyun and for.. not trying to steal him or anything like that, god knows you had all the chances, and fuck - he really cares about you, so thank you for not taking advantage of that - or him. I’m not trying to, you know, make it seem like you have a place, or that you have anything with him; it’s just his choice to make and I won’t control that, it’s just… hard.. to think that there’s three of us, but we still can’t make him happy.”

“You guys really fucking suck at explaining shit.” Yifan sighed.

Both Kyungsoo and Chanyeol laughed, relaxing a little more.

“I honestly didn’t think it was… that obvious, I tried really hard because it’s not my business, Baekhyun isn’t my business. But… I just…”

“If you say it’s because you find him attractive or like.. want to fuck him I will knock you on your ass right now, fair warning.”

Kyungsoo turned and punched Chanyeol's arm even as Yifan shuffled awkwardly, looking offended and embarrassed. “Shut the fuck up.”

“What! You were thinking about it.” Chanyeol grumbled, crossing his arms in restraint.

“Was not, fucking idiot.” Kyungsoo growled.

The leader scratched his arm and turned to lean against the side of one of the wood fortifications and pointed over their shoulders towards Baekhyun who was now speaking to Minseok and pointing at something over the wall. “That’s not the reason, of course not. I mean… I watch, I pay attention, but I’m not… leering or, you know, checking him out or anything. I just worry, we all worry about him. I mean, Baekhyun is beautiful, but you know that, I don’t have to say it - especially to either of you. But.. yeah, I don’t even know, honestly. I just… just feel like… he deserves a lot? Does that make sense.”

“And we don’t deserve him.” Chanyeol finished.

“I didn’t say that,” Yifan said quickly, “I don’t think that at all, it must be hard for all of you, not just him. And I’m not saying I’m trying to do anything with him - I’m not… trying to steal him, in the end he sees me as family, and that’s all. None of us are perfect - frankly, we’re all fucked, but sometimes it just… feels better to look out for people, you know?

Baekhyun always needed a bit more… help, and I think I just got too attached, didn’t even know it until Yixing pointed it out. It’s my fault, and I’m taking responsibility, I’m not trying to deceive any of you or go behind your back, I’m just laying it all out: I like Baekhyun, and if he gives me an opportunity I’m going to take it.”

Kyungsoo simply nodded and Chanyeol clicked his tongue and scratched the back of his neck awkwardly until Yifan looked at him for a reaction.

“I’m trying, man.” Chanyeol said passively, “I have nothing against you, really. It’s just… Baekhyun is mine, you know? And we fight a lot, but I’m really trying here. I’m really protective of him, so just don't… don’t do something stupid.”

“What? Like drowning in a storm for his attention?” Kyungsoo chuckled to himself.

Chanyeol turned to him with a mean sneer as Yifan started laughing, “Okay, first off, it was an accident, secondly, I almost fucking died, and third, I think I’m entitled to kick your ass now.”

~~~~~~

“Taeyong!”

“Hey!”

Taeyong pulled his hood over his head and walked faster.

“Man, wait up!”

The teenager nearly yelled when a hand yanked his arm, fingers twitching towards his pocket.

“Man, I’ve been yelling for you.” Ron said as Taeyong turned to acknowledge him.

“What do you want?” Taehyung sighed, crossing his arms.

Ron shrugged slightly, “I want you to teach me how to shoot.”

Taeyong reeled back in surprise, frowning, “Why?”

“Mikey died. I want to protect my mom, my brother.”

Taeyong eyed him and felt something about it was a lie. “Do you think you could even handle the responsibility?”

Ron opened his mouth and Taeyong scoffed, pointing his finger at his chest, “If someone is in front of you, and they have a gun. You're gonna be scared. You will be. Your body's gonna tense, you won't have time to think. You're just gonna want to pull the trigger when you get it in front of you.”

“Then, you’ll miss.” Taeyong murmured, “And you’ll be dead.” He finished, turning to walk away.

Ron grabbed his arm again, and Taeyong nearly hit him again, but barely restrained himself. “Dude, that’s why I need you to teach me.”

Taeyongs face pulled together in irritation before he took a deep breath and looked down the street.

Baekhyun was still on the tower, it’d been hours and he was still standing on the tower watching, Luhan walking up to it to presumably convince him to come down. It wouldn’t work.

Taeyong wanted to just beat Ron’s ass up now, just for being fucking annoying and suddenly wanting to be nice to him when all he did was send glares and uncomfortable looks his way after his dad was killed.

But, maybe Baekhyun would be happier if he knew Taeyong was making friends, trying to at least.

Taeyong relaxed a little and reached into his pocket to grab his gun, removing the clip and putting it in his pocket before shoving the empty gun at Ron, “You have to get it up to your eye. You've got to be strong enough to wait for your moment.” He began.

Ron frowned at him, giving an irritated look, “We can’t target practice? I can shoot down at the walkers or something.”

Taeyong eyed him suspiciously and clenched his jaw, “Yeah, waste bullets at a time like this, smart.”

He sighed and shook his head, “Sorry, i'll show you the stance, and you just practice carrying an empty one around for a while.”

Ron clenched his jaw and nodded.

~~~~~~

“You don't have to be up here so much, squirrel.”

Baekhyun licked his lips and turned to accept the sandwich Luhan offered him, “I won't be.”

“This is the direction he'd come in. If he sends up a signal, it'll be from out there.” He added, pointing out towards the East.

“Yeah.” Luhan murmured, “It’s lunchtime, take a seat at least.” He requested, moving the camping chair closer to Baekhyun.

The younger did, knee instantly beginning to shake, “Or it-- it won't be.”

Luhan sighed, reaching over to lay a palm on Baekhyun's knee and pat his leg, “When we go out there, it's never easy, it's never simple. It's always a fight. But we've come back from harder things. From further away. Jongin will too.”

Baekhyun didn’t respond, didn’t need anymore false hope and only tossed his gun on the tower floor to unwrap his sandwich.

“Maybe we don't wait for them to be back.” Luhan mustered up, gaining his attention moments later. “We should start figuring out how to draw the walkers away. We have some food and water to last us a while and the walls are holding. We can take our time. Really think this through. Do it right. Sehun told me to tell you that’s what they’re planning.”

“Clear it so they can-- they can walk right in.” Baekhyun mumbled.

Luhan laughed and nodded, squeezing Baekhyun's thigh, “You coming down now? To help?”

“No… I think… I think just a little bit longer.”

Luhan sighed and moved another chair closer to Baekhyun's, taking a seat with him.

~~~~~~

“You look like you guys could use some help.”

Yifan laughed under his breath, nodding at the two new arrivals, “Grab a saw, cut some wood,” He muttered, clenching his hand open and closed and passing the hammer over towards Minseok, “Crack in the wall, need to keep it fortified.” He explained.

Zitao only nodded at him, grabbing the other end of a chunk of wood Junmyeon was trying to hold on the wall, and Jongdae smiled and went to help Yifan cut new pieces.

“You know, you guys scared the hell out of people when we first saw you all.”

Yifan gave Jongdae a confused look, but nodded slightly,”I know.”

“You scared the hell out of me.” The other continued, “With that beard. The way you guys looked around like you all were seeing things we weren't... hiding around corners.”

Yifan frowned and stopped sawing to stare at him.

“Turns out you were.” Jongdae whispered, grinning before shrugging, “Things moved slow here. And then things just started moving fast. Too fast. But don't give up on us.”

The truth was they already had given up on these people though. Yifan only sent him a look, and Jongdae's smile dulled a little and he nodded, walking towards the wall and towards the others.

The leader sighed, putting his hand out unwrapping the gauze around it. It had loosened up, no longer pressuring his tensed muscles.

“You should have Baekhyun wrap that up for you.”

Yifan looked up at Kyungsoo blankly, could see over the man’s shoulder that Yixing was putting nails into the wall - and he was a medic, why would he suggest he ask Baekhyun?

“He’s not doing anything right now,” Kyungsoo added, nodding towards the tower before turning to walk away.


	70. Start To Finish

Jongin trailed along, out of breath as he and Taehyung took a break on the side of the road, resting his chin on his palm.

“Almost there,” The younger called, laughing as he ran up to a bunch of green balloons, balloons tied there from their markers during the attempt to get the walkers out, so close to home, less than a mile left.

“What the hell?” Jongin snorted, resting on his knees and watching Taehyung tie the balloons to his backpack.

“What?” Taehyung whined, “Could distract them, it’s a good plan, Hyung!”

Jongin shook his head and stood up, motioning to keep walking, “Yeah, because your plan to come save my ass was real good.”

“Hey, you wouldn’t have gotten this far without me.”

The elder shrugged, but had a slight smile on his face because it was true, Taehyung had given him food and water - without it he probably would’ve been passed out miles back. “Get your balloon loving ass going.”

“At least I’m good company!” Taehyung chirped.

~~~~~~

“Hey, I’m so sorry.” Baekhyun murmured, holding Jisungs hand, “I’m sorry, everyone else is busy, can you watch him for a little? We’re trying… to fix the fence, I’m so sorry.”

Jessie only grinned, looking surprised and opening the door wider, “Of course, come in. Hi, sweetheart? Are you going to play here for a little?”

“Toys!” Jisung giggled, holding out his truck.

Baekhyun sighed and pulled him in, “I’m sorry, I would watch him but-“

“No worries.” The woman whispered, something sympathetic in her face before she nodded to herself, “Ron is out in the pantry and Sam refuses to come hangout with me, so I could use the company.”

Baekhyun gave a strained grin and released Jisungs hand, kneeling down to give him a hug and kiss his cheek, “Be good, Hyung will be back in a little.”

Jisung nodded quickly, squeezing tightly, “Bye bye.”

“Bye, baby.” He murmured, kissing his head once more before standing up and going towards the door. “Thank yo-“

“Hey, Baekhyun.”

He turned around with a nod, holding the doorknob.

“I just..” She began softly, “I never told Yifan or Chanyeol thank you, but I think it’d be more important if I said it to you, so… thank you. You have a really good family looking after you.”

Baekhyun swallowed hard and reached out to grab her wrist softly, “I know.”

~~~~~~

“Oh god.”

Jongin's fingers came to grab his hair anxiously and turned to look at Taehyung for help, but the man had the same expression on his face.

They stood outside Alexandria, on the end of a street that led to the structure.

And outside the walls was flooded with walkers, all the way around, as far as they could see.

“There… there weren't this many when I left just… only hours ago, how?” Taehyung whispered, shocked.

Jongin turned to look at the shock on his face and his eyes drifted towards the green floating at Taehyung's back.

“I… I have an idea.” He hissed under his breath, grabbing Taehyung's backpack. “I know what to do, we need gas - a lot of it, and… and a grenade.”

“Wait!” Taehyung whispered shouted, grabbing Jongin's knife from his hand.

“What?”

Taehyung grabbed his backpack and cut the balloons strings.

~~~~~~

Baekhyun walked along the streets, head up because he hated the way people were looking at him, sympathetically, but it pissed him off.

They had no reason to look at him like that.

“Woah.”

He frowned and caught people looking upwards.

In the sky, a ways away six green balloons floated into the sky.

Baekhyun shook his head before furrowing his brows.

Who would send balloons loose?

Certainly not walkers.

He gasped and booked it, running full speed across the community towards where everyone was working on the wall.

“That’s Jongin!” He screamed, running into Sehun's back accidentally but latching on quickly, “That's Jongin, it's him.” He added, jumping on his feet.

“It has to be.” He heard Junmyeon gawk.

“Hyung,” Taeyong muttered and Baekhyun turned to acknowledge him, excitement making his grin brighter and arms wrapped all around Sehun's back, hearing the man laugh and hold the back of his hands.

“I-“

Suddenly wood cracked.

“Fall back!” Someone screamed.

And the watchtower cracked again, leaning.

It felt like slow motion that it crackled, loud before it was turning over and pulling the wall down with it.

Baekhyun watched with wide eyes as everyone started running, time speeding up.

“Everyone inside! Go, go!”

“Get back to your houses!” Junmyeon screamed.

Arms grabbed Baekhyun around the waist and he hadn’t even realized he hadn’t been moving.

“Jessie’s…” He whispered, grabbing the back of Sehun's shirt and sitting up to look at those running, “Jessie’s house! Jisung!”

He watched people run into houses, and walkers started climbing in, over the wood that used to be the tower and the metal that was once a wall.

“We heard you!” He saw Kyungsoo yell towards the back of the group and the man turned to hack at a few walkers with his hammer.

“Don’t be stupid!” Yifan yelled, yanking Kyungsoo’s arm for him to keep going.

“Go, go!”

They burst into Jessie’s house, and Sehun put him on the ground so suddenly Baekhyun nearly tripped had Taeyong not grabbed his waist.

“Fuck! Motherfuckers!”

Baekhyun turned to grab Taeyongs head, pulling him to his shoulder as the others that followed piled in.

“What the hell happened?”

He glanced over Taeyong’s shoulder and Jessie stood in the kitchen with a hand over her mouth and the other holding Ron’s shirt, “I just… put Jisung down for a nap and everything went to shit.”

“That’s about what happened.” Yifan drawled, “Everyone check for bites, now.” He added.

Baekhyun pulled back to pet Taeyongs hair from his face, his eyes panicked, his brother simply nodded, and Baekhyun gulped, arms entrapping Taeyongs head again.

“Okay, so that's fucking dandy.” He heard Sehun and snorted, pressing his nose into Taeyongs shoulder.

“Babe,” A hand pressed to his spine and Baekhyun closed his eyes for a second before reluctantly letting Taeyong go.

The teenager didn’t say a word, only walking over to peek out the windows.

Kyungsoo quickly took Taeyongs place, just grabbing Baekhyun's waist, “We got who we need right now, I saw Yixing get into a house, Luhan too, they jumped in with Zitao, we’re okay right now.” He said over his head.

“The others?”

“I’m sure they made it somewhere,” Taeyong mumbled, “Because we don’t go down that fast.”

Baekhyun smiled into Kyungsoo’s arm in agreement before pulling away and touching his soulmate's jaw softly, “Going to check Jisung.”

Kyungsoo tapped his chin, pressing his lips to his forehead quickly, “Okay.”

Baekhyun laid a hand on Chanyeol’s hip as he walked past before nodding at Jessie, “Can you show me where he is?”

She accepted quickly.

~~~~~~

“Here’s the deal,” Sehun mumbled, rolling a small figurine between his fingers, “We have food to last us a while. They're bound to cluster up by then, move off to one area.

When they do, I'll try and get to the armory... draw them away.”

“With guns?” Kyungsoo asked, reaching over to stop Taeyongs leg from shaking.

“Flares. I'll open the gate, fire them off... see if I can get them somewhere... somewhere that's not here.”

“I’m in.” Yifan said with a head nod, moving back from the windows, “In the meantime, just keep quiet.”

~~~~~~

“Ron?” Taeyong called as he walked into the garage, shuffling nervously.

“Hey, you alright man?” He added, looking at Ron's back that was crouched over a workbench.

“We're all dead.”

Taeyong shuffled on his feet as Ron turned around, something like blazing anger in his eyes, and Taeyong sighed, scratching his arm and shaking his head, “Look, my family is gonna figure something out. We always do.”

He moved out of the way when Ron stepped closer, hands dropping to his sides and gulping.

“That's bullshit.” The other teenager spat, “Your family is just gonna get more people killed. Cause that's what they do. That's who Yifan is. Your leader is a killer.”

Taeyongs brows pulled together defensively and he pressed his back into a metal shelf as Ron stormed by him towards the door, “Your dad was too.” He pointed out with a growl. “We need to work this out.” He added, eyeing the garage door windows where he could see walkers crawling along the houses fence.

“I'm dead, Taeyong. My mom is dead. My brother is.”

Taeyong snapped his head away to look at Ron's back, “No, they're not. We're gonna make it.”

“Your brother - you're dead, too. We're all dead.” Ron turned around with a gun pointed at him and Taeyong stiffened, now realizing why Ron had been hovering around the door - he locked it.

“Don’t.” Taeyong warned, raising his hands, “Ron, put it down, man, where’d you even get ammo?”

“Armory,” Ron spat and Taeyong saw the gun shaking and was suddenly pissed.

He reached out and grabbed the barrel of the gun, and punched Ron with the other hand.

The other teenager screamed in pain, grabbing Taeyong by the collar as the gun went flying, shoving him into the glass window of the garage door with hands around his neck.

Taeyong hissed, digging his nails into Rons wrists before kicking his knee, Ron yelled and shoved Taeyong so hard the window shattered and Ron let go of him to make a run towards the gun on the floor.

“Tae!” He heard people screaming through the door, banging on it.

“Ron! Taeyong!”

“Open the door right now!”

Taeyong gasped for air before a hand shoved through the now broken window and he panicked as walkers started snarling and reaching through, grabbing a metal shelf to try and fill the gap.

“Back up!” He heard the door cracking and just as the backdoor slammed open walkers fell through the broken window, expanding the hole and he panted as someone grabbed his arm, yanking him out of the garage.

“Fuck!” Chanyeol yelled, him and Kyungsoo leaning on the door as walkers tried to come through. The lock now broken.

“Hey! Move, move!” Yifan yelled, dragging the couch over with Sehun, they both pressed against it and Taeyong pressed his back into it to help.

“I’ll see what I can find!” Jessie screamed, taking off upstairs as they held the couch over the door, Kyungsoo ran upstairs to follow.

“Hey, hey, what happened in there?” Chanyeol growled, leaning over Taeyong to help.

“We were looking for tools and knocked over a shelf.” Taeyong lied, sweat dripping off his brow.

“We heard yelling.” Yifan pointed out, a warning in his voice.

Taeyong gulped, “Yeah, Ron saw them break through the gates. We had to move. That's what happened.”

“Taeyong, there's nightstands in my mom's room.” Ron added, “We can brace the couch with them.”

Taeyongs jaw clenched as he moved to follow.

Sehun grabbed his arm, “Hey, it sounded like you were fighting.”

“Yeah, but we were fighting them.” Ron said defensively, running up the stairs.

“Tae? It's okay?” Yifan asked, giving him another chance.

Taeyongs eyes shook and he knew they knew, he nodded, turning to go upstairs, “It's okay.”

He ran upstairs, into the open room Ron went into and shut the door behind him, eyes on Rons back as he pulled his own gun out, there was no hesitation like Ron had - none at all, he had one chance.

“Listen, I, uh--“ Ron began as he turned around to face him.

“Hand me the gun, grip first.” Taeyong spat, putting his opposite hand out.

“Taeyong, I'm sorry.”

Taeyong clicked his tongue, “Yeah, I know. Now give me the gun.” He said firmly, eyes sharp.

Ron sighed and pulled out the gun, roughly laying it in Taeyongs palm.

Taeyong sighed, shoving it and his own gun into his pockets before shaking his head and running and hand through his sweaty hair, “Look, man... I get it.” He started exasperatedly, “My family killed your dad, but you need to know something.

Your dad was an asshole.” He said without a second thought.

Ron only gritted his teeth, and Taeyong stared at him before they heard running steps up the stairs.

“Block the stairs!”

Taeyong turned to burst through the door to see what was happening and met eyes with his brother, cradling Jisung as they looked down the stairs.

“Get upstairs!” Kyungsoo yelled, grabbing Jessie’s arm and pulling her out of the way as walkers started breaking the living room windows and flooding from the garage.

They were dragging the couch up to block the way, the house flooded with walkers now.

“Go, up!” Yifan ordered, him and Chanyeol dragging the couch to block the stairs as Sehun tried to defend from the stairs, gun silenced.

Baekhyun turned to shove Jisung at Taeyong, and the teenager took him quickly as Kyungsoo came over, grabbing both Ron and Taeyong and shoving them into a room and holding the door open for Jessie. “Baek, in.” He demanded.

But Baekhyun just looked at him before taking out his knife, rolling it in his hand, “We need at least two!”

Nobody questioned him, Sehun was reaching over the couch and stabbing a walker in the temple and Chanyeol was there to grab it, yanking it’s decomposing body over the furniture.

“I got the one behind it!” Yifan growled, fingers sunk deep into a walkers skin shedding arm, it’s jaw already missing so it’s attempt to bite was worthless as the man yanked it across to toss at the top of the stairs, still snarling and weakly trying to reach out for them.

Baekhyun grimaced and knelt down to stab it in the head before looking up to watch the others huff and pant, “God, you guys are out of shape.” He snorted, grabbing the walkers torn shirt and dragging it into the room the others were in.

“Fuck,” Kyungsoo snickered as Baekhyun walked away, “If walkers don't kill us, Baekhyun might.”

“You guys.. are fucked,” Sehun panted. 

~~~~~~

“You need to shut up,” Baekhyun snapped, turning to look at Jessie’s youngest son apologetically, but firmly and the kid cried into his mom's arms at the sight of the two dead walkers laid out on his bedroom floor, “For god's sake Jisung is four and he’s fine.”

“Baek, easy.” Kyungsoo requested softly, peering out the window before shaking his head, “Fuck. They knocked over the statue, it's drawing a lot of noise.”

“We’re going to need bed sheets or fabric, enough for everyone,” Sehun added, yanking the curtains down to toss on the floor in a pile.

“Why?” Jessie stuttered, and Baekhyun should feel a little bad because her and her kids were in this situation - but he didn’t, especially not when Taeyong had whispered that Ron was the cause of the home invasion.

“We all go to the armory.” Yifan answered.

Baekhyun barely listened in favor of kneeling down and pulling his knife out.

“How?”

“We're gonna gut these things. Cover ourselves with the insides. It'll mask our smell, make them think we're like them. We’ve done it before, Zitao told us how. We stay calm, we don't draw attention, we can move right through them.”

Baekhyun heard someone gag as he tore into the walker and shook his head, turning to nod at Taeyong, “Pick your poison, bug.”

Taeyong rolled his eyes with a sigh before setting Jisung down and kneeling to grab a curtain, “Could’ve at least cut me a head part out, Hyung.”

Sehun snorted.

“Hyung!” Jisung chirped, throwing himself around Baekhyun's back, obviously not even caring about his Hyung having handfuls of walker guts, “Monsters outside, monsters inside!”

Sam whimpered and Baekhyun resisted the urge to tell him to man the hell up, but Jessie was already whispering to him, “We aren't safe here anymore. Okay, we need to do this so that we can be safe out there. We need to look like the monsters.”

He heard the kid start crying more and sighed, turning to kiss Jisung’s cheek before looking up at Kyungsoo, the man nodded and came to grab Jisung from leetching, “Look outside, Jisungie, we’re going to go back out, okay? And we’re going to be really silent and you're not going to move an inch while Hyungs carry you.”

“Okay.”

Baekhyun laughed, well that was easy.

“Ugh, at least in the forest it didn’t smell this bad,” Taeyong whined as Baekhyun stood up to start wiping blood over the curtain, “Fuck, is it possible to miss that shitty forest?”

Baekhyun giggled and heard a few others laugh, “Shut up before I get it in your hair, Tae.”

The teenager cringed and Baekhyun rolled his eyes pressing a kiss to his jaw before kneeling down for more.

“Everyone else start cutting up sheets, make them long, only a head area and cut the sides. A line to walk in, stick together, don’t make a sound. I mean it, you give up out there, they will attack.” Chanyeol explained, opening the closet and giving through stuff for supplies, “They won’t hesitate, and neither will we, it’s a fair warning. If you fuck up, you’re killing all of us.”

It wasn’t a warning for them, but Jessie and her kids.

They had already been through this before, trying to get to Alexandria they had to go through a town that was overrun - not as bad as this - but still bad.

They knew the drill, but Jessie didn’t. Sam didn’t, and Ron didn’t.

And they wouldn’t hesitate to leave them.

“Thought I was the leader here,” Yifan whispered, flicking his knife open and the second walker in front of them squelched as he dug into its stomach.

Baekhyun snickered, shrugging, “You know I get impatient.”

Yifan chuckled, grabbing the edge of Taeyongs covering and starting from the bottom, “Yeah, we know, beautiful.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it feels like just yesterday I started writing Baek centric stories, but this was the second I ever posted and I’m already on the 70th chapter.
> 
> Also, dear Taeyong fans, he’s pretty badass.


	71. No Way Out

  
“We have to go.” Kyungsoo murmured, ear pressed to the bedroom door and listening to the snarling get louder, more intense and urgent.

“We’re ready.” Sehun stated, cringing as he watched Chanyeol hang innards around Baekhyun's neck, even the smaller cringed up at his husband with an angry pout.

Chanyeol only rolled his eyes and patted Baekhyun's arm with a dripping hand.

“Okay,” Baekhyun saw Yifan staring at Jessie and knew they all worried, he knelt down, “Sungie, come here.”

The toddler came bouncing over, throwing his arms right over Baekhyun's blood soaked sheet and Baekhyun quickly started smearing a bit into a sweater they forced into the toddler that fell to his toes, more protective than a thin sheet and perfect size, “Hyung, quiet time?”

“Super quiet time.” He answered, “You don’t say a word, baby.”

“He’s… a toddler,” Baekhyun heard Jessie say in shock, and understood where she was coming from because at least Sam was twelve and Ron even older, but she was wrong.

“And he’s going to live.” He heard Sehun reply.

Baekhyun ignored it in favor of picking Jisung up, “Okay, Ch-“

“Got it,” Taeyong muttered, Baekhyun nodded and Sehun lifted Taeyongs covering to give Jisung over. At least now Jisung was twice as covered.

“Good?” Baekhyun worried, cupping Taeyongs cheek and watching the blood smear onto his brother's skin.

“Good,” Taeyong whispered, but Baekhyun could see how scared he was beneath.

Not scared because this was something that scared them - walkers weren’t scary anymore, but because of the responsibility.

If they didn’t make it to the armory, everyone was dying.

They all knew that.

Baekhyun nodded and saw Jessie check the ammo she had, he nodded at her and she gave a scared one back.

“Me, Taeyong, Jessie, Sam, Sehun, and at the end Yifan and Kyungsoo to hold the back.” Chanyeol murmured, turning to grab Taeyong’s elbow as Kyungsoo opened the door.

Baekhyun guessed he didn’t have a specific place and squeezed in at the end, between Kyungsoo and Yifan mainly because he knew Chanyeol probably wanted one of the physically strongest of them at the very end.

“Okay.”

Chanyeol started down the stairs at a minuscule shuffle, getting to the bottom and coming face to face with a walker he paused and eyed it as he got stuck on the - now fallen - couch.

It didn’t even notice him.

They continued on at a slow walk, in line with each other and Baekhyun carefully reached out to grab the tips of Kyungsoo's fingers, not making a noise as the crowd started getting bigger - they needed to stay together.

Kyungsoo copied and reached for the person in front of him.

Baekhyun sucked in his breath as they made it past the front door and saw Chanyeol holding Taeyong’s arm as he stopped on the porch, looking around.

The streets were flooded.

There were so many walkers that they were tripping on each other, stomping others heads in their shuffle to keep going to search for food.

He was right, this was a graveyard.

Baekhyun turned to look over his shoulder and saw Yifan looking pained at the sight - all their hard work was worthless, nothing with it being overrun.

He reached out to grab the man’s hand, forcing their red hands to intertwine and only then did Yifan turn to look at him again, giving him a slight head nod, but it wasn’t reassuring at all.

Just like the prison's downfall, Yifan probably felt horrible.

It wasn’t his fault, but Baekhyun couldn't really tell him so right now.

Instead he squeezed his hand as he turned to look towards the front when Kyungsoo pulled on his hand as they started moving again.

A few yards into it, Chanyeol was leading them toward the creek, putting their backs towards it and pulling them closer together, “All right, new plan.”

Baekhyun gulped, ears full of smarling as he tried to react to a walker bumping into him.

“Flares from a few guns aren't enough. Too many walkers, too spread out. We're not going to the armory. We need our vehicles back at the quarry. All of us drive.” Yifan hissed, pulling Baekhyun closer towards the middle of the circle, “ We'll need to round 'em up. We leave, we come back.”

“Jisung… it's too much,” Sehun worried, “... to the quarry and back is too long.”

Baekhyun felt everyone turn to look at him and he gulped, shaking his head and turning to raise Kyungsoo's hand, “Hyung goes - Sehun too, we have too many people.”

“You’re going,” Chanyeol hissed, reaching out to grab Baekhyun's cheek, hand shaking, “You’re going, Baekhyun. It’s getting dark and you’re not staying out here.”

“Tae-“

“No, Hyung,” Taeyong whispered, interrupting Baekhyun, “Go. We have too many, but I’m staying.”

Baekhyun scrunched his nose up in a hiss before releasing Yifan and Kyungsoo's hands and turning to Sehun, “You’re taking him, you and Kyungsoo - and you hide in the church, okay?”

Sehun looked ready to argue, but looked over Baekhyun's head to Kyungsoo, and the man nodded, turning to lift Taeyongs covering. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Baekhyun whispered, grabbing his brother in law's face to kiss his cheek and turning around to help Kyungsoo transfer Jisung, “You stay there, Hyung.”

“Come with us,” Kyungsoo whispered, bouncing Jisung softly.

Baekhyun clenched his jaw, ready to tell him no when Taeyong grabbed his arm, “Hyung, please go.”

Taeyong didn’t beg, never did.

So, Baekhyun licked his lips, nodded, and grabbed behind Taeyongs ear to pull him into a quick hug, “You listen to everything they say.”

“Take Sam.” Jessie requested suddenly, grabbing her younger son's arm and pushing him towards them.

“No.” The kid cried.

“Yes, Sam, it'll be safer. Sam--“

“Mom, I'm not. I can keep going. I can keep going. Please. Please. Let's just go.”

Baekhyun clenched his jaw at the scene, Sam breaking down in tears and Jessie pulled him into her arms to muffle them.

He busied turning to grab Chanyeol's neck and press a kiss to his mouth, “You be careful.”

“Of course,” His husband murmured, thumb rubbing more gore into Baekhyun's jaw, “It’s dark now, you need to go.”

Baekhyun gulped and pressed their faces together once more, kissing Chanyeol's mouth harder before releasing him.

After a moment of debating, he grabbed Yifan’s shoulder and pulled him down to kiss his cheek too, “It’s not your fault, we can fix this.” He whispered, dropping his grip slowly.

Yifan only looked at him for a good moment softly before nodding and laying an nervous palm on his cheek and surging down for what must have been the fastest peck to Baekhyuns hair, “Thank you.”

Baekhyun gave a short nod, chewing his lip as he turned to Sehun and Kyungsoo.

They watched Baekhyun grab Sehun's hand and Kyungsoo's elbow, and heard the gentle shushing towards Jisung as the three started walking away.

They’d be safe.

“He's gonna make it.” Jessie whispered over Sam's head, but she wasn’t talking about them, she was sending Yifan a begging look, “Okay? I know it.”

The leader eyed the kid for a moment before turning to look at Chanyeol.

Chanyeol sighed and reached out with a whisper, “Sam.” He ordered the kid to grab his hand.

Sam did, grabbing onto Chanyeol's hand and his moms, who then grabbed Taeyong’s.

Taeyong reached to grab Ron’s and the other teenager did after a moment of hesitation and Yifan opted to pull his knife out and walk towards the back of the group.

“Let’s start.”

~~~~~~

Jongin groaned as he and Taehyung climbed up onto the roof of a building, the sky black, but at least they were safer up high up. “Thought you said climbing was all fun and games, fucker.”

The younger grimaced, accepting Jongin's hand for help up the last few ladder steps. “Yeah, well I’m a goddamn liar, I take it all back.”

“Well, this is the fourth try,” Jongin muttered, huffing as he started looking around.

“Better hope we see shit this time around.”

Jongin nodded in response, taking a seat and removing the backpack from his shoulders, batting away the single green balloon left hanging on the bag to unzip it and grab their last water.

“Hey, Hyung?”

“Yeah?” Jongin gulped a drink before standing up and walking over to the edge where Taehyung was, handing the water over.

The younger grabbed it blindly but continued squinting out towards the darkness, “Is that… that a fuel truck?”

“Holy fuck.”

Taehyung groaned as Jongin grabbed his shirt and started shoving him towards the ladder as he grabbed the backpack, “Up and down, up and down, can we choose one? This plan better work.”

“Shut the fuck up and get walking, I know how to hotwire.”

“I do too!” Taehyung huffed dramatically.

~~~~~~

Chanyeol grimaced as they stomped in puddles of blood, but it was good, they’d smell more like one of them.

They were close to the houses once again, trying to find a faster way around the walkers that wasn’t through the hole the creatures were coming through, it would be too close, too many were here already, and risking bypassing while shoulder to shoulder was too hard.

“Ugh,” He heard Taeyong gag, and he himself turned his nose up at a child walker feeding on a dead dog.

Chanyeol started pulling them faster around it, more towards the opened areas rather than the middle of the road, hand clammy around his axe.

When suddenly Sam stopped, Chanyeol pulled his arm before turning around.

The kid was getting watery eyed, breathing heavily.

“Sam?” Jessie whispered, swinging her hand that was in Sams, “Sam? Come on, come on. Sweetheart? Sam?”

“You can do it. You can do it.” Yifan hissed.

Sam's breath caught up as he released his moms hand and started crying.

“Sam. Sam, come on.” Chanyeol tried, looking around at the walkers, “Come on, Sam.”

“Sam... hey, you can do this. Sam, just look at Mom.” Ron whispered.

Jessie got louder, squeezing her hand that was in Taeyongs still and the other offering back to Sam, “Honey, you can do it. Sam, you're gonna get-- Sam, honey, I need you to come with me.”

Sam started whimpering, sobbing louder causing the walkers to become interested.

“I need you to come with me. I need you to be strong.”

The snarling got louder, and like a nightmare a walker lunged into Sam's neck, taking him to the ground for their meal and others soon started to join.

Jessie screamed, sobbing, and Chanyeol's ears rung with a buzzing, a ringing that blurred out the walkers snarling.

“Mom!” Ron echoed as a walker bit into her throat.

The walkers munching was loud, and Yifan was frozen at the sight of Jessie still screaming as she was being eaten.

“Hyung…” Taeyong grunted, releasing Ron's hand to try and remove Jessie’s tight grip, frozen in place as she was attacked, muscles tightened and holding Taeyongs arm.

The teenager grunted before his breath started to get more frantic as she wouldn’t release him, but both of his Hyungs were frozen in shock. “Hyung.”

“Hyung!” Taeyong cried, shaking his arm as walkers started getting closer.

Chanyeol snapped out of his haze at the scream.

_“Hyung!” He remembered Taeyong when they first met, “Hyung, you have to teach me to be strong!”_

He turned to hack at Jessie’s arm with his axe, sweat pouring down his face and heart racing, drowning out all other sounds until her arm broke.

Taeyong went flying on his back as he was disconnected, breathing heavily as he quickly jumped up, staring at Chanyeol and shaking.

A hammer clicked and they turned to look at Ron, he stood holding his gun straight at Yifan, eyes full of tears. “You,” His finger went towards the trigger, “You.”

Chanyeol threw his axe at the teenager and the sound of it cutting into Rons chest echoed, along with the gunshot that rang out when the - now dead - teenager flailed and threw his arms out from the pressure.

Yifan turned to look at Chanyeol wide eyed as Ron's body hit the ground with a crash and walkers snarled pleasurably at their new feast.

“H-Hyung?” Taeyong gargled.

They both turned to look at him.

The side of the teenagers neck was oozing blood, dripping down his shoulder and chest.

Taeyong blinked one time, raising his hand up towards the blood before his face went blank and he was perching forward, falling flat on the dirt.

In shock, neither man caught him. Taeyong didn’t move at all, and only did the men snap out of it was when walkers started towards the teenagers body.

“No.” Chanyeol whispered, running to pick up the teenager, lips shaking as he held Taeyong’s head to his chest, “No! Wake up!”

“Come on!” Yifan screamed, gun out and firing as Chanyeol collected the teenager. “C-Come on! Come on!”

“Shh, Tae- Taeyong, Tae!” Chanyeol yelled, tears pouring down his face as they started running with the teenager's body. “Sh, I got you, I got you, bug.” He soothed the unmoving body, an arm under his knees and the other holding the back of his neck.

Blood ran down his forearm, and he continued screaming, shaking and running behind Yifan who was clearing the way with eyes glossed over and feral.

_“Someday I’ll be just as big as you, Hyung.”_

_“Why would you want that?” Chanyeol laughed, tossing the ball back to Taeyong and glancing at his watch, he needed to switch Namjoon on watch soon, but didn’t want to leave Taeyong to play alone._

_The twelve year old grinned and shrugged a tiny bit as he leaned down to grab the baseball, the gun hanging on his thigh bouncing in its holster, “Because I think… you could survive anything if you’re that big.”_

_Chanyeol cackled._

“Come on, T-Tae, come on. You’re strong, you’re strong.”

~~~~~~

“Oh… oh my god,” Luhan whispered under his breath, holding up the curtain.

“Guys,” He muttered before taking a deeper breath, “Guys!”

He found people swarming over his back instantly to see the sight.

The sight of Yifan loading holes into walkers and Chanyeol carrying Taeyong behind him, running towards the very house they were in.

“It’s… the kid,” Olivia muttered, “Is he bit?”

Yixing gasped before turning around to grab things off the tables, “I need bandages.”

People jumped into action instantly as Jungkook ran to open the door for Yifan and Chanyeol, stepping onto the patio to shoot the walkers following them.

“Boiled water from the fridge and all the clean towels you can find. Jongdae, clear the couch off!” Yixing yelled, pushing through people frantically. “This is a gunshot?”

“Handgun. Close range.” Yifan gasped for breath as Chanyeol laid Taeyong down.

Chanyeol’s hand reached out towards him, shaking against Taeyongs cheek, “Please save him. Please.” He whispered, voice faraway.

“I need light.

Yifan, towel. Hold it here.

Okay, we need to keep pressure on the wound.

I'll go in and sew up any lacerations.

Just like that, right here.

Now, Jongdae, I need that pan. That one on the tray. Good. I'm going to clean and close this. Minseok, keep following me with the towel.”

A palm shoved Chanyeol back, away and he turned around to face the wall as he barely registered Luhan removing the sheet from his head.

“Yeol,”

Chanyeol walked over to the window with a hand over his mouth, sniffing into his palm before his brows pulled together at the walkers outside.

“Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol turned to grab a machete off the table, walking towards the front door.

“What-- what are you doing? Chanyeol! Chanyeol!”

They watched Chanyeol walk through the door and cursed under his breath, “I need to go out there!” Yifan yelled, hands shaking as Yixing forced him to hold the wound so he could close it.

“Just one more suture,” Yixing growled.

“I need to go help him.” Yifan hissed, Yixing snapped his head up to look at him, “This is fucking Taeyong, give me a second.”

“He's taking them all on.” Jongdae yelled, looking out the window.

“We have to go get him.” Luhan said firmly.

Minseok looked at him like he was crazy, “What?”

“We have to. This is it.”

“Okay, got it.” Yixing cried, throwing a clean bandage over the suture. “I got him.”

Yifan sagged in relief and pressed his head down on Taeyongs, “You can do it, bug, come on.” Then he pressed a kiss to his forehead and spun around to grab his knife and gun, running outside with the others on his tail.

Walkers were surrounding Chanyeol, the man groaning and panting as he swung his machete around, “Come at me! Come on!”

“Tight circle!” Yifan screamed, slicing through to get to Chanyeol, “Back to back!”

Chanyeol turned to them, blood dripping down his face, Yifan nodded.

“Knock them away!” Chanyeol screamed over the snarling, kicking a walker off his machete and frantically looking around, “Drive them down!”

A door slammed and he looked up, people were coming outside, Heath and Junmyeon running out of a house with knives.

“We can beat them!” Yifan encouraged, “We can!”

~~~~~~

“Sh, Shh, baby, why are you crying?” Baekhyun soothed, patting Jisungs back as the toddler fussed, fingers clenching on Baekhyun's shirt.

“Want a break?” Kyungsoo pulled away from the window to walk over, rubbing Baekhyun's back and using his other hand to grab Jisungs little hand. “Our Jisungie must miss everyone so much, huh? That’s what’s wrong, baby?”

Jisung sniffed louder, curling his hand around Kyungsoo's finger with a nod, “Hyungs.”

“That’s okay,” Baekhyun crooned, kissing his cheek, “You can see them soon, you can bug Tae until he comes to tell on you, okay?”

“ kay.”

“That’s my baby,” Kyungsoo smiled, pressing his forehead on Jisungs hair, “Just go to bed -“

“That’s it! Drive them down!” Was heard outside and Kyungsoo lifted his head to meet Baekhyun's equally confused eyes.

“We can do this together!”

This time they both ran to the window, pressing into Sehun's back who stared in shock. “They're… they…” Sehun mumbled.

“We have to go help,” Baekhyun whispered, “Guys… they're all doing it - it’s thinning out.” He added.

“Stay with Jisung.” Kyungsoo ordered, turning towards the benches to grab his weapons and shoving some towards Sehun.

Baekhyun gawked in offense, “I’m a big help and you know it.”

“Then who will stay with the baby?” Sehun asked, “Hyung, Jisung will cry to-“

The church door slammed open suddenly, and Sehun's scolding look quickly turned into relief as Luhan dripped walker guts inside, but instead of turning towards his soulmate ran to grab Baekhyun's arm. “Come on.”

“What? What - I don’t have-“

“We’re taking you to Taeyong!” Luhan cried, his hand spreading walker blood on Jisungs back when he reached out to comfort him for startling him.

“Tae?”

“Just - fucking come with us!” Luhan ordered, turning to yank a thin blanket off the bench to throw around Jisung and tying it around Baekhyun's shoulders - there were too many, he didn’t want Jisung to be scared.

“What the hell?” Kyungsoo spat, “Where's Taeyong?”

Luhan's face scrunched up in pain as he slammed an angry palm down on the bench, “He’s been shot! Get your asses going! I don’t know anymore! Baekhyun needs to see him!”

Baekhyun's eyes sprung with tears instantly, but internally he was denying the possibility and rushed towards the door, could hear the others just outside presumably trying to clear their way.

Sehun threw the door open and instantly Baekhyun had Kyungsoo at his back pushing him towards the group.

“Baek! In the middle!” He heard Minseok yell, but it barely registered.

He didn’t move at all even as Kyungsoo ran past him to kill a walker that was too close for comfort.

“Baekhyun!” Chanyeol yelled, running over and grabbing Baekhyun to pick up bridal style, dripping wet with sweat and blood, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry - I-I’m so sorry.”

Baekhyun screamed, and the only thing keeping him from losing his entire mind was the fact that the others were doing so for him, and Jisung was crying into his shirt.


	72. Everyone Loves You

  
“What the hell is this plan of yours?” Taehyung groaned, grabbing a walker's hair and stabbing before throwing it down and reaching for the next.

Jongin gritted his teeth as he continued trying to twist the rusted hose on the back of the fuel truck.

“This creek goes directly into the creek inside Alexandria, it’s gonna light it all up.”

Taehyung grunted and kicked at a walkers knee, hearing it break as the creature fell down snarling now attempting to crawl towards him, “That’s fucking awesome but can you hurry it up, it’s getting kind of hard to carry your ass.”

Jongin chuckled before cursing and moving to press his back against the fuel tank and kick at the rusted metal that was blocking gas from coming out.

It squealed and Jongin hissed and kicked harder, the metal came popping off and he laughed, grabbing the pouring hose and throwing it into the water. “Got it, climb up!” He yelled, climbing up onto the top of the fuel tank.

Taehyung panted and Jongin reached down to grab his hand, yanking the younger on top.

Taehyung grunted and flopped down onto the metal on his back, “Now what, genius?”

Jongin sighed and took a seat to catch his breath, “Let it flow, then drive away a little, and - grenade, then we walk in and help.” He explained, pointing at the backpack. “Why the hell did you bring grenades anyways?”

“Hey, I always did have sticky fingers.”

“This is the one and only time I’ll agree it came in handy.”

“Don’t lie, Hyung.” The younger laughed, reaching out to hit Jongin's knee, “You love me.”

~~~~~~

They were getting backed in, the wall behind them as the walkers started closing in.

They had killed so many - but were still outnumbered.

“Back up!” Yifan screamed, digging his knife into a walkers skull, “Move back!”

He heard a groan and saw Zitao slip slightly in the mud, falling onto his back and ran over to grab him, swinging his blade out at those walkers that got too close.

“Fuck, Hyung - too many,” Zitao worried, jumping up with a limp and grabbing his metal rod to impale a walker.

Yifan knew there were too many, everyone was starting to look worried - but they were still fighting.

Maybe he had been wrong to give up on others so soon, because Heath was here, Spencer was here, Olivia was here - a list of Alexandrians were here to help.

Jongdae was right.

“Everyon-“

He was cut off when a bright orange lit up in the distance, a huge explosion beyond the walls, and only moments later the orange ran right into the creek that ran through their town.

Yifan laughed in disbelief as the walkers got distracted by the color and noise, turning to check his people and watched Kyungsoo help Jungkook off the ground.

“Jongin!” Minseok yelled, laughing, “It has to be! Taehyung and Jongin!”

Yifan smiled before quickly bringing himself together and running up on a walkers back.

“Don’t let up!” Chanyeol screamed.

And he was right, they could do this together.

~~~~~~

Baekhyun had been awake for hours.

Hours sitting here shaking his leg and leaning over Taeyongs bed, he felt like his brother was a kid again, like he needed all his help.

So he helped.

He removed Taeyong's dirty clothes and got a pot of water to clean him up, scrubbed all the dirt from his younger brother's skin to reveal pale, untouched skin, occasionally bruises or small scrapes.

Baekhyun cleaned those too, stole the alcohol wipes from Yixing to spend hours wiping them up.

The difference between now and then was that Taeyong was always a big talker, especially when he was little.

Now, not so much except when it was with him - or them, their family.

Their family that Baekhyun knew were waiting outside the house or at least outside this room for any updates.

There were none, because Taeyong hadn’t moved an inch, not since him and Yixing had carried him into a separate room and since Baekhyun broke a glass cabinet in anger.

Taeyongs face was pale, not flushed or even remotely pink as normal, but his chest was rising and falling, and occasionally Baekhyun just rested his hand over it to check - continuously check that he wasn’t just seeing things he wanted to see.

But if he were it definitely didn’t entail Taeyong's neck wrapped in a stained bandage, never.

Or the unhealthy stillness his brother had, the skin of his jaw and collarbones unable to be cleaned because Yixing worried it would wet his bandage and cause an infection, reluctantly Baekhyun couldn't clean those areas right now.

So he opted to do what he could.

“You used to like this a lot,” He whispered, dragging a damp towel across Taeyong’s forehead, “Never wanted to learn to take baths alone because Hyung would always do it for you.”

Baekhyun laughed, watery and pulled back to sigh, “I mean, you were five, what did I expect?”

He licked his mouth and the entire point of cleaning Taeyong was probably counterproductive when Baekhyun was touching his face moments later, unintentionally smearing his own grime onto his brother's skin.

But that was okay, just another reason to keep paying attention to Taeyong.

Yixing was guessing the only reason Taeyong hadn’t bled out was because of the heat of the gunshot, that it cauterized his wound and must have missed his artery or else Taeyong should have bleed out in minutes - but he didn’t, he was still breathing.

Baekhyun didn’t really give a fuck what reason Taeyong was still breathing as long as he wasn’t dead.

Now that the streets were flooded with dead walkers, they had the opportunity to get more supplies, and the last time anyone had come in had been Yixing to hook Taeyong to an IV and let him know that everyone was safe.

Baekhyun did care about that, but had other things to care about more.

“You’re going to be so handsome,” Baekhyun whispered, but it was barely audible as he brought Taeyong's limp hand up to his mouth, both of his dirtied hands holding it, “Hyung doesn’t tell you that often, but you are. You ar- are my favorite person and I love you, okay? I- I love you, bug, don’t.. don't die, please don’t die, everyone loves you.”

Baekhyun laid Taeyong’s hand down on the bed before standing up, walking away from the bed only to release a screeching sob and grab a picture off the wall and throw it across the room.

Only moments later the door was opening and he heard the sounds of people stepping on the glass of the frame but only screamed again, louder in pain and started hitting at the wall with opened palms.

“You don’t want visitors, but I think you’ll make exceptions for us,” Kyungsoo said, fast walking over to throw his arms around Baekhyun's waist, trapping the smallers arms down at his sides and Baekhyun sobbed and dropped his knees to the ground, Kyungsoo went with him to the floor.

“Sh, baby. That’s enough, sh, stop, stop.”

Baekhyun panted as Kyungsoo lifted him to sit in his lap, arms restraining, but gentle as he held his husband's arms down and rocked him, “We can cry together, please don’t tell us to leave.”

“T-Taeyong-“ Baekhyun wailed, writhing until Kyungsoo released his arms, but he didn’t go back to hitting, only grabbing his husband's shirt to bury his face into it with a scratchy sob.

“We know,” Kyungsoo whispered, hand cupping the back of Baekhyun's head and holding him into his shoulder so he wouldn’t see him cry, knowing Baekhyun would hate that more. “We.. we just have to wait and see, baby. I-I can… can’t be the strong one today, okay? It has to be you.”

Baekhyun pressed his chin into Kyungsoo's shoulder, tears dripping down his face and saw Chanyeol look away instantly from where he had taken a seat at Taeyongs bed, holding the teenager's hand.

Chanyeol opened his mouth, and Baekhyun was afraid it would be another apology, but he wasn’t looking at him, only reaching out to lay a hand on Taeyong’s forehead. “I was wrong. I thought after living behind these walls for so long that… maybe they couldn't learn. But today... I saw what they could do, what we could do, if we work together.”

His voice cracked and his face pulled together, Baekhyun started sobbing again at the sight.

“We'll rebuild the walls. We'll expand the walls. There will be more. There's gotta be more. Everything Deanna was talking about... is possible. It's all possible. I- we see that now.” Chanyeol cried, “When I was out there... with them... when it was over... when I knew we had this place again... I had this feeling. It took me a while to remember what it was... because I haven't felt it since I first saw you two…”

He trailed off and it was enough for Baekhyun to crawl out of Kyungsoo's lap with choked cries to throw himself near Chanyeol's feet until the man was crying just as much and reaching down to pick him up, setting him on the edge of Taeyongs bed.

Baekhyun turned to curl around Taeyongs legs to cry, pressing his cheek into his brother's blanket covered stomach.

None of them were strong enough to keep the tears away, not anymore and maybe never again, because it was all a lie.

They didn’t grieve - it was a lie.

They didn’t care about living - was a lie.

And they were used to death - was a shitty lie.

Because death never got easier, and it never felt any less than losing a piece of yourself.

And this is what it felt like, a taste of death, because Taeyong wasn’t dead yet, but it felt that way.

“We want to show you the new world, Taeyong.” Kyungsoo whispered, taking the seat Baekhyun was once in with bloodshot eyes, “We want to make it a reality for you. Please, bug... let us show you. Plea-- please, Tae, don't die.”

~~~~~~

Baekhyun didn’t know when he had fallen asleep, but when he woke up it was to muffled talking and a hand rubbing his arm.

He shifted, alerting them to him being awake and lifted his cheek from Taeyong’s hip where he had moved and hopefully sat up to look at his brother's face.

Still asleep.

Baekhyun deflated and swung his legs off the side of the bed to rub his eyes, “How long?”

“About an hour,” Kyungsoo answered, “Yifan is here.”

Baekhyun grunted an acknowledgement, still rubbing his eyes because they felt dried out, sore.

“Hope you don’t mind,” Yifan commented, and Baekhyun jumped a small bit at how close his voice was, now sitting where Chanyeol was an hour prior, “There's a surprise for you, not that we think anything can make you feel better right now.”

He sighed, laying his hands in his lap and turning to look at Yifan - he still hadn’t cleaned up too, and something about that made Baekhyun feel not as disgusting, “Of course I don’t mind, the… the others can come visit too, we’re family.”

Yifan smiled, patting his arm with a small nod but it was sorrowful, apologetic and Baekhyun climbed off the bed sending him a warning look.

Because he didn’t want them to apologize for something that wasn’t their fault.

Ron had pulled the trigger.

It didn’t matter what other details he heard, that’s all he needed to know, and if the kid wasn’t dead right now he would have been when Baekhyun saw him.

“Where am I going?” Baekhyun sighed as Chanyeol adjusted his shirt over his collarbone, automatically pulling him closer.

“Just outside,” Kyungsoo muttered with a tired grin, “We’ll watch Taeyong.”

Baekhyun gulped at the thought of leaving Taeyong, but knew there was nothing to be done anyways, it was just time to wait. Wait and see.

He moved towards the door and scratched uncomfortably as he walked out, shutting the door behind him and ignoring the few family members that were waiting in the living room.

“Bae-“

Baekhyun gave a strained smile, waving awkwardly as he escaped the room only hearing the beginning of whatever Jongdae was trying to say to run out.

The front door squeaked as he pushed it open and he instantly cringed at how disgusting it was outside now.

Walkers quite literally were flooding streets with their bodies and blood, he heard Jisung laughing and wasn’t surprised that the toddler had still managed to convince people to play with him despite the conditions, he was adorable and had a mean pout.

“Baekhyun Hyung,” Sehun greeted, leaning up against the porch fence, grinning like he knew something Baekhyun didn’t, “You look pretty today.”

Baekhyun knew he was just trying to cheer him up and snorted, “Say that again I’ll drop kick you.”

Sehun only beamed and turned to point at something in the distance, “Surprise, surprise. Seems everyone has a lot of fight in them.”

He followed the youngers finger and immediately wanted to hit him, “Thanks, because what I need right now is definitely a fucking truck. Fuck you.” He said bluntly, turning to walk back towards the door.

“That’s not your surprise, Sehuns a fucking idiot,” Junmyeon blocked his way, gently grabbing Baekhyun's arm and pulling him off the porch, ignoring Sehuns offended scoffing.

“Your surprise-“

Baekhyun didn’t need to listen because a laugh rang out and he’d know it anywhere, knees weakening as Junmyeon pulled him around the house, still saying words Baekhyun wasn’t hearing.

Because Jongin was here, and he and Taehyung were okay, only covered in blood but otherwise not unlike the rest of them, laughing and talking to Zitao, Minseok, and Heath.

“- completely Taehyung's fault because he’s an idiot.”

Baekhyun's knees went out, he fell into the grass, the blood on his clothes making the dry grass stick, but his knees hitting the dirt was loud, everyone stopped talking.

“Baek,”

Baekhyun's face must have shown how relieved he was because Jongin's dropped and the man was digging in his pockets.

“Hey,” Jongin whispered, approaching with something scrunched in his hand, “Hey… I -I know it’s been a while, I brought you.. a balloon.” He opened his palm and a neon green balloon sat limply, “Well, I did have one until Taehyung popped it.”

It was ridiculous.

It was so ridiculous Baekhyun laughed but it turned into a sob as he grabbed Jongin's legs.

“Oh, baby,” Jongin mumbled, dropping to his knees to accept Baekhyun and kissing his head, “Missed you too, I missed you so much.”

“H-Hyung.”

Baekhyun sobbed and grabbed Jongin's face to press their foreheads together, “I love you, I love you.”

Jongin smiled, eyes watering as he squeezed Baekhyun's shoulders tight. “I love you, Baekhyun.”

Baekhyun wheezed, an unintentionally loud cry as he was shakingly brought to his feet, but not out of Jongin's hold, “Ta-Taeyong, Taeyong…dying.”

“What?”

“T-Tae-“

Jongin grabbed his face and frantically pulled them to look at eachother, “No. That’s insane, not possible.”

Baekhyun's lips trembled at the anguished tone and he nodded slightly, fingers digging into Jongin's shoulders.

“I don’t believe-“

The front door burst open so hard it hit the wall beside it as Yixing practically threw himself out, face bright red, “Taeyong's hand moved! He moved!”

Baekhyun promptly passed out, but for a relieved reason.


	73. Tension

  
The community was coming back together quickly.

It had been ever since Taeyong woke up three days later - it was a day everyone cried, even strangers, and that left Baekhyun confused, but elated.

Taeyong wasn’t the same, how could he be after such an experience?

In fact, he didn’t like to talk about it at all, and hid in his room so often that they had to take turns checking up on him and bringing him food.

Baekhyun felt terrible for thinking so, but he was happy Taeyong was staying in, even if it was because he was angry and scared, because at least he knew his brother was safe.

“Bug, I brought breakfast.” Baekhyun said as he pushed Taeyongs door open.

It took a minute because the room was a disaster. Comics and books strewn all over, shirts everywhere, a few video games were smashed in pieces on the floor.

Baekhyun didn’t say a word, because he knew what it felt like.

“You didn’t knock.”

The elder leaned down to put the plate on Taeyongs side table before sighing and looking where his brother was sat on the floor in front of a mirror, trying to pull his shirt collar up, they met eyes and Taeyong threw a hand over his neck.

Baekhyun nodded to himself slightly before walking around the bed to crouch down and throw his arms over Taeyongs shoulders, “When do I ever knock?”

“You should.” His little brother mumbled, but it didn’t carry any feeling.

Baekhyun only hummed, watching Taeyongs face in the mirror as he ran a hand through his hair before grabbing his brother's cheek and tilting his head to the side.

Taeyong stiffened up quickly, but Baekhyun ignored it in favor of pressing a kiss to his temple and looking at his neck.

It wasn’t a pretty sight. In fact, Baekhyun could go as far as to say it was disturbing.

The bullet went clean through his neck, a bit above his collarbone and had barely missed the top of his spinal cord on it's way out.

That was great news, fantastic because it meant Taeyong wasn’t paralyzed, and functionally, he was fine.

But mentally he wasn’t.

The wound was still healing of course; it had only been two weeks, and it would be a while, but the likelihood it would grow to look any better was low.

The skin around it would still be burned, about an inch all the way around the deep red scar, Yixing had done what he could in a limited time to close it, and felt very guilty because he believed if he worked on it harder he could have gotten it to heal nicer.

Taeyong lived so nobody would fault him for panicking.

Plus, it wasn’t about the scarring or that it didn’t look nice - it was about the reason it was there, an unneeded wound - well, that’s what Baekhyun assured him with at least, but it was a lie if he said Taeyong wasn’t disturbed by how it looked.

There was a smaller one on the back of his neck, not nearly as bad, but Taeyong has long hair and it covered that. Baekhyun knew he was trying to figure out how to do the same for the one in the front.

“Still handsome, Taeyong.” Baekhyun breathed, pressing his forehead on Taeyongs shoulder.

His brother didn’t respond, not that he expected him to because Baekhyun was lucky Taeyong even wanted to speak to him at all - he didn’t talk to anyone else really, only Jisung apparently because his husbands were telling him they had yet to hear more than a few words from Taeyong.

Baekhyun did feel bad because they sounded so upset, but there was nothing he could do to help, he wouldn’t force Taeyong to do anything he didn’t want to.

“Love you,” Baekhyun added, standing up and reaching down to pick up a few shirts from the ground and throwing them on top of his dresser on his walk out, “I’ll have Hyungs find you more video games, I’ll go raid Ro- I mean Jessie’s house.”

He was pretty sure Taeyong wasn’t scared of facing what happened, but Baekhyun knew what it was like to constantly be reminded of trauma.

Plus, he was sure it must have been terrifying for Taeyong to have thought he was going to die simply due to being unable to move with Jessie’s hand stilling him, and then again in the moments blood dripped down his neck, Baekhyun didn’t like to think about it that much because it gave him chills.

All he knew was Taeyong said the wound didn’t hurt, that he truly hadn’t ever felt it, and that was probably due to the adrenaline pumping due to his own fear - at least that’s what Yixing told him.

It was odd because Taeyong wasn’t the type to be so afraid.

But, who wouldn’t be afraid of being surrounded by walkers and unable to do a thing about it? Then, seconds later dropping unconscious.

“Hyung, I’m out of toothpaste.”

Baekhyun laughed with his hand on the doorknob, “Okay, baby, I’ll find you some more.”

He waited a second to see if there was a reply - there wasn’t - so he walked downstairs and scooped up Jisung from the bottom of the stairs, “Sungie, what did Hyung say about playing near the stairs?” He scolded, carrying the toddler to the table back to his barely touched breakfast.

“Say… Hyung might fall down.” Jisung pouted, moving to sit on his knees and reach for his juice, “But… but, Tae Tae?”

“Tae Tae is busy and I promise you can see him later, handsome.” Baekhyun murmured, pressing a kiss to his head and patting his bottom, “Sit down right and eat.” He ordered before turning to walk into the kitchen with a heavy sigh and dragging feet, only picking up to rush at the coffee pot.

“What’d Tae say today?” Jongin asked behind him at the sink, Baekhyun instantly deflated his excitement for coffee as he grabbed a mug.

He looked around for a minute and wasn’t surprised at all that Kyungsoo and Chanyeol were looking up from the couch for a response. So hopeful for nothing.

“Nothing. Destroyed his room, asked for toothpaste and told me I should knock.”

He heard a sigh and didn’t bother seeing who it was.

“Did you ask him why he doesn’t want to see us?”

Again, Baekhyun sighed but started towards the dining room to see the three of them better, rubbing his temple as he sat down and raised a brow at Jisung until the toddler sat down correctly. “Hyung. I keep telling you that I ca-“

“It’s because he blames me, huh?” Chanyeol interrupted.

Baekhyun nearly rolled his eyes but knew that would be insensitive. “It wasn’t your fault, he’s just having a hard time adjusting. Just think about it - he’s never had to be afraid of walkers his entire life, and in one split second that changed.”

“Taeyong? Scared of walkers?” Jongin scoffed and Baekhyun's jaw clenched even though his husband was reasonable to find it entertaining when Taeyong would go out of his way in the forest to hunt walkers.

“Look, I told you guys I’m not going to ask him, that’s not my business.”

“How is it not?” Kyungsoo frowned at him, “Taeyong is our family too, the least you can do is ask him why he doesn’t want to talk to us.”

“The least I could do?” Baekhyun rolled his eyes and stood up, “What the hell? Don’t act like it’s my job or something, go ask him yourself.”

“Well he only wants to talk to you,” Chanyeol pointed out.

Baekhyun did roll his eyes again, “He’s my brother, am I supposed to feel bad because he’s my brother - practically my own kid because I raised him?”

“Baek, we raised him too, for a good… nearly five years? Something like that.”

“That’s nothing compared to how long we’ve been together,” Baekhyun growled, grabbing Jisung when the toddler made grabby hands at him, “And don’t act like it wasn’t a group effort, everyone helped.”

“So we’re not special.” Kyungsoo concluded, raising a brow.

Baekhyun gawked before shaking his head and grabbing a set of keys off the shelf, other hand patting Jisungs back, “Don't put words in my mouth. I’m going out, don’t worry I’ll give Jisung to someone else for the day so you don’t need to watch him.”

He started towards the door and was both surprised and offended none of them added anything more or even said they wanted to watch Jisung. He shouldn’t feel so upset about that, Jisung was everyone's responsibility, but everything just felt so annoying right now.

“Lock the door behind me,” Baekhyun murmured, “Please.”

~~~~~~

He promised Taeyong he’d go through the now empty houses and find him some new, unbroken games, so he was.

It felt rude to be sorting through Jessie’s house like this when it had only been weeks since she and her family died, but after what they put Taeyong through, Baekhyun thought it was a safe thing to do.

Plus, they were dead, and he wasn’t; obviously they’d be more useful in his hands.

Baekhyun also, admittedly, was jealous about how much stuff they had so he just took things he liked - hardly mattered when they’d have to clear this place anyways.

Nobody would want this house anyways, not until it was fixed at least and… everything downstairs redone.

Even with the walkers all gone it still reeked and everything was a deep reddish black, the color of old blood.

“What are you doing?” A voice laughed.

Baekhyun jumped, the pile of snacks in his hand dropped and he pouted as one landed in a pile of walker blood. “Hyung!”

Yifan snickered, “You raiding houses now? For what… fruit snacks?” He laughed, coming around the counter to look at the packages.

“Just the dead people's houses, Jisung could use these more than them.”

“Plus, you feel entitled,” The leader murmured, resting his jaw on his palm to eye Baekhyun.

Baekhyun glanced up and threw his duffle bag down to shove the snacks inside, “Don't you have a wall to be working on and not harassing innocent citizens?”

Yifan chuckled, “Innocent?”

The younger blushed and pouted his lips a small bit as he looked up at him, “Yes, I feel entitled, her kid almost killed Taeyong - all this shit is Taeyong’s.”

Instead of laughing or even telling him how arrogant that sounded, Yifan just reached over the counter to help him put the snacks away and Baekhyun sat back to watch him, waiting for him to scold.

Yifan didn’t though, only looking at him as he dropped the last few granola bars inside before his gaze suddenly got intense and Baekhyun flushed again, reaching over to fiddle with the zipper on the back as a distraction.

“Ron wasn’t going for Taeyong, he was going for me, Baekhyun. Taeyong was caught in the crossfire and almost died because of me.”

Baekhyun felt his stomach burn because he already knew that - but it didn’t make it any more Yifan’s fault than it was Chanyeol’s - because it wasn’t either of their fault and he was just glad his brother was alive.

“Shut up.”

“Baekhyun, re-“

Baekhyun's eyes watered and he didn’t know how fast he got around the counter to grab Yifan’s shirt and push him into the island, “Shut up, it's not.”

He could feel Yifan’s chest rising and falling from where his hand was tangled into his shirt, resting against his chest and forced his tears down, he thought he was doing a good job of making them leave until Yifan’s hand was cupping the back of his neck and pulling him closer. “Okay. Okay, sweetheart.”

With Yifan everything was so easy, and Baekhyun's arms were wrapping around his waist as he sniffed, letting the man guide him to rest his cheek on his chest.

“The wall is nearly done, like it was never down in the first place.”

Baekhyun always liked that Yifan knew when to shut up, even if he was only trying to calm people down.

“And then we will start going on runs again, looking for more people - expanding, like Deanna wanted. And… we’re going to continue to do what we can to stay good people, okay?”

Fingers slipped under his jaw and Yifan pulled his face up to meet eyes with Baekhyun who nodded.

“How is he?”

Baekhyun felt better and knew it was because Yifan had perfected the craft of working his way around until he could speak to him calmly, he was always good at that. “Still isn’t talking to anyone but me and Jisung. Even then, it’s not anything… important, asked for toothpaste this morning and that’s it.”

“Hey, that’s important,” Yifan joked.

Baekhyun snorted and gently hit his arm, “Yeah, because months in a forest and toothpaste was what we really cared about.”

“Hey, I don’t know about you, but when we got toothbrushes I didn’t want to stop brushing.” The leader added.

The smaller threw his head back in a laugh, “I mean… I guess after a while you just get used to it, I admit… toothpaste is much better than kis-“

Baekhyun cut his joke off with ears turning pink and realized it probably wasn’t a good thing to joke about with Yifan, but the leader only continued looking at him, a hand resting between his shoulder blades and back probably hurting from Baekhyun's body forcing him into the island.

The younger gasped at the realization and went to take a step back, “Oh, I’m sorry, that probably -“

“I don’t mind at all,” Yifan said, hand grasping around the back of Baekhyun's elbow to stop him when he stepped back, “What were you saying?”

He licked his lips nervously, and felt Yifan’s hand pull him closer the smallest bit. “I-I was… was going to say… kissi-I mean toothpaste… better for kissing, I mea- yeah, yeah, that’s it.”

Yifan hummed at his nervousness, something about his glance analyzing before he shrugged the smallest bit, “I wouldn’t know.”

Surely he and Yixing had still kissed? Baekhyun wondered, or at least did so before Yixing went off to join Junmyeon and Minseok… but, then again he still didn’t even know Yixing had left Yifan in the first place.

It wasn’t his business anyways, he told himself.

“Of course, I wouldn’t mind knowing.” Yifan added softly, a hand tugging Baekhyun's jacket more over his collarbone, “But,” He muttered, sliding past Baekhyun and grabbing a granola bar from the youngers bag, “Only one person here is worth risking feelings over, and unfortunately doesn’t feel the same.”

He walked around the kitchen intending to leave and Baekhyun was still. “Who?” He whispered, back towards Yifan but he could hear the doorknob grinding as he turned it.

“Isn’t it obvious, Baekhyun?” Yifan drawled, “You think you're unwanted, but it’s really the opposite - it always has been. You’re not damaged.”

The door shutting sounded loud and Baekhyun's throat felt like something was stuck in it as he leaned onto the island and dropped his head in his hands.

~~~~~~

“Hyung, Hyung! Hey! Wait up!”

Baekhyun stopped and turned to acknowledge Taehyung with a smile, adjusting his heavy duffle bag over his shoulder and taking a bite of his candy bar.

“Hey, what's all that?” The younger laughed, tugging the strap playfully until Baekhyun groaned and made a move to kick him.

“You've been crying?” Taehyung added with a frown, reaching out to touch the redness by Baekhyun's eye.

Baekhyun jerked his head away before smiling and holding out his half eaten candy bar, “Here. I found one Jungkook can have too, hold on.” He murmured, kneeling down in the street to dig in his bag.

Taehyung beamed before crouching down to, taking a bite of the candy and eyeing all the stuff inside, “Hey, I love this game!” He cried, grabbing Spyro from the bag.

“Found a GameCube, I don’t really know about games but… I just took them all. You should go play with Taeyong, you or Jungkook. I mean… Jungkook is only five years older than Tae..”

“You don’t need to convince me, I’m in! Eat all your new snacks too, babe.”

Baekhyun snorted and shook his head as he started pulling some snacks out too, just because they had enough to go around now, and he didn’t feel like walking to the ration pantry to put them in.

“Oh, almost forgot,” Taehyung added, shoving his pockets full of whatever Baekhyun shoved towards him, “I haven’t had time to see you, and felt it was rude to invade with Taeyong… yeah, so. Thank you for saving Ju-“

“Shut up,” The elder cut him off and shoved his knee, “Seriously, shut up. Of course I’d help him and I’d help you… and anyone else that’s here, Taehyung. We’re family, I wasn’t just going to watch him be killed!”

“That would be some sick, sick, shit.” Taehyung mustered up with an awkward grin before pulling his face together seriously, “Really, Hyung. And then.. I was over my head, if I hadn't found Jongin when I did... I would have been fucked out there, I had no idea what to do when those walkers swarmed, I-I…”

“Listen to me,” Baekhyun whispered, grabbing his wrist tightly, “Don't you ever risk your life for us, do you understand me? Something goes wrong outside these walls you keep your ass here and don’t even think for one second that you go looking. Got it? You didn’t see me going out, you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because it’s pointless, Taehyung.” Baekhyun sighed, “If something goes wrong, then it does, and I love Jongin, and I can’t thank you enough, but even he would tell you that you’re insane and to never go after him again. You leave it alone.”

Taehyung groaned, “Well… he did seem pretty mad…”

Baekhyun snickered, rolling his eyes and standing up, “You’re fucking crazy.”

“You love me,” The younger laughed, yanking Baekhyun's shirt until he stayed still long enough for Taehyung to latch on, “So what's for dinner, gorgeous?”

“It’s going to be you if you keep throwing me around,” Baekhyun pouted.

Taehyung cackled and Baekhyun sighed, “Fine. I’ll make you pancakes - just this once, Taehyung!”

“You said that the last four times!”


	74. Time To Split

  
“I need to talk to you.”

Baekhyun sighed and rubbed his eyes, hair standing up every which way as he turned around to look at Yixing who just burst in.

“Can't I eat breakfast first?” Baekhyun pouted.

Yixing only sent him a stern look so Baekhyun supposed not and sighed as he leaned over to set his bowl on the coffee table and stood up.

“What’s up?” Baekhyun asked, but Yixing was already grabbing his sleeve and yanking him out of the house, the younger flustered, stumbling on his sock covered feet, “I’m in pajamas!” He whined in embarrassment, but Yixing just continued pulling him across the street.

“Okay, listen up.” Yixing muttered, grabbing Baekhyun's cheek, and leaning against his front door, “I’m tired of seeing him mope around, and I know… even if it’s to the smallest degree you feel something towards him. I’m not trying to sway you to do or say anything, hell, you’re probably going to deny it, but just… just see him for a little bit? Please.”

“Yifan is sad?”

“No, sweetie.” Yixing laughed softly, “He’s.. he won’t admit it, but he’s lonely ever since… well, you know, and we both… knew that he had a… crush on you and it just.. it blew up, Baekhyun. He’d never tell you, but he wants your attention.”

Baekhyun's chest suddenly sped up and he frowned, “I… I broke you up?”

“Not at all.” His friend snickered, pinching his cheek almost like Baekhyun was a child, “We just never were… those kinds of soulmates, you know? We tried to be, tried to make the other not so lonely, but it didn’t work.

Plus, I can’t blame him at all, you’re.. you're something very special, Baekhyun, and we all want to take care of you… and Yifan really hates that he can’t control his feelings, because… you have people already, but it’s not his fault, and it’s not your fault either.”

Baekhyun opened and closed his mouth a few times, but truthfully didn’t know what to say.

Up until recently, Baekhyun never had any clue at all to how Yifan saw him, he always just assumed it was like family, because he always took care of him as family would. Baekhyun always just assumed he saw him as a child with their six year age differences.

“Okay,” Baekhyun shuffled awkwardly in place, “I’ll… i'll see him.”

Yixing grinned, but Baekhyun knew the elder already knew he would agree.

“Okay! I won’t interrupt this time.”

Baekhyun flushed down his neck and groaned as he pushed Yixing out of the way, ears a bright red as he heard the medic laughing.

As he stepped in he didn’t see Yifan lounging around downstairs as was typical of the man in the mornings, so Baekhyun chewed his lip and carefully shut the door behind him.

He had been upstairs before, of course he had, he knew exactly what room was what and who’s, a room specifically for Taeyong and Jisung to the right and a spare room to the left.

He had always wondered why Yixing and Yifan didn’t share a room - it hadn’t been his business so he hadn’t asked - but now it made a hell of a whole lot of sense.

Baekhyun still did feel awkward opening Yifan’s door, but it was cracked already so he figured the coast was clear.

He shuffled in, chewing his lip and laughing under his breath at all the weapons laid about. Out of curiosity, Baekhyun turned to the dresser and started looking at Yifan’s pistol, it was a police edition glock pistol, Baekhyun had always known the man to carry it around so he was nosy.

“You gonna shoot me, beautiful?”

Baekhyun smiled, playfully turning around to face the bed and smiling at Yifan sitting on the edge, bathroom door open and a towel resting over his tank top covered shoulders, “Careful, I just might.”

Yifan snickered and Baekhyun giggled and placed the gun back, running his hand along the pile of ammo and didn’t question them because Yifan was probably right to stock up after recent events.

“Did you walk over here like that?” He heard Yifan chuckle, “Did you just wake up?”

Baekhyun pouted, “Yixing dragged me over practically by my hair, Hyung. I was eating breakfast.”

“I’ll have to speak to him about being so aggressive,” The leader chided jokingly.

The younger smiled, shuffling a bit awkwardly in place until Yifan patted the side of the bed and Baekhyun moved to sit down on it, pulling his legs up with him.

“So, what are you visiting for, sweetheart?” Yifan asked, tapping Baekhyun's cheek before walking around the room to toss his towel in his laundry basket.

Baekhyun gulped, but played it off with a slight shrug even though the tension was high - but not uncomfortable.

“Uh, Hyung,” The younger murmured, wrapping his arms around his legs as Yifan took a seat at his side, smelling like citrus shampoo.

“What’s wrong?” Yifan worried, tilting his head to capture Baekhyun's eyes, “Someone mess with you? Is Tae okay?”

“No,” Baekhyun mumbled, pressing his cheek to his knee and feeling the blush on his cheeks pinken, “I just… were… you…”

“Were you going to kiss me a few days ago?” Baekhyun breathed out quickly, sucking his breath in with anticipation.

Surprisingly, Yifan laughed and reached out to push one of the long strands of hair from Baekhyun's cheek, “What if I said yes?”

Baekhyun sucked his lip into his mouth but stayed silent, eyeing Yifan’s every move.

“What if I told you that… that for a very long time I thought… that you were a beautiful person inside and outside, Baekhyun. I didn’t at first… I just thought you were young and naive to believe in things so strongly, to believe in people so much. Now, I know it’s because you had nothing else but hope, and couldn't afford to lose it.

But… Yixing brought it up first, said that he thought you and I had a lot going on and could relate to each other. He knew before I did, and… I’m not… going to lie to you, sweetheart, and deny anything. But I’m also not going to sugarcoat anything for you, because I know you hate that. So yes, of course if you allowed it then I would have. Anyone would take the opportunity.”

Baekhyun's breath came out shuttery when Yifan leaned closer, the smaller could feel the heat he was giving off.

“Does.. it hurt you?” Baekhyun whispered, breath fanning Yifan’s jaw, but the man didn’t move away at all.

They were used to close proximity, and Baekhyun was even used to Yifan’s touch and kind affection, but now… now it felt more than that, it wasn’t just attention and affection, but tension and nervousness.

“Sometimes,” Yifan admitted, hand pressing to Baekhyun's spine. “You’re happy though, or pretend to be. But, I don’t… necessarily think that what you and… them have is healthy, but who am I to judge? It’s not my business at all, and it’s… hard to keep healthy relationships these days, I know. I just.. just..

I love Chanyeol, I love Kyungsoo and Jongin. Don't misunderstand, Baekhyun. They’re great men, but we’re all changing. I have… I have nothing to say, I shouldn’t tell you my opinion because it’s skewed and it’d be unfair because what you do is your business.”

“What if… I want your opinion.”

Yifan reeled back with a surprised look, “I… Baekhyun, I don’t know everything. I just know… all the boys know, and none of them have directly.. said anything, but I really should mind my own business.”

Baekhyun laughed, but shook his head, “You're not minding your business, if you were then we wouldn’t be discussing this right now, it’s unfair to yo-“

“Do you feel something for me, Baekhyun?” Yifan interrupted, “Because you can't say it’s unfair to me if you feel something. If you didn’t then you wouldn’t care to be here right now, you’d probably be crying and apologizing, because I know you.”

Baekhyun couldn't escape the truth that he was conflicted, this felt like cheating, because he felt something, and even if it wasn’t the love he felt for his husbands - it was still a feeling more than gratitude.

He was scared.

“Hyung, I… I don’t know, I can’t possibly…”

Yifan only smiled, despite the fact Baekhyun saw his expression drop slightly, and he didn’t know what the leader had been expecting him to say, but either way Yifan still smiled at him like he hadn’t broken his heart.

“That’s okay, you don’t have to know.” Yifan murmured, reaching over to grab his fingers, “I don’t expect you to know, Baekhyun.”

“I’m sorry,” Baekhyun murmured.

The leader laughed under his breath, “It’s okay, nothings changed.”

Baekhyun couldn't help it and pulled his hand from Yifan’s grip to throw his arms around his neck, he pressed a kiss to the man’s jaw before burying his face into his collarbone.

Yifan sighed into his hair, arms entangling Baekhyun tightly, “You don’t need to feel bad, beautiful.”

~~~~~~~

“Taeyong, do you want more?” Baekhyun cooed, walking into the dining room to kiss his brother's head.

Taeyong looked up at him through his hair, a ring of darkness around his eyes, but didn’t respond, Baekhyun was just glad he agreed to come down for dinner so he didn’t say anything, only draped himself over Taeyongs back.

“Baby, give him some space,” Kyungsoo crooned softly, patting Baekhyun's chair beside him.

Baekhyun completely ignored that in favor of messing with Taeyongs hair, “Is it okay if others come and play games with you, Tae?” He asked, turning his head to look under his brother's hair, “Taehyung was interested.”

“Okay..” Taeyong whispered, hand moving to itch at his turtleneck.

Baekhyun heard someone sigh and tightened his hold around Taeyongs shoulders, because he knew that sort of noise well recently.

They just hadn’t been able to see eye to eye in a while, and part of it was because Baekhyun leeched onto Taeyong, but could they really blame him when Taeyong had nearly died?

Plus, they hadn’t been getting along for awhile, they weren’t adapting to Alexandria even before Yifan was in charge - and now that Yifan was it felt like they were even more testy with each other.

It wasn’t entirely their fault, but Baekhyun refused to change how he was just because they wanted to be possessive or frustrated with him.

“Taeyong, Sehun mentioned going outside the walls on a run soon? You in?” Jongin asked across the table, fingers intertwined over his plate and watching Taeyong for any sign he was paying attention.

But Taeyong merely shrugged, pushing around his food.

“That’s okay,” Baekhyun chirped into Taeyongs hair, “You don’t have to, bug, that’s fine.”

“Baek,” Jongin sighed, “Please let him talk.”

Baekhyun's mouth pulled into a scowl, he kissed Taeyongs hair and went to move away, but his brother grabbed his arm - Baekhyun sent him a pleased smile and went back to hovering over Taeyong.

He heard a fork clatter on the table and wasn’t surprised at Chanyeol's furrowed brow, “Taeyong, you can blame me all you want, but please don’t… shut us out like this, it’s been nearly three weeks and it’s unfair-“

“You don’t think it’s unfair to him?” Baekhyun questioned, “He’s the one that was shot, Chanyeol, I think he can have a little time to himself.”

“That’s not the point, of course he can,” Kyungsoo cut in with a shake of his head, “We just want to make sure he doesn’t.. get depressed, or turn-“

“Turn into me.” Baekhyun finished.

It went silent except for Taeyong jumping out of his seat to run up the stairs, leaving Baekhyun to lean over the back of his chair with his head down and shoulders stiff.

Truthfully, Baekhyun wouldn’t care about the comparison, not at all, but it was the fact that he thought they were being too… hard on Taeyong, felt they weren’t giving him enough time to heal.

They just didn’t understand that Taeyong was a teenager, and they were adults and processed differently.

“Baekhyun, we just think maybe you’re babying him too much.”

Baekhyun was - but that was the point, because he wanted to make sure Taeyong knew he was still here for him, and they couldn’t understand that.

“He’s sensitive right now,” Baekhyun muttered, reaching over the table to start cleaning up Taeyongs area, “I’m trying to be happy he’s even alive, okay? Fuck yes I’ll baby him, he nearly died, and has a huge reminder of the event all the time, I can understand the feeling - you can’t.”

“This isn’t about you right now, Baek. His scar really isn’t that ba-“

Baekhyun scoffed at Jongin, looking at him in disbelief, “He feels it is. You can’t just tell him to get over it and expect it to work - you guys should be able to understand that.” He spat, shoving Taeyongs chair back into the table before crossing his arms.

Instantly Kyungsoo was standing up with a neutral expression, and Baekhyun knew he was about to get pissed because he hated when Kyungsoo had to point out shit, because usually he was right. “Baekhyun-“

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore,” He interrupted, “Just give Taeyong space.”

“You never want to talk about anything anymore.” Chanyeol mumbled, more of a whisper than anything and it only made Baekhyun angrier.

“What do you want me to say?” He began, eyes reddening, “You get mad when I tell you to give Taeyong space, you get mad when I go speak with others about his condition, but then you don’t even consider things from his perspective - I do. You wouldn’t understand what it’s li-“

“This is not about you, Baekhyun!” Jongin cried, not a yell, but firm enough Baekhyun looked at him in shock. “Everything is about you, even when it’s not. It’s not, god, you’re so frustrating lately, why can’t you just… just listen for once?”

“Listen?” Baekhyun growled, “Listen? How? You mean by never speaking to Yifan because you have some sort of manly pride to keep? Or to not see my own brother? Or are you just pissed I’m not in the mood to pay attention to you?”

Jongin just stared at him, teeth gritted and Baekhyun nearly rolled his eyes at the sight, beyond annoyed.

It was an awkward topic, the fact that Baekhyun didn’t pay as much attention to them, or give as much affection as they were used to.

But he knew it was one of the reasons everything was so tense, even more so when Baekhyun shrugged off all of their suggestive or even blatant requests for affection.

They hadn’t had sex in over a month, not since Baekhyun had last been with Chanyeol, nearly a month an a half ago, and everytime it was even suggested or affection led to such Baekhyun wasn’t in the mood - especially not recently, not when he needed to take care of Taeyong and it was ridiculous that they would be frustrated he took care of his own brother.

It was tense, and it wasn’t like their relationship relied on sex, it really didn’t, but it was the obvious issue that Baekhyun didn’t need their affection anymore.

It hurt, stung, because if they didn’t kiss, hug, or even talk then it was hard to tell if Baekhyun felt anything towards them at all.

So, it was combined frustrations, from many topics and stressors.

“Okay.” Kyungsoo murmured, laying his palms flat on the table, “Baekhyun, we’re not saying things are your fault, but it’s obvious we… feel differently. I love you, we love you, but it just feels like we aren’t on the same ground. That’s okay, and we can work on it, but sometimes we need to compromise, and you aren’t will-“

Baekhyun clicked his tongue and shook his head, “You never tried to give me options? I can compromise, Hyung. I love you all, and I’m willing to agree, but I’m not going to listen to ridiculous ideas like… like saying I need to leave Taeyong alone, it’s my brother, and I’m going to do what I want to make sure he’s okay.”

It got silent then, but it just seemed they were thinking things over, so Baekhyun waited, moving to lean against the window beside him and peering between the blinds.

It wasn’t completely dark out yet, he could see them still messing with the wall and Junmyeon playing with Jisung who had bubbles and ran around the street like the little demon he was.

It was nice to see everyone able to find something good here, well, mostly everyone.

“You could give us a chance to talk to Taeyong more, without interrupting,” He heard Jongin begin and continued looking out the window, listening.

“Listening,” He murmured to let him know he heard.

Wood scraped the tile and Baekhyun knew it was Chanyeol because Kyungsoo always got on him for dragging chairs around, “You have to stop seeing Yifan so much, at least… at least stop flirting back.”

Baekhyun clenched his jaw but otherwise didn’t say a word.

“We’ll try more, all of us - you too, Baekhyun, we all need to try to come together more. Maybe spend less time outside, more time in, more time with Taeyong and each other.”

Baekhyun liked that one, a rational one from Kyungsoo and he knew the man really thought it through carefully. “Okay.” He murmured, turning back to look at them. “I can agree to that one.”

“You’ll give us a chance to see Taeyong, and you’ll distance yourself from Yifan?” Chanyeol asked for confirmation, raising his brows.

Baekhyun frowned, giving a small shake of his head, “To… Taeyong, yes, to Yifan… no, that’s ridiculous. We see each other everyday, Chanyeol. I act the same with him as I always did.”

“As you always did and he’s still in love with you, that means something needs to change.” Jongin answered, sounding nearly scolding and Baekhyun was offended.

“You act like I asked for that to happen,” He muttered, pulling his brows together, “I didn’t do anything, that’s not my fault.”

None of them answered in agreement or disagreed at all, but Baekhyun could see on their faces they didn’t believe him.

He scoffed, and hadn’t cried this entire time which was a shock in itself, but could feel his eyes burning with tears. “You think I did something? I didn’t. The most you see is what it is - I’ve always been the same with Yifan as I am now, it’s you that’s suddenly upset about it.”

“Because Yifan couldn't be any clearer lately,” Chanyeol said under his breath, obviously restraining his tone, and Baekhyun would normally appreciate that if he wasn’t being so possessive, “He’s the one that’s changed a lot towards you.”

“How is that my problem? Go talk to him.” Baekhyun demanded, “You guys are being irrational, you love Yifan, and suddenly I’m not allowed to love him to-“

“Don’t say that,” Jongin grimaced, “When you say it, it doesn’t feel right, Baekhyun.”

“I…” Baekhyun sniffed to himself because he hadn’t done anything, he did love Yifan, they were family, was he not allowed to love his family anymore? “I can’t… agree to something I never meant to do. It’s not my fault, p-please.”

He didn’t even know why he was trying at this point, but they were obviously trying to get past their own frustrations, so Baekhyun should too, but he never asked for this and he never asked for things to distance and cause their insecurities.

“You know what,” Chanyeol murmured, head down as he spoke so Baekhyun couldn't see his face, “We just… I need a break so I can work on myself.”

Out of all people Baekhyun wouldn’t have expected that from him, maybe Kyungsoo, but not Chanyeol.

“No,” Jongin disagreed instantly, “No, we’re going to figure it out right now.”

Kyungsoo sighed, shaking his head. “We all have different ideas, Jongin. I don’t agree with some of yours or Chanyeol's, you might not agree with mine and Baekhyun obviously doesn’t agree.”

Baekhyun chewed his lip, chest rising and falling rapidly, but he wasn’t sobbing, just a small stream of tears falling. “Kyungsoo is right. Chanyeol is right,” He whispered, “Just.. until we can agree. I… I'm going to room with Taeyong, you guys can have the other room and the spare.”

Then, he was twisting at the sparking ring on his finger and pressing his palm flat on the table, taking a deep breath before removing his hand and turning to dash up the stairs.

Face scrunched up in pain, Chanyeol reached out to grab the ring, holding it up between two fingers and it had been on Baekhyun so long there were even tiny scratches on the band from their struggles. “I didn’t mean… mean like that.” He whispered.

“Put it in here,” Kyungsoo muttered, pushing a vase towards Chanyeol before twisting at his own ring on his hand, “So we don’t lose them.” He added, dropping his own inside.

The pile of rings were mismatched, random ones they had gotten from walkers as it would be impossible to have a complete set of matching bands.

But, they still looked beautiful all together.


	75. A New Life

  
“Tae! I'm going to help on the wall!” Baekhyun yelled as he shoved his boots on.

Only a second later, he heard the teenagers door slamming open and saw him lean over the railing of the stairs, “I thought they were done?”

“Just the fine details,” Baekhyun answered with a grin, “The watchtower needs to be fixed up and they’re adding lights up there and supply boxes, just little things. Your lunch is in the fridge.”

Taeyong just continued staring at him, so Baekhyun raised a brow at his weirdness, turning to grab a thigh holster to go over his jeans.

“Hyung?”

“Yeah, baby,” Baekhyun muttered, tightening it and checking the knife inside.

“It’s not… my fault you guys aren’t together, right? I mean… your fight a few days ago… I-I heard some.”

Baekhyun furrowed his brows and raised his head to look up at Taeyong.

The teenager looked incredibly guilty, “I… sat by the stairs.”

“Taeyong,” The elder sighed, shaking his head, “It’s not your fault, bug. We.. haven’t been getting along for a while, it’s fine, honestly. We don’t need each other all the time. In fact, we really need a break sometimes, being together so often. Don’t worry about it, you don’t see me being upset.”

“You.. aren’t upset?”

Baekhyun laughed, shaking his head a little bit, “Of course not, I have faith that we’ll figure things out. It will just be like at the camp all over again, we have to relearn about each other and adapt. It’s not your fault, and it’s not something sad, we’re just… being family right now instead of… together and that’s okay.”

Taeyong still looked apprehensive, but Baekhyun gave him a small smile and the teenager relaxed a little, “Can… you ask someone to come play games with me?”

Baekhyun was going to suggest the younger go outside and walk to the wall and ask himself, but knew Taeyong didn’t want to leave the house and he didn’t want to push him too much.

“Of course, bug, who do you want?”

~~~~~~

“Okay I need the lightest one to go up there.” Yifan called, stepping away from the new watchtower, “Yix-“

“Doing something!” The medic yelled across the grass.

The leader rolled his eyes and pretended he hadn’t when Minseok laughed at him, but otherwise went back to wiping the sweat from his brow and looking at the new watchtower.

“Baek, we need you over here!“ Minseok yelled.

Baekhyun looked up confused, setting down the wooden garden box he and Yixing were creating to run over at a slow jog.

“Oh, perfect, yeah. We need you to go up there, sweetheart.” Yifan explained, “Need you to hook the ladder on there tightly.”

“Okay, I can do that,” Baekhyun agreed, wiping his dirty hands on his shirt, “Can you help me up?” He added, hands raised towards the tall platform.

Just as he said that his soulmates looked over, and Chanyeol was close to walking over to help but Yifan was already grabbing Baekhyun's waist, “Be careful, Baek.” He requested, boosting him as high as he could.

Chanyeol instead turned away with an irritated expression despite the obvious fact Baekhyun would have needed help up to the top anyways.

“Oh! Careful, careful, Baek!” Luhan yelled.

Baekhyun threw his elbows up and wiggled until he could get a leg over the edge before huffing and taking a second to think about why the fuck they hadn’t added the ladder as they went because fuck it was really high up.

“I’m good!” He settled on, climbing to his feet and leaning over the side, “Ladder?” He asked, leaning over the edge beside the wooden rails.

“There’s already a few metal clamps, hook them in there and it should be good enough that I can get up and tighten it all up.” Yifan explained as he and Minseok held the ladder towards where it should rest.

Baekhyun flushed as he realized his predicament as they held the ladder up, “Um… Hyung, I’m not strong enough to make it tight, it might not hold.” He admitted, attempting to tighten the clamps down on the wood more.

Yifan and Minseok let the ladder go, and Baekhyun continued trying to tighten it, scared it would break if someone tried to walk up.

“Don’t worry, gorgeous, we can get someone else up.” Taehyung chirped from the ground, getting an immediate warning look from Jongin but the younger only wiggled his brows.

“Just walk around a little, does it feel okay?” Sehun asked, walking over with a sunburned face to look up at the tower.

Baekhyun hummed and started walking around a small bit, “It’s sturdy, it’s like… really hot up here though, the sun is pointing right this way, someone could get a bad burn up here too long.” He worried.

“I'll start making something, Hyung.” Sehun mumbled, turning to rush over to the scrap pile of wood and metal.

“Okay, come down, Baek.” Yifan said, a hand over his eyes to block the sun as he looked up.

“Just a sec,” Baekhyun muttered, dragging the bench away from the ladder before leaning against the rail, “It’s not that hot if we keep the be-“

The wood crackled, then suddenly the decaying rail beside him was giving out and Baekhyun was slipping off the side with a scream.

“Baekhyun!”

“Fuck!”

“Baek, hold on!”

There wasn’t much else Baekhyun could do but hold on, one hand holding onto the side of the platform and his other digging his nails into the wood of the floor, feet dangling in the air.

It was a long drop at least ten feet from the floor of the tower to the ground, depending on how he landed he could be seriously hurt.

“Fuck, fuck.” Baekhyun cursed, teeth gritted but he could feel his fingers slipping and muscles protesting.

“Let go!” He heard Yifan yelling, “Baekhyun, let go, I'll catch you!”

“Baek, let go!” He heard Kyungsoo order, and reluctantly let go.

He expected to land hard on the ground, and they did go tumbling, but Kyungsoo had braced his fall a lot and barely even groaned when Baekhyun dropped down into his arms and the pressure had both of them going to the grass.

The man only panicked and started brushing the hair from his face, “You okay? Baek, are you okay?”

Baekhyun nodded, mouth agape in shock and panic.

“What the fuck!” He heard Jongin yell not even a second later and was becoming more wide eyed by the second when he marched up to Yifan and grabbed his shirt, “He could have died! What the fuck, man!”

“What?” Yifan’s face pulled together and it was rare they ever saw him this mad - especially at any of them - “You think I wanted that? What hell, Jongin, that’s the last thing I’d want!”

“Well someone didn’t fucking check the rails!” Jongin growled, shoving Yifan’s chest.

The leader scoffed and shoved his shoulders right back but Jongin was already getting back in his face, “I wasn’t even the one that made that, man! Calm down!”

Instead of calming down, not that it was expected he did, Jongin was swinging his arm out and punching Yifan right in the jaw, leading to everyone gasping and Baekhyun climbing to his feet with teary eyes.

“Hey! Knock it off!” Junmyeon tried, but Yifan was already back on Jongin, but he didn’t hit him, he shoved him again, the corner of his mouth bleeding and he was obviously pissed.

“You want to be tough, huh?” He growled.

“Fuck you!” Jongin yelled as Minseok and Sehun grabbed his arms, “Fuck you, you tried to kill him! What the fuck!”

Yifan looked beyond mad at the assumption and accusation, and even Chanyeol grabbing him wasn’t enough to keep his hand back from pointing a finger at Jongin, “You’re insane! I’m one of the last people that would fucking want Baekhyun dead and you know it!”

“You wanna admit why? Huh?” Jongin laughed and yanked himself away to move the inch closer to Yifan and press them chest to chest, “Because you have some infatuation, and the truth is you couldn’t have him even if you wanted to.” He hissed viciously.

“Fuck you,” The leader spat, and Baekhyun saw his face drop and couldn’t stand by any longer, mouth pulled into a teary frown as he ran over to the two and got in between them.

“Stop it!” Baekhyun yelled, tears pouring down his face, “Stop it,” He requested again, and saw Yifan’s jaw clench like he had something else to say, but Baekhyun was crying so he didn’t say anything else, just glared over Baekhyun's head.

“Go ahead then, Baekhyun,” Jongin growled, “Defend him.”

Baekhyun's brows pulled before he scoffed and shook his head, “You're a fucking child.”

Then, he turned to grab Yifan’s arm, pulling him away “Come on, I’ll clean you up. I’m sorry.”

Jongin looked at Chanyeol irritated he hadn’t done anything in his defense, just let Baekhyun pull Yifan away and Chanyeol merely shrugged and turned away with tense shoulders.

“Good going, Jongin,” Yixing commented, “Because that’s how you win him over.”

Jongin clenched his jaw and turned around to go back to work, and even Kyungsoo had nothing to say to him.

~~~~~~

“Damn it!”

Taeyong smiled, setting his controller down and turning to grab his soda.

“How the hell are you so good at this?” Jungkook laughed, snatching the bag of chips from Taeyongs bed.

“A lot of time,” Taeyong mumbled, scratching his arm awkwardly.

One of the reasons he asked for Jungkook in the first place was because he thought the nineteen year old didn’t talk that much, but it seemed Jungkook took after his soulmate too much these days because Taehyung also had a habit of nonstop talking.

Jungkook only pretended not to see how nervous he was and sighed dramatically, “Well, I’m tired of getting my ass beat, so let’s take a break.”

The younger nodded in agreement and stood up to look in his mirror, adjusting the bandage around his neck.

“Hey, I like these comics, mind if I borrow them?”

“Sure,” Taeyong murmured softly.

Jungkook grinned, turning to look at him before frowning, “Hey. I’ve been meaning to ask, I thought that thing was healed? You still have to wear the bandage? It’s still bleeding after a month?”

The teenager flushed, only shaking his head.

“Oh,” Jungkook shrugged and turned to put his comics in his bag. “Can… I see it? Is that okay?”

Reluctantly, Taeyong untied his bandage and took a seat back on the ground, moving his trash into a pile and pretending not to see Jungkook staring at his neck.

“Man,” Jungkook mumbled, “That’s cool.”

Taeyong frowned and sat back to stare at him confused, “Really? I mean.. it’s pretty gross, and it goes through the back too. It… it’s ugly.”

The elder laughed softly, shaking his head, “I'd be proud if I had a scar like that.”

“Why, Hyung?” The teenager mumbled, brows furrowed in confusion.

“Because… I mean,” Jungkook shrugged slightly, “We’ve been through a lot and have nothing to show for it - you were shot in the goddamn neck and woke up - that’s a lot more than most people get these days.”

“Plus,” The elder shrugged and turned to dig in his backpack, “It looks fucking badass, nobody is gonna fuck with you if you got that. You’re a really strong kid, it’s still insane, I heard Hyungs talking about it the other day and all of them were saying you should’ve died - but you didn’t and that’s awesome, man, we’d be really fucked off if you did. We took down a town full of walkers for you.”

“We… would have had to take down those walkers anyways.” Taeyong mumbled shyly.

Jungkook snorted, “I guess so, but it was amazing, wish you could’ve seen it. Chanyeol started first because he was scared you died, and when Yifan went out everyone else did and I saw them through the window - we had to come help, if we lose we lose together, and if we win we do that together too.”

Taeyong pulled his hands into his lap and his face contorted in confusion, because he hadn’t heard the entire story and it was likely his fault due to the fact he didn’t want anyone to see him.

Didn’t want them to see his scar and feel bad for him.

He already felt bad enough for himself.

“But, if you want to cover it that’s cool too - here,” Jungkook mumbled, holding out a black bandana, “This was my older brother’s but…. he… he’s long gone, you should have it.”

Taeyongs gulped and accepted the bandana, turning back towards his mirror and folding it over.

“Oh, yeah, almost forgot - Sehun and I are going to try and fix the DVD player at my house later, you want to come?”

Taeyong tied the bandana around his neck and found his eyes looking teary as he glanced at Jungkook through the mirror. “Uh… yeah, yeah let me just leave a note for my Hyungs.”

~~~~~~

“I’m really, really sorry about him.” Baekhyun whispered, dabbing at Yifan’s lip.

The leader truthfully didn’t care about the injury, it was literally nothing and would heal within the next day or two, just a small scratch, but Baekhyun looked really upset so he didn’t point it out and let him fuss.

“It’s okay, he was right.”

“Hm?”

Yifan laughed and grabbed Baekhyun's wrist so he could talk, moving the youngers hand into his own lap, “I said he was right, it was dangerous, you could have died, Baekhyun, and it would have been my fault, he had a right to be mad.”

“That’s not why he was mad.” Baekhyun mumbled.

The leader sighed, because that much was obvious, “You want to talk about it?”

The younger shrugged and turned to drop the damp rag onto the coffee table he was sat on, “There’s not much to say, he… we all needed a break, he’s not handling it well, but… it’s just more proof we really needed it. It’s not your fault, he’s just upset and gets jealous easily.. don’t worry about it.”

“No, I do have to worry about it,” Yifan whispered, touching Baekhyun's tear stained cheek with the tips of his fingers, “You cried and that’s not okay, and you’re upset that’s also not okay, Baekhyun.”

“I’m just upset he’s being like this,” Baekhyun admitted, resting his palms over his knees, “It’s… not like him at all, I told him he was turning into Chanyeol once, and now it’s like they’ve switched personalities. It was a big change coming here… trying to… become people again, not having to live like walker prey out in the forest, but I don’t want them to change and that’s selfish of me.”

“They’re not different people, sweetheart,” Yifan soothed, resting his hand on Baekhyun's shoulder, “He’s scared and people do crazy stuff when they’re afraid and confused. You know that, Baek.”

He tapped Baekhyun's nose playfully and the younger in the past would have considered it a childish move, because Yifan saw him as a kid, but now it was only to cheer him up, and Baekhyun appreciated it so he laughed.

“It wasn’t fair though,” Baekhyun licked his lips and rubbed his nose on his sleeve nervously, “He… he didn’t have to say all that, and he didn’t have to hit you. It was uncalled for and I’m really sorry, I’ll talk to him.”

“Don’t apologize for other people,” The man requested, smiling when Baekhyun grabbed his wrist, “But… he had a few points, so I wouldn’t entirely brush him off.”

Baekhyun chewed his lip and ducked his head, because he knew what Yifan was talking about and it didn’t help that he didn’t know what to say, just watched the man run his fingers over where his ring was supposed to be, like Yifan just noticed it wasn’t there in the first place.

“Do you want to stay for dinner?”

The younger licked his lips and sat up with a small nod, “.. okay.”

“Okay,” Yifan echoed, lip slightly puffy in the corner but otherwise he looked perfectly fine, more than fine with the smile he was giving Baekhyun, “You like pasta don’t you?”

“Anything is okay, Hyung.”

Yifan chuckled, laying a palm on Baekhyun's head as he stood up, legs brushing the youngers knees as he walked by, “You can go take a shower if you want, beautiful.”

Baekhyun blushed and looked at the dirt under his nails.

He really could use a shower.


	76. Deserving

  
Baekhyun did talk to Jongin. Well, talk meaning scolding him like he would Jisung for hitting people.

And still, three days later, Jongin has yet to say anything about the subject, anything in his own defense, or just anything to Yifan in general.

That was perfectly fine with Baekhyun too, but he wished that he would at least apologize to Yifan. That seemed like too much of a suggestion though.

Now, Baekhyun was carefully climbing out of Taeyong’s bed without waking the younger.

He could be using one of the spare rooms, even the room they used for Jisung, but Baekhyun never denied being needy and he still couldn’t sleep alone and his brother had never told him no before, and it didn’t start now.

Plus, Baekhyun liked to look over him, even when he slept with his soulmates occasionally he’d find himself checking Taeyong, and Jisung if he was with them for the night.

At least Taeyong was doing more than wallowing at home these past few days, even if Baekhyun missed him because he was clingy.

It was good Taeyong got out some though, and everyone looked really surprised to see him outside yesterday even if it had only been to ask Baekhyun to come back home.

Baekhyun checked the wall clock in the hallway before going downstairs and was confused when the kitchen light was on at four in the morning.

But, the sound of cursing and pans clattering just made him laugh.

“What in the world are you doing?” He asked, gawking and walking over to the bowl of god knows what on the counter and stepping on flour on the way.

Chanyeol looked like a deer in the headlights, hair sticking up everywhere and flour all over his bare chest, it was cute so Baekhyun laughed at him again.

“I… uh… couldn’t sleep, so I’m making cookies.”

“Hyung,” Baekhyun giggled and dipped his finger in the mixture, “You can’t bake.”

Chanyeol frowned and Baekhyun rolled his eyes before putting his finger in his mouth and quickly gagging, “Ch-Chanyeol! Did you even taste this?” He whined, turning on the water to wash his hand.

“Okay, in my defense, I didn’t know the recipe for the ones you make.”

“Hyung, if you wanted me to make you cookies then just ask,” The younger giggled, grabbing the bowl to take to the trash can, “What? Like I’m going to tell you no?”

Chanyeol laughed awkwardly, hand going to scratch the back of his neck before he was quickly reaching out for the bowl and turning the water back on, “I’ll clean it, I made it. Did I wake you up?”

Baekhyun shook his head, kneeling down to grab a new bowl from the cabinets, “Of course not, I was hungry, but I guess I’m making cookies at four in the morning.”

“You… you don’t have to, it’s fine. I really… I don't need them, I just wanted… you know…”

The younger chewed his lip before nodding, throwing his bowl on the counter before going to the pantry, “It’s okay, I have nothing better to do, Chanyeol.”

The elder nodded, but still looked slightly nervous, “It's just… I really like the ones you make, and I didn’t want to bother you.”

“You don’t bother me,” Baekhyun mumbled with a small grin, “I know they’re your favorite, Hyung, I’ll teach you how if you want.”

“No- I… I mean, I don’t want to-“

Baekhyun turned to him with a confused look and Chanyeol sighed, ears slightly red and it was rare he ever was embarrassed, especially in front of Baekhyun. “I just mean I want you to make them for me, that’s all.”

“Oh,” Baekhyun's heart raced but he tried to play it off by mixing ingredients, “Of course, Chanyeol, i'll always make them for you if that’s what you want.”

“I want that,” Chanyeol whispered, barely audible, “I really want that.”

The younger swallowed hard because of his tone, and he knew they should take the opportunity to say a few things, but there was no reason to ruin the moment.

“Do you want to taste?”

Chanyeol walked around the counter and Baekhyun could feel his body heat, he moved closer to it so his side was pressed into the man’s front and held up the spatula.

Batter splattered in his cheek when Chanyeol grabbed the spatula to fast and Baekhyun gasped playfully, a pout coming to his face and he watched the older man’s smirk come out before Chanyeol was laughing and smearing a line of batter on his cheek.

Baekhyun squealed, whining and Chanyeol only laughed harder, trapping him against the counter with sugary batter on his face.

They both laughed, and laughed until the oven beeped to signal it was done heating up.

Then, it was just them breathing, and Baekhyun's arms came to wrap around Chanyeol's waist in a hug and the elder pulled him tighter into his chest.

“I know,” The elder whispered into his hair and Baekhyun sighed deeper at his voice rumbling against his cheek, “I know, Baek.”

He pressed a kiss to the smallers forehead and Baekhyun's nails dug into his back, but they otherwise just stood there.

There wasn’t much else to say.

~~~~~~

“Taeyong wanted to go outside the wall today.” Baekhyun walked up behind Yixing and wrapped his arm around him, joining him on his walk.

“Hyung!” Jisung leaned out of the stroller and waved with a big smile.

Baekhyun beamed, patting his hair and pulling the sun blind down more, “Hi, baby, are we going for a walk?”

“Yup! Hyungie say outside time!”

“Is he okay enough to be outside?” Yixing worried, releasing the stroller with one hand to scoot over and let Baekhyun push half of it, they must have looked like two kids fighting over who got to push, but that was fine too.

“I mean,” Baekhyun shrugged a small bit, “He's Taeyong… it’s not like we can really tell him no. Plus, Sehun went… I think Zitao too, so he’s in good hands, he’s probably just wanting to get out more.”

“That… you sure that bandana will be safe for him? I mean, just thinking clearly, don’t you think it could be a safety risk? If he got in a fight or something?”

Baekhyun chewed his lip because he honestly hadn’t thought about it too much, “I don’t… it’s really thin, it would break easily. I.. I’ll discuss it with my… I’ll discuss it with someone.”

Yixing turned to him with a soft, almost apologetic look, but only wrapped his arm around Baekhyun's shoulders and pulled them both towards a bench, pulling the stroller over and unbuckling Jisung, “Okay, play time before lunch, Sungie.”

The toddler giggled, jumping out of the stroller, “I play… play fighting!” He cried, hitting at the air.

Baekhyun snorted as Yixing rolled his eyes and dug in the stroller for Jisungs chalk, “Yeah? Remember don’t hit anyone, easy when we’re practicing big boy things.”

Jisung nodded before instantly forgetting and squealing as Yixing set the box of chalk down, grabbing it and dashing into the street.

“It’s nice, right?” Yixing murmured, grabbing Baekhyun's hand and pulling it onto his thigh, “Minseok said he had so much hope in the garden, that things are planting nicely, Jun said they were mapping out plans for runs. And Jisung can play outside like this. It’s insane.”

“Insane,” Baekhyun whispered, waving nicely at a few people walking by.

“Have you given any thought to… you know? It’s not my business, but I’m… here for you, and we’re friends.”

Yixing’s tone was more of a question than anything and Baekhyun found he didn’t like it at all because he was long over their incident, if anything he completely forgot about it. “I haven’t… not really, I had dinner with Yifan the other night… I mean, I thought it was just dinner, but it was nice, I think he thought it was a date - maybe it was? I have no idea truthfully.”

“Yifan is a hopeless romantic, so it probably was,” Yixing commented.

Baekhyun hummed in response and looked around a little bit.

“There’s nothing wrong with experimenting,” He heard the man add, “You're single, you’re beautiful, you should try other things, I’m sure there’s many people here that would be extremely excited even if you just showed interest in them.”

Baekhyun blushed at that, laughing and throwing his head onto Yixings shoulder, “You think so?”

“Oh, definitely,” Yixing cooed, “Saying no? To you? Come on, sweetie, if I was single maybe I’d even go for it, hm? Want to have lunch with me and my boyfriends, Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun choked on a laugh, face bright red and hit at Yixing’s thigh with their intertwined hands, “You're ridiculous!” He cried.

The medic laughed harder and shook his head, “Serious though, I’ve even heard talk about people showing interest in your soulmates, it’s okay to try other things while you decide. You should really put yourself out there, see if anyone catches.”

“So Jongin can beat them up?” He drawled, still laughing slightly.

Yixing snorted, “Yeah, I think that was just a Yifan thing. But… maybe if it wasn’t Yifan he would calm down a little. What about Olivia? She’s pretty, I think she’d be really happy if you asked her to lunch or even just spoke to her. Or even like… Spencer is handsome.”

“Spencer’s a dick,” Baekhyun snickered, “And I am definitely not into girls, Xing. Definitely not.”

“Have you ever been with a woman?”

Baekhyun pouted.

Yixing rolled his eyes and squeezed his hand, “See? You don’t know that you wouldn’t like it. Although women are very… hm, in my experience I prefer men too.”

“Trying to s-“

“Hey,” Baekhyun cut himself off quickly and smacked Yixing’s thigh at his laughing, face turning redder by the second.

Kyungsoo merely raised a brow at the two, “Hey?” He repeated, more confused this time, “You guys are so weird, what’s up?”

“We were just talking about Baekhyun dating a girl,” Yixing outed with a smirk, Baekhyun screeched and hit his knee before whining and pressing his nose into Yixing’s shoulder.

“Oh,” Kyungsoo just sounded more confused than anything and Baekhyun peeked at him but saw that his soulmate shrugged and then was slowly smirking, “Baek definitely couldn’t date a girl.”

Baekhyun pouted his lips and sat up, “Why not?”

Kyungsoo grinned and glanced at Yixing for a moment before tucking his hands in his pockets, “Please, baby,” He murmured, “We both know you’re… a squealer, gorgeous.” He waited one more moment to watch Baekhyun's face turn magenta before smirking again and licking his lips before walking off.

Baekhyun's jaw dropped and Yixing was busy cackling beside him.

“Go-God, that was pretty hot, I’ll give Kyungsoo that,” Yixing laughed in shock and Baekhyun was too busy trying to figure out if he should be amused or offended.

But he kept finding himself laughing in shock anyways.

“Wow, I just-“ Yixing wouldn’t stop laughing and Baekhyun whined, shaking his arm, “You're supposed to help me calm down!” He cried.

His friend was practically crying on laughter though, and Baekhyun could understand why, because Kyungsoo was never, ever so outspoken let alone so crude but it was hot; Baekhyun was sort of upset they weren’t together right now or else he would made him deal with the problem he caused in his racing chest.

“Baek- hey, hey… uh..”

Baekhyun blushed more as Yixing whistled at him and the last person he wanted to see when he was both embarrassed and turned on was walking over.

But, Yifan looked more nervous than caring about what they were laughing over.

“Hey, are you… Xing, what are you doing?” Yifan cut himself off with a laugh and whatever he was going for was momentarily forgotten at Yixing’s laughter.

Baekhyun looked at Yixing with a begging expression and the medic obviously took pity on him, “Nothing… just… a very funny-“

Baekhyun growled and elbowed him, opting to throw himself in front of Yixing and instead send a suspicious grin Yifan’s way, “Did you need something, Hyung?”

“Right…” Yifan raised a brow. “I am wondering what you guys are in hysterics over.”

“Oh,” Yixing shoved Baekhyun out of his way, “We were just talking about dating, dating talk, all that Jazz, you know.”

“Baekhyun… wants to date?” Yifan asked, looking more like he didn’t believe a word Yixing said than anything.

“I mean, possibly,” Yixing said defensively, turning to grab Baekhyun's face, “Look at this face, so cute, he needs to get out there.”

Baekhyun pouted his lips because he knew what Yixing was doing, and wasn’t exactly sure he disapproved of it, but at the same time Yixing understood where he was at during this time.

He was in love with his soulmates and that was that, but that also… didn’t mean he wasn’t curious.

With his past being how it is he hadn’t ever even really given a second thought to being with anyone else, and he had his soulmates to thank for bringing him out of his shell and making him more comfortable in that realm of things, but… he couldn’t ever be with someone he didn’t know.

Even if it was a girl, Baekhyun couldn't stomach being with a person he didn’t fully trust.

And he knew Yixing was just trying to help by suggesting he do so, or date some of the other citizens around Alexandria, but they both knew Baekhyun was nowhere near ready for that, even if he was sexually interested.

“I mean… I’m not going to deny that…” Yifan trailed off and tucked his hands into his pocket awkwardly.

Baekhyun's blush wasn’t going away it seemed.

“I guess… that can lead into why I’m here.”

He raised his head curiously, glancing over Yifan’s side to peek at Jisung mainly because he was nervous.

“I was wondering if you wanted to… go on a walk or something, or we could go out to th-“

“He wants to go on a date with you.” Yixing summed up.

Yifan sighed exasperatedly, “Yixing.” He scowled.

The medic shrugged, “You're the worst at trying to go around the subject, just be blunt.”

Baekhyun laughed at the two before Yixing’s words actually caught up to him and he wrung his hands together nervously, “I… I… uh, okay, later?”

“Later, yeah, that’s fine. I’ll… you can just come by when you want to go.” Yifan said quickly, and it was so weird to see him nervous about much of anything, but he obviously was and Baekhyun suddenly felt really guilty. “Okay… i'll… let you guys get back to whatever you were doing…”

He nodded, taking his lip between his teeth and watching Yifan turn to walk away only to be caught in Jisungs clutches with a loud, “Hyung! Me come with you!”

“Is… is it a bad idea?” Baekhyun asked, turning to look at Yixing.

His anxiety must have shown because Yixing didn’t look playful anymore and shook his head, “Of course not. Yifan is a good man, he’d take it really slow.”

“It’s just…” He murmured, “I feel bad… he really feels something and I… I’m just testing… I still love them, Yixing and I’m going to go back to them eventually… I just.. feel so bad.”

“Yifan knows that though,” Yixing whispered, “There’s nothing to feel bad about as long as the other person knows and Yifan isn’t stupid, he would have to be to not know that you belong with them, just not right now.

Sure, he might be upset, might be jealous once you figure things out, but he’s the type of person that lives for what is given, not for what he wants. Hell, me and him were together for more than ten years, Baek, and he’s fine. He already knows.”

Baekhyun gulped, but still felt the guilt in his stomach, “I like him, he’s sweet, but I love them, Yixing.”

“He knows,” His friend soothed, rubbing Baekhyun's shoulder, “Of course he does, sweetie. He’s watched for the past… four years, he knows and still wants to have whatever time he can with you. Don’t feel bad.”

“What if I make it worse?”

“What? Like sleeping with him? Let me tell you one thing, Baek, I didn’t move on because the sex wasn’t good - really, it was gre-“

“That wasn’t what I was saying!” Baekhyun cried.

Yixing beamed at him, “Don’t worry. You don’t have to love him, he’s already had feelings, just do what you want to and Yifan already knows how this will end, just let him have what he can while he can and he’ll be content with that.”

It didn’t make Baekhyun feel any better, because Yifan really was an amazing person and deserved better than to be used, even if he knew he was.


	77. New Things

  
“Where are you going looking so pretty?”

Baekhyun blushed and pulled on his sleeve as he leaned over the side of the stair railing towards the living room.

His soulmates were doing various things it looked like, but stopped all of them when he hit the bottom of the stairs.

“Well? Come over here, pretty.” Jongin grinned and Baekhyun looked around, towards Chanyeol, who instantly dropped his eyes back onto the book in his lap.

He smiled gently, licking his dry lips before walking into the living room and leaning over the back of the couch in between Jongin and Kyungsoo’s heads.

“You look beautiful,” Kyungsoo chirped, hand coming to push Baekhyun's hair behind his ear, and he looked curious, but after Yixing’s loud mouth the other day, Baekhyun was sure he knew why - he didn’t need to ask.

“Really pretty,” Jongin murmured, and Baekhyun on the other hand knew he was going to ask.

“Come here,” The eldest in the room muttered suddenly from his chair, leaning over to pat the coffee table.

Baekhyun laughed, moving around the couch to take a seat and holding the front of his tan sweater between his fingers nervously.

“I haven’t seen you this shy since we first met.” Jongin raised a brow and moved the dismantled gun from his lap to reach over and mess with a rip in the knee of Baekhyun's jeans. “Cute.”

“I…” Baekhyun mumbled, ears pink, “I-all my jeans have holes, does it still look okay?”

“You always look beautiful.” He heard Chanyeol drawl deeply, but the underlying tone had Baekhyun's head dropping more.

He looked up and Kyungsoo just smiled at him, turning to go back to reading and Baekhyun appreciated him lessening the pressure, because Jongin and Chanyeol were not going to like the answers they found.

Instead of replying though, Jongin grabbed his arm and pushed his sweater up his forearm, instantly running over their matching marks, “Always the prettiest, little moon.”

Baekhyun's heart jumped painfully, but played it off with a laugh and brought his other hand to cover his mouth.

“What?” Jongin grinned at him through his hair, “Doesn’t sound right when I say it? Chanyeol only?” He teased, tilting his head to the side.

The youngest in the room laughed harder, but felt something crawling up his throat because Jongin hadn’t been so playful in what felt like years, and he hadn’t heard the nickname in literal years, not since the prison at least a year ago by now.

The thought hurt, but Jongin felt like he used to be, and Baekhyun missed this.

“It sounds nice, Hyung.” Baekhyun giggled, pressing his hands together when Jongin fixed his sleeve and let him go.

“I’m glad,” Jongin laughed, brushing Baekhyun's hair from his face, “So where are you going, Baekhyun?”

Baekhyun pressed his lips together to hide his smile just at seeing Jongin so happy, but then registered his words and glanced at Kyungsoo for help, but the man was pretending not to pay attention, so he sighed and looked at his fingers. “I have a date.”

“Oh..” He heard Jongin barely whisper and heard the living room chair creak, assuming Chanyeol was shuffling around.

He nodded slowly, laying his hands on his knees and chewing his lip as he glanced at Jongin through his hair, “Is…is that okay?”

He didn’t get a response immediately, but he expected as much, after all, they loved each other so it was hard to even imagine this situation - especially from Baekhyun who previously hated being around anyone but them, who would avoid people as long as he could and hid behind them.

It felt odd, wrong, but at the same time it was a big step for their soulmate and they had to be proud of him, even if they wished he would still rely on them.

“Of course,” It was obviously a lie the way Jongin breathed it, hand moving beneath Baekhyun's palm to grasp his fingers, “Of course, Baek, if that’s what you want.”

Baekhyun grimaced, because it sounded so fake but at least Jongin was trying, and he appreciated that Chanyeol wanted to stay silent because he’d probably make things so much worse and he’d leave crying. “I… still love you.”

“And we still love you.” Kyungsoo said quickly, giving him a side eye glance, “That's not even a question, Baekhyun.”

He nodded slightly, moving to stand up, but Jongin climbed to his feet with him, grasping his face in both hands and Baekhyun automatically was moving to grab his wrists, assuming he was going to kiss him.

Jongin looked like he was debating on it, but ended up pulling Baekhyun's face closer and pressing his lips to his temple.

It was so gentle, so painful that Baekhyun's eyes started watering and he closed them for a second.

“Be safe, doll. You need something, let us know.” Jongin murmured into his hair.

Gulping, Baekhyun nodded slightly as Jongin let go, eyes rimmed in unshed tears as he moved to grab his gun off the mantle above the door, “I’ll be back in a little.”

“Of course, my love.” Kyungsoo answered softly.

Baekhyun slammed the door on the way out, and it likely wasn’t intentional, but nobody could be sure.

“It’s good for him.” Kyungsoo started up a second later, but it sounded like he was trying to convince himself first then the other two, “To get out there… and try, he's never had that before, so go easy on him. I trust he’ll be fine.”

“I thought we were on break, didn't know it’d be like this.” Jongin muffled into his palm. “Didn’t know it’d feel like this.”

They had been expecting as much, so when Chanyeol stood up and threw his glass of water on the floor, face red, nobody flinched.

“Fuck,” The eldest hissed, crouching down like he was going to pick up the shards but instead resting his head in his palms.

“You did decent,” Kyungsoo murmured, “I’m surprised, Baekhyun is too.”

“Doesn’t feel that way,” Chanyeol gritted out.

Less than a second later a door upstairs was heard shutting and all of them froze when Taeyong started a few steps down the stairs, dressed in pajamas still and face puffy from sleep.

It was a reminder that he was still a child when he looked so vulnerable, that they were a family.

That Taeyong was supposed to be cared for before anything else; the attention drawing scar in his neck reminded as much.

“Did you sleep all morning, bug?” Jongin asked quickly, not expecting an answer when it was obvious.

Taeyong just brought his hand to rub his eye before frowning, “Baekhyun Hyung leave?”

“Just a few minutes ago, Tae, but Hyungs are here if you need something.” Chanyeol answered, back towards the teen as he picked up the glass.

The teenager shuffled in place awkwardly for a second and they wouldn’t be surprised in the slightest if he just spun around to go back to his room.

But he didn’t.

“Um…” He grabbed the railing with both hands, “Can… can we watch something?”

“We can watch something.” Kyungsoo said instantly, standing up, “Hyung will make snacks, we can have a movie day.”

Taeyong nodded, walking down the stairs.

And even if Baekhyun wasn’t here, at least they were making progress with someone.

~~~~~~

“Here.”

Baekhyun laughed and nervously toyed with his sleeve as Yifan placed a glass of wine in front of him, barely any inside and he suspected the man did so purposely which was kind of him.

Also cute because it was barely even three in the afternoon, too early to drink, but Yifan was trying his best to impress and that much was obvious and painful.

“You're small,” Yifan murmured, moving to his seat across from Baekhyun and leaning over to add more rice to the youngers plate, “Don't want to send you home wobbling, sweetheart.” He joked.

The younger giggled and licked the red wine from the corner of his mouth, “Thank you.”

The leader raised a brow at him questioningly, glancing at him over his spoonful of food.

“I mean…” Baekhyun mumbled, cheeks turning pink, “For… I’ve never - I never had a date before, so… thank you. It’s been… very nice, it’s really nice.”

“That’s a shame,” Yifan drawled with the corner of his mouth upturned, “You're so cute, Baekhyun. It’s been really nice to… get to spend time with you that isn't during panic or when we’re trying to survive. Just… normal things like this, it really makes me feel like things are going to be okay. We have homes, we have people, those walls provide us protection… everything just feels so… civilized, so… normal.”

“I wouldn’t really know,” The younger murmured, shoving a spoonful into his mouth and staring at his plate.

He heard Yifan sigh, and was momentarily scared he had ruined everything accidentally.

But, it was true, Baekhyun hadn’t had a normal life even before the world went to shit.

“You don’t… talk about it anymore, or… take medicine; I wondered for a while, do you still have nightmares? Is there anything else that can be done? Is this… really you, Baekhyun, or do you just feel too bad to show what you really are going through? I mean, it’s been years, you’ve healed so much, but.. after having gone through so much it’s just… hard not to be concerned for your wellbeing.”

Baekhyun pressed his lips together before looking at Yifan, analyzing, because he felt it had been so long since anyone had concerned themselves with asking about his… issues.

His own soulmates didn’t, and Baekhyun knew it was because they were afraid he’d break down, so he didn’t blame them for that.

Yixing couldn't because he felt too bad for his own scared outbursts.

And everyone else just sort of… ignored it, except for Taehyung's occasional comments, but the man was 90% sarcasm and 10% seriousness at all times, so Baekhyun usually just ended up laughing, positive that was Taehyung's motive in the first place.

“I don’t have nightmares, only if I sleep alone.” Baekhyun whispered, leaning closer despite the fact nobody was in this entire house, “I just… it’s so… different? You know, instead of being lost by myself I feel like… the time we spent in the forest and then… here, it’s shown me that I can be lost with others too.

It- it sounds crazy, but I notice differences in myself and a lot of others, my anxiety and panic… can ruin everything in a second, but… there’s not a day I can just forget everything, everyday I have to wake up and… remember, deal with the reminders, but I don’t feel like I can’t get through it, not anymore, because there’s so many more important and urgent things to pay attention to these days; just focus on what you’re grateful for now rather than things that… are wrong in the past and I’ve found… at least when I cry now, It’s more angry than anything else, I’m not sad.”

Baekhyun finished by pulling his feet up into his chair with him, not an uncomfortable move, but obviously signalling he was done eating and was more interested in talking as he rested his chin on his knee.

“You should be angry,” Yifan muttered, leaning on his elbows on the table and giving his full attention with a kink in his brow as he thought, “Hell, Baek, when I was a police officer, if I ever came across cases like yours they usually ended up with the child dead - suicide or killed by their own parent to keep them quiet, and there’s nothing that can justify anyone doing that to anyone else, let alone a parent to a child.

Never once can I forget something like that, Baekhyun, and I remember so many cases, so many things, and it never gets easier. Ever. So, meeting someone like you, who has still been able to beat this world, it’s… amazing. It sounds ridiculous, but I’m not exaggerating when I say a lot of people look up to you for that reason, because you’re a fighter, even if you’re fighting with yourself.”

Baekhyun laughed, because it did sound ridiculous that people would look up to him or all people, the one that screamed when he was even a tiny bit afraid, who burst into tears at seemingly the most minor of reasons.

He wasn’t worth being looked up to - but he was - and it felt really good.

“Do… you want to go sit down? I want to hear more?” He asked softly, pointing towards the living room.

Yifan grinned, chuckling at his awkwardness, but not teasing as he stood up and offered Baekhyun a hand.

It was sweet because the living room wasn’t more than ten steps away, but Baekhyun grabbed the tips of his fingers with red ears anyways.

Baekhyun imagined if this would be what a real date would be like, except it would be at a restaurant, maybe a cafe, if his date would be as kind to him.

At least now there was no reason for people to pretend to be anything but what they were. If they were a rapist, they’d take, and if they were just arrogant, selfish, cruel then it would show because there was no need to pretend when you could die at a moment's notice.

But, even then, it did help that Baekhyun already knew Yifan, already knew so much about him, trusted him and knew that Yifan wasn’t faking a thing, because he was nothing but kind and sweet when he wasn’t trying to keep order and save lives.

Another pang of guilt ran through Baekhyun, but he ignored it in favor of smiling and sitting at the end of the lounge Yifan had taken a seat on, getting a surprised look from the man for choosing a spot so close their legs brushed.

“What do you want to know, sweetheart?”

Baekhyun took his tongue between his teeth in order to give himself a moment to think so he didn’t sound so stupid before slowly reaching out to grab Yifans hand and pull it into his lap to mess with his fingers distractingly, “If… I had gone to the police, do you think I would’ve been safe?”

Yifan looked at him surprised, and Baekhyun knew it wasn’t what was expected, but he was curious. Could things have turned out differently? Would he and Taeyong have had a better life?

It wasn’t that he needed to know, but pure curiosity, because the truth was whatever Yifan said didn’t matter, because it didn’t change the past. That’s why he didn’t feel any shame in asking.

“I want to tell you it would have.. turned out better,” The other began, but he sounded apologetic as he squeezed Baekhyun's hand for his attention, “But… those cases get sweeped under, a lot of the time it’s already too far, gotten too far, the parent gets accused and commits murder and... or suicide, the child might be mentally ill; a few times I had a cases where the child kill…”

“Kills the offender?” Baekhyun added, “It’s okay, Hyung, I was sick. I am. I was… so mad, I had one thing left and - you don’t know the reason.” He cut himself off once he realized and shook his head, “He… I had one thing left, and he stole it from me, it wasn’t fair and I was scared because people were turning into monsters right outside our house.”

His voice must have shook more than he wanted because Yifan moved closer to lay his opposite hand on Baekhyun's jaw, “It’s okay. Take your time, you don’t need to tell me anything, Baek.”

“It was… just a kiss, it seems dramatic now, to take a person life over that when we know how important lives are, but I was so mad,” Baekhyun whispered, a confused expression on his face, “I have so many things to feel bad about now, but that’s still not one of them, I don’t feel bad at all.”

Yifan looked like he had just connected an idea in his head before his thumb brushed the side of Baekhyun's cheek, “Jiyong… because…”

“Same thing.” Baekhyun admitted, “I was scared, it felt the same… I didn’t lie, it was impulse, but I know why, I know what people look like when they… they force themselves on others.”

Yifan went to release his hand and pull his arms away but Baekhyun held his fingers tightly, and the older man instead moved to touch his cheek again when it was obvious he wanted the affection. “I’m not forcing myself on you, Baekhyun, you know that, right? I’m not asking you for anything at all.”

Baekhyun actually laughed, a small breathy laugh and shook his head, “I… I’m asking something of you, Hyung.”

“Hm?”

“Kiss me,” He breathed nervously and quickly, his empty hand wrapping around Yifan’s forearm that was holding his opposite hand, “I want to know what it’s like… with someone other th-“

Yifan brought their lips together smoothly and quickly, like he was afraid Baekhyun was going to take it back, thumb pressing softly into the smallers jaw and pressing his slightly parted lips to Baekhyun's.

Baekhyun muffled a surprised noise before his hands were moving themselves and cupping Yifan’s face in his palms.

It wasn’t anything remotely sexual, it was long, and more than a chaste kiss, but it was all comfort and trust.

Even as Yifan backed off the smallest bit, Baekhyun smiled, keeping his eyes shut and letting their noses brush before laughing cutely, which spurred on Yifan smiling too, pressing a quick kiss to the corner of Baekhyun's smile.

“You should get home before it gets dark.” The elder commented reluctantly, fingers tangled into the soft curls on the back of Baekhyun's head and unmoving away despite his suggestion.

“Okay,” Baekhyun murmured against his cheek.

“Will I see you tomorrow?”

Baekhyun giggled louder and pulled away to grin wide, pulling his sleeves down over his palms in a cute, nervous move, “We see eachother everyday, Hyung.” He laughed, climbing to his feet.

Yifan laughed awkwardly and walked towards the door, “I know, I just… yeah, just get home safe, I’ll watch and make sure.”

“Yifan,” Baekhyun murmured with a small smile, grabbing his keys from the table quickly and moving to stand in the open doorway, “Thank you, you're really… you’re really sweet, I wish… wish things could...”

Yifan only smiled, despite the dulling in his chest and ran his palm over Baekhyun's cheek, “Run along, beautiful.”

Baekhyun giggled and nodded before walking across the street, and Yifan sighed as he leaned against the door frame to watch him.

He was being used, and even if it hurt, he was okay with it. Because in the end, he knew how this would play out.

And, in the end, Baekhyun couldn't love him - he knew that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, not to be morbid, but if I killed off a character (a main) who do you least care for it to be? (Not saying I am or am not)
> 
> Edit: Tired of rude, immature, and straight up unneeded comments, so if it says guest commenters cannot comment, apologies. 
> 
> I’m doing this all for free while about to be taking seventeen units, I legitimately do not have time for this.


End file.
